My in-laws don't like me because I can't have kids

I need advice. My in-laws don’t like me and I think it’s because I can’t have kids. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the first 5 years were very rough and had a bad relationship with his family. We tried for years to get pregnant and after 7 years we finally got pregnant. The same night we found out about the baby, we also found out it was ectopic so we had to rush into surgery to save my life and of course sadly my one and only baby wasn’t going to make it. That was the most traumatic experience of my life and not one of our family members was there for us during that time. Not even my own mom came to see me in the hospital and that’s caused a lot of mental damage to me. After that I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, PTSD, and I suffer major abandonment issues from that experience. My in-laws have shown no sympathy to me or their son about our experience and it really takes a toll out on me. I moved from a different state away from all my loved ones to be closer to the in-laws and they literally act like we don’t live 2 minutes down the road from them. They never try to spend time with us, come over to visit, nothing. While I see how good they treat their other daughter in law who does have kids. It really makes me feel like they don’t like me because I can’t have kids and I’m super depressed right now. I never had a good relationship with my own parents, so I always hoped I would marry into a family that loved me like their own but it’s just not like that. But it is like that with their other daughter in law and son in law. The only difference is, they have kids and I don’t. I take care of their son, I love him unconditionally and he loves me the same so I can’t understand why they still don’t like me. I do have a bad past but I’ve been living a straight path for 3 years now so I don’t see what the problem is now? We still try to get pregnant 3 years after our loss but it’s just not happening. My mental health is not good right now, and I could really use a family to turn to but they would never be there for me because they don’t like to talk about the loss. I’m so lost


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My in-laws don't like me because I can't have kids

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This absolutely breaks my heart for you. You know, we are all made in the image of God and that makes us exactly who we are supposed to be. I don’t know why some people can have children and some can’t but I do know that somewhere there is a child that longs for a mother as much as you long for a child. I know adoption is expensive and there are so many hoops you have to jump through but maybe being a foster parent might be something that might just be your calling. You sound like a person that has a lot of love to give and I know a child without a mother really needs a lot of love.
Your in-laws are the losers in this situation. They are missing out on a great daughter in law. Pray and ask God for guidance and just rest in the Lord.


Let me give you some advice. I have a former mother in law who thought I wasn’t good enough for her son. We started having issues shortly before her son and I married and I just gave birth to her only grandson. I finally flat out told her, she didn’t have to like me and I didn’t have to like her. She would respect me because I’m her son’s wife and I would respect her because she’s my husband’s mother. If I ever made her son chose between me and her she would not like the outcome because his choice would be me.


First off sorry for your loss, his family forget them because obviously they don’t have what it truly takes to be a family. Concentrate on getting yourself in a better place mentally and physically this can help you in other ways also out of curiosity have you both ever thought of adoption, you know you don’t have to be blood related to be family


Your spouse should step up and defend you against his parents. He married you because he loves you and he should just take a stand and fight along your side. His parents are living their lives and they should respect you and their sons life as well. Having kids is great but just because you can’t have kids doesn’t mean that you are less than a woman that can have kids. There is always adoption that could fill that void. There are so many kids in foster care that need a loving family.


My heart goes out to you, as much as this hurts you must try with some counseling to move on, it’s tough, but your in-laws shouldn’t have the control over your life, marriage, you can only heal and have a healthy relationship if you do the work, don’t sweep anything under the rug, talk to your husband about your feelings and what it means for him to support you, as y’all move forward together


I feel for you sweetie. My in laws hate me too. I had kids but the hate was deep. You need go oi d from iui end to talk to about what ypur feeling.


First, do not try to foster a relationship with people who are dead set on invalidating you. Even if you meet their requirements, they will just keep on moving the goalpost and they will never give you the validation and acceptance.

Second, your husband should make a choice: would he allow his family to treat his wife like this? In this situation, he cannot simply step back and have it both ways, claiming to equally love both his wife and his biological family.

Third, I suggest consulting a therapist to heal from your childhood experiences and your current situation.


This is just so sad! Quit trying to do anything to make them like you. You and your hubby need to just love each other and to hell with anyone else. Quit working overtime trying to get pregnant; if it happens great and if not it’s not the end of the world. You have each other. Work on that and if the family is not there for you, that is on them. Just be yourself and live your life for yourself, not anyone else.


Girl they are not blood family what does it matter if they love you or even like you. For the longest I thought I would marry into a family that would become my 2nd and nope not gonna happen so I accepted it as long as he and I are at peace and we’re at peace with the man upstairs that’s all that matters. I figure not my circus not my monkeys don’t need drama and Karen’s in my life… hahahaha some women :rofl: need to be involved in drama and I can’t deal with super defensive ppl that’s just not me. I can be cultural too so move on do you and move on with your life no one is responsible to make you happy except you


Find a Compassionate Friends group near you. Am sure mtgs are limited now but there can be lots of phone or other ways to get support
Sometimes hospitals offer or can recommend an appropriate group for parents of miscarriage
When our small child died, family mostly wanted me to get over it. Finding the compassion at the mtgs I attended saved my life
Sometimes family gets to be who we pick-not necessarily our blood family. Look for that kind of friends. I was surprised one of mine was an Avon lady who had a son die years before. We’d just moved. God sent her I’m sure. Sending hugs


Just always remember that God loves you unconditionally. He doesn’t care what about your past. He cares about your future And your needs. Talk to him and ask him to come into your heart and help you with your situation. He already knows about your situation just waiting for you. to ask for his help. He loves you and wants your life to be happy.


Girl if they don’t like you that’s on them not you, don’t let that keep you down, put your mental health first get that worked on, tell your husband to have your back with his parents, you’ll be ok sweetie deep breaths

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been there myself with multiple miscarriages. After the miscarriages I had given up hope that I would ever have a baby again, but 12 years later I got pregnant! The big man upstairs gave me a beautiful girl, but I truly believe it was because I had worked on my mental health. I had finally hit a point in my life where I stopped focusing on all the bad stuff in my life and focused on the good. I truly started to find my purpose in life. Wishing you all the best!


Love your self… God has biggee plans for you. Maybe youve been chosen to be with kids thats parents not want them or that have hurt them. Stand strong an tall


Losing a child is so painful. I have lost 2. There are other ways to be parents. in the meantime just love yourself and your husband. The stress and negativity from outside your home adds to your difficulty having babies. Breathe mama. Family is not just blood. Reach out to a support group or some good friends and vent it all out. Get healthy for you. Good luck


You can’t control other people’s behavior. You can only control yourself. There is no reason to let their horrible behavior effect your mental health. The stress is only making it more difficult to get pregnant. Stop worrying about your in laws and focus on you and your husband.


Right now take this opportunity to focus on myself and on things that are noble. let them be dont stress yourself over things that you have no control over them , just pray harder things will be ok

If you and your husband have a strong marriage cherish it. In regards to family create your own if your parents aren’t supportive or are toxic. Life is too short to waste your time on trying to create something that doesn’t exist, at least with these sets of parents. In the end it is their loss that they have failed to see what a wonderful loving couple you are.


Love and take care of your self and your husband. The important thing is that your husband is by your side. God has a way of making things possible. I dont know your age group but I had my first born at the age of 38. Being mocked by even my own mother that I am barren. It hurt so much but I believed that God would one day hear me and he did in his own time. For now try to find counselling to deal with getting your emotional and mental state better and then Depending on you financial state you could opt for IVF or surrogacy. If it is not for you just be hopeful and pray that one day you will conceive naturally. It is never easy but Pls take care of your self and hubby. Love you first the rest will fall into place. :pray:

You are giving them way too much power over your happiness and peace of mind…if they do not like you…then just let them be…do not try to make them like you…you have a husband who loves you…appreciate that and live a life of joy…the best revenge is living a happy life without them


You need a faith family! A group of people with the same spiritual beliefs that you have that will fold you into their family. Family doesn’t have to be blood.


The only persons approval you need is your own. Start loving you and being content with the women you are… as you grow the thought of what other people’s opinions will diminish… your husband knows you and he loves you. He married you not his parents… if they behave a certain way it same on them it says a lot about their character… people pleasing out of fear of not being loved or accepted stems from your past. Seek out a life coach, counseling or a friend who passes no judgment… just remind yourself daily that you are enough and you are damn sure good enough…


Sorry for your loss. The only thing that matters is you love your husband and he loves you. I know you’re in an emotional funk rn, I’ve been there. Just put the in-laws in the rear view and just keep moving forward and looking ahead. And unless you’ve had a dr tell you it’s not happening just keep trying. I had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage within a year of each other in my 20’s I went off the deep end, made some terrible choices. But I got myself right I’ve been in a healthy and happy relationship for 6 years. I have my furbabies and 3 years ago when I was 43 we were blessed my beautiful daughter. Unfortunately these things don’t always happen when you want them but when it’s supposed to happen. Sending prayers your way! :heart:


Oh sweetie so sorry for all you are going through. I dont know your spiritual condition but if you give your heart fully to the Lord and seek His face first He will comfort you as He is close to the broken hearted. Forgive all those who have hurt you. Lay the greatest desire you have on the altar to the Lord. Thats what I did when my son was missing. By surrendering my will to the Lord I got peace. I forgave my ex for stealing my son. Then a miracle happened and I got my son back. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart. I am going to pray for you for the whole situation. Call the 700 Club and have someone pray for you. Hopefully others who comment will pray as well. Be comforted by these comments that show you you are not alone. Be thankful for the love of your husband. That is a great gift. The love you have for each other is rare in this crazy world.


Your mother in law maybe doesn’t like you because she is still stuck on your past and the bad behavior that was part of that,rather then the fact that you don’t have children. If I was in that situation I would speak to her alone and ask her to tell you why she is not available to you and tell her how you feel.Be open and honest but have no expectations that she will be honest.Watch her as you confront her with your feelings and let her know how it affects you and her son.Be truthful and then walk away knowing you took the first step and the next step is up to her.I don’t think having a child will change her behavior towards you as I don’t think that is the real reason she doesn’t interact with you.Have no expectations and move on with your life.Perhaps you can think of adoption if you can’t get pregnant. Form closer relationships with friends etc and learn to look at what you do have in life and not what you don’t have.I wish you the very best.Go towards those that care about you .


Sorry that you are going through all this. Go for counselling. You are important and deserve happiness. Your husband also needs to get help. He should be talking to his parents, but maybe he is feeling just like you,but handling it in a different manner. You both need to live you lives and use your love for each other to get through this.

I am a champion of survivors! Focus on your relationship…plan fun activities after work…even simple movie nights …serve …help out another couple, a senior…a neighbour…redirect your energies to making a pie…dropping off groceries, helping with your friend’s youngster so they have a day off.
Inward thinking…can be harmful and open doors to depression and lack of self love. The attention you give yourself should be positive…
Every day…stay close to your partner…if it Is something you can do attach to a local group and enjoy the kind support of a church family. Is life easy/ fair…no!
Are relatives accepting and loving …not like those perfect TV families.
Realign where you are…seek a mentor… a few great friends and focus on helping others.
I repeat that…cause it was my best learning…when my world collapsed. You are a good writer…develop your skills…hugs, grins, cookies and coffee…
You matter!
You matter!


Family isn’t always blood related. Work on yourself with personal development. Find what makes you happy. Don’t expect it from family. Sorry for the loss of your child. Try to keep yourself busy with friends doing everything that pleases you.

I hope you seek counseling. The only person who is responsible for your own happiness. People including family members will do what they want. There’s nothing you can do about it. I had to learn this the hard way. I do still keep in contact but I keep my distance. I no time or room for toxic energy. You and your hubby know the truth and according to you have unconditional love. Learn to truly love yourself and you will not care if you are accepted…

After my 4th miscarriage my MIL had the nerve to tell me (while my husband was having a medical emergency and hospitalized after being resuscitated)… “oh, you getting pregnant is STILL A THING???”… My own mother was in the car with me and heard it through the Bluetooth… those words ring in my ear at least once a month, usually when I start cycle… and it may not seem like a big deal to some, but after so many losses, to know she isn’t even rooting for us broke me…

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Concentrate on being who you are you have the love and support of a good husband who knows with less stress and worry a pregnancy might happen

I am sorry that you are going through that. But if someone does not like you, they don’t like you. Get some help for yourself and focus on building relationships with people who want to be loved. You are going to waste 20 more years on them and they are not spending a minute on you.

Work on loving yourself and forget about others. If you are happy it will project. And eventually they’ll come around. If not their loss but you tried. Love love love

I’m sorry for the loss of your baby. Don’t give up but don’t let it rule your life. Find happiness in other things. I also lost a baby but 14 years later I finally had my baby. Good luck

If your not religious then get it. God can do wonderful things with your life. Because God loves all of us and he can help with all your problems by letting him in. Now he want just fix your issues because you bring him in he does what he see is fit for you. But always remember God is good all the time and all the time God is good. But I will pray that your problems will get better.

I hope this helps. You can’t turn to others to make you happy. Onlya relationship with Jesus Christ will help. I felt alone when my son died nearly two yesrs ago but with His help and direction, i am dojng alot better. Until you know the unconditional pure love only He can provide you will feel lost .

You can’t make someone like you. You love your husband and he loves you. I am in kind of the some situation. We’ve been married 46 years. Just do your best to keep you and your husband happy. They are the ones missing out by not having you in their life. Some people are just to damaged to live a full life

You think the bad relationship is because you can’t have kids. It may be something else, and not your fault. Live a great life with your husband and let the others go. You know you are worthwhile. Their loss.

If it doesn’t happen for you God has a plan there is a little life out in the world that needs someone to call mom & dad!!!

I’m so sorry that your family has distanced themselves from you and your husband. No excuse whatsoever! Just remember you know who you are and I hope you and your husband have love for each other. You sound like a wonderful person and I hope you love yourself! It’s their loss and some day they will be full of regrets. Enjoy your life with your husband and be thankful for him being in your life! There’s women that have absolutely no one.

First , pray to god about your situation and realize that his son paid a ransom for you to be forgiven… have you change? If yes , then it’s time to accept yourself and relax … if need be move! Talk to your husband and tell him , how you feel diplomatically because it’s his family…. And focus on your love and let God do justice for you, trust God and do what is good … don’t be around them , obviously they are very selfish , judge mental people and if you are good to their son that’s all that matters . So focus on the love you have and be GRATEFUL ! Don’t focus on them …. Be happy and you might be surprised! Forgive them and give them to god to do justice because the resentment and bitterness will leave you.

So you tell your parents if they can’t accept me bcause I can’t have children. I don’t want them no where in my life and I mean it… And if u find that I am being unfair you can go home to your parents.

Go and get yourself into counciling… It will help you tremendously in coping with all these issues. Worry about yourself first and learn to take care of you. I wish you luck in all of this. :pray:

idk why I am seeing these really heartbreaking stories this morning coming from another forum I am not a member of, but if the author can see my response I would say all these people are mean, they suck and they don’t deserve you. Seek out new friends, you seem like a very nice person. Some friends are better than family, especially yours. I am sorry you have gone through all this but it sounds as though you have been able to keep your problems from the past in the past even going through all this sh*t and that is a tremendous accomplishment! You will find new people who will be the "loved ones’ that your family were supposed to be. God Bless and Comfort you.

You don’t marry the family you married your husband. There are plenty of kids out there that need a good mom and dad.

So sorry I couldn’t deal with it either. That sense of abandonment that won’t leave you. All the answers are above. However … Your heart still aches…just know you are better than they are. My angel tells me (The one with the feathers) I’m good and I hang onto that with both hands.

You keep saying how this is making you feel. How does your husband feel about this all. Is he upset by any of this…what are his thoughts? You say you are depressed and hurting, you need to work on you right now. Try going to counseling to work on your depression. Get your self into a good position mentaly and learn to be there for yourself. Stop looking for others to hold you up. Then when you are in a good place again…deal with the in-laws. You need to worry about you and your husband right now.

Live your life be happy with your husband he loves you and thats all that matters rise above these people you are as good if not better ! That is all that matter dont let negative thoughts spoil what you have with your loving husband be happy xx

You said you have been good the past 3 years but married for 10. His family doesn’t trust you because of the first 7, is my guess.

We tend to worry about what everyone else thinks of us rather than what we have. If you and your husband are happy then what else matters? Why worry about others if they don’t care about you? Live your own life the way you want to. It’s their loss.

First of all learn to love yourself and like yourself. Family does not have to be blood. Develop your own interests, goals not based on others. Do you really believe his parents will become Hallmark grandparents if you have a baby. Nope, they are invested in those others. So, you and your husband get busy “living and loving” your family (yes you two). Stop pining away for folks who don’t care for you.

You’re not alone. I got pregnant in 2017 only to lose it a month later the same way, plus a ruptured cyst. I’m in a similar boat as you. I truly feel for you and wish you nothing but the best

Cut the toxic people out of your life. Live close to the family members who support you mentally.
Actions speak louder then words. You can’t change the way people feel about you.
You can only change your self. Choose to be happy. And dump the rest

First off you married him not his whole family.
If you dont love yourself,
You cant convince anyone els too.
It starts with you.
Also im Sorry for your loss.
Last thing, you can always adopt or become a foster parent.
Be The change,
Make a differance.
Not for them for yourself & your partner.

You can’t make anyone, including family, want to be around you. Even if you had children, there are many family members who, for whatever reason, don’t want that closeness. Live your life and find people who want to be around you.

This family is toxic to you. You’re better off steering clear of them. No matter how much it hurts you just can’t live your life trying to please them. Shame on them. Their acceptance is not needed. And if your own mother didn’t bother to see you in the hospital, well that’s heartless. Start living your life for you and your marriage. You are going to have to let go. Never beg someone to love you. Love yourself.

I am so very sorry for your struggles with the in-laws. If your husband stands by you, that is all that matters. Separate your emotions, I know, easier said than done, if he supports you it makes no difference what they think or feel. Be kind to you & think of yourself. I know it sounds selfish, but what they think is of no importance. They only people who matter are you & your husband. Keep faith & stay strong…priorities…& you matter

Ypu can’t help the way other ppl are it’s not only ou they doing it to their own son no way would I moved closer to them fact is they not interested in yous and to be honest dint think even if u had a baby things would change I’d move away again start a new life with your husband

Don’t give up. A cousin had her first bub 10yrs after marriage an aunt after 11+ years of marriage. Miracles do happen and honestly there are kids out there who would love a mum and dad especially a mum to love them. I honestly think when you hold a baby in your arms it doesn’t matter if u gave birth to it or its someone else’s. You love them from the heart. You don’t need the parents . Miracles do happen just remember that. Good luck and God bless.

First I’m super sorry for your loss. I too have had an ectopic pregnancy and it was devastating so I totally understand. First don’t give up hope. My Mother had one and they told her it was next to impossible to ever have a child. 5 years later she had my sister, 10 months later me, and 3 years later my little sister. It can happen when you least expect it. I was older when I had mine and I had kids and just chose not to have more. I’m sure you know their are other ways to have a family and if you think it won’t be the same I promise you it will. When you fall in love with a child be it step or adoption that child has your whole heart. Finally about your in-laws. I can hear how important it is for you to try. If it was me I’d stop in with my Husband and let them know how you feel. Ask them point blank why they treat you the way they do and listen. Some relationships are worth fighting for and some your so much better walking away from. If someone doesn’t see your value it’s not your fault it’s there fault. Only you can decide which direction to go. And if you can find someone professional to help you find your worth independent of other peoples opinions. Remember You do have a family and that’s your husband. You can grow your family. Family isn’t always blood. Family is who you care about and who cares about you. I wish you the very best and I hope you find what your looking for.:heart:

I would say they probably are the same with the other daughter in law and son in law it’s just the kids they are going to see that make it seem they like them. I don’t have any advice other than know your husband is by your side and take comfort in that. Have you maybe looked into adopting a child xxx

Pets helped me a lot. I went through an infant loss and multiple miscarriages. I decided to get my tubes tied at 28. If the in-laws want you involved, they will reach out. The best advice I got was “It’s ok to be sad and upset for yourself, but happy for others, it helped me get through the birth of a few babies in my families.”

You need a support group. Call the hospitals around you and see if there are any for your situation. See a counselor. You and your husband need to start moving onward with your lives as best as you can. Take vacations to faraway places that are exceedingly beautiful so fill your soul. Go to the theater. Have you considered foster care? Adoption? There are other ways to create your family. Would you consider taking in a family of children that lost their parents? Think outside the box to grow your family. Your mother in on law may still shun you if they are not biological, but you would have your family.

Dude. Mother in laws can just be plain nasty because their baby boy is no longer “only theirs”…the jealousy is real and mom-son relationships can be weird and moms get so possessive that even if you were the best woman on the planet for him, it still wouldn’t be enough for the possessive mom. Write them off, stop trying to gain their approval, because sometimes people have their own agenda that literally may have nothing to do with you. Live your life and realize they are petty and unkind. God don’t like ugly so you shouldn’t either

I’m so sorry for your loss. One thing to remember is that you didn’t marry all those people, you married one and if he supports you then thats all you need.

Don’t give up hope…I had multiple miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, and was told I’d never have children… I was married for ten years working full time and thought I had a flu for weeks on end…only to find out I was pregnant - Miracles do happen, I gave birth to a healthy 10lb baby boy… As far as your inlaws, you can’t change the way people behave or feel. Know, it’s their loss! You have a loving relationship, focus on that… Hang in there,and do reach out for emotional help if you feel you need it!

Happy and positive thoughts. You attract what you think. The doctors didnt say you wont/cant have children, did they? It means theres a 1% chance you might still have a baby. Focus on the goodness of your marriage. Love yourself. Relax and chill out. Believe in miracles. Have faith it will happen. And just be happy and thankful while waitng for it. Besides, it does not make you less of a woman. God may be preparing you for something bigger. Just trust.

Have you thought about Adoption or being a foster parent to children who have no one who had a bad set of parents. You would be amazed at the children who need parents or someplace just to feel safe. Talk to someone about these things. Prayers that God puts you in a place that you can do some good for others and you and your husband also.

Your inlaws are not your be courteous and respectful towards both should seek medical attention and leave this burden at the feet of Jesus.cant wait to hear your testimony

I’m really sorry about what happened to you and I’m sorry they don’t make it any easier. The one thing I can say from past experiences is that everyone grieves differently. Maybe they just don’t know what to say about what happened. By all means I’m not sticking up for them but when my daughter miscarried I told her how sorry I was that she had to go thru that. I wanted to be there for her more than she’ll ever know. It was hard because she didn’t want to talk about it and I felt awful. So maybe your in-laws are afraid to discuss it because they don’t want to step on your toes, if ya know what I mean. If you are able to get some counseling I think it would really help. Between everything you’ve been thru before and after you met your husband I can see why you feel the way you do. I hope you feel better soon

This is so heartbreaking can you join a support group for people that have suffered loss and rejection. This is so heartbreaking so sorry. It seems like you need a support person a friend to support you and one has not been there for you. :pray: you deserve better than what these so called in-laws have given you! But I have found that we can’t make people care for us if they won’t. Try to be good to yourself by sending. Yourself positive messages if you are religious a church group would be very helpful!

My friend adopted 2 children a boy and a girl and they are the apple of her eye They have families of there own now 4 grandchildren So maybe you could look into that Maybe your in laws don’t know how to approach you maybe they see the sadness I know when I lost my first baby no one knew how to approach the subject hope everything goes well for you both x

You need to focus on yourself. You need to get better. It took me 10 yrs to have my son. Some people You can not satisfy. You will be never good enough for some. You need to feel better. It is incredibly hard. Sending you all the strength. Just hope for the best!

Then there not worth it and I would hope your husband as the balls to stand up for you I hope you have good friends some times look for good support groups there out there how about adopting

Why not adopt? Just give the love to someone else who lost a family and start a new one. If they don’t like the child for not being their blood line oh well too bad. Sound like horrid, shallow people anyway whom I would not want to be around.

I had fertility problems I know how it feels. Forget the in Laws mine were the same. Get some counseling and view other options just in case . Good Luck and take each day at a time.

Sometimes they say if you don’t try to hard for a baby it will happen so try and enjoy life and not focus on it

Thank you for posting, Beautiful Queen. My heart aches for you in this time. I too had an ectopic pregnancy, and my one child lost.
I feel you. I see you. I hear you.
Toxic is toxic; it matters not if they are your blood family, in-laws, or other. Turning that energy of love and longing back to yourself… you may find great value in focusing on leaning back and truly loving yourself. This may very well be your line-in-the-sand moment. Sending you so much love.:heart:

There is always 2 sides to a story.if u are Happy with your husband thats what is important. Go and talk to a professional person about your issues.

Your in-laws don’t have to like you there son does, always be polite and respectful, and don’t force the relationship with them if you are good with there son and he is happy in time they will come around and if not to bad for them. But just make sure he stand up for you and give you respect in front of them. Best of luck.

I am sorry for your loss. Forget his family. Heal yourself…then perhaps consider adoption. More than one way to become parents.

Our problem was a medical condition so we did the next best thing over time we did the next best thing WE ADOPTED a son first then a daughter couldn’t be happier they are the true loves of my life (side bar) many grandchildren

First I would just like to say sorry for your loss and all the negative things you have had to put up with. But the way I feel about this is that you should put yourself first its no good you been depressed and down over trying to please others it’s not nice at all. If your in law’s can’t accept you that’s there problem. Fuck them do what’s best for you :100: also I would like to say talk more about it my inbox always open. I’ve learnt speaking to someone always helps :100: when I was struggling x

I miscarried at 4 mo
My doctor explained not cry, the body knows when something is wrong. Try to see this experience as something that was positively going to be wrong. Tune into your body and take care of it. Exercise, pray, volunteer, try to move forward. I didn’t have children for years. One day I thought I was sick and was pregnant 5 mo. Lol
My first marriage was to an Ohioan and I’m Mexican.
They disliked me: southern, Mexican- Mexicans have dozens of children, Catholic, No children, and spoke two languages. His parents hated me. Divorced, lost everything. Married again to an older person who did not want children. Guess what? I had my two boys and a girl.

Try to tell yourself not to depend on them . It is not your fault you can’t get pregnant, snd even if you did, their actions would not change. It is their loss . I would move away so you snd your husband can have a happy life . You don’t need rejection. God loves you just the way you are ! Keep looking to Him .

Find some nice friends in the area where you live
Join walking clubs or crafting clubs
Get some treatment for your depression and try and speak to someone who has experienced the same as you
Put the in-laws out of your mind I don’t think they will ever change, not after all this time and you are lucky your husband doesn’t take notice of them as he could follow suit and treat you bad,
Treat yourself get your hair done put on a bit of makeup prepare nice meals
Think of nice things you could do to your home, maybe foster a child when you are sorted and give a child the love that you have inside you to help a child in need,
Forget about getting pregnant and you maybe surprised it may just happen
I wish you all the love and luck in the world for a happy future with the man you love xx

I confess I did not read all the comments. I am sorry for your loss. I never was able to have children so I understand a bit of your feelings. Regardless if you ever have a child naturally or adopt you and your husband must agree that his parents are toxic. I would not want them involved with my child if I had one. These are not good or kind people.
I hope you and your husband can find away to have a life without this toxic intervention . I do not believe in severing ties with family but if you can keep their involvement in your life to a minimum you will be better off. Find another interest to give your love and energy to. There are many organizations that need time, energy and love. Get involved in one and put your love and energy there. The rewards will be overwhelming and help you negate the influence of his parents. Best of luck to you!

If you want to be around kids then there a few things you can do. Adopt, foster, volunteer at a hospital, school, after school program. Do something beside just sit around and worry about the in- laws, who you aren’t going to make like you if they don’t want to. Focus on building your life, it could possibly relax you enough that you just discover one day, your pregnant. You have to make yourself happy, you can’t expect anyone else to do the job for you.

Similar situation with different reasons. Don’t let them rent anymore space on your head. If you want to be a parent, there’s more than one way. I had a scary, traumatic pregnancy with a loss of a twin. I then adopted and have 2 great kids. Doesn’t matter how you get there, it’s the same outcome. :slight_smile: focus on what is best for you and your husband. Honestly they may just be uncomfortable on what to say or do not understand so they avoid. Isn’t right but happens. Take each day and do something for yourself and your husband together as a couple. Hang in there!

The only person you need to worry about loving you is your husband. You are not there to please his family. You can’t have kids, and that is not your fault. It doesn’t mean that you can’t try to adopt a child if you and your husband choose to go that route. You and hubby just be happy. I wouldn’t stress over the in-laws. Sounds like you need to take a break from them. Stay away from them for a while. At least until you get yourself on track. And get yourself some counseling if you’re not already.

Do you babysit for your husbands brother any? Maybe that would help.they are his nieces or nephews.try to fit in.if that don’t work forget them.enjoy your life without them.

I am sorry about you losing your baby. But don’t be an azz kisser, tell your husband enough is enough. I have tried very hard to like my in -laws but I can’t take the way how they are treating me. There other child and husband get along just fine bcause they have kids.

You need to get to a psychiatrist or psychologist now. You need help dealing with all of this. It is too much.
You go before you break.
There is no shame in needing a doctor. Go now! You will not be sorry. Your husband might want to go, too.
Your in laws are missing out on all of your love. Shame on them. You take care of you.
Maybe when you and your hubby are back in a good place mentally you might want to think about moving away. Trying life in a new place. Maybe you have friends or cousins in another area of the country. It could make all the difference in your outlook. They can feel any way they want, when you aren’t there it won’t bother you.
Good luck. Find a doctor that is a good fit for you. It is well worth it. I know. I am here because I got the help I needed in time. :pray::blush::sparkling_heart:

It sounds to me that you have mental health issues that are deeply seated that you should deal with. You may not realize it but that well maybe the reason why your inlaws find it hard to be around you and may have nothing to do with you not having kids. One ectopic pregnancy doesn’t usually preclude another pregnancy. Have you seen a specialist. I would urge you to do that and also get professional counseling. I think that might make you feel stronger

Don’t dwell on your in-laws. We had 3 children. My in-laws didn’t come to her funeral. When we visited them they had pictures of all the other grandchildren around the house but none of our children. When my mother-in-law started sniping at me I stopped visiting. When she started on our daughter’s I stopped letting them visit. My husband visited by himself for awhile. I accompanied him to the funerals of his parents and sister. No one in his family came to my parents funerals . You can’t change some people. Love your husband and deal with your in-laws the best you can.

I would stop worrying about if they love you or not. It’s their loss. Worrying about that causes you stress and anxiety and ruins your day to day life when you have a loving husband and have a life of your own to live. Try to find happiness in your life that does not depend on whether or not you’re in-laws like you.

Maybe think about adopting so many children need a loving home and sod the in laws x

That is so Horrible. I’m so sorry for you and your husband. Have you gone to a specialist to see why you cannot get pregnant