My kindergartner has been crying about going to school: Advice?

My grandson is starting 4k this year, today in fact. He’s scared. The child uses that excuse for everything he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t like going out of his comfort zone. He’s very smart. 4k is mainly to pick up some social skills. He does not talk to many people, even people He’s been around for awhile. His mother is similar. I get being shy. I’ve been there. We’re at a loss as to what to do. He’ll be 5 the end of November. He went to 3k last year, 2 days a week for a couple hours. I don’t think he talked to kids or teacher. He seemed to have fun most days.

I have to drag my 14 year old to the bus stop by has toenails most mornings. That’s after using the jaws of life to pay him out of bed.

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It doesn’t end lol my son is 10 and still doesn’t like going to school. As someone mentioned earlier he is only 5. Kids also need wellness days. Take him to do something fun just you and him. Sometimes thats all they need and then its easier for them to go back to school.

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I mean I personally wouldn’t home school him, and last year my son had to do part of the school year online, and I know he didn’t really like that, so, personally I would make him go, even if he is crying and screaming for me. It may seem harsh and hurt your heart a little but, but it’s for his own good.

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My daughter had a difficult time as well - it was the separation from mom and dad for her. We sent her to school with pictures of the family so that she could “see” us during the school day. Maybe little things like that could help. It did get much better over time.

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He needs to get used to being away from you

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Talk to his teacher(s). I was like that as a kid, but always had a great time once my mom left. He may just be struggling with separation anxiety and thinks he’s missing out on something special while he’s at school.

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My granddaughter did this for seems like 4 months when she started 1st grade ( she was homeschooled kindergarten) and a good friend of mine told me don’t give in until after Christmas. Sounds weird but I kept doing the screaming and crying Everyday. And by Christmas she was fine just one day it all turned around and she started loving school. So just keep pushing him to go. Don’t give in. My granddaughter said it was to long to be away from me. I’ve had custody of her since 5 months old. And I don’t work so it was just me and her for 6 years.

He will never wanna leave if you start to homeschool . Drop him off and leave . He will get used to it . Maybe see if another child can meet him at drop off to make the transition easier . Good luck . It is so hard leaving them like that :frowning:

It’s absolutely heart shattering but they’ll get in a routine and then make friends and soon (hopefully) it won’t be as bad, but almost every kid does it the first year because they’ve spent their whole lives wit just you and dad, and y’all being there with him if he is somewhere. I say give it a little while longer and then if he’s still like that, but it could also be separation anxiety

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Do what you feel is best for your baby. Check out Time4Learning. They have a fun age appropriate kindergarten curriculum. Maybe he’ll be ready next year :heartbeat: no need to make him suffer if you’re able and avaliable to homeschool him.

My daughter is in kindergarten and is VERY shy. Which means she won’t ask for help if she needs it. She was doing good and then Tuesday she cried and cried that she didn’t want to go. It wasn’t until after school that she said she didn’t want to go cuz that day was technology day and it’s hard and she doesn’t understand it :pensive: maybe try talking to him a little more. It may be something that he’s not understanding in school and needs help

Make him go get the social interactions. If he has not been to a preschool or anything it can be a change of pace for them and scary. The more he goes the better he will get.

Talk with people at school, if he’s not getting bullied and the teacher isn’t mean, make him go. My youngest son never really liked school during kindergarten, but for 1st grade he fought harder not to go. He has ADHD, and his teacher was a major jerk to him because he couldn’t sit still quietly like all the other kids. Of course he wasn’t diagnosed till the end of the year, but it was rough. If it’s just separation anxiety, it’s probably best to keep sending him, and show him how much he can do on his own and that it’s ok.

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Yes he still needs to go. It’s a big adjustment and it’s still pretty new. My daughter enjoys school but every morning says she doesn’t want to go. She’s cried a few mornings as well. It’s hard on us all. Just do your best mama. Keep encouraging him. When my daughter has a rough morning I suggest we get ice cream after school or a frosted lemonade from chickfila (her favorite). It gives her something to look forward to, and once the day starts she’s fine. It’s just getting them in there thats hard sometimes lol

Sit in on mornings with them, I dis with my kids and I always bolunteered. Most K teachers don’t kind. See what his routine is. Kids will begin to enjoy it and will have hard days. Like today … I don’t wanna go to work lol but I got to. It’s all so new and they need your approval that it’s ok.

My son did that but he made up a fight that didn’t happen. School has more expectations then home usually, so I would say it’s probably too much for him. Instead of dragging him in perhaps he can start his day with the guidance counselor. That’s what worked for my son

Try to find the positives of his days and remind him of those. In my opinion don’t ask specifically was it boring were kids mean etc because even if that isn’t the case he will use those things to reason why he doesn’t want to go the next day. Reading books about school together. We drew hearts on our hands because I know part of the issue was missing me and things to look forward to doing after school or on weekends.

If he’s being treated poorly, I would confront whoever it is or homeschool him. But if his reason for not wanting to go is because he misses you, I would send him. But send him with a pic of you or something of yours… My 8 yr old used to have a hard time leaving me when she wanted to go have sleepovers at aunties house. so she started taking one of my photos with her. My sister sent me a few pics of her looking at it while she was there. That was a few years ago. She doesn’t need the photo anymore but we know her limit is 2 whole days then she needs her mom.

I did this all thru elementary school, and I skipped a lot of school in middle and the start of high school. It was all because of anxiety. I have horrible social and separation anxiety issues. Homeschooling was the only thing that worked for me. And I would say I was bored in school as well. My anxiety issues were so bad it would make it hard to focus on a building and my education suffered because of it. Being dragged into a building is still a memory that haunts me and I’m 25 now.

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If he had to be drug in, maybe try changing to a different drug?

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It will take 2-3 weeks for him to get adapted to a new beginning. My son was like this in pre-K but kindergarten and first grade has been doing well. Keep your head up mama it takes time and I know it breaks your heart!

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Email or call the teacher, set up a time to talk and get his or her take on the issue. Ask for an opinion on how to make the situation better for your child.

You could also call the principal and ask for suggestions to prepare your child for the transition to school.

Ask if they believe your child is ready to transition to school. They may have ideas. They may have suggestions.

Was your child ever away from you before kindergarten in a structured program such as while attending a preschool?

When you find out the teacher’s take, ask if you can volunteer or ask if you can observe.

If there’s something you don’t like either with the response you receive or what you see, ask for your child to be moved to a different classroom.

Since you aren’t working, can you take your child to a park or playground for the hour before he has to be at school? Or can you add some other
Mommy time before school so he know you aren’t deserting him? Last suggestion: plan something with him for when you pick him up after school. Pick together and let him know you will be there to pick him up after school so that you can do this thing together.

He’s likely not going to be able to vocalize his feelings at that age. My kids couldn’t My grandkids couldn’t. You are going to want to stay calm and work through this time together. His him time. Don’t be too anxious.

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You have to do what you feel is best for your child, but keep in mind that if he hasn’t been to school before (daycare or pre-school) this is all new for him. It will take some time to adjust. I would suggest giving it more time and see how it goes. I would also reach out to his teacher and see how he is doing after drop off. It may be that he’s been with you all day up until now and this is a big adjustment for him. Pulling him after a week doesn’t give him the time to adjust and being in school, with his peers is important for socialization.

In the mean time, hype school up for him. Ask about new friends and what he did each day. Ask him what he learned and ask him to show you. Tell him about all the new friends he’s going to make, field trips and how smart he’s going to get.

If after, say a month, it isn’t any better, then I’d consider looking into hybrid classes or home school.

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My child has been I daycare since 4 months as I’m a single mom but they do get used to it. Unfortunately this happens if kids aren’t exposed to daycare much before kindergarten but they get comfortable eventually. Soon he will walk off to school and not even say bye and then that makes you sad haha

My hated kindergarten too. But I made him go to teach him thar sometimes in life we still have to do things even if we don’t want to. My son had a horrible experience. He got a different teacher because the first one quit . He hated the new teacher. He complained it was so boring.

Now he is in the first grade and loves it. His teacher said he is excelling in all subjects and my son now looks forward to school every day.

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I would contact the teacher and see what the problem is before I change things

My son would do this in Pre k. I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. My gut told me that perhaps that classroom wasn’t right or something was up with him and the teacher…

He has a speech delay and was extremely “hyper” I got him evaluated just to make sure for myself.

I immediately pulled him out of the classroom into another school where he gets his services and he has no issues. Classroom was a smaller size 12:1:1

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Nope, my youngest son hated it. Staff took him away from me ONCE, in that moment I realized my son was being unnecessarily traumatized by the situation and I marched right in there and took him. Homeschooling is thee best decision we ever made!! No bullies, No mean teachers and zero stress.
If you have the privilege to stay home then I highly recommend

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Red shirt him. Give him another year before going.

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It’s tough, but he will eventually adjust. I used to work at a preschool and the kids would cry at drop-off. Parents usually dragged it out and made it longer than it had to be. 5 minutes after they left, the kid would be playing and happy.

Is he fine when you pick him up? The fact that the teacher isn’t calling you because he is crying all day is a good indication that he is just emotional at drop off time and the rest of the day is OK.

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Nanny cam him and find out

Could he just go a few days a week? Either he’s not mature enough yet, or he’s bored with it? Does he go full days? If so, they may be too long.

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My oldest had the same issue but I found out the teacher was very rude to her during her first few days so she started refusing to go. Gotta follow the rules but a kindergarten teacher shouldn’t be rude to kids, ever.

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Age, maturity, precious experience . School is more than academics. Hone schooling isn’t always the answer. Speak to teacher, school counselor, have hun evaluated by a therapist

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He will adjust, is this his first experience leaving you? And if it is that really explains this.

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Following as my child started kindergarten this week as well and has been crying all week. It absolutely breaks my heart and I feel sick all day until I get him back home.

Do what you think is right for your child. Homeschool is best if you can anyway these days in my opinion and wish I had my kids.
But kids need to learn to push through their anxieties and face things they don’t want to do. We can’t save them from everything that causes them pain or anxiety, but we can reassure them that they will be fine.

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I drive school bus and have had kids that have never been to school before cry that they miss their parents but by the end of the day they seem happy and normally tell me they had a good day. I always assure parents that even though their kids come on crying not wanting to go to school that the tears don’t last long.

I sent mine anyways, yes its tough but if u pull them out when things arent what they want, ur teaching them to run from things instead of just handling it. Thats just my opinion tho. U are the mom and every child is different. Do what u feel is right.

Yep! Mine did it too when they were that age esp if he/she is the 1st born! They are/will more likely then not be fearful of leaving you & that you wont come back etc! My 1st born literally puked the 1st 6-8 weeks before even remotely calming down & finally coming to the realization that YES ITS ONLY TEMP & I absolutely was & did come back I wasn’t abandoning them etc They really DO NEED the socialization w/ other kids regardless if they have siblings bcuz its that interaction w/ others in their age bracket that starts teaching them social skills, friendships sharing etc etc Dont worry this too shall pass as the saying goes! Lol