This is going on because your husband allows it
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He’s probably trying to be that way thinking that if you don’t come he can get his Mama and Daddy back together again and he knows if you come that won’t happen. I hear about this happening all the time. They make life hell for the new Mom or Dad. Just be happy with your husband and hopefully all will get better after he sees that you aren’t going anywhere. Tell your husband that you want a relationship with the son but you’re just going to give it time. Best of luck to you sweetie
Your husband does not go to Sweden without you period. Get court orders in place to protect you and your husbands rights. Baby Momma has NO say if you go period.
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Sounds like something is going on why doesn’t he stand up for you ?
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Kid is probably jealous cuz he hasn’t seen his dad in a really long time, playing dad to another kid and then had another kid that he lives with… that kid is definitely hurt and you need to see from his side, you always have his dad, you can’t only think about your feelings or how you feel about it…
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You have the right to go to Sweden anytime you want, you don’t have he right to impose yourself on a relationship your husband barely has with his son. Maybe the mother isn’t saying terrible things about you at all maybe the child feels (right or wrong) as if you are the reason he doesn’t have his dad in his life in a way that makes him happy. Video game time is not parenting.
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You have the right to go to Sweden anytime you want, you don’t have he right to impose yourself on a relationship your husband barely has with his son. Maybe the mother isn’t saying terrible things about you at all maybe the child feels (right or wrong) as if you are the reason he doesn’t have his dad in his life in a way that makes him happy. Video game time is not parenting.
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When I hear this I Immediately think he doesn’t know you enough. Your a stranger to him and you don’t belong anywhere in his relationship with his dad. Until he knows you better it will be that way. Until he gets to see your only there cuz you love his dad. Trust has to be built but that is hard when your miles apart. Also his mom has to be ringing in his ear which is awful. You and your husband need to set boundaries. Go to Sweden and show that kid you love him no matter what.
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Sounds like she’s putting crap in his head. She wants the time he’s there to be all with them. She needs to get the hell over herself and he needs to stand up for you. Weather or not you’re around right away is different, those things take time but it shouldn’t be an exclusion factor for no reason. That’s BS.
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I’d go to Sweden. You don’t have to spend time with the son. He probably sees you as the reason his parents are not together. Which even though I’m not a professional, is probably common
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I would go to Sweden. I would not try to be part of sons life, but would want my husband to tell him that I am his wife and mother to his siblings and I am a good person that he loves. If he can’t do that, what do you have.
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Is he insisting you stay as well? If so, that’s suspicious
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You insist to go to Sweden! That is total bullcrap that your husband doesn’t stand up for you. And if someone ever told my 10 year old I was a bitch, the father would have problems too! There is something here that doesn’t make sense. Is there more to this story? The ex wife has no right to tell your husband what you can and can’t do! He needs to grow a set !
I had to deal with this for years as he gets older he will start to understand things better .hopefully !
eh. If he goes to sweden, so can you!
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Your husband needs to put his foot down. The kid doesn’t have to like you but should show you respect regardless. Sweden would be a trip for the entire family and his son can spend some of that time with the family and have some alone time with his dad as well. It’s hard for the child to get to know you and try to like you if he’s never around you. His dislike of you probably stems from something his mom is saying. And if she is so set on keeping you separated then I wouldn’t trust her one bit.
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It is your husband’s responsibility to defend you. 1. Spouse 2. Children
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He is being taught to say he hates you . Sounds to me like his mom is the culprit using their child against you because she didnt want your husband ans she dont want himhaving anyone else having him either beendone that. Your husband needs tosee that sounds like his sonis a spoilt brat being used by his mommy to start trouble . If daddygoes to Zweden so should you .Make plans to enjo yourself with the other kids while daddy bonds with his son .Problem solved
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It’s very likely your stepson’s mother is filling his head with all kinds of awful about you…and/or has for years. The problem is, that your husband has to draw lines in the sand for his ex and their son. If he doesn’t place boundaries or demand respect on your part…nothing you do will change that.
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A little different opinion here. Of he only gets one day to really spend time with his father and uis online then respect that and give them that time alone. One day a week is no where enough time for a child especially that age and he really needs his father and son time to bond and you joining in is taking that private time away. Now him disrespecting you is not right and his parents especially your spouse should be correcting that. I think that maybe you could request a time separate from his time with dad and reassure him you aren’t trying to replace him intrude on their time or anything abd explain you would like to be friends it might help but not over night. You are step parent and you need to prove yourself and work. Now with Sweden I would go but I would not join their time right away. Let them have a few days alone and then join them one day after dad has bonded a bit and explained that you all are family and he gives the child time to get comfortable with you spending time together as well. I feel kids come first as they weren’t asked to be born but you were asked to be a step parent. Patience and his father helping is needed. Kids that she are difficult.
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I know it is hurt ur feeling but
1St your hubby should be standing up for you
2nd The mother of the child sounds like she feel the kids head to hate u …Your hubby should be helping with this
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So first off a child does not just hate someone at 10 years old! The baby mama is obviously upset at your relationship! I have stepchildren two of them and never have they said they hated me! One was a little resentful in the beginning and I could not figure out why so I had my husband speak with him! Sure enough his mother was in his ear! So the three off us without the baby mama sat down and talked and I clarified everything along with his dad and we now have a great relationship! He was so mad at his mother for doing that! At first tho I was going to just let it be and give it time but it’s not my place to get in the middle of my husband and his kids mothers parenting! My husband was like ohhhhh no we are nipping this right in the bud right now! It’s not you it’s her! She is feeding stuff in her sons head about you! It’s too bad! You can go to Sweden just don’t be around them! Go enjoy Sweden with your children! Don’t let that stop you because she is toxic! Enjoy a vacation with your family! He may just come around!
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You said husbands son . Instead of step son. That shows emotional detachment. I think this is more of a you issue then the child
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His relationship with his son is not yours to interfere with. Work with your individual therapist to resolve your control and codependency issues. Maybe the kid will like you more if you address and resolve those things. Learn your place and be more respectful. You don’t get to shove your way into other people’s lives and make demands of their time and energy just because you married some guy. What kind of adult nutures a resentment against a small child for crying out loud. Your therapist can not possibly support this.
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I’d leave none of them have any respect for u Cleary.so when Sweden happens I’d let him come home to an empty house block his number and everything.
Chances are the kid didnt have a panic attack ad just said that so u wouldn’t be around ( my opinion) so daddy and mommy can be a thing again.
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The kid lives in a different country, rarely gets to see his dad and you’re trying to butt in and wonder why the kid doesn’t like you?! You’re being immature and self centered.
Let this kid and his dad have what little time together, alone. Trying to play a game with them, uninvited, is rude. Trying to invite yourself along on a trip, where the two can actually spend time together, is rude. You’re expecting a child to love you, without trying to put forth any effort in giving him a reason to even like you. What have you even done to show a vested interest in anything this kid is interested in? Have you learned his native language? Have you said HI and kept going while and he and his dad are talking? Or are you trying to immerse yourself in their conversation and lives? Have you shown one once of respect to this kids mother, whom he lives with? Or do you address in the trashiest way possible as “baby mama”, because you’ve already done so here 
.
It seems that while this child is a child, you’re the one acting childish and has a lot of growing up to do
If you’ve been together for 8 years and he is 10 it’s likely that you’ve done something he doesn’t like you for and your just not saying the whole truth or the mom is saying things to make him hate you. This could be either way. A child doesn’t hate for no reason. Also the child should get to his dad with out you but unless dad is staying with son in moms home you should get to go. I always had told my kids dads that girl friend / wife can’t come but my kids have fathers that would likely spend that time with the gf/ wife instead of our child meaning the attention is not on our child.
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Get your ducks in a row .consult a lawyer and save for a place of your own while hes gone to Sweden to go play house with his ex.
Love u more than u love him . U should never allow your self to be disrespected like this on any level tbh . That kid needs some therapy
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Sounds like the kid is being coached by his mother to hate. Sad. However your hubby has a responsibility to stand up for you to his ex as well.
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My son is 5 and absolutely hates his dads gf. He’s not disrespectful as I would never tolerate that but the reasons why are because his dad uses the gf as an excuse to not show up for visits or call him as often. He says he’s busy with the baby or helping her family. I have never and would never say anything to my son negative about her ever or his dad this is his own opinion he has formed at the young age of five. I think a part of him knows it’s his dads fault for not seeing him and definitely not the gf but instead of being mad at his dad the person he loves so deeply it’s easier for him to take it out on her because he has no attachment to her or to blame her for his fathers choices. Not saying that’s happening for you just something to look into.
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It sounds like baby mama bad mouths you and that has rubbed off on her son… Your husband should definitely be playing referee here, not just excluding you completely
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Sorry if my husband is going to Sweden then so am I and time for a lawyer sounds like mama is up to something
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The Child is probably feeling resentment aswell. He pictured his mom and dad together and having to watch his father start a new family if probably hard. Another factor may be the mom talking badly and pushing hate into him. He is a young boy and the best advice I have for you I’d to show pure love, be kind and patient and gentle. He will learn to love you that way. It may take a while but he will grow up respecting you because of all the love you gave no matter the way he acted. Don’t put up with disrespect but make sure to not give up trying to have a relationship with him. Also talk to your husband tell him how you feel about this ask for his support and if you feel alone and like your not being heard then I would do a little more thinking on what’s most important to you.
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It’s mom who’s putting shit in the kids head. Been there. But yah maybe give them their time on computer.
The son probably thinks you are the reason his dad barely sees him. You see your husband every single day. I wouldn’t want you to come either because this is time for them. Not you. Don’t be so needy that you need to be by your husbands side 24/7. Let him have this time with his son.
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Whether it’s true or not, maybe he feels like you broke up his family and took his dad away. He probably misses his dad a lot, and is upset he doesn’t have him in his everyday life.
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He doesn’t really see his father as you said. If that’s the only real time together playing games on Sundays, you shouldn’t interfere. He might see you as the reason he can’t see his dad. And if your husband is going to see him in Sweden, let them have their time together. The kid is probably feeling some resentment whether it’s for a good reason or not. He’s a child and probably has a lot of emotions he can’t articulate. While your husband visits his son make he he has a conversation with him to get to the bottom of his “hate” and what can make it better. He’s probably just missing his dad.
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In these situations it’s hard to comment bcos there’s your side the child’s side and then the truth. Thank goodness my daughter had a great step mum growing up.
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It sounds like the son struggles not seeing his dad, so he lashes out. Go to Sweden, but let he and his dad have a lot of alone time. His ex and his son can’t dictate what you do. Talk it over with your husband and try to come to some agreement. Try talking to the son with a therapist present, while in Sweden.
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So hubby is leaving without y’all because bm and kid doesn’t like you for no reason and dad allows them both to treat you this way?! Yeah you might need time for yourself because something is off (IN MY OPINION!! ) or keep letting your husband allow others to treat you any kind of way 
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He should spend time alone with his son playing games if thats the only time he gets. The mother is bad mouthing you I’m sure that’s the reason for the behavior. As far as husband goes if you allow anyone to treat and disrespect you in such a way then you are enabling the behaviors to continue. WHY would you continue to stay with a man who does this to you anyways? You have one life to live for you so stop pretending you have a marriage and love and go out and find a life and love yourself more. You have kids that need a mentally healthy mother that does not need to be raised up in an unhealthy marriage around a man that is a sorry piece of crap and thats what he is if he’s verbally abusing you. Don’t use excuses as a reason to stay either. Take him for what you and your kids are worth since he obviously does not care about it now and stop wasting your time.
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He is 10yrs old so that foul mouth and trash talking was obviously taught to him from his mother. There is no way my husband would be traveling to Sweden without me or my children. Don’t ever let another woman dictate your your husbands dos and don’ts. You and your children are part of his life as well and that child and mother need to accept that. It is what it is. Shame on your husband for allowing this to happen
He only hates you because of his mother. Don’t stay home. Go to Sweden. 10 years old is a little young to be telling adults what to do. He obviously has not been taught respect. Once there if he refuses to see you, go shopping & enjoy yourself while your husband visits
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Hopefully things will get better!! Praying for you all! I’m in a situation that’s kind of the same. But she hates us both… due to her phyco mother. Just give it time and let go. You’ve done the best you can, right!? & I wouldn’t allow him to talk to my children w/o supervisors present, being he bad mouths you to your own children!!! That’s not excusable! & your husband should be backing you! Period!!!
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The boy is probably jealous. Its quite natural to be. He lives with you and his children. I would let them have their relationship.
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He’s 10 the resmenment doesn’t have to come from the baby mama… He could feel some type a way maybe based on the fact his father is with someone way across the world with other children that get to see him everyday and he hardly sees him. At 10 years old his is old enough to understand his feeling and as a mom I would want my child and their dad to spend alone time if he has expressed any type of hurt with the time lost with their dad. I say let him go be supportive and maybe try working a little more or save so you can give them surprise visits or maybe ask your husband how he feels about summers with yall where ever y’all live. The more effort you put in to show him you don’t want to interrupt there bound he will start coming around!
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This will make people mad, but one thing I noticed reading your post that would probably rub me the wrong way is that you seem to count this child as not your children but the children under your house is your children with your husband why is he separated when counting your children? You said your husband has this child, and you have two under your roof…but 0nes from a previous marriage, just like this one…maybe include this kid when counting your children? If you’ve been together for 8 years and the child is 10 and makes me wonder how many times does he get to see his father? How many times has he been to visit How many times have you met him How many times has he met his siblings? Kids can have resentment of their own and it’s not necessarily coached by their mother
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Everyone is saying the mother is bad mouthing you to the father but that is not always the case kids are able to form their own opinions.first off he’s 10 and he barely gets to see his father which I’m sure is hard on him and knowing that he has kids he gets to see every day can be hard and frustrating for the child when he only gets to see his dad on video games for a Little while. Then you try to force yourself into their bonding time I’m sure that complicates things even more. Kids can be upset at their parents but love them so much that they don’t want to take it out on them so they take it out on their parents new partner bc it’s easier to say that their the reason my dad isn’t around all the time or they took the life that they were suppose to have. Do not go to Sweden let your husband have that time with his son but ask him to have a real conversation with his son to get to the bottom of his dislike for you. I feel as though you can do more harm than good going to Sweden knowing the son wants all his time with his dad
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Don’t let baby mama and kid control your life. Your husband you and kids that want to be a part of a family unit is important. Your husband may have to let go of his son
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I think your husband should push to include you. They only way it will get better is that he learns who you really are and spends time with his dad accepting you. I get that he may want that 1 on 1 with his dad, but there need to be times where he sees you are a package deal.
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You start by saying HE has a son( being from a previous)then say WE have 2 together( 1being from your previous) and 1 with each other…
THAT right there would be the issue imo! You dont get to pick which kids are accepted as your own or his own 
Poor kid probably feels like he has no place in “your” family
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Let it go, in time the son will come around. To him, you stold his dad!!!
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I just have to say theres nothing wrong with the whole family goin on vacation and then he goes with his kid while you and the other children go enjoy some sightseeing. I had 2 stepsons and it wasnt until the second oldest turned 18/19 before he really started talkin to me so you just have to let it develop at its own pace be patient he is a child and im sure his mother is in his ear talkin bad about you
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I would say his mumma had bad mouthed you so much. That hes not had a chance to know you. Or his sibblings. The distance is hard on both sides. He might blame you for his parents not together. Even if its not your fault.
While dad is there id be asking him to help make it right so next step is you can at least say hello. Get dad take photos of what they do and maybe you can make him a scrapbook of his dad time. As a nice thing to do for him
Dad will be scared to stand up to the ex wife. Coz shes the one in total control of what dad can do by sounds of things.
While he is there he must find out why son feels that way towards you. The lad is struggling.
Dad time once a week is fab. But i cant see why you cant say hello ask how things are etc and it should be able happen esp since he has siblings. Half step etc dont matter.
They need be able have a bond too. So out of the time he spends with dad on sunday should be able include a bit time for you all. Just a hi hello to start with.
Dont allow anyone come between you and hubby thou to be able cause problems.
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It also may be due to the fact that you said you had 2 children together, but one is yours and the other is both of yours, leaving him out and separated by then saying “so 3 all together”. I know he’s not going to read this, but that was an interesting way of putting the fact that YOU have a child, HE has a child, then you both have one, but only counted YOUR 2 children as being a family. I come from a separated home, you might not think it’s a big deal, but you may also be putting stuff out there, unintentionally, that he’s picking up on. I’m playing the devils advocate also by saying the mom might also see or hear it and want to protect her son. He’s 10, not stupid.
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I can understand you being upset. I would be too. But try seeing it from the sins perspective. Does he think you’re the reason dad doesn’t live closer or why mom & dad aren’t together? The only contact they have are video games then you’re jumping in interfering with dad/son time. Dad’s going to visit for a probably short limited time. I can see them not wanting you there. More quality time for the 2 of them.
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Deborah Churchill VanWestrienen this kid has no choice but to be seperated he lives in sweden its not easy too get there all the time but really let his son go damn you cold
Sounds like the kids mother has been saying some things to the child which is disgusting!
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Are Son and baby mother working in border control, airport security?
You can go if you want to.
I’d show my kids a good time, but insist on you and your kids having no contact with them at all!
Geez! You don’t want that negative, heavy stuff inflicted on your kids.
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Sounds like Dad needs to put his foot down and quit allowing either of them to disrespect you. Your husband is the one that’s supposed to be by your side. So until he can get it together and make them understand that you’re not going anywhere and the disrespect is going to stop then there’s not much that can be done with his child and BM.
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Seems like baby mama is filling the kids head with her opinions. Hopefully your husband can have some one on one talk with him. Kids should never be dragged into things. I hope this man also is American. I know it’s way out there but I watch to many videos on fb of those type of situations lol
My husband would not be going to Sweden without me period. Not because I would say he couldn’t but because we have each other’s backs. But then again he wouldn’t allow a child to call me a birch and disrespect me either. Good luck with all of this, because it sounds toxic
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The reason why is in the first four sentences. Why are adults shocked when kids are hurt by their absence. Or by their parent going off and creating a new family that get the full time attention that they themselves DESERVE!!
Since you are the “other woman” to that boys life…that may be the source of the animosity.
More background context could help. How is it that your husband has come to have a child in Sweden, which I assume is where you do not live? Did the woman and son move back to be with family after the abandonment? Or was the child conceived in born over there and then your husband moved away? Trauma exists for kids as much as adults like to say “they are so resilient”. Kids have no choice…now power is such situations…that isn’t resilience…it’s helplessness.
As for your description of his mother as “baby mama”……She is his mother. Clearly she can see how this second family dynamic affects him and supports him in not wanting you there. Good for her.
Now about the disrespect…that needs to stop. You husband AND his mother need to talk to him. Calling you a bitch is not tolerated. You are an adult and respect is non negotiable.
Other than that, let him go visit his son and leave it be. What good is served by your presence in their only time together? None. Your husband owes him his undivided attentions on that visit.
Hes 10 years old he’s a child… I agree if he has panic attacks when you try to join games then no don’t go when his father goes to visit this is about the child seeing his father.
Tho swearing n stuff ain’t cool cause like he’s ten so dad should deal with that
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I understand what your going through my husbands oldest daughter hates me for no reason too. My husband and I have been together 14 years and my step daughter told me she hopes I die. I have always been nice to her always buying her stuff. I honestly after that gave up. my husband has also given up she is almost 22 years old and no matter how hard we try her mom had poisoned her against us
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I would have your husband ask him why his mom is most likely bad mouthing you and telling him you are the reason they don’t see each other more
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Sounds like his mom is manipulating him…and he resents you because his parents aren’t together
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Hubby should not put up with disrespectful behavior towards you. That’s NOT okay
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Maybe the son feels like you are the reason his dad is not with his mum …kids interpret things in many ways and they are not always right … hopefully you hubby can talk to him face to face about his attitude towards you … Tell him it is not kind and it is rude.
Does his older child believe that if it weren’t for you, he would have his dad closer? At 10 it’s really likely that even if his dad lived away from him before knowing you, he feels guilty about being upset with his dad for moving, so he feels better blaming you for it. Do you know that mom isn’t interested in reconnecting, and telling the kid it’s your fault they can’t have their family back?
As far as him being awful to you, as long as his dad continues to allow him to send you away, cuss at you, and ban you from being in the same city as him, and as long as they are both catering to his demands, you will NOT fix it. This is just what your relationship with your partners child is going to look like, until they grow up some and get help processing the REAL issues.
This seems pretty hopeless to me. If you speak up or set boundaries regarding him being mean to you, his parents are going to say you are expecting too much and being mean to him. If you completely stop trying and just accept what he demands, they’ll say it’s your fault for not trying. Mom and dad need to decide that at 10 yrs old he doesn’t get to curse out adults, and be rude. He doesn’t have to like you, but he will NOT be rude to you. Until THEY see a problem with his behavior and correct it, you don’t stand a chance. And both parents seem to be defensive of his behavior and see no problem, so you need to decide which bad guy are you most comfortable being? The one who seems aloof uninterested and uncaring, or the one who stole away dad, and keeps his parents from getting back together, or you can set strong firm clear boundaries, and they can either get it together or consequences. But even though it’s not right, there’s no way you are supported and not used as a whipping post for this kid.
Good luck. I hope I am wrong.
God only know what his mother is telling him about you. I wouldn’t be upset with the kid, he’s 10. I’m sure his mother makes you out to be a villain
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I seen a similiar opinion on here to mine but i know with all the different advice some comments arw easily missed so I would like to share still.
This kid is 10, living in Sweden with just his mom, dads far away with another female making a family. In the mind of a ten year old he could see it as you are the reason his dad isn’t closer to him and stays away. He isn’t imcluded in all your family stuff cause he is seperated from all of you and that makes him feel unwanted. To him words are just words. Some kids need actions as well. I know that can be hard if you’re all super far away from each other. You gotta remember he’s a 10 year old boy growing up with his dad mainly raising him over a computer screen. He isn’t there to physically hug him or do things with him that are important to him. Thats extremely hard on a kid. I know this situation is hard on you too but maybe if you try and see it from the eyes of a 10 year old it may be easier to understand. Just let him have space. Let him know you and his siblings are there when he is ready. He will hopefully come around over time. I hope things work out!
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A couple things that I picked up on are the fact that you say you and your husband have 2 children together ( even though one is from a previous marriage) and then say his 10 yr old child like he’s not included the same way your child from a previous marriage is. That’s wrong to do and language like that will be picked up on by his 10 yr old and he will feel like he’s not apart of the family the same way the other children are. He’s probably deeply hurt , feeling left out, jealous and holding resentment towards you. He rarely sees his father as it is , yet he has this whole new family now that he sees every single day. He only gets to play some online games with him know Sundays, I’d let them have that alone time together.
Another thing is lack of respect on your part. He’s 10 yrs old, he’s not a baby so referring to his mother as “baby mama” just comes across as a little disrespectful and trashy to me. Try showing some respect and you may get some back in return…it could be going both ways and you don’t even realize it.
The swearing is completely disrespectful and out of line and needs to be handled by the father as well but if he’s having panic attacks when he sees you, there is more going on that is effecting this child. It’s hard to know the true answer because we are getting such a small snippet of what is or has been going on and his son and his mother would most likely have a different side of this story. Your husband should make a point to have a conversation about this when he goes to Sweden and see where exactly these feelings are coming from and if he can get to the bottom of it.
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Sounds like the mom is making him hate you. Bitter bms are the worst
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It’s not for no reason. Kids hate when someone else is getting the attention they feel they should receive. The kid only gets online play time with dad. You interfering with their play time surely would upset the child. Think of it from the child’s point of view. That will give u the answer always.
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Eventually, they grow up. I hope you can survive until then.
Leave it in gods hands he’ll come around just believe
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The child probably has mental illness and doesn’t spend enough time with dad. Personally if I was able to go to Sweden I’d go and have a great time seeing the country. I have family there so I’d want to go. As long as I didn’t try to interfere with his visit with his son I don’t see the harm.
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Most kids whose homes are broken idealize that if the other adult was not in the picture, their parents would reunite. It’s also possible that over the years his mother has told him that you are the reason they are no longer together (and no, I’m not saying you broke up their home). What I find interesting here is that he would even talk to your oldest daughter, since presumably she is from your previous relationship?
Your feelings that his son and his mother are trying to erase you is valid. His son’s feelings that you have taken his father away from his family are also valid. I spent years hating my stepmother because she took my dad away from me and my mom. It wasn’t until years later that I grew up and realized that it takes two people to wreck a relationship, and fault was as much with my father as my stepmother.
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I commend you for trying to figure out to why. And please continue to work at it. As far as Sweden, the child deserves to spend time with his dad alone. Your children get to see him daily and have alone time when ever they want. Have your husband talk with his child while in Sweden about mending the relationship. Then move forward that next time he goes to Sweden u go or the child comes to visit here with you guys. May I suggest u make or buy a thoughtful gift for his kid and the husband bring to Sweden. Maybe like a picture of them together in a frame.
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It hurt you feelings? You have his Dad 24/7/365 and he gets to play video games with go him for an hour on Sunday? Let them be. Marrying someone with kids is complicated.
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No it’s not ok. You think it’s about the mom, but it’s actually more than likely just because he sees you as the reason he doesn’t really have a dad. You’re already expecting the worst out of the situation too which I’m sure isn’t helping. Just leave the kid alone and stop acting entitled. He doesn’t have to like you, ever.
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Well for one she can’t tell you that you can’t be there number two maybe you should ask him yourself what you can do to make your relationship better. Offer to take him somewhere cool or do something that would help bond. He’s 10, still not able to quite process all his feelings. You also don’t know what he’s being told by his mother. but a video games is his and his father‘s bonding then they should be left to be on the little time they have…

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Children don’t know how to hate. That child is behaving the way his mother is teaching him to behave.
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Well, the way you worded this, it sounds like you included the children YOU birthed as the “two children together” when it sounds like each of you had a child PRIOR TO getting together/married.
If I’m reading that correctly, then you and husband only have the ONE child together! I’m addition to your child together, the both of you have one BONUS child each for a total of three kids (based on what I read).
That child doesn’t get to see their dad and deserves to ‘spend time’ with him uninterrupted (if that’s his preference). Your husband should try to facilitate the confection between the two of you and continue to work on building a bond. Setting boundaries about respect should also be discussed between you and husbands and then husband and son. There’s no good reason for a child to curse. He can express his feelings in a different way. Some family therapy could help.
You should probably accompany him on this trip (or the next one) as the BM doesn’t own the country. This could be a chance for all of you to bond. Maybe try some patience with the situation and some marital counseling.
It’s okay to feel some sort of way, but you need to have some talks with your husband.
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I don’t know, you lost me at calling the 10 year olds mother a “baby mama”. Maybe the 10 year old is onto something.
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I wouldn’t deal with him…don’t have to and he’s not your kid… and he wouldn’t have a relationship with my children either because it’s obvious he’s been taught that disrespect is ok…I bet dad would step up then…I probably would leave him too because how do you let an outsider control your marriage 
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talk to hubby, seems like this’s on him, you are is wife
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Baby mama…hmmmmm and you tried to play a game with them on the only day they get to spend time together…
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I swear-some of these comments on all of these posts come from a place a hurt and have no intentions to help you. . You sure as hell are entitled to have your feelings. You’re not wrong. But there is a time to navigate it. I’d also suggest talking with your husband more. As for the trip-I think giving them their own time will help in the long run. But you’re doing everything right. Just keep showing up for him.
But I do think maybe the son does think you could be the reason his dad isn’t in his life. But I do think when he’s ready to talk with you, he will. You just can’t force it.
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It’s probably the kids mom putting stuff on his head…he should not hate you for mo resson
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This is all on your husband to sort out but I’m guessing he feels a lot of guilt and won’t do a thing.
I’m so sorry
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There are exceptions to every rule and every situation is very different and every situation ends up very different.
However, every situation I have personally seen like this one ends in divorce. But best advice would be to prepare yourself for the worst! Save money! Get a good day job! Have your own stuff! Have your own car not in his name. And hope and pray for the best! Good luck!
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The child needs to get over it! His dad needs to find out what the issue is, maybe it’s his mom. His dad needs to speak up and let him know this is not exceptable
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The kids are a product of their environment. Our kiddos (the ones that live here full time AND the ones that don’t) will never ever hear us say bad things about my stepdaughters mother. Be better about your language and build a foundation you can stand on - not one you jump off when it gets a little hard.
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Go on vacation with your husband… take in the sites while they visit and do one dinner together
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He or they are manipulating you, step away,let your husband handle it, make it clear that kid should not visit you or yr kids until it’s resolved
I went through this with my now grown bonus daughters. They lived on the east coast and we live on the west coast. When they divorced, she high tailed it 3,000 miles away and refused to let him see his kids. Then she told the girls he chose me over them. They hated me. A lot had to do with their Mom and the toxicity she poured out on them.
My husband had been divorced for 6 years when I met him. But in their minds I was to blame. His ex doesn’t want him, but doesn’t want him with anyone else either.
The oldest is now 30 and we have a good relationship. It took some really hard talks, and unraveling to get to the truth,before we became friends.
The 25 year old and I tolerate each other. She done some pretty terrible things to both our youngest and me. I recognize though that it comes out of a lot of pain and emotional trauma.
The best thing you can do is keep loving him,but allow them to have their time together. Your husband shouldn’t allow them to be disrespectful, but at the same time,you need to give them their space. You can’t force anyone to love you
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That’s not love and you deserve way better! I’m sorry sweetheart.
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