My husband’s mom and sisters all live in Mexico. My father-in-law, unfortunately, passed away last year, leaving my husband 100% financially responsible for my mother-in-law. That’s no problem, given that before we got married, he told me that he supported his parents financially to a certain extent. I was okay with this because I already came with a four-year-old daughter. (My husband is the only son, he has four sisters.) two are married, but only one is well off financially thanks to her husband. Sadly, the other three live with his mom and have been living with them for a long time. A little background, one of his sisters, is 37 with her husband; he’s 45 and 3 kids, ages 22, 20, and 12. The second sister living with my mother-in-law is 33, a single mom with a 12 yo. And the third, a single mom of 2 Shes 40, has a 24 and 18 yo. None of my sisters-in-law has worked a day in their life. Now, I have recently found out that the money that my husband sends to his mom is being used for the house bills where all of these people live, which is not fair since my mil is providing a roof over their heads. The least they can do is pay the bills for this poor woman. We recently sent money so she can fix her papers and come visit her son since my husband can not travel to Mexico. I am currently pregnant with his second child, and my mil is due to come around the birth of our baby. I don’t want her to come because that means I will have to entertain her while she’s here, and I’ll be two weeks postpartum. It sounds mean, but this will be the 3rd c section, and with my second c section, I was in and out for at least a month. My incision opened twice because my mom and aunts had covid and could not tend to me during this time. So I had to do everything on my own while my husband worked. I keep telling my husband that I won’t tend to my mil because I will have a six yo in school, a baby of 16 months, and a newborn. He says that I’m selfish and that I’m being exaggerated. I understand it’s been 10+ years that he hasn’t seen his mom, and I feel for him, but this isn’t the time to have guests. Now, it has just been brought to my attention that two of his sisters want to come. The sister that is well off having her husband plus five kids and one of his kids, is engaged, so the fiancé will be joining them as well. And the sister that has the 12 yo all want to come to our home also “vacation.” I have told my husband many times that I can not entertain his family since I will have just given birth. I’ve tried to explain this to him many times, but I don’t know what else to do to make him understand that a c section recovery isn’t easy. His sisters plan on staying for two weeks, and his mom doesn’t want to go back after she comes. Or so I’ve been told. And they will have to stay with us to save money. I’m seriously debating on divorcing him, but I love him so much and have achieved so much together that I don’t want to let it all go just for this. Can y’all please give me some advice on what to do? I’ve been so stressed about this my hair has been falling off. I will greatly appreciate it.
Make them stay elsewhere, not in your home.
If he doesn’t understand that you need space after giving birth then he can take off work and deal with it himself.
Idk, you would be surprised on how helpful most mother in laws are. Mine has helped me so much with my kids and I am grateful. I don’t need to entertain her or take care of her. When I am sick she even takes care of me. Untill you know how the living situation will be I would say just wait. Plus her being there means him not sending money to the ones that don’t want to work. As far as the sister in law. Ugh no.
You’re recovery comes first and it is not your job to tend to people. If it were me, I would go stay with my mom with the kids while I recover.
Seems the in-laws will help you while you heal
But I do understand the staying situation bc I’ve been there before with the Inlaws
Tell him that you cant have everyone there when you are recovering. That its major surgery and if he cant see that then you guys have a big problem. If he insists on them coming tell him then you wont be there. You will go elsewhere, with your family or wherever. And if he chooses them over you then you may not have a relationship anymore.
I would try to delay the visit until you are recovered and ready for visitors. Maybe 2 months after…
I would be cool with the mom coming. The others though…not so much… Why do you feel like you will have to entertain his mother in law? She will probably help you out.
Your mil is going to be thrill to be there and help you and the grandchildren… Spanish ppl are like that… why do you have to entertain them…
Yes try and delay , but I can’t imagine how he feels not seeing his mom for 10+yrs. he also just lost his father recently .
I would go as far as having only the mother coming and staying. The sisters and their family, a huge nope.
You dont have to “entertain” mil. She may just be more helpful than a “burden”.
If you’ve already given birth via csection with y’alls 1st, I dont see how he doesnt know the recovery process. Some men can be so hard headed. Talk some more and come to a mutual understanding on who can come and when. It sounds like taking in the mil would be much easier though
I have a Hispanic family in law and they are the most amazing people and are so helpful. When I’m sick they take my kids, make us dinners, and come clean our house and yard. I think your MIL would be much more of a help than a burden.
𝑼𝒓 𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 2𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 … 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒖
I would put it off until the baby is a few months old. Last thing you need is exposing the baby to stress, or things hes too young to be vaccinated for yet. I wouldn’t be tolerating guests in my home after having another csection until I was on my feet and settled in.
I’d ok it for the mother in law, I mean if you want your mother around after guving birth (as stated when you complained she couldn’t be last time) why can’t his mother be around. With that said you also complained about all the other people at her house you are keeping by sending her money, letting her live with you means he will only be providing for her again I don’t see what’s wrong with that, she will probably be helpful with you and the baby. She’s planning to be at the very least why else would she decide to visit and stay a while when the baby is due, she wants to help and support your family be grateful. As for everyone else ask them to come a month or 2 later you don’t need extra children running around, you are grateful they want to support you but would prefer to be feeling better first
You have never spent time with his family, but yet you are debating leaving him if they come and visit?
Too many people coming around a newborn from another country during a world wide pandemic. (That would be my excuse.) I don’t see a problem with the MIL coming. Like stated above, she would probably be more of a blessing than a burden. But, I would definitely wait a couple months for the rest of the family to come. You also have to take into consideration that where they are from it is very very common for such a big family to be under one roof. I see his point but I also see your point too. It’s definitely something y’all need to sit down and come up with a comprise.
Have them come visit and don’t entertain… Take a nap when baby naps, have them cook. You already said your piece, you don’t want to, so don’t. Just like you don’t want to divorce him over this do you really think he’s going to divorce you if you don’t entertain considering that you just had a baby. Why don’t you tell him to take some time off work so he can entertain.
Wow what a mess…you could make this situation a positive one…and maybe these family members can help u out quite a bit. Or u could call them directly, and cancel the arrangements and explain it to them, how u did to us. I don’t think ur wrong for not wanting company immediately after the birth of ur child. Ur husband sounds like a prick and I’d be giving his ass an ultimatum very soon. If anyone came to visit…I would just make it his mother. Not the bum sisters. Good luck.
Honestly I’d of divorced him by now. Your health comes first and sounds like they don’t care about you and just want to free load forever. Cut ties with them and create a better future for your children
My ex husbands mother is one of the most important people in my life. When my son was born, I was scared. I didn’t know how to be a mom necessarily and I was terrified I wouldn’t do a good job. This woman lives two hours away, two weeks out of the month she comes up to watch our son for his father so he can stay with his dad 50/50. When I have no one to turn to, she is always there with no hesitation. Even after the divorce she still holds me close and treats me well. I love her dearly even if me and her son weren’t meant to be together. MIL’s are blessing in disguises sometimes. I’d let her come, she’s old, she’s lonely and just lost her husband. I’m sure all she wants more than anything is to be around her son and her new grand baby. You have to understand you guys are the only ones who don’t use and abuse her and who actually appreciate her and worry for her well being. The people she lives with now don’t do that, I’m sure she’s not gonna wanna leave. Who wants to be in their older ages with a houseful of other people raising children who always rely on her. Put your foot down about the sisters, I do agree they’re adults and need to stay home. It’s a newborn baby, COVID wasn’t around yet when my son was born but I still kept him away from people for a few months because I didn’t want him to get something from someone else that young. My son got so sick at 2 months old because I let to many people hold him and touch him. He couldn’t breath for almost a week and a half. I don’t blame you for not wanting to see your baby go through that. But please also be considerate of the fact he hasn’t seen his mom in years and he also just lost his dad. Maybe this is more for your partner than it is for you. Xoxo, your health matters momma, I just think you should also take his feelings into account, especially about his mother. Cause if the shoe was on the other foot, what would you expect him to do.
I’d be showing him a video of a c-section from start to finish and ask if he would like to entertain 10+ guests after that as well as care for 3 kids. His mother maybe but the whole brady bunch? No way
With hispanic families the majority of the time if your mil is around youre not tending to her shes tending to you! Every time we visit my mil shes always making sure we have food, drink, and that we are comfortable, even when shes at our house!. I can only imagine how his mom will be towards her son who she hasnt seen in a long time and you as well! Plus after all yall have done for her im sure shes appreciative. Theres a reason shes coming around the birth of your baby, most likely to help you out. Id give her a chance. Now, as to the other people who knows their intentions might be to help too. I would ask to see what their intentions are because hispanic families are very helpful. However with all the children/people I can see why you might want space. As to divorcing it seems too drastic you’re husband was pretty upfront about his whole family situation so there are no surprises there. Its a disagreement yall can work through. But im still a 100% his mom will help
Turn it around so instead of ‘entertaining them’ say ‘I’d love you to come - I can rest from my operation while you guys cook & clean for me & hubby while we care and bond with the new baby!
Woah goodluck and may the force be with you
Your selfish what if that were your mother. And I had a c section and my husband was back to work when I came home.
Don’t start it. They will expect it until she passes. Trust me. I did.
Tell him he can stay home to entertain them because under no circumstances are you going to do this. Like it or tell him to leave. You do not want this after just have a c-section I know what you are saying I had 3 and each one is harder than the previous one. If he doesn’t understand he doesn’t care about your feelings. I had a hard enough time looking after the baby and my other 2 children and I don’t know what I would have done without my mom’s help during the day.
Also, under no circumstances did I want any company.
Tell him to co sign for them to get a apartment…and put them in a hotel until then. Tell everyone how u feel and don’t feel ashamed
Oh no, especially the non working sisters and their families! Mom should be welcomed and it should be explained to her that you will be bonding and resting with your baby along with caring for other children. She could be a help to you. If he insists on them coming, he can find somewhere else for his family to stay! He would be served his divorce papers there!
I think the mil should be welcome at your home with the understanding that you won’t be up to entertaining. She may be willing to help you out while you are recovering. Now the others, no way. That’s entirely too much with you recovering and a newborn. Plus with covid I wouldn’t want that many people in my home.
1). Either he stays home to entertain them, or they don’t come.
2). Have your doctor tell him off.
3). You cannot have that many people around a newborn in the middle of a pandemic.
4). Tell him no or else.
And feel free to read all our responses to him. He’s being selfish and thoughtless. His mom by herself should be fine, and could be a help, but heck no to the rest.
Ok so is your husband just going to ignore the fact that we are STILL in a pandemic? Mexico has so many cases not reported!!! Also, you can not have so many people around you or your newborn!!!
I would start by having him watch a c section being performed. Then watch another video of a doctor describing restrictions after surgery. I personally would be ok with MIL coming as I feel like she is going to want to help you. All the rest no. That is to many other little germy hands to risk a new born to as well as you right afterwards. Remind him of the issues you had before. And if he is sure to bring all the others as well then I would be packing mine and your others bags and maybe staying with one of your relatives for a few weeks after?
A C-section is considered major surgery. You need time to heal. I would never let that many people come into my home Especially with covid. If the one daughter is well off they can afford a hotel. I would honestly lock myself in the bedroom and let him deal with it. All you are responsible for is you and your babies. Yall send them money and everything else. You shouldn’t have to be a maid to them too.
Pandemic or not you should never have a newborn around that many people you technically don’t even know 10 years?
Wow he does not have a clue of what’s happening how old is this mom and sisters you have family have someone in your family come in they can stay in Mexico till Christmas
A grandmother wants to come and be around when granchild is born? I wont judge because there are always two sides to every story. Yours could be hormone driven and your husband being from another culture is part of. They are family oriented. Not just immediate family but parents and siblings. You both need to look at it from each others point of view. Sounds like maybe you could both be selfish. But, as I said two sides…
Don’t let her come you already have so much to do with the other kids and the new born baby to come what help will she give when she comes around instead she will just be on the list of what do and attend to her wants and your husband is not being fair
He sounds like a narcissist and his family isn’t any better. Obviously none of them truly care about you in this situation. New baby and recovery mama should always come first. If him and his family aren’t willing to postpone the vacation to ease the stress off of you and the new baby. They’re not worth having around
Seems to me you need four own vacation while they are in town. That is selfish for your husband to put you in that situation. It’s not like she can’t come another time when it would be better.
Um u need rest after c section, NOT tending to grown adults who are lazy!
As a veteran of 3 c-sections myself, all I can say is…Wow. He’s being selfish. A c-section is considered MAJOR surgery, and requires up to 6 weeks to heal. To avoid complications, perhaps it’s time your hubby hear it direct from your OB’s mouth?
This kind of stress is not healthy for your baby, either. So, you may have to make the tough choice and tell him that if he can’t or won’t back off, then he needs to leave, and he can entertain his family elsewhere. The health of your child trumps his uninformed desires.
I would talk too him again and tell him that if they come your considering divorce
You’re being selfish? Wow! You have your answer.
Yeah. Divorce is the best option.
If I were you, I’d speak directly to the family. Tell them that since you just gave birth, they will have to fend for themselves. Most Hispanic women understand birth and post-partum pretty well; I know, having lived in Mexico for five years. Then, don’t stress about it and enjoy your baby.
Reading this stressed me out!! Seems to me he doesn’t care to much about your health as long as he’s pleasing his family!! Personally I would be gone!! What’s gonna happen is they’re gonna come down there and live off of y’all and none of them will probably never go back!!
C section is hard been through that! And having people over is too much! The family need to respect that and not show up till you fully recover! You’re not being selfish he’s being selfish! That’s outrageous on them! Put your foot down and say no especially with a newborn and covid! You don’t know what germs they’ll bring!
I mean personally i think it would be a great opportunity to get to know his family. As you stated he hasn’t even seen them in ten years. Yes you will be having them over after you have given birth but that sounds like a village right in your home to help support your needs as a mom and pitch in when you need it. If this is the only situation making you consider divorce then I would take a look inwards and find out what the deeper reason is. I would look at this as a blessing and an opportunity. Not a divorce case because his family is coming into town after being separated from him for ten years. Just my personal opinion.
You don’t think they will help you out since you just had the baby? Have you talked to your MIL? And how does she just plan on staying? Her visa will only last but so long. And why can’t he just buy the tickets for a couple of more weeks after?
I will suggest you ask if they can come visit after you have recovered from your c. Sec.
Unless she is planning on helping ease your burden, your husband needs to be more considerate of you. A partnership isn’t where one person makes all the choices without input from the other.
You’re definitely not being selfish. That sounds not fun at all even if you weren’t about to have a baby. Where does you husband plan on putting everyone? He is being completely inconsiderate of your feelings. However do you think MIL could be helpful? Help with kids, cook, Clean? The rest of the family coming is definitely to much and shouldn’t even have been brought up thats to much to deal with. And he’s wrong to even consider that would be a good idea after you just had a baby.
First of all… C-section is no fun. This is a major surgery that REQUIRES rest and help with other kids for at least the 6weeks of healing. Your kids cannot take care of themselves because of their age. For at least the first 3 weeks, you should not drive or pick up heavy objects. Too much exertion after surgery can pop the stitches and that is no fun either.
Hubby needs to watch videos on this subject and should talk to my husband.
As far as you catering to your MIL after surgery, hmm, that is a negetory! Seriously the first week is hard as it is with trying to nurse a baby and keeping the both of you healthy. SLEEP, you need sleep! You won’t have much energy for much of the first week let alone with other littles in the house is going to be a challenge In itself. Putting a MIL within all of this and expecting you cater to her at the same time is not right. If she wants to come have her understand you will need help. Help would be much appreciated and maybe sometime after the 6weeks of healing you could treat her with an outing (etc).
Now about the rest of the family. I would say NO! They could come for a couple of days and possibly help but no other kids and they need to pay their way If they are well off and stay somewhere else. I know that family is very important in husband’s community but also a happy wife is also a happy life. I also can say that him hearing things like this from the doctor would also help.
My husband thought with our first Rainbow Baby that I would be able to pop-up and go but after the surgery I was so week and needed help. I couldn’t drive for at least 4weeks. I was able to take care of myself and the baby with his help in feeding the baby a pumped bottle so I could produce more healthy milk. Family helped us with dropping food of that was simple and easy to reheat. Showers became a luxury thing. With our second Rainbow Baby it was harder because not only did I have a toddler I also had a newborn. I had to have the same help as before but also had to find a way for my first to get to preschool. Thank goodness my husband took time off of work to take the first child until my recovery and doc allowed me to drive.
Again the expectation of husband having you to cater to his family in my opinion is just not right. And to expect you to have these other family members stay in your home is preposterous. Your home is already full (assumption) and to have more chaos can heavily disrupt in many ways your place privacy.
- The sisters need to grow up. 2. You dont need to be “tended” to after a csection, just helped some. 3. Not your responsibility to tend to anyone other than yourself and kids. 4. Tell him he can tend to all of them, that your not
And why are we all trying to bombard a mother, with a newborn with 20 family members. I doubt anyone is vaccinated for COVID.
unfortunately he will continue to support his sisters that live in the same house and that will never change. Even if you were to hold your breath. Also you mil being here I highly doubt you will be tending to her needs. I can guarantee she will help you with everything if she’s a nice mil. Good luck!
They will come to take care of u and baby. Let that be known. And it doesn’t take that long to recover from a c section. I was out shopping right after being released from having my twin c section.
Ask him if he’d like to have major abdominal surgery and entertain 10 people right after. Remind him again that this is MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY and you’re really not supposed to do anything for at least 6 weeks
DON’T entertain them tell your husband YOURE not doing anything but taking care of your newborn and other children If they want to eat they can cook and clean up after themselves. Your ONLY priority is your kids
Or maybe you get the help you need after having a csection? Your assuming what may or may not happen. They may show you a thing or 2.
I wouldn’t be okay with having so many people around me with a newborn baby during a pandemic, let alone after literally being cut open. Mother in law might be helpful though with the excitement of seeing her son & helping with her new grandkid. Unless she’s one of those people who want all their needs tended to when they’re a guest anywhere. It doesn’t seem that way if anything it sounds like she’s a nurturer and probably already helping her other kids. If it comes down to it would you be able to stay with your mom or aunt for the 2 weeks his family’s visiting? You can get a break and less people while he has quality time with his family. Idk just an idea.
I don’t see a problem with Mil coming I mean she will treat u like her daughter she will baby u. Hispanic mils are the best. Tell his sister’s they can wait a couple months after so u can have time n baby will at least have his shots
What a beautiful man you have to take care of his family and who wouldn’t want someone there helping especially after a c section with other kids around. My mil was my savior when the babies were little
Most the time they will tend to you . You would be surprised. If not don’t entertain them . Take care of you . But if he anit seen his momma in 10 years don’t take that away .
After I had my son (csection gone completely wrong). My mil came from Mexico and did absolutely everything for me, cooked, cleaned, helped me shower, folded laundry, entertained my other children. I owe her so much
Just ask him to compromise and have him wait a few more weeks. You need time to heal and recover. I do agree it could be some help for you if your husband doesn’t plan on taking time off to help you. You cannot lift anything heavier than your newborn for six weeks. Even if the house is falling apart you need to focus on your healing. Don’t push yourself to do all the house work. Your husband needs to pick up some slack and help as well so you don’t have any issues with your incision. That’s a lot of people to have in your home after just having surgery. Maybe just suggest only his mother coming for a few weeks before his sisters come.
I’m the one with the family that lives out of state, literally my entire family. I would give anything to see them regardless. I see where you’re coming from and where he is coming from. Have you met her yet? Maybe she will become your best friend and be so incredibly helpful. Maybe it doesn’t work out and you can talk with your husband about that when and if that time comes. I say just give it a chance and see where it goes. Think positive that maybe she will cook you the most amazing dinners and tend to that wild little 16 month old while you sit somewhere quiet and feed the newborn. It could be good things too. Don’t put all bad in your head
It takes a full year to completely heal from a c section–at least 8 weeks to be able to care for your other children and home. No one should ever be expected to care for anyone else while healing from major surgery–the only people allowed in the home should be those who are willing to take care of you!
You would really think divorce because he wants to see his mom. Really. Suck it up. They may be more help then you know. You just do what you normally would. They are adults they can fend for them self.
Why use the divorce card? Is that really a reason to divorce. Just tell the well off sister that she and the other sister will have to find a hotel nearby. As far as the mil I agree and it works both ways. When by DIL had her c section I stepped in with her 7 yr old and supported her made the meals and got the boys breakfast lunch and dinner for everyone. But it works both ways I was sick a few years back and she would literally drop everything just to come visit and help me out but mostly just to feel the void of Human connection. Today she is not with my son but our bond is so strong. She also has 2 of my favourite people in the entire world my grandsons. Sorry the divorce thing just threw me off. Ugh
Honestly I don’t see anything wrong with the mother-in-law coming maybe she will be a big help but as far as the others They can wait. I have to agree with some of what some of the other people wrote. If you are thinking about divorcing your husband simply because he has family that wants to come there than there are probably deeper problems going on. Yes I do think your husband needs to be more understanding especially as far as the other people wanting to come. But if your mother-in-law wants to come she may like I said end up being a big help to you
They are from Mexico so it will be different from there! His mom, if im not wrong, will do most or even everything for you and the kids! Your mil will want to spoil your husband. In latin culture we have quarantine after giving birth meaning staying at home just taking care of the newborn, I suggest talking to your mil and to be open minded. You are stressing too much before they really coming. About his sisters i would tell your husband its not the right time yet, that they are welcome after some weeks that you want to get to know your mil without other people and also enjoy your time with the baby and kids
1 I would stop giving them money. Bunch of lazy assholes.
Kick your selfish husband out
Are they gonna get tested before they come if they do nothimg when home you expect them to help you I think not
When i had breast cancer my hubby had family that wanted to come visit i wasnt up to visitors while going through treatment i told him im not having visitors because im not wearing a bra so dont let anyone come he listened and i recovered happily on our own thankgod he wasnt silly like your husband
Let the MIL come the rest of the family would be a no. They can come another time. Have her test for covid when she comes.
I understand not wanting the whole family but if it was your mom would she be welcomed? MIL is grown you wouldn’t have to tend to her like a child. Csections are not that bad…
Maybe just ask him if it can just be his mother for now . So there won’t be alot of people around the baby and so you can recover . Or if you can go stay with your mom while you recover . If his whole family is gonna be there he needs to stay home while they are there .
I would make a group chat with those family members that want to stay. with clear expectations that you will be recovering from major surgery and you WILL not be hosting at all they are to clean and cook for themselves you will be doing none of it. They are expected to do their own grocery shopping and helping with the other kids if they ate going to blow your house up so soon after surgery. You need to lay boundaries out with your husband and his family and tell his family this directly because he’s not going to tell them
I understand where your coming from but he hasn’t seen his mom is 10+ years which is probably killing him inside. You sound so bitter if your thinking of divorcing him over this. Not anyone’s fault your pregnant not anyone’s fault your previous insecions opened up. You made alot of unnecessary points in this post. I see literally no issue in his mom coming to visit, she may be very helpful you don’t know.
First off, is his mother healthy? Or will she be a burden? If she is healthy, she may be a huge help for you. Mexican mother’s love to cook and clean. Whenever my mother in law would come over I used to have to ask her to relax because she always tried to clean. Do you know her? If he hasn’t seen her in ten years, is it also uncomfortable for you because you won’t be able to do as much as a hostess? I am introvert so I completely understand. I hate unexpected guests, no matter who they are and after entertaining for a day I get mentally exhausted. I bet as a new mom you want to just enjoy your new baby and your other children. Your husband is being an ass. If he can wait ten years what’s another month?! As for the sisters that’s insane! Idk how big your house is but you mentioned one has five kids and her husband! Fuck that! I would die. Maybe if it was one family of like four but that’s seven people and not including the mother in law and other sis in law and her kids. I don’t blame you. They need to get a hotel!
I completely understand what u must be feeling, I wouldn’t want anyone over after the birth of my baby either; unless it’s my mother ! C section is not easy ! I had 3 and it is hard to recover after even more so with 2 other little ones and having to do everything, I think ur husband just doesn’t understand like most, I’m sorry your going through this. I don’t have much advice for u unfortunately bt if it was me I would stand my ground and if u don’t like it then bye. Good luck
Try to meet him in the middle, maybe his mom can come and she could be a huge help with the kids (depending on what MIL you have) I recovered PP c-section alone during the height of covid, and it was my first child, I can’t imagine what you will be going through with 3! she might be just the help you need. His family should not be planning a vacation to come see you right after surgery and the birth of your child. suggest that they come 4-6 weeks after your MIL does.
If he intends on his mother staying, he needs to be 100% upfront with you.
Wow divorce? Your MIL is Mexican and if you just had your baby then she expects you to stay in bed and home for 40 days so no you won’t need to entertain her. Your MIL will care for you and your baby and you will rest. Sister in law coming also, now you have plenty to help with the
your other child. Contemplating divorce because your MIL is coming sounds pretty selfish.
Let momma come. Im.sure she will be a blessing. As for the others let him know they’re not welcome right now.
Everyone is stressing about the C section…giving birth period is a lot on the mom…natural or not…me personally it wouldn’t happen at all unless the MIL is there to help not be a burden…the rest of the family is a no go… family & economics are the leading reasons for divorce. My husband knows better anyway…certain thing’s are non negotiable…marriage is hard as it is…I’m NOT letting anyone add to it period.
You honestly think that your Mil will not help you, then you do not know the mexican culture of the mil because she will take care of you .
If they come you do not have to entertain them your husband should thats his family especially since your going to be healing from having his baby and your husband sounds very selfish and honestly sounds disrespectful
Or are you being childish and should get over yourself
You need to stand up for yourself. Tell them point blank that only your MIL can stay over. If the rest insist on coming then they can stay in a hotel. That’s just too many people over in a pandemic. They’re all old enough to look after themselves
Divorce over this!!??? Girl, get a real problem. I completely understand your frustration. Bad timing, poor decisions on his part, rude on their part. But, really it’s been 10 years since he’s seen his mother. Just talk to the guests, maybe they will want to help. Maybe they will reconsider the amount of people visiting or the timing.
Hubby should take leave when the family come over so they can all help with the kids and entertain each other while Mom recovers.
Why are you making it a bad thing about his family coming. They can help with the kids cleaning house and cooking so I dont get the issue. You wanna get a divorce over his family coming to see him that he hasnt saw in 10 years. If I was ur husband he needs to file for divorce.
I think you’re thinking to much on this… I started dating my current bf over 3 years ago. I have a 7yo and we have a 1yo. His family are all from Mexico. Most of his immediate family are here in the US now. In December we moved to Texas closer to his family. I was nervous leaving everything I knew behind, my mom always acted like it was horrible for anyone to ask her for help and she would drag you for anything she helped you with, constantly hold it against you, gossip to others how she does this and that and no one appreciates her etc. Even if you pay her back or help her in return nothing was ever good enough. Now my bfs family on the other hand… they are amazing it’s a love I’ve never seen before. Nothing is a burden to them. They all take care of each other and that’s okay they are family. You don’t need to “entertain” them. Just let them in and let them help you. That’s all they want I guarantee you. They want to help take care of you and the baby not burden you let them come help you! And him sending money to his mom while his sisters live there to pay Bills for all of them should not be a problem life there is different it’s not like it is here. Work can be really hard or nonexistent depending on where you live especially for women. I’m glad they have your husband to help them.