I’d like to ask… … Is it wrong of me to be upset with my husband because he watches porno secretly every time I leave the house? We don’t watch porn together, and he doesn’t tell me he watches it; I went through his phone while he was drunk last night and seen he’s been watching it ALOT. Our sex life has been almost non-existent for a long time, I was thinking he was cheating. IDK how to feel about the porn but I know I’m not happy, especially with the secretary of it. Please give me some advice.
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If its interferring then there is a problem. Sit down and talk to him
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Go to the strip club with him. Watch with him
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If hes doing it alot, that’s a red flag
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If he’s not getting it at home he will find it somewhere else. Talk to him.
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Since it sounds like it may be interfering with your sex life its a problem. But you have to sit down and have a discussion about it. Maybe he is having some not so manly problems and is coping by using x films. I don’t think you have to watch it with him. And it can be healthy. But doesn’t sound like he’s doing it in a healthy way. But its not the end of the world. I wouldn’t be too upset just try to get to the bottom of it without completely freaking out.
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Dont go into his phone would be my first advice try to get him to open up about it without putting him under pressure .he may have an addiction to watching it for other reasons remember trust always works on both ways try suggesting talking to a professional together to find out reasons why
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Well… I’d rather him watch porn than cheat xx
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It could definitely be an addiction for him… or it just may be what he’s doing to satisfy himself since y’all aren’t intimate…Maybe just throw some on yourself one night try and spice it up for him and see if helps with your sex life.
Could be an extreme porn addition, Some people don’t realize it but watching too much porn can ruin, your actual sex life by not being able to stop thinking about porn, even when you’re not watching it.
You’re spending increasing amounts of time watching porn,
You watch porn at work, in public spaces, and in social situations where you could be seen.
You begin neglecting your responsibilities and even sleep to watch porn.
Without porn, sex is not enjoyable
You insist that your romantic partner watch with you or act out fantasies even if they don’t want to.
Hiding your porn-watching habits from your partner, family, or loved ones.
Feeling ashamed, guilty, or depressed about your porn habits.
You can’t stop watching despite the harm it is causing or has caused to your work life, social life, romantic and other relationships.
When someone asks you to cut back, you get upset.
You tried to quit but were unsuccessful.
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First it is NEVER “wrong” to feel a certain way about something.
Just because others might not doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
If it makes you uncomfortable that should be all that matters. It’s a video, that shouldn’t ever come before your needs.
If it does, there is a problem.
I have a few friends who are extremely uncomfortable with it, for a variety of reasons. Some religious, some just flat out don’t like it.
“It makes me uncomfortable” should be enough for a spouse.
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1- dont go through his phone
2- u clearly dont trust him
3- if hes not getting it at home then he WILL go elsewhere
4- id rather my fella watch porn n bash his bishop than go elsewhere.
its normal
for fellas to watch porn
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It’s not a problem until he isn’t having sex with you.
Have a discussion with him and get to the root of it. He needs to be showing you some love and attention. The fact it’s being all given to that is a no-no.
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Is your sex life non existent because of you? Maybe he’s watching it for a release. Talk to him. Maybe try watching it with him. It’s not just men who watch porn. Women just won’t admit it. Lighten up. And yes my husband watches it and no I don’t care. I’ll watch it with him. And our sex life is outstanding! Have some fun but talk to him about it not every one else. Especially Facebook.
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Bruh its porn. Hes not ever going to meet those girls
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Just because some women are ok with porn, doesn’t mean other women have to be. If you are not ok with it, then those are your feelings. Maybe an open and honest conversation might help. Sometimes couples get stuck into a routine and loose sight of making time and putting effort towards the relationship.
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You have to tell him you’re not okay with it and you have to stick to it no matter what. You actually have to make him understand that he needs to decide if he wants to continue watching porn or if he can be happy with just his one woman in real life. He has to choose you, and make that clear, and then give you all the transparency you need, since he took advantage of your trust.
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You said your sex life is almost nonexistent… If he’s not getting it from you, he’s gonna find a way to relieve himself. Better than actually going out and cheating. Relationships aren’t just sex, but it is necessary. I’d definitely talk to him about it. Don’t make him feel bad about it, but tell him what you’re feeling. Communication is key in any relationship, and both of you are lacking in that area.
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There are ways to help!
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Why is your sex life non existent? Does he try and you refuse or?
Sounds like you started thinking he was cheating and whether you meant to or not, you started cutting him off. If you do that, he will feel rejected and seek love and/or sex elsewhere. If you love him, I think you should spice things up in the bedroom. Show him you love him.
I can see why your sex life is non-existent. You think it’s ok to go in someone elses phone and you think he has to tell you everything he watches. Leave because all you’re doing is making yourself and possibly him miserable.
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I told my hunny to cut his shit and just invite me to watch, so now he invites me.
Can we please stop normalizing men watching porn instead of having sex with their wife. Secondly if it makes somebody feel bad why bash them ? I cant stand these comments
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“If he’s not getting it at home he will go elsewhere” please do not listen to that, don’t let hearing that convince you to have sex if you’re not comfortable. Maybe you all need to sit down and try to figure out why your sex life isn’t the greatest. Obviously we don’t know the entire situation but personally, I’d talk to him about why you all don’t have sex anymore, see if you all can get to the root of that problem and try to solve it. If you’re not comfortable with sex right now though, don’t let the thought of him cheating if you don’t convince you do to it anyway. If one of you are uncomfortable, figure out why, don’t force yourselves 
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Why are people laughing at this? When they arent touching you but they’re watching porn it really gets under your skin.
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Just for the record I do know for a fact that there are many men out there who are beginning to see and understand the issues with watching porn and actually choosing to remove it from their lives. They CAN do it, and they WILL if they think the woman they love is more important. I don’t give a crap who’s gonna say “no they just get better at hiding it” because I know men who have literally given it up and chosen to honor their woman. But don’t get me wrong, it isn’t something that happens overnight. It might take several occasions of addressing it with him. The addiction is real
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I would think its not a problem but would want to know why he feels the need to watch it… I would sit down and have a legitimate conversation about it. Maybe there’s a reason behind it… but now ya know he’s not cheating just watching porn.
Porn has not existed forever so this idea of “men deserve porn and not being comfortable with it is selfish” is cringey… im sorry I know it must be uncomfortable seeing this stuff. I think it is positive that you didn’t find actual cheating and if porn hasn’t been a topic between you two ever then he probably just didn’t think it was something he felt he needed to talk about because its kind of assumed people masturbate and use porn for it. Definitely have a convo about what might be off in your sex life to see if excessive porn use is a result or a cause is my advice💜
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Girl grab handcuffs watch porn together and just have a fun night! However if it truly bothers u then communicate.
Why are so many automatically blaming the lack of sex on her? It seems her husband has an unhealthy porn habit and it’s affecting their marriage. I dated someone who watched way too much porn and would rather watch porn than have sex…and when we did have sex it had to be like scenes from porn. Couldn’t just be regular ass sex lol. Talk to him about it and seek counseling together.
Why is it the first thought of 95% of the comments that because there sex life is non existent it must be because of the woman 
obviously she is saying she bothered by the porn because her sex life is non existent meaning he isn’t wanting to have sex with her hense why she’s upset. She stated she doesn’t have a real problem with the fact he watches it but because of the secrecy of the porn she’s concerned with it honestly I would be concerned too because if he’s not fucking you but wants to spank it to porn instead then I would be worried that he’s getting it somewhere else or so addicted to porn and the fantasy that he can’t get it up anymore to someone who isn’t a pornstar so honestly I would talk about it to him and see what’s going on
You’re allowed to not be okay with it. Everyone’s boundaries are different. I suggest counseling if you seriously want to fix your marriage.
So… Make a surprise he thinks ur leaving but u don’t … Walk back in the house catch him in the act and climb on top and rip his 
apart till it don’t come up for a couple days …
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I’ll never understand why females are upset with their partners for watching porn… why???
Genuine question if anyone has a response lol
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Haven’t you ever been told don’t go looking for something you’re not ready to find.
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Some of the women in these comments are RUTHLESS. every woman has different feelings about this subject so instead of putting her down for her feelings maybe ignore the post all together instead of being petty bitches to this woman who OBVIOUSLY does have an issue with it. 
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I allow it. My sex life is great… Some people are so closed minded. Just thinking he was cheating has probably already made you push him away so… Try to thinking it from his point of view. Being a little more open with your husband. Talk about what bothers you.
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I’d honestly look at the porn he’s watching and roll play with it. He probably wants something reason why you guys aren’t having sex.
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Maybe suggest u watch it 2g this was a problem for me until we started watching it 2g
After reading these comments, I have realized something else that I need to actively (and sadly) teach my 4 daughters…Never feel that it is ok for the man you’re with to put his physical or mental attention towards another woman/women, whether she is there or on the screen.
If both partners aren’t open and ok with this behavior, stop normalizing it.
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Buy some toys for the bedroom and watch porn together.
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Also, Men don’t watch porn because “they’re not getting it at home”, they do it because it’s a quick and pleasurable rush of dopamine and it is addicting as fuck and way too easy
My man said if he has a female there, why is he watching porn? If he likes porn so much, why doesn’t he ask her to watch it with him? And last that means hes fantasizing about someone else if he needs to watch it that much which means he’s not happy with what he has. That’s all coming from my man.
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I’d have a problem with the fact that your sex life is non existent and instead he is relying on porn. It’s definitely something to bring up to him. Maybe try changing things up, try new things? Either way, nothing will change without communication. You have every right to be upset about this.
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Tell him you wanna watch too 
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Make things interesting and start having sex again you said its been non existent so make a move and see if he goes for it?
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You’re an adult, so sit down with him and have an adult conversation. Explain how you feel, let him explain why he’s doing it, and come to a resolution that you’re both happy with.
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What’s with the laughing emojis. People are such stupid fucks . This is a support group in my opinion . I laugh at the karma that’s coming y’all’s way
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Some people are ok with it. Some arent. If you’re not, thats ok.
That’s the reason you have no sex life , its disrespectful to you hes being selfish . Leave him if your not that important to him just leave let him have hisself all to himself ,you are important to …
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2 separate issues here. Finding out hubby watching porn is one thing. Going through his phone because you are worried about cheating because lack of sex is another thing.
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There is nothing wrong with watching porn. Everyone does so what’s the problem…
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Ask him whats the dealio i mean if you have an issue with it speak up maybe its because you guys haven’t got it on for a minute, hes looking for that comfort… maybe surprise him with some porn then have sex girl ! Not everyone likes porn or their partner watching porn & thats OKAY**
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I watch porn … don’t mean I don’t love my hubby … means a bit of DIY is in order … like some times you wanna sort it ya self and some times you wanna be with your other half … my bf is the opersit he don’t like porn … i don’t care if he wanted to watch it…
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Ask him don’t ask fb…this isn’t directed strictly for the op. But I really think lots of women these days really need to get a voice. If you don’t like something voice it. What’s the worst that will happen he’ll be upset, so what you’re upset! Their feelings are not more important than yours, remember that
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I don’t care about porn personally 
If u have a good sex life and can watch together def roll play look up the type of porn he preferred and do something like that for him i been with my husband for 15yrs we can watch porn together but we have a very healthy sex life def no rules in that department but not every women is like that and its fine but something we did when we where younger would watch a porn together and anything they did in porn we did…i would also be upset if he wasnt fucking me but was going to porn to constantly please himself but also id rather him do that and me find ways to do what he is interested in then him go out and find another women good idea act like ur leaving walk back in while he watch dont get mad get down and suck that cock then that will open a new opportunity to do this stuff together men and women are visual creatures u can enjoy it as well…
I never had an issue with porn until it was made one. My husband and I used to watch it together, but it went from that, to him hiding it. He would get up early every morning and sneak in the bathroom to do his business. He would also lie about it and use his private browser to watch it. Porn is not the issue in my home. He is! If you’re not doing something you shouldn’t be, then there’s no reason for you to be hiding it and lying to me. Don’t make something a problem and there won’t be one. This is something far too many people don’t understand. They just want to play the blame game and act like you’re silly for having a problem with it. That is not the case at all. I can’t tell you how to deal with it, but I can offer my sympathy because I know how that feels.
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All relationships need to be negotiated. Have you guys sat down and negotiated your monogamy?
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Maybe watch porn yourself and get ideas for him in your bedroom. Might like things being done. Give it a try.
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Id be upset at the secrecy. Porn can become an addiction and him being sneaky behind your back is a problem. When they would rather watch porn instead of being intimate with their wife thats a problem.
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Don’t leave the house.
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With my ex, the porn did lead to cheating.
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Watch it with him. He’s not cheating on you by watching porn. Alot of healthy relationships do these things together. Spices things up.
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For those saying “if he’s not getting it at home he will get it somewhere else” I feel bad for you that you actually think thats normal… if he’s a real man he won’t “go somewhere else” they should understand that especially us moms are exhausted and don’t always feel “sexy” after a day of taking care of sticky mess makers all day. As for porn if it makes you uncomfortable definitely reach out to your partner. Let him know your concerns. Cause some women aren’t bothered by it but doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Maybe buy your self some lingerie that makes you feel sexy and try to make your sex life more fun and exciting with him. Try new things that both of you will like!
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Have you had a conversation with him about it. Have you ever had a conversation about it before. If not, how is he suppose to know how you feel about, on the other hand you had no idea how he felt about it.
Secondly, if you thought cheating was your first guess…has he cheated before.
Lots to think about and figure out.
These posts always shock me with women. Atleast it’s not cheating…such ignorant shit. I don’t think its appropriate and its damaging. Fightthenewdrug.org
Maybe because it’s almost non existent he watches porn. Maybe he doesn’t tell you because he knows you will take it personally and get upset. Why is it non existent though? Because you choose for it not to be, or he does? If you do, then I don’t blame him for watching it. It’s better than cheating. If it’s because of him then I’m going to be honest, he probably isn’t as sexually attracted to you anymore. Have you ever asked him if he watches it? Has he lied about it when asked? Because you decided to go through his phone without his permission, I’m going to assume it’s because his his choice and you wanted answers. That’s tough. Alot of unanswered questions. Next step would be to communicate with him about it. Tell him how you feel, what you found, and find out why. Especially since yall barely have a sex life. If you feel like his explanation is BS then that’s what it is, and you know where he stands.
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Be careful with a man with porn addiction. Especially if its so bad he has to watch it every time you leave and its interrupting your intimacy. That kind of behavior can lead to far worse things…infidelity and possibly him needing to up his level of porn to keep satisfying his need. You see men all the time on the news get busted for illegal stuff like that…just remember dudes don’t just wake up one day and decide to do that. Porn addiction leads them to worse and worse until they do destructive things they can’t take back.
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Porn is a red flag to me because the fantasy of it is a gateway of cheating. But a conversation about fixing his real sex life is needed, so porn can stop
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The next time you’re are in the mood tell him you want to try something different and put on some porn and watch together…
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Sounds like he might be suffering from an addiction. There’s therapists that specialize in OCSB. If it’s affecting your marriage, then it IS a problem.
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No it is not wrong if you. If you don’t like it then he should respect you and your feelings, it may be hard for him but tell him how you feel about it.
Or if you’d feel better I know some couples watch it together.
Not all men want to do things they see in porn. Definitely communicate. Talk to him! Don’t drive yourself to insecurities hun.
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Fyi watching with him wont fix it. U shouldn’t have do special tricks and shit
He can be a man and speak up about what he wants.
Talk to your husband about your issues. Asking people on Facebook what you should do is not going to solve your and your husband’s issue. Tell him you want some botty
Hmmm. Is there something similar in what he is watching? Just saying maybe u could try getting a sexy outift and experimenting? Maybe he has a fantasy of something u two dont do? Just an idea. I would be unhappy it was behind my back as well, especially if its something u dont like. Maybe talk to him too. Ask what the deal is. Im definitely the one doing it myself in my relationship (not porn, but taking care of it ya know) but i still want me husband as well. Usually were both tired or kids are knocking at the door or what ever to kill the mood. And it drives me crazy. He will straight message me like we are doing it later its been to long blah blah blah but by bed time we both pass out. Lol
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The only thing that bothers me about porn is the type of women he looks at.im thick and hes always watching these thin ass younger bitches…its irritating forsure.i have considered watching some big huge dick porn of my own just to see how he feels about it:thinking:
I mean, does he turn you down? If he does then that’s kind of weird but if he’s not getting any it’s better than him do that then go and cheat on you guys do it all the time it’s normal
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I don’t think he should stop watching it just to respect you either. The fact that he is hiding it is because he probably knows you’re bothered by it. Communication is the way to go and compromise
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Why is everyone assuming it’s her fault the sex love is non exists! Maybe he is turning her down left right and centre and watch’s porn! Everyone saying watch porn with him, well clearly neither are comfortable with that or he wouldn’t be hiding it. Instead he would of asked her how she felt about watching it!!! Everyone has there own comfort level. I love how everyone says I rather he watch porn than look else where, new flash looking at porn is looking else where. Porn can definitely add some spice to a relationship if both partners are comfortable and within each other boundaries limit.
My advice just talk to him. Looking for advice here isn’t going to help to necessarily. If you trying to figure out how to start the conversation my best advice just be upfront and straight forward. Life to short to play guessing games or try to read or assume how your partner feels.
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Nope, I’d go off. I think it’s extremely disrespectful for a man to be sitting there getting off to ANYONE that isn’t his wife and the other way around.
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I would make it very clear that you don’t appreciate his actions
It will affect your relationship
Porn is poison
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Okay so y’all ain’t having sex (your decision or his)? If it is your decision and he’s watching porn instead of cheating then you really should not feel some type of way? I know what it is like to have a very high sex drive and be told I want sex too much etc. I never cheated but I sure as hell watched porn and pleasured myself. Either way going through his phone is not good. I would advise marriage counseling. Sex and intimacy is essential in a relationship esp in your prime years.
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Personally I HATE porn. It’s definitely not something I am comfortable with but if I know I’m lacking in being more available for my SO I’d rather them watch porn than cheat. Sounds awful but it’s definitely the lesser of the two. A lot of men are very visual when it comes to getting off so it helps achieve the goal, so I get it. Still can’t stand it personally but to each their own. Now if he’s choosing to not try to be intimate with you and watching an excessive amount then yeah… probably need to just be honest and confront him. Tell him how it makes you feel and see what he has to say. If he’s got a problem then he needs to work on it or get help. It CAN become an addiction.
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If it is not effecting the intamate relationship, not spending money on, not having any personal relationship with anyone else i don’t see an issue.
But as porn is watched by more then half the population, Everyone has their own fantacies and things thay like, porn included. How would you like your partner saying i don’t like that so you cant do it?
In the beginning lay out all your boundries and deal breakers, everyone has diffrent levels. Find someone closest to your own.
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I mean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with watching porn sometimes, especially together as long as he’s not like doing those live things where you pay people to do whatever… that’s cheating to me. Hiding it from you seems kind of fishy. Maybe he has an addiction? Going through his phone was an invasion of privacy and that part is kind of messed up but I would be upset if I were in your situation. I’m sure you’re wondering if there are other things that he is hiding and feeling inadequate because he spend so much time watching it and doesn’t get intimate with you. I think you should talk to him about it. It might just simply be an addiction that can be worked on. It might be more. But if he can’t talk to you about it and make an effort to at least work on it nothing is going to change and you’re going to continue to be miserable. I really hope things work out for you.
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It’s honestly a personal opinion. If you are against it being a part of your marriage, you need to put your foot down and let him know that’s not ok. I personally believe that porn can be very destructive to marriages and if it’s taking a toll on you guys, you need to put your foot down. If he can’t respect your wishes, leave!
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Talk to him about how you feel and why you feel that way. Try couple’s counseling if need be. That is not normal and some guys really do struggle with this.
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The secrecy isn’t okay, and the fact that it seems to be interfering with your sex life as a couple is also not okay. You need to sit him down and talk to him about how you feel, and let him know that it’s a problem that it feels like he’s hiding it from you (he might not feel like he’s hiding it, he might just feel like it’s not something worth talking about - never assume) and that it’s interfering with your intimate relationship. And work it out between you two. Porn isn’t an issue on it’s own (Yes, you’re allowed to feel however you want about it and if he knows you don’t like it then it’s a problem, but it’s not a problem if he isn’t aware of that, and you can’t assume if it’s never been discussed), but when it interferes with the relationship, then it becomes one.
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Consider it as a third person in your marriage.
Sounds like he’s addicted.
I personally would not tolerate it.
He would have to get treatment to stay with me.
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I would be upset if he prefers porn over sex but I don’t have a problem if he wants to help himself when I’m not around but everyone is different
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I’m just curious as to how you know he watches it EVERY time you leave the house? 
you got a hidden camera in the house? Personally if it were me and my partner was watching porn and not having sex with me, that’s a red flag. And I’m going to address it and after I address we’re going to fix it. If all else fails he’s gone. There’s no way I’m going to be with someone that’s leaving me feel inadequate in that relationship.
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As long as its not live or paid for porn I don’t see an issue. Just my opinion tho
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Porn itself is not bad but if interfering with your sex life that becomes a problem. Different worth discussion
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Maybe he’s scared to share this with you given most woman’s thoughts on it. Did you see what his interests are? Does the type make you uncomfortable or could you instigate some of his fetishes. Sometimes it’s the type of thing he wants but is scared to share and it’s become the only way to get him off. If the style he watches is something you’d be willing to do maybe talking to him about it might help. Also now adays some people woman and men find something very specific and that’s the only thing that does it. What would he do if he caught you watching it? Does that offend you? Maybe you should find out what would happen if you did. Like let him walk in on your watching it. . I guess it depends on how much your into your relationship if you are totally offended maybe it’s time to change partners because it kinda sounds like he wants you to find it. Some woman freak and some woman ignore it. Either way it affects the relationship or makes it more adventurous. Depends on your own preferences and limits. Could you have sex while watching it? You have to decide what your tolerance level is and move forward from there. Hugs.
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Try watching it with him. Bet then you will get some
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He cheating… no one watches a lot of porn and dont act on it
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Married over 40 yrs. Very loving but no sex life. He watches porn, just don’t think of me that way. I’m good except alittle sex would be good
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