Long story short, when my now husband and I first moved in together we agreed to rent out my house and I move in with him. Well his brother was renting a room from him at the time, but he kept saying he was going to move out soon and he’s been saving his money. 4 years later he is still living with us. He is a slob! He’s lazy, plays video games all the time and contributes nothing. When we wake up before him he complains that we woke him up. I’m pregnant and the other day I was sanding the babies room at 2 in the afternoon, he wakes up slams the door and starts yelling. That’s when I realized I was done. Ever since that day, I constantly tell my husband I’m not happy living here anymore. Nothing ever gets done about it. I understand he doesn’t want to kick his brother out, but I am seriously over it. There are times I really think about moving back to my old house when the tenants move out, but my husband and I have a great relationship and I am not leaving him. But then there are times I think that if my husband really did care about my feelings he would give his brother a deadline as to when he needs to move out. I miss not having any privacy, and I hate cleaning up after him. Maybe I’m just moody from being pregnant, but at this point I’m over having another adult living in our house for the past 4 years.
Yeah I would be telling hubby that his brother needs to go or you will. That is ridiculous that a grown man is living with you and not contributing for one and for 4 years!
Your husband and you DO NOT have a “great relationship” as long as he doesn’t put you first over his brother.
Tell hubs your moving back to your old apartment and you’d like him to come. Then tell brother if he wants the place your in now he’ll have to start taking over the bills by xyz time or he’s gotta get out.
After four years…sounds unfortunately like you’re stuck with the brother.
I would move back to the other house. Or tell your husband you’re done and let him decide.
If he can’t kick his brother out to help you DURING pregnancy can you imagine what an oaf he’s going to be when the baby actually gets here? I’d move back into my own home in a heartbeat.
Do it move out save yourself and your child from this situation. Your relationship with your husband is not in fact great. If it was his brother would be long gone. He’s continued to put his brother before his family. So no not a great relationship even if you have great times.
Move into your old place til his brother gets out. I went through that with my step son. I put my foot down.
You CANNOT have him there with that kind of energy with a baby. I would tell him he has until the baby is born or a couple weeks before to find somewhere else to live￼. He needs to put your foot down and let him know that he is a guest there and that when that baby comes, you are not going to put up with him slamming doors and screaming and acting like a toddler when there is a crying newborn because you are not going to have any control over that baby sleep schedule. And babies pick up on vibes and absolutely pick up on his energy which will make for a miserable baby.
Your relationship isn’t that great if he doesn’t understand the toll his brother is taking on you…move out
You and your husband do not have a great relationship if he doesn’t put you before his brother, it’s just that simple. I’d hit the road if he can’t listen to your feelings.
Go stay somewhere else and tell your husband you’re not coming back until his brother is out. Your husband will probably change his tune in a few days when no one is cleaning up after his brother, making meals, no nookie, and etc
Stand your ground and get yourself a voice. Don’t sweet talk to him demand him you need the privacy, your space or you’re leaving. And actually scare him lol leave with a relative for awhile until he gets the dam hint. I packed my stuff and left with my kids until my husband finally got it
Ok b so I lived this & gonna tell you that if he’s not done anything in 4yrs then he’s not going to without incentive. You & your baby should be his priority-PERIOD! His brother acting a fool towards you or anyone else he’s using is UNACCEPTABLE. Pack your bags & leave. Let him know you will come back when the bum is gone.
So do it yourself. Tell your husband you’re giving his brother the deadline and do it.
They say after 3 days, fish & visitors stink. After 4 years!?!?! Oh hell no!!! He’s gotta GO!
Also since he’s lived there for 4 years good luck getting him out without an eviction notice seriously because he’s now a legal resident of your guys home and even if you guys tell him he has to leave guess what you best put that in writing or it’s just hearsay and most verbal things don’t hold up in court so. Put it in writing and hand delivered by certified mail and it needs to have what date he needs to be moved out and once that date comes and he’s not out then you start the eviction process. You’re not going to get him out just by saying he needs to leave or asking him to leave. I bet he knows his rights too as a legal resident of your guys home and that’s why he hasn’t left yet. If your husband doesn’t want to get him out then leave the home yourself and provide for you and your child and get your husband for child support
You should be more important then his brother. How bad is it gonna get when the baby cries in the middle of the night and wakes him? The brother is a free loader. Save yourself and move back into your house. If your husband truly loves you, he’ll make his brother move out.
I’d ask him to make his brother show proof he’s saving money for a house and create a deadline off what he has saved.
You do not clean up after him, that is not your job or responsibility. If you have to pick something, throw it into his room or wherever your husband’s favorite sitting place is. Honestly, I’d leave for the sole fact that my husband thinks I’m a maid for his brother. He’s had to see you picking up after him this entire time?
So put a deadline and if the brother isn’t out then you leave.
You and your husband don’t have a great relationship or you wouldn’t even be considering moving back to your house. We don’t have the whole story here, is his brother working. Or handicapped or disabled…?
I would tell him to leave before the baby arrives. If he doesn’t then leave!
What’s he gunna do when the baby is up every 2-3 hours for the first few months ? Tell your husband his brother is moving out before you have the baby. Then you tell the brother he’s moving out before the baby comes. Of he doesn’t do it willingly, his things will be on the lawn. He’s using you and your husband is letting him. Stop being a doormat
You guys are starting a family and life together, his brother needs to go.
You’re not his brothers maid, you should not have to clean up after him. He’s a grown ass man and should respect the fact he lives with another family even if it is his brother. If that was me there would definitely be a deadline put into play by me. If he isn’t gone by this date, then I’m moving back into my house where I’m not subjected to being screamed at for trying to maintain OUR home and get it ready for OUR child’s arrival.
Could it be with a baby on the way, your husband doesn’t want to lose the rent money? The brother still needs to move out but is there an underlying reason why he hasn’t asked him to leave?
Girl. This is not a “moody because I’m pregnant” situation. At all.
Try wording it less about you being done and more about how this situation is actually harming his brother more than helping him, because it is. Allowing him to stay there and not having to get a job and be responsible is keeping him stuck in this childlike stage. How will he ever meet a partner or have the amazing feeling of buying his first place? Sometimes over helping can keep people from realizing their own strength and confidence. I disagree with others- I don’t think his brother being there for so long means your relationship is bad. I think he is just avoiding confrontation and feels guilt at the thought of kicking him out-some of the strongest people do this. Maybe seeing it from the perspective of how it’s hurting his brother will eliminate any need for a fight between you two.
Maybe Im petty, but here’s my advice. Stop cleaning up after him. Let the mess accumulate and when your husband finally gets annoyed by it, point him in the direction of all of the cleaning supplies. Start making your brother in law feel uncomfortable by not taking him into consideration. When you get up in the morning, maybe don’t be as quiet as you normally are. Let the cable get shut off, then make him put it in his name. That way he’s forced to contribute financially. If you wake up a million times at night to pee, make some noise. Cough, accidently slam the toilet cover, etc. When he complains, tell him to get used to it. Once the baby comes no one will be getting a good night’s rest. Get lovey dovey with your husband when he’s around. When you clean the house, blast some nusic. Order takeout from his favorite place without offering him any. Make him want to move out. If all else fails, move back into your house once the tenants leave. Do not move back in with your husband until after your brother in law is fully moved out. He is not going to leave unless he absolutely has to.
Move back to your place if your husband really cared about you he would kick out his brother
What I’m hearing is that you and your husband have a grown ass man-child and a baby on the way. Sound about right?
I get helping family and I get not wanting to turn your back on them, but at this point, the brother isn’t going anywhere. Why would he? He has a live in maid and cook.
If I were you, since you’ve addressed the issue with your husband several times, I would tell him that by the time the lease is up at your house, either you (and the baby) go or his brother goes.
I do believe 4 years time is plenty of time to save money, get on your feet and find a place.
I mean u moved in the brother n ur now husband’s home. Was his home before u came along. My opinion is move out get ur place back. When we move in with someone else u can not just kick someone out
His brother isn’t going to be very happy once there’s a noisy baby around
Goodbye to lil bro or goodbye to you…hell to the nope!!!
It may have something to do with hormones, but the brother is being disrespectful to you and your husband. I’d tell the husband to get it done or I’m gone.
Is there even a single man living in this house? I just read that YOU, a pregnant woman, are doing the sanding in the baby’s room? Throw both brothers out. #Yeet
So this is technically your second child!
I would sand everything now!
Nope. Give him a deadline to get the brother out or you’ll go back to your own place, and stick to it.
4years!?!?! No effen way!!
remind your husband you are the wife and what is happening isn’t ok with you and if his brother doesn’t like getting woke up now wait till the babies crying wakes him up. Let your husband know you refuse to put up with his bitching about getting woke up by the baby
Tell your husband it’s his brother or you
The brother in law from Hell.
Living with people will ruin a marriage. My mother in law lived with us for 4 months and she was a dirty person. My husband and I almost divorced over it . I would definitely move back to your old house and tell ur husband if he wants to come he can but the brother cannot
I would move back to your place, your husband will hopefully realize he needs to kick his brother out. Sorry but your BIL is a grown man and needs to find his own place.
Never let another grown man or woman live with you!!! Never ends well
Tell husband to give brother 30 days to move out. Period.
Girl if you and your husband had a great relationship, you wouldn’t be going through this because he would put his brother’s a** out. If I were you, I would move back into my house and let your husband figure out the situation with his brother.
U kick him out. Give him a deadline
Of your husband doesn’t like it to bad. Go through the court n give him an eviction!
Tell your husband to choose, his wife or his brother
Tell your so called loving husband that either his ungrateful bother goes or you’re going.
Oh yea. I’d be telling him either the brother goes or I do. It’s been 4 years. And I definitely wouldn’t be cleaning up after him anymore. Anything he left laying around if it needed to be moved would be thrown into his room. Even if it’s garbage. he’d have till 3-4 weeks before the baby gets here to choose.
Throw him out, throw him out! If the husband complains, throw him out!
Oh yeah, that’s a big nope.
Brother is an adult, and y’all are having a baby.
Your husband needs to give him a deadline to get out and stuck to it.
Call that a good relationship would hate to see a bad one
Tell your husband you are going back to your old home until his brother is gone. If that manchild has problem being awaken at 2pm what is he going to act like when baby wakes him in middle of night
Just stop. Stop cleaning up after him. Take care of yourself and your unborn baby and let your husband deal with his brother. If he leaves a mess it’s up to hubby to clean it. If you wake him up preparing your baby’s room refer him to hubby and continue about your business. He’s your husband’s brother let him deal with the mooch.
Ya I would be kicking him to the curb myself or saying see ya later and moving.
You are not wrong for feeling that way by no means, but any one that is not a brother doesn’t understand the bond and loyalty a brother holds. There’s a code. Bro code. Not your buddy’s I mean your brother that was there for you and will always be there. There is no law of the land that will divide brothers. I’d testify in court it wasn’t my brother on camera robbing a bank without a mask swearing he was with me golfing lol. Don’t be so pushy. Your pushing him against a cliff and he’s checked out of the problem out of the fear of falling. Help him get his grip back. Be his rope that holds him instead of pushing him. A man can only be as good and as solid as the woman who stands behind him. Talk to him ask him and be genuine. Don’t let your aggravation of the situation take control let him. And just see. Could be trauma bonded too. It took me 31 years to realize my mother was toxic and the reason behind my home being torn. But also holding on out of love or pity hurts more than letting go sometimes.
No he over stayed his welcome!
What’s going to happen when baby comes? They cry at all hours of the night for feeding, is he going to get up and yell? That would be totally unacceptable, babies are 24/7 and need attention and love:two_hearts: at all times. He’s a grown ass man , boot that baby to the curb! Sooner rather than later
Whew chil’ you better than me cause I would’ve started fighting around month 6
Kick his ass out. real simple.
What will he do when the baby is crying at 2 am?
Tell him he has 1 month to kick his brother out or at the end of the month you move back into your parents house.
Allow him to help his brother by paying (if you can afford it) for the board and 2 weeks rent or something just to make sure he gets the place but, that’s all the help he is getting.
Nah you’re not just moody.
You’re pregnant and cleaning up after a grown man that is not your responsibility.
I’d move back to the other house and of your husband cares he’ll either follow you or do what he should have done Long ago.
You’ve a baby coming. How will brother act when baby is crying every few hours for a feed or nappy change or wind.
Why don’t you and your husband move to your place? My husband would talk to his brother but also wouldn’t kick him out
It should not matter if your up work on Ur baby room 2 in after noon or 2 in morning ur pregnant and when u start nesting u might be up at weird hours THATS YOUR HOME !
Yes eathier your family or your grown ass brother …
Set a deadline yourself and stick to your guns.
Well if you wake him up at 2pm, crying baby will deffo keep him up and I would always leave with baby to the room nearest his when the baby is crying, but also husband should know that now he is building his own little family brother has to go…
Tell him it’s time to pick and if he chooses his brother over his family you will be taking your child back to the home you own.
You need to give him a written and verbal eviction. You need not feel bad your going to have a baby and by the Jesus when your up every 2 hours door slams are not acceptable dealing with a man child isn’t part of the deal you’ve spoiled him long enough
I’d tell hubby to grow a pair and pick who he wants to live with. Give him one week deadline. If he does nothing move out. At this point you’ll need to get a legal eviction
At this point you’ll have to evict him.
First and foremost, your feelings are valid! Always remember that! Are you probably hormonal and more on edge and irritated easily bc you are pregnant, yes…. BUT, you are not wrong here! You didn’t marry your husband to raise his brother! I know you have a great relationship with your husband, but he needs to put you, your feelings, your relationship, your family (that’s starting) and everything about your life first… and he’s unfortunately letting his brother take a front seat on y’all’s ride. He may feel responsible for him in some way and I can’t imagine how hard it is to have to force a family member out, however you have enough on your plate & you are literally going to mothering 2 babies soon (1 newborn and 1 adult man child) if something doesn’t change and that’s not fair to you. I don’t think it’s wrong to give him a timeline, (the brother) that he has so long to find a new place, and husband should be the one to tell him, not you. Husband should be backing you and getting your house ready for a baby. You should not have to tip toe on egg shells with a baby that doesn’t sleep much through the night or may be crying during the afternoon bc you are affecting his naps or gaming experience! Just Nope! Maybe husband can help him find a place and even help him move, but brother needs to move out, like yesterday…. Don’t let either of them make you feel bad or blame this solely on your hormones since you are pregnant. You deserve a comfortable home with no added responsibility of the brother to start your motherhood journey. Best of luck Momma
Imagine once the baby comes I’d stand your ground now.
Move back to your own home. If your husband wants to come fine. If he doesn’t, that’s fine too.
I would b over it too but I wouldn’t have dealt with it that long
Get rid of the jerk. What is wrong with your husband that his brother comes before you. That should never happen!
My gramma used to say “you’ll end up with what you’ll put up with” and boy was she right