Apparently he doesn’t trust me
Which blows my mind Because we have been married for 3 years and share 2 sons together,
But he doesn’t trust me like wtf!
His ex wife and he were together less then a year! No kids no shared friends nada and his always been mine but I feel gutted he looked me in the eyes and said I don’t trust you
Should I not be upset that my husband had his ex wife as his next of kin, but never me?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband lists his ex listed as next of kin, why?
No trust = no relationship
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Wow 
it’s time to file for a Divorce
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Girl you need to leave his ass. Your wasting your life. I know the kids but if you stay you will be miserable
That would be an ex husband for me. His ex can have him.
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Read this whole post over again. If you aren’t answering your own doubt. Read it again. He doesn’t trust you. You have kids together. He does you get nothing. Read this again. He doesn’t trust you.
It’s time to hit the door. No way this is acceptable.
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Then let him be with his ex wife. Sorry that’s bull shit
Your married and have children.
This is not acceptable. Leave him.
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If he don’t trust you why did he marry you? That’s some dumb sh*t. Like who keeps their ex as a next if kin.
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Um nope,. Counseling immediately
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Have you talked to him about this? 
what did he tell you?
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Maybe he just didn’t think to? Next of kin where? Is it something he JUST did or an old thing he hasn’t changed?
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Bye 
Wtf is he still even having her engaged in his marriage with YOU?? Unacceptable
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What the heck? I’m so sorry! This is just not ok!
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He has to have a reason to don’t trust you to the point that he made his ex his next of kin. There is reason for that.
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This man moves fast. Red flag number one. He married u but doesn’t trust you red flag number 2.
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he can list her all day long, in the end—you are the one with the rights to pull that plug, collect the life insurance, keep the house etc. If he doesn’t trust you though… I’m not sure I’d stick around
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I mean my parents divorced over 15yrs and my dad had my mom listed next of kin for a very long time. Pretty sure she still is. I was my ex husbands for a while after divorce. But he changed it to our oldest daughter (idk if he added any other kiddos hes almost got 6 now)
How rude and disrespectful!
I would leave. He said he doesn’t trust you. A relationship needs:
. Trust
. Communication
. Respect
. Honesty
As a foundation. He’s already saying that he doesn’t trust you, nor respect you (because that’s also what being someone’s next of kin/emergency contact is also about respect) and he didn’t communicate with you before hand and allow a discussion.
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Next of Kin is usually for a serious situation like death bed. Maybe he doesn’t trust that you’d do medically for him what he would want because your love would cloud your judgement? Definitely something to ask him further in depth of WHY he doesn’t trust you.
Medically speaking, if something were to happen and YOU had to be the one to make the decision to let him go or keep him on machines… what would you pick? What benefits you of keeping him around a “little” longer? Or letting him go without anymore suffering? Because MEDICALLY id want someone who wouldn’t have to HURT to make that kind of decision.
But that doesn’t mean his words aren’t hurtful… so ask. Speak up.
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Why is the trust broken
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Honestly, unless it is asked, I forget who I have as next of kin on things. I’ve been with my current husband for 7 years.
Okay but why doesn’t he trust you?
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I just read this to my 16yr old son… he says that’s a major red flag right there. I agree with him.
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All you woman sure love to rip apart men. Maybe she did or does stuff where she can’t be trusted. We don’t know all the facts, we know one side… Terrible advice most of you give.
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That would’ve been my cue to exit stage left because wtf
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Why are you with someone who doesn’t trust you? Cut the cord find someone who values you
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Give him back to her
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I think there might be things missing that we don’t know about. Usually if a person doesn’t trust you there is a reason. Have y’all talked about what if something happens (medically) what you would do or what his wishes are? Maybe the ex and him have had that conversation. I know it hurts but a conversation is needed in depth about why he doesn’t trust you. I wouldn’t go straight to divorce but I would want counseling and to find a way through it.
He doesn’t trust you for a reason🤷♀️ you need to take a step back and see what that is.
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Talk to him.ask him why?!?
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Well I’d be having a LOT more conversations about this and scheduling marriage counseling sessions to see where this goes. Only after that start making plans to stay or leave.
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Don’t sound right. Why be married to somebody who doesn’t trust you? Why would he have his ex as his next of kin?
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Do you think it is trauma from his past relationship? Does he have trust issues because of her? Maybe you guys need counseling. I can’t believe people tell you to just leave him, not knowing the full situation. Definitely see if he is open to counseling.
Fuck that. Then he should have stayed with his ex.
I would sit down and talk to him and see why he doesn’t trust.I cant give an opinion based from one side.
Talk to him and ask why he doesn’t trust you and tell him it hurts you.
this is bs on his part. she is the ex, see ya. out of our lives, no ifs and or buts.
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Next of kin to what??? Usually you would need power of attorney for medical decisions. You really need to sit down and talk about why he doesn’t trust you too. If my husband did that, he would have a bag packed outside the door waiting for him. With me, if there’s no trust then there’s just no love. There’s a difference if I don’t trust him to manage $$$ (but we talked about it and will make decisions together), but I trust him overall…
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Tell him to go back to his ex. He dont trust you. Divorce him. Ship him back
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My 1st thought is does he think you will let emotions get in the way of carrying out his wishes? Where as his ex won’t? Maybe it’s about saving you some pain. Or do you have different views about end of life situations and organ donation etc but his ex has the same views as him? But saying it as he doesn’t trust you sounds incredibly bad.
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I would be shocked and seriously reevaluate my relationship. If he doesn’t trust you then you probably shouldn’t be trusting him…
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Than it is time to go
That’s a huge 
If they have no kids, they have no ties and should have no contact. She’s an ex for a reason! It MIGHT be a different story if he had kids with his ex. Having her as a partial beneficiary for the kids would make sense.
My biggest question is WHY doesn’t he trust you? Was there an incident or something that happened that broke the trust in your marriage? If there wasn’t a scenario that broke the trust, then you have a whole other issue. You can try to seek counseling, but without trust, you have a broken marriage.
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I would feel similar because the ex is no longer next of kin. I would question why he doesn’t trust you. There is a reason and he should explain because if there is something he is misunderstanding or something about how you make decisions the situation may be able to be talked over for an easy solution. I would also question if your husband is friends with his ex then maybe he felt it best to let things as they were listing her. There is more for you to discover unless he was just being mean and if that is the case he should grow up and also apologize and name you as next of kin. You are invested in his life and with both your children ; if he doesn’t trust that counseling may be needed.
I would be having a heart to heart on why he doesn’t trust me. Having his ex as next of kin is a slap in the face. No way would I let this go. He needs to explain why.
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Marriage counseling for sure-at the very least.
You need to rethink everything about that relationship.
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I’m sorry but I don’t usually jump to conclusions but divorce pls
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I need to hear his side of the story before any answer to this.
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Ur w the wrong person, sumthin u knew b4 this incident…he doing to u what u allow him 2do
Then why did he marry you if he doesn’t trust you🤷🏽♀️
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That is just way to weird an not normal 
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Search within yourself for the underlying reason then have a discussion
No shared friends my ass. Take your place n go bye-bye
Maybe you could look up your date to the freshman dance and make him your trustee for your will and medical power of attorney, trust seems to be overrated at your house
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Leave him. And why did you have kids with that man?!
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Doesn’t trust you with his assets but trusts you with his children. That says enough
So he doesn’t trust you but he married you- is still with you- and fathered your children…
Ok
Time to say goodbye to him! I agree that’s a huge red flag!
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He definitely still has feelings for her. That’s nuts. I would never be ok with this situation. I’m sorry 
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I personally couldn’t stay in a relationship like that! I’d be so hurt id shut down and probably say" ok I need you to leave , maybe we can work on it but right now I need space " I’m not sure if this can be worked out I’m not in your marriage but those are some words I’d never be able to unhear and to me seem unforgivable. Because people in a relationship should trust each other. If there’s no trust between partners than what is there ? That statement is hinkey all around!
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Current Wife/husband always haves authority over next of kin.
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It is not normal, don’t let him tell you it is
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Some states the current spouse is automatic anyway. I was told for Kansas it is… so I put my Mom then my husband. Not out if disrespect mind you, but I have 2 kids that aren’t his… all my shit will go in trusts except for funeral pay out and whatever the spouses “share” is
Have you done something wrong in the past?
Maybe ask him why he doesn’t trust you? I think there is more to the story!
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So in most states “next of kin” would go directly to the spouse so even if his ex is listed they are no longer married.
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I have been with my husband for 8 years and married for 5. If he said something like that to me I would demand more detail about what he means by that. That’s an important conversation that needs to be had before you make any permanent decisions. Regardless that’s a very hurtful thing to say to your spouse and I’m very sorry he said that to you.
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Is there a reason he doesn’t trust you?
I could never stay with someone if they didn’t trust me.
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Instead of concentrating on being upset communicate, if he doesn’t trust you there’s a reason why. Talk about why and you both can most likely straighten it out. I know I trust NO ONE with my money, not even my husband nothing personal I just manage it the way I choose.
O no not going to happen let him when he with you .
very upsetting with a right to be,Ive been married 52 years and wouldnt have it,Im sorry this has happened,work it out now before its to late!
If he doesn’t trust you, then why the heck are you guys married? You need to think things out my dear… why on earth would you want to be married with 2 sons and the person you’re suppose to TRUST the most along side of you straight to your face tells you “I don’t trust you!?
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since you say he has always been mine do I take it you where the thief or the 3rd person in there marriage? Anyways that’s sad hope things improve
Whata heck. But he trusts her, that doesn’t make sense.
Wow! Grab your children, birth certificates and take all his light bulbs and get outta dodge!
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Sweet girl, I’m going through the same thing. It makes me feel like I will never be enough. I’m just a replacement for the family his first family who he couldn’t make things work with. My kids and I take a back seat to his ex wife and his adult children and we are treated as dirt beneath their feet. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. You are definitely in my thoughts. We are ENOUGH!
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Wow now thats NOT right! Also why is he keeping ties with his EX??
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Well why doesn’t he though? Thats the question. If he doesn’t “just cuz” thats one thing. If he doesn’t because of a legitimate reason, like you cheated, stole, constantly lying, then thats a different story.
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So why tf he marry you then
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Let her pull the plug on him when he’s dying in hospital. 
I would pack up his shit and show him the front door with rose petals
Please try some marriage counseling. 
Im sorry but my husband said its cus there still having sex there has to be more going on then you knw if u dont have trust you dont have nothing sorry honey but walk away from him theres better ppl out there for you.
I hate you having to put up with his crap. It’s sad. You are better and you are enough.Leave his ass and let his ex wife take care of everything. Do not ever take a back seat for any other woman leave him.
Gtfo of there. That’s bs.
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I’m so sorry, she is probably on his Life Insurance policy as beneficiary. You really need to keep an open eye and your head up. I believe legally you have authority over her if anything were to happen. Check with a lawyer for your own sake.
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Next of kin on what? Medical, life insurance, work…? If it’s medical maybe it’s because they’re like minded on medical decisions. Ie, DNR, organ donation etc. Maybe he feels she will abide by his wishes where you emotionally couldn’t? It doesn’t matter who he has listed. Since you’re married you are legally his next of kin (followed by parents, adult children, siblings etc). She can’t sign anything or make any decisions. You override everything. I know this because my mom tried listing my aunt & cousin on her living will instead of me. She didn’t do it against me. I’m too emotional to make those decisions. Anyway she was DNR. It was filed in the hospital, signed by lawyers etc. It still had to verbally enforced by NOK. I told my aunt to do it. The Dr went through the order. Husband, deceased. Parents, deceased. Children, me. He then told me I was NOK. It doesn’t matter who’s name is on the paper. That’s all to make you think you have a say when you can’t say I guess. I had to verbally tell the Dr to “pull the plug”. Saying “do not use artificial means to keep her alive” was the worst 2 seconds of life The same would happen in your husband’s case. He may be trying to save you from that horrible decision. But when he asks if they’re legally married & she lies she can be prosecuted for misrepresentation. It will come down to you. You’ll wish then it didn’t.
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BIG red flag … get out
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If he doesnt trust you I wouldnt continue the martiage that is a juge red flag and you and you kids need to vanish away from that and only contact through lawyers to arrange custody stuff
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My baby daddy is always an emergency contact. If it’s call emergency contact time I need him to know because we have a kid together and he’s gonna need to arrange someone to get her that day because I obviously won’t be able to. I hate that asshole, but we coparent so if something happens and I can’t call myself, I need him to know for our daughter
Soo is he your soon to be ex husband or …… cuz baby no jus no…
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Strange I thought if there were married a long time and had adult children
Trust you with what? His money? His home ? The children? What will you get? Ask him. What will your children get? Will you have a home after he’s gone? Why work hard for your family and they don’t get anything in the end? What’s going to happen to all of you when he’s gone? Do you need to find a job and start saving?
These are just a few suggested question’s to ask him. God bless.
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I would definitely look into that past relationships and honestly question yours with him !!! Not ok not even slightly if that what he seriously said I would be packing 
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Yea, that wouldn’t work for me. He would either remove her from it, or he can get served with divorce papers.
I’m sorry, but there’s no love without trust, and I wouldn’t trust a man who would put his ex before me as his next of kin.
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Bullish!t this has to be made up lol
No trust=no relationship. Time to move on. What he says of you has more to with him than it does you. I believe he’s in a relationship with her…
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