Just a question here for all the moms or dads. My husband had career-making good money when we met. I was making minimum wage at a job I liked helping kids. When I got pregnant, I was obviously the one to stay home and take care of the kids. Fast forward two kids later. Both are in school. I immediately went and got two part-time jobs minimum wage, of course. I have one job now, and I try my best to help out, but it’s hard to keep steady income when I have to be the one to stay home when they are sick, snow days, school vacations, and summer break. We don’t have grandparents to pick them up or stay home with them. I picked up extra shifts at my job granted. It’s still only 20 hours a week, but I got cut hours because I call out too much between both kids. According to my husband, I’m not “hungry” enough; I don’t try enough. He expects me to work more, which I can’t do at this point but my boss won’t give me the hours because I’m not reliable. He says he could help by picking them up from school. But he would have to bring them back to work, and they would have to sit there in a warehouse every day. Or sit there on weekends while he works, and I’m at my job. Am I wrong for not wanting my kids sitting somewhere they don’t want to be and spending all their free time at work? What do other moms or dads do with their kids after school or on school breaks? We can’t afford extra school activities or pay someone to stay with them.
Why settle for minimum wage? Aiming higher will pay more so they can have sitters and after school. I agree that working and being the primary caregiver is HARD though. Very.
Work more and let him step up, he will get over that really quickly
Tell him you’ll be “hungry” if he starts calling out for the kids all the time instead of you. His tune would change fast. 
Maybe try and work for a company that pays more than minimum wage? City jobs, county job, school districts etc part time. They usually don’t require more than a high school diploma, and often offer opportunities to grow. It’s hard to work full time with small kids and no help from family members. What happened to your husbands job he had before? You didn’t mention his job now. No you’re not wrong for wanting to spend time with your kids.
he should pay for your college education if he want’s. you to make more or have your pick of hours. Sounds like he’s not hungry enough
I remember many days of my dad picking my sister and me up from school and us going back to work with him while he finished up. I sometimes do the same with my kids now. Personally I think it’s good for the kids, helps them learn work ethic and socialization and they can help with simple tasks as well and feel like they’re helping out.
You’re not wrong! And your husband is a dick. The kids don’t deserve to be punished by being forced to sit somewhere god awful with no interaction with anyone but themselves. If anything, going back to school should be an option for you. Whether that’s trade school or a certification program or what have you. That way you can make more than minimum wage and afford care during holiday breaks. Also let him know HE can call out when kids get sick if he doesn’t like what you’re doing now!!
Maybe try getting a job at your kids school. That way you will be off weekends, holidays, and summer break to be with the kids.
I had five kids and worked night shift then slept in the evenings
If you want it don’t go get it.
Using the kids for the reason is just blame
Why not work a job overnight? That may help
Maybe look for a better career path. I agree it’s hard with kids but it is doable and if you get a better job, you will be able to afford after school activities so the kids will be ok at the warehouse while you start your own career. Look at it as a stepping stone and a better future. I’m happy my husband pushed me to work more, now I have a better job and even decided to go back to school. And we can afford daycare plus vacations. But I agree it is hard having two working parents with kids.
He kind of sounds like an ass . Have you thought about working 3rd shift and sleeping when the kids are in school ? Then you should be rested by the time they get home.
Maybe you could try to start your own daycare. That way the kids are with you and you will make more money
Maybe your husband needs to get a second job🙄
I work 8-3 while kids are in school 3 days a week and sat and sun when husband is home
Let him take them to warehouse, i bet it wont last a week before he is willing to pick up more shifts and quits complaining🤷
Tell him to call out of his job for the kids next time. He’ll be singing a new tune in now time.
I stayed at home for 10 years. My youngest just started all day school last year and I started subbing in the school cafeteria at the 4 schools in our district. This year I got a contract at the schand work 5 days a week a few hours a day. But I have all the same days off as my kids and will get paid during summer break as well.
Single mom of three…with a career. I went back to work when my youngest was two months and been on the grind since. Graduated college twice, with three small kids while holding a full time job and up keeping a home. I understand the struggles, but it’s possible.
Parenting should be both parents working equally. Maybe one time you call out and the next him. You shouldn’t be the only one making sacrifices for your family. They are his children too.
I get not wanting them to sit around his job all day, but if they are safe and not exposed to any fumes or toxins, then I don’t really see a problem with it here in there. Obviously not if they’re sick, but if their school is closed due to snow or an early dismissal, let him pick them up. Just make sure that he packs snacks, drinks, and things to occupy them. We aren’t talking every day or even every week, we’re talking maybe once or twice a month.
Or, get a job driving bus for their school district
A lot of private bus companies allow you to take your children with you. Find a business where you make your own hours. House cleaning, child care, dog walking (they make bank) bartending a few days a week (more money, less hours)
Could you work at a warehouse for more than minimum wage opposite hours of his? No job will pay you more if they don’t consider you “reliable”. If you don’t have proper child care then there’s not much else you can do and do you or he really want your children “raised” by someone else just because of money? And then you will have daycare costs which will probably add up to the amount you are paid anyway. And I know someone said start your own daycare, but I know a mom that does her own daycare and makes her hours, but she pays the IRS every year. And from what I understand, you are already working during school hours, but the problem is they get sick you get a call and you’re the one that gets them and you are the one that has to call in because your child is sick and daycare isn’t going to be help for you there because you shouldn’t send your child to daycare when they’re sick either. Tell him if he wants you to be “hungry” then he needs to be the one to take off and stay with the kids when they’re sick and take them to all their appointments. We all sacrafice what we can, but if money comes and goes, your family is forever and I swear no matter how much money can be made you get comfortable in the income and always want “more”. Jobs aren’t were kids belong. Tell him this too shall pass. In a few more years they may be old enough and mature enough to be home alone.
Let him pick them up and take to work with him. He will find out that is not so easy. I had an employee that did this. Her son was so bored he caused issues, so she told him to go to kitchen. Still complained of course and Mom was miserable and her job wasn’t focused for her. It won’t last long your husband will change his mind.
I have lost countless of good job because my kids needed me. It sucks, I remembered times when my ex husband was available but chose not to help, I of course have to tell my job I gotta go. Eventually they got fed up with me and let me go. At the end of the day do the best you can.
Omg you sound just like me I actually had to quit my job bc my dad is really sick and I have 2 kids as well and no job wants me but my husband has the audacity to say why don’t you get a job I told him I would gladly get one if you can do what I do everyday! Sorry I have no good advice
If you want it bad enough you could make it happen. I went through school twice, the second time working a full time job and a full time student at the same time, plus I’m a single mom. I wanted more than what minimum wage could provide me and my family
Y’all are suggesting a better paying job. However, the issue is the now. While she decides to look for a diff job, go to school or just stay where she is, what can she do at this time?
Do you have/know your neighbors? Are they good people? If so, maybe ask one of them if they are available in a pinch in exchange for something else if you don’t have the extra money to pay. Maybe on your days off, find mommy and me classes or groups. I’ve heard that a lot of these ladies exchange favors and help each other out. Obviously, getting to know each other is the first step.
I got licensed and did daycare in my home.
my hubs and I got to that point when our youngest wasnt yet in school. I took a graveyard shift til he was in school. and now when we really need one if we both end up working, we got some work friends who helps us out. even looked towards neighbors that he goes to school with for possible play dates til we get home as options. we can’t afford afterschool programs right now so we got lucky to have such great friends when we need it.
There were times I sat at my moms old work when I missed the bus. I did my homework and when I got done I helped her if I needed to
On days i can take my kids to work with me i do and same for my husband. We also take turns on when gets kid get sick who stays home. We have to be a team. Its hard work but its what works for us.
A marriage is a partnership. It sounds like your husband is asking for help, and there may be more to it than just “you’re not hungry enough.” So there is a convo that needs to happen there.
Look for a PT work from home job. Update your resume, update LinkedIn, and get out there! There are jobs right now, I know because I help women get them.
Where you see an issue, I see a challenge. Go out there and overcome that challenge! You can do it!
does he want your kids in childcare or you in a job — you can’t easily have both. But you can work a lucrative career using childcare and make more money depending on your skill set and education.
Sounds a little unfair. If he has a good career but it isnt flexible to allow him to help with the kids then he might need to accept that it’s the best you can do unless he can offer help or a better solution. He might also just be feeling overwhelmed himself, or maybe he needs a break from his stressful job and responsibilities and maybe he’s NOT nagging about you and jobs because he actually thinks you need to work more??
Taking the kids to a warehouse job is not safe. What does he do? Will he be able to keep a close eye on the kids the entire time they are there? Tell him he needs to call into work when the kids are sick then when he does tell him he needs to work more (basically what he’s making you do) and see how he feels. Jobs want us to put them first and kids 2nd. Not me, when my kids were sick I stayed home with them. (Even tho hubby stayed home I had to call out some because we only had one vehicle and no help) this is why I am a stay at home mom/wife now.
Very thankful for my husband. When our daughter is sick I am the one calling off. My job isn’t as important as he makes most the money. But when it comes to my kids they come first ALWAYS. Fire me cause my kids sick I don’t care. My kids are more important.
I started my own business so I could work the hrs needed while my daughter is at school. She went to the schools after school care while i was building up. Now i have staff to help and am actually able to go off to have another baby but she insists on continuing after school care because essentially it’s an activity filled play date with her friends 
she only goes once a week and get upset if I pick her up to early … 
Tell him you will go get a full-time job. And let him deal with the kids. He will start appreciating all you do. When their sick. Let him call off.
Work opposite shifts
Have you tried applying at your kids school? They have classified jobs. And most schools are really understanding. I just got a job thru the school district working before and after school care and my kids can go.
You’re doing your best it’s all you can do be proud
Yep go the entrepreneur route then! Start a small somethan. Daycare, house cleaning, yard work. Anything that’s common sense and pays the bills id do!
Stay at home daycare could be a good option. My husband and I are in this predicament at the moment and i actually quit my job because it wasnt financially extremely helpful & i was always gone so it put him having to work his physically draining job to coming home and emotionally draining housework/kid stuff. Im considering going back part time somewhere to have some $ to help but if anything i will only consider part time daycare (2 days a week). You could also try to find something at the school - youre off when school is closed and i feel they would appreciate you not being there if your little is sick because they dont want the germs spread. Im sure y’all will find balance, but in the meantime good luck.
You both made them so you both nees to raise them. He needs to step up or shut up…
If you have Instacart in your area, you should try it out. You will make more than minimum wage and you work when you want to because you pick your own hours.
I was told that too. Guess what, I was there for my kids. I may have been tired and grouchy, ( worked nights) but I knew who they were with, and what was going on, most of the time, and they turned out well. I was shamed for not being super woman, but looking back…I know I made the right decision for the right reasons.
Try to get a job at your children’s school…that way you will be off when they are off…there’s no good answer for sick days, unfortunately…
Find a job that’s opposite shift as your husband.
Uber, Uber eats or some other food delivery service, bartender, waitress. Leave him at home with the kids while you work a night and weekend bar gig! I’m not knocking bar gigs, but I don’t think husbands really like it! It’s good $ and the schedule does work around the kids school hours. At least then he can’t say you aren’t “hungry”
I don’t think he’ll have his job long if he takes them to a warehouse. Not safe, plus two kids running around out of boredom. It won’t last.
I believe amazon delivery drivers have very flexible schedules, like work when you want schedules
Do u have any friends that may help, maybe one of children s friends moms That’s what I did.
One thing I think needs to happen is dad needs to step up when the kids are too sick for school if he wants you to continue to work, and let him take them to where he works after school as long as they have a safe place to be, he will find that is not a true solution. You could look into doing in home daycare, try getting a job with the school district, even janitors at schools make good money and have nice benefits. You could also talk to members of your church maybe one of them would be willing to help you out with child care for minimal payment, lots of older ladies would be happy to have a small extra bit of income.
My kids has had to go to work with me plenty of times, Sometimes in life you have to do things , you don’t like doing, If you all have the opportunity to bring more money into the household ,let him bring the kids to work,With my kids always packed snacks and drinks,Things to keep them occupied like iPad,books ,coloring books, markers,pencils and paper!
Sadly I get the same crap, but I’m a stay at home mom because we literally have no one to help us and he doesn’t make enough money to cover the cost of daycare until I could start getting paid. I would give anything to make my own money, some men are just natural assholes and don’t even bother looking at things but one way.
I remember plenty of times I had to go with my mom to work!
Check and see if they have a church program near you. There is a church near where i live that you can drop your kids off at 6am and they take them and pick them up from school. Then you have to get them by 6pm. Also, they provide snacks, homework time and play time. The best is that they only charge by the day the children are there and they are open when public schools are not, except on weekends and really bad snowdays. They are also open during the summer. They go on trips and all! It is really worth checking into! Good luck mama!
What about substitute teaching?
He could also get a second job then you could afford after school care until you got home. I kinda feel that’s what a real man would do!
Stop working stay at home for your kids. I loved my life as a stay at home mom…Now my kids or grown and I’m the best momo in the world to my grandson.
Why is nobody pointing out that her husband is a dick?
Your husband’s right. And you’re making excuses 
There’s plenty they could be occupied with while at work with him.
While I don’t agree with him claiming you aren’t hungry enough…::I can’t disagree with husband picking them up and bringing them to work. My daughter has been going to work with her dad for a few years now. She loves going(we needed a sitter for Sunday’s since I worked open to close those days.) she gets to se her dad work. Learns about a good work ethic, and last year started begging her dad to let her help him at work. He does car custom stuff, so the girl in the warehouse got her some windows so he could teach her…now at seven she knows how to do quarter glad car windows and reg door windows(she’s small so needs dads help still to lay it in…but she applies the window film…and she was able to earn money while there…it’s a smaller company family owned so they treat us like part of the fam
My husband doesnt like the idea of me having a job now we were making it but injust wanted to have play money for kiddos this summer
Could you get a job at the school? Would solve a lot of the problem 
Are your kids all school age? If they are I don’t see why you can’t work full time? Granted if you do then the responsibility to care for the children will be split 50/50 and he will have to call out of work sometimes too when it’s needed. Both me and my husband work full time and split sick days, sometimes we might have to use a vacation day if we have to stay home.
Maybe find a job where either it works around the kiddos schedules, like in the school district as a custodian or lunch lady. I know it doesn’t sound like the best jobs but you would have the income plus the schedule you need. If he is as “hungry” as he wants you to be make fork the money over for childcare? Do yall not realize the man works in a warehouse? She clearly said that. I wouldn’t want my kids in a warehouse while the husband is doing his JOB and not having full attention on the kids. She is not being ridiculous on that front at all. Warehouses have MANY dofferent jobs and a lot requires 100% atrention on the task at hand. My hub has worked in factories and the warehouses attached and its not exactly the safest job…
Ur doing just what ur post to b doing ur doing a great job keep up the good work
- You can find a full time job that doesn’t ever do weekends. 2. Dad needs to call out on sick days and school holidays as much as you do, and he needs to understand it will cost $$ for summer camps. You can take them on weekends. Work at a drs office or bank? Hmm… thesenplces are all starting to open on weekends. There are offices, though. Or better yet, if you have a clean record, try a job in the school district. In the US, they have full time office assistants (10 month positions) and school hour parttime permanent positions. Many of them have unions which means even if you’re only making 9 - 15 $/hr, you’re getting a retirement plan, and health benefits (if you’re fulltime 10 months), but you’re home on school holidays and have PTO. You may have to leave at 630AM and may not get done until 4 or 5, but if you can find a neighbor with kids who can take them in the AM, just to get them on the bus (offer them $25 a week or something, they are already doing the work) then your husband can pick them up and hold them just until you get there. So it’s not like they are sitting there for hours and hours. You may have to wait for an opening, yes. You may have to apply to neighboring districts, which might mean a few varying days off. But it was the most convenient job I ever had (cafeteria, lunch lady), as far as scheduling and growth opportunities. It’s like a network and a family, and you get to know your neighbors and your kids’ friends. It’s nice… or… it was nice for me for a while anyway.
How about a remote job? Something you can do from home? There’s a company in Oregon that hires virtual receptionists. All they do is take messages for their clients all over the world. I believe they hire in like 9 states. A lot of companies that are work from home have flexible scheduling. My oldest sister works for a company based out of Florida (she lives in Texas) called Ghost Writer. They do the paperwork for social security attorneys. My youngest sister also lives in Texas and works from home for a Utah based company called slingshot. She moved into a position that allows her to work her preferred schedule so her daughter is never without her.
If he needs help find a way to make the necessary adjustments. You might have to suck it up and let the kids go with him. It can’t be just your way because you don’t like the idea of them sitting there. They will be okay and once you guys get stable enough to where it doesn’t have to be that way then fine.
I’m single so i have no help at all and i do care giving jobs which offers some flexibility around the kids schedule. So that may be something you could look into.
Karen Beggs I agree! This husband sucks!
When my mama was working and going to school, and my step dad worked full time, I went to the College (where he worked at the time as a custodian) and sat in the breakroom. I would do homework or watch TV. I never disliked it. I thought it was neat to be the only kid allowed back there. His coworkers were really nice and I loved it. His coworkers would help me with homework I struggled with and it was really helpful to get different inputs on ways to do problems. Pack them puzzle books, coloring books, or games if you’re afraid of them being bored.
You said he makes good money. Stay home with your kids. Is there something you can do from home? Someone’s laundry? Clean a house or 2 when he’s home to watch his kids. You can do your part without money. Maybe watch a couple of kids for cash to save.
Try substitute Teaching. If you have 60 college credits they will hire you in NYS. Not sure where you are. I sub and I can pick my days as long as they are available. Full or half days and money still goes to my
Retirement. Summers and breaks with the schools are off unpaid. If you don’t have college I know many districts hire teachers assistants and aids without school. Some even offer healthcare. Then you’ll usually be out of work in time to pick up your kids or get them off the bus.
If you enjoy working with kids I see two options. See about becoming a para educator for your childrens school district, you are off holidays an weekends with them. Or open a day care in your home licences threw the state. Most stays have a program to help working parents with child care. I make 1500 for one family of 3 kids an 2000 for a family of 5 I have less often. From home so you could be there for your kids also.
My question is, if your kids are school aged, why would you be considered unreliable? I get kids being sick, holidays, ect but do they really miss THAT much school that a job considers you unreliable? Also, If you all are struggling and cant afford activities/daycare then yes they need to go with dad so you can work. Sometimes you have to do what you dont like so you can fix a financial problem or make it easier for all of you. However I would not settle for a minimum wage job. There are tons of jobs that are flexible and pay way more. Also, If dad makes more than you then I dont agree with everyone saying he should split taking days off. unless he has pto and gets paid for that day . Why would he take a day off with no pay while you make much less for that day than he would?
My husband works 6 to 7 days a week plus does side jobs. I work remotely making over double minimum wage and it has the flexibility to take off If i need to. I pay a friend 100 a week to watch my youngest and I am done working about the time my oldest gets home from school. I hate never seeing my husband and I dont like my job but you have to suck it up sometimes to ensure stability in your family’s life.
constantly look on Indeed to check jobs in your town and remotely.
Why don’t you try night shifts someplace?
The kids will probs love being at work with dad. If you don’t try then u will never know. I work 30hrs my hubby works full time. You can make it work and it’s so good for you being out earning. Try retail or call centres they usually have a shift to suit mums like 9-3 etc. I do shift work. It’s a pain but I pay for child care etc cos for my own sanity I need to work and be financially independent. Good luck with what ever you choose. Your other half is feeling the stress of financial burden if he’s saying you need to work more so take all he is saying on board to but don’t feel forced into a job I will hate. Life’s to short for that!
You stay home. And let him get a second job. Problem solvef
Single moms and dads do it all the time. If they are both in school you should work fully time, if you guys are struggling. Maybe find a job working the opposite hours from your husband if you are worried about them staying with a sitter.
I feel sad for this person but not really because welcome to the life of a single mom. I had a child when I was 19, still went to college while working 3 jobs, my son went to daycare. After I graduated I got a good paying job and got pregnant again 5 years later and did it all again by myself. Worked full time, paid for everything, and daycare. I called off when they were sick, paid all the bills, did EVERYTHING. On $14 an hour. Childcare for school aged children is not that much. It’s all about budgeting and cutting out unneeded things. He is saying it in an extremely rude way but he’s not entirely wrong. I have faith that you can figure something out! Imagine if you had to do it if he just jumped ship and left. Single moms do it all the damn time.
Work opposite shifts
Can u start college and use some Grant’s loans for day care expenses
Work at a daycare
U need to work on ur career so u can make good income and not deal with minimum wage all ur life. Which would make u feel better and resolve the issue
Sounds like you and hubby need to take turns with the child situation. Not fair that one person has to miss work all the time. You’re supposed to be a team. And I don’t think children having to sit at a parents work being improperly supervised is an ideal situation for them. Open your own daycare where you are home and able to still be available to your children, should they need you is a good thought!
My husband has a great paying job and I’m a SAHM. He never ever complains. He takes care of us and our kids by working. Since I’m home all day time, I take care of cleaning, cooking, etc. I’m always home if my kids get sick or have dr appointments, etc.
I think your husband is in the wrong in this situation.
Find something with hours that are better for your family. If they are too young to stay by themselves… then you will most definitely need to hire a sitter/daycare.
I work during the day and husband worked nights. He was with them if they were sick during the day and I was with them at night. It worked for us for 11 years. Now he’s trucking and I’m at work during the day and get off work when they’re getting home from school. And my mother will be with them in weekends when they’re home and I’m working.
Your husband needs to man up and appreciate the fact that you are raising his (and your) children! That is a full time job. Any other job you take should be considered an added blessing, but not an expectation.
I work for a company that seriously aides to women getting back into the work force. I’ve been out 12 years and just started working again. I get paid to drive my Jeep as it’s a bonus through the company. Where is she at and have her PM me. We have people everywhere she could meet with.
look he is the man he should be the one to make the money while you have a job at home taking care of those kiddos they come before all alse. he should get a second job not you .
As a mother, you do work. Everyday, night, holidays & etc. That alone is more than a full time job. Waking the kids up for school, homework, supper, laundry, dishes, and much more. Then you go to a part time job where I’m sure it’s very demanding (most jobs are). I mean you could find a different job (which I’m not sure of the opportunities of where you stay), and be able to be home with the kids. Which that alone is very difficult to do and find these days. As far as being wrong. NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! He seems to be very demanding in my opinion, and honestly seems like a jerk. He knew the situation when he had kids, and should take that into consideration. I mean you also have work from home jobs, but finding a legit one seems difficult as well. I wish you luck, and hope all works out. Seems like to me your husband should take your place for about a week then maybe his outlook would differ?..
I’m wondering how much your husband contributes to the care of the children. Making them sit at husband’s job is just a big no. So many things can happen leaving them where they are not being watched. If you do work you need a reliable sitter then that costs will probably cut into any profit from you working. Staying at home with kids is great and you will never regret it. Your husband needs to look at the whole situation as to what’s involved with you getting a job. Your job is caring for your family and it also makes your husband able to get to work without him doing laundry or other duties the wife would do. A mom and wife has a full time job just caring for her family. He just doesn’t realize how you make his life so much easier.
For many people this is reality.
Quite a few kids get out of school and go to their parents work.
Is it boring? Sure. Is it going to hinder them? No.
In all honesty, having been a business owner, an employee, etc, it is quite difficult to guarantee hours to someone that calls out often.
It sounds like you’re fully aware this situation isn’t going to change soon, so find something more flexible, perhaps nights,
start your own business…
Sit down and make a long list of what you do all day as a mother and wife. Then get estimates of what these things would cost if you had a professional do it, ie cleaners clothing and house, chef or cook at restaurant, waitress wages, taxi driver, etc. add them all together and hand him a bill
My husband and I worked opposite shifts for YEARS