My husbands temper has been short lately

Does he cry?

It might seem like a dumb question but it’s a real honest one. Men who have been taught and ingrained that ‘men don’t cry’ or ‘talk about their feelings’ tend to develop anger issues. My husband was one and had to take anger management counseling because he broke stuff and yelled. He’d punch holes in the wall. I gave him 2 choices. Shape up or get out.
If he was to decide shape up, I’m here to help and support you through it.
If get out, then bye.
He shaped up. Took counseling. And now is an amazing communicator. He also cry’s if he’s super overwhelmed and talks to me about his feelings now. It was hard but it has been amazing since.

He needs to quit drinking. He can NEVER put his hand on the kiddo like that.

All these people saying ‘it’s abuse’ sound ignorant. You have already stated it is the first time he’s ever acted like this, and he has never been violent and isn’t, then he is not abusive. He can have a bad temper and still be angry without being abusive. A temper does not mean abuse, necessarily. This just seems like he made a bad mistake. However, It sounds like it was very unintentional. Yes, he could have been upset and dropped her arm, but I highly doubt he meant to do it with force that it hit the ground and left a mark. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel bad and he wouldn’t have left. He’s overwhelmed mama. I think he doesn’t want to overwhelm you by talking about what’s overwhelming him, so he bottles it up. He’s trying to cope with drinking, which will only ignite the stress and anger. He needs help.
When he comes back, talk to him calmly. Tell him that, first, it wasn’t okay what he did to the child, but you feel he is overwhelmed. Let him know you want him to talk with you and it’s okay for him to be stressed and talk about his feelings. That it’s okay to cry. He doesn’t have to bottle it up and be angry. Real men cry and have feelings too. And that you’re here for him through all of it. And you will help him get help.

If he stays closed off mama and doesn’t accept help, then he will have to leave until he does.
But if he admits it, please please please get him help.
Guys struggle with ppd, ppa, and ppp as well. They are just like us mamas with feelings. These mamas acting like he can’t have mental health issues, only you can, make me sick to my stomach. He is human too. He needs help, not to be kicked further down the hole. So 2 choices. Shape up and get help (counseling etc) with your support, or he leaves and doesn’t come back until he’s gotten help on his own.
Good luck gorgeous.:heavy_heart_exclamation:

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It’s good for him to be at his sister’s now. Talk to him and ask what has been stressing him so much. Say you’ll support him if he needs it. But he can’t come home while he’s still drinking. He needs to find a healthier outlet.

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He is choosing drink over the family he needs help. You need to separate for awhile

see your lawyer today

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Do SOMETHING before you get reported to dhs/cps! That’s CHILD ENDANGERMENT/ABUSE! :face_with_monocle:

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Leave! While he is gone if you have to throw all your stuff in the plastic bags and leave! Who do you love him or him or your children? You see what he did to your little two-year-old baby. It’s only going to get worse! You don’t deserve this your children do not deserve this! Best of luck to you

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Get out now while he’s gone ,don’t look back

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Hun I’m sorry but if hes now hurting the kids it’s time to leave.

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Y’all really acting like guys can’t have mental health issues, and don’t need support/help like us moms do, makes me sick. He’s obviously overwhelmed, doesn’t feel he can express his stress (prob not tryna overwhelm wife) so he bottles it up and turns to drinking. He needs help. Support. Counseling. JUST like y’all would OFFER ANY MOM after having kids. Ppd, ppa, and ppp can affect MEN too as well as WOMEN. He made a mistake. He needs help not to be crucified. Disgusting.

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Children don’t deserve that, it’s one thing if YOU choose to stay knowing he’s violent, but your children did not make that choice. It’s hard, but he either needs counseling/to stop drinking, or leave for your babies. He clearly doesn’t care about any of you if this is how he acts, I’d be looking for a job at school, daycare, work from home, etc where you can have your kids with you unless you have a sitter

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Tell him to shape up or get out.

Yes I have been thru simular. Don’t think you will change him he has to change himself. If he has gotten that ruff with a 2 yr old to me that point towards danger. He is losing common sence. I would call him out on his actions once and for all. Don’t delay and don’t doubt where this could be going for you or your children PLEASE

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Stress really changes people.

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Talk to a lawyer to find out what you should do don’t leave listen to the lawyer

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That’s abuse. If you fail to get out and protect your kids NOW, you’re complacent. Children’s services could step in.
Contact your local sheriffs office and have this documented by them or in the ER. Then ask for resources like your local DV shelter. They can help financially, with a lawyer, with therapy, and with a safe place to stay. Get out before he does worse to your babies

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Um… he had the choice to leave after doing that, and acting like an animal to your Baby(s)? I would have thrown him out on his ass so damn fast. If he doesn’t appreciate what he has then he’s a loser. Period. You need out. You need to set boundaries, and you need to protect your children.

Why would you want to work it out with someone who abuses your child? Leave. Or i hope your children are taken away

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I say try counseling! He clearly has something he needs to address. Maybe couples counseling! I would try to see if you can salvage your marriage. If he refuses to seek help or refuses counseling then I would say give him the ultimatum. Tell him the children and you don’t deserve this remind him again you came from that background and you don’t want that for your kids too. If after you suggest counseling or him getting some help. If he doesn’t want to I would move on. People go through tough times and no he isn’t going about it the right way. It sounds like you guys have established a lot together. I would try the get help options first leave if he has no desire to fix anything. Good luck to you.,

If he’s hurting the children, then you know what you need to do.
That’s child abuse and you don’t need that in your life. If you allow it to happen, you become just as guilty as he is.
Don’t put your children at risk.

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I just left my partner of 12 years sometimes off, bc he yells when he is upset, and he yell loud! I’m tired of not being talk to like a human and being yelling at. He yells at the children which is super annoying. I can’t have someone yelling at my child for something small. You deserve you peace as do your children. It sucks being alone but after awhile it gets better. Wish the best for you and your boys :two_hearts:

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He put his hands on your child and left marks and you don’t know what to do… Girl you LEAVE!
Abuse does NOT get better. Protect those babies and yourself!!!

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A man hurt my child his ass would be in jail…Period!!!

Ask him to talk to you maybe something is going on depression etc . Or maybe he can’t cope with you being pregnant and struggling money wise .try talking and see what happens but tell him you will not let him take his temper out on you or the children .tell him of he carrys on he will have to leave you can’t cope with him being this way

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Sounds like my father , he did this to my mother. he never changed ,
til 3 years ago , my mom finally left him after 33 years being together she finally left him 3 years ago , I told my mom he changed and she said yeah cause he has no one to mistreat , my advice as a mother of 3 kids going for my 4th now , leave before it’s to late. I know it’s not so easy , but in the long run it’ll be worth it , your peace and your kids peace comes first! Hopefully you have family you can count on and who can support you til you can get your feet back up. I’m so sorry your going through this. It’ll get better mama , ask God to either remove you or remove him .

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Part of his behavior is caused from him not smoking,it makes you so irritable and short tempered. I stopped smoking because I wanted to,leave him alone with it,he will just place it with Alcohol.

For someone like me a mom of four me n my children been through that and trust me as much as I tried to help their father with his anger to the point it was leading to abuse it’s not worth it it’s only going to get worse …take ur children and get away from him fast

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If he abuses his child you will be next :-1::-1:

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Tormenting your children with fear until they are red in the face is abusive and it’s the start to a very long cycle of abuse. Men that are not in control of their feelings/tempers/actions NEVER change.
At the end of the day you are the one in control of making good decisions for you and ESPECIALLY your children. Remember that before you let the beast back into you and your children’s home! Home is supposed to be your safety net, but the environment of your home is not healthy for you and your children right now, so change the issue for your kids sake…

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Are sure he didn’t break that baby’s arm and he shouldn’t be putting his hands on a child like that that’s abuse that right there should be a sign right there for you to leave him because if he’ll do it once its more than likely going to happen again so get out while you can before something far worse happens to you and the kids both

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Get help for you and the kids and get away from him. Do you know what his problem is or did you ask him? Ask his mother?

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There’s something elese going on there with him .either he’s guilty of something and its eating at him and he can’t stand him self. Or he’s getting ready to do something bad or lie to you about something. Be very carefull hun

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l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19283 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE…https://Dollarground203.surge.sh

Stress from another child on the way or hes using drugs when away from you possibly a cocaine habit that’s starting to get out of control I’m a firm believer in a little of something is manageable but sometimes things get out of hand and this kind of behavior goes hand in hand with that. Could be pills or ne thing really could even be weed some people get dependent upon it and when they dont have it they get cranky. Like that with ne drug really even smoking then being forced to not smoke around u makes him cranky.To the people saying leave him no figure out the issue and go from there no one should lose a marriage over this unless its unable to be managed, and they become completely gone. Then its let them go and move on or let them go and love ur own life separate if you refuse to divorce. A person needs to hit there bottom sometimes but again that’s up to you if your willing to hold on without the guarantee that’s they will ever make it back.

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leave him and take your kids

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My instincts tell me he may be using drugs, especially if he’s secretive about money and the mood change. He may not, I’m don’t know him, but I am in recovery and that gets my “spidey senses” tingling. And I was angry all the time as an addict in active addiction… I didn’t think I was at the time, but other people told me so, and it did eventually become apparent to me. Good luck!

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Yes he should have never put his hands on the child no matter the situation . He could be stressing about another baby on the way ; his job anything really. You can post in these groups and everyone can tell you to leave and all of this but that’s really up to you and you only . Do what you think is best for you and the kids . If it’s trying to continue fixing your family or leaving .

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This is usually how men act when they’re cheating and feel guilty

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There’s definitely something else going on in his world. Maybe BS at work, maybe cheating or something else. Regardless of what it is, he should never have raised his hand to anyone. I wish I had have had the courage to leave after the very first violent outburst my ex husband had. Allowing this behaviour even once lays some really negative groundwork for him thinking that this behaviour is ok.

Suggest to him that he gets counselling both for himself to get through whatever and also with you to try and break a pattern before it becomes a pattern.

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3 babies in 3 years…just sayin’ …was that a bit too much for your relationship…l think hes regretting this deal

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He isn’t happy with how his life is and possibly who is in it. It is what it looks like xo

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Anybody else take notice that Courtney is the only one giving a mad emoji she must approve of what this man has done she needs help if she does

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Nope not ok. At ALL. That is where you stop questioning and start acting. Like moving out while he’s away acting. If he wants to work on his anger great. He can do it while you and especially your babies are safe.

Get out now seriously. He could’ve broke your child’s arm. You should’ve called the cops because that right there was child abuse.

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l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14609 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE…https://Dollarground218.surge.sh

Take your children and go to a shelter if he won’t leave. You’ll only be sorry if u stay in an abusive relationship.

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Get the hell out of dodge before someone really gets hurt!!!

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Leave him now before it gets worse.

Save your babies and try to make a plan to get some where safer for you and children

Hubby needs therapy.

That’s physical abuse. Your kids need safety. And if he’s drinking every night he’s an alcoholic.

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Kick him out. Change the locks while he’s gone. Start applying for assistance. You’ll get it since you have medical issues.

He is a danger to you and your children.

Yes my advice is to go to a shelter quick fast and in a hurry.

Cheating or finances

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Leave. Never tolerate that type of behavior. Cheating???

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Pack his belongings and set them outside and never give him another chance to hurt :cry: your children again! It’s just the beginning of abuse and you’ll be next!

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Well first off I would have reported his ass for hurting your child then get restraining order to get him out of house

That’s absolutely not ok. I’m a survivor of severe child abuse to the point that both of my parents lost their rights. That baby is only 2 and he left marks as a punishment? Take those babies and run. The alcohol is only going to exacerbate the problem.

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Go to Al-Anon. It’s for friends and families of alcoholics. These days there are virtual meetings every few hours. Growing up with an alcoholic, you learned a lot of destructive patterns. Al-Anon can help a lot.

Next, you should see a family therapist who specializes in addiction. You need to learn to put yourself and your kids first. That starts with keeping all of you safe. Your husband is dangerous right now. He needs counseling and living together should depend on him going.

Best wishes.

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Sounds like he’s extremely depressed and taking it out on you and the kids. Probably be good if he talked to his doctor or maybe spoke to someone about how he’s feeling. He shouldn’t be touching the kids like that ever.

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He is either stressed about the Financials or he is cheating.

Should have locked the door behind him and chucked his stuff out a window

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He hurt your 2 year old!!! Hes gone. Change the locks!! Next time he might kill him. OMG!!:woman_facepalming:

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Anyone that leaves slams any part of a child and leaves fingerprints needs put in jail and if you allow it you’re as much to blame.

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You need to protect yourself and your babies

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He has anger issues, he should never put hands on you or the children, not ever! If he doesn’t agree to get help you will need to move on ,too much at stake! Prayers for you all :pray:

Come up with a list of what could be bugging him and ask him which ones (ALL the ones that)apply to him so you can understand and help with what’s going on:

  1. Financial worries with you not working?
  2. Financial worries about a third mouth to feed?
  3. Crap going on at his work—people bugging him, embarrassed in front of others, difficult boss, nobody listens to him?
  4. Crap at work—he might lose his job, get demoted, or bought out? Getting a more onerous workload for no extra compensation?
  5. Found another woman?
    If so, want a divorce?
  6. Pandemic craziness? Why?
  7. He only gets mean when he drinks?
    Is he willing to join AA or not? Or I s he OK with being an alcoholic?
  8. Mid-life crisis? Aches, pains, hair loss, weight gain, feeling old, obsolete or just the weight of his mortality?
  9. Bad medical news for himself, a friend or family member?
  10. Sudden personality change even without alcohol? Get him to the doctor. Could be a tumor or something else going on with his brain.

Add anything else you can think of,

Once you have the source identified, you can go about solving the problem. Let him know if he can’t behave civilly to you and the kids, he needs to move out. If he’s with his sister call her & ask to speak to him. If he’s not there, then it’s another woman. Only let him back when he starts going to AA daily and/or takes anger management classes, and/or gets therapy. Your job is to keep yourself and your kids safe. What if he punched you and kills the baby you’re carrying?

Please be safe, have a safe house you can run to if/when he gets violent and/or loses his temper. Get a key & wear it around your neck. If he follows you, drive to the police station.

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Yea, tell him he’s not welcome back until he’s sober and can stay sober. If he can’t do that for his family, you’re better off without him.

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l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18355 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Info Here >>> https://JobComputer82.surge.sh/

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You needed to call the law. Maybe I’m different, but I don’t play about my children.

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Definitely should have called the police :fearful:

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Pack and get out now while he is gone. It is only going to get worse

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Stress. Withdrawal from smoking. And now drinks more than normal. All this is very stressful plus another mouth to feed ,house and take care of can all be overwhelming. Him hurting the baby was probably an accident. Talk to him while he’s not drinking and let him know that he needs to see a Dr to come off cigarettes and alcohol. It’s the only way to save this marriage plus no more physical abuse. Let him know accidents happen but , not after today. Physical abuse will not be tolerated. I’m sure he’s apologetic for that. People make mistakes and deserve a second chance but, let him know …never again. We seek help when we’re overwhelmed. No one is perfect.

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Why have so many kids he feels smothered

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Red flags. So many red flags. Not okay. People say seek help. Sure. I’m gonna suggest distance. What if he’d fractured or broke your 2 year olds arm. That’d be a police report and cps. Dangerously close…

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Husband or not, I would file a report on his ass. Goodbye mf

I would tell him not to come back until he wants to talk and get help. There is a problem he has to address with a professional. You can get help. DO NOT LET HIM BACK IN UNLESS A COUNSELOR SAID IT IS OKAY.

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Ring the cops on him get him out of yes n the kids life’s

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Uh when it comes to your kids you shouldn’t even be asking. His ass should be kicked to the curb get out while you still can.

Change the locks leave his stuff on the front lawn. That’s unacceptable, I would have called the police on him.

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That is child abuse and he should of been arrested, be careful what you post on the abuse because if dhs saw it, you both would be in jail

And your just as guilty as he is for not reporting it

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Do you have a support system? If not you need to get help. No matter what the outcome you can’t figure this out alone. You both need help. If I read that correctly and he struck the baby you need some get and maintain some distance between you until professionals consider it safe. I don’t know where you are, but CPS may have resources you can tap into. You being pregnant makes you more vulnerable. You other children are young and must be protected.

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If he had injured the child enough to require an ER visit, they would have reported it and since you didn’t call the police all of your children would have been removed from your care. If you allow him back into your home I can guarantee that is what will happen. Tell him to get help. AA, church counseling or whatever and 3 months sober before he come home or be prepared to lose your kids to the state,

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I think another baby on the way and he’s the only one working is making him feel overwhelmed and stressed out.
Suggest counseling

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I would drive by the sisters house— just sayin

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He’s obviously cheating, in sure his sister has her own life no need for him to be at his sister’s that long with out u!

I tried working it out with an alcoholic and it didn’t end well. The fact that he left marks on your babies arms you need to get out and you need to leave. Is there a safe place you can stay for awhile.

Hun, you’ve heard of shaken baby syndrome, right. Your babies brain isn’t fully attached to the spinal cord until they’re 5-6 years old. If he’s doing that to your 2 year old what’s he going to do with your new baby? Children first, ALWAYS! And yes I understand what you’re saying about health issues while pregnant, my rainbow babies were very complicated pregnancies.

I would’ve been done… my children come first.

Leave and require him to get at least 6 month counseloring, quit drinking completely and anger management before you consider letting him in you and kids life

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It sounds like he is very overwhelmed. Was he happy about having another baby ? I don’t at all judge, and understand why you can’t work. But maybe that’s an added pressure also. How he is handling said pressure though is definitely not acceptable. As mentioned above I’d that had resulted in a hospital it would rip your family apart. I would tell him he needs to start speaking to a counsellor of sorts, quit the drinking and gain the trust of the kids again before letting him back in that house. Your babies now need YOU to stand up and protect them. I hope he comes to the table and gets some help so you all can live life happily again :heart:

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I would leave or make him leave. Not healthy to be around the kids or stress you while pregnant. Ask yourself this…if your sister or a girlfriend was going through this, what advice would you give them? Sometimes we give really good advice, but don’t flow it for ourself. Keep you and those babies safe.

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Who cares what he is doing, if he is being that violent with your children something has to give. You are the protector of your children, make sure you don’t just “let this slide” because it could cause permanent issues for those babies. I’m sure he is very stressed being the only one working and adding another baby, absolutely get that but he needs to seek some sort of help because if not you and those kids will all come to resent him for the way he acts. Bottom line, communicate with him about it, lay it all out how you feel and if he gets enraged then you or him one need to go for awhile.

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It’s the alcohol. That does not excuse or justify the behavior. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and my husband is but has been sober for 7 years now. They are such different people when they stop and do some healing. But most definitely you do not want that for you or your babies. I gave my husband the ultimatum to quit or leave when I had our first daughter.

I would say get whatever money you can, all important documents for you and the kids and the essentials and go. Go to a family member house, friend’s, a shelter…and file for custody of the kids and for a divorce. You can get on assistance til baby is a few weeks old then work on daycare and going to work to get on your feet. Do not stay. It will only get worse. He is drinking, lying, and lashing out.

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If he’s abusive to you or the children then it’s time to GO! No excuses!

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There is something more going on? Cheating maybe? Check his sister’s place where staying.
You got a lot on your shoulders. Don’t let back until he outright apologizes .

It is far better to come from a broken home rather than live in one!

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