You married into the wrong culture if this is how you think… divorce him please so he can find someone who will love his family. They are not bad people. This is literally what Hispanic culture is.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t want anyone at my house after giving birth to my child. My home my rules
5 Likes
Tell them no .and that maybe after the baby is 2 or 3 mo
1 Like
Honestly I’m with you on this I wouldn’t want a lot of people in my home after having a baby at all especially during a pandemic to and than a c section the heck no and honestly he’s being the selfish one because you need to recover first and than there’s a pandemic going on and not thinking of his family putting his family at risk and a newborn the heck no no way would I’d deal with that myself granted he may miss his mom I don’t blame him on that but he could definitely wait until your doing better and seems like he would not want to put any of his family at risk with this pandemic 
and all those others don’t need to be coming either that’s way to much a risk but I’d definitely run if he can’t respect that
4 Likes
Just hire someone to come over fr 2 months. If U have to take care of her for the rest of Her life He will be saving tons. Don’t ask Do it for Your Health. Obviously he don’t care if Your insides rip trying to care for an Adult and a child. I’ll say a Prayer that You come to Your senses. And not injure Yourself for others that won’t take time off to Help His own Mother.
2 Likes
Learn the mexican culture. You will be treated like a queen. 10 years. My hubs would divorce me if I said no his family couldn’t come. I think I would suck it up and enjoy the visit
1 Like
Too risky to have so many people visiting if your spouse doesn’t like your decision let him entertain them and you take your kids on a nice long vacation until everybody goes home
Are you able to go somewhere else? like to the home of a family member you trust to stay for awhile while your husband entertains and tends to his family?
Ask your husband if She can help you with the kids while you are recuperating. Call your mil and tell her you are so happy and really appreciate she’s coming to help you with the baby and kids ( so she mentally prepares for it)
And be clear about not being the best time for the big group to come right now but you will happily open your house to them in a future occasion.
You can also talk to your Dr so he can explain to your husband the kind of care you will need after the C section so he and his mom can help you and you can rest
1 Like
I would definitely be telling them they have to stay elsewhere, a hotel or something if u r not comfortable with it, his mother coming would probably be a huge help to u and the kids but everyone else would not be able to come especially around the baby with covid going on
Ask him to ask he’s mother if she can help you and Bubs or help with the other kids so you can heal faster.
1 Like
Your mother in law? yes. Everyone else?no.
2 Likes
- Mexico has a high number of cases of Covid
- have your doctor tell him what the restrictions are after having a c-section
- you shouldn’t have that many people around you when you have a new born during a pandemic
- he’s selfish. Have him take off and take care of his mama you have enough to do
The whole thing sounds ridiculous. If anyone visits, it should only be to help you and allow you the time to heal, rest, and bond with your baby. In no way should you have to cater to them. And as others mentioned above, the number of guests should be minimal. Vacations can happen at any time. The Dr. needs to have a serious discussion with him regarding your restrictions and priorities, including the fact that your husband’s first priority is your health and wellness and ability to be a good mom. Nothing else matters here.
6 Likes
The mother in law, sure. It maybe extreamly annoying. But at the end of the day that’s his mom…but the other 6 people can wait. The others can come up some other time. Thats way to many people. Making way to much noise around a newborn, when ur running on no sleep and recovering. Absolutely not.
1 Like
Yes to the mother in law visiting UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES that she fully understands that you CANNOT entertain. Coming from a large family myself, I could see how everyone wants to come by and vacation, but if they could stay elsewhere and only come over here and there to help YOU with the baby and YOUR errands then it would be ok. How stressful. I’m so sorry you are put in this situation. I hope your MIL understands and doesn’t even have to be told that you cannot entertain her.
2 Likes
Nope. If attach some pliers to his balls and ask how willing he is to help in that state.
1 Like
So for those who don’t understand. Hispanic families always come in groups. They are traditionally old school. Which means the son her husband was taught to never say no to the family. On top of that, it is expected for him to help the family. You will not convince him in any way. FYI a white woman married to a Hispanic man. She needs to put her foot down and say no. Or go to her moms if it is an option.
4 Likes
The mother in law, could actually be of help to you, with your other kids while you are healing and your husband is at work. The others need to be respectful and not come at that time because you are healing, especially with that many kids coming.
1 Like
With covid I’d say no just on principal it has died down but still. Newborns dont have any immunity until atleast 1st check up and can take atleast 6 weeks 2 be able 2 fight any kind of infection. 2nd having a csection and my tubes tied at the same time, I couldnt sleep in my own bed or barely even walk let alone get off the couch by myself 2 get my kids. I had a 5 year old at the time in school so I know it’s hard. I cant imagine having 2 others 2 deal with while trying 2 recover from a third c section. Men really dont understand being cut from hip 2 hip fuckin hurts. If ur financially having 2 take care of the mother I’d say if she isnt already legal get her legalized and move here in with u guys. The others need 2 fend 4 themselves they are more than old enough 2 do so. I are not just supporting the mother ur supporting a house of people who are grown. She could be a big help but extra family when a newborn is around is just a pain in the butt. If he cant respect the fact u dont want 2 entertain extra family then can u go 2 ur parents where there isnt extra going on?
1 Like
Sounds like this is all perfectly normal for your husbands culture which is why he sees nothing wrong with it, I doubt you’ll convince him otherwise so you will either have to resign yourself to being a ‘recovering from fresh surgery’ hostess to a bunch of freeloaders or find somewhere else for you and your kids to stay and recover while they visit
1 Like
The sisters can help with mother and you can avoid them by staying in bed as you shouldn’t be up anyway right, its two weeks, that will fly by. He hasn’t seen them in 10 years!! You sound selfish, dramatic, and I think the real issue is how he supports them, but if you knew that before why is it a problem now?
Besides the sisters can help with household needs, probably eat some good food for two weeks 
A C-section is major surgery, your body needs time to heal. Your partner needs to put your health and the babies health above anything else.
I’d pack my bags and get tf out 
I think the best advice is to let his MIL come help you after your surgery, since I am sure she understands. Tell the rest of the family that they need to get a hotel if they want to visit. Your husband must love you, so don’t leave, but instead talk it out with him. You, your husband, and your marriage is worth that much. That will probably be very hard. Pray hard and ask God’s advice. I’ll be praying for you to have strength and for your family, too.
Nope nope nope nope nope. WAY too many people around a newborn during COVID-19. Even without COVID-19, that situation is still a HUGE nope. Let them sign a hotel. If they have money to travel then they have money for a hotel. Your husband can still see them, but you are going to need his full attention to help with the children and give you a chance to heal.
I’d leave. You deserve respect
You definitely should draw the line at mom coming. Just let mom come and the others stay behind. You need rest and recovery but maybe mom can offer some help to you.
1 Like
You need to have him go to the dr. With you and have him explain to your husband how serious a c section is. I have had 2 and it’s major surgery you know already. Tell him to have his family come a couple of months later. What’s a few months. If he doesn’t do that then I would question his caring about you. If he truly cares about you he would change the arrangements.
1 Like
Go stay with your mother while they are visiting and get some rest. Take your children with you leave your husband to entertain his family when they leave you and your kids go home.
3 Likes
He probably wants his mom to come to help you out. Mexican culture they believe you should rest 40 day recovery. Not doing any hard house chores.
He doesn’t care about your feelings, wishes or health. That is your answer.
Let grandma come. Let grandma help you while he is working. Get to know her while she is there. Then draw the line on anyone else coming.
Why can’t he visit mom
Wooow! I’m outraged just reading your situation! That is very unreasonable given your health history, and current impending birth. I would not want family being guests in my house unless they are going to follow through with helping out with household chores and entertaining the children letting you sleep…which most likely won’t happen! Why can’t they visit AFTER your recovery?? Definitely don’t let them in, because then you will be stuck with them living with you forever. They can find a hotel and visit from there!
They may be the best blessing in Disguise for you at this time. If it don’t work they can stay in a hotel.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones cuz my husband’s mother she loves to come and help out and she does a lot of the cooking and cleaning when she’s here so I mean I think your mother-in-law will come and help you out while you’re down having your baby
Tell him they can come you and the new baby and will go stay with a friend whosr agreed to help you get back on your feet. Since he wants them to visit he can take care of other children and entertain his family. He can call you to come back home the day after they leave. See what his reaction is then.
2 Likes
IMO, being that they’re Mexican (and so am I) I’m sure your mil will help you out during this time more than being a burden on you. We women tend to look out for one another after delivering our children. We take the 40 days post-partum seriously.
3 Likes
No, no and no you just had a baby. Adamant no. They will get over it.
Let them come, and when they arrive they can tend to you! Don’t do a thing!
As someone who has been married for 31 years, divorce should not be on the table unless abuse, infidelity, etc. imo. Marriage is maneuvering the challenging seasons. You’re having one of those. Compromise is huge, if possible. Maybe agreeing to MIL coming with the expectation of helping out with the grandkids, etc. Pushing out the date for the visit? Maybe explain to him that you aren’t against her coming, but there needs to compromise on when and who will come. Aggression breeds aggression and you catch more bees with honey 
Maybe explain that the trip may be wasted for MIL if it is stressful and you all won’t be able to go have fun together if you’re recovering and the baby is too small to take out. Think like a grown boy, lol.
Take advantage of having the extra help around! I’m sure they won’t end up being a burden. I’m sure it will be quite the opposite.
Mil comes w/sis in law. You go to friends or your family for the time you are healing. Take newborn with you.
i had 3 c sections and i was up in within a few days!
The mother coming out to visit NOT LIVE WITH YOU, is one thing. She could in theory help you, do NOT feel the need to entertain, that time is about YOU. But I agree with you. Put your foot down, you don’t need a circus at your house while healing and adjusting. He is the selfish one for not understanding YOUR needs after what happens to YOUR body. And it is one thing to help out financially from afar but does he really expect to add all these people to your house hold!? Gah. That is rough. Lay out your boundaries and stick to em. If he’s not respecting your wishes and you cannot live that way, then I guess divorce and finding your sanctuary is best. I know I wouldn’t deal with it. Get this talk out and figure out what you’re gonna do before baby comes, cause you don’t need the added stress and nonsense when your little comes. I do not envy your situation and I hope it resolves the way you’d like. Good luck, stay strong
I say no visitors for 6 weeks after you have a baby your new baby and family should bond together you need to take care of yourself your family in laws all need to grow up and get jobs and help take care of mom and their own families! They can come visit at your invitation when your ready to deal with all that noise and Cayuse!
Oh hell no! A C-section is a major abdominal surgery. He should be taking time off of work to care for the kids so you don’t have to. You need help, not extra duties. Your husband and his family are insensitive and selfish. My Mexican husband and his family are the exact same way. It’s infuriating. Do you have family nearby that you can stay with until they leave?
I’m sorry this situation sucks. I would just explain to your husband that you won’t be ready for visitors after giving birth and that’s the end of it. Not only that, but we are in a pandemic and I wouldn’t want multiple people who just travelled to be near my newborn.
Ive had 2 c sections. I was up and taking care of my home within a few days DEFINITELY not a month. 2 weeks post partum is plenty of time to recover. The more you lay around with a c section the longer the recovery. Im not saying go mow the yard or run a marathon, but I was cooking dinner and such within the first few days.
As far as all the family coming I doubt they’ll want to just sit around your house all day. They’ll probably go out and explore like most do when they’re traveling so I doubt you’ll have to “entertain” them much and even if they are there they’ll probably be more help than burden.
As far as divorcing him for our that sounds pretty extreme to me. I honestly feel like you’re overthinking it.
You said you’re husband can’t travel to Mexico… 
I’m gonna leave that alone.
As far as the sister-in- laws they need to get jobs. Hopefully if your MIL stays it will force them to do that.
Sorry but I agree with your husband you’re being exaggerated. I know hormones are all over the place when you’re pregnant but don’t stress yourself out. It doesn’t benefit you or your baby. You got this.
2 Likes
Your husband is being really selfish, first off it’s not good for you or your newborn to have all that people in your home because of covid. All of them need to quarantine when they get there and shouldn’t be around you or the baby. All c-sections are different hopefully yours is a smooth recovery, seems like your husband ain’t gonna consider your well being and your gonna have to tend to his family…
I hope all goes well, hang in there.