My hubs and I are at our wits end! Our kids are all 8 and younger and have this habit of destroying any toy we give them, as well as in the past kicking out windows in our house we rent that we’ve had to replace. There are areas in the house where they have peeled the wallpaper off the walls because they “wanted to see what would happen.”We’ve spoke to a child’s therapist and she doesn’t see anything within the home that would caused them to lash out, and that it’s possible just because our kids are rowdy and hyper naturally. And need more stimulation.We started doing more activities with them during the day and going out more etc, it’s been over two months now and they destroying of the house itself has stopped but they are still destroying every toy they have/get, to the point we have taken all the toys and such out of their room where they are left with practically nothing, it makes me and their father heartbroken that they can’t have nice things. They only get to play with a toy each at a time now and only when they are around us so we can make sure they don’t destroy them and I really wish we didn’t have to take the extra steps. Hubs and I want the world for our babies and it feels like we can’t give it to them because of their destructive behavior. Please don’t come on here bashing me either. Nobody can ever be harder on me than myself. I just need to see if there are similar stories and how the cycle was broke.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My kids destroy everything they touch: Help!
Maybe they need more discipline have you tried taking things away from them.? I went through it with my daughter and she’s 24 now.
at that age, honestly, playing should be with supervision. Oh, and I highly suggest you don’t give them expensive electronics unless they are heavily insured. There’s nothing wrong with one toy at a time with supervision—nothing at all. Many kids aren’t lucky enough to have even one toy these days, and a good majority have little to no supervision—and we know what that leads to. Coloring books are an option, and fairly easy to supervise.
Sounds like they want to know how things work, go to a thrift store and buy old elecroctronics they can take apart, phones etc. Give them things to build with.
Refuse to replace toys that they destroy.
They definitely just sound like they’re super curious about how things work
A good old fashioned butt whooping! And stop buying then toys and explain to them until they can be responsible they won’t get anymore toys.
Take all their toys lock them in a closet take all there electronics and lock them in the closet too. Put them outside and have them play in the dirt they can’t destroy the dirt
wack on their arse lol kids sound spoiled that’s why they are doing it and just don’t buy toys anymore simple
Did you ask them why they keep destroying their stuff?
I’m with you have 5 children and 11 grandchildren need to learn respect
You’ve said all this but no mention of consequences to what they do?
Do you replace the toys everytime they destroy them? If you do, it’s time to stop doing that. When all the toys are destroyed they will realize that they need to stop. Hope this helps this is the only thing I can think of.
I pray your situation changes soon. Dont be so hard on yourself. Youre trying to do what’s best for everyone involved.
Find a new therapist.
Omg… why do you allow this type of behavior ??? I don’t understand !!!
Do either of you know how to work on cars?? Maybe they should learn how to do that. Maybe an uncle or someone close to you could start teaching them how to work on cars.
Some of these comments show that most of you literally shouldn’t have children
Sound like u and dad need a sit down and tell them what is wrong then set a punishment for them and follow through maybe a spanking would be good if words don’t work…
It honestly sounds like a lack of discipline. If there’s no consequences for bad behavior then it will continue no matter whatever else you do.
Stop buying them toys and every time one gets broken throw it away. Maybe they’ll figure it out before there’s none left.
Girl, no. The problem is lack of discipline.
Let them break what they have and do not buy anymore until they can learn to take care of their things
It sounds more like you guys are upset that you can’t buy them things bc they destroy them. Stop buying them toys. Buy them things for outside (balls, shovels, digger trucks, buckets, etc). Take them outside as much as possible. I have 3 boys. They’re all fairly destructive at times. They do best when they’re outside honestly. They get destructive when they’re bored, so the longer they can be outside the better. Giving them the world doesn’t mean buying them the coolest newest toys. It’s giving them a happy and safe childhood that’s not super full of stress. And right now it’s stressful for you all. Take a breather, don’t worry about toys, and figure out other things to keep them busy
Just do not buy them expensive stuff until they are more mature and responsible, kids do not understand the value of the stuff and most of them play rough.
The next time they peels, broke , destroy ￼anything in the house just make them fix it themselves.
Spare the rod spoil the child.
My kids were hellions too.its OK.some of us know your pain my kids would destroy any toy I bought they’d knock holes in my wall wrestling,broke a couple windows with baseballs.i believe ADHD is a proper term.my kids couldn’t sit still they weren’t mistreated.it takes a lot out of you to have more than one.20 years ago I was alone with it.until I met a Dr who studies these kids.its a long road but worth it.
Get checked for adhd and autism. My kids are destructive due to adhd. We got a diagnoses and it changed our world.
They are curious it seems! Get used electronics and let them take stuff apart AND put it back together to see if they can make it work again! It’s a game to them and they will enjoy it.
Make them go outside and discover! Show them how to build a tree house supervise outside stuff just go outside I didnt have tons of toys so we went outside dug holes under bushes built stuff found cool forts lol I know that no so fun to kids but show them how fun it is. U dont need a ton of money to spend time out doors… maybe stay away from water if there are a lot of kiddios
Those hind ends would be lit…
Obviously lack of discipline. Take things away, give consequences. Spank them when needed. They have no respect.
Sounds like they need a Dr for ADHD. I have a feeling until that’s under control the behavior won’t stop. I’m assuming you’ve tried various punishments for them and nothing has worked? Are you staying Consistent? I’m sorry you’re going through this I’m sure it’s frustrating. I really think they need a Dr maybe they can suggest something for the behavior. Best of luck
A good ole fashioned whoopin might help
Structure with a schedule
Accountability… you destroy a window, you’re working to pay it off
I would take everything out of their rooms, minus a mattress and blanket. They can earn everything else back.
I wouldn’t buy them one more toy until they prove they deserve them. Any and all new toys they receive as gifts, I would donate to less fortunate children who would appreciate them.
Get their asses outside for yard work. You’re old enough to kick out a window, your ass is old enough to rake and pull weeds.
No tv or tablet time. None. At all.
Have you asked them why they destroy their things? I would consider not getting them anything until they can go a certain amount of time with being responsible with their things. If my kid were breaking her things, she wouldn’t get anything new
Don’t buy them anything…. Tell them to go play outside. If they can’t act right why give them gifts?
More stimulation? Kids are getting over stimulated. That why they have behavioral issues. They need discipline it sounds like. Start making them do daily chores and keeping the house clean. Rooms are a mess, no TV or treats.
So you spoke to a therapist but still haven’t put the kids in therapy…… maybe something outside the house is going on that you don’t know about or maybe your kids need a safe space to talk to someone about how they’re feeling and why they’re doing what they’re doing….
My son is the same way, he can’t have a toy in his hand for 5 minutes before he’s taken it apart. He is very curious & also careless. I would have stopped buying him new toys but he just goes after his siblings things. He will get into anything & everything if given the opportunity. I’ve thrown away so many toys & things that he’s taken apart or destroyed. Its almost exhausting having to be on top of him all the time. I dont really have an answer but I can relate.
Maybe give toys you can break and rebuild a try. There are take apart toy trucks and other things like that. Even Legos. That would stimulate their desire to break or destroy things. Also fidget toys might help. Good luck mama
It’s called discipline. Clearly they’ve never received any.
Stop getting them toys, take them away. Have a consequence for what they do. Maybe have them do chores for a broken toy. It’s hard to discipline but they won’t learn it’s wrong braking things.
I’ve learned my kids just wanted/needed attention I know it’s hard when you have more than one who wants to play with you. It can be extremely overwhelming, but maybe find board games they can all play with you!
Time to call Supernanny! Lol
Get them outside toys and send them outside!! Tire swing, basketballs, baseball and bat, send them out to play in the dirt-in turn, nothing gets broken. Some kids do better with that, than store bought toys. Plus it’ll make them burn off some energy playing and get them to use their imagination. On top of that, maybe they would have more appreciation when they do get nice things for birthdays/Christmas.
I believe it’s definitely lack of discipline but also… what are you feeding them? If it’s sugary snacks, drinks and junk all the time that will lead to some kids being overly hyper and “bouncing off the walls”.
Give them a good smack and no more toys. Send them outside to play
Take outside and maybe build tree house or fort with them
My kids do it too. Seems like they grow out of it around teen years
I’m from the South. I don’t think you want my advice.
I buy my kids toys to play with. What they do with them is on them.
I would try spanking them before I started loading them up with ADHD drugs.
Disapplin your dang kids. Spank then ground them… sounds like u just have no back bone and kiss there butt
When my kids were in a destructive stage I refused to replace or buy more until they started taking better care of things. Now they are older and it’s Xbox controllers… If they break it down to our 7 year old has to use his piggy bank and buy their own back. That has worked the best for me. Also is there any other medical reasons they could be so hyper? 2 of my kids are ADHD and on the spectrum so that also has a role to play. They have to go outside or do something physical at some point in their day or they get overstimulated as well.
Idk sounds like external influence or parenting. One child, maybe 2 is a stretch. But ALL of them? All destructive? All that “curious” that they have to absolutely demolish everything in sight or that they come in contact with? Talk to a therapist yourself and keep the kids seeing someone. This sounds like a story we’ll see on the news in 10 years. Anyone heard of the Menendez Brothers? Bever Brothers? Let’s go as far as Thompson and venables. Those were CHILDREN!! Nobody is born that way.
Y’all are rewarding them for bad behavior. That’s why they act the way they do, because they know you and their father aren’t gonna discipline them.
Send them outside to play in the dirt and run around!
I go though this with my girls manually my oldest shes 7 next month and has adhd and whooping dont work taking stuff dont work nothing seems to work I totally understand were your coming from its hard
My son would destroy water if that was distructable, it got so bad that even infront of me he would destroy them. It was hard to do but I stopped buying him toys and anything nice until he stopped his distrucive behavior as well as him seeing a therapist for his brutal behavior. Long story short he now takes pride in his things as well keeps his room clean
If they don’t have consequences for being destructive then you are enabling to not respect you and your husband. Lay the law down. Have a back bone cuz if you don’t do it now, they are gonna run all over you guys! Good luck!
I would seek input from a professional. There can be many reasons for these behaviors. OT is a great tool for sensory regulation and communication skills, and so is therapy. It won’t be a quick fix but I think it would definitely help.
So my twin toddlers (2) do this sometimes when they are over stimulated. We had to switch to softer foam type toys or like bath type toys for our kiddos. My oldest (7) is very self sufficient. But our twins are tiny wildfires rampaging through our house. They might be overstimulated and raging out is their way of release. Talk to them eye to eye level and see if they will let loose of what is wrong.
Get them toys they can build and take apart again.
I’m in the exact same boat. 3 boys, 8 and younger, broken windows, taking toys. You’re not alone.
Outside time tire them out get them a trampoline with safety net
My 6yo son needs almost constant stimulation and direction from us. He is pretty destructive if we aren’t attentive. He has a ton of energy and is a new big brother. He really wants attention and needs to keep busy. We utilize alarms on our phones to keep him on task and keeping his ears open for the next thing he needs to do. My husband often takes him in the backyard to jump on the trampoline, hit balls, and just play while I keep eyes on the baby. Gotta look a little deeper sometimes.
A lot of kids are like this boys break girls stripe everything naked but where you see destructiveness they might be curious to how things work my son was like that and now he’s really good at electrical and mechanical things, I have a brother that used to tear apart all our bikes and now he has a great job and makes great money, but I hope it gets better for you I know how frustrating it can be…
My son does things too he’s 8 and he’s broken windows in his room his sister’s room he’s scratched his dad’s Nintendo switch screen he’s always doing things and when asked why he said “I don’t know” but he has ADHD and he takes meds for it and that helps a lot when he’s on it (not saying your kids have ADHD as I’m not a Dr but maybe get them checked just in case)
Also for anyone that sees I medicate my son for ADHD don’t come for me I know what works in my home vs what may not work in yours
But sending you hugs mama you will get through this I promise also maybe take some time to give each one of your children some time with you and or dad y’all take turns giving undivided attention to each one that maybe also what is causing it maybe they feel like mom or dad isn’t spending as much time with just me like the others
I have the same issues with my kids. They destroy, break and draw on everything. I’ve gone through my house once because I got tired of them drawing on everything but my oldest is in school and so she has to have crayons, coloring pencils, etc. for school work and she sneaks them and hides them so they can continue it. To everyone saying it’s lack of discipline, idk about original poster but I’ve tried every discipline you can think of from whoopings, to time out, to cleaning the whole house including floors on their hands and knees, taking stuff away, throwing away their belongings, sitting down and talking to them about how their behavior affects me both mentally and financially, I’ve had their dad and his girlfriend talk to them, I’ve taken them to therapists, and they still act this way. So idk if someone has some other type of punishment to try, lmk because my kids just don’t care.
Edit to add they do get to go outside and I’ve also tried activities and even researched why kids draw on walls and it said something about hand eye coordination and that drawing at that angle is easier so I got them a marker board for their wall and they just drew on the wall around it.
Darcey Rae Hutchinson same…after reading the first sentence, my kids destroy everything…kick their fkn ass
I would rule out anything medical first, like ADHD or anything like that but I 100% believe this comes down to parenting. They don’t break a toy in one second, so it sounds like they have a lot of unsupervised time. You and your husband probably are not spending enough time with them quality wise.￼ Play with them instead of just giving them toys to play with. until they can learn to treat their toys with respect, I wouldn’t be buying them new toys.￼￼ if they still aren’t treating their things with respect and it’s birthday time or Christmas time or any other time that they would get a present, gift them an experience rather than a toy or gift and things like board games that you have to do as a family. They can still have fun but they can’t do is ruin things. You are the parents, it’s time to parent
Yeah…I just had to close my eyes until recently bc my kids destroyed everything as well. Even going months without a Switch doesn’t seem to have taught my youngest (7 yo) anything, as he still slams his new one down when frustrated. To the point I’ve just ordered a new screen cover bc his last was so shattered it finally fell off. And he is such a soft hearted child who literally cries on the rare occasion when he does something wrong (other than accidentally breaking things) and has to be corrected. He got a yellow on his behavior chart in school yesterday and came home crying and hiding his face for like 2 hours bc it’s the first time he’s ever not had perfect behavior. My oldest is 11 and has grown out of it for the most part by now. They’re still really really hard on our couches and every thing else. We go through a new couch every year or 2. I think boys are more rough than girls, but I know I was hard on things growing up too bc I remember my parents talking about it lol. People saying send them outside to play - mine will literally tear stuff up outside too. We got them a trampoline to jump on outside that’s helped a little, but not as much as you’d think. I think constant supervision and consequences are the most important things here, but it gets really tiring to ALWAYS be fussing at your kids too if you have wild ones. There are some high spirited kid groups I’m in that sort of deal with this kind of thing. It can kind of oversimplifies things somewhat by explaining there are kids who are unicorns and some who are dragons. And dragons just require so much more than unicorns. It’s not that you’re a bad parent, they just need more from you in every aspect.
Are they held accountable??? It is it is ok go do something else kind of environment?? My mom had a belt she used in my butt (didn’t hurt I laughed) but the threat wait til your dad gets home was a real deal!! Kept my butt for the most part being good. And if you are one of those that don’t believe in that have you taken away something that means some thing to them for a while?? Or made them sit some where like a corner or in a chair where they can’t do anything??
I agree with others saying that it sounds like a lack of discipline. If they destroy a toy (on purpose) make them throw it away and don’t replace it. If they are destroying the house they need grounded or something of that nature. By grounding I mean take everything away from them. Kicking out windows and peeling wallpaper is not normal behavior. My kids were hard on toys and often broke them, when they were little, (that’s normal) but they didn’t do it on purpose and they certainly didn’t kick out windows and things like that. They might’ve colored on a cpl walls but they were disciplined for it.
My sons are six and both have ADHD and would behave like this if I took a eyes off of them. ￼ my best recommendations would be for you and your husband to take shifts watching him so that the other has a break. I know it’s soul sucking because, certain age kids should be able to be independent but if you want to keep your stuff chances are good at high-level of supervision with someone constantly correcting them might help. It will also keep them safe. ￼￼ as someone else recommended I would also have them a valuated by a behavioral pediatrician or psychologist. Good luck ￼
I see we want to GIVE them the world. Children do not care about things. They care about time and energy spent with them. Teaching them HOW to use those toys. Mine are 1,3,5,12 and my two boys (3/5) will LITERALLY destroy everything if we let them. I’ll stand there for an hour while you throw your fit and sit and time out. And then once you’ve successfully complete a full time out without freaking the hell out. THEN you may have the privalege of cleaning up the toys that some other kids would love. Actually you know what… lets donate them. IM Packing them up NOW and we will all drive them to get dropped off to kids who will NOT destroy them. I do timeouts right IN the store. I dont hit. I dont freak out. (Well mostly, i AM HUMAN ) Be calm and patient and always make sure they know how your feeling. Maybe ask them how they are feeling? I dont think its their fault though. Kids need to be engaged and learning.
Well my kids used to break everything. They would break each others stuff, household, mine. So one day I took their most prized possessions and smashed them Infront of them. Haven’t had anything broken again since then.
Do not “whip their butts”. (That’s abusive behavior). They are over stimulated, take them outside and take a calming walk. It’s also normal to have a destructive stage as children are highly curious. But do not spank them.
I think this is pretty normal behavior. Especially for boys! Just don’t spend a lot of money on toys and send them outside to play when they’re at their peak energy during the day. Legos are virtually indestructible and great option even if they just build something only to smash it down afterwards!
Building blocks or legos (if age safe) could be a safe alternative. Or the toy cars that you can build and take apart. It sounds like you are doing all that you can to handle the issue. You are teaching them a valuable lesson about respecting things around them, and you HAVE made improvement since you said yourself that they stopped destroying the house. Continue the teaching lesson that if they can respect their toy, they can keep it. If they are good to another toy, they can keep it. You got this!!
Maybe it’s not just ADHD. Maybe they have ODD to. I started making my one destructive child pay for replacements. It has somewhat helped.
They says boys wreak ur house girls wreak ur head lol
Get a second opinion or get a referral from your pediatrician and get them tested for adhd and and maybe let them be outside a lot more or get them in sports. Implement maybe a reward chart with cool stickers and set small goals for them per week that has to do with their negative action’s and give them something they really want as a reward.
I always say. My house is where toys come to die. My kids played and play rough with their toys. I buy some new toys but I mostly buy them at goodwill or Facebook market place. That way I don’t spend a ton of money on them.
Maybe they have to much stuff? And going out and doing things and running them down will help all out now you teach them if they destroy a toy they don’t get a new one
Kids will literally play with sticks mud etc
Quit wasting your time and energy then and stop buying them things they’re obviously not caring about as much as you guys. As far as curiosity (wall paper) that’s normal but alter your discipline for the level of seriousness and stick to it. Windows. I don’t see how that happened honestly if the oldest is only 8 that would be a huge talk and big discipline.
Your children’s disciplines might feel different to each kid too it’s important to see what works for them and what doesn’t for example my 6 year old always did time outs because a spank he didn’t care well that ended at 5
He loves time out now and so now I had to change the way time out looks and feels and I had to bring back a spank for serious problems and I pull his pants down (at least it’s been threatened he’s scared of THAT bare butt so he actually hasn’t received one yet which is my point)
Stop. Buying. Toys.
If you do, buy them at goodwill
Going thru it now with great grandkids who live with me and their mother. In behavioral therapy so far no improvement. I feel for you but you are not alone
Buy different toys. My son was hyperactive and broke toys…wanted to see how they worked rather than deliberate destruction but very annoying just the same…I found outside play tired him out and buying lego or other building type toys was much better for him. He is now an adult and still cant sit still but incredibly good with his hands.
Spank them . Show them you are the parents.
Welcome to parenthood.
Have you had your kids tested for anything? I would maybe get another doctors opinion. My son breaks EVERY thing, not even on purpose. Sometimes he’s trying to figure out how something works, or doing something on his own and he ends up breaking a multitude of things. Granted there have been times where something has set him off and he breaks it on purpose.
We’ve literally compared him to Stanley off of SpongeBob. He was diagnosed with a multitude of things I’d be more than happy to message you about, or you can privately message me if you see my comment? But if you and hubby think of your sons as maybe sometimes as SpongeBobs Stanley, it never hurts to maybe get a second doctor or therapist decision!
And maybe they do just need more guidance, discipline and routine like some say. But honestly…. beating the fuck out of your children isn’t always going to fix the issue especially if there are underlying issues at hand. Everyone thinks spanking is a 360 solution, and it’s not hahaha.
Some kids are more destructive. If they break all their toys I suggest buying toys from thrift shops until this habit stops. Don’t buy brand new items until they can respect what they have. I agree in not allowing electronics at all at this point. Maybe see into finding fidget toys (not foam or slime filled ones) to occupy their hands Some. Go outside and kick a ball but emphasize no balls in the house. Maybe set up a chore chart? My kids tend to be gentler on items they work for and earn.
Only thing in the rooms would be the Tv bed and the dresser and those can be removed as well
I would tell you what to do but I don’t want to end up in Facebook jail again!!
Internally I lose my shit when my son breaks something on purpose. Outwardly. I share my frustration “I got that for you to how he’s supposed to use it and now you broke it. If I can’t fix it, it’s going to be garbage and that makes me sad.” Usually I can fix it and i tell him just because I can fix it does not mean that’s a way we use the toy.
Yeah I would make them run miles they would all be track stars if they were my kids.￼￼
Are there any consequences when they destroy things? If not, maybe there needs to be. They need to realize that their actions have consequences especially if there are older (5+) doing this behavior too. Playing outside is a good suggestion and if you can afford it try adding some games too. Blowing bubbles is also fun and my daughter loved to chase the bubbles when she was little. Walmart has some good options for games to play outside with kids that aren’t terribly expensive.
It sounds crazy,
But they probably need more attention and one on one time. And this isn’t me judging at all. It’s just helped with us on a similar situation. My kids ended up ruining a lot of their toys by dumping something that stuck to all of them in their toy box. So I helped them get rid of them. They went a week without, and then we slowly got them new toys. We also began bringing them out more places and spent more time out or doing things together. We pray together more.