My man is addicted to porn…I don’t like it but will watch it with him…imo if you’re love life is non existent then he has a porn addiction and may need help with it.
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I recently had issues with my husband regarding his use of porn he hid it from me even though he knew exactly how I felt about it. It feels like betrayal to me because he was not being intimate with me like he should be. I told him truthfully whether he wanted to hear about it or not!!
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I would be upset if he was choosing porn over sex with you but I wouldn’t be upset about him watching porn.
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Well welcome to the problems that women have to deal with now because their “partners” penis overrides their brain and then they can not perform with real people. It is a type of cheating because his brain has been reworked and It’s not a great thing to get through You are going to have to have some very uncomfortable conversations and try to get him to open up with how bad it is and how you both feel. Don’t worry about sparing his feelings. Chances are it’s way worse than you think it is and it has cost him money too. So you need to decide what it is you want from him and this “relationship “. If he’s able to discuss his issues or anything without being defensive or blaming or trying to minimize with -my buddy does it way more than I do or his gf doesn’t care - it’s all bullshit. If you think this guys a keeper and has something you think you both want to work on you can try couples counseling. My heart goes out to you. Most couples don’t move past it because they can’t be truly honest and don’t want to make things better. Good luck. Porn can be a fun addition if it doesn’t ruin or replace the people involved and I’m sorry you have been made to feel like you are a problem or not enough.
Well, if your sex life is non existent…
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I’m not even going to comment on the porn thing because so many already have, but if you feel the need to go through his phone without him knowing, that’s a HUGE red flag and please leave the relationship. The trust will never be there
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Disrespect.
If you had a sex life and his sexual need outweighs your desire then hey 
But if he’s neglecting your sexual relationship and only pleasing himself then that’s a problem.
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Have sex with your husband or else you need to just let it go dude… let the man get off
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Everyone watches porn. I’ve been married six years… red flag should be the non existent sex life. Not the porn
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It prolly wasn’t that good 
He has erectile dysfunction due to alcohol. Take him to a doctor for check up.
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It’s seems there’s issues and maybe he doesn’t want to be that involved with you right now. Also none of us get to decide if he’s doing it too much or has a problem. Every time she leaves the house could be once a week. I’d suggest therapy for y’all as a couple and separately. Maybe he’s got a kink that he doesn’t want to bring up to you… so many things could be happening at the very min you should have a convo with him. Are either of you actually talking or listening to the other?
I’m more stuck on you going through his phone and trying to start a fight over it. It’s like you’re looking for a reason to start a fight
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Ok
1 watching porn is totally normal.
Do you guys have kids?
I mean he could be finding a way to relieve himself quicker. Is he too tired to have sex. Is he a man who likes to keep his things to himself. My husband doesn’t like to tell me about his self moments. There’s a lot to this. And the only way you will know is you communicate with him. Also don’t make him feel bad about watching porn when it’s normal. You could be saying a lot and it might not even be a lot. JUST TALK.
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Maybe if you seduced him he wouldn’t. If you guys have a non existent sex life. It’s not really his fault he’s looking to get himself off.
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Just talk to him, tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels
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Is the alcohol making him have erectile dysfunction? I’d pay attention or ask !
Pleasuring yourself is not cheating…
If he was watching porn of people ypu know then I’d be upset but otherwise no im fine with it.
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We all find a way to satisfy an inner fantasy while I don’t see it as a problem. Maybe he wants more spice in his life. Amp up your sex game
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This is what ruined me and my husband. He didn’t touch me for 4 years. I was always finding “couch towels” as a reminder. We are done
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Talk to him. My husband doesn’t watch it. He use to before he got with me. But we talked and he knew my stance on that. He said porn wasn’t worth losing me.
And I know for fact he hasn’t. He doesn’t have a phone lol hes with me constantly. And he plays games on his ps4 in front of me lol some men don’t and some men do. Just speak to him bout your feelings on it and see…
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Is this something he did before you were together? Maybe you’re just aware of it now that you’re going through a “dry spell”? Some women like to watch, some women don’t, no judgements here! But if you don’t, you really need to communicate with him about how you feel. Decide if this is a deal breaker for you. Good luck!!
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The issue isn’t the porn, it’s the lack of communication, trust, and intimacy in your marriage which is a two way street. You resorted to going through his phone behind his back while he was incapacitated. You were looking for something to be mad at him about and you found it. You need to seek the help of a counselor as both an individual and a couple ASAP.
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Porn is a secret. The guilt and shame that the watcher carries keeps them sick. It is an addiction. And it has NOTHING to do with you. It is not a reflection of you, what you are or aren’t doing. It is a sickness that can be treated.
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Sometimes for men prn is “easier” for them. It doesn’t have preferences, it doesn’t say no, it requires literally almost no effort.
Bring it up w an open mind, tell him how your dwindling sex life combined w his prn usage has fueled some inadequacy feelings (if that’s your feeling!) w you, & ask him his thoughts/feelings, etc. It may not even register to him that this would hurt your feelings!
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My first husband did this. Come to find out he started meeting girls off the internet. Our counselor told us that’s one of the first signs of cheating. I divorced him and got tested every couple of months to make sure I wasn’t given anything from it.
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My late husband hooked into a porn addiction when he became very depressed. It’s kind of a way of self medicating, as weird as that seems. Sit down abs talk with him as calmly and clearly as you can about not only the porn, but about what underlying emotions he has going on.
Its less you have bother putting out.
Have you talked to him about it? Sit down and talk with him about it. If it is really bothering you let him know. How can you work on something if you don’t communicate your feelings on it?? He may not think it would bother you. Me personally I know my husband watches it and it doesn’t bother me. But I also know it bothers some women and others it doesn’t and it doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t justified. If your not ok with it you need to discuss it with him and if needed, go to counseling.
Seems to be more issues just the porn is your concern? If your married and not happy leave. If your married and have little to know sex life it’s time to go on…Here’s the real question do you please your self? He’s doing it. Watch it together. He’s not going to stop watching porn.
Why aren’t you having sex with him?
Secrecy is an issue… Porn tends to desensitize, and make yhe abnormal “seem” normal… Once was involved with someone who let it become a huge issue…he was never able to disconnect from it, and before our relationship ended, he became quite twisted… Was sad. Have the hard conversation now, while you still can. If you are right there, willng and able, and porn is the preference, there are things you need to be discussing…now. Do not wait.
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Porn is dangerous. One reason is because it causes people to have unrealistic expectations and it is addictive not unlike drugs. Consider seeking professional counseling on how to approach it.
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Porn is an addiction . it is very addicting .it cheapens a woman in every way . he doent want you .he devotes his time and affection on another so yes he is cheating on you .he is saying i care more about what i see than what i truly have which is a loving woman . watching porn requires no give and take between 2 people .just watch and more than likely he is taking care of the need himself instead of giving it to you .talk to him .explain your concerns.take it from there .he needs help this has been going on for some time from the sounds of it
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talk to him about it. communication is key.
Watch it together. A man likes to look at porn. Its a given but there isnt anything wrong with it. My husband never had to hide it from me. He was always an open book. Its not a big deal. Its all about the fantasy with a man. Its not reality.
I think I would be most concerned about him being drunk, seems as he has a drinking problem , I think both of you should see a marriage counselor and your husband should join AA group to take care of the drinking problem… He sounds like he is depressed and finding joy where he can… Anyway a Facebook Page group is not exactly where I would seek advice. Maybe your church can help
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I see several differing opinions, so here’s mine. Talk to your husband. Communication is everything. That doesn’t mean confront him or yell. Stay calm and have an actual conversation. Just because he watches porn, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating.
The fact you went through his phone means there was already a trust issue. In my experience, relationships won’t work without trust. Try talking to him or going to couples counseling. So many people are quick to quit and move on instead of repairing their marriage.
Also, many couples go through dry spells for varying reasons. Talking to your husband could potentially solve that issue.
This movie has done wonders for my marriage our problem wasn’t porn but it does talk about it in the movie.
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My husband started watching porn, then went to cruising Craigslist pics and messaging, then went to messaging on Word With Friends (of all the dumb choices) so he could message real people and get real pics and then started actually talking to those people and dated at least one I found out about, then dated two of his ex’s he found on Facebook 
So secret porn watching is not always just watching porn…sometimes it is though. Each situation is different and no matter what his reasoning is, the only way you’ll know is if you talk to him about it.
Don’t drill into him though. Just let him know you know, tell him how you feel and ask him how you can feel better about this.
Porn can be an addiction but I would be grateful that he’s not cheating on you. Seek counseling for it. He might feel embarrassed about it and that’s why he does it in secret. Porn is normal in healthy relationships but excessive consumption can lead to a dangerous downward spiral and will destroy your marriage. Talk to him about it without being aggressive.
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It’s only a problem if it affects your sex life…which it seems to be.
If it’s taking the place of you guys being together, you have a big issue. Talk to him.
I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with guys (or girls) watching porn or doing what they want to to get off. But if they’re only doing that and neglecting their partner? Not ok.
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Having been through this, I can tell you that you’re going to get a billion different answers online. Honestly, the BEST thing to do is talk to your husband. If y’all cannot openly communicate, then get thee to counseling.
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Try not to take it personal! It isn’t about you, really, im not trying to be an ass. I have learned men do it for a number of reasons. Boredom is one. Anxiety. Not feeling good about himself.
Don’t come at him with “guns drawn” with anger. He will shut you out.
Maybe see if something is bothering him, is he fighting boredom?
Maybe plan a date night.
Its isn’t you! Don’t make it about you, even though it is hurtful to you. Good luck!
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Make him realize that you’re better than porn! Catch him off guard when he’s playing video games with his friends or when he’s in the garage fixing something … just surprise him! And if he don’t want that, that’s messed up.
I’ll be blunt, if my significant other and I had a non-existent sex life, I believe I would be thankful that his satisfaction was filled by watching a dirty movie, rather than them seeking attention from another.
That being said, no one has the right to tell you what should or shouldn’t bother or hurt you. If it bothers you, and it obviously does, I would confront him. Maybe talk about spicing things up in the bedroom or look into counseling. Not working on the problem is not a solution.
I truly hope your situation gets better.
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My hubs watches porn before he goes to work. I watch as soon as he leaves 
sometimes it’s easier to not have expectations from the other person! But we also have an extremely healthy sex life. Make your feelings known without making him feel shameful about it, because there is nothing be ashamed of!
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Some women are okay with it, some aren’t. If it is something that makes you uncomfortable you don’t need our advice to sway you one way or the other. Your feelings are valid, you need to express them to your husband.
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Most of y’all are missing the big problem here, not that he watches it but that he watches it while their OWN sex life is nonexistent. That’s the big elephant in the room here. There’s definitely another issue going on, I would definitely ask him why point blank.
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You said he watches porn all the time especially when your out and that your sex life is non existent at the moment, talk to him, do you have problems does he have problems? Anything bothering him or do you have problems (menapause) or just dnt feel like it, unless you talk you will not get any answers good luck xxx
Went through this. Didn’t have a sex life but whacked off every time I wasn’t around and lied about it. Tried to talk to him about it and it didn’t change. Left him. You wanna watch porn alone and take care of yourself I’m not goin to suffer through the selfishness🤷🏼♀️
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Alright so I went thru this. Do you talk openly? Not mostly open, truly open. Talk to him. You will find out 100000% more that way. NOBODY HERE knows what your husband’s reasons are. If you want it to work, it can.
Therapy. I would have a HUGE issue!!
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Yeah my own opinion is no porn. Period. If he doesn’t like it go find someone else. Why be married if you are looking at others in a sexual way, that’s supposed to be the one thing you have together. I think it’s gross.
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I mean if he’s hiding it that’s an issue
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Andie Beth, do you have something constructive to add?
He seems to have two addictions porn and alcohol. Dump him
It will only get worse.
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Show him interest flirt with him reconnect with him
I’m going thru exact same thing
It sounds like you need to hear a saying called pick your battles. Arguing about p*** do you really believe that is something you should argue about? I mean with all honesty and I’m not being rude. I’ve been married for 13 or more years and I know this seriously pick your battles. P*** is pointless okay it is nothing to worry about is the way I look at it. Because your husband is not going to bed with those win okay he is not all hugged up and kissing those women okay he is sleeping with you at the end of the day. And that p*** is just on the internet. Now if he was video chatting with a girl and doing dirty things I would be concerned. Or sending girls on Facebook nude pictures or whatever. Honestly I’m sure you have more problems to worry about them dirty videos. Honestly you can’t change people unless they want to be changed their selves okay they are the only one that can change them self. And all you’re doing is adding stress to yourself by arguing over something as pointless as a dirty video. And honestly I see no reason in that. I have a nephew who watches fat girl dirty videos you know what I mean it’s just him. Honestly arguing over dirty videos could be something that might breaks up your marriage I mean I would learn to breathe count to 10 and let it go and move on with your day. And just remember your husband is not going to bed with all those women he’s going to bed with you
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I would ask him to watch a movie with you, after the kids go to bed and turn on some porn, while wearing a sexy outfit and make a move 
see what happens.
Talking and love is a big part of a marriage whether it be man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, xxx
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I say talk to him and tell him how you feel. Then let him know you are game to watch it with him. Honestly it can be stimulating for you both if you are open and honest.
Sounds like you need to spice it up some. Make him want you. Sometimes the stresses of everyday life make you forget to appreciate each other.
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i been thru this. i told him idc if he’s gonna watch porn but at least have sex with me too. porn becomes an issue to me when I’m not getting the D
Honestly, seek marriage counseling and sex counseling
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Porn will rarely equal most couples sex lives…
Get up your nerve when you have some adult time & ask, why doesn’t he ask you to watch porn with him? Guaranteed conversation starter in my opinion.
Jesus fucking christ what a goddamn toxic thread this turned into. Conversations about porn always turn into this: women bashing other women over something (mental or emotional) that they cannot help. The replies to this thread are EXACTLY why I say seek a professional and not to turn to cold-hearted internet strangers.
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Maybe he has an addiction to it?? It’s possible
I’d watch porn in front of him… loudly. 
Or go a step further and masturbate in front of him while watching porn. Then if he tried to jump in, I’d be like nah, I’m good.
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Are people actually getting upset over their SO watching porn? 
can y’all stop being so selfish and sensitive ALL of the time? It’s not like he has 20 other girls that he’s actively sleeping with. Leave the man alone. He could tell you to get out of your own bed while you’re home so he can watch it. Instead he is doing it discreetly Bc news flash, you don’t always have to know every single private thing in his life- even when you’re married.
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It’s not wrong for you to be upset. There will always be two types of people - those who think it’s not ok vs. those who think its perfectly normal.
Don’t let other people’s opinion on it make you feel guilty about the way it makes you feel. Communication is key, tell him how you feel. Try to get that spark back that y’all had before getting married.
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You are not wrong. If you don’t like it then he needs to stop. I would talk with him about why you are not having sex. If he does not respect your feelings and/or if you think he is cheating I would Move On. Life is to short to be disrespected like that.
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Is it a secret bc he feels like it would be a fight? Personally I have no issues with my man watching porno but I also made it very clear and he’s never kept it from me bc he isn’t worried how I’ll react… I guess my point is he may only be hiding it bc he’s worried based on past conversations and such.
The rest I agree tell him how you are feeling. But it has to be asked why you were going through his phone? Something I love about my relationship I’ve never felt the need to check into him. We are open and honest and I trust him completely. If I had to go through his phone and things I wouldn’t think he was "the one"the way I do now
Also what do you consider “a lot”… I’m not even being funny he could just be searching through loads of pages but only really watching one or two. 🤷
Basically communicate and get to the bottom of it all. You’ll feel better.
Tell him you want to make a porno…?
You have every right to be upset. Some don’t mind, some do and both is perfectly okay! You need to sit him down and let him know that it makes you very uncomfortable.
Whew, the bar is on the floor. The fact that some of y’all are really blaming her and making her feel like its ok since he’s not cheating is seriously wrong. If you feel like it’s cheating, then it’s cheating. Don’t ever let someone invalidate YOUR feelings about something. YOU don’t have to watch something that you’re uncomfortable. Also, the comments saying at least he’s not out cheating seriously?!?! 
If that’s what your telling yourself please reevaluate who you’re with. Ready all these comments honestly breaks my heart. If your partner is watching porn and not being intimate with you there is a problem!!! Communication is a two way street. Best of luck!
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He’s a fucking pig 
Ok so remember that the way you treat your partner is going to dictate whether or not they want to have sex with you. Not many people want to have sex with their bully. I don’t care if you do every chore in the house that’s not “being nice and respectful”. Plus you invaded his privacy for nothing bc porn is normal. Talk, communicate, calm truth. If it bothers you speak up. Don’t cast blame.
Wow…it amazes me that people on here are blaming this woman for the non existent sex life…y’all are pathetic. Men are not primal creatures that require sex to function. Porn CAN be harmful and everyone is different, it is OK for y’all to be ok with porn and it is OK to not like porn in a relationship. To the OP, dont let these assholes blame you or insult you for you beijg uncomfortable with something. If it bothers you, it becomes an issue. I would talk to him and discuss how you feel.
It’s okay for you to feel the way you feel. If you feel it, it’s real. It don’t mean you are insecure. You don’t need to ask others to validate the way you feel. Making your significant other feel inadequate is what’s not okay. If you Express how the situation makes you feel and he tosses it out and makes you feel like crap over it, that’s not okay.
My husband brought porn up and I told him it’s basically cheating bc it’s another woman and not me. From there he never watched it or even thought about it. You have every right to feel the way u do bc u should have to feel a certain bc he relays on porn
I’m only speaking on my own personal experience. Like any relationship, there are always too sides…for me, my ex husband was watching porn on an extreme basis. He kept it secret from me too. For over 7 years. He was scared of how i would react because we already had that discussion. Our sex life went down the drain for years. I felt like I was crazy trying to find out if he was cheating on me…besides the porn and the 11 sites. I found proof of multiple women he was talking to and then after emotional affair it became physical. Whatever your gut and instinct is telling you. Trust it. If you feel it’s wrong and you are uncomfortable with it then it is FOR YOU! That’s what matters. Everyone can give opinions, options and examples of experience but it ultimately comes down to how you feel and what you will do about it.
Maybe you should talk to him about it
If you 2 aren’t intimate he like most people has needs. Amp up that sex game girl. Dress up, talk dirty, get him going…n bam. He will be satisfied. When a man stomach is full, he won’t look for food. Feel me luv?
Why would he want to see other women when he has a wife some marriages fall apart cos of this i wouldn’t want my husband looking at other women
You need to sit down, with your husband, and discuss this. LISTEN to each other and come to an agreement.
Let’s start by asking Why lord God are you with him if you don’t trust him and go through his phone Not healthy to live like that !
Getting to the root of his obsession with it may help find answers and solutions to this hobby of his.
I agree with some of the comments about taking time put to talk to him. Porn can be equated to a snare and possible eventual infidelity. Sit down together and talk things out, let him know how.much you love an help him feel appreciated. Taking the 1st step sometimes can be difficult but you can reap the rewards.
The problem is with him jacking off and watching porn you need to stop him now because when you do have sex he will cum to some to get it over with or he won’t be able to cum so you should talk to him
U needs to talk to him about it if yall aint have much a sex of a sex time…maybe its u not giving him what he wants or not sexual active…they going to do that and the ones that watch it got a very high sex drive…figure out whats wrong it ur realitionship…in the beginning of relationships when comprised things goin to just one side then maybe they need a new one
Talk to him about it or say ur leaving