The best thing to do is block her!!! Block anyone close to her… friends, family, any association with her block them!! You take those babies and love them like your own!! Never speak bad of her and provide a loving, well structured joke for them and in time as hard as it may seem those kids will see her actions compared to y’all’s. Ignore her and communicate when necessary about the kids only. It’s going to be one of the toughest things you go through I swear by it cause I’ve delt with my husbands ex wife for years!! She tells her kids their dad is lazy and I’m a piece of shit… the best one yet is that I’m a perfect step mom… anytime the kids ask to come to their dads she puts a guilt trip on them!! This woman psychologically and emotionally abuses her kids 24/7…. The kids react to it as well but you have to structure, discipline, rules and lots of love!! Mostly patience and you will sit and cry a lot!! It’s is most definitely a roller coaster but if you put in the work to show those kids who you are and love them and always be there I promise they will get it!! Document everything and I mean everything and when the time is right present it before a judge. Let the kids see someone to talk to if necessary and present it to the judge as well!! Never fall into her drama or traps. Focus on you and those kids and their dad!! You got this!!! I’m going through the similar stuff and I’ve learned to block her ass!!!
Let her keep showing her true colors… she won’t get any where… the kids will catch on
Quit reading her posts and don’t get into their arguments other than being supportive to your husband.
If she keeps doing facebook will kick her off i only know because my husbands ex wife had kept saying she wanted him dead because in her mind she believes hes keeping her from her 6 yr old daughter which she never does anything for babygirl also i would tell the police weve had to a few times and she was put in jail but she hasnt learned her lesson since her new husband keeps bailing her out
You should have a court order correct that’s contempt in any state screen shot the Facebook post and document all the stuff with the kids and go to court
Continue to be good parents and the kids will see. My fiances daughter is unfortunately going through the same thing, her mom tells her everything bad about her dad and she comes to us upset about it and all we can do is love her and show her that her dad isnt bad
Tell her how much it’s really hurting the kids long term!
Go to therapy to help process and don’t stoop to her level.
Check his parenting plans. She is in violation
There’s not much you can do,but pray the kids see the truth by your actions.
Keep logs of EVERYTHING if you ever have to go to court.
Ignore it. Love those kids and eventually they’ll realize the lies their mom is spewing. She sounds bitter and immature. Ignoring her is the only way to deal with people like that. She wants a reaction.
You and your husband keep taking care of the kids and reassure them how much he and you love them. That’s all you can do.
Stop following her on Facebook. Stay out of their problems.
Keep doing what you should be doing. Keep a journal and notes in case you need to go back to court. Dont play along with petty! It wont do anything but bring you down to their level.
Take her to court for it.
Head up chest out time is all you have. The children is going ti figure it out but til then keeo loven n huggen on them
You just have to keep being the bigger person and keep giving the kids all the support you can. Kids realize on their own which parent was in the wrong as they grow and see the difference in how each parent behaves.
Start documenting everything.
Anything you say or do WILL be used against you… I’m going though that now… stay strong!!!
Do nothing. Let the power be in ur hands. Kids are very smart and will see through her bullshit
Ignore her. The kids will understand once they’re older.
The kids will know the truth and respond accordingly .
I hope if I were in this position I’d collect all the evidence I could and take her to court. Maybe she’s unstable and doesn’t need as much access to them. Maybe she’s just a bitter beeeeech that needs a lesson in running her mouth. Either way, I’d hang her out to dry as long as you’re sharing all info and not leaving out something sketch on the dad out of convenience so everyone will take your side. Feel me?
Ur husband ex is crazy
Block her facebook and go get legal custody and then reprimand her for the slander, if that dont work tell the kids their mother is adopted that’s why shes nuts 
Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do besides try to make them understand that she is just doing to hurt their father. They will eventually learn on their own that their mom was putting shit into their heads about their father and eventually resent her for all the shit that she said
It’s a really difficult situation to be in, the only thing you can do is to love those kiddos and talk positively about their mother in front of them, I know from experience that when they’re a little bit older that is exactly what they’re going to remember and respect and love about you all, hang in there:clap:t3:
YOU shouldn’t get involved…
I’m sorry but its not your place. Kids grow up…
My dad trying turning us against our mother and relatives. It didn’t work. We saw the truth and your step kids will too. No one can turn someone against you if you’re kind to them. No one.
You stay out of their problems first off… for you sanity.
Second he can document by taking pictures and video then take it to the judge.
If y’all go through the court system I’d report it. That’s slander and normally it’s against every court order there is with child custody involved.
Soon the children will be able to see the toxic behavior of their mother, usually doesn’t take long.
Sue her for defamation, screenshot every thing… she sounds like an immature, jealous and a very bad person…
My advice is to stay in your lane.
YOU mind your business and let the parents have a conversation.
Kick her in the face
You should ignore her negativity. Your kids know the truth.
Fyi… If u can print off her post on FB… Do it… Keep them…i don’t care if you keep them for 50 years … DO IT !! but don’t get into her arguing…
Take her to court and end that
That is horrible! I would suggest documenting everything you can including dates/times. Make sure to take pics of the posts if you can, save all texts, emails, document calls. Does he have a current CO?
Keep a copy of everything you see online. You cannot talk bad about the other parent to the kids. She definitely cannot involve them in any arguments. Your husband needs to file the complaint and take it to court. People lose custody over this behavior. It’s called parent alienation and she will get reprimanded by the judge.
Document a of this and take her to court. That’s abusive.
Toxic ex’s are the worse… I feel sorry for you and the children. Unfortunately she’s still in love with your husband. If she wasn’t she wouldn’t be acting this way. I myself have been dealing with one of those for 12 years. It will take time but it does get better… hang in there! You’re being a good stepmom!
Y’all keep doing right. Be mature, don’t talk ugly about the mom, don’t involve the kids in things they shouldn’t be in-it sucks but eventually the kids will see the situation for what it is.
Honestly this sounds petty. “We make sure they have everything they need when they are with us”. They are kids. They should have everything they need no matter where they are. A dad who is actively a good father won’t have his kids turned against him. They will see and realize the truth as they grow.
I e heard of a judge in family court ordering that neither parent is to talk negitve toa child about each other and if they do they could get in trouble
Its called disparaging, and it is a power game! Especially since the kids are living with her.
Begin documenting each and every occurrence. Use fb screenshots as proof (put them in the documentation, too).
My guess is she will take you back to court over something…anything. Then use this in your rebuttal. GET A GOOD ATTORNEY!
Yes, document everything. Take screen shots and save them with dates. But in reality there isn’t a ton you can do. You’ll really need to build a case before you attempt court. If the kids are old enough to have a conversation with… Make sure they understand that they are loved.
Try to avoid drama. Sometimes you need to use a little psychology… I bet she enjoys getting arise out of you guys and if she is petty it won’t stop. She’s going to push every button that she can. Maybe Google how to deal with adult bullies. Sometimes you have to pretend to be nice and let someone think they are winning or respond in a way they don’t know how to react because it wasn’t what they expected. It works 
.
Just keep loving those kids and doing everything for them. Just ignore her toxicity because a reaction is what she is looking for. The kids and everyone around her will see that she is causing the drama in the long run
Are you sure she cheated or is that just what he said. As for facebook is she naming him? If she is you can document it but if not named courts can say it’s just a meme not directed at anyone.
It’s his business to deal with , not yours trust me on this…you are wasting ur time involving urself. There’s types of toxic blended families u don’t want to waste energy in. They never change & u just stress urself out dealing with their dysfunctional separation. But if he doesn’t involve you or care how u feel and she could careless bc she envys you being where she once was. There’s nothing you can do but be there for him.
Keep screenshots of everything. Trust me it may come in handy one day. There is no reason for a significant other ex or not to talking bad to the kid(s) about the other.
I know it doesn’t sound like the right thing to involve the kids but the mother already has. Bringing the entire family to an understanding on the situation with her would be the best option.
My mom used to constantly bad mouth my father and he let it go for YEARS until one night he sat me down and he was like “look Ive been dealing with this this and this from your mother I know she talks about me and involves you guys on our issues which she shouldn’t but since she does is there anything you wanna talk to me about?” And we sat and had a very open and honest conversation and my dad had loads of proof to back up everything he said from proving child support payments to text messages to even a note my mother had left him when he came back from deployment saying she wasn’t ready to be a mom and my dad should just get to keep us. I’m honestly glad my dad handled it the way he did because my relationship with him flourished pretty well after wards as it was obvious to me that he wasn’t lying about anything and my mother lied to us about ALOT.
How do you know what is posted on FB do you stalk cause that’s just creepy and no one should be bad trashing anyone the father could not be just as innocent either you don’t know can’t always blame the mother I find that comment offensive if you ask me your bad trashing the mother on media and that’s just as bad and offensive to what was just said. Sounds to me like your just trying to dig up dirt by watching .
Go to therapy. Everyone separately and together.
Absolutely nothing continue to live and love the children
Its his business not your to deal with.
Tell her like it is.
Nothing, kids are smart & can figure it out on their own, which parent is the problem. Just keep being a good step mom & never speak bad about the other parent in front of the children
Its not a “we” thing. Its a him thing. He needs to handle it. Not you…
Slap her and say “I compel you beast!”
Join the group Child Custody Matters: Everything Custody, Visitation, Support & Court
Be the exact opposite to her. Show the kids you guys are loving even to those who have nastiness in their heart.
You can sue for full custody, parental alienation , as well as deformation for the fb posts. All you need is a track record of evidence, let her keep digging a hole for a bit then serve her ass 
parent alienation is grounds for a lawsuit. illegal as in criminally chargeable in some states and can be groumds for psychological testing and more custody…start keeping proof…if necessary contact a lawyer…tell em to make adeal with her that if she stops you wont pursue it but if it continues youll be asking for more custody
Been there, what a terrible ride. Ok so. There is nothing you can do about her actions. Yes it’s horrible, I’m very sorry, I went through the exact same thing. It’s hard and it hurts. Court won’t do anything without concrete proof. The best thing you can do is a) love those kids no matter what and tell them this, everyday b) continue on with your lives c) do not engage in arguments in front of the child. If she tries just let her and go on about your day. You’ll make her mad and show the kids what a better person looks like. D) never disrespect the mother to or in front or near ear shot off the kids. Always be positive and encouraging of their relationship and view of their mother. E) get kids in therapy
So no one, neither you nor the father, has the right to tarnish her image to the kids. Again yes what she is doing is wrong and unhealthy, but making her look bad will hurt YOUR relationship with the kids. Just let them see you are there. every time. Always listen. Always love.
Being this will be a struggle for then, if she is trying to damage the relationship with the kids, they need a therapist to work through it. Plus if she ever tried to use it in court that they don’t want to be with you, this will back up your story that it is the best for them to be there.
All you can do counteract get vile with positivity and happiness. The kids will see what the truth is
You can’t do anything… the father needs to handle his ex and his children… you can stand by him as he works with this as a wife should but you should let him deal and not get involved… while you probably feel you should step in as he is your husband, you will make matters worse and a bigger mess will be created… if hes that bothered he’ll do something about it
I have been and am in the same situation. The kids are now 12, 14, 15 and 16 and they see how toxic she is. I advised my man to keep it PG when dealing with her and the kids saw themselves why he left her. She just last night told her kids that they will be the reason she commits suicide because they dont respect the fact that she is still hurting from losing their father over 3 years ago because she still loves him. Total nut job. Just be there for your man as best as you know how and just keep in the background
When the kids get older they will know who the messed up one is never talked down abt her infront of the kids they will grow to hate u
Take them to family court they can loose custody for that. Sad that people do that to their kids .
You should probably stay out of her drama and your husband should probably handle it.
First off she seems to have a lot of hate. By the sound of her posting everything on Facebook, seems as she wants attention and people to feel bad for her. Very immature move on her part. And for her to involve children in arguments that needs to stay between the adults, that there along shows what kind of mother she really is. That is something that is really messy. You two keep doing what y’all are doing. Keep loving those and doing what y’all do for them. I am sorry this is happening.
Proof with their own eyes and heart will be far more important than words out of her mouth. But you could keep all the evidence if ever needed for court, it will be good to have. That’s extremely wrong on her part.
As a child of a parent who did that non stop and relentlessly, all it did was cause turmoil in my life. I questioned my relationship with my father a majority of my life until I chose him (parent b still refuses that she did anything) unfortunately, I had to limit my relationship with her… and siblings. It was for the better though, I had to create boundaries for my own sanity and happiness. My dad said his biggest regret in this whole thing is that he sat back when he could’ve taken action, taken her to court, he had full custody of the kids. I have a sibling who is a year younger than me, who hasn’t spoken to my father since he was… 13? As a result of my mother’s toxic behavior and inability to properly coparent.
Just ignore it and keep being the bigger people. Keep loving the kids and showing them good examples. As they get older they’ll realize on their own she is toxic.
You can actually take her back to court and ask that no shit talking the parents or step parents, and have it included in your custody file.
Me and my ex have that in ours. You most definitely can do that.
Save and document everything she posts and texts etc…take it to court and have it put in the agreement for the wellbeing of the children.
Same. Unfortunately, at the end of the day all we can home is the kid understands dad was there. Day alway paid. Dad always sacrificed times for summer camp, deployments, anything that made his/our sons life easier in regards to his mother. Never because we didn’t want him but because it kept the normalcy for his life. It does suck though especially when they guy is a guy or dad and they just didn’t work
Keep documentation/screenshots but always know those kiddos will remember which parent continued to play childish while the other had their needs as a priority. If given the opportunity to take it to the courts, present what you have but don’t expect much. Then at least you have physical/legal proof.
Hope she grows tf up. Ultimately the kids are the ones that suffer. Just keep doing what you’re doing. The older they get they’ll see through this bs
There’s not much you can do… been living this for 12years! All you can do if prove her wrong. Don’t argue, don’t pay anything she says any mind. Just love yalls life to the fullest! Time will show/tell those kids what’s right and wrong. It may truly suck when they get a bit older… like teens (if not already) because they already have so much going on with school, friends, pressure, puberty/hormones. You may lose them for a bit…. But you’ll get them back! Good luck, I know it’s a jagged pill to swallow
People like that are to be pitied for they will never be happy
Id keep posting all the good stuff even pics w the kids if I was friends friends the so called person I’d comment and speak my mind each time she did that. It worked for me and the so called mom eventually stopped bc ppl realized she was just being bitter and she ended up giving up her rights as well. My kids always knew what was going on bc we never kept anything from them bc they had the right to know what their egg donor was doing.
Their Dad should deal with the matter, not you. They have one mother and it’s not you. Put yourself in her shoes.
These situations need therapy