I am struggling with my husband. We’ve been together going on seven years. We’re both young. He no longer compliments me, even when I dress up. He won’t communicate with me anymore…I understand some people just have a hard time opening up, but he never used to. We have two small children. He gets home from work, eats dinner…gets very clearly annoyed when I talk to him too much but would never ACTUALLY say it. When I cry in front of him about how I’m struggling in our relationship because the problem has never been my lack of love for him, I adore him…he gets annoyed tells me that nothing wrong, and he doesn’t want to talk about why I’m upset. Then other times, he’ll come home from work in a good mood and tells me he loves me, etc… but it’s so inconsistent, and most of the time, he acts as i bother him. I don’t know if this is just how relationships get or what…sometimes I’m afraid he wants to leave but will never have the balls.
I am sorry love. You are beautiful <3
It’s sounds like depression and he needs to seek some medical help:/ I’m sorry that’s rough
Your over thinking, he dosent have to be lovvy dovvy every single day.
Been with my hubby for almost 22 years. This is normal behavior with small children. Take it day by day. Don’t over analyze him. Guys are more simple than us women think (from experience).
My husband does the same except he’s never communicated except when dating, never compliments me, and literally says he doesn’t care when I cry. I feel you
You know that it isn’t really his decision to make, right? You are intelligent, beautiful, and kind based on this post. YOU CHOOSE what is best for you. If you love him and you are unhappy, you make the choice. You don’t have to wait around for him to choose to stay or go.
Same hes always downing me for something
Compliment him. Tell him thank you. Even if it’s just hey thank you for being in my life or thank you for hanging up your towel after you took a shower.
I don’t know your religious views, but if you don’t mind some talk about praying and God I highly suggest looking up naked marriage with Dave and Ashley Willis.
If you feel like this majority of the time then I would up and leave for a bit. If nothing gets even the slightest bit better leave for good
If he isn’t even willing to talk about the issues in the relationship why stay with him? He obviously doesn’t care enough to understand why’re you’re hurting, or try to make you happy. It’s normal to have bad days in a relationship. It’s not normal or ok what he’s doing. Be with someone who cares how they make you feel. You should never have to beg someone who supposedly loves you to show they love you.
Is he the only one working? He might be experiencing burn out and depression. Men go through this a lot but hardly know how to communicate it.
I know how that feels. I’m sorry 
Is his job stressful or does he not enjoy it? A lot of times my fiancé comes home from work and just takes his frustrations out on me and he doesn’t even realize it.
I feel this 100%. Idk the answer
Seems like a situation that my moms is going threw and at this point we already know what was my moms husband problem! He was cheating on her for very long time , also he’s left the other women and stayed with my mom but still hasn’t chance he still cold ass hell with her never compliments her he’s just not interested in my mom nomore only there for they’re kids they have
Mine started doing that it turned out he was cheating
Your not overthinking clearly hes acting like he dont care like who the hell wants to be with someone who gets irritated everytime you try to communicate even if its after work like damn bro
My ex did all these things. He was sleeping with a co-worker n was an alcoholic porn addict.
The fact you feel that he doesn’t have the balls to leave you…sounds like part of the problem. Also talking at him isn’t going to help you. Ladies…8 out of 10 men will tell you they would rather be/feel respected than be told/feel like they are loved. Us women are the exact opposite…but for us part of us feeling love is apart of being respected. If I was him…I wouldn’t feel respected AT ALL based on the last sentence of this. I’m sorry you feel hurt BUT what you’re doing ain’t working.
Girl going thru something so similar its crazy this will be our 8th year together ladies We put up with to much like keri hilson EVERY WOMAN GOT A BRAKING POINT
Going through this same thing. I have communicated on more than one occasion about how it’s tearing me apart but nothing changes. Sometimes it will for a day or two but really this has been ongoing for about 2 or 3 years now. I’m over it. I wish I had an answer for you.
Just do you for a while. I know it’s hard and it may seem a bit cold but in my experience, I think the more independent minded you are, the less you look to him for validation or attention, you become stronger and can handle whatever life throws at you. I’m not saying give up (yet) but just do you for a while.
You shouldn’t have to put up with this. I suggest you get
Professional counseling.
Mine sometimes does this. I tell him he is being rude and grumpy and I’m not talking to him until he decides to be nice. He usually apologizes everyone has a bad day but when that’s all they have with you I would feel as if something else is going on.
Make him feel appreciated and cater to him especially if he’s the only one working. Make his lunch fill his water bottle for the day, sweet texts, little things like that go a long way. Greet him when he comes home, house picked up, kids not yelling. He wants a calm place to come home to after a hectic day.
It could be burn out. I have always given my husband about a half hour to an hour to unwind when he gets home. Sometimes he doesn’t wanna be bombarded with shit when they first get home. Let him relax first. Also. Treat him how you would like to be treated. Do the things to him. You want him to do for you. Good lucj
You may want to get and read “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and “Personality Plus” by Florence Littauer. Both books are eye openers in how we are different and why we do the things we do and why we feel unloved when we aren’t getting the responses we need from others esp our spouses.
It may be stress. My husband came home completely drained, mentally and physically, when he was at a job he hated. It affected our relationship too cuz he didn’t have anything left for me.
You also get what you give. I tell my husband he’s sexy, grab his butt randomly, and tell him to “kiss me and tell me I’m pretty.” He does the same back in his own way
Men are just mostly useless:joy:
like stated above you need to find some independence first. Marriage is super hard. Not everyday is gonna be rainbows and butterflies. If you love him and he loves you it will work out. Find something u both like to do and do the shit out of it. Have sex or intimate time when ever you can. If you have young kids routine is key even when it comes to ur husband. But you are your own person and it seems like you might just be anxious. I’m not a doctor, but I am a wife and a mother and it takes work you can do this!
I just went through the same thing. Found out about a month and a half ago he was cheating on me… so there’s that
The problem is you care too much about what’s going on with him. Start putting all the attention towards him and redirect to yourself. Take care of yourself. Take a night class or pottery or something you can do by yourself. I’m not saying don’t care for him but you are worth so much and don’t deserve to feel that way. Sometimes we as women take on so many roles without being asked or discussed. We martyr ourselves into roles and then resent our husbands for it and they have no clue of why we feel the way we feel. Don’t shed anymore tears and learn to live your life beside your husband, not for him. Giving him the key to how you feel about yourself is a weakness that we need to take back and figure out how to change that feeling into a strength. It’s a huge burden to be responsible for making someone else feel worthy and happy. If we can’t make ourselves feel that way, what makes us think our husbands should do it.
Is he cheating? been through it and that’s what it sounds like may be happening.
It could be a rough patch. Perhaps a date night? Re-connect n’ remember why you guys chose each other. Life can fall into a slump, work, bills, stress, home, sleep n’ do it all over again. Hang in there, relationship take work n’ 2 ppl who truely wanna be together
Sounds like you need to get a life for you… once you do things for yourself, he will start to appreciate you more
Well you’re both young, it won’t change, just leave, it only gets worse. 
I went through the same exact thing after 15 years he quit communication all with me went to someone else to talk to yes another woman broke my heart he says she was just a friend but that friend ended up living in my house and my husband leaving me …
Look up the 7 year itch
When they tell u nothing is wrong it’s all a lie
Counseling for you both. If he won’t go, go by yourself. Also, sounds like his work is draining and frustrating and he needs to decompress a lot at the end of the day. Ask about what his dream job would be and see if his expression changes.
Can y’all schedule a relaxing vacation, even just a weekend away without the kids so you can both relax and enjoy each other? Even dinner out & a night in a hotel just to get out of your rut.
Maybe he’s feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities, or feeling like he has to do a job he hates just for the money. Are you working outside the home? If not, could you do something small now to contribute to finances and/or offer to get a decent job once the kids are in school? If he looks relieved, that’s his problem.
Call his doc and get her/him to call hubs in for a depression screening. Men never want to appear “weak,” but identifying problems and getting treatment can make a huge difference.
Maybe ask him straight up if he’s seeing another woman & watch his reaction.
Realize you are responsible for your own happiness & do whatever is in your power to make you feel good. Buy yourself flowers, get a mirror or plaque that says what a beautiful, awesome woman you are!
Stop asking him what’s wrong. Stop worrying about how he feels. Stop putting the focus on him and focus on you!! When he realizes the attention is not on him anymore and you’re doing things that make you happy he may come around. 
Well, I definitely hope that most of these women are wrong & that he’s NOT cheating… bc I wouldn’t want to put that hurt on anyone… but, there IS obviously something wrong. Well maybe wrong isn’t the correct answer… maybe more like something isn’t all the way right with him right now. I know some people think it’s taboo and men especially don’t like to talk about their feelings, moods & emotions, but honestly it sounds to me like he is having mood swings in a Bi-Polar ish sense. Like I said people, mostly men think that these mental health issues are a “woman” thing and that our hormones are the main contributor… I don’t know if he would even be open to an evaluation or meeting with a counselor… I wouldn’t be surprised if he said no… not because he doesn’t love you… it’s just that men and women are different. My husband is the best man I’ve ever known, he compliments me all the time, does sweet things & makes me feel beau and wanted all the time. I can feel it, I just know he loves me & I honestly have no doubts about what he is doing when I’m around… you deserve this too. Coming from someone who has had the complete opposite before in a previous relationship (that was not about cheating) I will tell you it’s emotionally and mentally draining to try and figure out the problem and end the constant ups and downs. Start looking at yourself and seeing your beauty and your inner self. I know it’s so nice to hear that stuff from the person we love, but maybe you have low self esteem. If you don’t think highly enough of yourself, then he prob figures… why should I bother. I hope that doesn’t seem snarky, I was honestly saying that I hope you find more love for yourself not justified or that doesn’t need to be justified by him, who knows maybe once he sees how comfortable you are in your own skin, how much of a burden has been lifted and how you seen to just be enjoying life instead of letting his moods and lack of emotion & connection ruins your mood & happiness daily. Remember we can’t expect anyone to love and appreciate us if we don’t first love & appreciation ourselves… you are one of a kind, a unique creation and a loving and caring woman. You have a lot to offer it seems so try to get yourself to a level of not needing his acceptance and affection to be complete. Be cautious though, you could go down this road and realize that your confidence & well being in general seems to be better when you are doing you & are not focused on him… you might just realize that you aren’t the same 2 people that fell in love those years ago. HOWEVER, I pray that this is just a phase that your relationship is going through and I really hope if it continues that he will seek or at least entertain the idea of mental health help. Hang in there.
he may be stressed out at work. somedays he may hv a good day while other days he has a bad day. so dont stress him out more thn he already is
Does he have any mental health issues?
Men have cycles too. But they don’t bleed, so it’s harder to understand when it’s happening.
Sounds like some visits to a marriage councilor might be helpful.
That’s a problem , mine still compliments me and encourages me after 11 years ,
If he’s not changing for u then , I say throw in the towel , woman need to feel loved too
If he don’t worship u , move on
My ex said this is just me, I won’t change, I left eventually, emotional cripple. It’s like unrequited love, heartbreaking. Youre better off on your own than waiting around for some sought of acknowledgement.
Before you ju.p the gun and dip or accuse of anything.
Try counseling together, see where you can get a middle ground
Maybe he’s depressed, maybe he doesn’t know
He might not be feeling he’s not getting what he needs to but won’t communicate.
If he’s working in and out, maybe he’s burnt.
I’m just saying there’s many possibilities
I hope it gets better
Relationships have ups and downs
If you find your self in this situation don’t just throw it In , try counciling
No one has done anything particularly wrong you have just got too comfy with each other
Have a chat about finding the romance again
1 day a week do something where you don’t have your phones and you just talk to one another about what you love about eachother
Iv been with my husband for almost 8 years … I am almost 25
We are expecting our 3rd child
We have had times where I just felt like we were living together not actually I a relationship
You both have to come together and way we actually do love eachother and need to make one another feel good
We have 1 night a week where we do a seeperate dinner for the kids put them to bed , we cook a meal we love together, we snuggle up, we pick a cheesy movie on TV and we just talk to eachother
Life can get in the way , it has to be a 2 way effort xx
I was married for 30 years before my husband died I got one compliment
Look up narcissistic characteristics. He may me a narcissist and that is his nature and will never change.
If he don’t want to talk, leave it alone. It doesn’t sound like there is a problem in your relationship. It sounds more like maybe he’s tired and don’t feel like talking sometimes. As far as the compliments, it sounds like maybe y’all have gotten to a point that doesn’t need the constant reassurance that a new relationship needs. You know you look good, he knows you look good. It doesn’t always have to be said.
I don’t know…I like getting compliments in even long term relationships…genuine ones though…and I am very confident. Also it’s respectful to take time to listen to concerns from your partner. Acting annoyed as long as someone is reasonable is not very loving. Y’all are spending much time considering 'his feelings" but hers are also important. In matters of love it’s important both people care. I’d highly suggest doing you a bit. .sometimes by doing that he’ll miss you paying him attention. Guys are weird that way.
My husband is the same way
When hes stressed its like the world is against him.
But most times he’s very loving. He has also expressed many times he wants me to initiate anything whether it’s a hug or kiss anything he wants me to show interest
It’s very common with men but it doesn’t have to be that way. Somehow you’ve got to have one on one dates with him and build up that relaxed closeness again and then you can safely share your deeper needs. We went to a church marriage class, been married 32 yrs) and it was very gently guided with books to write in and DVD clips to learn from and a little bit of homework. It changed things around dramatically but you both have to want to change or meet in the middle and you have to be flexible an vulnerable. It was good for us but it’s a lifelong thing to work on. I wish you well. Ps. I also went to a woman Counsellor and that was awesome.
Idk this really bothers me
Compliments should not stop
Especially after having kids
I personally think men know when there being abusive and not lifting their woman up in spirits
Doesn’t always mean infidelity. My ex boyfriend would always buy me gifts, told me he loved me, that I looked good etc. All thru out our relationship, which was 7 yrs. Turns out he was cheating on me for a couple of months, before I ended it. He could be depressed, I know I act like that when I am. Don’t feel like talking, don’t feel like making love, don’t feel like doing anything w my boyfriend. Then I have moments where “I’m ok”…talk to him. Tell him u are there to support him, u have his back. Tell him u are always there for a talk if he needs it. Ride the wave hun.
There’s nothing saying he has to compliment you. You need to be confident enough in yourself and not require validation from a man. You can tell when someone is annoyed with you, and it sounds like he just doesn’t want bothered with your feelings. He may have checked out of the relationship but feels stuck cuz of the kids. It’s definitely not just how relationships get… I’ve been almost a decade with my man and we talk about everything and he tells me I’m beautiful even in my pajamas! Sounds like you need a different man.
So, some days he comes home in a good mood. Other days he isn’t. And you want more consistent good days? Rest assured, that crying about your relationship isn’t going to do it, especially if he’s not having a good day already. What does make him happy? Try that.
The real problem is that you aren’t happy. You are the one insecure in your relationship, afraid he’ll leave. Two small kids at home all day can’t be easy, and I’m sure it leaves you craving adult attention way more than someone being around stupid co-workers does…it creates an unequal balance. You need outside interests to talk about. Preferably something that y’all can share, but if not, something that isn’t contentious to him. I’d suggest some time for both of y’all well-spent with other friends.
Try asking him about his day. Don’t assume he is cheating. And don’t ask him if he loves you. What happens if you just sit next to him and lay with him and say nothing? Not every man is a good listener and not every relationship will always meet all our needs. That’s what our women friends are for.
If he comes home every night I don’t think he is cheating on you maybe try a date night with him a couple times a month just you and him no kids do something with friends togther your in a rut .Do some adult time you both deserve it
my husband has NO clue how lucky He is lol… I have No problem announcing look how pretty I am all Dolled up!! I feel so amazing in this outfit!! I also say wow my Wife game is on point!! Don’t be afraid to comment yourself OUT LOUD… sometimes they don’t notice sometimes they just don’t care. It’s funny because it catches on. We had to go to our daughter Honor night and I walked out and my husband said yes I know I am lucky, you are beautiful and your mom game is on point lol… He was like a parrot repeating me… Find the confidence in yourself and it will spread like wild fire.
I have been with my husband for 30 years. There have been times where the only reason I stayed was because of our daughter. He is an amazing father and I love him, but I was bored. It was work, home, kids… no dates, no movie on the couch - if our daughter wasn’t with us, we didn’t do anything together. He was always exhausted coming in from work… I finally said that I hated how jealous I was of the time he gave her - I wanted his time too! We compromised on a date night every other weekend. Every three months we went away together (even if it was a hotel in our town - we were tourist!). I clearly remember how irritated he was in our first date… he only wanted to talk about her! I waited for quite and told him, “you do realize that once she is 18 she’ll probably be gone. Then what are you gonna do? You will have alienated me! I don’t need you… but I want you! And if you want a relationship with me after she’s left our hone, the work starts now!” It was amazing what a dinner alone with him did for our friendship! I had forgotten how much I liked him! Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes our men don’t want to burden us with issues at work. I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions. Just love him. Be kind when he isn’t. Love him when he isn’t lovable. Have his favorite meal/drink/dessert once in a while. If there is love - almost anything can be over come.
They say the seven year mark in a marriage is a tough spot. Maybe you guys should get counseling before it gets out of control.
This kind of sounds like infidelity… I would feel that out on my own, and wait for something concrete to show up. Maybe suggest counseling and see how that goes.
I feel annoyed too at times. But I also have hormone issues. Could he be suffering from mental health. Maybe suggest counseling when he is in a good mood. He could feel stressed and Such. Also if he is working with others that have poor attitudes then it could rub off on him.
Well he’s either already having an affair. Or maybe he doesn’t feel appreciated by you! Thank him when he does something nice anything. Thank him out in public. For taking you to supper. For groceries. Opening doors for you. Getting you a cup of coffee! Everything!!!He gets nothing from job. You gotta do it at home!
Maybe emotional issues or mood swings, chemical imbalance that affects his hormones. Maybe a functional Doctor and some blood work. I know for a fact that low Vit D levels cause lots of problems. Good luck. Relationships take alot of patience and work. My husband and I have just celebrated our 39 year of marriage and believe me, there has been very good and then very trying. If you are committed, keep breathing and take one day at atime.
I’ve learned relationships get harder the longer you’re together. If you feel like he’s not putting in as much effort as you, you need to express that to him.
I was in a 10 year relationship thinking I had the perfect life bf I found out it wasn’t so perfect.
Especially since there are kids involved you really just need to be straight with him. See if he’ll go to counseling maybe so you can talk it out. See what’s bothering him that way.
When my ex treated me the way your talking I found out it was bc there was another woman. Not saying that’s the case here. But just approach with caution.
Sometimes long term relationships grow old, you grow apart. Try to get that spark back. Try date night. Couples therapy can’t hurt. If he refuses to work on the relationship with you and its one sided then Try separating awhile. Sometimes leaving they realize what they actually have. It could help but may not also. Atleast you will know for sure if he’s still in Iove with you! If he’s not banging on your door crying to come back after a day or 2. Then mabye his feeling did change and honestly there’s nothing you can do. You can love a person to death and they just don’t feel that back for you. Sucks and hurts but you will eventually be ok…
He sounds stressed tbh. Instead of you talking and crying to him about how bad he makes you feel. Try letting him talk about how hard he works and you can talk about how greatful you are for the things he does.
There could be many reasons. He may be overwhelmed with things at work and doesn’t want to burden you with those things so he doesn’t say anything but just wants to be left alone. Maybe on the nights that he comes home like that just give him some space and then after you put the kids to bed try to talk to him. I’ve been there with my husband and if you push too hard they get mad but but you do need to make him realize your needs to too. You might just have to ease into to get him to see it.
I don’t think jumping the gun and saying “he’s having an affair “ is proper! None of you know! Is that what y’all do? Is that why you’re automatically assuming? Obviously this poor girl is insecure and needs a little reminder now and then! She said they’re young, so they’re both still learning. No marriage is perfect and it’s not always lovey dubby etc. Give the girl some inspiration, good advice, lift her up, not assumptions that’s going to bother her even more! 
Na, sometimes we get to caught up doing “adult responsibilities” or “being mommy” that we forget parents need attention too. Maybe you guys need a night with just the two of you, no kids? Maybe try doing that & making it a priority to do something together weekly? Maybe that will help.
If he’s not into that… we’ll then maybe something more is going on… Like possibly cheating… BUT it could also be he’s depressed? Men handle depression & stress differently than us… But also, you should be able to sense if you feel like he’s playing games & messing around. I know when it happened to me, I could sense it right away…
I can compliment myself, I don’t need anyone else’s adulation. He’s grinding for you and the kids, that’s nice. Do you have anything in common with the man? Were you friends before you were married? If you want to get your feelings out, start writing. Keep a diary and read it later, you will probably cringe. People that talk too much are usually starved of social interaction. Get some friends.
Maybe he’s struggling within his work environment? Being his moods are inconsistent, when he walks in the door?
Do you ask him about his day? He might be finding it hard to ‘switch off’, and not realizing the way it’s impacting his home life.
Talk to your hubby and try to see things from his perspective. Listen to understand instead of thinking of your own response… Which can be hard right now because you feel your needs aren’t being met. Might be the start to the way back to one another.
Good luck 
Do research on love languages. Choose one that you feel is your primary and have him do the same. Then you both can work towards fulfilling eachothers love language in ways that will help.
Men have problems too, most of the problems don’t stem from home.
Don’t be another problem. Let him work it out himself, distance yourself from him and make him miss you.
Sometimes my husband just wants left alone when he gets home. I give him space when he is like that. I don’t take it personally. Sometimes I ask can we talk later?
Start date nights again. Even if only for one night every couple of weeks, send the kids to a babysitter and get out together.
Along with one date night a month have an evening where you both go do something you love seperate of each other. The date nights rekindle the relationship while the seperate day of the month gives you both a recharge.
You might want to research attachment theory, it could help to understand the dynamics of your relationship. Best of luck!
I could have written this myself, I’m in the exact same boat. I don’t have any advice just support. You are loved and I hope it gets better for you.
Seems like he has hard times at work. But let him know when he walk through that door, he leaves his troubles behind and man up as a husband and a father. When you look your best? He might not say you look beautiful, but I’m sure he’s thinking it. Ask him, how you look? Then ask him to help you get it off later that night, if he doesn’t fall asleep… Men!! They need a damn handbook for the easiest things.
You are not alone. I’m having the same issues with my husband. I talked to him about it and it got better for a bit but it’s back to that again. He won’t agree to counseling either. But you are not alone
Be independent with him, see how he reacts, let him comme to you, good luck, hope for the best:heart:
I’ve been with mine for 15 years and there are days I missed him and am super lovey dovey, and then days when I’m annoyed with everything and just want him to leave me tf alone lol I’ll come home to him wanting to talk my ear off, but my brain is so exhausted I don’t even have the energy to listen. I’ve never cheated, I’m just extremely independent and don’t like to be smothered. Especially when I’ve had a long, shitty day at work.
He could be stressed out (Talking from experience)
Maybe find a hobby together. Or some you time.
Maybe he feels stuck in the small children phase. Maybe give him a massage! good luck
Have you ever thought about him being stressed from working all day? I mean maybe ask him how he is doing or try to not make it about you all the time. Women are not the only ones who can be emotional or have problems…
Could be financial stress maybe, problems at work.
Or maybe talk to him when you not crying about how you feel and ask him what is the reason.
Does he like his job? Mine hates his so he’s usually in a bad mood, I try not to take it personally
I recommend counseling. I’m sure you’re both having feelings and communicating is key, but in the correct way so the other person doesn’t feel targeted. Goodluck!
Men dont express themselves. They tend to old things in. Dont think the worst look for signs of something he may be dealing with. Recently had this senario 9 years together no kids. Was health issue. He was scared to talk about it.
I would definitely try therapy if you are both committed to making it work.It helped my marriage greatly. I honestly don’t know if we would have made it to almost 15 years without it.
The Gottman Institute has great relationship articles! Small Things Often is a great podcast on Spotify as well. best of luck to you
I would give him unwind time when he first gets home for like 30mins. In case he has had a bad day or is tired.
I feel that everyday, I just stopped talking to him unless he starts the conversation… i take care of the kids and go about my day
It sounds like he could be bipolar. I have a close friend who has it and if I didn’t know better I would swear you are talking about them. Can you think of a traumatic or very stressful experience that happened right around the time your husband started having these mood cycles?