Why would they idolize someone that hurt him?
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Well, after this is done…there will be no more updates on the unfortunate Miss Wanda 
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What’s weird to me is that he’s allowed them to keep updating him.
Like really? And you for that matter. Hell no.
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They sound very toxic, I don’t know how your marriage works, but my husband and I both draw a boundary and keep negative or toxic people away from our marriage doesn’t matter who you are (mother, father, sibling) if you bring nothing but negativity you are not welcome in our home.
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So the mom and sis are petty and disrespectful. But also, so is your husband… why hasn’t HE told them to stop. It’s been 30 years of him being disrespectful too. He knows they’re doing this and he continues to allow his wife to be put through this!? Nah, he needs to tell them stop completely or F*ck off.
I have been married 40 yes . My MIL did not like me at all and he had 4 sisters that didn’t like me either! Well we had been married 28 years and she found out she had cancer.stage 4 breast. Well she had 4 girls and a daughter in law that she totally adored (not me). Well guess who took care of her until her last breath(me). Daughters and DIL nowhere around ! I wouldn’t turn my back on her but she seen who was there the hated one ! My husband passed almost 2 years ago and to this day they have nothing to do with me or my kids ! But I showed who was the better/bigger person !!
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If it was me I think I would tell my husband that he needs to tell his mom and sisters that if they want to continue being in his life they need to treat you with the respect that you deserve. He should tell them that if they can’t be respectful to you that they are no longer welcomed in your home and not call with updates anymore or he would change his number and block them on social sites. I doubt very seriously that they would want to be left out of his life and that could very well do they job. They don’t need to know if he’s serious or if he is bluffing them. But he needs to stand up and back his wife. After all 30 years is way to long for him to let you go through this
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30 years is a very long time! Your husband should have stood up to his family for you a longgg long time ago! I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this. Your husband needs to stand up for you and put his family in place! They need to respect you as his wife. Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you how to raise your own kids. I’m sure they are grown now and it’s sad that you had to put up with that. Talk with your husband about this entire issue. You deserve better! It’s never too late to put yourself first! As for the ex I wouldn’t worry but you need to stand up for yourself and so should your husband
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I think it’s weird you want him to go to the funeral of an ex from over 30 years ago that he didn’t keep in contact with.
There’s no rooms for exs in your life. I find it so inconsiderate when people keep updating on exs, it’s so disrespectful to you both. If you said something in the beginning and it continued then I would have had nothing to do with them.
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Go with him to the funeral by all means GO
Before thinking he should go to her service you should make sure Wanda’s family and husband is ok with it.
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SorryNotSorry I’d of cut the in-laws off 29 years ago. Nope he shouldn’t go. He DOESNT CARE. Personally I think he should’ve set them straight about it a long time ago the fact that he let it continue is weird.
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Yeah, your husband should have shut that down decades ago. He shouldnt let anyone disrespect his wife, family or not…
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30 years later and they STILL were at him above his ex? Build a bridge and get over it! Smh… I think that if he decides to go, let him know your thoughts about how her husband and kids would feel, and if he still decides to go, then let him go… he might learn the hard (and probably embarrassing) way.
I would tell them it’s been 30 years. Nobody gives a fuck about Wanda.
Congrats on your 30 years, we just made it that far ourselves on Valentines Day. You have a good oversight and acceptance of whats going on despite of it. His parents can be reminded that its going to be you and your husband burying them when the day comes, and unless they want buried next to Wanda with “in memory of Wanda…” written on their tombstones, maybe they should wake up and realize its not 1992 anymore and get with a program. Seriously, I would say that right to their faces like “this can be arranged easily, just say that name again and its going on your tombstone when you pass, next to hers so at least it looks relevant”. My inlaws sometimes rake up old ashes too but not like that.
I’d have cussed somebody out by now.
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I had the same issue with my kids’dad and his awful family. His horrible mother and sister made it a daily accomplishment to make me feel as if i would never matter… Thankfully, I got out of that nightmare.
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It’s sad that she passed but hopefully your mil will move on and stop interfering.
And I don’t think you need to push your husband to go to the funeral
You’ve put up with the crap for thirty years and now that she’s dead you are getting upset about it ??a little late in the game to get miffed …might as well play it out to it’s conclusion …but a gentle warning… unfortunately their behavior will not change now that she has passed …they will just put her higher on a pedistal…it’s up to you how much disrespect you want to continue to put up with from them and yes your husband as well…only you can answer that 
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Your husband needs to shut it down. That’s weird they’ve continued to update him for 30+ years on someone who betrayed him… And especially since they both moved in and married someone else. Your husband needs to have a talk with them about respect boundaries, respecting his marriage, and respecting you, or they need to stay out of your lives. That’s 30 years too many of toxic behavior
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I was married for 25 years his mom never liked me
Forgive them for being complete @ss hats …
Forgiveness is for you not for them …
Carry on - seems like your hubs is in it for & with you !! 
I got lucky and my inlaws passed away after about ten years. Hang in there; maybe yours will drop dead soon.
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These people are nuts. Ignore them. It’s to bad they wasted the last thirty years. Wonder who and what they will waste their time on now. Surely they know how stupid they are.
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I’d kick my inlaws to the club if that’s how they are…long ago
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I never got on well with in-laws , but you get on with it because of your children, but omg if they want hubby to get back with someone that hurt him and cheated, seem like they have no respect for their son/ brother says more about them as so call loving family, my son’s father had a stroke son’s look after their dad for years had a fallen out now my son’s have got to see another side of their aunties and grandparents, so at the end of the day we choose who we want in our life choose who you want
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I would have done cut them out of my life. Your not married to them and I’d have my say to them about something so childish. 30 years down the road apparently he never acted on anything the kept him up dated on, your the one he apparently wants for the rest of his life so the two of them could go fish in a water bucket!! You hold your head up keep loving your man and don’t let them walk on you!!!
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I think it’s time for his mother and sister to put on your big girl panties and except the fact that he’s not with her, she cheated on him so he chose to not be with her anymore. As they say, once a cheater always a cheater. That being said, y’all need to sit down and talk it out. I tried doing that with my mother-in-law. She loved me and it toward me at first 10 for some reason she 360. Cording to us that she did the same thing to her. I don’t know what her problem was and is. I have done nothing to her to have her treat me in any ill matter. She’s like bold face straight to my face as well as my husband about things and has not apologized for it.
It’s lame, but I’d let him go, and I’d join him and comfort him.
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Tell your hubby that he doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t feel comfortable, but also let your in laws know that you don’t appreciate their pushing the issue so much. They only kept doing it all these years because you allowed it. I learned from experience that what you allow will continue.
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i wouldnt have let that shit fly the day of my wedding!!!
i wouldve have ever let someone talk like that especially after 30+ yrs
oh i hope your balls grow woman to tell them to shut the fuck up or go sit somewhere else with their bullshit
i can’t believe you let them step on you all those years. eff that
If he goes it’ll look weird to her husband and family I think honestly. He wronged her. But it’s his choice and let him make it awkward while you sit at home cuz you didnt know the lady
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Time to tell them all how u feel and it’s weird they won’t let go of a high school fling
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35 years and he hasn’t cared about her if they want to they can go but seems like a waste of his time and quite odd
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You’ve been married 30 years and met after high school, u have to be at least 50, which makes his mom old enough to not be around for too much more nonsense 
. Let it go, he has proven he’s where he wants to be after 30 years. Tell his mom and sister off one good time tho just because they should hear it from you. 
RIP Wanda. If I was her family I would be weirded out by 40 year old exs family all showing up. Move on!
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Let him do what he’s gonna do. Leave it alone
Also, your husband sounds like a doormat to his mom and sis. He should have told them 30 years ago to stfu about wanda already 
It’s a Good thing Wanda has gone to the Lord, keep ignoring for the sake of your kids make those in-laws feel useless by taking whatever trial they bring your way irrelevant don’t waste your energy trying to prove anything be at peace
Encourage him to tell his mom and sister to stop mentioning it.
No - he should not go …
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I think that 35 years are way to many of you to waste your valuable time on this. It’s very unfortunate however. What are you looking for at this point? If you have been carrying this with you for this long you have much bigger issues. This man is your husband and chose you. Respect that
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Man don’t waste your time with miserable bitches my man’s family hates me because I’m passionate about him and I don’t let them use him so no forget that
Sounds like my husbands mother. He would not be attending. He has told his mother multiple times stop talking about his exs. Along with talking and being friends with them. That boundary he made, they can’t respect it then do not associate yourself with them. Family means nothing. Toxicity comes from all people, mostly family….
Your husband should have put both of them in their place. His life is with you!
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Tbh Up for ur husband if he wants to go if he changes his mind offer you can go with him for support.
I would Also Be telling the them how u feel and what u think! And hope now she sadly passed away they can’t stop going on about it
Ignore them. Let them go if they’re that desperate. Hell, they can jump in the grave & be buried with her 
You & your husband live your lives!
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Well the reality is they’ll probably be dead soon
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I would say go, if he needs closure, or to pay respects, if he was close to the family and maintained that, but neither seem to be the case.
I’d encourage him to let his family know enough is enough and since they apparently need closure, they should attend…without him.
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You’re at the end of the road now, she’s about to be put in the ground no need to worry about it. Your husband should have shut this down 30 years ago but you and he put up with it… Live on🙄
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Y’all really be to old for this stuff. Still needing some body else opinions and it can’t be that bad when you still with him and the sister ain’t beat you up yet
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I’d tell them off. They need to but the hell out especially with your children. Sorry but I’d slap someone.
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Yep. Take comfort in the fact that you’ll most likely have a say in what nursing home she ends up in…
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Sounds like your husband isn’t the problem, you being married for 30+ years and him not caring about anyone shows he really is a good husband, you just need to tell your husband’s family off 
problem solved
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It seems that you have been doing a good job at ignoring them over the years. That’s the reason why they continue with their toxic ways. They’re pained and don’t realize it. It seems that your husband has your back and you have him. Now stop the idle worry on the unimportant toxic elements.
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After 30 years & still talking about his ex. They have some real issues.
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My husband would never allow his family to mistreat me like that. You’ve dealt with it this long. I’d say your almost done with this Wanda sh** now🤷🏻♀️ As far as the family I would not put up with it
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I mean it’s been 30 years. Does your husband ever tell them to knock that shit off?
They wouldn’t be allowed in my house. Not allowed around our kids. No holidays, birthdays or anything else. They can go over to Wandas instead lol. And my husband would be clear that when he speaks to them he’s not to mention me or our kids to them, and nothing about our life, our relationship or OUR family. Otherwise he can go to Wandas house too…if her husband doesn’t mind lol cause I wouldn’t be having any of that going on in my life. If they like Wanda better they can keep it to themselves. Stand up for yourself. Hubby needs to choose. I’d say he can have his weird ass family and warm fuzzies for his ex from 30yrs ago, or he can have me. But not both. Hell no. Your man sounds like a wimp. How sad is he. Can’t stand up to them for his own wife!!! That would bother me the most. If I were you I’d set him straight on how a real man would act. And if he can’t muster it. Let the door hit him in the ass on his escorted way out the door. (Yeah that should be your new man escorting him out the door). He doesn’t need updates on funeral arrangements. When they call with updates HE should be saying Why the f@$& are you telling me this?.. I don’t care and don’t want to know…so don’t mention it to me again. If he can’t do that. Well I woulda left 29 yrs ago lol but better late then never. Then him and his sis and his mommy can snuggle and talk about Wanda together 
First off they’re nuts. Second Wanda is dead so now it’s over unless they plan on trying to convince him to be with a corpse. These people are seriously toxic and miserable.
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They are missing out and all these years for what? you deserve a good life with your husband and God would want you to have a good life with him, always be kind to them, but do not let them control your life. God’s Blessings to you and your husband!!!
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There are plenty of mommy’s boys out there. You will ever win.
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Husband needs to go grow a pair of balls and point blank tell his mom and sister NO! Why do men act like they have no backbone? I’m sorry but if my husbands family kept disrespecting me and he didn’t stand up for me, I would definitely give him an ultimatum. You don’t ignore it, you tell them how you feel! Good luck
Apparently the family doesn’t believe in loyalty to your spouse. Shame on them. I’d tell them to shut up and focus on themselves and to have some respect for you! You are his wife not Wanda and for a reason! Well on the other side you shouldn’t hear about to many more updates.
Tell them the Wanda saga has ended.
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It sounds like the crazy mother in law and sister in law need to get some professional help. I wouldn’t have been able to do what you have done for 30 years. You are a better person than I would have been. I would have told them to f— off! Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life, even if they are family.
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If he goes to the funeral go with him, your his wife and you should be by his side
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You can’t change people. And to be honest your husband can’t change them either. The whole your husband needs to put them in their place or he should have shut it down a long time ago. Is quite ridiculous considering the fact that you can’t change people. You have been married to him 30yrs you are the one he loves. In life you have to learn to pick and choose your battles. All those years you allowed his family to disrespect you. You said NOTHING. You were born with a voice and you didn’t use it. It is ok to defend yourself from anybody that is disrespecting you. Family or not. But like I said you got to learn to choose your battles wisely.
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The last sentence kinda shocked me she had her own family. She moved on as well mom and sis umm can u say bat shit crazy
Please don’t encourage your husband to go. That just seems extremely disrespectful to Wanda and her family…
I would personally not respond to any of their “updates” either.
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She’s Gone now. You can rest on that now. His family are So immature. As long as you have your husband and family and they all Love you, you have it all. You are truly Blessed. Be at Peace with that.
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It’s great he’s never shown interest and has had a great relationship with you over the years and has no interest in cheatin Wanda BUT…
HE should have put his foot down 35 years ago when he last saw her and they started giving their opinions. At ANY point in your relationship he could have told them off and should have or cut them out. It’s weird they’ve stalked her all this time and thought that she should be relevant after cheating on him. They should have been angry with her not infatuated.
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Sounds like Mom & Sister have a control issue, Stay away from them they are toxic.
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That is so weird. 30 years is along time to press some weird false relationship that they once had, where it didn’t work out for a reason, and they’re just plain creepy lol.
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Honey I understand your pain my husband and I have been together 14 years and his family don’t except me. Honestly the best thing we ever did in our lives was cut them out. We haven’t talked to his mother in almost 4 years
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Next Funeral you go to with Mom. Poke Mom and Say YOUR Next!
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It’s not you or your husband’s fault that the mom and sister arnt able to move forward. Just keep loving your husband and your kids and don’t worry what the mother and sister think.
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Time to tell your husband to tell his mother and sister back off. Enough is enough
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The real question here is why hasnt your husband put his foot down and set boundaries on this issue with his ex and how his family treats you?? My partner would never allow his family to disrespect me especially for that long. You deserve to live in peace. It also sounds like his ex also moved on and it was the mom and sister who couldnt.
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mom and sis are a tad loony lol
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Oh man this is my MIL and SIL too! Girl he chose you! Smile. Let him go to the funeral if he feels he should but if I’ve learned anything in my short years with crazies they’re gonna make it out that “he regrets not giving it another chance since he went” or make some story up about how they think he should feel emotionally. My husband had no say in his own emotions for 7 years so we cut them off and now they’re both best friends with his Ex.
I’d move far far away.
He needs to man up and stand up to them tbh.
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Let their drama go sweetie- he loves you and only you - apparently 
- my dad’s family didn’t except my mom for many reasons mainly she was mex/ ndn- they were Anglo- a lot of drama but I remember my mom would say - just smile it really bugs them and be silent let them act like a fool.
Unfortunately at the end - my Momma (and) Pops were the only ones there for them 
After this is over, you have to stand up to them! That type of personally is narcissistic, and should not be tolerated by your husband or you.
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I’d Go With Him to the dam Funeral
Say how sorry U R
Tell her Husband in Sincerity~ she picked the Best
& ur Husband & U we’re Happy too •
Call it a day 
Than I’d Tell His Mother … sorry for her Loss
But I’d have ur husband~ should have done along time•
I love my wife / she’s the Best Choice for Me
Sorry for Ur loss Mom•
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Time to put u guy’s to put your foot down on his mom an sister… They aren’t married to y’all so they really need to get out of ur relationship y’all are grown an very much in love obviously, an happy, don’t let them keep putting u down, put your guard don’t feel bad if u hurt there feelings, do they care if they hurt an disrespect u? No so don’t be kind let them know, IM HIS WIFE HE LOVES ME AN I LOVE HIM AN IM NOT GOING NOWHERE,
My bad I meant to say time to put y’all’s foot down*****
30yrs is long enough. You need to put your foot down to them. Heck send your MIL & SIL flowers and put on the card “He chose the best woman” Stop bringing me up and Please let me rest in peace! Wanda.
Sorry not sorry! Got to have a sense of humor at times.
He has to tell them he dont care, he has to be the one to do it.
Keep these ppl out of your life, your living room and your yard!!! Literally!!!