My husband told me he is leaving me: Advice?

My husband said he is leaving me today. My heart fills like it's been yanked from me.  Everyone keeps saying it'll get better and I don't believe them. I don't believe it will ever be okay. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose our family.  In don't want to loose his family. I just want to stop but I have 3 kids I can't stop for.  I refuse to make him stay if he doesn't want to but I could never be able to sign a divorce paper saying he will never be mine again. That were cam never be okay again. I don't know where were went wrong for it to come to this. What am I suppose to do now.

Sometimes we have to choose ourselves to save us. It can be so overwhelmingly devastating :cry: have faith and find your strength. Another door will open for you and you will be happy again but time is the only cure to healing ourselves :heart:prayers for your heart. Show your children just how strong you can be for them


I’m so sorry your hurting like this. There is nothing anyone can say or do that will make you feel better. Only thing to do is keep moving forward for the kids. Time will make you stronger. I had this happen to me when my son was just 30 days old. Left me for 5 years before he ever came back to see our son. Sad thing was he only came back because child support found him and he played games with my heart a second time to get me to close the case. What I’m trying to say is becareful to the future with this man. If he no longer loves you, he won’t care about you or yoir kids. Just speaking from experience. The best solution is to let go, focus on yourself and your kids, find a new job, hobbie like yoga or HIIT. It works. Cry first but not because your loosing him but because these hard times will teach you to be so strong that no man can ever break you again.

1 Like

You can ask him to go to therapy with you to try to repair your marriage. In the meantime you need to prepare yourself. Start looking for an Attorney and if you do not have a job you need to start looking and this means you will also need to figure out daycare. The one thing you need to remember is that a divorce is a death of a marriage. Treat it as such and know you will go through the 7 stages of grief. Get counseling for not just you but the children also and do whatever you can to put aside the anger and frustration and do the best you can to co-parent. It is not easy and forgiveness can be difficult but you will get through this. This may get nasty as divorces tend to especially if there are kids involved. Find your support group and use them. I wish you nothing but the best.

1 Like

Big hugs love prayers an strength

1 Like

Awwwwe I’m so sorry to hear that did he say the reason it’s not gonna be okay cause you still love him​:sob::sob::sob: unfortunately

You have to look out for yourself and your kids. Get a good attorney and set up child support and alimony. Kids come first, you can ask for therapy etc but kids and their stability come first.

1 Like

You can ask him to reconsider. Ask him for therapy, any option to save your marriage. Hopefully he agrees. If he doesn’t though, time to start considering your options, get your finances in order. Get a lawyer , make sure to protect yourself. Seek therapy for yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through this , it hurts right now , & it’s going to hurt for awhile. Good luck, I hope it works out for you guys :pray:.


Men are pretty simple creatures I’m sure it’s a Simple fix just ask him why and how to fix it

1 Like

First off I am so so sorry :pensive:. I was once where you are now, there is no easy answers what u do now is prepare because if he is leaving and he is really done there is no turning back. First breathe focus on your children focus preparing for his absence because your the 1 left to pick up the pieces not only of your broken heart but the pieces of your children’s shatter hearts and life I wish I could tell u this is going to be easy it’s not at all. If you can seek out family counseling for your kids and yourself u should. I broke, I wallowed in my sorrow and pain of the loss , I gave up , I got angry, I cried some more. Then the sun came up and I washed my face and started my kids day with the best smile I could muster and pushed through. Because giving up is not an option they were counting on me they saved me from myself and I pulled myself up by my boot straps so to speak and pushed forward. It’s hard, it’s emotional, and it can be devastating. But someone once told me I was allowed to feel all the things I felt I was allowed to be devastated and crushed wallow in it even, BUT I wasn’t allowed to stay there cause my children were breaking to and needed me more then ever. Good luck and again I’m sorry.


My partner left me 5 months pregnant with twins and a 1 year old at home. Told me he didn’t love me. I thought my world was over. 15 years later and all is pretty amazing. Took me a few years of emotional damage but I bounced back better than ever. T you can do this momma. You don’t need him to be you.

I would just let him go but I would make sure he understands that if he wants to come back, he can not. You have to love yourself first. It is his loss and you have to believe that.

1 Like

If that’s what he wants you need to sign the papers. Have some pride. It’s gonna be rough at first, but you’ll heal without even realizing it. Find someone who wants you just as much as you want them.


This is sad to say and hard to hear but When someone walks out on you, it’s usually because they already have a new nest set up, a new bed to sleep in. Take the blinders off and start connecting the dots. You’ll begin to see all the signs that where there all along. I know I went through the same thing 40 years ago. I picked myself up and started over. I found a Man that wanted to be in mine and my kids lives and we’ve been married 37 years now. Life goes on Make the best of it


Well you see a lawyer, get in contact with a therapist, start looking for all the important documents, see a doctor in case there’s been infidelity, and know that right now your world is upside down but I. The future your life will be better bc you won’t be stuck with a partner who doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to be there.


Is there any way he will consider counseling? Does he feel like the marriage is irreparable or willing to try? The child raising years are difficult and some men feel neglected, while at the same time, women also lose their identity as a wife and partner to mother.
Do keep in mind that regardless of the outcome, you can be whole again. You must make a concerted effort to be the best you that is possible, I’m sure that seems impossible right now, but you can get there. You can feel happiness again. Good luck!


Been there, done that. My biggest regret is that I sacrificed who I was as a person to try and convince him to stay. Don’t change, don’t beg, don’t grovel. A year from now you’ll realize you have gained more than you lost. Yes, it’ll be hard af at times, but you’ll come out stronger and find happiness you never knew existed. His family might end up supporting you, and your kids will be ok. :heart:


If he’s already walking out the door- he’s probably walking towards someone else. Protect your heart and your children.

1 Like

Rather than he stays out of obligation to the children and treat you like dirt,it’s best he goes and if it’s for a woman he’s leaving you for her turn will come,it’s his loss not yours,good things end for better to come he might have been the one blocking your blessings

1 Like

You grieve the loss of love for him and you pick up the pieces of your heart, and you move on. There is no point in dwelling on what could have been. If he wants you to sign divorce papers, have a lawyer look at them, and sign them. Let him go. Focus on you and your kids. Arrange for him to see his kids every weekend, and you start doing the things that make you happy. That make your heart sing. Your wellbeing, your happiness, your joy- does not come from loving this man.
You will be okay.

1 Like

Well that’s where you have to start loving yourself, if you’re unwanted why continue to be with someone who is treating you that way? It’s not a loss, it’s a gain for you to find yourself. I’m not with my child’s dad and have been single. I focus on myself and my daughter and I enjoy being single and not being with someone who doesn’t want me. It’s going to get better once you start loving yourself and then someone else will love you more enough because you know what you deserve. You’re husband lost someone who loved him but hey, it’s his loss not yours. Fill out those divorce papers because you are beautiful and you deserve better!!!

1 Like

It will be rough, but as others have said, you can’t make someone love you. Regardless of whether you want a divorce or not, if he’s made up his mind, you need to make up yours as well. See a family law attorney. Make sure assets are split fairly. Make sure he pays child support. Don’t let the fact that you have feelings for him to allow him to take advantage of you.


Sign the divorce papers. Get what you can to start afresh. Go to therapy. Heal whatever you have to, whatever you can and make a life where your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else. Find hobbies, groups, learn new things when you can. Take care of yourself and your kids and do your best without beating yourself up. You can’t make someone stay. His family should still be around for your kids. You will survive and honestly, women do much better than men after break ups. And also honestly, he probably already has someone else, which may or may not last. But don’t ever give a man a second chance to reject you!! You’ll be better off in the long run and so will your kids. Go get yourself a bulldog lawyer and make sure you’re taken care of - well taken care of!!! Then you’ll be able to rebuild. Your kids will probably be better off as well, since they emulate the relationships they see in the adults around them. You will get through it. It won’t be easy, but once you do, you’ll see your strengths and you’ll see his weaknesses and you’ll wonder why you ever doubted yourself!! Good luck!!

1 Like

I am so sorry for what you are going through. The same thing happened to me almost 60 years ago. It gets easier but so.e of the pain will always be there. The best thing you can do is pour all your love and time into your children. God be with you. I wish I could do more. Praying for you.

Put your big girl panties on and move on. Nothing is more attractive, than someone who doesn’t give 2 flips about you anymore. He wants you to pine away for him
Don’t give him the satisfaction

1 Like

From one divorced Mom to another, it does get easier.
Remember in the long run you only have your pride. Don’t beg, live your best life for you and your kids.
He isn’t worth your tears!!

Do like me and get councelling. My husband left a month ago. Even came back said he loved me and bailed again. I’m not anywhere close to being me anymore but having someone to talk to helps.


Pray ask for prayers. You both are 1. God will do what is needed. God bless you both.


Honey, your husband leaving is the universe telling you there is something better headed your way

1 Like

He was never yours to begin with, you had a union, not an ownership. He was gone long before he physically left you. Not signing the papers,isn’t gonna make him come back. Sign the papers You were a person before him, you need to find her and your self worth. Remember he wasn’t with u your whole life, you just had him for awhile. Let go of anything that isn’t positive. Put you lipstick on and move on. Believe me he will leave the next woman, don’t ever settle for 2nd best. Don’t ever settle!!! Raise your children,let them see how really strong you are. You don’t need a man to complete you. You are complete all by yourself.

1 Like

You don’t have to lose his family. Just don’t make shit weird and they’ll still love you. It’s not the end of the world even though it feels like it

Take a deep breath and take it day to day,try talking about counseling and if he refuses,go for your self. Prayers for you all.

Did you have a sit down with him and ask why? Maybe it’s something that can be worked out. Counseling as a couple.

Why in gods name would you want him to stay .Get rid of him and make your own life.

1 Like

Breathe… the sun will come up tomorrow. Get thru today.Love to you sweet soul♥️

1 Like

I’m so sorry:( couldn’t imagine just pray & try your best to maneuver through

Let him go. Every storm passes :heart:


Time to move on. I promise you it will be hard in the beginning.But you will learn to shine again

Take one day at a time, stay busy, see a counselor it will really help,don’t give in to anger and hate it will destroy you. Prayers

I am going threw the exact same thing. If I ever need to talk or vent u can pm me

get a lawyer. DO NOT sign anything until you do.

1 Like

I’m sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately you can’t make someone love you no matter how much you love them. You have to pick yourself up, surround yourself with people who do love you and move on. Don’t lose yourself because of him.


First off what started this does he have someone else or just wants out

Did it come out of the blue or is there a valid reason?

Well now you just need to let him leave and if he does want a divorce it would be really wrong of you to sign specailly after a year plus of not being together of that time comes.

But for now you have to take it as it is. Go on with life as it. Ine day you’ll wake up and it won’t hurt anymore you just need time

Get. A. Lawyer. Now. Don’t wait.

1 Like

If he’s not willing to do couples therapy, then let him go. He’s already checked out of the relationship. It wont feel good right now but it WILL get better in time. Seems like you just need to take the rose colored glasses off and notice the red flags.

You straighten your crown, wipe your tears and lead your children. Much love

Sending you strength and light Girl

OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM! Tell him Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split ya !!!

If he hasn’t given you a reason and wont communicate theres not much you can do. Let him go…but make sure to get a good lawyer to protect you and your kids rights.
Of course you’ll grieve the loss of your marriage but I promise you will get through it

1 Like