My kids dislike my exes new girlfriend due to the fact that she is always drinking: Advice?

Does she mistreat them because of her drinking?

Why is your ex who is not their father spending time with the children?

Sounds like you don’t like it and they are listening to you.

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Then stop allowing them to be around her?

Good lord I could’ve written this myself. No advice but chin up

Absolutely nothing but mind your business and pray your children are safe.:woman_shrugging:t4:

I think ur kids are just trying to show their loyalty to you by making up reasons to hate the new woman. Honestly she’s a grown woman and if she wants to drink that’s her prerogative. You haven’t mentioned anything about her behaving badly because of the drinking. I think it’s YOUR job as mum to tell them to stop being so judgemental and to talk to them honestly about how both u and their dad will be dating and spending time with other people. I feel bad for this lady a little! It’s hard enough dating a man with kids but to have them hating on u for no reason what so ever…well that just sucks! Time to reign it in momma.

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Stop letting them go over there. They aren’t his kids, They don’t like to, he acts like a child and she’s always drinking. Not sure why you don’t know what to do lol

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If they don’t like it they don’t have to go… they are your kids n all.

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Grown. Ass. Lady.
Kids.
Stay in their place.

Be honest
But also know you can not control how others live their lives

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He’s not biological so he doesn’t have rights unless you have a custody agreement. Meaning you don’t have to let them go with him. If he asks why, tell him.

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This is like a bad Jerry Springer episode…how old are your kids? Sounds like the mom has influenced the kids judgement by constantly badmouthing the new girlfriend in from of them… regardless this is in no way a healthy environment for the kids…all 3 “adults” need to get together and work out their issues/concerns ect…

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I am appalled by how many ppl are saying to just “cut ties” w him because they’re not biologically his. My daughters father isn’t biologically hers, but has been the one who raised and supported her over the last 8 years, so any of you saying that… are just ridiculous. I would def be sitting down w said woman and telling her my kids feel uncomfortable.

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I would talk to him about it. He should respect how you feel and discuss it with her. However, unless she’s becoming visibly intoxicated, I think you may be overreacting. If you’re going to continue to let him see them, you also need to respect his decisions in whom he decides to hang out with.

Having a couple of glasses of wine with dinner is one thing but getting wasted is another.

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My daughter is 10, I get the stink eye whenever I drink. Doesn’t sound like she’s getting wasted in front of them? I think it’s great he is still there for you’re children. I would have a conversation with him and you’re kids. I’m guessing they aren’t used to being around adults who drink? I wouldn’t end the visits, y’all just need to come to a solution so everyone is comfortable.

If THE KIDS are uncomfortable then tell him. If he acts childish about it let him know the kids won’t be around until he can act like an adult. I’m assuming this situation is that they only know this person as their daddy. So he should be DADDY and take care of the situation out of the respect for HIS KIDS. I’m honestly disappointed in half you women commenting saying “she is an adult she can do whatever she wants”, sounds like when your children start drinking or doing drugs you’ll be the enabler because “they can do what they want they’re an adult”. Ignorant ass people.

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I dont see an issue with an adult having A drink with dinner & would probably explain to the kids that adults can drink different things than kids.
However, getting drunk is different. That would change the way she acts before and after drinking (explanation for kids, not for you). You might want to ask them if they have any ideas how ppl could change when they drink or give some options if they dont know.

That said, since it sounds like he has no legal right to children you can put boundaries in place and take away visitation or visitation without you if he wont conform

She is an adult & can drink. As long as she’s not behaving inappropriately in front of the kids or drinking and driving, who cares?? If they don’t like her then they need to say something. If not, don’t let them go over there? I mean :woman_shrugging:t3:

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My baby (10 years old) also stays a lot with my ex, who is also not her father. I would suggest talking to him and letting him know that it makes the kids uncomfortable. My ex loves my baby enough to either put a stop to it or just stop seeing that girl altogether.
It’s amazing to have an ex like that! I pray everything works out for u :pray:t2:

Having a drink or two when out for dinner is different then a raging alcoholic and we don’t know which one the new significant other is. Is she abusive to them after she’s been drinking? Does she neglect them in anyways? Those would be a concern more then her having a drink or two at dinner. Also your kids are so lucky to have someone who wants to be there for them even though he doesn’t have to be. If there’s a concern then do the adult thing and discuss it with him.

If they aren’t his, don’t let them go if she’s there.

Where’s the daddy in all of this? So if you get into another relationship you’ll have another step daddy for your kids. How many step daddies do you need? It may sound harsh but focus on your kids not your exes personal life.

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Ok I get all the people saying tell the kids to be quiet ect…she’s an adult ect…so you’d be ok with an adult drinking because they can…then getting in the car and drive with YOUR children in the car…or falling asleep and something happens because they were unsupervised…there are many things that can go wrong if someone is under the influence while watching children…smh unreal… maybe the kids real father was a drinker n abusive ect…I mean hell get all the information before blasting kids lol judgement much…lol

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Soooo the kids are worried about insulting HIM over being uncomfortable of her drinking at dinner?
This seems…. Odd.
If they refuse to see him and he asks then they can kindly and respectfully say it makes them uncomfortable with her drinking around them and they would prefer to see him solo… or enjoy seeing her too but with zero alcohol.
Kids can set boundaries too.
What reason do they give for the alcohol being an issue? Is she drunk? Making a scene? It’s new for them? She rude? :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Um. Tell him your kids aren’t going to be around a drunk. It’s that simple.

I would be concerned about my kids being around what appears to be an alcoholic.

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Don’t expose them. Talk to him and maybe plan for times she isn’t around unless she agrees to be sober for the visitation.

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Have they told you why they don’t like it when she drinks? I would sit them down and ask the reason they don’t feel comfortable, might be something as simple as it is an excuse and just don’t want him with someone new, in that case tell them it is OK to feel this way but you and him are just friends now and you are happy for him, but if it is something like she is a mean drunk/drinker I would definitely say something to him about it and explain to him why even tho you know it is her right to do so,you and the kids prefer if she waited till they where not around to drink! Hopefully he will.respect that and ask her not to drink around them, if he doesn’t tell him she isn’t allowed around them for visits :woman_shrugging: but it might be the first because obviously they love him and want to be around him and just wish you where still together

I don’t wanna assume….but is it really the kids who have an issue or is that you? :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Sometimes you have to be the voice for your children and don’t feel bad for doing so!

Unless she’s getting shit faced at each meal or trying to drive them somewhere, that’s not a child’s business. It sounds to me like they just want to find a reason not to like her. Maybe they want you and your ex to get back together and they think it’ll work?

If shes not mistreating the kids, and the kids are being cared for and safe their opinions dont matter on what adults do. If you feel your children being around things they dislike a problem then stop sending them over to the guys place. Hes not their father so he has no legal rights it sounds like. You cant tell him not to be with his gf. But you can control if your kids go over.

I drink with every dinner I pay for.
“He will not be happy & act like a child” your children are literal CHILDREN & they should be the ones acting like it.
As long as she’s not abusing them there is no issue & they should have no control over her life or her choices

Is it because she’s getting drunk and behaving stupid or is it just her having a drink with a meal?? There is a massive difference and if she’s just having a drink with a meal you should be explaining to your kids that she’s doing nothing wrong and as an adult it’s perfect okay for her to do that??

These comments are weird they may not be biological his but he may have raised them we shouldn’t be saying a negative about that since he took a roll he didn’t have to take. But he has a right to see whoever he wants, is she being abusive in anyway, I get their uncomfortable but she a grown ass adult and can drink if she want maybe talk to maybe she can have it to where she isn’t wasted till after they asleep or something

I would speak to my ex and ask if there’s any way they can refrain from drinking in front of the kids. I’m sure they don’t have the kids a lot so that leaves the majority of the time for them to drink. I don’t drink in front of my kids and I have them full time. It’s not the end of the world. They could even just wait until they go to bed if it’s that big of a deal, but if it’s that big of a deal I would worry that there’s some alcoholism going on.

Who tf cares if a woman wants to have a drink?
Sorry but noone OR their kids is deciding when i have a drink or anything else.
Let him go hun.
Sorry but you sound kinda jealous🤷‍♀️

I think it depends if she’s getting wasted, and having a simple drink. If she was getting poopfaced in front of them every visit, I’d have a problem. If it was just a drink at dinner, ehhh, maybe ask her if she can do that a different time but definitely not make it a big issue.

Leave this alone. Anything you do is going to seem hostile. The kids will form their own opinions without your input or influence.Having a drink with dinner is not inappropriate behavior. Keep the family peace.

Can I ask has there been am alcoholic in your life so this triggers your children. I know this happens with mine as my mom suffers with alcoholism. So my children used to be bothered with me even drinking wine. We had to have alot of conversation about what an alcoholic was and what an occasional drink is.

This just seems pretty petty. Idk.

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If she drinks a lot that’s automatically a red flag for me… she could be drunk and do something that hurts those babies … I would go to cps and ask them and tell them how them babies feel. They shouldn’t have to be around her if they don’t want to be!

This just sounds like some BS to me… if you don’t like the new gf just say that don’t use excuses

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They’re not his kids. He has no rights. Tell him to fix the situation or cut him off. It’s that simple. If he gives a shit about the kids, he will fix it. If not, his loss.

If they’re not biologically his you don’t have to do shit keeps your kids away! If he asks why tell him and if he chooses not to change it he doesn’t actually care he’s just “being there” for your kids to keep you on a hook!

I’m sorry but she can drink what she wants as long as she does not get drunk I call BS

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Stop letting your kids go with this guy.

Stop letting them go over there since he’s not the bio dad :woman_shrugging:t2:

The mother , is wanting the relationship so she doesn’t want to cut ties?

Maybe don’t send your kids there. Also who he dates is not your business so let him be.

I’m a bonus mom of 4 bio mom of 2 and 2 heavenly children! My husband works out of town and we have four of the 6 kids full time! You better believe that after super every night I drink! He is out of town four days a week! If we got out he drives yes ma’am I’m drinking if I drive then absolutely not I won’t drink! But if I’m home and ain’t got nothing to do but put my kids to bed then yup I’m drinking

It’s really not your business tbh. They aren’t his kids and he really isn’t obligated to even take them to dinner.
Having a drink with a meal isn’t a bad thing.
Sounds like you are questioning your kids trying to find something bad about her cause you’re salty af about her

Why do the kids care? Shouldn’t be a child’s decision weather an adult drinks or not as long as she isn’t belugerant or abusive.

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Tell him the truth
If he can’t except the truth
Than ur children either must except it because they want to be with your ex-boyfriend
Or they can choose not to go
Should he not willing to talk to her
Is she a completely changed person because she drinks
Or is it because she simply wants to have a few drinks
U didn’t clarify much about that part
So to judge I can’t
Not my place to judge her if she’s not acting completely out of character

This woman is an adult and dont need to cater to anyone the kids dont make the rules

Ppl drink qhi cares cant control it so they need to suck it up

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If she’s not becoming belligerent, violent or driving it’s a non issue.

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This is ridiculous. Just because if they go for a meal or something and she might have a drink or 2 that doesn’t make her bad. It’s not like she’s off her head taking care of them! I think you need to talk to your kids about how they might be over reacting and how they need to give her a chance. They’re not even his kids, he obviously loves them and has some attachment to them which is good…to be honest I think you’re just looking for any reason not to like her

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They aren’t his kids. Mind your business.

Sit down with both the ex and the kids. It says more that they don’t feel comfortable enough with him to be honest about the situation.

A drink at a restaurant?! Somebody should launch this animal 500 miles away from any children

If she’s over 21 she can drink when and where she wants :woman_shrugging:t4:

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As long as the kids aren’t in harms way… tell them to mind their business :+1:t2: problem solved

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Twll him and the new girl that its makon kids uncomfortable

If they’re nor his kids thrn they don’t need to see him

Stop bringing your kids over he is not the father make it make sense lawd :roll_eyes:

He is not their Father, so stop making the kids visit him.:woman_shrugging:

What can I do…:woman_facepalming: Its not their dad so you can stop letting them go/ letting him take them!

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They’re not his kids but you let him see them regularly, and complain about his gf? What. :woman_facepalming:t4:

Wtf…is this even a question. There not his kids, fuck em and fuck his gf, your kids dont need to see him!! End of story.

I think this is more you don’t like her or what she does and it’s rubbing off on your children…. Can tell by the way it’s worded that you just don’t like her . GROW UP

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Unless she is acting in an inappropriate or harmful way towards your children when she drinks, your children (and you) should mind your own business. It sounds like you are projecting YOUR dislike of the new girlfriend on to your children and that’s pretty cringy, imo.

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Sounds like bio mom is jealous an asking her kids too many questions lol having a drink with dinner or a drink at home is not bad. Unless the gf is getting wasted an doing questionable things i see zero issues with it

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There’s definitely more to the story. Why do the kids dislike drinking? As long as she isn’t a drunk asshole i don’t see the issue

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Unless she’s acting up i need these kids to stay in a childs place n mind their business. She might need a drink to tolerate these nosy ass kids .

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Jesus they are children! They are allowed to feel damn uncomfortable fuck sakes. There are plenty of children who don’t like it. If my child told me she didn’t like the drinking even if it’s a small bit I don’t give a fuck, my child’s feelings are more fucking important if I explain to her that it’s just a drink for adults

Ok well, not to be rude but he’s not their father so be glad that he even wants to be apart of their life. If you don’t like her drinking around your kids then don’t take them over there anymore. He shouldn’t have to change his lifestyle with his new women​:roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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You need to tell tour kids to mind there own. Unless shes being a belligerent bitch she can have alcohol whenever as long as its not making her a bitch to them.
I mean she could be doing crack soooo.

Simple don’t let them go with him. Keep them away! It’s not like they’re his kids. (We’re they have to go)If they feel uncomfortable then keep them safe with you! Let him go!

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All the females on her bitching about they aren’t his kids, blag blah blah. Yall keep that same energy when someone wants to be a step parent to your kids, and complaining about someone else. Specially if they could be all they know. Damned if the man does, and damned if he doesn’t. :roll_eyes:

I think mom is grilling the kids for info and mom’s the one who don’t like what she hears. Reading between the lines here…

Excessive drinking shouldn’t be done in front of kids. It makes them uncomfortable & you as a parent needs to communicate with your ex about it.

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Your kids shouldn’t be around that period, let alone be with someone that ain’t even their father🙄girl time to make some changes, make moves for u n ur kids only n leave all that bulshit behind, who knows what goes on behind closed doors!come on mama, not tryna bash u here but u should already know the deal! If u love ur kids then move forward n don’t involve yourselves in that mess!!!

Sounds more of a mother jealousy problem to me. I’m sure the kids may have mentioned it to you and you ran with it. A drink with dinner hurts no one if she isn’t driving them home. You definitely sounds bitter

If you as their mother don’t approve with his choice in a woman,cut ties with them. He’s not their biological father you can take your kids and roll anytime if you don’t like his new lifestyle. You have NO OBLIGATIONS to this man when it comes to your kids and he has none to you or your children…

My son is like this but with his dad he drinks alot so if my son is with him and he starts he calls me and i pick him up my son has told his dad he dont want him drinking in front of him but his dad is a pos so he dont care and he has tried to be rough with my son drunk so there is alot more to it… so the point of this is if u want him to see the kids and she getting stupid drunk in front of them have them call u and get them …

Seems like you are probably the one who has some issues with him moving on honestly :woman_shrugging:t3: I also have a few drinks everyday because I am an adult and it helps you relax.

If there not his kids & he sees them just be thankful as long as him or her don’t harm them its okay! Just putting my 2 cents in it, take it or leave it :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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Mind your own business. She isn’t driving your kids drunk. You sound jealous and controlling. She is an adult. Get over it

Kids need to stay in they lane, as long as she acts proper while drinking, it shouldnt be anyone’s concern, specially kids

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You said when they go for meals she always gets alcohol. Not gets drunk all the time with your kids there…she has a drink(s) at a restaurant. Sounds like maybe you questioned your kids or maybe they mentioned it in passing and now you’re latching on to that to make her sound bad because you’re jealous. Honestly if I was her I wouldn’t want my ex gfs kids around who aren’t even biologically his so maybe thank her for being a mature woman and grow up🤷🏼‍♀️

He’ll rediscover his own life one day n gradually disengage from your kids most likely

… Having a drink everyone you eat out does not make someone an alcoholic. What is she doing or saying to them because I find it incredibly difficult to believe a couple of kids don’t like an adult because they’ve had a few beers?? Sound ridiculous.

Kids do not dictate what adults do. Parents need to be parents.

You are in no way obligated to invite her (or the both of them for that matter) around your children. Your children must always come first!!!

Kids shouldn’t be around someone who is drinking excessive amount of alcohol. She sounds like an alcoholic. You need to keep your kids safe.

She’s grown. As long as she’s not being crazy and hurting them well its fine.

What is the point of this entire situation? This makes no God damn sense to me.
This is entitled bullshit. Pull your kids out, stop saddling a man that is not obligated to your children WITH CHILDREN and move on with your life. This is immature.

Why do your kids see a man that you’re not with and isn’t their dad on the reg? Weird. Sis let him go