My 4 day old will not stay asleep if I put her down. She can be sound asleep in my arms, the moment I lay her down she’s back up. Also with her milk, she just want to keep sipping on her bottle, fall asleep, wake up and want the bottle and she’ll do this all night. She has a doctors appointment and I don’t even know how I’m gonna get me and my other daughter ready, the baby won’t let me put her down long enough or she’ll start crying and screaming.
My son was the same but at 6 weeks. He ended up having an allergy to milk protein causing terrible acid reflux. This can only be diagnosed via stool sample. I wish you the best momma, it was horrible for me as well. Exhaustion is cruel. Sending hugs:heartpulse:
Definitely swaddle the baby, my daughter is 1 month old and sleeps so much better swaddled
She’ll be ok to cry for a few whole u get ready. If she’s fed changed and all that mess and thats the only time she does it is when u put her down it won’t hurt her at all…ik it can be rough but she’s only 4 days old she’ll settle out of that soon. Many are against it but at times letting them self soothe is the best as long as you’ve made sure the basics feeding changing burping and what not have been done. I have twin girls and when they were babies it was usually just me tending to them while their dad worked or slept…night shift…so often one would have to fuss until I finished with the other.
4 days old you are expecting a lot and my daughter didn’t sleep in her crib for six months she slept on our chest
Swaddling and wear baby. And it’s ok if she’s upset for a few minutes.
Try swaddle your baby since she’s a newborn and it’s okay if she cries a little, babies cry. She’ll probably like the car ride to the Dr’s office. Make sure you’re burping baby after you’re feeding her.
There are a few things you can try, and one thing to remember is that 4 days is…still brand new. Less than a week ago her entire world was snug, warm, dark and quiet except for your heartbeat/organs and voice. Now everything is different and that’s a whole lot of change; things that feel familiar to her will probably help.
First: my baby LOVED a good tight swaddle for the first 8-10 weeks. Our hospital stay was 2-3 days, and one of the nurses showed me how to do it right on the second day; it saved my sanity lol. She also made it obvious when she no longer wanted a full swaddle, but still wanted her torso and legs snugly wrapped with her arms free for another few weeks.
Second: you can put a shirt or something you’ve worn down with her. It’ll have your scent on it, which babies find very comforting.
Third: they make sound machines that mimic a mother’s heartbeat.
And lastly: when you lay her down, make sure to do it slowly and start with her feet. Then you can keep your hand on her chest for a few minutes, until you know she’s totally out.
I hope at least one of these helps! Mine is 18 months now but I remember those early days vividly – the hormones and sleep deprivation are no joke. Sending you all the positive energy and internet stranger hugs! <3
She’s 4 days old? Just needs time to adjust of course she wants to be held. It’s hard momma but this is how it goes unfortunately sometimes.
4 days old? Oh man, your baby was just in a warm place next to your heart listening to it beating. Now noises, the cry’s and it’s not as warm. Babies are gunna need to get used to the outside world. Just relax and hold the baby. Baby wearing is amazing. Swaddling can help too.
My 3rd daughter was like that. I finally listened to my mom. I swaddled her, put her in her car seat, put that next to me & rocked her. She thought she was being held so she slept great. I also learned to do the baby wearing thing. Good luck love. It gets easier. Hugs
Baby wear! Get a wrap and wrap her close to you. You will have both hands and she will sleep. She has been literally inside of you for 10 mos. She is onlu 4 days old, she still needs that closeness.
Burp baby after every 2 oz even in the middle of the night. Swaddling baby helps them feel more secure. If you don’t already have one, get a swing.
Crying is good for babies… let her cry… as long as you’ve checked everything off your list it could be… give her a few minutes and let her cry…it clears out the lungs and makes them stronger. She will have to get used to not being held all the time or you will never get any free time…
It’s rough, but you have to remember, she was just inside of your warm body for 9 months. It takes time.
Accept the chaos dear. That is your only option. The baby is going to run your life for a bit and you gotta go with the flow. When it’s time to get ready to go to the doctors you’re gonna have to baby wear her or put her down while you get ready.
I know you’re exhausted and it’s frustrating but 4 days old they don’t know what anything is yet. They should settle once they start to recognize their environment. Maybe they’ll enjoy being swaddled they have the ones with a pouch on the bottom for the feet and it velcroed shut which was great for quick diaper changes.
I let my baby fuss. Theres a difference between fussing and crying. And sometimes you just need to let them cry in order to get stuff done.
4 days old?!? She just got out of the womb! Hold that sweet baby as much as you can.
Get a swing. Tuck her in good like you snuggle her, lay one of your t-shirts with her. Might work.
It doesn’t hurt for them to cry. My daughter was like that at first. I put her on a bottle. Guess she didn’t like my milk. She was ok after that. No telling with one so young. Maybe she’s just getting use to things. Hang in mom. It’s worth it.
Swaddle and Put. That. Baby. Down. I promise she will adjust. You’re a mom, you will know the difference between an I need you cry and a cry to cry cry.
I have twins, I carried them all around everywhere. Now… they are 4 and expect me to carry them all around everywhere. Lol.
Birth is a trauma, not just for you but also for baby. Their entire existence, up until 4 days ago, was warm, wet, dark and quiet. Then they were sqeezed into a world that’s too cold, too hot, clothes are foreign, it’s bright and loud and there’s people passing them around, putting them down and they’ve never felt hunger so that’s new too, and all they want is warm mama and that familiar smell and heart beat and voice.
It’s okay to let them cry for a little bit out of necessity, or even if you get frustrated it’s okay to walk away for a few minutes and take a breather.
You can try baby wearing if that’s something that works for you, but know that very soon, too soon, you’ll long for the days she just wanted to sleep in your arms. This situation isn’t permanent, nothing is. Just try to remind yourself of that.
If your using a crib try a bassinet. My daughter was like that when she was a baby. Every time I put her in her crib she’d wake up crying but once I got a bassinet & put her in it she would stay asleep.
I think it’s a middle ground for me , when they are newborns they have to adjust some more then others , put baby down but dont take hand off , then sing or talk then remove hand but keep talking or singing , your baby needs mommy hold that baby .
White noise and a swaddling. My first and fourth were screamers too x
Sorry not sorry - I didn’t let my babies cry it out . I held them when they wanted to be held . Did the same for my grandbaby . They all turned out just fine .
Try doing a horseshoe with a soft fleece blanket to cuddle baby head and snuggle it. Our grandson was born preemie and wanted held all the time… this really helps!!
She is only 4 days. Takes time to work out schedules. Let her cry sometimes.
Unfortunately, this is completely normal. Baby just left your belly. Trying to adjust to what it’s like being born. Baby doesn’t even realize that you are not one anymore. It will take time and it’s definitely hard. Take people suggestions and find one that gives you the most time to do stuff and run with it. Eventually it will get easier. Hang in there momma
Our first wouldn’t let me put her down. The only way we could settle her was for me to walk up and down the hallway singing to her for hours at a time, and then when she was finally asleep if I tried to put her down we’d have to start the whole process over again. She wouldn’t even let me sit down on the couch and hold her, I had to be standing. It was exhausting, but eventually she got past it. Our second is the complete opposite and never had much trouble sorting himself out.
Give her some time. It’s hard, but you got this.
do you swaddle? use a sound machine? no one is going to expect you to look like a brand new woman after having a baby 4 days ago, mama. it’s going to be okay! instead of laying her in your arms to feed her, try using your hand to hold the back of her head and sit her up a little to feed her, that helped my baby stay awake a little better during feedings. As long as she is fed and has a clean diaper, it’s okay for her to cry for a few minutes while you tend to your other child or take a breather.
i hope this transition from 1 to 2 becomes easier for you
My granddaughter was allergic to milk protein only place she slept for any length of time was in her swing.
Prayers for your family AMENE
she’s 4 days old, feeding takes a lot of energy. She’ll probably fall asleep while eating for another week or so. and 4 days ago all she knew was the “white noise” of the womb and your heartbeat so it’s natural all she’s wants is for you to hold her.
you’re in the 4th trimester now. The first 3-4 months postpartum are hard.
she’ll be okay to cry while you get yourself and older child ready.
4 day old & your already running to the doctor Jesus Christ, shes a new baby give her bloody chance
swaddle? sound machine? swing? bouncy chair? - baby’s only 4 days old. give it some time
Set her in her bassinet .on her back no blanket…with a radio on .soft music. And just get ready quickly. Some crying will not hurt her and if you can’t tolerate that …for a short time
.then you better buy ear plugs.
Car seat in car .secure her and turn on the radio again to music…it should distract her!
My youngest was a crier. And at 4 days old I remember thinking I couldn’t do it alone.
A friend of mine taught me about baby wearing and it was a life saver for me.
I did swaddle him for sleep but he wasn’t much of a sleeper.
And to be honest, he is 4 and is on medication to regulate his sleep due to a medical condition.
So me letting him cry it out would’ve been a horrible idea.
You’re doing a great job. Newborns are hard.
You have held her nonstop for 9 months.
You should make sure that she doesn’t have an upset tummy or gas pains because that may be why she’s so fussy my brother was like this and made my poor parents crazy I really feel for you I would see if anyone’s able to come and help you to give you a little bit of a break for an hour or two or just kind of help rotate and holding and swaddling the baby now if you know there’s absolutely nothing wrong in baby’s been changed verbs isn’t sick or anything then just lay the baby down in a swing bassinet anywhere safe even if the baby cries if you know they’re safe and okay just let them cry for a little while and take care of you too
Baby wearing is a life saver. At four days old the poor thing is just trying to feel comforted and like someone is there for them. Allowing an infant to cry for extended periods of time could result in death. This young they are still learning to regulate their bodies in the outside world.
That’s how babies are. It’s an adjustment for them and you. Some babies don’t sleep long intervals for several months. If you’re concerned, speak to your pediatrician. Swaddling seems to help some babies.
Swaddle and hold them. Then lay them down when they sleep. If she doesn’t like swaddles you can try the arm drop test. When she passes out pick her hand up about 1” and see if she has reflex to move it. If it plops back down on her she’s totally knocked out and that’s the best time to lay her down. Anytime before that she may wake up. As she gets older you can lay her down sooner and she will adjust.
Heartbeat/nature sounds. My daughter could only fall asleep to the sound of rain/thunderstorms for the first 6 months. Now it’s jazz music (thank my mom for that lol)
I wouldn’t be laying them down with a bottle that young. Serious choking hazard and she needs to be burped after feeding. The gas in her belly is probably upsetting her.
I also used to take a swaddle and wear it around my neck/tuck in my bra. The smell of mom is a real comfort for newborns and can make all the difference for her. Maybe she doesn’t smell you nearby and panics. This did wonders for my daughters sleep who was colicky for the first 4 months.
4 days old is not old enough for either of you to have figured it out. Try to keep baby awake while feeding. No blankets and you kind of hold them out away from you like in line with your lap and not cuddled against you. If baby stays awake to finish a feed maybe they will sleep with a full belly.
At 4 days old you kind of have to follow the baby and what she wants.
Swaddle , fed , changed and if you are sure that she doesn’t have a tummy ache then you will probably have to let her cry while you get ready for the Drs.
If this keeps happening after a month old then you will have to let her cry to break it. Don’t let her cry to too long. When you put her down and she cries let her for 5 or 10 minutes then pick her up soothe her and put her back down and repeat. It’s had work on mom but after a few days it will get better.
Good luck and go easy on yourself I know it’s hard!
she is 4 days into not being inside her known safe space… it takes time to adjust. she’s new to this big cold world. she isn’t used to not having your body heat all the time. give her a break! it’ll get better.
Do you have one of those bouncy chair things? Start putting baby in that during the day and just bounce the chair.
My daughter would only settle, and sleep if she was in her chair. Obviously at night time I wouldn’t let her sleep in that, but during the day and stuff. It was a life saver.
Go buy a body pillow, put her blankets and sheets over it like a pillow case, sleep with it for a could days, your scent will rub off on them and then she’ll always be able to smell you.
Sit on the floor, cross legged, put baby in your lap with their head on your knee and their butt in your lap. and just bounce your leg a bit, that way you have your hands free to get your oldest baby ready.
welcome to newbornhood! Try swaddling
Try to feed the baby in only a diaper, and play with their feet, try to keep them up while feeding so they eat their full feed, burp well, then try to swaddle, get baby used to being put down even when awake. It’s ok to let baby fuss a little at this age but not full cry it out, as long as they are fed and changes and burped.
I couldn’t swaddle any of my babies they wouldn’t have it.
However have you tried putting one of your shirts that smell like you under her when you put her down?
I also told myself I would never baby wear but with my youngest I ended up having him in the sling on me almost all the time. It was the only way I was getting anything done.
Good luck mama! It just takes time to get into the swing of things, each baby is different.
It’s ok for her to cry while you get ready it won’t hurt her she has to get used to not being inside you
Holy moly. She’s four days old. She just came out of a warm bubble. Have a little patience. It’s shit like this that makes me worry about babies.
She probably has acid reflux. My daughter did.
Imagine being attached to someone all your life & now that person wants to separate them from you. She’s 4 days old. Give her time to adjust to this new environment she lives in.
Some things that may help is putting a heating pad in her bed while you’re feeding her. Remove it then lay baby down on a warm mattress. Just make sure it’s not to hot & never lay baby on the heating pad.
Fill a sock with rice & a couple drops of lavender EO. Microwave it for a minute. Lay that down next to her like it’s your arm. Again make sure it’s warm not hot.
Get your scent on her sheet. Put that on her bed.
My son had a “sleep sheep”. Idk if they still exist. That was a lifesaver. It played fetal sounds & other soothing sounds. It attached to the crib.
I held my baby when he needed me, but also set boundaries with my new baby. Yes it sounds ridiculous, but I knew I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. Shower was a big one for me. On days I had to shower I put him in the bassinet next to the shower and just let him cry. I’d rush. I’d make sure he wasn’t crying until the point of gagging. I’d make sure he was fed changed and warm before I got in. And I’d talk to him the whole time. My husband had to go right back to work so I was alone from the getgo pretty much. With 2, I’d definitely let the baby fuss/cry a little. Like when you get ready. Also check out Tula and lilliebaby. Best carriers I ever had.
No shit? That’s what babies do You’re probably not going to get a long, uninterrupted sleep from her for several months. If she won’t let you put her down, baby wear.
I must be old school because we didn’t swaddle. If they were fed, diaper changed, burped and not running a fever we let them cry. It doesn’t hurt them. Keeping picking them up and they have you wrapped around your little finger. As long as the Dr clears the baby as healthy let her cry. 4 weeks old is not to young to teach them you are the bosd
Do people not know what newborns do? Is this a joke post? Newborns eat every few hours