It could very well be how it looks, you dont know what you have til it’s gone and if he doesnt want a divorce I’m guessing he just wants a reason to miss you. But what ever your gut is telling you you must listen to it
Sounds like he wants to cheat and be married at same time
Oh no! Forget that! You can’t run from your responsibilities! I’d let him go, get his new address and serve him what he deserves….DIVORCE PAPERS! Take him to the dry cleaners. You got this!
Serve him papers and find someone else he’s just keeping you in the back burner so when he’s done sleeping around you’ll still be there
If that’s your gut reaction, that’s mine as well. Put your walls up and don’t let him tell you what to do or allow him to continue walking in and out as he pleases. If he wants to go, let him. I hope you find your peace.
Your feeling is right . He’s got someone else in his life
He wants to pursue another woman but doesn’t want to let you go just yet. Men don’t just leave like that unless you are having huge marital issues. He is being a total douche
If you want space sleep in a different room go out somewhere don’t move out that’s stupid
If he went that far, he’s already out the door. He probably just doesn’t want you to file for alimony or child support yet till he gets that “worked out” on his end. If it’s that easy for him to just leave and rent a place, then there’s gotta be someone behind him, encouraging him.
Give him space or file for a divorce
I believe your feelings are correct so move on.
I’m so sorry hun
Sounds like he wants to have his cake&eat it too! Make him think you’re going along with it. Get an Attorney
He wants to be single but still have you as a backup plan… please just file divorce, you don’t need to put up with that.
That’s a big gesture to make without discussing it with you. He may want to move and not get divorced but who’s going to care for the kids while he’s relaxing in his new place?? And pay all the bills and the ones he just basically doubled without discussing it with you. And what if this wasn’t an option for you if you had said if you leave that it’s would he have still gone? Personally I’d be done.
Abandonment. What a jerk. Make sure he knows that he can’t have his cake & eat it too. Divorce him & set up joint custody so that he still shares in raising your kids.
It can be a healthy choice to step away from the relationship to determine its future path. Make sure to Establish some ground rules. What is the purpose of taking a break? Will you be staying in contact, dating other people, working on yourself and thinking about getting back together? How long will this last. Whatever he is running away from. Make sure you guys talk about it. This doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Sounds like he values your marriage and wants it to work sometimes a break can bring more value. Understand that he is human. Agree to check in with each other after a certain period of time, regardless of whether you’ve determined the fate of your relationship. Wishing you good luck!
Can’t have it both ways buddy!
I agree with most of the comments here. He’s being sneaky, selfish, immature and doesn’t want to pay child support/alimony. He wants out, let him go. Even though it kills you….you have to love yourself more than you love him. No back and forth. When you file for divorce…check into Abandonment or Desertion laws for your state.
First and foremost….￼Ummm get a legal separation…… ￼
No matter what… he is clearly going thur something and um you do t need to be held legally responsible
He can have all the space in the word= abandonment
He didn’t discuss this with you
Red Flag… time to play PI
Sounds like he wants somewhere to invite someone over
Your husband is a creep. A REAL man doesn’t do this to his family. Time to look out for you and your children. Seek legal advice now. Very sad.
Yeh no chance he leaves that house he is done … if he wanted to make it work he wouldn’t be stepping out
My ex husband did this very thing and I got worried one day and called the landlord and ask about him and the lady said oh I think he’s doing fine I seen his wife and daughter visit him yesterday!! We had zero kids!!
First, I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Now is the time to get a grip and start looking out for you and your children. This should be your most important concern. His foot is out the door! He’s abandoned his family. I know it’s hard and your heart may be broken if you were blindsided but now is not the time for weakness. Make an appointment with an attorney and go talk to them. You need to get everything in order and have a plan. Don’t wait. You don’t have to follow through if y’all reconcile but better to be prepared. You need to think long and hard about whether you can trust him again. If things do go badly you’ll be ready. Take care of yourself and your children! Don’t wait on this man to live your life and don’t question your worth!
He has a side hoe and needs a place so they don’t know he’s married or they know and he’s saying he’s getting divorced either way he’s already gone
Of course he doesn’t want a divorce but he wants to move out. Without a divorce or legal separation he won’t be mandated to pay support, possibly alimony, share assets etc by a court. He can screw whomever he wants, and financially screw you over. Get a lawyer, immediately
My husband did that almost 4 years ago and I told him that I wasn’t going to be married and live separately and I filed for divorce and to be honest with you we’re both happier and we coparent very well and I have moved on and remarried after lots of therapy and finding myself.
He’s gone, get it over with
There were no signs this was coming?
Funny how some men can just leave their responsibility behind. To need some space. Wtf?
Keep yourself attractive and fun to be with and you’ll do just fine. Are you any different than you were when you fell in love? Look in the mirror and then probably need to have a sit down discussion and get the problems laid out on the table., and then discuss, no nagging.
You need to consult an attorney. In some states you have to separate before you divorce. You need to make sure that he supports you and your children while he has his space.
You may also want to do some investigating before you file to see if he has someone else. Check his phone activity and go over his recent behavior. Where he went, who with, etc.
Seek legal help that’s first step 2 he obliviously doesn’t want to be married anymore and it’s oblivious he just wants to creep and be with whoever he chooses whenever he wants
Yeah, better or worse. He’s taking the easy way out. Back his bags and serve him paperwork.
I would say, Well, sorry but a rented apartment is gonna come with the Divorce…we ‘Both’ have 3 kids but ‘time’ away from them is not an option for either of us￼, we Are A family…so you can either get your Crap together and be a Man and a Husband or face the consequences of divorce …
Get yourself together, get strong n move on. Nothing else you can do. Make sure to take his ass to court for child support n if available spousal support. Hit his paycheck hard. Don’t let him beg to move back in either. He made his bed, let him sleep in it from now on. Eventually you’ll find a new man. If overweight, start exercising n get body looking nice again. You’ll attract right one. Time to drop weight will let you reflect n TRUELY think about things before you start dating. Then you’ll be ready mentally n physically. I personally do not like dating heavy women. Lots of guts out there do though
Without mutual consent it is considered marital abandonment , I’d definitely get in contact with a lawyer , and file for divorce . It’ll be a lot easier and cheaper on him not to divorce you so he can avoid certain responsibilities . I’d file sooner rather than later . If that was me , I’d let him know as soon as he stepped foot out that door to his apartment , I’d file for divorce .
Let him go and file for divorce. If his family is second choice to him, then don’t give him a choice. Do not disrespect yourself trying to keep someone you don’t need.
Let him leave, if he doesn’t want to be in the marriage 100% then he doesn’t deserve you at all
Him having some space I can understand, we all need our space every now and then but renting an apartment is moving out! He’s playing you hun!
Sue him for Alienation of affection while you’re at it
He’s taking the east way out. Don’t you let him take you for an easy ride. Yes it’s heart breaking. But focus on you and the kids. Get legal advice asap
Sounds like he wants to have a place to entertain or keep his honeys.
Ask him how long the lease is for.
Ask about finances.
Ask when he is going to start visitation weekends and if he will be picking up the kids every other Friday and dropping them off on Sunday afternoon or if he expects you to drop off and pick up.
Get clarity on holidays: which are his and which are yours.
Ask which month during the summer is yours and which is his. Do not let him make you be the only caregiver for children he helped to create.
Ask how he wants you to notify him when there is an emergency.
Ask him what you are to tell his folks when they call or stop over.
Ask him if his parents would like a weekend now and again with the children - they may not be able to take all 3 at once but may be able to take each one of the kids for one day every month.
Ask him what time he is going to FaceTime the kids every night to say good night or to read them a bedtime story.
Change the locks to your place with permission of the landlord.
Go and get counseling from a healthcare professional, and legal and financial advise.
He may not want to go through the expense of a divorce but he is already out the door. I’m so sorry, dear!
If you take him back, if his honey does not work out, you accept him and all of his cheating and the hurt he has inflicted. You also need to realize he can do this again and again without any thought of the pain he is causing you and the children. He is immature and selfish.
You deserve better. Think about this, please. Think about reaching out to your family for support and love. You need both right now. Be tough for your children. They need you.
He wants space and freedom, yet, be married? Trial run?
He’s cheating. Divorce him.
Ya know what… first of all that’s some ballsy shit of him, thinking that you’re still gonna be there waiting for him when he gets done with whatever life crisis he’s having. You could just walk away and change the locks and say YOU want the divorce for him feeling that way about his FAMILY. Secondly, im sorry but no way his ‘space’ issue could be another woman if he’s going so far as to rent a whole other apartment. It’s not like they just grow on trees, what did he rent it long term cuz month to month seems unlikely.
I would further investigate.
Say it with me…. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
He may not want a divorce but that’s exactly what he’d fing get. And the kids 50% of the time … enjoy dad
Divorce him your self… This is just a way for him to have his cake and eat it to. He’s just doing to hurt you in the end.
He’s trying to hide the mistress
My ex of 4 years did this to me and it didnt end well…
He’s a coward. He definitely has plans or someone. He’s just not owning up to it. Protect yourself with his money. Make sure you and your kids are taken care of!!! If he can pay rent for another place- uh he needs to care for his family first!!! Pray and go to a good church. Praying for you
Shock his ass and tell him make sure that apartment has bedrooms and that you’ll see the kids on the weekends￼
Ask him if he’s cool with you having a live-in boyfriend to help with household duties while he’s away. If he says no then divorce and get someone willing to raise a family instead of whatever it is he does.
Take the money in the bank account and open your own. Take it before he spends it. Get a lawyer and have custody arrangements. Yes he is entertaining other females. If it doesn’t work out he will want to come back and he can justify his cheating by saying “ well we were separated “ Don’t let this man make you a door mat Divorce him and find someone that loves you
File the papers girl! You and your babies deserve the best and he’s not it! You got this!!!
Get legal advice to protect you! He will find out grass is not greener on the other side! You get informed.
He needs a place for his gf to live. Boy bye, trust your gut, investigate please please please, for you and your children’s sake.
Sounds like you might be driving him crazy and needs some quiet time
He is seeing someone
Don’t wait around until he makes a life decision for you. Take back control of your life and make the decision yourself. You said yourself this a foot out the door, hunny, he is literally two feet out the door and behind his own door with a different address.
Believe with all my heart that he’s up to no good. You deserve better. Donna Moore said it perfectly above
Get a lawyer and get you and your kids legally taken care of. He shd pay you what he pays for an apt
Open your eyes girl,there’s no love there ,don’t want you.Goodbye to him.
He has already made the decision to move out and he wants to hide his girlfriend and he is ready for a divorce just trying to make his self look good saying I tryed but in his mind he is already divorced
Tell him to take the kid’s😜
Make sure he takes his children with him
I recently asked my husband for a separation. I’m not seeing anyone and have absolutely no intentions of it. Right now my husband and I are toxic. I need space and for us to try to get to know each other again. Living together we are constantly arguing. We don’t have anything to talk about anymore and I’m 100% unhappy. Look at your home life. Is it possible he does need the space?
You need to have an honest conversation with him.
That’s a cop out to leave you with 3 kids. Shame on him
See an attorney. If nothing else, get a legal separation. He can get himself into all kinds of trouble and you can be held partially responsible financially etc. . But sounds like he is testing the waters to see if he can find someone else. Also doing a legal separation he will be ordered to pay child support. Just in case he decides he don’t want to.
I had two exes and a family member who did this. They’re doing a sort of trial run with their new girl, and if it doesn’t work out then they can fall back on you.
Give him space and get a divorce. Who cares what he wants. You do not have to do what he wants. You don’t want him to go no where but does he care? No. If he leaves than he breaks what you want. Who does that?
Tell him apartment or home but you can’t have both. Or is he opting for apartment so he doesn’t have to hide his infidelity? Sounds like he has a girl or two on the side to me.
You better go get all your money out of joint accounts because a divorce lawyer usually wants around 10k retainer. Your husband may try for the bank accounts too. Get there first.
Honestly that’s absolutely crazy that he didn’t speak to you about it before he did it. I just can’t fathom that. Then to also leave you with all the kids??? What a shit head. You’re probably better off divorcing anyway because it’s either going to lead there and you honestly deserve better just as a human, as a wife, as a mom and as someone who thought they had a partner. I mean he just decided to leave! With no warning but doesn’t want a divorce? Just wants what? A mental break? I’m sure you do too! A break from the kids? I bet you do too! Just a coward cop out in my opinion. Especially to now what you guys have 2 sets of bills? Who’s stuck paying for what now? I’m just fuming for you and your babies. Honestly you deserve more. I hope you get that
Get an accounting of all marital assets. Might be worth pulling out your half + bills $ ASAP & putting it in your name only.
All u can do is give him some space & see what happens. I wanted space from my man due to high stress & my own mental health issues but i still had every intention of staying together. I hope u get through it together.
No. If there is no communication about what’s really going on with him then after he’s moved out… YOU file for divorce and don’t need to tell him, just have him served. Let the attorney know HE willfully moved himself out and didn’t tell you until after he closed in on a rental for himself walked out/abandoned the marriage with no true explanation of any sort. He just wants to be able to have an affair in privacy without feeling too guilty about it is the gut feeling this screams to me.
You need to make sure he does not come & go at your house. You need to change the locks. He wants to have his cake & eat it too. Not fair to you or those littles.
Don’t let him play you.
He doesn’t want the drama of telling you he wants a divorce, you’ll get use to not having him around. Tell him he has to tell the kids!
Nah, some cheating is probably going on so he’s trying to convince you that he needs his “space”. Them are cheatin’ words. I’m sorry but I think you should get a divorce lawyer and do what needs to be done. I know it’s hard and confusing. Many of us moms (including myself) have been and are single moms. Your kids will be fine as long as they aren’t used as pawns. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Now it’s time to get your ducks in a row and focus on you and your kids. Good luck and God bless!
Uhh yeah… Thats exactly what it is. Prepare yourself for it
Divorce him. He just doesn’t want to pay to support the children. Leaving is enough for Divorce
He wants his cake and will eat it too if you allow it. Either work it out or let him stay gone.
He’s left for someone else but just needs more time to take all the money and assets.
Don’t let him know what you are doing. Talk to an attorney and see what your options are. I know it is painful but you have to take care of you and the children.
I’m the beat em to the finish line type of woman… Get your proof in text messages that he wants to move out … file for the ol D. He got a a gf or a bf…
Get a custody agreement and your half of the assets and support. YOU WALK LIKE A DUCK< YOU QUACK LIKE A DUCK… YOU ARE A DUCK>
See a lawyer and file. If he was interested in how you and the kids feel, or in working things out, he would’ve tried that FIRST. Protect yourself and your kids.
This is the start of DIRTY JOHN on Netflix. If this question is real. Watch the show. This show will show you exactly what he’s doing. He’s “separating” from the home to his own and will eventually if not already divide and or hide all assets behind your back and have you thinking it’s just break while he’s getting his legal stuff in order and you are left with nothing.
The apartment is to give proof of separation when he files for divorce.
He wants no responsibility… so ok, fine. Take him to court. And divorce. Because I suspect you want a man who takes care of his responsibilities… or… pack up the kids for him to take.
Get to a lawyer. That usually means he has another woman.
He obviously isn’t interested in what you, his wife and kids want. He sounds selfish and scheming. Sounds like he’s playing on your emotions so he can have an affair but keep it hidden so you can’t use it in court. Do not trust this man, you may catch a disease.
Midlife Crisis and. He’s a coward. You know. Get the Ball rolling and an lawyer. Protect your family and home for yourself. Be ready cause it’s going to either get ugly or.hes got a new Lady friend and she’s probably living in the new apartment… Get the real reason why . then you can go forward from there .
Fake dumb for a little while. Get proof half of bank account talk to lawyer. Change locks. I know I’ve been there. He wants his cake and eat it too. He could’ve been talking to you but no he was looking at property. He leaves that’s desertion make him pay his part
He’s pretty much saying he wants his space to see other woman while u sit n wait loyal to him…BS
Get a lawyer and get your finances in order
Divorce the looser!!