My 1-year-old (18 months) is going to have tubes put in his ears in a couple of weeks and his dad doesn’t want to ask for the day of the surgery off because he won’t have any personal days left for the year and thinks I’m overdramatic that I think he should go ahead and ask. Also, because it is a simple surgical procedure. Thoughts please, and I and my son’s dad are together.
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I personally would be upset if my husband didn’t take the day to he there with us.
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If he only has one day left it makes sense because of an emergency arises… and because hes confident and comfortable with you being there. It makes sense.
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There’s like 7 weeks left this year plus I assume he has off thanksgiving and Christmas?
It will take 10 minutes for the surgery it’s pretty simple I’d save the day for an emergency Just my opinion
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I’m sure you can handle it on your own…
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He needs To take the day off.
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I can understand why you would want him to be there, but since its a simple surgery, i can understand why he doesnt want to take his last personal day off. What if something worse happens and he cant take the time off for it.? Gotta think about the bigger picture
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You’re being dramatic. Save that day for an actual emergency.
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Life is life, you won’t always be able to take that day off. You are fully capable of handling it yourself hun
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It’s a really short procedure, about 15 minutes. I wouldn’t personally be upset if my husband didn’t take the day off. It’s very short and simple.
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Well if he doesn’t have any more days available to take then if he does he’ll most likely not get paid for the time he takes off for this procedure. If you can handle it you should. That’s my opinion and what I’d do. Rolling into winter months with higher bills for heating etc… money is important.
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If my husband could get the day off he friggin better. He is currently out of PTO so if he had to work for something like this it’s just the way it is. I’ve had to go to our sons evaluations for autism and such by myself and he has only been able to go to one of my OB appts this pregnancy. So I get not being able to, but if my husband could get off for something like this I would expect him to for sure.
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I agree with dad that you’re being a bit dramatic. The whole family doesn’t need to be at a simple procedure. As long as one of you are there, it’s fine.
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Personally it wouldn’t bother me. I stayed in the NICU with our baby and my hubby went back to work. If its not a true emergency I can understand why he wants to save that day. Is he really gonna be needed? For real save that day for a family day lol or a true emergency. Id rather my husband use his only days off for stuff his kids will remember or for something that absolutely says this is a 911 emergency get here.
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It’s ok, my son had 2 sets of tubes put in (10 months old & 3 years old & tonsils & Adenoids out at age 4), we both couldn’t take off of work,he makes more money so I took off.
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I think it depends how serious the operation is. Tubes I’m guessing grommets is performed hundreds of times a day so he will be fine. I think he’s being sensible as he’s only got one day left.
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It’s simple and fast If u don’t want to go alone take a friend or family member with u
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I had tubes in my ears many times when younger. I wouldn’t be upset it is simple.
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Tubes are easy, you can handle it. Let him work.
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Men are not equipped to handle that, at least mine isn’t.
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I guess it depends, if it’s going to cause issues for my husband and work I would not push the issue. But if they would give it to him no problem and he’s just choosing not to, I could see how that might bother your.
It may be simple but you have no idea how your son will feel when he wakes up. Everyone has a different reaction from anesthesia. When my 2 year old woke up from having her tubes done it took 7 hours of her crying and not eating. They finally released her after she would eat. It was horrible and I would have lost my mind if someone wasnt there to help me juggle trying to comfort her.
Stop bitchin, it’s not a life surgery, Go to work you going to need the money
Well he could take off n after survey go back to work
You got this momma. Daddy only needs to be there if it’s SERIOUS
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For something that simple there is no reason for him to take the day off and waist his PTO
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So maybe ask him to take a half day? No use in missing a whole days work for a 10 minute surgery. My sister has this done when we were kids. It’s not a huge deal. So while you’re 100% entitled to your feelings and emotions. It may not make that much of a difference.
It really is in and out. Very quick. From the time they took my son back for the surgery, till the time we were getting in the car was 20 minutes. If he can’t take it off, he can’t take it off. of course it would be preferable, but it’s not like you will be sitting for hours on your own waiting.
He can work it’s not that important. My kids had tubes put in and they were fine
Yeah it’s a simple procedure. Losing a day of pay isn’t worth it. Have a friend or family member go with you.
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If you are there why does he need to be. I’m taking my son for surgery tomorrow. His dad is working so can’t come. No big deal.
I think you’re being a bit dramatic. It’s so quick and easy, y’all will be done before lunch. And there really isn’t much of a recovery. I would let him save that day in the event of a real emergency.
I have had it done twice when I was a kid. It’s a quick easy procedure, you really don’t need 2 parents there for it
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Yeah because hes gunna need the money to pay for that simple surgery. I get wanting him to be there but If he works at a place that is strict, you never know if you’re gunna need that day in the future for a real emergency. My husband only got two days off after we had our son and was right back to work. I do a lot of things without my husband but I just keep him updated throughout and it’s all good.
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He has 1 day off, it makes more sense to save it for an emergency comes up.
He’s thinking ahead which is amazing!
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It literally takes like 30 minutes. The rest is recovery time, then you go home.
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Be better for him to take the day off after he recovers and is feeling better and you can have a nice family day out over christmas.
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It’s a very very quick procedure have a family member it friend go with you
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Tubes in the ears are NOT a big deal, my dad didn’t go when I had mine put in and I was 3.
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Id leave his ass a surgery is a surgery!
My husband didn’t take off work when my son had this done… pretty quick & easy
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I am sorry to say but your husband is correct he can’t be taking that last personal day off for that it a simple procedure. Your a mom be strong he will be supportive after the surgery and be there for the follow ups and be there at home to help you through it…let him save that personal day.
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Mine didnt take off when Mason got his tubes done at 9 months. My mom came with me just in case but he was running around and acting completely normal 5 minutes after we got home
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I had my fathers child take off work and he wanted to take off work for our sons tubes in and tonsils out. Surgery is surgery simple or not it can be nerve wracking on a parent especially alone. If he has to work maybe ask a family member to go with you or a close friend for emotional support.
Yeah it’s not a huge deal. It sounds like you want him to be there more for your sake than your child. 
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Youre being dramatic.
Yes ur being dramatic
You’re kinda being selfish
This is small. My baby had it done along with adenoids and tonsils. Easy procedure. And if he is worried about finances, then support his decision to not be there. This is small. And fast. And you got this. Your son will be fine and financially, it’s probably the best choice. You’re being overdramatic. Calm mama.
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Simple. No need to worry. Less than a hour
Yea ur being pretty dramatic
Tubes are not a big deal, in and out in no time. Do you have a friend or family member to go with you if you feel you need support?
My daughter had tubes put in her ears at four. I didn’t ask her father to take the day off.
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It is always scary when our babies have anything like that done. But I dont think it us such a big deal if he doesn’t want to be there. If you need him there for you, maybe talk to him about it.
Definitely over reacting.
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My friend’s husband didn’t take off work when her son had them in. My next question would be how far you have to travel to the hospital.
Yes you are being dramatic and a little selfish, without realizing it (I hope), you are saying that your son’s father doesn’t care enough about him. It’s a very simple surgery that many children have, it’s almost always an outpatient procedure.
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it really depends on your financial situation too… can you honestly afford for him to miss the whole day with no pay… I would see if there’s anyone else like a friend or family member who could go with you to make yourself feel better
It is not that big of a procedure. Yes, you are being dramatic. He is right to save that day off for a real emergency.
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I’m kind of meh on that. its not a big deal My x didn’t come with my sons hernia surgery I took my mom along with me. If he doesnt have a lot of time I wouldn’t push the issue on this.
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I understand as a mama its stressful but i think you want him there for you more than for your little one. Its such a simple procedure I’d let my husband work and I’d ask my mom to come with me or someone like that
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If dad is the main source of income for the family, it doesn’t make sense to ask him to take the time off. Tubes are not a major surgery. He is right to save his personal day for an emergency or something he legit needs time off for. I’m with dad on this one.
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You should take your child and let his father save his personal day for a true emergency
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I was a wreck when they took my baby back for the ear tube procedure. Me and his father are not together but I was glad he was there for it cause he reassured me he would be fine. It was quick but I wouldn’t have wanted to be alone for those 30 minutes stressing.
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My husband has never been My son has had to put in to promoving tonsils and add noise removed add noise removed again and my Husband getting go to any of them because he was working gotta have that money to pay for it! There’s nothing he could have done anyway! I know it’s scary as a mama but you can get through it just call family or friends for motional support
You can do it urself 
its literally a in and out procedure. Been thru it 4x with my kids. Why risk his job? Thats just selfish on ur part
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My husband would be coming with us as long as we could afford him missing the day.
I’m on the opposite side than most in this. But yes I think he should take the day off. What’s one personal day. And when my baby is scared or nervous. I want to be there
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I don’t think you are being dramatic at all. Your BABY is having a SURGERY no matter how minor everyone is saying it is. If your child is undergoing anesthesia, especially for the first time, it’s a big deal. I would expect him to take off as well, even if it’s only half day.
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I don’t think your being dramatic at all, like no the surgery isn’t a big deal, but watching your baby be put to sleep is horrific & I hated being alone when my eldest went through grommets, tonsils & adenoids! If he can’t he can’t (mine was away with the army) but I’d wanted him there 100% … hugs x
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If it was a bigger surgery then I’d see your point but if it’s a simple procedure then I see his point.
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I had tubes in my ears and only my mom was there. Its not a major surgery so why have dad there if theres nothing for him 2 do? He will miss work just 2 stare basically. Its not something u cant handle on ur own.
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He doesn’t need to be there, it’s super simple.
It really isnt too bad of a procedure, quick and easy and then theyre normal all day. Its scary when they get taken back and i know youd feel better having him there with you, but I’d let him save his days for something else
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My husband worked when our daughter had tubes. My mom and granny went with me just for support. We needed him at work more than I needed him to sit in the waiting room for an hour. It’s minor, he will be fine!
My son had to have dental surgery, his dad wasnt there, as much as I wanted him there for comfort… Yes it was scary and I was a mess but we made it thru without him there. He makes more money out of us two so him working was important. He messaged me throughout the day and called so it was a bit easier.
Overreacting for sure. As a friend or family member to go with you while he works. Never know when he may need that day off.
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Ur the mom and he works so I should do it solo
I wouldn’t expect my husband to use his final pto day for a simple procedure that’s over in 15 minutes. I would handle it myself and have my husband keep that day for an actual emergency
Maybe she wants him there for SUPPORT. No you are not being dramatic
My husband didn’t get the day off. Procedure was like 10 minutes or something, I was there for the prep. Put him in comfy jammies and take his favorite stuffed toy. Just make sure some comfort food is stocked, Mac n cheese, soups, etc…
You’re being dramatic! I have
5 kids (10-29) and very rarely did my husband go to any medical appointment or dentist.
My 10 yr old had 4 sets of tubes.
I’d rather husband work and keep his personal and vacations days for something that is really necessary.
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He should take the day off.
Its really a quick and simple procedure. My daughter had them. Not really a big deal to lose work on
“A simple procedure” it may just be tubes being out in but the child will be sedated and that can always go wrong. I would see if he can work a later shift, switch someone or make sure he can get to the hospital if an emergency takes place.
My son was under a whole 5 minutes and was fine the rest if the day. You can handle it.
Well it depends on y’all’s Financial situation. My Husband takes off for everything important period if he has the paid time off or we can afford it. he would take off. 31 years married and 2 kids and we help raise a grandson with autism so yeah he even saves days for his important appointments. With all that being said if he was not able to take it off I wouldn’t guilt trip him.
My take is take the day off. With any surgery there is risk . How would he feel if he went to work and there was compilation and he died on the table Happens everyday may not be for tubes but thing go wrong .
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He really doesn’t need to be there. I work in s surgery center and it literally takes 5 minutes for the surgeon to insert and by the time they get home they are back to themselves
It is a very simple procedure and takes only minutes. No need to worry. Take a friend and let Dad go to work. You and your baby will get back home in short order.
The year is over, but maybe he needs his day for something more important
Honestly it is really a simple procedure. In and out type thing. Work pays the bills and as a family with a child to care for we rely on money and for little stuff such as that I would never ask my man to skip work and lose money. Major stuff ?Then yes definitely.
Ear tubes are like 10 minutes and he’ll end up being more annoyed that he had to take the day off from it.
Impending doom,not a good juju prior to surg.Mom needs support,? Allergic reaction to anesthesia,anyone ever heard of that,never say never,dad go along with her and infant.
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My daughter has had this done many times, it’s very simple doesn’t last long like 5 mins, and they are good to go. Mama you got this!!!
In her defense my nephew went into respiratory arrest twice after coming out of anesthesia and had to be resuscitated both times for a simple tubes procedure… though it’s very rare you never know how the kid will react to anesthesia or sedatives no matter how simple the surgery… I think it’s always good to have someone with you , if he can’t do it have someone else… I’m SURE it will be fine but I agree with her
No need in him missing a day of work for him to just sit in a waiting room while it’s being done. If you couldn’t be there then I would say it’s an issue but he only needs one parent there. My son had five major surgeries in the first five years of his life…I was the only one there for all of them
Its november… How many days does he have left and need… Ur not being dramataic. Id be upset too especially if he had the days to use
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I would let him work. He may need that day for an emergency inghe future and you’ll be glad he had it. I know it’s a big deal now but it won’t be later on. Just calm down, breathe, and let him work.
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