My husbands family is not in my sons life: Advice?

So my husband mom side of the family has had nothing to do with my son in the whole 2 yrs of his life, and YES, I know they have jobs and their own lives, and I feel like if they can not make any effort to be in my son life, they can just take a hike. Now my husband’s mom is not allowed in our life due to what she tried to do to myself and my son. They have not even shown up to any of his birthday parties or baptism or even sent a card, for that matter! Do yall think that if they can not show the effort they do not deserve to be called family towards my son? I am just over hubby mom side of the family


You dont have to put a ban on them. Your kid will learn who true family is.

Feel bad for your husband, just love your little family and be happy! Be kind to your husband regarding this matter!

If she tried to harm u and ur son y would u want her in ur sons life

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. I cant really say what to do but u have to do what’s best for your family and this includes your husband. What are his thoughts? It hard to make a judgment call here and obviously I dont know the whole story but u said his mom isnt allowed around so if u have banned them, then I dont think its right to then act like they’re trash for not coming around when u wont let them come around. Definitely seems like some parts are missing. I’d never keep my kids from family due to my own lack of ability to get along. As long as they arent harmful family is important, especially to our children.

Does the family know that you want them around? Maybe they feel like because you don’t want his mom around, they can’t come around either?


Ew. They can go away for good I wouldn’t even put the effort into it.

let them come to you

My kids’ dads mom lives next door and hasn’t seen them since before Christmas :expressionless:


They’re still family even if you don’t like them. Your life 🤷

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Your husband’s mum isn’t allowed in your life … But you want to include everyone else in his family. Sounds like a you problem and not a them problem.

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We haven’t talked to or seen my MIL in a year and a half. It’s been glorious! She’s a freak! I say good riddance! :blush:


I mean, they don’t want to be apart of his life and you don’t want them to be a part of his life. So what’s the issue?

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She still family no matter what. Our daughter told us few yrs back she didn’t want us her and our granddaughter lives. Because her fiance work schedule and my husband schedules. Was totally different. They live hour and half away. Till 2 yrs when we lost my mother n law. My daughter came to where my husband was seeing her grandmother before she passed. She regretted telling us that. She apologized for no matter what still family


I’ve learnt from experience just try to be honest with your kids and even though this will hurt them over the years and it kills you inside when they cry about it you need to make sure you validate their feelings and love on them.
Explain about how some people can be in an appropriate way for age. Let them know it isn’t excusable but learning to accept and move on with life is the right thing to do for your kids instead of banning them etc
Kids will realise who is there for them who contacts them etc they will learn in time that as sucky as it is atleast they have your side of the family!

Don’t worry about it just let it be. My husband’s folks were the same. I just ignored the fact that they lived in the same city we did. Just live your life and take care of your son!! If they show up be hospitable.

My moms side isnt my kids lives and im perfectly ok with it. They are toxic people and i wont allow my kids around that

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My husbands side of the family is kinda the same. I’ve taught my daughter to call them by their first names. Not uncle or aunt

You don’t have to do anything or say anything. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I got plenty of family on my own side and my ex’s side that don’t have anything to do with my kid’s. They’re not in our lives so they’re not really talked about. Nothing to worry about. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If they are not in his life why worry about what title to give them??

Blood doesn’t always mean family. My mother’s other daughter is absolutely zero relation to me or my daughter. My daughter’s aunt is not a blood relation , but we couldn’t ask for a better , more loving or caring person to be her aunt.

It sounds to me like you don’t want them around and they don’t want to be around, so I’m not sure what prompted this question. Is it that your husband wants them to feel welcome, or he’s sad that they aren’t involved? If not, then I guess… you can let the divide happen naturally? Otherwise, my feeling is that you never close the door on family unless they are a danger to you or your kids, but also that it’s not your job to chase people down. Invite them to parties to let them know they are welcome in your lives, because it’s hardly an effort to send out an extra invite once or twice a year, but don’t get offended if they don’t respond. Here’s a question though… do you go out of your way to contact them on their birthdays or their kids’ birthdays, or the holidays? Even just to say “happy [whatever]”? It takes 2 people to make or break a relationship. So again, you don’t have to chase them down and beg them to be in your life, but if you make an effort to keep that door open, at least when your child asks why they don’t know half their family you can sleep well knowing you left that door open and gave them the courtesy of a happy birthday even when they didn’t give that to you. It’s your call though. If you feel you really tried and they weren’t interested, let it go. Maybe they’ll show up for graduation? You never know. lol