If its a constant thing by a ton of people Id ask myself why honestly. Theres obviously more to the story. That many people dont just talk negatively about others for absolutely no reason. Unless hes the one talking negatively about you to them. Id ask him why they ALL feel so comfortable to do so in his presence. Sometimes people like to paint others as a bad person. If thats the case, hes inviting it and thats the reason hes not defending you.
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He should absolutely defend you!
No i am going thru the same thing!!
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This sounds like my current bf/3rd baby dad he always defends his family smh 
Your not wrong girl .
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband never defends me, am I right to be upset? - Mamas Uncut
You are absolutely right to be upset. You should always have their back. Even when they CAN and ARE defending themselves your significant other should be in the background in support always.
Not cool. Always defend your spouse in public even if they’re wrong
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You have every right to be upset. He’s your husband, and you’re his wife, both of you are supposed to have each other’s backs…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband never defends me, am I right to be upset? - Mamas Uncut
He should definitely be sticking up for you. But why are so many people bad mouthing you? I’m not saying your feelings are wrong but that just seems odd…
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I find in these situations. That it’s possible that he is seeing the same things his friends and family are seeing and is not defending you because he’s glad somone else is saying it and he doesn’t have to.
Just another point of view. It’s kind of hard to give advice when the details are not specific to what they have an issue with.
I would ask him that question. Are you not sticking up for me because you agree with them.
And if that’s the case there are 2 options. Tell them all to kick rocks and go on doing you …or take a long look at yourself and IF you don’t like what you see change it.
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I’m sorry but if that’s been going on since you’ve been in relationship then why did you marry him, by not sticking up for you he’s in a way agreeing with them because he’s not setting it straight, why would you want to be with someone who don’t see your value and stick up for it in front of others, get a guy who shows you off as you are and thinks your perfect to him and sticks up to anyone who trys to say otherwise
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A husband who refuses to stand up for his wife to friends and or family is obviously the initiator of the attacks. He seems to be a cowardly passive/aggressive type.
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A man should always stay at your side even if you’re wrong. That’s what a man got to do. Protect his wife and family no matter what !!! Dump him.
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Be honest, he’s not timid? Doesn’t stick up for you, then sounds like he’s silently agreeing with them. Take a hard look at yourself and be honest, do they have just cause or are they putting you down, because they can. Talk to a friend who will give you honesty even if it hurts. If you’re not at fault and this is emotional abuse, start planning. It maybe smarter to walk out than stay for your own mental health. Don’t stay simply because your married, marriage isn’t equal but still a partnership of 2. Toxicity happens to the best of people. Don’t let it continue
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I defend when they are right but not when they are wrong…if he’s confrontational and not defending you…it’s possible he thinks you are the one who is wrong
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Why did you marry him if he was always this way? You knew about it since day one so I don’t understand why you are upset now? Your best bet would be to sit and talk to him about it. If he is a confrontational person then he should keep the same energy and confront whoever disrespects you.
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Maybe it’s his way of agreeing with what’s being said about you, especially as you say he’s normally confrontational. Definitely questions need asking
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Sounds like he agrees with what is being said. If he is normally confrontational person and he says nothing when your name comes up than I can’t help but think that he agrees with them.
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Yes you should be offended and speak to him about it! If he doesn’t change than you need to decide if your marriage means as much to him as it does to you! Respect is so important and having each others backs are apart of respect.
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Not enough info here to go on. When it comes to this sort of thing, the details matter. You don’t mention the reason he gives for not defending you, which leads me to believe you haven’t spoken with him directly about this. Seems to me that there is a lack of communication between you two. Right after something like that happens, talk with him privately about how it feels to be in that situation, and ask him if he can take your side next time. If he takes issue with the request, at least then you can get to the bottom of this. Communication is key!
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My ex always did this stuck up for his abusive family and only cared about him self. You have every right to feel upset.
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You have to love yourself enough to defend yourself. Do not rely on someone else to stand up for you. I know it hurts, but when you stand up for yourself his family will respect you. Do not let anyone, even your mate, make you feel like you are not worthy, because you are. Good luck, love yourself, you are worth it!
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I’m divorcing a man like this! And for the person who says why is so many people bad mouthing the OP?..sometimes the family is just toxic and pick at the “outsider”.
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That is a red flag. He should always defend you.
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Well, sounds like he was always like this and you still married him! Why if it bothered you so much? That’s what I don’t get about married people! I know I shouldn’t talk because I’ve put up with a lot of mental abuse and mistreatment from people I shouldn’t have and stayed with guys too long that treated me like that, but I never would have married them, I know that for sure! That’s why I’m 70 and never married! I don’t think my parents ever should have married and their problems scarred me for life! And what makes people think that marriage is going to change somebody into the person you wanted them to be BEFORE you got married? I know there are people that do a 180 after marriage(not in a good way)and really do change into a different person after they get someone to marry them-I’m not talking about the psychos! If you didn’t ditch him before the wedding, ditch him now if you don’t like how he treats you because he’s not the friend your husband should be to you! He should respect you and your feelings and have your back publicly ( and you his) and if you disagree with each other about something where you might argue and not have each other’s back, , that’s for a private discussion between just the 2 of you, not to make you look bad in front of others!! He’s not going to change if he hasn’t by now unless he cares that you could REALLY leave ! You have to prove that you’re serious otherwise nothing will change!
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The only reason I can think of for him not defending you is probably he is the one talking shit about you to them.
Leave the man.
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Yes it’s ok to be upset .You really need to find your voice and stick up for yourself with his friends and family. I’ve been married over 25 years believe me they will stop after awhile they don’t like being confronted with there friends around
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I’d be angry too. This happened very early in my marriage. Told my husband that he needed to speak up for me. His reasoning was he didn’t really care what they said, he knew the truth. I, personally, felt like his silence was agreement. He finally did speak up (when it happened again) and it’s never happened since.
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Next time someone talks bad about you call him out!! Where’s husband of the year to my rescue??
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If it’s his family he may be scared to say anything. Is there some sort of financial help there that makes them feel entitled to do this cause I find people true color come out when u owe them money
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Perhaps you need to have a heart to heart talk with him- tell him that expecting support from him is like leaning on a jelly - none at all. It is a matter of respect. Try to keep away from toxic people - including family if need be.
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I don’t know the context but I don’t hang out with my boyfriends friends typically. They only know what my boyfriend tells them, is it possible he talks badly about you to his friends and family? So when they do it he can’t really say anything bc it came from his mouth In the first place? Either way it’s your job to protect yourself and set boundaries not his. If his family and friends talk badly about you I would no longer go around those people. I would reevaluate your husband as well. At the end of the day you need to have enough love and respect for yourself to doing the protecting and boundary setting.
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I had a loud mouth chick n believe me a person gets tired of getting in the middle of wats not even any of their buisness. Stand up for your own self .
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Not wrong. A man should always defend or protect his woman.
My advice? Stop going around those people who constantly put you down. Doesn’t matter if it’s family or not. You feel uncomfortable or upset whenever specific people come around you or you around them? Leave. Simple.
I wouldn’t give two sh*ts about how they feel about it, especially if your husband isn’t being a real man.
A man should get his woman’s back always! If she’s in the wrong, it’s discussed after the battle so that you both can learn from the situation
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If it’s always been this way, why would you marry them? I don’t understand the logic here. You knew what they were like, you married them, logically you really shouldn’t be mad. You knew what you were getting into. Sounds like he likes the chaos and wants to breathe it in. Kinda a gross situation to put yourself in honestly.
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I can only say 1 either he believes that what they say is true as well. Or 2 he doesn’t respect you. What else can it be, he should be upset naturally thay someone he loves and spends his time with is being bashed.
Never put up with this kind of behavior. He would either get his stuff together, or he needs to be dusted. Don’t stay with someone who is not interested in defending you, right or wrong! He is a classic Narcissist. Stand up for yourself and walk away. You deserve better. I’ve been married almost 48 years. We have always had each others back.
He is showing disrespect and essentially agreeing with them if he stays silent. You deserve better.
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I would have to question my marriage at the point if he doesn’t support me. Marriage is a partnership, it’s sacred. Your suppose to have a bond/connection. If there isn’t one, I would honestly have to question myself if I would want to stay in a marriage without support. Just saying.
My ex did this last year. That’s why he now the ex … a lady he knew abuse me for no reason as he said stuff to her that wasn’t true … he walked off went she abuse me and went she left he came out .I told him never to speak to me he ask why .I said u never defend me and u lie to me about ur drug use so don’t ever speak to me …I even ask him to move out …we were together for 30 years.
All I read was the first line. And yes. You have to defend each other even in the stupidest circumstance. You don’t have to impress anyone, but you have to live together. You can argued or discuss what happened later. But in the moment you gotta back up you significant other. Watch the show Yes Dear. The couple living in this guest house have always been my ideal couple. They would die for each other.
You have the right to be upset. This is not the way your husband should treat you. He does not wish to defend you when you are around his family and to me this is very disrespectful. Does he really love you? I think not. If he did, he would be at your side and tell you that he chooses you over his family and needs to tell them to back off. Good luck.
You have a right to be upset He should have your back always
You should be upset, at himself and yourself.
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My ex husband was like . His family even cropped me out of pictures but was nice to my face . Lol. That’s one of the reasons why he is a ex. dump him
I think everyone is failing to understand what talking crap or saying something bad means, I would defend my partner to everyone who talks crap about them, now there’s a difference between talking crap and calling my partner out for something they are doing when they are in the wrong, calling someone out doesn’t mean talking crap, you can call someone out without being offensive about it, but when someone is saying something about you that offends you and your partner doesn’t stand up for you then you are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to have an emotional reaction, have a talk with him express ur feelings because they are valid
No …He needs to man up! I’m not saying he should start a riot or fighting off family or friends… he should protect and defend you by discussing the issue with the perpetrator…
No. I had the same type. Became many other controversial subjects.Ditched him when our children we’re directly being affected.Best thing ever.
No, you are not wrong for being upset!! If this has been going on since you’ve been together maybe you should have left him then!!!
Sure you can be upset…but this is something you knew about him from the beginning and you allow it or have excreted it because you stay with him…if you don’t like the way someone does something that has an affect on you and you say something to that person and they don’t respect your feelings and you continue you be with that person you have no one to blame but yourself…
You cannot have a happy and healthy relationship without mutual respect. If he doesn’t respect you he can’t truly love you. Take that as you will.
Maybe a little wrong for remaining with a man that doesn’t WANT to defend you. He can he CHOOSES not to. Why do you choose to stay with someone like that?
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Question, why are you putting him in the position where he constantly has to defend you? Yes couples should have each others backs but no that doesn’t give you the right to constantly put him In that position. If you gave a shit about him you wouldn’t put him on that spot all the time. It’s called respect and it goes both ways.
No. Talk with him about respect!! It must be a man thing! I’ve had the same thing happen to me. It’s infuriating!! I defend him and always tell him how proud of him I am. He doesn’t want confrontation especially friends m his family which they think he walks on water! I say my piece and he won’t say anything! My son approached him about it and shocked me but he didn’t say anything! Sit down with him when u r not angry and say how u feel that’s about as much as u can do. He needs to change! Janice
Defends you about what though? Because my boyfriend’s EX was quick to put her hands on him in anger and she did it in front of a family member one time and got cussed out and threatened because that female family member was like don’t put your f****** hands on him and after the fact she thought he could have defended her when really he shouldn’t have. Js
No your not wrong. Talk to him and if he doesn’t change he’ll probably be like that forever. Sounds like maybe you should changes friends too.
Shame on him .he should be ashame of his self you are his wife. I can stand up for myself thank God but your husband should have your back always
Yes you have a right to be mad and you need to have a conversation with him about it. You two are partners and that means having each other’s back. Tell him what you expect from the relationship but try not to be “attacking” in case he becomes defensive. I hope that helps.
Yes, that’s wrong. That’s his job. Have you ever asked him why?
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Well you feel betrayed by more things than one. That’s kinda a big issue. I’d say some counseling might be in order. Life’s too short to spend it pissed off…Good luck to you.
You wrong for still being with him. Get a clue. You said he betrayed you in more ways than one!!! Why are you even still with him??
Why are you still with him? This is clearly signs that he doesn’t care and that you should not be there.
Sorry sweet but a person whom truely loves someone defends them to the end even if they are wrong …think about it ,
You are right to be upset. He needs to, for lack of a better term, man up and defend your honor. As you should also do when family is attacking him. (Important to know the difference between them playfully poking fun and actually attacking though)
What do they say about you ? Maybe he secretly agrees with them. 3 sides to every story
Time to stand up fir yourself!
…and stop feeding HIS ego, if you are doing so.
if your spouse doesn’t stand up for and with you, it seems they are agreeing with the others. if your spouse does not respect you, what is the point of being married?
No your not wrong. If he can’t defend you he doesn’t deserve you. This is why I left my ex.
He probably agrees with them when you’re not around.
Yeah you have a right to be upset but he’s only doing what you’ve allowed him to do. If it was that big of an issue then why’d you marry him?
Was married 27 years to my 1st spouse, only to keep the kids happy.
Mental abuse & no respect for ones mate, is a sin.
Right or wrong he is supposed to have your back no matter what. Yall can talk about it when yall get home. Smh
Maybe. Is he caught in the middle? Are you deserving of this criticism or are you around a lot of bad uninformed people?
Even if what is being said is true you two are suppose to be teammates. Can’t let someone talk bad to each other or about.
Only one perspective also. Could be more to it the story. A lot more. People only include details from their view point and even then only those they believe support their feelings whether correct or not. And people are very emotional these days.
Even still… teammates
Sorry concerning the atitude of your husband young lady.
But please, may l ask you this question,
" DO you always tell this man the TRUTH "
The first and primary responsibility of a REAL and RELIABLE HUSBAND is to PROTECT his WIFE.
Responsible MEN loves to always hear the undiluted TRUTH if from no one else but their WIFE first.
" LOVE IS ALL ABOUT TRUST "
A man’s live is most at RISK when the closest to his heart is not sincere(tell lies)to him.
Chech out what DNA checks on children has caused to men(Husbands),
" instant death without ill health,
unexpected divorce, instant stroke,
heart faliour,
insanity, …
A real Darling, sincere and down-to-earth Homemaker (Wife) can never allow her Husband die such pathetic death.
May we know your side of defence as to futher address and advice you on this issue properly.
This institution(marriage)
demands SOLOMONIC wisedom.
He has no Respect therefore
he doesn’t belong in your life. Find yourself someone who does .
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Why you are still with him?
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In his eyes everything is good if nobody touch you…words are gone with the wind…you are a grown woman… defend yourself…why you need someone to tell someone on your behalf to fuk off…do it yourself…in front of him…then you tell him grow some balls…pussy…and you kick 
him out of the house… bedroom…or life…take control of your own life…
Maybe he feels the same way as the ones badmouthing you…
What are you doing that people talk crap about you?
If hes not standing up for you, stand up for yourself
Mine is the same. Not in the same way but in public. What am I supposed to do at that moment? Walk out of him?
I would not go with him around these people - I would not go anywhere with him!!
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Leave him,because you’re supposed to be a best friend and his family
My ex husband used to do this to me and it’s a top 5 reason why I divorced him
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You are wrong for staying with him as long as you have
If a man loves you, he’ll defend you…plain & simple as that!
So he has no backbone, sad excuse for a man
My bfs mom & sister constantly looked for “problems” with me, and every single time they started some shit, my boyfriend stood up for me without me even asking him to. Get a new man sis. 
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Not wrong, I be livid.
Says he agrees with them.
You have the right to be upset.
Been there, done that. Should of left 5 hrs sooner. 
to you.
“YoU sTiLl mArRiEd hIm” 
Its called “ADVICE”
Not shame.
No he should step up and defend you .
Maybe he thinks you got this!
Step up and defend yourself.