My husbands ex is still in love with him

My husband decided we would go out with his ex wife and her boyfriend and his kid to the bar at the beginning of October. Ex wife starts the night off by telling everyone very loudly that she is still in love with my husband and misses him. I brush it off to her being shit faced because she had already started drinking prior and was pretty drunk. Well the night progresses and she's all over my husband and trying to kiss him and he just sits there and takes it knowing full well it's bothering me and also I had to remove his hand from her ass after coming back from the bathroom. Also my husband smokes 2-3 cartons of cigarettes a week and flat told me and a few others if I was to start smoking he would leave me. Every time I have a friend of the opposite sex I'm automatically cheating. If my employees text or call me I'm cheating. I'm an assistant manager. He can walk into a station or whatever and say hello gorgeous or beautiful to the person behind the counter but If I say anything to the male it's world war 3.... Like I love this man with everything in me but how do I go about explaining how this is not okay.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husbands ex is still in love with him - Mamas Uncut

His hella double standards are a no from me. And the whole ex gig is a weird red flag :sweat_smile::eyes:

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Uh. Heā€™s cheating on you, promise has been for awhile, cut your losses and bounce. No dick is worth that headache

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This sounds crazy one sided. Some people will only love you as far as they can use you. My gut says runšŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļø

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Heā€™d be divorced as fast as he got married! Iā€™d tell him go have fun with your ex

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When things are one sided like that they donā€™t ever see what youā€™re saying or come close to understanding.

You cut your losses and run, I was accused of cheating by my husband who was, if heā€™s not heā€™s thinking about it, big red flag with the ex.

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Why do you think you love him?

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Sounds like heā€™s more interested in his ex than he lets on.
We canā€™t help who we love but itā€™s equally as easy to learn to love a new personā€¦ā€¦ maybe time to cut bait?
Youā€™re worth being someoneā€™s ONLY focus and Desireā€¦.

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Donā€™t explain it ā€¦ he already know babe ā€¦

So why is it you say you love him?

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Leave and let someone else love you the way you deserve.

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I donā€™t know how you can brush something like that offā€¦:eyes: this whole situation is toxic. Someone needs to man up and end it.

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I would advise you to get into therapy to find out why you ā€œloveā€ a man who so blatantly disrespect you and is so controlling.

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Why the hell were they even with their kid at a bar drunk?

Anyways. Did he willingly put his hand on her ass or did she pull his hand and put it on her ass? Not that it really matters because everything you just listed is so disrespectful.

I could never be with someone who talks that way to girls. I can almost guarantee you heā€™s cheating on you or cheating with ex wife.

This behavior will never change. You either have to live with it (which you never will be able to, itā€™ll eat you alive) or you need to move on.

Hell no. Fuck that!!!

Hes more than likely sexually involved with his ex.

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Heā€™s feeling up his ex wife IN FRONT OF YOU! Boy bye :wave:t2:

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Heā€™s a red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: and probably smells like a walking ashtray :nauseated_face:

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Heā€™s definitely projecting his guilt on to you. Heā€™s cheating. Leave.

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Girlfriend. They sound like they are still hooking up. And gross to the 2-3 cartons.

I wouldnt put up with this. You can do better for yourself

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Do what her boyfriend did and leave the situation :sob::sob::sob:

Momma always said theyā€™ll only do what you allow them too :woman_shrugging:
Put your foot down!

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Iā€™m sorry, but the moment I saw my husbands hand on another womanā€™s butt that would be over. Drunk or not he still wants his ex.

He doesnā€™t deserve you!!!

Be happy and leave:)

You donā€™t have to explain that some things arenā€™t okay. He knows itā€™s not but doesnā€™t care. The only solution would be to stop loving a man with your whole heart that doesnā€™t give a :poop: about you

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A man like that is NOT going to listen to why itā€™s not okay to act that way. He will turn it all around on you. Been there done that and you would be better off getting far away from him

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He probably loves that his ex isnā€™t over him- and itā€™s true we all get over our exā€™s in our own time and healing process. I dk how u couldnā€™t see this behavior before u married him like how he thinks itā€™s ok to say hello beautiful to anyone else but u

My exā€™s would say they leave me if I smoke- I got rid of them and smoked lol ur not gonna tell me how to live my life- ex husband and baby daddy

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Qwit going to places where his ex will be.

Yeahā€¦get tf out of there now

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I am saying this because I was in your shoes.
Run.
Take just the clothes on your back if you have to, but get out.
Please. While you still can.
PLEASE.

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Wow I feel sorry 4 her boyfriend. How did he respond 2 all this? N yes ur hubby was very disrespectful 2 u by letting her behavior continue. Sounds like he enjoyed the attention.

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Divorce papers is how you tell him itā€™s unacceptable and you deserve better than that shit.

Hmmm heā€™s a prick and probably still sleeping with the ex walk away fast!!

Please read up about narcissist. Iā€™m not saying he is or isnā€™t. Only you know the depth of his toxicity. Just please read up on the signs and red flags. Knowledge is power. You deserve better.

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you donā€™t give him an explanation you leave him :woozy_face:

Dump his ass he is just USING you and for you to let him get away with that demeaning stuff he is doing , well you just need to leave the Ass

Itā€™s time for :sparkles:DIVORCEā€‹:sparkles:

Man is cheating

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Why explain? Girl, if you donā€™t find your self respect and leave this terrible sounding man alone! Let him go back to the ex bc no fā€™n way am I gonna be an option or CONTROLLED. BUH-BYE :v:t2:

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You shouldnā€™t have to explain to him, he either gets it or not

If my husband was purposefully touching another womanā€™s ass and I saw it (nonetheless had to STOP the behavior) - I wouldā€™ve walked out of that bar and his things wouldā€™ve been out for him on the lawn when he got home. BYEEEEEE

Red flags ā€¦ red flags ā€¦ red flags ā€¦ 2 options deal with it and put your foot down or keep ignoring it and turn the other way ā€¦ choose your poison ā€¦ either way it wonā€™t be pretty

Says alot about your self respect lol

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Leave his ass and move on! You donā€™t deserve all that heartache. A real man will treat you right. There are still good ones out there girl. Staying with him is holding you back. Quit wasting your own time and get out there and find the life you deserve! :heart:

Heā€™s cheating already or wants to! Leave him! He should have corrected his ex wife! He does not love you

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Ummm?? No offense but why on earth are you even with this dude?

Leave him, youā€™ll never be truly happy with someone like that.

Heā€™s cheating.
My ex 100%

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I donā€™t understand why people are laughing at this post. This woman is obviously being emotionally and mentally manipulated and abused. There isnā€™t anything funny about her pain. :woman_shrugging:

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Leave him, he has no respect for you!

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Sounds like a narcissist. You better off to just get a divorce then wasting your breath. :heart: Iā€™m sorry your dealing with such

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He sounds like he has a guilty conscience. He doesnā€™t want you talking to the opposite gender, because he is all too aware of how he speaks to women. Red flags everywhere. He obviously wants his ex back. Leave.

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Reread your post to yourself, girl leave him!

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Prime example of narcissistic behavior

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Iā€™ll never understand how people put up with shit like this :thinking:

If I even saw this someone would be getting slapped ainā€™t no questions about it!

Sounds like heā€™s projecting everything he does on you.

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Heā€™s already cheating

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You need to learn to deserve do much better and demand it and he is not it. Girl you need to get rid of him.

OMG :triangular_flag_on_post: He sounds disgusting. Shouldā€™ve walked away the second his hand was on another womanā€™s ass. What does he do when your not around?! :nauseated_face:

Itā€™s the hand on the ass part. I woulda been livid. Thatā€™s a big nope for me.

Read what you wrote. If your sister or daughter told you thisā€¦ What would you say??
You donā€™t need validation from strangers.
You will be the one that has to live with this.

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girl leave that man alone and let his ex wife and their kids have him back :triumph:

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Get out now while you still have loveā€¦ because you will lose that too if you stay too long

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Sounds like heā€™s already cheating with his ex wife.

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Well if you reread what you statedā€¦ this doesnā€™t sound okay and this is emotional abuse ā€¦ You donā€™t love him ā€¦ you just are comfortable being in THAT relationship and you probably are just attached and leaving isnā€™t an option right now because you just donā€™t want to be alone. Which is normal ā€¦ But the healing process can take awhileā€¦ itā€™s 2021 girl almost 2022 ! Times are changing you donā€™t have to put up with this !!! You gotta work on your mentality that you can do this alone with or without men ! Infact many women live happier and less stress than to continue a relationship that sounds like it wonā€™t get to anywhere other than pain, stress and drained and you gotta ask yourself ā€œam I not good enoughā€ trust me you are more than enough but NOT to that person !!! You need to learn how to respect yourself !!! Because if he doesnā€™t who will??? Get a backbone put your big girl panties on and put your foot down !! You donā€™t like it ? Donā€™t deal with it simple ! He thinks he sees nothing wrong ?? Great but you do and itā€™s best to move on ! Nothing wrong with leaving ! And a divorce ! Infact it can be the best thing to ever happen to you :sparkling_heart: ITS YOUR LIFE OWN IT ALREADY !!!

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Jerry Jerry Jerry-
Your to good for him!

You need to move on. I know from experience it isnā€™t going to end well. You deserve better!

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Maybe if you went full psycho, heā€™d be scared enough not to disrespect you in front of you :rofl::rofl:

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Heā€™s obviously got a guilty conscience :thinking:

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So, whatā€™s good for the goose AINT good for the gander. Gotcha. :unamused:

He can smoke, you canā€™t. Never did I hear of that being a reason for divorce- but absolutely this control, now thatā€™s a good reason for divorce. And his lack of boundaries.

Big time narcissistic behaviour, you need to look it upā€¦ you need more support thanā€¦ this. Us telling you to leave is worthless, you wonā€™t.

If I could say anything to you, itā€™s TRUST YOUR GUT. Itā€™s right. You are correct in all your concerns. And yes, yes you can make it on your own.

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I didnā€™t even need to read it all. Heā€™s guilty. In my experience if a guy constantly accuses you of cheating, theyā€™re either already cheating on you or thinking about cheating. Heā€™s projecting. You caught him with his hand on his ex wifeā€™s butt. Thatā€™s literally telling you all you need to know. Drunk or not, doesnā€™t matter. A drunk manā€™s actions are his sober thoughts. You donā€™t need us to tell you what you already know.
Leave him. Heā€™s trash.

Im sorry, sounds like a case of heā€™s being a dog. And probably not even with his stupid ex

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Narcissistic people canā€™t be told anything

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This manā€™s hand is on his ex wifeā€™s ass? Iā€™d have lost my mind, how is he entertaining her flirting AND acting on it. Heā€™s either cheating with whoever or super controlling, leave girl LEAVE !! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

Nothing on that situation is okay. That is red flag manipulating and controlling behavior. Leave that man honey.

Leave that bitch that ainā€™t a man :joy:

Dont explain anything, he knowsā€¦ he just doesnt care.

Choose your next step wisely.

You donā€™t, do leave though. Guarantee heā€™s likely done more than flirt.

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You already know the answer. Itā€™s time to set sail.

So why didnā€™t you move on in with the exā€™s boyfriend lol

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You gotta do whatā€™s best for you. In my experience, the ones who are like that never change and thereā€™s a chance heā€™s already cheating. Especially since heā€™s accusing you of doing so. Your next move is totally your decision, but I do want you to know thereā€™s better out there. I put up with crap for 10 years from my ex. I finally left and Iā€™ve never been happier

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Heā€™s an adult, no explanation is necessary he already knows what he is doing is wrong

Leave you deserve better my love. Xxxxx

You deserve better. Thatā€™s all I can say. I was in an emotionally relationship like this for 12 years. I wish I had got out of it years ago. I spent way to long being unhappy. There are men out there that will treat you the way you deserve and girl this ainā€™t it.

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Give him back to his ex. Heā€™s clearly broken :woman_shrugging:

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Not for me. Iā€™d be done.

Heā€™s definitely banging his ex. :woman_shrugging:t2:

You need to look at this situation as if you are seeing this happen to your sister/mum- whatā€™s your advice?

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Run. If he was respecting you. You would flat out tell heā€™s ex to back off and he wouldnā€™t let her touch him also itā€™s controlling to say that you canā€™t be on your phone and have a general conversation with someone. Also manipulation and blackmail by saying that he would leave if you started smoking yet heā€™s allowed to smoke.

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What? Who goes out with the ex to have drinks? I donā€™t care if her man was there. Obviously there is still a spark between them two. Give him back to her and let her deal with his jealousy!

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WTF is wrong with you? Heā€™s a piece of shit who clearly has no respect for you or your feelings. And let me tell you, sweetheart, it ainā€™t going to get any better. Heā€™ll just keep pulling this shit because you allow it. You want him to change? Guess what he wonā€™t. You want to change things? Then kick his stupid, useless, douchebag ass out of your life, things will change in your life real quick after that, for the better. Lets his drunken slut of an ex-wife have him, sounds like they deserve each other. A match made in Hell. Get on with your life and learn to have some self respect and love for yourself.

He is a grown ass adult. He KNOWS it isnā€™t okay. You donā€™t have to explain anything. The fact he had his hand on her ass? Uh, no. & you may love him, but given what youā€™ve told us, he doesnā€™t love you or respect you at that.

Enough with the blindness

Sounds like a NARCISSISTS !!!

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Let the ex have him. He knows better than to act the way he does and he sounds controlling, probably because heā€™s cheating.

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A drunk person speaks a sober mind

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Please wake up to what. Is infront of you! The signs is clearly there in plain sight!!! Run!!!

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