My husband and I fell on hard times and had to move in with my in laws for a while… while i was working my in laws threw all of my daughters new toys outside in the pouring rain…when I got home and questioned them, they said they asked her to pick them up numerous times and she didnt…i am so annoyed because some of them were electronic and she just got them for her birthday (just turned 5) and now they are ruined…my daughter is gutted and I cannot even look at my in laws…they are still standing their ground over this because the toys " were in their way and she was not listening" i find this toxic…what do i even do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My in laws threw my daughters toys in the pouring rain - Mamas Uncut
Toxic AF. Nope. I would be out of there.
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Explain to your daughter that some people suck and it’s just for a little while longer. I’d find someone else to watch her and just keep her stuff in your area.
Teach your kid to pick up after their self. Problem solved.
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Get in to a homeless shelter with ur family and they will help you with section 8 hud low income housing
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That’s so cruel, she’s just turned 5?! I’d rather stay in a hostel
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Get out of their house and then stay out of their lives!!
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If go to a shelter or find elsewhere to live if they can’t respect your and your child’s property. There is other measures to take then damaging and destroying someone’s property. How would they felt if she threw their shit out in the yard? She’s a person too. Just because she is 5 doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings.
That’s is so sad! And lazy! If they could throw them outside, then they very well could have thrown them in a corner or toy box too! Have your husband confront them with it being from his stand point, not on your behalf! How dare they!!!
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Definitely a better way to reprimand a child than completely destroying her toys, shame on them.
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Ask them to pay for what was ruined. Their choice of discipline makes sense to take away the toys but NOT ruin them and cost you money. Do what to can to leave. They owe you and your child toys
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Ask them to replace the electronic toys, as it 8s their fault.
Although I do believe in listening. She is 5. Still growing and learning. Sounds like they have a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully you are able to find a new place to live soon.
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They need to pay to the stuff they broke ! That’s ridiculous they are not the parents and have no say on how you punish your child !
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I think a serious conversation with them. Clearly you are there because you have to be. People who are saying shelters - it’s not that easy to do. I tried and was turned down. Granted it’s “their house, their rules” but they are your kids. Both sets of parents need to make and set rules that are agreed upon by all.
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Very disrespectful on part of the grandparents. Move out ASAP.
If possible a shelter r domestic violence safe haven they should replace every toys destroyed n help ur daughter by showing her wat to do as far as cleaning up n putting toys away they sound spiteful to me like it mite be something deeper going on n they not speaking on it
Move out she does not want you there.
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Even when I get pissed at my kids and " throw the toys away" I never actually toss them… I’d be mad.
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Move out. Find shelters, other family/friend(s), hotel, contact local churches, etc. There are resources out there.
Throw their shit outside lol sorry I am petty like that. Or bring up the cost and ask for a way to pay to replace them. Maybe pawn some of their shit for it? Again petty but you don’t deserve that bullshit
Very toxic!! They need to replace some electronics if not all!! You need to stand your ground and find somewhere else to stay!! They seem useless and like the “power”! Your daughter will remember this and I wouldnt blame her if she didnt bother with them after you leave!!
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That’s toxic as hell. Get out now before they ruin your child. I get the point but they could’ve just put them in a different room
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It’s there house there rules, if you don’t like them move out
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Your best bet is to save up and get your own place.
They could have just put them in a trash bag and brought them out
For evryone saying move out. They are there because they couldn’t afford to live anywhere else.
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Here is the thing about living in someone else home, it’s there home. I would be mad but I would address the lack of Obedience with your kiddo and then ask if next time after they ask her to do something and she doesn’t, they come talk to you. I think it’s time to work out how to live somewhere else
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They would be replacing them. They could have just as easily picked them up and put them in a tote or trash bag and put them up until you got home and let you deal with it. Who does that to a child. Did they think those toys didn’t cost money in an economy that’s already crumbling. How disrespectful.
Everything you read in these times is “toxic.”
You are in their home. You should respect their boundaries as should your child. If she is five, she should know to pick up after herself. They are from the generation where children were taught respect and to actually listen because actions have consequences.
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I see both sides… they could of just removed them but she should do as she’s asked n clean them up , you’re living in their house if they ask for things to br done it should. Shes old enough to pick up her toys by far. Bur I completely feel your anger too . I do feel they are trying to over parent n go over your heads instead of coming to you with a issue 1st.
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They could have bagged them up and put them out of sight but teach her to pick up after herself or do the ‘2 toy rule’ only have 2 toys out at a time xx
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You use your head and leave for a domestic violence shelter with your kids- and let him stay w the abusing grandparents. This is a dangerous slope and your kids can be removed from you due to the grandparents abuse- I’ve seen it happen. You won’t be the first
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I mean maybe your 5 yr old needs to understand to pick up her toys?..
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And they couldn’t just bag them up like they already did but just put them up so she can’t play with them for how many ever days. Come on now. To literally ruin toys that cost money I’d be asking for money or for them to buy her toys. That’s messed up.
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Unfortunately our biggest lessons are usually painful
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Move. Free rent isn’t free.
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They could’ve gathered them and put them up so she couldn’t play with them for a while but that was bold . Sounds u should be trying to find a place soon
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That is sickening to do that to their grandchild 
My mom used to toss them out if we didn’t pick them.
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Jordan Gabrielle teach adults to react appropriately so children are better able to learn right from wrong and how to conduct themselves appropriately. What these grandparents did was toxic and not teaching anything other then to release frustration in a negative manner.
It was kind of harsh, but it’s their home and your daughter is old enough to mind. I mean it sounds like they also are babysitting. I would not start world war 3 over some toys. A hard lesson for your daughter to learn but now she knows, grandma and grandpa don’t play 
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I would say that you are her mother, you bought her items and next time let you know and YOU will punish her how you as her parent sees fit. You may be living in their home but that gives no right to destroy property. That’s exactly what they did. There’s a way to do stuff and there’s a way not. I’d be furious if Anyone took matters in there own hands with my child especially with their belongings that I bought.
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Take them to court. Even if nothing comes of it. It will be enough of an inconvenience to really irk them
There’s not much you can beings though you’re living in their home. Now I find it to be mean and extreme, however older folks don’t play when it comes to children not listening. So you’re stuck in an awkward position. Maybe you should keep your children’s toys in a specific area of the house. And you keep that area tidy. And/Or either make sure you or your husband is home with kids this way the grand parents won’t have to mind them. Unfortunately when you’re living under someone else’s roof you have to abide by their rules. Maybe you can have a sit down and come up with some ground rules so you’ll have a better understanding of their way of living and it’ll make your time there more comfortable.
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You are living in their home, it is imperative that you teach your kids to listen and be respectful. They were told to clean up and didn’t, what if one of the grandparents had trip over one if the toys and ended up hurt?!
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WOW!!! I have thrown toys away before, but they were MY kids. Move sweets…move ASAP
Dude she’s 5. Jesus Christ.
Normal people bag them up and put them away. Not deliberately destroy another property.
Anything in my way of theirs would be burned.
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Y’all saying move, forgetting she’s there cause they’re struggling right now.
It’ll be a cold day in hell before i ever agree to stay with in-laws especially.
Your husband is the one who needs to address this. He needs to get his crusty @ss parents together cause no!! 5yr olds don’t get treated this way. I’m sure you picked up after their raggedy son lots of times.
That’s another reason struggle love is not a thing. Can’t take care of his family financially nor emotionally sad.
THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT ARE THEY DOING WHEN NO OTHER ADULT IS AROUND BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
If they find that that’s okay to do to a 5yo child and their belongings, I wonder what other behaviour they think is okay?!?!?!?
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It is just toys…nothing that endangers the child. Though a hard lesson to learn, lessons HAVE to be taught. Bet she picks up next time. My brother learned as a kid not picking his outside toys up. My dad threw one in the fire and to this day we still laugh about it. He was not hurt, but he cleaned his mess after.
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To remedy the similar situation I was in, we kept the peace and moved out as soon as we could. Yes it’s toxic. My inlaw took a whole box of toys and put them away in the crawl space. We got them back 2 years later when they stored away Christmas stuff. It’s there house. Your hands are tied until you have your own place unfortunately
Eww. I wld have my husband handle it.
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I would off pack up my family moved out that day . Wot type of people do that to a 5 yrs kid . Thay are very nasty people who i wouldn’t want around my children. Thats for sure .
I see both side but my mom was the same way as me if I ask you to clean them up and you don’t I will clean them up but then they are gone rather I throw them away or put them away to where you think they got thrown away. But I will also give you 3 chances to clean them up
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My parents have done it.
Even at 5 yrs old.
Gotta teach them responsibility accountability and respect …the sooner the better . But… every one parents or lack there of …differently
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You teach your child to respect others homes and pick up her toys when she is asked.
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They should have put them in the basement not the rain
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Sometimes you just gotta bake them a pie!
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Their house their rules but to do that to a five year old is bullshit and I’d be moving even if it meant going to a hotel or buying a camper and living at an rv park.
Teach your child to mind and to pick up behind herself
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While I would be upset, I’m sure your daughter learned to pick her toys up. Lesson learned, for you and your daughter. You need to teach her to pick up after herself and she needs to learn to listen.
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She didn’t listen and they stood their ground 
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Why do all that? She would have learned a better lesson if they had took them away until she could follow directions. But now she seen if someone doesn’t listen ruin their things.
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They need to replace everything that was ruined. Yes she should’ve picked them up but 1 they are not her parents, they cannot make any decisions about her belongings and 2 doing that doesn’t teach her to pick them up, it only teaches her that her own grandparents don’t care. When my 5 year old doesn’t pick up her toys I bag them up and put them somewhere she can’t access.
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To take them away is one thing
To throw them outside in the rain and ruin them is on a level of crazy
If you want your own rules you need your own home
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Seems to me you have a duty to remove your daughter from that abuse. Period. Nothing else you can do.
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I agree with being firm at times however that was drastic
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This is exactly what would have happened in my house growing up if we didn’t pick up our toys.
Personally myself if you don’t pick up your toys (after being asked numerous times)they go into the donation bin cause you obviously don’t care about them or you would have picked them up when you were asked. Now they can do something to earn it back most of the time but if it’s been picked up 15 times and you still can’t pick it up… it’s gone to another home with kids who can respect their toys.
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Teach your daughter to clean up after herself. I’ve thrown away toys & I’ve made my kids throw away toys, if they had ANY meaning they wouldn’t be ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!! You & your family is a guest in someone’s home & you know what you do in your house IS NOT WHAT YOU DO IN SOME ONE ELSES HOME!!!
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Unfortunately, their house, their rules. While I find their reaction is harsh, and I would be devastated with their immature, extreme behavior, you don’t have the right to tell them how to behave. Your option is to leave. I understand the hard times… so it looks like you either have to deal or you can figure it out for you and your family.
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Yes they just should’ve put them away from her in the house and she could earn each toy back by doing some chores not just ruin them kind of teaches the child it’s OK just to destroy things and they have no value.
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Get the hell out of there and when you do, make sure that before you leave you ruin some of their costly things. They sound like a pair of heartless assholes
They owe you replacements. They can remove the toys from her reach but to destroy them was inexcusable.
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Yes seems wrong at the time. But… Their reason is to help show ownership. Pick up her stuff
That is very toxic and they don’t know a thing about children. You need to leave their house pronto. If you have vent filters out a session 8 application I’d start now. Better to be poor and happy.
Get out as soon as you can. I used to be a neat freek, but since I have grandkids everyday, I can live with the messes they make, it’s okay to want them to pick up there toys, but I always help them and show them. I would never throw their toys away that’s just plain mean. I think these grandparents are assholes, I bet they never play with them what a shame.
When mine where small, i told them to pick up thier toys, they wouldnt so i took a garbage bag and put the toys in the bag and put them away, they thought i tossed them but i didnt i stashed them in the closet and gave some back a few at a time
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Their house their rules …be happy they let you move in their home … clean after your kids if you don’t want people touching their stuff
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I’ve done the same to my daughter. She did not want to pick up her toys after many times of telling her to. I put them in a trash bag and threw them away.
I used to pick up all the toys and put them in a Trash bag making my kids think they were losing them to teach them a lesson. After they learned their lesson I’d give them back. There’s a difference between teaching a lesson and being a complete a-hole. This was an a-hole move to put them out in bad weather where they would be ruined. Taking them away, making them think the toys are gone- fine. Purposely ruining them on a 5 year old… a-holes
Throw something if there’s out in the rain. The carpet cleaner the coffee pot. Something that got in the way. See the response.
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you need to get out of there. That is toxic family and the quicker you can gt out of there the better … is there a way you can go and get help locally to get out of there ?? I would try to get out of there asap
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This is absurd. There was a better way to handle this. Their house their rules because it’s their property gives them the right to destroy someone else’s belongings that’s their property? Give me a break. That’s toxic, foolish and wasteful. Taking the toys away and holding them until further notice would have been appropriate. Sorry you have to deal with this. I don’t even know how I would handle it except to request that doesn’t happen again and voice how it should be handled since it’s your child.
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They took the energy to throw them why couldn’t they just put them up for a later time. Talk to you about her not doing what she’s asked of. Then give the stuff back.
Id be calling & asking the cops if theres anything you can do
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Everything on these posts are “TOXIC” 
Have a talk with the grandparents, I think they went way too far in throwing the toys out in the rain, if your kid wasn’t listening and refused to clean up they should have maybe took the toys off her an spoke to you about her cleaning up after herself, but you are living in their home, you and your child need to follow their rules, I understand your kids young but if they are looking after her an she won’t do as she’s been asked, there should be consequences, have a talk with your daughter about respecting other people’s homes and cleaning up after herself so she doesn’t get in trouble
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Reading these comments make me feel blessed to have grown up in the house that I did and it was 10 of us. My parents nor grandparents have never done such a thing. This was drastic and I’d be pissed if this was my child!
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I hate messes, I understand both sides.
Toxic in-laws. Get out.
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I agree with it being wrong. They could have easily put her toys in a bin and took them temporarily. That’s insane to throw BRAND NEW TOYS into the rain. It’s one thing for the parents who bought them to do it, not that I agree with it at all, but that’s your money being thrown out and you said y’all were on hard times. Don’t offer someone to live with you if it means you are going to treat them like they have no say over their own children. You aren’t being kind or nice, you are just taking advantage over someone who’s on hard times. Great way to create massive distrust and issues with your grandchild early on, she’ll remember it and that’s on them. Imagine being an adult and not putting your stuff away immediately because you got distracted or you were tired and someone just throws all your stuff away
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I do not understand why women move into their in laws if they don’t like them . I would never
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Oh no, how did your laptop get outside in the pouring rain? I mean if they want to be petty. 
Talk to them and try to get them to replace them
I would try to get my own place
Unreal toxic behavior- hope you can get the hell outta there soon 
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No way! I’d be fuming mad! That’s ridiculous! She is 5 and it isn’t their place to ruin her things and waste your money. They should replace them.
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Yes this may be toxic. Now had they picked them up and told her “your mom and dad will decide what to do from here” and expressed to you guys that this is an issue.
What steps would you have taken? If it would have been. She’s just a kid and let it go, or ok kiddo you are grounded off of those toys for two days. Or something similar. At age 5 she is very capable of putting away the current toy before pulling out another. Yeah. Kids leave stuff out. Surely they know that. But she can clean up a bit.
Um sounds like the in laws are more of a parent than you
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