Don’t let him do you that way. Just end it.
Yeah I would be telling him he doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it. It he’s out he’s out and you will file for divorce and apply for child support to be collected through them. If he wants to stay and work through it then great but there’s no half half bullshit
Is he forty something?
Sounds like he wants to live the single life while stringing you along so that you don’t date other people… And you take care of the kids and responsibilities so he can play and not pay support by staying married
the bottom line, whether or not he’s going to admit it, is there’s someone else in the picture. Leave him to it, don’t give him the option to see if that does or doesn’t work out. File for a divorce and let him sit there by himself if the “other plan” doesn’t work out. Because you’re now the back burner
See how much $ he has to rent a apartment once you divorce him and he is paying child support
Trust me, I’ve been there. He wants out but doesn’t want to be the villain and getting an apartment is his way of justifying a way out of the marriage. It will be sad and hard but you need to let him go. Oh and yes give him the kids 50% of the time. Let him take on the responsibility so you can make a new life also.
He wants to avoid child support by staying married and keeping you happy enough so he can have you and do whatever he’s doing on the side
“space” more like have his cake and eat it too… boy bye, Next!
Me personally I tell him that if he moves out he should file for divorce. There’s a lot of different reasons he’s moving out maybe he’s cheating maybe he’s not lot of different reasons not to want a divorce either like because it’s cheaper not to divorce u or because if he doesn’t divorce there will be no child support/custody/visitation agreement etc etc which means no protection for you if for whatever reason he just decides not to give them back. And that’s just 1 thing do u own a house have savings etc etc. I would make it very clear that if he moves out he should file for divorce or legal separation other wise u will and if he still moves out first thing u should do is change the locks it all sounds crazy might be thinking he would never I get it cause I thought that once to before my divorce. needing space is not a good reason for a married man to move out and live separate from his wife and kids it’s shady on a lot of different levels especially when he tells you he doesn’t want to divorce. Good luck
I would say nope. Him getting an apartment but not wanting a divorce is him wanting his cake and eating it too. He has a side chick already. If not he is planning on having one. No other reason to move out and stay married.
Divorce. His “space” is a place for other women. You and your children deserve better. Make your move now before you’re in an endless cycle of him doing whatever he wants, no matter how it makes you feel.
After 40 yrs mine wanted out for someone else but wanted me to continue to run business for him. 4 grown children and he wanted someone to run and play while I ran his business and should settle for just a wage and he gets place, property, the whole deal. I wouldn’t agree and 1 1/2 yrs in he found he had a blood disease. Lasted 3 yrs and I was left with no life insurance, very little to show for over 40 yrs. Now, I have a home, have got by for the last 18 yrs. He’s missed wonderful great grandchildren, life we’d talked about.
He doesn’t want to pay child support. Go ahead and take the next step, because he probably won’t, then you’ll be wishing you had years down the road.
He’s two feet out the door
Get an attorney, a divorce and put him on child support. Think with your head straight not with your heart .
He doesn’t want to be with you, most likely he has a relationship with another person and leaves the door open with you, if it doesn’t work, come back, you’re worth more than that, let him go, he doesn’t want to be with you, that hurts but you have to face it.
Suggest couple counseling. Also talk to a lawyer about support for children, bills. Most men don’t leave to live alone—probably has someone on the side. It hurts but not your fault. Kids may benefit from counseling. Tell husband HE has to tell the kids he’s moving out & tell him he is expected to share care of children if he moves out. He can keep them overnight, take them to school etc. he is a father forever.
Id file divorce the day he leaves
If he’s going to go rent an apartment that means he wants to be by himself and most likely has a side piece. I just know from experience just saying. Might as well give him a divorce now because that’s what it’s leading to he’s just looking for a way to cheat without getting in trouble. What a louse
Seems like he’s already out the door with maybe a side piece. His “space” is making room another person. If he leaves then, file for child support.
I’d personally be filing for divorce.
He is already out the door. Hire and attorney and start the process.
Get your paperwork in order, a file with titles, bank info, money amounts, 401k, etc… get ready … he’s got a new woman and wants you there just in case it doesn’t work out. But be sure you have financial stuff in hand. Bank accounts, access to all. Get them in your hands now. You need an attorney and child support…maybe alimony!
With 3 little ones at home you need court ordered child support. Don’t play this with him!
He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
He must have Money to support 2 houses. Leave his ass take all he has.
What did you do to make him do that?
Do not let him have all the power and determine what type of relationship/marriage you’ll have. He is doing what he wants including not having to have to pay for a divorce and have his kids at his disposal and not lose them etc.
Him getting an apartment doesn’t sound like someone who wants their marriage to work and/or his wife to be happy. Sounds like he is doing this solely to make himself happy and do only God knows what on his free time at his new home while you’re at your home confused and upset. Nah. Take your power back!
Omgosh his schitt would be out on the front lawn and locks changed faster than he could defend this ridiculous idea. He’s has mistresses he wants to entertain.
You already know. You just answers your own question let him go and make sure you see that you and your children (his too) if he can afford and apartment he can have money as well as time with them if that’s what you, you got it so that can give you time and space for you it’s called shared the responsibility too
His way of saying it’s over
You need to file for divorce
Divorce him. If he wanted to be with you, he would
Better get you a lawyer and soon.
Id file for divorce. I agree with the others, he has a side piece and doesn’t want a divorce because he doesn’t wanna loose what he has and pay you.
Counseling. Does he have an addiction or mental health problems??? Talk to an attorney now though!
He doesn’t get to walk away but say he doesn’t want you to leave. He either wants in or wants out and doesn’t have the balls to say so. Make that decision for him and file for divorce if he is that keen to leave.
If he leaves take it that he is leaving and move on.
Why does he think that a family can afford two places to live?
He’s cheating! Ask him for a key, since no divorce!
He wants his cake and to eat it to…you need to start preparing you exit for you and your kiddos
i would tell him , take back the lease , or serve him papers
Counselling for couples & Separetly
Your saying you feel this is a foot out the door well you need to te him if he moves out and moves in that apartment that he rented he can stay out and no coming back and fourth . Your husband just so t go up and rent an apartment if he doesn’t want cometly out. Best thing you need to do is help him pack his bags as hard as it will be . I would never stayed married to anyone who stays at another home . He sounds like he may even already have someone else . If you think you may need time or space u so t take it upon yourself to rent a place is he spending yaws money on that apartment since yaw are married . You need to do tact a lawyer and draw up papers
Yea, he doesn’t want a divorce because he doesn’t want to pay alimony and child support.
Find a legal Eagle quick.
He has side chicks and doesn’t want to pay child support … don’t let him off easy ! Make him pay !
File 1st… save yourself alot of problems and drama in the future… and say bye
Get a lawyer asap sweetheart…
Change the god damn locks
Do you think he may be seeing someone else?
Withdraw all shared money…don’t spend it, just keep it safe until settlement. File first…he is already gone. Make sure he takes care of his kids!
See who he moves in with him
I would assume he is having an affair but doesn’t want to pay for a divorce. The person he is having the affair with probably gave him an ultimatum but won’t let him move in.
This where I’m at. We ain’t together but still married…
File for an official separation. If he’s playing games, he’ll come home. If he isn’t, you’ll able to get the divorce finalized in 6 months.
He wants his cake and eat it into!!! He’s probably got his eye on “maybe” and wants to try it out first.
Show him the door and divorce papers
If he’s got his foot out like that it’s not gd hun sorry worry bout u ur kids n file 1st
If he didn’t want a divorce he wouldn’t be leaving. He wants his cake and to eat it too…and wants the blame on you. This way he can say “I’m not the one that wanted a divorce”
Major coward move. Weak men do things like this. He’s not “one foot out”. He’s actually not fully invested in you and his family. He’s way past one foot out. An apartment already without discussing his departure with you after 15 years and kids is more than halfway out and it’s icky. Very weak and trying to avoid honesty. He wants you to be waiting for him while he tries the single life out. You/ you and him together are now the backup plan. Change the locks. Make it known you aren’t a revolving door. If you want to try and fix things… tell him he has a chance to talk things out with you and to figure this out…counseling ect. But the minute he leaves there’s no way back in. And stick to it. And thats if you want to try. I personally wouldn’t because like i said that’s a boy move and sounds like he’s got something else going on. Emotional trust would be broken. 15 years together deserves more than a “im leaving but wait for me to decide what i want i might be back”. He didn’t even want to try…think about that before you bother. Know your worth.
If he leaves it’s just going to get worse I’m afraid
Throw all of his shit out in the front yard and go to the legal place and get divorce papers. Stop talking to him, and TEXT further chit chat. Also, file abandonment, too. See how much longer he has maney to pay his rent…
ALSO, don’t tell him this, just have him served
Get a lawyer! Change the locks on the door and File for divorce. I’m really sorry! Either road you take too stay or divorce will be hard. There’s no easy choice but to pray for guidance from Heavenly Father.
I would file first
I agree with you. Something is going on in his life. Wants the best of 2 worlds. You home waiting g for hi? And playing like he’s single.
Ask him will he keep the kids on the weekend
If my husband did this the divorce would be filed the same day and custody would already been taken care of bc my boys done said they won’t leave mom. And there would be no dipping back into my home.
here’s the red flag in case you missed it . . .
Maybe you Drive him crazy,and he needs to gets way!￼￼￼
Maybe he wants to have his cake and eat it too!
Or maybe he’s got someone waiting at his apartment to come home to￼￼
He wants to take his hoochies there that’s y. Divorce his ass and get alimony to
If you have joint bank account please please get ur part like in the morning
Sounds like he wants his cake n eat it too!
With a divorce he’d possibly have to pay child support, Alimony, half, if not all, the rent/mortgage on y’all’s house
Girl, please divorce his azz bc he’s playin you!
…Just lookin out for you n ur kids
I knew someone who went through the same exact thing. The guy ended up seeing different women and told her after a few months of having his freedom that he wanted a divorce. As soon as she picked her self up and put her self back together, then he wanted to come back and get married again. I guess he couldn’t stand her being with other men. I don’t really talk to them anymore but I doubt they’re happy, he’s a jerk.￼￼
He wants you and his girlfriend…divorce time!!!
Nope. End it. He doesn’t get to have his little love nest and keep you hanging.
Starting right now? Document. Sounds petty. Might be 10 years down the road….you’ll need it. Dates times and drama. I was quietly given this advice by a cop one evening. 6 years later I won our custody case without ever seeing a judge. One of us had 6 years of handwritten documentation. One had none.
Say yeah then send divorce papers when he moves out lol I don’t think I could ever do that. That just doesn’t sound right
Uhmmmm, honey… close that door behind him and YOU file for divorce. Period.
There has to be a reason, don’t let him have his cake and eat it too. I’d say if you go then set me free so I can live to. What days you want the kid’s don’t let him see it bothers you.
Also file for divorce first, it looks better on you and you can file for Abandonment
Damn he skipped right over staying with a family member for a little or in a seperate bedroom and got a whole apartment entirely:flushed: IDC what nobody says there’s somebody somewhere
He’s leaving. If you told and did these things to your husband, would you not be leaving?
How about you both rent an apartment, He stays one week, you stay the next. This way you both get time alone And time to spend with your kids!
Child Support and visitation schedule necessary.
He wants you… but he also wants his girlfriend.
Cause sister, you don’t need him. I’m not trying to gas you up, just calling it how I see it. Let him go
Not exactly. I moved out after 20 years of marriage (our kids are grown though). I just needed a place that was mine where I could go and relax without stress of normal home life…(I bought the house though). Imma say something my dad always said to me… hope for the best but be prepared for the worst
Lmfaooo seriously? Serve him right now. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. he just set himself up to cheat with no problem.
Divorce him. He doesn’t want to give you your share of the money. But you actually need to move on.
File the divorce papers
That’s not fair to you and the kids. He wants best of both worlds.
Sounds like he has a side piece and wants to keep you dangling. Had something similar happen to me and others experience the same.
He wants the family and the single life no go.
Let him. You just gained half his money plus some bc y’all got kids. File for that child support, file for that divorce, and don’t let him back bc this right here shows you all you need to know. The universe is blatantly putting signs in your face, listen to them.
Tell him you rented an apartment too and you can take turns living at home with the kids and living in at your “single pads”.
I’m sorry but I have trust issues. If he needs space sleep in a different room. You don’t rent an apartment. Obviously it’s more then space he needs. I’m petty, you rent an apartment and I file for divorce and child support. Good luck
Sorry sweetie but he has something going on that he doesn’t want you to know about. If it were me I’d tell him that if he wants an apartment, then I want a divorce…but that’s me. I wish you the best though
Tell him “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out” Divorce Him
Do not wait for him and YOU file for divorce. Someone will be able to serve him eventually at his new get away.
Let him move. Soon as he gets settled file for divorce and your reasoning is abandonment.
You don’t need him. Leave. Live your life. He already had someone else. He can’t take her over to your guys place so he rented his own to have her over.
That’s so wrong of him. Y’all should discuss and find some workable solutions to help him cope with his issues.
Ask for a spare key to said apartment for emergencies and if he says no, there’s your answer!