Nope. I stopped reading and HATED this witch mother in law the second I read, “She tells you to let your baby cry it out”. NO YOU NEED TO TAKE A STAND AND TELL THIS WOMEN SHE HAD DAMN WELL MIND HER OWN BUSINESS!!! THAT’S YOUR BABY NOT HERS. SHE NEEDS TO GET IN HER OWN LANE. AND YOU MY DEAR MUST PUT HER IN HER PLACE AND THROW HER IN CHECK!!! BE NASTY ABOUT IT. THATS YOUR BABY!!!
Do not listen to her - a one month old should never be left to cry. She seems like a witch.
It’s your husband’s job to set boundaries and make the issue right. My husband would NEVER allow anyone to disrespect me or our marriage.
He nor his mom respect you,and I am so sorry.
He never was over her and does NOT live you like you deserve!!! Tell his mom and him to go to HELL AND MOVE IN WITH YOUR BUNDLE OF JOY!!!
He may not ever be over her. And that’s okay as long as he knows it’s his past and your his future. Yes, everything should’ve been gone but people deal with things differently. He tossed them, he’s communicating, he just needs to set boundaries with his mother about his ex and keep her opinions to herself about parenting unless asked. You need to tell him what makes you uncomfortable and hope that he tries to fix it. It’s a two way street though, so ask him if there’s anything he’d like to be adjusted aswell.
No matter how good it was she cheated & married the man she cheated with. The past is over no matter what that needs to be put in the past as does the MIL. Derespect big time w her. I know a MIL who is doing that to someone I know pisses me off. Her doing that let’s the ex enjoy it. I myself wouldn’t have married him & if I was dumb enough it would have ended cause he nor the mil are willing to leave the pass & live in th present.
I dont understand what mother would be friends after what the ex did. I can’t tell you what to do but if therapy is helping & mil doesn’t change I would leave
Why are you so focused on other people and how they manage their interpersonal relationships with people who aren’t you?
Ask your individual therapist if they think you’re ready to address and resolve your codependency. You don’t have to let other peoples attitudes and behaviors control your emotions. If you stay committed to this pattern you’re in, you’re just going to keep yourself miserable.
I think any divorce is like grieving a death. Time heals and oddly enough although it sounds like she made some bad choices, they got married for a reason so their was also good. Thank goodness they didn’t have any kids together because that would have made it even more complex. Boundaries can be so hard for people to respect so if you set your boundaries for yourself maintain your peace and say thank you for your advice, however moving forward I would really like you to not share because I prefer the way I am doing things because I have done my own research and have decided to try it this way for now. Unsolicited feedback is so hard to know how to respond or digest. So draw your boundary and maybe distance your self a little more if she isn’t catching on. In a perfect world we would tell others how we feel and they would simply respect how we feel- but that doesn’t happen as much due to egos or someone thinking they know best or they feel they are trying to help out. Same goes on the topic of the ex; “It really makes me uncomfortable that you still talk to his ex and bring it up while I’m around. I prefer we don’t talk about her it hurts my feelings and I feel disrespected.”
My MIL was the exact same way. My husband and his ex didn’t have kids together but she would call my in laws constantly crying, etc. Their marriage ended due to her cheating as well. She would call my husband at work and do anything she could to drive us apart for the first 2 years. She even came at sat with us at sporting events. My in laws had pics of their wedding up for years. My husband didn’t talk about her or keep the ring but he wouldn’t correct his mother. It’s very painful. It eventually subsided and we are now 24 years in. It will most likely stop over time but I understand how upsetting it is.
I hate when people say “let them cry it out” under 12 months old
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 17481 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
He has gotten rid of their wedding things and he’s in counciling with you… It sounds like he is trying, now you need to let go and not let his mother undo the work that you have both achieved… Maybe he finally sees what is important i.e you and his baby, not the past.
Sounds like a sticky situation for him. A lot of lies and secrets seriously will tear a man’s head apart. They aren’t built for that
Oh honey it ain’t over.
Some people process takes longer…
As unhealthy as that might be, hopefully now w/the purge of things he will be ready to continue a happy healthy relationship w/u
As far as him Mom, I’d ask her to please keep that separate out of respect !!!
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 17009 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Info Here >>> https://dollarincome94.wixsite.com/my-site
So? She isn’t going to change so you have to either learn to live with it or walk away. Your jealousy of the first wife is noticeable. You got him, not her. So let her go. So what if he keeps things. Not all his memories are bad. He probably has some good ones too. As to your parenting, all MIL have opinons about how their gkids are not being raised right. Ignore that too.
He didn’t get rid of the stuff from his first marriage, his mother has it. Dollars to donuts she will put little clues out for you to see. Red flags everywhere!
And you married him? Ugh.
Your husband didn’t get closure from his ex wife. That double life, all of that clearly cut deep. He needs therapy. You riding his rear and nit picking won’t help him at all.
This isn’t a case of disrespect from him, it’s a clear sign of him needing some mental health help to get past a serious trauma. She lived an entire double life right in front of him. His version of reality is probably very confusing in his own head.
If he’s trying now and you try then focus on that. Not on someone from his past or his mother. Forget her. Just don’t go around her again as you have set your boundaries. It’s about you and him. Focus on the present, not the past. You think he was to busy focusing on the past before and maybe he was but now you’re also focusing on the past rather than the present/future. Leave his mom out of it, nothing she says or does is relevant, she doesn’t matter, you two do.
He didn’t chose to leave the relationship, she did. It sounds like he’s moved on with you, but he’s not over her.
Please don’t let your infant cry. Babies cry for a good reason, even if the reason is loneliness.
It’s awesome your in therapy . Is there a way for you to stay with your family for a bit you need support and love after the baby ? If yes tell your husband what is going to happen it is not acceptable if he can’t get over his ex then you will be one 1 more. Secondly tell him he needs to tell his mother to back off or she will it be allowed around the baby or your home. If talk of your ex comes up Infront of you or in your home she is not allowed in your home period! Will this be okay as your child grows up and hears about this women ? They are both wrong ! You are his future and it’s time to stop how would he like it if the tables were reversed! They did not have kids together she ruined their marriage. Now he’s ruining your guys marriage let him know. All this drama is going to give you post partum your health and babies health comes first.
Now as for your mil tell her the same thing in front of your husband. And then let her know there is far more studies about not letting it cry out. And clearly she didn’t follow that method if her son is still Crying over an EX as well as she is! Tell her advice is not needed and if she can’t keep her opinions to herself or her ex dil talk in your presence or that if your child there’s the exit and don’t come back !
Time to stand up your momma and a woman. Don’t let them walk all over you and disrespect you Infront of your children your so strong and resilient you got this!!!
Speaking from experience its hard to let go of memories even though the relationship is over and prob will never happen again there’s still memories of good times with them and friends experiences and adventures it’s hard to just erase that you know it takes time to be willing to let go of it all I had pics for awhile still after my marriage ended and took me a long time to get rid of them not because I had Hope’s of reconciliation or anything but because I had some amazing times during that marriage and through all the hurt and turmoil and moving on those times are still in your head he and she will both let go of it all at some point but people deal with these things differently and in their own way and time.
As far as the pictures and keepsakes from his first wedding go, those are his memories and while I don’t think I would like it if I found my husband sitting in a room pouring over them, provided that’s not what he’s doing, and he’s just keeping them somewhere, you should probably leave it alone.
It sounds like he’s saying he likes to hoard because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, which is precisely what would happen if he was to tell you he’s not ready to part with them yet. That’s perfectly normal, whatever normal is.
His first wedding doesn’t have anything to do with how he feels about your marriage and/or you as a person, wife, or mother￼. It also doesn’t mean he wants to get back together with her. However, again, they belong to him and that means he gets to decide when/if he gets rid of them.
If you push him on this, you might wind up regretting it.
Regarding his mother and the ex-wife, well, you can’t dictate who your MIL is in contact with. That’s not up to you. You can, however, dictate when she talks about it.
I really think that should come from your husband though. He needs to let his mother know that his current wife is not to be disrespected especially in her own home. ￼
Sit down with him and explain exactly what it is she’s doing that bothers you as well as all the reasons why. Then it’s up to him to tell his mother to knock that crap off especially when you’re around.
￼With regards to raising your child, you and your husband must present as a united front. You can very gently let her know that she’s respected by you both and that you value her opinions but if a particular topic has already been discussed, she needs to drop it.
At the end of the day, she must be made to understand that you and your husband will raise your child how you want to and in the way the both of you see fit.
If he chooses not to back you up, there’s a bigger problem at hand.
It’s his job to stand up for you and your child and set some boundaries.
OK, you can’t force him to give up his wedding glasses or photos, that’s not fair. It’s part of memories. They’re just GLASSES get over it, same with photos they’re memories for him from certain parts of his life let it go. Just because he has them doesn’t mean it’s not over. As for the mother in law she needs to grow up and realize they divorced for a reason and he doesn’t need to explain himself for that.
It sounds like neither of them are over that marriage. Your MIL is probably trying to make you feel uncomfortable because she sounds horrible. I would put my foot down about all of it. Your husband needs to get rid of everything related to that marriage and quit talking about it. He needs to tell his mother to stop disrespecting you. As far as the baby goes, please never use the cry-it-out method. It has been proven to be detrimental to babies’ psychological well-being.
It should have been gone yet you entered into the relationship knowing all of that was going on. It wasn’t done to you. You accepted it.
I bet the first wife couldn’t wait to get out from underneath the mil…and mama’s boy.
When a baby cries at that age from a psychological standpoint they are asking is someone there and am I safe? I think the mother-in-law may be intimidated by you. I would ask that your husband speak to her about the pictures and such that are out especially now that you have a child. If she wants to see her grandchild then she needs to update her photography and her pictures with current family situations. Your child should not go to somebody’s house and see pictures of their dad with another woman like that. You keep doing what you’re doing you got this. Sounds like you’re m i l can’t cut the strings with anyone
This is why it’s important that we heal before we get into new relationships. I understand that he didn’t get closer he’s not going to get closure she’s in the past she has clearly moved on. And it’s time that he accepts that unfortunately this is life and things happen out of our control and there’s nothing we can do about it therapy is a wonderful way for him to express his feelings and emotions to heal and move on but I do believe it’s been long enough.
They are both disrespecting you by not respecting your feelings and emotions about the subject. His ex should not even be a conversation they have no children together it’s not like he’s a widow. She cheated on him and she left him and that chapter is done. You came into his life you offered him a future you offered him a healthy relationship with love you’ve given him a child. And I hate to say this but I would let the both of them know that look they’re our boundaries now we don’t talk about the ex in my home. There is no reason to talk about the ex there’s no reason to look at photos of the x like let It go already. His mother she’s adding fuel to the fire and she is a problem and you may have to sit her down and say look when you come in here and you start talking about this woman you’re not helping your son to heal and let go what you’re doing is you’re pushing me out the door step by step and then your son’s going to be left alone with no one and now he has two ex wives and you’ve contributed to that because you couldn’t back off and mind your own business.
And I would be very very upfront with him and say look I love you and I care about you and I have been more than tolerant of this whole situation and try to be as helpful as I can but now enough is enough. And if he can’t respect that things just need to take a drastic turn in the other direction you may want to consider separating for a while and give him a couple of months to really think about what he wants out of his life does he want to live in the past? Or does he really want to invest in a future with you and your child. Because if one or the other doesn’t happen you are only wasting years of your life with someone that refuses to heal refuses to move on and it’s not worth it. It really isn’t
The only mistake you have maid is unfortunately you move forward with him and got married when you really should have hit pause. And now you may have to hit rewind. And I would let him know that it’s getting to the point where it’s bothering you so much that this may result in a separation for a few months to give him the opportunity to tie up some loose ends and when it’s a better environment for you and the child then you’ll come back and if he can’t heal and he can’t move on and he can’t let go then there’s no place for you in his life anyway because he wants to live in the past and you didn’t exist in the past you are his future so he has to pick one closure is not coming and he needs to just accept that. He’s had time to process his emotions he obviously has feelings for you and loves and cares about you but the respect is just not there from him or his mother and now it’s time that you start demanding it or you just make the moves to put yourself in a better place mentally and emotionally not just for you but for the sake of your child because of your child gets older and this is still occurring it’s just going to be a whole toxic environment and nobody needs to be up in the middle of that.
Lay some boundaries with him and lay some boundaries with her and if they don’t respect them then remove yourself from the situation for a while and let them have it. Because essentially what is happening is he’s bleeding on someone who did not cut him and eventually you’ll drowned in it you will drown in it you will be so full of resentfulness and anger and bitterness towards not just your husband but your mother-in-law that at some point it may be 5-10 years down the road it’s going to fall apart anyway .
And if your mother-in-law can’t respect the boundaries that you’ve laid if your husband cannot lay boundaries with his mother if nobody can respect your feelings and emotions about the subject at hand it’s tough but like I said you may want to do some separation for a while and give him the opportunity to know what it feels like to have lost his future which is a blessing to the past.
I mean had the woman died of a terminal disease or been in a car accident and he became a widow it would be a little bit more understanding but that’s not the case and honestly enough is enough you’ve been more than tolerant. It’s definitely time to just put the foot down.
I mean how would he feels the tables were turned and in every situation you were in you brought up an ex that you dated or pulled out some pictures of you and your ex or started showing him conversations of you and your ex I mean you know come on he’s a grown man he knows what’s right and what’s wrong and so does his mother.
This marriage shouldn’t have taken place in the first place till he was truly done and ready to move on.
I hope you find a way to put them all in their places.
There was this ex in the habit of telling me what he did when he travels or how he had a fling with his friends siblings or their friends or colleagues or some random beauty… This one time, he did drop one of his “hot sexy stories” when my brain did a small MD dance. I told him an imaginary story of a moresome that happened just days before he came back from his trip… Guy never recovered from it. He couldn’t sleep that night. He kept asking me if he wasn’t enough for me? If his pinkie wasn’t big or beautiful enough? He asked so many questions
Weeks later, he was still wondering if his waist work wasn’t enough and why I had to have a moresome? Guy couldn’t take what he dishes all the time so I told him we had to move separately. It’s been more than 17 years and he’s still wondering… I never told him or his intervening friends that the story was a made up one
Oh wow. He needs to burn everything or throw it away!
How fast did you get together after the divorce?
My MIL is the same with pictures of him and god ex gfs on her fb and being disrespectful towards me and him. It bothers us both and she doesn’t care. Her excuse is “I’m grown”. Not much you can do supply other people just being horrible /:
Wow. I think all of that is pretty normal to keep. It’s memories. My mom and dad divorced 18+ years ago and she still has the photos and other things. Youre controlling and sounds jealous and insecure.
Yes them bringing her up a lot is inappropriate but it’s his and his moms past. Are they never allowed to talk about events that didn’t involve you?
This is why I Dnt really go around my in laws. I Dnt care wht happen in my husband past. Tht was then. So I just keep my distance.
My ex husband cheated on me and got my best pregnant… I have photo kept and our wedding clock and other things. (I tossed a lot last summer. Like the topper off our wedding cake extra invites and so on after 6yrs of being divorced.) I didn’t need them I was pregnant with my 4th (my cutrents second daughter) but i do have photos in a bin I spent almost 12yrs with him. 2006 to 2015 and some of 2016 when he couldn’t make up his mind of who he wanted. and my current boyfriend doesn’t care that I still have photos. We have two kids together. I didn’t keep my wedding band I pawned it to buy groceries. Before our divorce was final. (I only had a plain silver wedding band. I never had an engagement ring or anything like that. Nothing fancy) I started to purge my stuff more when my kids told me their dad purposed to her in Christmas of I think 2020 idr. And deleted most off my fb but thats where most of my photos are safe/saved due to loss of memory cards and phones amd such. Bring this up in therapy. I also have been with my current for 5yrs this fall and we have two kids together.
Um I would stay away from her. She is toxic and honestly he wasn’t ready for remarriage it sounds like. Not your fault they are not together. I feel sorry for you. You just take care of your baby and put her at a distance for all the unnecessary disrespect. This makes me upset for you. Just nonsense. Weird as hell honestly.
What is wrong with you? Buck up and get mad.first it’s your child , remind Grandma, and your husband has feelings for his ex wife it’s right in front of you.He is a child whining about the first wife and letting his Mother run over you,Remember Men and mils don’t change no matter how much therapy. Don’t let this go on life is short
Im sorry but I would had burned everything from my ex husband if we didn’t have kids together. Instead, I gave it all to my children, even my wedding dress.
He’s not over the first marriage which is unfair to you, her cheating and leaving him should be all the closure he needs. If he didn’t have closure then why on earth did he pursue you and marry you?? We all have a past but this is disrespectful he would be pissed if the tables were turned. As for his mother she needs to stay in her place and mind her business. He should be covering you, she’s just trying to get under your skin set boundaries don’t let her or anyone else disturb your peace
That is just not okay I would definitely talk to my mother in law about it
I want you repeat after me it’s your life and your baby she doesn’t get a say.set boundaries and don’t let her cross them.
These people are very mean to you. I suggest counseling. I did it and it was wonderful before you go any further. It will not end until you stand up for yourself and your child.
Ditto. They are going to push as far as you will let them.
Honestly just because he didn’t have kids with her doesn’t mean that has not been apart of his life, if it was an girlfriend maybe a different story but a marriage that is a big thing, you can’t just expect him to get rid of things that were part of his life. I still have things from my previous marriage only because we shared part of the life together, just because we don’t love each other or together doesn’t mean he wasn’t apart of my life and memories. People see things differently and do things differently some people burn stuff etc… but that doesn’t get rid of the fact that they had a life before you.
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 17682 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
You married him why?
He has not got over her,and his mom is disrespectful and sure is not helping.
Time will heal but you need to have a talk with your husband about his mother. What is her problem and you end to have a talk with her.
Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
Wow! This is so disrespectful! I would have told that woman off a long time ago! His mama is a nightmare ! She would be banned from my home! And if mammas boy doesn’t like 8t he can go and live with her
I have my last marriage pics in a album tucked away. I don’t bring them out. I see my partner ex she married to another man,
My ex MIL was a MIL from hell. I wouldn’t have wished her on anyone. She’s gone now, but the pain she caused my ex and I will never leave my memory. She is part of the reason we divorced.
In my second marriage, my husband was still in love with his ex when we first got together. They talked on the phone every Wed. for a couple months, because they had kids together, he would tell me how his ex did stuff when I would try to cook or clean or just about anything…One day I snapped and went off on him. He stopped all that crap and we were just fine after that.
You have to let him know how you feel and if things don’t change, move on. As for the MIL…put her in her place and keep your distance if she can’t respect you as her DIL.
Honestly you probably should have ended things before you were married and he was still obsessed with his ex wife. Those are huge red flags. And it sounds like he might still be in love with her, she is the one that cheated and left him and he may still have feelings for her. Maybe it would be best to leave and find someone who truly wants you and only you.
So you married him knowing him and his mother were both still hooked on her? Either say something to the mother inlaw or just put up with it.
He is with you now and has a family. Maybe he wasn’t completely over his ex when you met.
Clearly you observed his needing to talk about her and were aware of the things he was holding on to still. Some people take more time when they’ve been hurt. You most likely have helped him through that process. I wouldn’t really do anything differently now. You insisted that he get rid of things from first marriage, you’re distancing yourself from his mother keeping her at arms length and establishing boundaries. Those are very healthy actions.
I would also ask kindly and nicely for her not to bring up his ex wife with you both anymore, you can say we aren’t certain when or if we will tell our child that he was married before, so we aren’t discussing her or that marriage, and we respectfully ask you not to with us.
No he isn’t completely “over” his first and honestly, never will be. As far as the mil is concerned 🤷 sweetie I can’t help. I’m in the same boat. I refused to be tolerated and got tired of being disrespected so I quit going with my husband up to her house. I’ve always done for her and her family and it was never appreciated it was always said I never did anything for them. Because I set boundaries she got pissed took it out on him and now he packed and gone. And I’m always in the wrong for my feelings. I wish I could help you, but I can’t. Give him thanks for getting rid of the things he had from his first wedding. Mine has never been married (until me) and it wasn’t even approved by his mom or her family.
Tell your husband you aren’t content being second best. It had better stop. Tell your mother in law that you will parent your way. She did her thing, you’ll do yours. If that’s not good enough, tough crunch cookie. You won’t be mean to your child.
Since you two are in counselling, it sounds to me these are all concerns you should be raising to your counselor. He needs to be addressing his mother and having your back in all things. Bring this stuff up to him and the cou senor and work through it.
He’s not “trying his hardest” if he’s still got all that stuff of theirs from his previous marriage and refuses to throw it away because “he’s a hoarder.” Throw that shit out yourself. I wouldn’t be disrespected like this in my own home.
Wouldn’t of even married him in the first place
Please stay firm about your baby! Never let a one month old baby cry it out! You take care of your baby the way YOU want to, not her! It’s your baby! It’s too bad if she doesn’t like it!
All those and you preceded to marry him – aren’t you a glutton for punishment.
Seems she may have seen him for the momma’s boy, her the crazy mil and got out. Unfortunately, you’ve already allowed them to treat you as they do, that’s not going to change any time soon. Sounds like you need to set REAL boundaries and not relent. If no significant changes you need to move on or always play the role you’ve already took on in the beginning.
It’s hard to walk away from your first love he’s probably grieving her loss. You wouldn’t think someone who was cheated on would but you never know
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 15286 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
It was probably very devastating to him to be dumped on like that therefore he had a hard time letting go of the good times before the big dump. Glad to hear he agreed to go to counseling and finally getting rid of all the stuff is a major step. That kind of a jolt is almost like a death in the family and can be very hard to swallow for a long time. You can’t put a timeframe on grief and it sounds like you have helped him get past it. As far as the biddy body Mom….just blow her off and keep your distance. Let your hubby know why you’re keeping your distance and that you don’t want to blow up on her so staying away is best. If need be, tell her to butt out and mind her own business especially when it comes to your child. If she pushes you to tell her why you’re staying away, which she will eventually notice, be honest and tell her you don’t appreciate her comparisons and disrespect. In the meantime, remember you only get out what you put into therapy. If he is “trying his hardest” you do the same so you can get the most benefits available to both of you. Open your mind and your heart and try as hard as he is to make it work. Together you can do it….or not
yes losing someone too death or any other reason is hard it take time. When begin a widow all I could is talk about my husband there man that like me. But I guess was to much I thing that felt that would never stop loving my husband. But I was starting to have feeling for him but was afaired that I was derepecting my husband an I guess he felt I didn’t love him so he stop calling an inviting my out. Now time has pass an I’m a different person the pain is healing I’m happy an a different person but know done wrong an love a good love
The mother need to see her son happiness an talk to him an tell you need stop bring up your X. If you most talk about her talk to when we have mom an son time. Because me being women I know we are hurting your wife an that not fair to her i would want my mother in law hurting me
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 16091 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
If you are a Christian, pray about it. God answers all. Only spiritual intervention can remove such ties. They made blood covenant when they slept together and that covenant can only be broken by serious prayer.
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 17069 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Sounds to me like none of them are over his first marriage. You didn’t see signs of this open wound prior to getting married? I mean, too late now, but I wouldn’t have gotten married until his past was all gone (momentos) & the wound was healed. But looks like ur going to have to be there as u been to help him heal… his mother is just taking longer Healing is a process, who knows how long it’s going to take. Sounds like he’s getting there though, so either stick it out for a bit longer, or jump ship. As for ur MIL, politely ask her to not speak of his past Relationships, or just have ur mother over to talk about one of ur exes
The mom is probably part of why the first one left lol. Tell your husband he needs to set some boundaries with her or you will. Don’t be rude, but let her know your boundaries. He probably wasn’t over everything before getting involved with you, especially considering how it happened (which it sounds like you knew), but that ship has sailed, he obviously cares about you and is trying to make it work so give him a little time to show you and have an open mind.
I’ve never been in that situation so of course I find it easy to give advice but I’m sure it has been hard for you! To me it seems like he wasn’t/ isn’t over her and If I would have realized that before getting married I would have called it off…. but I think you should let him know that he’s on the verge of losing another wife (now family) if he can’t work through his problems. As for the MIL I would stand up to the bully it seems like there is no relationship between you and her anyways so what do you have to lose?? I’d let her know that she’s giving respect to someone that really hurt her son and here you are building a family with him, supporting (actually being a good wife) and she disrespects you! WTF if that was my son I would trash the ex and help my son burn all her sh!t I know its hard to help and put others needs before yours when you yourself are hurting but I think your hubby needs to help working through this devastation I’m sure his ego is really hurt! You’re strong and however you deal with this do it for you and your baby! -Good luck
It’s sounds like he IS trying. Now. But it sounds to me like if he REALLY stood up for YOU. DEMANDED his mother respect you or she can not come around. It’s his family. The boundaries need to be set by him, for you. If he came in stood up like a man, would… it turn you on? If so, there is hope. If not… cut your losses babe, you are already done.
You are the 2nd wife, BUT, you’re to be treated FIRST! Your MIL, needs to be set in her place when it comes to Yours and Husband’s child.
My ex and I have been divorced for 20 years. His mom and I, and family are still very close. I warned my 2nd husband of our relationship, and he has accepted it because I am respectful to him. Him and his Ex wife are friends, he cuts her grass or will help her if she needs help. There can be an adult solution to the whole ordeal. Your MIL, is being hateful, rude ,disrespectful to you and her son. Time to set boundaries. I still have pictures and things from my 1 st wedding, and so does my husband from his. Those are memories and they were good memories. I see no harm if they are packed away.
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18943 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
If he can’t put the previous marriage stuff in a box, tell him it makes you uncomfortable and would he like you to put it away? Then, cut off the old bat mother in law & don’t go, and the baby doesn’t go. A 1 month old is to be loved & made secure. Do what YOU feel is best with your baby!
Is it wrong to ask him to let go something he thought precious. I believe so as long as it’s a memory and not a current thing. His mother sounds like she liked his ex more than you you should suggest she see her more than you. Yeah it’s ok to tell her to pull her claws in and not bitch so much, it’ll save you a lot in therapy costs.
As for the nasty mil…she cant let go of his first wife and she talks to her all the time…but you could simply have a good conversation with her stating that you dont like how she makes you feel talking about the first wife and bringing out the pictures…could also say it sounds like she idolizes his ex but she hurt her son and then divorced him so why…
If she gets snappy at you then this is when you set boundries and say…i will never take your son away from you but if you cant respect me and keep treating me like garbage you wont be allowed over to our house and our child wont be coming over either until you change …the choice is yours to make…and no one tells me how to raise our daughter…good luck sweetie
After one time is another! She obviously does not respect you as a person OR as her son’s wife. Ignore her and everything she says and thinks. You do what YOU feel is best for your baby AND your marriage. Tell your husband you need his support as well as his love and that he needs to get over his first marriage !
She…CHEATED…on him!!! He and his mother should be furious and burning her stuff and everything associated with her! He didn’t fail her. She failed him. The sooner he realizes that the better. I understand talking about it because those are memories and the past, but she’s not a part of your lives. Your mil needs to step off. Especially with parenting. It’s been a very long time since she has cared for a newborn and everything is different.
Why did you even marry him if he kept talking and reminiscing about his X wife sooo much…?
Kick your MIL to the curb and if he doesn’t get his act together he goes next, life’s too short and they have both been disrespectful! Shame on you for allowing someone to treat you like that!
Tell MIL she is welcome to visit, when she stops telling you what to do and harping on about the ex wife. Tell your husband to shape up, or ship out. Put your foot down, firmly.
Why did you marry him…??? did he keep his wife’s secrets.of infidelity’s and remarriage…???
George will tr
The van he will ph them
And you married this guy? Seriously?
Next time she brings up his ex , remind her she is an ex for a reason like she cheated on her son . And tell her your son your rules and you will be parenting him your own way .
You should have not married him with him having these issues if you weren’t ok with living with it….
You need to support him because a relationship is not something you just get over with a snap of a finger he needs sometime to heal and as far as the mil goes tell her its your baby and you’ll do what you please with your baby and if she can’t except that then tell her your no longer coming over and that she’s not welcome at your place either also ask her calmly and nicely to please not show you pictures of her sons ex and to not talk about her to you then if she can’t respect that your only option is to just leave
My counselor told me if you fill disrespected. Just get up and leave. And your husband should stand up for you. Tell your mil to keep her 2cents to herself.
WOW! I would not have married him, just for those reasons. He’s a momma’s boy and he wants to keep his mementos of his ex? I hope he’s got some good stuff going for him, your plate has been served and the menu doesn’t look like it’s ever going to change. Good luck.
You need to start thinking about you and your child.
Why would he or his mother, choose to hang onto memories of the woman who betrayed him and broke his heart?
Here’s the deal. His ex wife hurt him. Ended the marriage. Not him. It’s okay for him to still hold on to things because there is still unanswered questions. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or wasn’t ready to move on. It’s a form of PTSD.
One month?? Yeah just focus on you and that baby. Distance yourself from consistent disrespect. WHO and whatever that means to you!