My husband told me he didn't want to come to my first baby appointment: Advice?

How would you feel if your husband/partner said he was ok not going to the first appointment (I’ll be 11 weeks so would be a good ultrasound…) I know it’s a long appointment, but we were going to meet there so he could leave after the scan, and I stay for all the extra fun. His mom, who has never watched our son, even offered, and he still said he would be ok with just a video and watching our son himself. It’s right at his nap time, so part of me wants to say fine, that’s ok since he’ll nap better in his crib anyways :woman_shrugging:t2: He of course, now is saying he’ll go because I looked bummed, but now I feel like I’m dragging him lol. Guess I was just taken back since he came to all the ultrasounds last time for our son


Ehh… mine doesn’t go to any appointments either, but I honestly don’t mind getting away from everyone for a few hours. Also with Covid restrictions no one is allowed to go with me. :confused: I’d let him pass, but tell him he’s definitely going for the anatomy scan. :blush:


It’s different for the second one. Even for mom’s , After talking to other parents of 2 or more children, I’ve come to learn this, Me as a mom, pregnant with my second, I’m no where near attached to this pregnancy as I was for my first.

My exhusband and I were together for 16 years and he didn’t go any of my appointments with any of our 4 children, aside from the 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex. It bothered me significantly. But my new significant other of 4 1/2 years has gone to every single appointment excitedly and wouldn’t miss them for the world, which makes me so happy. Massively different relationships. I can absolutely see it bothering you.

11 weeks isn’t going to show anything too important right now other than you are pregnant… I would wait for the gender one if I was going to make a big deal of it, unless you plan on dragging him to every one.

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Hate to say this but more often than not after the excitement of becoming parents in the first place, it’s kinda been there done that. I know it’s not a good thing because every child is amazing but that’s how it is sometimes. My partner only came to the anatomy scan; but also our daughter is my second child & his third.

I feel like his not wanting to go is a direct reflection on how he feels about that baby. My boyfriend went to all but two appointments because he couldn’t get them off work and was saving his paid time off for when the baby comes. Even when covid restrictions wouldn’t let me have someone come in with me, he would go with me, wait in the car for sometimes two hours, and FaceTime me during the appointment. I would address this now because it’s going to carry over.

Sometimes men take a little longer to attach. He isn’t feeling what you’re feeling and that’s okay. I would just ask him to go for your benefit and to support you. But also extend a little grace and understanding. This a huge change and men don’t always process as well as women. By the time you’re showing good he will begin to make it real. He might just be a jerk BUT more likely he is overwhelmed and processing what’s coming.

You cant make people feel the way you want them to feel! Enjoy your pregnancy and if he wants to be more involved, good. If not, his loss.

See Me personally I’d be pretty annoyed with that as there’s alot of men that want to go to scans with their partners but can’t at the moment due to covid so i would count himself lucky that he can actually go with you… Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh I don’t mean it to be.


I’m so confused at the women who have referred to it as dragging him along!! My partner came to every scan and appointment and I didnt even need to ask him. Yes I guess it would be different with a second but if he wanted to come it wouldn’t even be a problem. Tell him how you feel and see what he says, he might think its not a big deal to you with it being your 2nd xx

he needs to die to hell

pray for it that God will give him a vision of heaven or hell so he can get all those lies from satan out of his head he s a perfectionistic psycho freak he wants everything to be perfect so he can quit and your in danger of playing this game with him it will destroy you both becausem you will mock him and he will die to believe he is nothing your child will grow up trying to escape and sad do something like prayer its jsut a result of programming renounce and go to church immediately so you can ground back to reality both of you on a weekly basis God be with you both i rebuke satan love to you forever

there is something going on in all the churches it is for the king of the south he just wants everyone to go to church that i say this its major biggie so shew shew get to church

Men are not emotionally or mentally attached to such things. Be grateful he attended the 1st time around with your son. Is willing to stay with him, while you go.:wink:
He will join in as time goes on. :heart_eyes::pray:

He prob figures hes been before so why does he need to go. I think your over thinking it.