Here comes a mom shame. MAKE HIM WATCH THE KIDS ALL NIGHT get a hotel room with a jacuzzi tub and a bottle of wine or two. Like you said mama you need it for your sanity
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Communication is key. Or do things yourself like hire the sitter. Dont put it all on him. You are an adult too.
Everyone needs a break sometimes 
He sounds like an awesome husband. Maybe he is not comfortable leaving a one and a half month old overnight? Why donāt you take a new ght with the ladies have the hubby watch the littles and come home to your family? Why does it have to be overnight? Itās okay to need a break, a breather but your husband has to be comfortable with it as well.
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Thatās not date night. Thatās family night. Both are great nights.
Ever heard of a girls night out? Leave dad at home with kids and go out! Next time dad will appreciate his night out with you and no kids.
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I donāt think youāre wrong for being upset. Nothing wrong with wanting kid-free time. Self care is important when being a great mama. Gotta take care of you and your mental health too.
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Iāve never understood date nights, me time etcā¦ I like being home. The older my kids got the more I liked spending time with them.
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Iām not even a mom and some of theses comments have me angry as hell. Just because she wants a night to herself and her husband (how the freaking kids even got onto this planet in the first place ya know 
) doesnāt make her a bad mom and she shouldnāt have to say donāt judge me, Iām a damn good mom. Go on this date with your man and your kids and even though part of you is angry just kinda take it as a family night out and yes do appreciate that he even offered. Then next time, say I have a surprise and plan the KIDLESS date yourself. That way youāre happy and heās happy and the kids are well taken care of. And for the record, if you want a night away and need a fricking drink to yourself. Youāre raising little humans. HAVE A DRINK WHEN YOU WANT IT.
I will never understand the need to be away from ones own children for a whole night. Maybe he doesnāt eitherā¦ I get needing to step away for a few minutes and collect yourself. I understand the need for an hour alone to shower. But I will never understand needing a whole night away from the humans you brought into the world. I think what hubby planned was sweet. To me thatās the perfect man.
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Sometimes I want to take my daughter and leave hubby home. 
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Dont feel bad. Yeah itās a good idea to take the kids out every now and then and teach them how to be civilised members of society when going out for dinner and stuff, however you and hubby need alone time as well. And Iām sorry but itās not date night if youāre bringing the kids. At least heās trying though
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I would honestly go on the date he planned. Come home put all children to bed. Then you sit down and talk. Be open and honest about your feelings. Thank him for the wonderfully thoughtful date, but reiterate that you need some time AWAY from the kids.
Anyone on her that mom shames you is an asshole. Moms need to take care of themselves in order to be able to care for our children.
You canāt pour from an empty cup.
Ca1l a babysitter yourself. Why are u asking him too? Iāve been there. Did this. So can you. Good luck!
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You need time for yourself away from being a mom.
You two canāt forget who and what you were BEFORE children. Because yes your children will consume about 18 years of your life, once theyāre grown and out of the house itās just going to be you and him again.
Donāt let you two get lost in parenthood because then itāll be 20 years down the road and you two may find yourselves not being happy together because you guys got completely wrapped up in being āmom and dadā
And not āhusband and wifeā
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Find a babysitter and surprise him.
Iād be upset too. You can arrange for a sitter too though
Sweetheart not a single mother here will bash you for wanting to get away. You need time to yourself to maintain the sanity.
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He can stay at home and take care of the kids while ur gone alnight having you time. Or find a baby sitter and you and him still go out.
You definitely deserve a night for your self. Itās great he wanted the kids involved but I wouldnāt get mad about itā¦ just sit him down before bedtime and calmly tell him you would like to plan something
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Arrange the sitter yourself.
There is nothing wrong with needing to get awhile at least for a little while
Go on a night out with your friends , screw him he can stay home and watch the kids
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Sounds to me like youāre more worried about being able to drink than anything, you mentioned it too much.
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I wouldnāt be angry, I think it sweet. My husband donāt plan shit with or with out the kids. Enjoy your night and then at the end say next time letās do something with out the kids soon. That way your not hurting his feelings and completely forgetting the fact he made an effort but get what you want to
Who would leave a 6 week old baby overnight? Hell who would watch a newborn overnight? My baby is 10 weeks and i can barely leave him for a couple hours. I would never be able to be away all night longā¦
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Not sure I would be upset or angry. I would talk to him
Tell him thatās not a date itās a family outing. You just want kid free time . Nothing wrong with that. Ask that he please get a sitter or family member next time.
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By talking to him and telling him exactly what you just said. Find a baby sitter and do exactly what he just did and surprise him! āBabe Saturday night weāre going outā thatās it.
I completely see where your coming from. We had maybe a handful of dates in our 9yrs together. We mainly do everything as a family and Iām desperate for another just me and him just by ourselves. Itās hard but if you have someone willing to watch the kids then let him know. I wouldnāt let it get to you tho, to me it sounds as tho he is thinking of everyone. How often does he get time to spend as a family? He may just want to include the kids for himself and to bring everyone together then just the 2 of you later on. Just be open and talk to him about your feelings
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Maybe he has a surprise
While itās fine to get out, drinking is never going to be self healing. We try to pop out for a couple hours and grab a dinner, maybe hit a store or a movie. Bout once a month. Go home put them to bed, and continue appreciating the evening
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Why do you need a sitter for all night? Date night doesnāt last all night. Go out to dinner and a movie. That doesnāt take all night.
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Leaving a 6 week old overnight is probably what worries him.
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- You dont know that he doesnāt have something else planned in the near future. 2. Maybe he tried & couldnāt find a sitter. 3 kids is a lot to some sitters especially a 6 week old. And overnight! 3. If you want a night kid free, take the initiative & find a sitter yourself. Also, to those saying girls night out, did you ever think that sheās 6 wks post partum. Perhaps she wants some uninterrupted intimate time with her husband.
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You deserve the time alone. You do not have to learn to take your kid EVERYWHERE. You deserve a thought of your own before you start to breakdown.
Your posts just reads stress and sadness. Itās totally possible itās just because of not getting a break, but your little is new so if youāre feeling depressed or stressed out, donāt be afraid to reach out to your OB or PCP <3
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Everyone needs a break !! Screw anyone who shames you. You guys need me time also for a healthy relationship!
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We havent had a bonafide date in so longā¦Anniversary, valentineās, etc is almost always spent with son. We have gotten used to it. Dont have anyone to keep him overnight since my mom passed. But, I understand you sweetheartā¦sometimes you just want a break! To be an adult. Last time we got a last minute overnight to our selves we checked into hotel with a hot tub. Bingewatchhed bad talk shows ordered in pizza and had āsome adult time.ā It was great, simple. Dont feel bad for needing some time. Go on this family night and then plan a Date Night complete with babysitter for the two of you.
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Tell him you need to take off the mom hat for the night and be his wife. Just the 2 of you as a couple. To be part of the adult world again
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You may as well stay home if u take the kids send the kids with him u stay home put ur feet up
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You have a 6 week old baby. I understand you may want to ālet loseā but as a mother I donāt think the time for a drunk bender is when bubs is 6 weeks. I think you need to compromise here too.
Would you take a few hours out and get a medicure and pedicure and maybe your hair done? Hubs can watch the kids. I know itās not getting drunk but if you are breastfeeding youād be putting more stress on yourself to express extra ECT.
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Is it possible for you to arrange a sitter, last minute, on your own? Then just tell him what you told us.
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Next time you go out and leave him with kids
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You both need time alone as a couple. I would be livid.
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I understand me and the hubby havnt been out of the house without kids in almost 3 years! I would love a night just me and the hubby have a few drinks and what not. So itās understandable
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Every couple and mom needs special time w no kids. Do what you must to keep your peace.
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Calmly tell him that you still need alone with time with just you and him. Every mama needs a break!
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Take your own advice when you give advice to your kids.
"Use your words. "
I know you already told you husband you needed the children on an over night. Sometimes with men it needs to be said twice.
So plan a night, get a sitter for a few hours and have some time with your husband. And maybe talk to him like an adult? Christ people. You donāt need a full overnight thing with a 6 week old. Stop being dramatic.
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Just tell him and get your mum to babysit x
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Donāt feel bad
You have just recently given birth to his , child
He could at least give you a night to feel special, loved and appreciated
You stand up for your rights Mumma
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I would thank him for the thought and him making the plans. I would go out and enjoy your night with your family and tell him you want a date night with him only in the next couple weeks. Youāll get the babysitter if heāll make the plans. I think heās sweet and he tried. Sometimes they are just stupid. Lol.
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Its only been 6 weeks and youāre already losing your mind and NEEDING to drink ? Girl you got a long road ahead of youā¦lol .
My youngest was 4 months the first time I got a break , and I cried most of the time 
Honestly I think itās sweet that he planned a date night, I would be totally thrilled if my hubby did that , especially if he included our kiddos ! But Iām a complete sucker for family dates 
If its that big of a deal and you absolutely need to drink and be away from the babies then plan your own date night ?? Find a nice sitter and arrange it all yourself that way you dont have to worry about anything and you get the night you want š no need to be mad at hubby . Heās trying
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I believe you need dates nights without your kids to keep your rekindle your marriage.
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stop. Having. Kids.
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Hun I totally feel you! Iām a stay at home momā¦ all I do is cook clean and take care of the kids. Only time I have time alone is when I do shopping. My husband works 3rd shift on the weekends so Fri through mon heās sleeping. We havenāt had an actual date in quite a while. We went out before Thanksgiving but that was just Christmas shopping. Itās frustrating. But unfortunately I learned to dealā¦ not much else you can do.
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Ok so it didnt go as planned oh well he planned a family night thatās great so now just turn it around and you plan the date night text him while heās at work that he has a mandatory date night when he gets home when he gets there have the kids with a sitter and have yourself all dolled up.
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Yeah I completely understand im a stay at home mom so Iām always with our daughter 24/7 but unfortunately we never have anyone to watch our daughter and I donāt trust anyone outside of family so weāve only went out once without her and went to a bar otherwise my husband letās me drink at the restaurant we go to and he doesnāt drink and he takes care of her when we get home even though I donāt get drunk just a drink or two. We always take our daughter everywhere.
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Find a babysitter yourself, plan the date night yourself and then surprise your husbandā¦ Every mom needs some alone time, and you shouldnāt be ashamed by asking. Look for a reliable babysitter for every Saturday or every other Saturday.
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Iād legit just say āI need a breakā. We all do. You have an infant, a toddler, and a 9 year old (my oldest is 9 as well, and I feel for you). Youāre burned out. If he canāt find a sitter, he can stay with the kids while you go to dinner and drinks with a friend.
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Be straight up. Sugar coating it may not really get you anywhere. Just tell him the truth
Next time, dont ask him about the kids. Just say āgreat honey. I have Grandma watching the kidsā
Make sure you get āme timeā
Good luck with over night hahahaa XD after so many kids people are less willing and I dont blame them. But hows it a date night for you guys if he brings the kids? Thats a family outingā¦ not a date 
You guys need one every once in a while
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Completely agree with you! Moms usually bear the responsibility for child management when out so going out without them is refreshing, revitalizing and absolutely necessary!
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Why canāt you go out, enjoy the night, have a drink or two at dinner and let the hubs handle the baby and other kids all night?
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Maybe you should rent a hotel and let him stay home with kidsā¦
If you can get a sitter get one! I have 3 kids and no one to take them and never have date nights. It definitely strains our marriage. Donāt feel bad you need a break, I know exactly how you feel. Itās the moms that get help that criticize us that donāt. Everyone needs and deserves a break!
Take it, enjoy it, ensure next time itās just the two of you by planning it yourself
Shit happens, be happy he planned something at allā¦
You are perfectly right to want a night or to out and away from the children
Just get a baby sitter n go on the date when he asks where your kids are ? Then sit n tell him how u are feeling ā¦
He wont know unless u tell him
You are aloud a night to yourself mumma! Its okay to want a break, it does not make you a bad mum! Everyone needs a break every now & then, explain to him how your feeling! If need be, book yourself a motel room and leave dad with the kids and have a night to yourself in the bath drinking wine. Do what you need to do to be okay.
Iād go enjoy the night since he sweetly attempted to plan a ādate night for you guysā (it may be better than you expect). Then later when the kids are asleep thank him for the day and let him know that now itās your guyās turn to go on a date night without the kids the next available day. Itāll make him feel useful and give you a chance to say how you feel
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Iād be suuuuper upset
Go on your date with your children show that you appreciate his efforts ā¦ but ā¦ you plan the date you get the sitter and then yāall go out!!! Moms needs breaks too
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Of course you need time away from your kids just with your husband. He probably just doesnāt understand that because he gets more time away from them. Just try your best at explaining it to him. Heās a man, he probably wonāt get it. Just plan a night alone without kids & tell him heās going lol hell probably like alone time with you & want to do it more often.
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Itās honestly not a date night if the kids are with you/youāre on mom duty. Otherwise itās just a regular night, with a change of scenery.
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Itās not a date if you bring the kids, thatās a family outing. You two need a few hours to yourselves for your relationship to have adult time. You take the kids to a restaurant and you end up spending all your night caring for them and not your husband and yourself.
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Momma of teenagers here. I remember when date nights was like that. They do suck in the moment. Just remember there will be many date nights once the babies are grown. Itās like pulling teeth to get them go along now. Hubby and I will be enjoying our first vacation without kids this year, they are 17,14,11. I never though this day would come. Just be patient.
We have a mandatory once a month date and family night once a month you need a refresher to love each other and away from the kids itās not healthy to be with anyone 24/7. Date night is you and your SO. Family night is with the kids.
You plan what you want. Simple enough I would think.
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Date night= is you and your spouse
Family night= you, your spouse and kids
You specifically asked for a date night.
Its sweet he planned something as a family.
Talk to him ask him again for a date night. Calmly explain the difference.
Example
āI appreciate that you planned a family night and we had a great time together, I enjoyed myself, and the time we spent together. I would really like some quality time with you alone and we need to have a date night, just the 2 of usā
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Omg. U sound like such a freaking brat. Stop having kids already
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I feel you on this. Iād tell him you wanted it without the kids because you NEED this mental break. Taking kids out with you just makes it more stressful and itās not fun and relaxing which is what you need.
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I agree with everyone except, Erin Ann Kell. Me, Iām stubborn. I would take a night to myself and get a motel. I would utilize the time to sleep, eat and rest. I think we donāt spend enough time for self-reflection.
Once a month me and my hubby try to have a date night (we he 2.5yr ASD and 1yr old) so we have like no alone time. But at least once a month we will have own mental health check like Iāll have the kids with me either out about or home in play room away from him while he does something to relax (gaming ) while its my turn heāll watch the kids make me nice hot boil your skin hot bubble bath and glass of any 
or I go out with my sister or friends. Tell him wouldnt hurt maybe do what we do once a month couple date and then āspa day/relaxā take turns. Plus great one on one with the kids and shows them hey its ok for me time.
Getting young kids ready to go out let alone being out is tiring and more stress than staying in!! Argh!
You need to tell him, you need couple time in order to keep sane. Its healthly and normal not to spend all your time with your children. Everyone needs time out.
Yeah. Alone time without kids sometimes is necessary.
I agree with you! Mom or not we all NEED a night here and there to destress! Just tell him how you feel and maybe plan something out together for another time, without the kids!
I can totally relate. Many years ago I had a newborn the day after Thanksgiving. Also had a 5 & 7 yr old. I was breast feeding for the first time in my life, was constantly soaked from milk overflow, wearing comfy, ugly clothes everyday. The weather was terrible so didnāt get out of the house for a few weeks. I finally told my husband that I had to get out, go on a date, something. The next day he asked me on a date and had asked my mom to watch the kids for a few hours. So, that being said, you hire a sitter! Do it! Right now. Even wonderful mothers need a break sometimes! Thereās nothing wrong with that.
Really drink if that is all you want than do it at home and have him watch the kids spend time with thoses babies they, are only little once and as for family get rid of toxic
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You need a date night without kids
Itās fine to go on dates just the 2 of you, but thereās nothing wrong with taking your kids too. My son is 9 months and we have date nights regularly, but weāve only went on 2 without our son. I donāt mind it though and love when he goes too. Maybe just explain to your husband that sometimes youāll want a date thatās only the 2 of you.
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I drink while my girls are asleep. and try to relax while they sleep. I donāt go out, just not my type I guess. and i only have a 5yr and 3yr old with my hubby wanting another. I keep telling him, he has time, Iām still young, 26. I get wanting to get away from them. Iām a stay at home mom, when I liked working a bit. So this summer, ima try to work somehow, side jobs. just hang in there.
Awwwww. That is very sweet. Let him do this. Heās trying.
Then after itās said and done. Talk to him about how fun it is but now you want some alone time with you n him.
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Protect his feelings. He thinks heās doing something nice for you. Lol letās not hurt the man lol
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Do this one as a family night then see if it can be only u n him for a date night without ur babies. Or have a night out by yourself or with the girls.
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Just talk to him like an adultā¦ if he canāt understand than leave him with the kids and do your thingā¦ half the time no one understands until theyāre in your shoes.
Aww. I feel you. I donāt think I could go over night at 6 weeks post partum, but I donāt blame you. Sucks that he didnāt get it. Iād just tell him like you said it here. You love your family, but you miss your husband and being an adult who gets to do adult things. If he doesnāt get that thenā¦ girl, itās time to take an overnight spa trip, alone, and leave him with them. He will understand by the time you come home, and youāll feel refreshed and ready to take on your little monsters again. Idk if you can afford that. You can always sub āovernight spa tripā with āovernight stay at the local motel 6, and some cucumber slicesāā¦ but, uhā¦ bring your own beddingā¦ andā¦ a bed. Just bring an air mattress. Itāll be fine.