I had a baby 6 months ago and my husband said something very hurtful to me and idk how to move past it…i was always a pretty small girl until i got pregnant and when i did get pregnant i geained about 50lbs going from 130 to 180…since i gave birth i have had a hard time losing weight and my husband made a comment about my lower stomach and how a crop top looked on me…he also compared me to his ex girlfriend who just gave birth around the same time that I did and she lost all her weight and is back to “Normal” this made me feel so bad about myseld and now i find myself being self consience anytime i am undressed around him…hwo do I move past this?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband made a comment about my weight: Advice?
Your husband is being a jerk… Remind him that he helped you get pregnant
Tell him to fuck off. Tell him to have a baby and bounce back. Tell him stop comparing your genes to hers they aren’t the same, and then he can sleep in the nursery and be the mother then.
Throw the whole man away
What a terrible thing to do to you. I’m sorry.
Ashle. Remind him about all the changes YOUR body went through to create such an amazing gift for HIM. Men don’t seem to realise how much changes physically, hormonally and mentally we go through. There is no time frame in losing any weight, and even if you don’t go back to his ‘normal’ still be freaking proud. You grew a WHOLE HUMAN. You’re amazing !!
Kick him to the curb, how gross
Eww keep away from that it gets worse i mean yes try to lose your tummy so YOU can feel back to normal but all that other sh!t is exesive you just had a child its not so simple
I say ditch the guy
Is he slim or what is his weight ? Start making comments on his weight or the way he looks. Let’s see how he likes that.
Well he was rude and hurtful and you should let him know how he made you feel.
You don’t… U move past him!!
Screw him let him have a baby
- How the hell he know what’s his ex is doing and how she looks
- Love yourself because you brought life to this world
- He is a d*ck
Why does he know how quick the ex lost weight??
Wanna lose weight? Lose him ask him what the hell he did to bring that baby In the world
Tell him you could lose a bunch of weight overnight by dumping his ass.
He should be so proud of you giving him a child.
Keeping you on your toes ……… as if you didn’t already know you’ve gained weight. They can be so damned mean
First off only worry what you think and how you feel about your body is what matters.
Me personally after becoming a mom I did not wear crop tops because I viewed what I wore differently from a moms point of view and how I wanted to he looked at.
I can tell you how to drop about 180 pounds instantly!
Since he likes to compare, I’d compare penis’ with an ex.
There’s a thing called cortisol…it’s a stress hormone I think but it can be a cause of weight gain.
If it wasn’t for his mouth and ugliness would u be ok with it. Don’t let that jerk dull ur shine.
He is a straight jerk.
You tell him that your body just formed a small human and you don’t just bounce back to being “normal.”
Some have medical conditions, on medications, birth control, etc reasons for being different sizes.
You are taking care of a baby full time and if you decide to loose weight, let it be for yourself not for someone else.
I was 130 and I’m 170 now, I’ve been trying so hard to loose weight and have only lost 11 lbs and it’s been months. You don’t loose weight instantly and for some it’s harder than others and that’s okay!
Sounds like he’s a real a$$! Tell him he’s in charge of purchasing and prepping all of your meals 3 times a day. He’ll feel bad soon enough.
1st question, do you have an issue with your weight? No, then tell him you like the way you are, yes then don’t be mad at you husband.
- If you don’t care of your self , you husband is there too help you.
I don’t know your life style and our how you run your marriage and how you all talk to each other.
Male point of view, my wife also went from 98 lbs to 150, I let her go a year and had a talk with her about her weight. I was polite and understanding, but she also didn’t like her weight. We decided TOGETHER that steps need to be taken.
Reason listed below
Extra weight will slow you down ( baby’s don’t , infact they grow up quick )
You need all the money you have right now to supply need for your baby ( it’s not about you 2 any more ) gotta spend more money on more clothes for you to fit in
When you get married your to be OPEN with each other. ( It’s a smack in the face when we try to explain issues no MATTER what they are )
I told my with this as a joke ( of there’s zombie apocalypse and we gotta run and your fat and can’t someone gotta save the child , Andi can’t push her fat but up over a finger or into a window, sorry but you’re get eaten.
Remember when you were married you are too talk out your problems issues or anything else that you have going on in your marriage It’s called communication and that’s a lot of things that are issues and a relationship why they don’t work out. I understand you got offended but I am sure that you have mentioned stuff to him that it offended him. You got to talk things out. If you truly love him you will sit down and have a discussion about it.
Tell him he is an insensitive ass and this is your new normal he can either like it or leave it.
Sounds like a narcissist 2 me
Kick his ass to the curb, that’s yuck
OK and? Why are you sitting here explaining yourself ma’am and the reasoning why you believe he said what he said… Clearly it’s affected you I’m not sure what you’re wanting advice about… Don’t be so hard on yourself you’re over here justifying why he asked you that or whatever he said I could care less ma’am you had a baby six months ago and whatever he said clearly affected you don’t be so insecure. If you knew better you would tell him don’t worry about it I know somebody that likes it and it was just stunned as ice right then and there and Promise you that shit wouldn’t happen again… All that explanation technical circumstances that everybody’s telling you to tell him about he could care less about. Men are￼ Visual features and come for a place of logical thinking we come from a place of emotional￼ Thinking so we feel like we have to explain ourselves no ma’am you just nip that shit right in the bud and say what I told you to say and it will be so blindsidingly upside his head that I promise you he wouldn’t know what to say forget all the exclamations stop he he knows just as well as you know that you just had a baby he’s not trying to hear all that￼
If he gonna say that shit to you there’s no telling what he would say to your child. Leave now before what he says can effect them
Easiest way to loose the extra weight, get rid of your boyfriend. Love does not see size
He’s a idiot! What does he think!!!
Tell him how his pee pee isn’t big enough anymore lol seriously tho that was mean off him
I would make up some bologna. Well the transfer of the male sperm can alter a woman’s body, looks like she lucked out & her new man gave her the skinny gene. Meanwhile I’m stuck with the fat one from you who is clearly a genetic failure. Research it sometime. That’s what I’d say but
That d—k !
How dare he!
You don’t move past it. You leave. To me, that is the height of disrespect and can not be tolerated. That’s the father of your child(ren). THAT’S who you wanna do life with?!
Talk to him. Tell him how every woman is different. Tell him how his comments made you feel…but you NEED to talk to him…
Or you can be a petty bitch and tell him that his dick is small enough that it barely touched the sides before you had bub and you’re worried that if he doesn’t do anything about it, you’ll need a dick like your ex boyfriend has, so you can enjoy sex properly.
Now, I’m all for being a petty bitch but if it’s a relationship you want to last, talk to him
He’d be my Ex husband. That’s disgusting!
He’s a pathetic small man. Hate that he did this to you.
Move past him. Don’t ever settle for someone that talks about you like this and then have the audacity to compare you to an ex. You deserve someone that will love all of you.
That’s definitely messed up. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve always been a big girl, but mine decided to get drunk tonight and tell me I had shoulders like a linebacker. So … I feel you.
All husband Say it . My said lot but I think he right I have put on and I know feel it . I think about going to gym but I get bad feelings if people going to look at me or I do some think dump . I now walking in morning but I know it’s not doing much . I know I put lot on this why I do not go out or dress up . I all be size 8 or 10 befor kids now size 18 . I try to find gym but ever time I try I will make up some think say I to busy . My partner said he what to see me live long and look after my self not get sick . I know he just say it because he love me . Some time people we love will tell ask the true
That’s awful. I don’t think you can move past something so harsh
Girl. Call him out! Tell him what all these other mamas are saying to you. You deserve way better.
Leave. Lol I hate that that is everyone’s advice, people will telll you to leave and still be with their trash partners
I say, talk to him. Because I feel like most guys don’t realize what they say is hurtful, and don’t usually mean it how they said it. Lol
So I say talk to him about it, and if he doesn’t apologize or understand the situation.
and tell him, he is chubby and his ex gfs man didn’t put on any weight
Someone who loves you wouldn’t be that mean
Personally id tell him to fck off and remind him who carried and grew his child. If hes that bothered he can jog back to his ex. Hate men that do this. Unless hes sitting there looking like jason mamoa then hes got a damn cheek xx please dont put pressure on yourself hunni your body takes time to adjust qnd enjoy your new gorgeous baby and everything about it xxx
I’m sorry nothing will make you move past it. Even if you lose it. Words my hub said to me about my weight still circle my mind daily 2 years on. Maybe that’s just me tho considering my weight is my biggest insecurity
That sounds like he is not a very nice guy.
Tell him to carry a baby around for 9 months , then try and loose the weight
Yes some women bounce back
But most don’t
You said his ex gave birth the same time
Is he the father of both kids
Tell him to go back to his normal size ex girlfriend then he sounds a pig
Don’t compare yourself to anyone. And don’t let him do it either. Everyone takes different amounts of time to heal after giving birth, and every birth can be different for each person too. You definitely need to talk to him and explain how that made you feel. I’ve given birth to 8 whole kids and each of my births has left my body in a different state. My 8th baby, my body bounced back pretty well and I was shocked because it didn’t do that after my 7th. I actually weigh less after having our 8th child than I did prior to getting pregnant with her (after my 7th). Your body just grew and birthed a whole human. Your body is going to be different and that is completely okay. It took almost a whole year to grow and birth that tiny human, give yourself atleast twice that to fully heal!!! And don’t expect it to be the same again even then. Don’t let him expect it to be the same again either!!!
How does he know abt the ex…smh!!! Lose 180+(him)
That’s awful, my ex husband used to call me fat to mg face before and after I had our 2 boys. My current husband calls me beautiful all the time before and after I had our 2 year old son and 17 month old daughter but I don’t believe him half the time because my ex down graded me so much I hate my body. Just because you gained weight after your baby doesn’t mean you are still not the woman he married. Also comparing you to his ex who had a baby sounds like he wants you to be like her, hun be yourself if he doesn’t like it then you need to leave. I’m always having trouble losing weight I’ve tried everything.
Tell him someone a real man will appreciate you no matter and he’s not the one then someone out there will love and appreciate you just the way you are
The only way you can move past this is to throw the whole husband in the bin!
The bigger question is why is he keeping tabs on his ex?
I understand you just had a baby with this “man” but that’s not a good enough reason to stay where you aren’t happy or respected
Are you breastfeeding? That helps shrink things.
Tell him you’ll get back to your pre-baby weight when he gives you $20,000 for a “Mommy Makeover” at the plastic surgeon’s. Thats usually how women get fabulous figures after childbirth.
Almost no one’s body is the same after giving birth. Maybe have your OB talk to him about body changes after birth.
And next time he makes a crack about your weight OR his ex, give him a good smack upside the head, if not for yourself, for me.
That’s not fair. Some women can lose baby weight, but a lot more have a problem with it for life. I know. I’m one of them. Tell him that what he said wasn’t right or fair. Then concentrate on taking care of and bonding with your baby. That’s what’s important at this point. Eat healthy and drink lots of water. Before you know it, that baby will be on the move and you’ll be getting your fair share of exercise. Hang in there, Honey.
Not all women “bounce back” , it took me two years to get back to my pre pregnancy weight and that was after having two kids back to back , you’re still recovering from a huge thing for our bodies to go through , as for his ex I can garuntee you she probably feels the same about her weight too , just because some women can snap back quickly they still are t fully happy with how their bodies now look , call him out and tell him how you feel it’s beyond unfair and hurtful on you , our bodies are amazing and it has just done a incredible thing by giving you and him your child , he should be grateful for that , I’d love to see him go through all that and still look like the Greek god he clearly thinks he is
Learn to love yourself.
We didn’t born to always please the men. Stay healthy for you and baby. Make sure you eat enough to feed two people. Don’t starve yourself for him. You are now a mother and of course your body changed alot.
Tell him to go grow a baby an see if his body goes back to normal where not all build the same not everyone loses it fast
You can’t help what your body does during and after pregnancy! Plus it’s bloody hard work making a baby and giving birth and not to mention how busy you get afterwards.
I went back to my original weight after I had my son and I didn’t even try but where as my friend didn’t, even though she worked out like crazy!
I honestly think it comes down to genetics and nothing to do with anything we can help.
He needs to show more respect to someone who just had to but their entire body on the line to birth his child!
Why would he care about his ex, she didn’t have his baby he needs to grow up!
You deserve much more than someone like that!
Dump your husband and find a man who appreciates the fact that you just sacrificed your body to carry his offspring!!!
Some people are genetically lucky to spring back into shape after having a baby,most people do not.Remind your husband you have brought his baby into this world only recently and it’s a known fact it takes a woman’s body at least 18 months to return to normal after pregnancy.If he is that rude and wants a model wife stick thin and looks like they haven’t just given birth I’d be telling him your comments have hurt you he shouldn’t of said it and if that’s how HE feels then he’s lucky to have the 1 child with you as he’s made you feel so bad about yourself that he won’t be getting any more,see how he feels then. xxxx
Every woman’s body is different.
(She might also be using Spanx, ijs…)
Men (in general) have been taught this toxic idea that women should be there to turn them on and anything else is laziness bordering on Sloth.
You are perfect.
HE needs to get over himself, but to be honest…I would leave him. It doesn’t matter now if he has a full reversal, you will always doubt and wonder and never feel as fully loved and yourself in his presence. I spent…too long…in denial about this; him “loving you” isn’t enough after something like this…
Love you more.
Find a partner who has realistic body expectations for you.
U can’t especially if ur husband said so talk to him and tell him how it makes u feel, one doesn’t just go back to ur normal body weight after a baby everyone is different and I’m sure his not perfect himself if he says those nasty things tell him to look at his own nasty ass tell him his dckis smaller than ur ex and see how he feels
It’s hard to loose weight after a baby… this guy is stupid. I hate men they think it’s easy having a kid… I’m sorry.
To move past this is to work on yourself. Noone can hurt you the way you can hurt yourself. I haven’t loss my weight either. Everywoman is built different for a reason. You can choose to dwell on his words and let it hurt you or you can choose to work on yourself. Im sure you can get 30 mins to put a yoga video on YouTube and do it while baby is asleep. This will help jump your metabolism again. Work on you. Your not living and breathing to make other people happy.
But more than half of you guys are single… This is probably why you’re single because you cannot take positive or negative criticism from a man that you’re supposed to be 100% honest with. Till death do you part sickness and health for richer or poorer. Maybe some of you females forgot that is a two-way street and communication is the key for a happy marriage. You’re supposed to be open with each other no matter what it is hurtful or not but your big girl pants on and if you have an issue talk to him about it but. People have become too soft. Get their feelings hurt really easy. But I tell you one thing I’ve been married for 20 years to my wife. From day one before we were even married we were open with each other because that’s how our relationship works. All you females out here tell them her to drop him to leave him You guys are the ones that are single why would she listen to you? Obviously you didn’t do something right because you’re single. I hope her and her husband can talk this out like adults, cuz the bottom line is you brought a new person into this world and all three of you have to be happy for it to work.a lot of you ain’t going to like it because it’s from a male point of view but I give my unbiased decision on everything that I read.
Disgusting. I would’ve been on the way to my attorney after he mentioned his ex (wtf?!).
Also btw I’m sure you are beautiful and even if you don’t see it, others do… maybe minus your husband because clearly he’s a disgusting JERK.
Before kids I was a size 3, 130 pounds
1st kid: topped out at 180 pounds, size 10/12 pants, L/XL top
2nd kid: same as first…. Only dropped to 155 before I started gaining baby weight because I thought working out was actually working but little did I know for MONTHS that I was actually pregnant and my body was burning that other weight before putting it back on
After kids, unless they have a magical shrink machine for your pelvic bones and your ribcage, I’m 155, size 6/8, and a M/L on top size
My point is we’re all different. When we have kids our bodies change permanently, some more than others. I had NO IDEA that after the first kid that your hips still widen MORE(!!!) with each child you have hahaha. My husband had no idea that when he went into his 30’s his body doesn’t bounce back every spring/summer the way it used to. His winter hibernation weight is still hanging on there but I’m not going to say anything because I love him, I think it’s cute that his belly enters the room before the rest of him , and I’m not a douche…. Like your husband. He should go back to his ex then. There are TONS of men out there who love and appreciate women no matter what changes our bodies are going through, you should dump him at his ex’s doorstep and go find you one of them.
Horrible.keep an strong eye on other red flags.you don’t need this
How tall are you, just want to see how " over weight you are…were you super thin at 130 lbs.
He would no longer be my husband.
So what your saying is hes ex already figured out he was an ass hole!
His an Ass. Everyone else’s body is different and unique in their own ways.
Communicate with him about how it made you feel especially when he brought up his ex ( who has a different body shape).
He’s just being a typical man… Some of them don’t know about feelings
tell him to have a baby and then open his mouth and comparing you to his ex, not acceptable at all…
Tell him suck a bag of dirty dicks and he can go be w his ex… everyone’s baby weigh is not the same don’t be so hard on urself… cause trust me what he don’t like another man will LOVE IT!!! He better chill out you have options believe that
You don’t work on moving past this… you acknowledge that it was a problematic comment and down right rude. He should be the one working towards gaining your trust and comfort again. 6 months is not that long, and losing weight is even harder when you’re now dealing with low self esteem from his careless remarks.
I went from 115 to 180 lbs (yes I absolutely can’t blame the baby; so much as the stress eating and severe cravings)…. Had Irish twins (back to back pregnancies) and lost the weight within 3 months. With my third pregnancy went from 125 to 170s and it’s taken 2 years to get the weight down.
Every person, body, and pregnancy is not the same! Rushing to return to prepregnancy shouldn’t be on your list of concerns… the first year alone is basically just survival mode. Be “lazy” if that’s what your body and mind needs or work out if that makes you feel better… but it’s not a race, there is no time limit, and he shouldn’t be making you feel like you’re in competition with anyone else in any capacity!
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Knock him out with talk like that rude c…t
Men don’t change we understand womens feeling more as we get older so he has most likely been a jerk befor and you just havnt notice it
Tell him to kick rocks and leave. Disturbing he’d say that SIX MONTHS after you birthed a whole human, takes up to a year for your body to adjust hormones back etc.
I have a friend who was Size Zero about a week after giving birth. Us normal people usually end up a little heavier. Once your baby is crawling, the weight will start coming off. I did what I called The Wiggles programme. Eat healthily and dance along to all those pre-school shows (I lost ten pounds dancing to The Wiggles!) Remember she’s his ex, remember he married you and tell him to stop being an arseington.
He’s is a$$ . I would never do that . Bringing a life into this world is hard. You do what yiu feel is best. You don’t deserve to be treated bad ever…
Unfortunately I don’t think you will move past it because you will always be thinking that in the back of your mind now when it’s time to be intimate or when it’s time to get dressed up and go out, you’ll always be feeling insecure now, even if you lose weight. Also, why the hell does he know so well what is ex is doing? Something similar happened to me & I didn’t know it would at the time but it turned in to the biggest turn off. So even after weight was lost & all that, I could no longer be attracted to him because he had been cruel to me. Just a big turn off. These things are hard to get over for women and they are often a precursor to other rude behavior to come. Please prioritize yourself.
I have 4 kids! My youngest is 4 and still haven’t lost my baby weight I was a size 10 uk before all of them but am not a 16 uk size I hate it but I gave all my babies a healthy happy home and that’s all that matters
At least he’s trying to be honest with you.
The things he is saying to you are not okay
It took me 6 years to lose the weight to my 1st baby. As soon as I lost it I got pregnant again and gained it all back. I was devastated. But I wish I could be 180. I’ve only lost 20lbs from having my son in 3 months. I already know it’s gonna take a long time to lose the rest. if my husband compared me to his ex we would be having alot of issues.
Hope he looks like Chris hemsworth, otherwise probably should keep his mouth firmly in the closed position about your body. Not that I think he has any right to say anything even if he does btw
He’s a piece of shit. He needs to be more supportive and not compare you to his ex. Me I would get back at my husband if he said that to me by making a reference like he’s not as big as my ex see how he bloody liked it. That would shut him up. You have had a baby and probably still putting babies needs first, what you need to do is do something for you. Leave the husband with bubs and go walking with a friend or gym 4 times a week what ever takes your fancy.
Next time he pulls his penis out make sure to remind him ur ex was bigger🙄
It took me 8 years to loose my weight. After my 3rd I started exercising a year ago. Don’t push yourself. You just had a baby. You need proper food and nourishment for yourself and baby. Ignore what your husband says. If you feel good about yourself, that’s all that matters. What you think about yourself matters. That’s all
Losing baby weight is such a struggle, especially if you have a csection and you are left with droopy/sagging skin. The fact that he not only made a comment about your weight that soon after having a baby, and BROUGHT UP his EX, is disgusting. It took me almost 4 years after having my csection to even start to notice a small change in my stomach. That’s with almost 3 years of working a very physically demanding job, and keeping up with my son. I was active, even busted my ass as a package handler at FedEx, and it was barely a noticeable change.
Your husband needs to be more compassionate and less of an asshole. Its not easy carrying, birthing, and raising kids. We hardly have time for ourselves, how the fuck do we work out on top of it?
i would never be with anyone who made a comment about my weight! thats horrible. this is why women are so insecure and want the ‘perfect’ image because of comments like that.
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My ex would tell me I was the fattest girl in the room. He used it to control me and my confidence. Note he is my ex.