My husband thinks I am cheating on him with his brother and other people even though I am not. My husband and I have been together for four years, married 2. Within our 2yrs of dating, he had done some things that hurt me (cheating, talking to girls, etc.); I just never felt the need to reciprocate that energy, and I don’t plan to. ANNDDD … Last night he and I had a bad fight. He even went as far as telling me my vagina felt wide one time we had sex, that’s why he "knows "I am cheating on him … that hurt me so bad & I do not want to have sex with him anymore, which makes him thinks I am cheating on him even more!!! Also, his brother is close with our 2yr daughter, so even though I try to avoid him to avoid any arguments with my spouse, he’s always around! I don’t know how to control the situation sometimes. Please help !!
Sounds like he has a guilty conscience.
From experience he is still cheating on you.
The accuser is always the guilty one. Especially if it came out of no where.
Men that make radical accusations are usually cheating themselves
He’s cheating and projecting on to you. Don’t fall for it.
Divorce. He is cheating on you again. Let him go and find someone who wants you.
He’s cheating on you!!! He’s got a guilty conscience… Confront him now
Leave. It will only get worse
Don’t walk run get away from the marriage and him ASAP.
Get out while you can….
One you married a man who thinks that somehow your vagina is looser because you are “sleeping” with someone else two people usually accuse others of what they themselves are doing. My advice is run. Run fast run hard and the sooner you do it the sooner you will thank yourself
Most likely he’s cheating.
One thing is someone that accuses you of cheating is usually the one that is cheating
The one doing the accusing is 9 times out of 10 the one who is cheating!!!
If my husband ever accused me of sleeping with his brother I would leave right then and there. I am sorry I wonder if he is the one cheating tho.
He’s cheating. dump him and get with the brother. Jk about the brother or am I
Sounds like your husband is projecting. I’d take his phone
Get out like now. I am speaking from experience word for word has happened to me hes in jail now and i am still healing that was 3 yrs ago
It doesn’t get any better. I promise you it will only get worse. Please leave!
So. #1) tell him hes an idiot & to take a biology class bc thats not how female bodies work.
#2) usually the people to blame are the ones doing it (the cheating)
#3) divorce him because he aint worth your stress baby girl.
Sounds like he’s the one cheating🤷🏻♀️
He’s the one cheating or he wouldn’t be trying to hurt you so bad. He’s trying to ease his conscience
The guilty dog always barks first… that’s what I was always taught and usually, it’s right.
He’s cheating most likely
Sounds like he’s cheating, I was in a relationship before my current happy one and that’s exactly what I’m hearing from your post
Girl! Leave his ass! It sounds to me like he’s cheating. But the mental, and emotional abuse you goin through ain’t worth it alone! Get yourself out of there!
If they accuse you of cheating… they usually are…
Vaginas change during arousal. I don’t think cheating changes how it feels.
he’s the one cheating. run fast.
Jesus Christ what an asshole. He’s abusive and cheating. Get out
He definitely sounds like the guilty one
RUN. Get to a lawyer ASAP and get living again instead of worrying and being stressed
Just look him dead in the eye and say “is my vagina wide or is your dick just shriveled and small and shit?” Then pack up and find better because fuck all if you don’t deserve better that that
You don’t need to control this situation. He’s projecting his guilt, could be from past infidelity, or it could be a deflection because he is doing wrong now. To shame you about your intimate parts is vile. I’m sorry why do you want to prove to this man that you’re a good faithful partner? Why isn’t he begging for forgiveness for treating you so badly?
Jimbo here maybe some kind of mediator recouner but one of your vows of marriage is forgiveness for whatever you two have done to each other and if he’s running his mouth about your supposedly as wide as the Grand canyon maybe it’s because he’s got a grub worm and he doesn’t understand how women are built differently have more nerve endings then men he needs a reality check all the way around serious talking compromising apologizing and asking for forgiveness between you two tell him to grow the hell up to while you’re at it tell him I said that Jimbo
Cheaters Always Want You to Be Loyal While They’re Being unfaithful…No matter how badly people treat you, never drop down to their level, just know you’re better and walk away…
Girl,leave. My ex husband cheated one too and it only got worse. You deserve better
Leave. He clearly doesn’t trust or respect you
Also possible that he’s projecting his own actions on to you since he’s done it in the past.
Usually the one who does the accusing is the one stepping out!
I recently read a book about narcissists and how one big trait is reversing guilt so your the bad guy. Basically what he’s doing to you. He’s trying to pin something on you, even though your not doing anything, because he IS doing something and doesn’t want you to find out, so your distracted, emotional about it, so it’s taking any chance of a spotlight off of him and your the bad guy in the situation.
I was with a guy like that once. Run. Before you waste more time. It doesn’t get better. He doesn’t change (really) and it gets worse.
It’s time to get divorced because only reason he’s accusing you is because he’s doing it. He’s verbally and emotionally abusing you n I hope he hasn’t gone to the point of physically hurting you.
Part of me thinks he is cheating and/or has a guilty conscience but I don’t understand where his brother comes into this… are you and his brother very close? Like closer than normal SIL and BIL relationships? Your two year old is literally his niece so I’d hope he’s close with her and plays an active role in her life. I would try to have an adult conversation with him and just ask him if there’s something he needs to get off of his chest.
My abusive ex used to wake me up in the middle of the night to accuse me of cheating… I never did, he did all the time. Projection is what that is, my dear… I’m sorry you are going through this. It will only get worse. You should plan your outro… IMO
He’s turning it around on you hun, he’s cheating on you hun, get rid of him, he won’t charge, he’s gaslighting you hun, your better of without him, leave now hun, he won’t charge and rown your life, run now hun, best of luck…
Sounds like he is cheating on you & trying to make you the bad guy get rid of him ’
Omg ! You are being emotionally abused. It’s seems he is just a narcissist mirroring you. He is projecting on you what he is so he doesn’t feel guilty for what he is doing or did. Please leave and read about narcissism. It’s not going to get better, it never does. There’s not way to fix a person like that and it will only destroy you. Run away!!
He’s cheating my ex-husband use to smell my underwear to see if I was cheating. Meanwhile he was sleeping with EVERYONE under the damn sun. I never cheated on him, not once.
vaginas “open” up more when you’re turned on…”tighten” when your uncomfortable. So there’s that.
He is up to know good, but if it was me I would be saying something in front of his brother “ like hey did you know we are sleeping together”
Just throw the whole man away
Omg I swear every single day someone is complaining about their partner on here. Learn to be single and happy. Seriously. Every single day.
I can’t even - so he’s psychotic with both you AND his brother? How does his brother feel about this? Both of ya need to kick him to the curb.
He’s a CHEATER now leave HIM
He is abusing you…leave with your daughter…he knows when a vagina is big? He is sick, not in love
Your spouse is cheating
He sounds like he has a guilty conscience and hes projecting.
Marriage certificate and a baby NEVER make a bad man a better man
Thats abuse its only going to get worse. Good luck with that if you stay you deserve better mommas.
Leave darling. gtfo. He has a lot of narcissistic tendencies and none of them are good for you or your kids
Leave. Now. It only gets worse. This is how the abuse starts. You are cheating even when you would never…then, the next thing you know you become the punching bag, then there are knives and guns and then one night you don’t think you will survive. Seriously. This is a big warning. Go now before it turns into worse.b
Your partner is verbally and mentally abusive. Make a plan to end your relationship. You deserve so much better.
You need to leave him. I was with a guy like that. Not only was he the cheater, but he was abusive and gaslighting me. You need to leave and file for divorce and custody.
He said your vagina was wider last time you had sex? So not only is he a terrible partner, he’s also an idiot. Please tell me he has 1 redeeming quality to explain your presence.
Hes projecting whatever he is doing on you. Its not going to get better. I’ve been there done that.
This whole thing is kinda messed up. 1 why do you Marry somebody who cheated on you so clearly you will never be able to trust? And two if he thinks your cheating with his brother, why does he allow his brother around? And you could simply tell the brother what’s going on so he doesn’t come around (even though that’s toxic and you should just go to couples therapy and fix the relationship) or leave and be happy
Seriously… physical abuse is next. Trust me. Please get out while you can.
Leave. Gaslighting. He is cheating. Get out NOW
My lowlife ex ALWAYS accused me of cheating. Magically, he was the one who was effing around. Not saying your situation is the same but usually when someone is guilty of one thing or another, they accuse other people of doing the same. Its most likely his conscious talking
Leave while you can it will only get worse Iv been there… he’s projecting on to you what he is doing, he’s thinking in his head “well if I’m doing it she must be too”
Plot twist!!! She really is sleeping with the brother😳 jerry springer shit here
In my experience this was how abuse started between myself and my ex.
He gave himself an excuse to be angry at me. And he also used it as an excuse to try and isolate me from others.
I’m not saying this is definitely what is happening, but that was my experience.
Your husband is a cheating asshole. Leave.
One word…projection. Always accuse what they are guilty of.
Listen to what he is saying to you… he is accusing you of cheating because he could be doing that to you. My ex boyfriend was a narcissist. Accused me of cheating. When he was the one doing it to me.
So he admitted that he knows your cheating with a guy whose dick is bigger than his!?!
You need to leave this fucking clown. He sounds guilty to me.
In my opinion…He is projecting, and is cheating on you again
As others have said, this is abuse and it will only get worse. You need to get out of this situation now
So many red flags. File for custody and a divorce and go. Run, do not walk.
I know it’s not what you want to hear bc you think “maybe” you can change things… You can’t change him. He will never let it go. You will always be “cheating”, “lying”, “sleeping with _____”. It won’t end. Is that how you want your daughter to see you treated? Is at ok for her to have that kind of marriage?
Sooner rather than later.
Your husband has the problem. He’s just trying to blame you for his wrong doings!!!
RUN!! Sounds like he may have some guilt of cheating!! When they start accusing and disrespecting, it only gets worse!!
Does your husband have rocks in his head? Your vagina felt wide? This means he turned you on! You were relaxed and comfortable and ready for him to enter you. A dry tight vagina would say the opposite.
I would be packing his shit right now!
Ask his brother to help your husband move his stuff and tell him why. He sounds jealous of his own brother which is messed up. Him accusing you is a problem in his own head. He may feel insecure because he’s cheating and scared to be found out or because he thinks you will do to him what he did to you in the start of the relationship.
Once you end it do not let guilt from him take over your own self worth after leaving. If I had a dollar for each time a man said to me ‘I’m sorry, it won’t happen again’ or ‘i was in a bad place but I’m better now’ or ‘I’m changing myself now for you to be proud of me’ I’d be rich. They don’t change and if they do they relapse and you end up wasting YEARS of your life to keep others happy.
Run don’t walk!!
Leave. I just went thru this. Said the same thing after delivering his 9 lb daughter…not even 1 week post partum, demanded intercourse then fought with me a few days later saying he knows I was “being fucked on”.
Run. And fast.
I learned the hard way…believing his apologies and all that. We are now in a HUGE ugly custody battle. Both with lawyers. I wish I would have listened to everyone that told me to kick his ass out and retrain him from me and our daughter that’s only 6 mts old.
Your husband is cheating again. I’ve counselled way too many ppl and this here is a common problem. The cheating spouse always points fingers at the innocent spouse.
Sounds like a toxic relationship. Get out now!!
You all Are so right everything well said
Leave, hes abusing you.
When he told you your vagina felt wide you should have told him his penis must have shrunk! Kick that ass to the curb, he’s obviously the one that’s cheating.
when a man’s cheating he’ll say hurtful things to you to make himself feel better about what hes doing, One of the main things men will say is, your cheating i know you are and thats to cover up what he’s doing, he’ll even start arguments over nothing, start asking where yourve been, who were you with, even to the point who’s txting
well guess what? thats the GUILT… cos everything he’s asking amd saying to you is exactly what hes doing
Those who accuse are the ones who are guilty. Kick his sorry ass to the curb.
Leave him for his brother.
Get out before to late
Sounds like he’s the guilty one & no-one should have to live always being accused & not being trusted. Try counseling?
Get out now before more damage is done. Really do you want your daughter growing up thinking thats how a man is supposed to treat her? Thats what you are teaching her by staying in an abusive relationship.
Even if the brother up and left to another country and you never saw him again, he’d find someone else to shift the blame to.
You can try councilling. Like others have said, projecting sounds likely. If you’re trying to do your best to make it work then councilling is a start I guess. Atleast if all else fails you can say you tried and you won’t have regrets of just throwing in the towel.
Can you rationalise things for him ? When could I possibly have done that? Why would I do that to us ? I don’t want to have sex as you’ve said hurtful things to me. If you really think that why haven’t you spoken to him about it ? Or why haven’t you tried to divorce me? Why would my vagina suddenly be wider if I had sex with someone else? That’s really not how it works . I feel as though this would only play into things for him but I can imagine leaving is not your first preference.
Make sure close friends/family are aware of what’s going on. You want to make sure you and your daughter are safe and you have some support.
My Ex use to say if you ever mess around on me I’ll screw your best friend lol.
Leave but also is the brother telling ur husband stuff
Sounds like you have a narcissist on your hands. Gas lighting you every chance he gets. My advise to you is run!!!
You and your daughter deserve better!! He will not change.
Of course he is cheating, not you.
- Get tested for STDs. You may want to forego sex with him from now on based on his being a carrier of whatever his side chicks (or dudes!) may have.
- contact a women’s center for good advice,
- designate a safe house where he would be unlikely to know where it is or even know the person you’d be staying with in an emergency.
- Get a good lawyer and plan your divorce and custody of your daughter. Don’t tip your hand while you are planning your work and working your plan. Research as much as you can & have your questions ready. Ask about child support, custody options (I’d want him to have supervised visits only), decide what rules apply when he has visitation (can women spend the night?). No chitchat. Lawyers charge by the 15 minutes and are very expensive, so use that paid time wisely.
- Record your husband if you can while he is ranting. Screen shot anything you can find on his phone. Pile up as much evidence of cheating, abuse, verbal threats as you can. You may not need it, but it’ll be invaluable if you do. Make duplicates of everything and store copies with friends or family you can trust to keep their mouths shut. Know where your important documents are & make copies.
- Develop your “village” of friends and family who will help you be a single mom. Use foolproof birth control so you will NOT have any more children with this jerk.
- Determine where you can afford to live post separation, whose name/s are on the lease/title/mortgage and what the obligations are. If you will need subsidized housing you may want to get on a list ASAP if there is a long wait for units. Know what constitutes abandonment.
- Enjoy the support of the women on this forum and many others. You will be fine & in time may find someone who cherishes you and treats you like the queen you are. Right now, concentrate on yourself and your daughter and plan your safe exit.
Divorce. Plan it safely and get your daughter and you out of there