If he’s retired now, what does it matter?
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Who cares he is retired now🤷
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Why does it matter? He is retired. Is this fight really worth potentially putting a strain on your relationship?
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The real question is why do feel the need to investigate so hard? Why are you reaching out to his ex wife at all? He’s retired and likely made a great life for you or you’d been gone since this lie affects you so badly…
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You asked his sister, contacted his x wife and his school?!?! It must really eat you up. He is retired now and probs doesn’t want to feel embarrassed. He would have to back track on years of a small lie due to not wanting to feel like a failure build and build. He obvs doesn’t want his friends to know. Xx
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Why does it matter it’s clearly a sore subject for him. I don’t do lies of any kind period BUT you have been doing them for Some time it sounds like so just leave it alone. Ask youself this will this end your marriage if not then let that man alone he knows you know he’s full of it
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My ex pretty much lied about a lot of stuff to me. It was as if he was conditioned to be a lier. I never did understand it. The only thing I could think was to make himself look better than everyone else! That was our demise in our marriage.
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I’m sure he’s embarrassed. Let it go! Not worth fighting over.
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“I contacted the schools in question, and he actually flunked out after one semester, which explains why he was drafted”.
Is the guy under investigation by his own wife on such a trivial matter? I feel for him.
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Does it make you feel better to make him feel bad? I mean that’s a lot of investigating for something that really doesn’t matter. The man is retired for goodness sake. Let him have his fantasy.
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It makes him feel good about his self .leave it alone.why does it matter
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It would bother me too. In a marriage you’re supposed to be honest and open with each other. I could see him feeling ashamed of lack of accomplishment, and maybe he uses this to boost his confidence because it makes him feel better. I am more concerned he won’t open up to you, the wife. I believe in living your truest self, because there is nothing more freeing than self-acceptance. Maybe encourage him to accomplish new things and he might be able to let go of this very obvious falsity.
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JMO… if my current contact my ex abt something petty like this. I wld show out and angry as well. If ur not happy with him bcuz of this then leave him. Dnt contact his ex. She’s is ex for a reason. ( to stay in the past)
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After this long time period, he actually believes his lie! If you say it long enough it becomes your truth! Like the others have said, he’s retired now, is he hurting anyone? Did he get better jobs that he may not have been qualified for?
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He might be embarrassed about it i get it but thats a personality flaw to me. What else has he lied about …I hope its his only lie. To lie to his friends etc thats someone but to tell you the same lie? Thankfully he’s retired and can’t hurt no one really.
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This seems like it really bugs you and only you can decide whether or not it’s something that you can live with. Like others have said, he’s been lying for so long that he either believes it or just won’t admit it because he’s embarrassed this lie was continued for so long.
Me being me, I would say something the next time you’re with his friends and he brings up school. I’d be like “why did the school say you flunked out? Why do you keep talking about professors you never had?” Or something like that. I’d call him out, but that just my pettiness, and I’d only do it if he wasn’t abusive. The biggest red flag for me is that if he won’t admit it to his wife at least, and gets this mad about it, what else is he lying about? If he could hold onto a lie for this long, there’s got to be others.
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He’s probably been projecting this I know everything on everything attitude (I understand that!!!) which prompted you to do this investigation lol but if you love him let it go now if you ready to go then use it lol good luck
What else does he lie about?
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I’d just be like dude, you don’t need to lie to kick it, we’re married and I’m not dumb so get your shit together
Why did you feel the need to ask his sister and ex-wife? Why do you feel the need to prove and call him out? And why contact the school? Telling you he failed out actually breaks a lot of the schools policies. Unless you lied about getting information from the school. Do you want to make him feel worthless even more than he already feels? Does he put you down? If so, that’s one thing, if not, who the heck cares. It doesn’t hurt anyone. He may actually believe he did go and earn one.
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Why does it matter so much to you to dig that deep?
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pick your battles hun. its a lie yes but do you gave to end something good based on something thats is so childish.
It matters to him. Let it go. Unless someone asks you directly you can say you didn’t know him then. But you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. One of the smartest people I knew was my great grandmother, she had an 8th grade education when most women got none. Even after school she continued to learn on her own. Your husband needs his degrees to feel worthy, let him have them. How are you harmed by it? Or is your degrees a point of snobbery for you?
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Why does it bother you so much? He’s probably just embarrassed about it. Pick your battles
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Girl u have to let this go
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He’s retired. Encourage him to go get a “another” degree. I bet he will glue with pride and accomplishment.
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He probably feel very inadequate about your degrees and wants to make himself feel important …people are allowed to be anything they want in this day and age lol
It’s weird you investigated this. It’s weird your husband is a liar but…
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Sounds like a chronic liar
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Sounds like a psychological issue… I have this issue with someone but on various other things diagnosed with early stages of dementia. Just be patient let him believe what he wants you know the truth if its that alarming have him get a mental health eval it can be more than a surface issue
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I’m sorry, but it sounds as though you just want to feel superior to your husband. It’s sad the lengths that you were willing to go in order to do so
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I feel like you went pretty far for this small of a lie. Yes it would bother me but anytime he talked about school, I would continue to ask why he’s lying. I do feel that you went really far out of your way…calling the school/his EX and sister…? Like why…?
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Sooo you’re so distraught about it that you actually called his school to ask? Are you sure you want to continue in that relationship? Neither of you seem to be in their right state of mind, your obsession to call him out is just as unhealthy as his lie 
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He is obviously ashamed and embarrassed be a good wife and let it go. Why would you go out of your way to humiliate him? Why ask his ex wife and sister?
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That man lives in a delusional state of mind.
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This would just make me wonder what else he’s been lying about to be honest. I know some people have said above it’s a little lie but he’s made up whole stories to accompany his fake degrees. It seems like something bigger here maybe he’s a habitual liar? I may be biased b/c I know one or two and this is def something they would do
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Man everyone saying pick your battles weird asf. Why does he feel the need to lie to his WIFE. I would absolutely make this a big deal. If you feel like you can’t be honest with your WIFE. He’s most definitely lied about other things, big & small. Should never ever lie to someone you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? Weird as hell. It’s not weird you “ investigated” this. I would of did everything you did plus some 
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Some people live a lie so long it becomes the truth for them. Is this something that you need to prove for some reason? does it make you uncomfortable because you have degrees and he doesn’t but he lies and says he does. I mean I feel like these lies are harmless but he really doesn’t need to lie but if he’s done it for so long he believes it maybe himself so my question is why do you feel the need to let everybody know it’s a lie good luck and God bless you.
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It’s possible he may believe it I had an ex that was like I have all these classic cars to restore and I can fix cars no problem couldn’t fix shit and got mad when he couldn’t and lost the pieces so I couldn’t fix them either and when I wanted to see the cars he’s like I moved them
The amount of people saying to drop it is scary lol 
He is weird & a liar who makes up elaborate stories to support his lies. If he can lie about something so irrelevant imagine how he’ll explain how his wife went missing 
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This entire thing seems super petty tbh I would not go through that much trouble about something like this. Id let it go
Why does it really matter all that much to you? Is this the land you want your “marriage” to die upon orrrr?
If you married him knowing he was lying when did it actually become an issue? Cause at some point it apparently did not bother you enough. Either you accepted or you didn’t! You need to really figure out why it’s an issue now. I can’t stand a liar so I wouldn’t marry one. And then complain that he lied. Doesn’t makes sense.
You should look up the story about John Meehan AKA Dirty John. Please don’t listen to the comments that say to let this go, this kind of a lie is not okay, especially if he won’t admit it after you found proof. This would absolutely be grounds for separation in my book.
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I’d ask him to see a therapist. It’s one thing to lie. It’s another to live in denial.
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I hope he doesn’t claim to be a doctor 
jk
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Speaking from experience, I dated a man that had similar lies. When the red flags started waving, I did some digging. I came to find out that wasn’t the only big lie he told. If he is still is telling that lie after all these years, I guarantee there are far more you don’t know about.
Ladies! It probably matters to her so much because going to college and especially the extent he is fibbing about, is some serious hard work! If she busted her ass to get similar degrees and then found out the man she is with someone who is a totally fibbing, I would be pissed too! It probably has her wondering what else he has been lying about.
I don’t know why everyone is okay with this. He’s not just a retired dude with a fantasy…he’s been lying about this for years AND telling elaborate stories to go with it? Best case scenario he’s just a real intense weirdo…that you should flee from. Hopefully he’s not weird enough to chase you down
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What are you going to do with this information? Just let it go
I have an EX husband that lied about things like that too. Lied about being a marine, a poet…the list goes on. The lying didn’t end there. He was pathological-admittedly so. He lied about EVERYTHING. Little things. Big things. Literally EVERYthing. That along with some other things ended the marriage. Lying is not ok. This is not ok.
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Just let it go. It was so long ago.
Upset about his past, upset in regards to what he didn’t accomplish and can’t face the truth, nervous about what others would think if they knew the truth… sounds like that time was hard on him and he never recovered. Maybe someone close to him made him feel so little for “flunking out” he never wants to feel that way again.
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I’d suggest he sees a therapist/ psychologist. There must be an underlying reason for him to be living in denial with such strong delusions for years and years on end. If he refuses I’d consider leaving over something like that.
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I had an ex who lied about some of the most stupid things. I was told it wasn’t worth fighting over “small lies”. Then later on I found out about his girlfriend he was lying about.
There are no “small lies” in my book. A lie is a lie! There is no respect if they can’t be completely truthful with you. I am just appalled with how many people just think it’s ok. 
Know your worth girl. Don’t put up with disrespect and manipulation.
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He has some kind of issues mentally.
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Is it possible that he has dementia
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Like he may remember attending for those programs. But not recall not actually getting the degrees.
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This is NOT ok and it is a big deal. I’m surprised you allow him to continue with this deceitfulness. 
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My ex husband lies about going to Iraq. His DD214’s say he went to North Carolina and Japan. He claims when he was dishonorably discharged for smoking weed they took all his medals, demoted him to Private and removed Iraq from his paperwork. Lol ok
Liars be lying
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Let him have his fantasy… He probably feels inferior amongst educated people… Especially women.
Everyone has their quirks.
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Why does it matter so much to you, you have yours that you pointed out about that my be why he want to impress you I can’t imagine why with your conceited behind…
My ex lies about these things too. And he doesn’t even have to most the time. I’m pretty sure my ex is a narc but we seem to throw that term around a lot. My ex likes to lie he finished his GED. Lol he took some prep courses but was to chicken to take the actual test. Or he failed. Idk I was with him at the time and he wouldn’t actually tell me the truth. I think he was ashamed of himself. And he would always make fun of me for being “too smart”. But I suppose if he isn’t hurting anything I’d let him have it to an extent but I would let him know he can’t pull the wool over your eyes. Hahaha
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Ummm, liars dont just lie about ONE thing. They lie about a lot of stuff. I’m guessing he’s lying about more in life than degrees. That’s a huge one to just start with 
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It’s likely he needs counseling. I would definitely offer compassion rather than criticism if I were you.
Often, people who lie about key details of their past are protecting or guarding a previous trauma. Learning how to process our trauma in healthier ways may allow acceptance of one’s reality.
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He feel bad must bee some reason
Your husband is now retired & was drafted, so it’s a possibility that he’s in his 60s and we dont know how long yall have been married & this is what consumes you?! Lmao. You reached out to his ex wife??
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Why does it matter that much? Just get over it and ignore the stories
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I don’t see why it matters…maybe just drop it and let him tell what he wants. Can’t believe even investigated this…
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Its a lie!!! It does not matter about What!! A lie is a lie!!!
Its stunning how you people think its Okay!
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I believe deep in his mind he wanted to graduate and have the degree, but he haven’t really accept that he never got it, it can be painful and disappointing for him to be reminded of that, you should just let it go, it is something stupid to be mad about… you know the truth and that’s what matters.
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Maybe he has dementia or on the spectrum or just an egotistical idiot
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and what else does he lie about i hate ppl lying to me
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He doesn’t want to admit to himself he was a failure when it came to schooling
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Cant stand people who.lie and it would bug me the same just why??
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For all of you saying why does it matter, let him live his fantasy it matters because it is a LIE yes maybe he is embarrassed because he didn’t actually get his diploma or whatever but it still does not give him a right to lie about it and for those that are saying maybe he has dementia did he have it with his ex wife to? No he has always lied about it by the sounds of it so shaming her because she gets irritated because of his lies is not on. A lie is a lie no matter what it’s about there is never a good enough reason to lie and she doesn’t have to accept it.
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I can’t believe people think she’s wrong for being upset lol he’s a liar to the people who are most important in his life- what does that say about him
Also she worked hard for her degrees it’s unfair he’s being rude about it
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Sounds like my ex husband. He has lied about a ton of stuff, becoming a police officer and being in the Marines, he told people he went overseas and all kinds of stuff. None is true at all. He can’t even hold a regular job lol. I think he says things that he wishes were true.
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Maybe he wants to feel like he accomplished something and because he didn’t he is angry,
This is a common hallmark of Narcissistic Personality Disorder… my ex did this the entire time we were together. He claimed a Masters Degree in mechanical engineering, but I know for a fact he can’t do simple algebra because he never learned his multiplication tables and I earned his Associates degree… I have 4 higher degrees. He destroyed me!
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It’s a source of regret&shame obviously leave him alone. My dad talks about “When he was in the Navy” in the 80’s. But the truth is my dad was dishonorably discharged from basic training due to a Cocaine addiction he’s dealt Coke all but 6 mos of my life. No he’s not a Narcissist he’s not abusive either just a man that has battled a bad drug addiction for 30+ years and has one to many regrets. 
Telling those stories probably temporarily boost his self esteem maybe encourage him to go back to school it’s never to late.
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Reaching out to his ex wife about it is abit extravagant. what he is lying about is totally stupid but a lie is a lie and he’s an asshole for that. Maybe he is embarrassed that he flunked but still not good enough to lie about
Not only is a lie a lie but the fact he gets that angry when you ask him about it is a HUGE red flag. You guys sound like you have been married awhile, long enough that he should know he can tell you the truth and your still gonna be there anyways but instead he just keeps on lying AND getting angry at you for it. That is not okay in any way, shape, or form.
I don’t know how a bunch of you are acting like “oh its not that big of a deal.” Ya it really kinda is. That is so toxic. Dealing with a liar is the worst.
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I dont like lying but maybe he has always regretted flunking it and it makes him feel better by pretending he has these degrees etc 
as long as thats the only lie he’s telling its not hurting anyone let him have it. I dont understand why you felt the need to investigate it tbh
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Send him back to uni to get his degrees 
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Print him up a certificate that says he graduated and have a nice life!
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Nahhh people who lie about stuff that literally doesn’t even effect them worry me to no end. What else can and will they lie about? I’d imagine that he’s lying like that because he’s got an insecurity about it. Perhaps some therapy would do him good but he would have to admit he’s a liar in order to admit he’s insecure about something in the first place. Liars are some of the worst kinds of people (who don’t physically hurt people), couldn’t be me putting up with someone who lies.
Lying hurts especially when it hurts others. Ask yourself is his lie hurting you or someone else? Will correcting this lie help fix or solve anything?? I dislike liars. But this screams to me that perhaps he gave up some of his dreams or he couldn’t achieve them and he’s lying because it makes him feel better about not being able to cut it. Im a firm believer in telling the truth but I’m also a firm believer in kindness. To me personally it seems like you’ve gone quite out of your way to prove him wrong like you are in some contest. Maybe it’s just me but as long as his lie wasn’t hurting anyone I wouldn’t care.
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When you’re married, you must choose your battles… but those are big lies. A marriage without honesty is not likely to be a happy one. I’d suggest professional help. Best of luck to you!
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What else does he lie abt…?
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He probably truly believes his own lies at this point. There may be underlying causes to this… but you’re completely right for being mad.
Wow why cant you let it be? He your husband for NOW . does it change anything does its change how much it loves you? Does it change how it puts food on the table or roof over your head?.. To me you sound like someone whos always has to right not matter what…i bet his next wife dont come ask you about it
This is not ok and I don’t care if he’s retired. He wasn’t honest with his spouse to begin with, even after so many years of marriage-F that! And yes it has happened to me, he lied about his education. And when I brought it to his attention he became angry with me? 
He’s the nut living in a world where he can’t handle the truth. Lying about petty crap like this, I can only imagine what other crap he lied about.
Yeah this is called a personality disorder and they will defend themselves about whatever it is lol… those kinds never get better
There’s more to a lie than meets the eye. A lie is never told in pure isolation. Someone will have a reason for lying, even if those reasons may not seem very reasonable. And, as much as we might not like to admit it, we all lie pretty much every day of our lives. So you can pretend your little white lies or fibs don’t count because they don’t hurt anyone but we are no better than any other liar. You can live your life with blunt, brutal honesty if that’s how you so choice to live. Me personally I tend to see the bigger picture. I don’t know this man’s reasons for lying anymore than you do. People lie out of insecurity, fear, or nervousness without even realizing that they’re doing it. It’s a survival mechanism of sorts for some. That’s not to excuse the lie one bit. And it doesn’t make it any less acceptable or hurtful or even right. But we are all fragile creatures stuck in this insanely difficult and ever demanding world and it makes some of us feel worthless and small. In simple terms it’s self preservation. The act of willing your life into something that matters or counted. They tell a bare faced untruth to avoid punishment or blame. They lie to save their own skins and sometimes to feel like their existence wasn’t some waste of time. You’re right, lying is wrong. But sometimes, the lie plays second fiddle to the very practical matters it was hiding.
So while you may want to address the lie and the liar, it may have to wait until you have dealt with the immediate aftermath. Some people are hurting. And we don’t hurt hurt people just so we can feel right or superior. We try to understand. But I realize there are way more people who come to these situations immediately wanting to point out error so they can collect their, reward??? And if he’s been lying for YEARS. Why is she still there? I hate taking sides but I’m more upset that a wife would go to such lengths to discredit her partner. Maybe it’s just me but that seems as equally as toxic as being a liar. I guess what I’m saying is we just need more people who want to fix issues like this instead of being right and being able to say I told you so.
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As long as he doesn’t have other red flags I’d let it go. So as long as he’s not an abusive narcissist the lie doesn’t hurt anyone. Just makes him feel better about himself in front of his friends who probably all have degrees or are more successful than him in his eyes
He probably been lying about it for so long that he believes his own lies.
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The guy lied about college degrees and is now making up college stories. He needs to come out of his fantasy world and seek therapy. This is not normal or healthy. What other things is he going to invent and lie about? Is he actually starting to believe this fantasy happened? This is a slippery slope.
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Why does it matter after all these years?
Why does a degree matter?
Like cool for you, wow you did it… but it’s like throwing it in his face.
Why does it matter, my sister told me the best thing is people not knowing you it means you can tell people anything you want you can have the best childhood you want it to be, works perfect