You need to get custody done legally.
Document everything!
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From high school how old were you in video. She can be charged with possession of vid if you were under age
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Iâd take it to the police. Sheâs blackmailing you, and if itâs sexual in any nature that bumps it into a whole other thing.
Donât let her push you around. Handle it the legal route.
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Revenge porn is illegal, especially if itâs an underage explicit
Donât walk on Egg Shells around her. Stand your ground.
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Itâs a video of u. U arenât screwing a minor or beating a kid in it so. Look her in the eye and tell her to do it. It will just make her look bad not u. Sex is natural. Being a jealous psycho isnât.
Let her post it and if itâs a sexual video, sheâll be charged with child pornography.
If the video is a something that you sent to a guy or something like that, revenge porn in Ohio is illegal and if she distributes that without your consent she can get in trouble. Check your state for this if thatâs the type of video.
Ignore- sheâs know this is eating at you. Be the bigger person. Continue on be good keep your nose clean and give her no reason to judge you. That âvideoâ was the past. Iâm not sure how long ago but as long as there was no harm done it shouldnât be an issue.
She canât lmfao. Sx workers have kids and their job doesnât affect their ability to keep them. Unless yâall are doing it in front of the child, there are ZERO grounds to remove them. And if it was in high school you were probably a minor. So if she decides to post it anywhere to be a jerk, itâs considered distribution of prn involving a child (which is HELLA illegal and SHE will end up in jail) or you can also go after her for revenge p*rn. She canât do anything except make empty threats and potentially screw herself
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An old video wonât mean crap to a judge and the fact that she is telling the little girl that she canât be around you and making her feel uncomfortable when she comes to visit her dad will fall under parental alienation and if you go to court she will have painted herself in a pretty poor light in a judges eyes because they do not like thatâŚits seen as abusive to a childâs mental state.
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Itâs his only leverage. Tell him to tag you when he posts it. At this point walk proud with your head high. If he posts it thatâs the kind of man he is. And everyone will see that of him.
Unless you were molesting a child, or some other form of deviance or abuse where that law cannot run out,She canât do shit with that video but try to embarrass you. Donât even pay her no mind.
Iâd call her bluff
If your BF cared enough to stand by you then you can fight her together
If she uses the video, chances are itâs gonna get her into trouble first before you
I think sheâs just trying scare tactics so youâll leave him and she can get him back! It sounds like if youâre relationship is important then youâll fight together
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Is the video sexual or have nudity of any kind with you underage? If so get her for receiving and showing child porn. 
In other news she is just being insecure and jealous. She feels threatened by you being in her exes life and in her childâs. Sadly itâs pretty typical. I would ignore it and worry about him and the child. If things get too much worse he will need to man up and get an actual custody agreement and go for full or half and half custody or as close to it as he can. He is the dad and deserves as much parenting time as she has if at all possible.
Absolutely not, if she exposes that video she can be charged with a felony and go on the registry for revenge p0rn, and if it was in high school and you were underage it would be even more time and consequences for her. Do not let her scare you or push you around with that, you will win that fight!
Ummm she is stupid black mailing someone is illegal she slow
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Id personally contact her in text so there is proof and say that you do not give your consent for her to have any videos or photos of you. If she refuses to delete the said video inform her you are calling the police as she is trying to harass you and blackmail you AND your partner and threatening to keep his child from him. If you think this video is possibly an inappropriate one especially let them know that when you call. Even if it turns out to be fake and her just throwing a huge tantrum its better safe than sorry so she doesnât hold something like that over his head or urs for that matter. And it could get him temporary custody. Regardless if thereâs no paperwork if you can prove when both parents have the child then that will be all that matters to the court.
She is just being a b starting crap. Pay no mind to her. If she did a judge would laugh in her face. She canât control who the child is around on dads time. She is just trying to come between you two. Sounds like she is upset he has moved on. Live your life happily maybe some day sheâll catch up. Also if she sent that in a text keep it for evidence of blackmail. Good luck and keep being a good role model for the little one sounds like they need it more than you know 
Blackmail is illegal . If youâre underage on the video and its explicitâŚsheâs downloaded child porn and could end up in jail.
Id think the best thing would be legal advice tbhâŚand get custody sorted out legally too.
Neither you nor the child should have to put up with this nonsense
As a mom on the other side of this, 1 he needs to make custody legal through the courts, 2 you are NOT mom when she is at daddyâs house and should not be allowing the child to call you that (you are not married), 3 she can make it difficult for him to see the child because of you not being married, 4 it isnât always about you but the well-being of the child, 5 the video stuff can go against either of you so refer back to number 3.
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Not only is it illegal for her to be black mailing you (also keep all the proof that she is doing this, even for future reference) but itâs also illegal for her to post it anywhere without your consent. AND no this will not go in her favor in court. If anything is shows how much growing up SHE needs to do. Stay calm, keep proof, keep being a good role model to the child and donât stoop to her level.
Well if you were a high schooler in the video, and itâs sexual in nature, then she would be in possession of, and distributing, child porn. That wouldnât be a good look for her trying to get custody. So remind your bf of that to ease his mind.
if there is no custody agreement on a Technicality you can keep the kid with her father and go to court
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She absolutely can not use it against you as the you were a lot younger and you have grown up. If she tries to use it she will be the one who gets in serious trouble. So you make sure you tell her and she can find out for herself but if she posts anything or sends anything to anyone you can have her arrested. Thatâs very illegal! And tell her if she doesnât delete it you will call the cops. If itâs sexual and you were in high school, you were a minor so she has child pornography cuz you arenât a adult and thatâs illegal as well. Donât let her get you or your boyfriend down!! Karmaâs a b*tch!!! And the ex will get hers!!
What do you mean by âinappropriateâ? If itâs a video of you abusing a child she may be able to get an order keeping you from being around her kid. As well as charges on you. If itâs drug use probably the most that will happen is the judge will test you for drugs. If itâs sexual, you were still in highschool meaning you were a minor she has procession of child porn. You can sue her & press charges. If sheâs circulating this video you can press charges for that too.
Never do visitation or child support on your own. It leaves too much room for the other person to manipulate you. Your bf needs to go court to get a custody order. He needs to put in it that she canât badmouth him or anyone associated to him. This is already frowned upon in family court. People do loose custody for it. He needs a lawyer.
So how does she have video of you?? Donât understand that. If this was before yâall dated
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Go on Warrior Stepmoms group.
Youâll find the answers there from women in similar situations as yours
So, sheâs threatening to show videos of you from high school? Sheâs admitting then to possession of underage pornography. Contact police with that info and that sheâs threatening to blackmail you. There are a lot of laws against this.
Let her 
sheâll be charged with distributing child pornography. If u donât wanna wait, call the police and tell them youâre being black mailed with videos of yourself as a child. They take that sh!t very seriously.
Blackmailing is an actual crime. Document everything with times and dates and press charges.
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If youâre a minor in the video sheâll get in trouble.
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She canât. If she goes through with it you can go after her in court which would help out your man. Let her know that and see if it shuts her up
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Actually, thatâs blackmail and she can go to jail for it. Document everything. So she can try, but then sheâll end up the one in trouble. Lol. You can whole ass counter sue her for fldefamation in court when the case isnât even related to you.
Lmao. Unless you killed someone in that old video itâs all going to be okay. She is a bitter baby momma who will one day learn to co parent. At lease we can all hope for the sake of the child. And if not and your there for good just donât allow her to bring you to her level.
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Itâs called extortion and itâs very illegal
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Well if you were underage in the video she could go to jail for possessing it
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Call her bluff. No judge is gonna rely on something when it was years ago. People grow and change. Iâm sorry you have to deal with that. Sounds like a stressful situation.
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I would take the threats to the police. Blackmail is illegal. Treating someone is illegal. No she canât take his kid over old videos of you unless you were beating up kids or murdering someone. Sheâs just really insecure which is annoying. He also needs to take her ass to court and get a court order on her so she canât with hold visitation. You all keep that court order safe like itâs a brick of gold!
Sue her when she posts or shows it to someone- itâs illegal
Regardless unless he is proven unfit or you as well then there is nothing she can do. If he is worried she would take him, personally Iâd go ahead and file legally through court for visitations that is on documents. If she could she would take her and keep her away unless court says otherwise where theyâre not legally married.
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If she does anything online with said video you can actually get her done other than that no doesnât mean crap everyone has a past
So if your a minor in that video she can possibly go to jail for child pornography, if she wants to send something out that has a minor involved in the video it can probably cost her her child, if you take her to court and you have physical proof of all of this she will most likely lose her kiddo to you guys, you canât be a bitter baby mama without consequences
If she texted you or him I would just keep proof of the threat.
If you were in high-school still when the video was made and a minor she could get in big big Trouble for having that video! Child pornography! She could lose her child, do prison time and get a sex offender charge!
Depending on the content, Thatâs called revenge porn and if you were underage at the time of the video, that would be a hole other charge/crime.
That video wonât hold up. Unless you committed a felony act Iâm fairly certain itâs not gonna matter. Sheâs messing with you.
Sheâs blackmailing you, ILLEGAL. and if thatâs video is from before you were 18 then she will be in trouble actually and a judge will see right through her crap! and might even take pitty on dad for having to deal with a bitter ex.
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She would only incriminate herself by bringing that video into any courtroom. Let her dig her own graveđ¤ˇââď¸ Courts are really starting to see these toxic women who hold their children against loving fathers. They will not look kindly to this situationâŚYaâll already coparent and do 50/50 without court intervention so they know itâs very possible, sheâs just being difficult now. And what would a video from when you were in high school prove against you??? And think about that⌠If youâre a minor in said video she will actually be promoting and sharing child pornography lol. So let her and then go after full custody imo
Make sure you get the threat in text or screen shot. Or recording.
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She will be in more trouble for the distribution of ârevenge p0rnâ itâs a very real crime
She canât use a video of you in high school to take his child from him. She is just stirring you up.
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Blackmail is a crime.
Have proof sheâs made threats and FOR THE LOVE - GET A LEGAL CUSTODY AGREEMENT. 
Then, you can press charges bc if you are under 18 and it imvolves sex, she is in possession of child p*rn.
Im sure if this video was of you doing something grim with a child or animals, Iâm sure she canât get the child taken away from him?!
If you are a minor in that video, she absolutely canât use it and you should seek legal action against her for extortion. Iâd definitely speak to your local law enforcement and a lawyer.
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If the video is from high school, that is child porn. She can go to prison for sharing it and even having it in her possession.
The video wonât help her but make her look stupid. Your man should file now! Whoever files first it looks better on! Donât let her file first. If sheâs threatening it then file now
Unless the video is of you killing or abusing a person or animal the courts wonât care
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I would go get custody legally. They already agree to week on week off arrangement. My experience has been get it documented and put in on paper. So no threats like this.
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Would this be classed as ârevenge pornâ where you are? Iâve been told some states in the US charge people for sharing intimate videos/photos without the subjects consent.
Just remind her that blackmail is a crime that can include jail time
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Lol, what a sad attempt. She has no upper hand and if she tries she will look like an idiot.
Unless it a murder video, dont even worry about it. If it is a murder video, you got bigger problems 
Dont let bitter exâs stress you.
There isnât crap she can do with that video. Also revenge porn is very illegal and if she does anything with it, sheâd face charhes.6
You can act before her⌠Record or get any evidence of her threat and use it to pick a case with her so the video can be gotten and destroyed. Explore the laws in your place about blackmail and then sue her if you can.
Your partner should be able to talk to his ex and make her respect you or start now to do right by the child to protect the babyâs sanity and help her have a good self-esteem and confidence. What sheâs doing is terrible.
No need having a long talk with her⌠Just use the blackmail line and put her in her good behaviour
Well sounds like you have proof she is black mailing youâŚhe really should take her to court.
Unless the video is of you and a child, then itâs irrelevant to the case. Threaten to prosecute her for child pornography.
She might fall in the hole that she is digging fr youđ¤
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Are you a minor? Please tell me youâre nude in anyway, she is now in possession of child porn. Youâre welcome.
If itâs just like a sex tape, she should be carful because if youâre under 18, thatâs distribution of child pornography. Unless you were committing a serious felony against a child, animal, another person. Thereâs nothing the courts are going to do with it except maybe charge her for blackmail and distributing child pornography (if itâs a sex tape and youâre under age). People are so stupid, I canât.
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It depends on what state and if your living together unmarried
She canât do nothing to you and if she uses the video anywhere you can press charges. And I would have the police sent to her to investigate if she really has one or not. They will take her phone or whatever it is she got the video on. Have proof of her threatening you with it first.
If you were a minor and itâs something sexualâŚshe is in possession of child pornography and threatening to share or use it against you is extortion⌠sheâs gonna be the one who gets in trouble!! Iâm a " baby momma" 2 different dadâs and one of them I absolutely hate âŚbut I would never let that affect my children!!! Bitter women are just the worst
Iâve heard of similar things happening . She canât use the video, but you can press charges ! If you are a minor in that video she can be charged with having that in her possession!
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By inappropriate do you mean sexual? Were you 18? If not she is in possession of child pornography and is in big trouble 
Even if you were 18 tell her you were underage and itâs illegal for her to even have. Call her bluff. If she were actually going to use it, she would have and not threatened it. However, your bf needs to get their custody arrangement documented because she can pull it anytime if it isnât court ordered.
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist
She cant do nothing. She is all talk. Actually she would look like the unfit parent if she was to release a video of an underage child. Its called child porn. So i would screen shit any and all messages from her. Keep a log of stuff. I honestly wouldnt worry
No she canât. The judge will laugh at that. And tell her unless there is something going on now she needs to sit back and deal w it.
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If you were in high school she can be charged with possession of child pornogrphy, assuming you were under 18.
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Sheâs just stirring the shit pot.
You seem pretty level headed about the dadâs role with his daughter.
Just keep doing what youâre doing and pay her less mind.
So what youâre saying is, there IS in fact a video? 
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Iâd agree go to court for the custody so she canât ever hold the child from you. & then also there have it brought up that if she tryâs to black mail anyone that it is a crime and that can include jail time and if she goes to jail she will most likely loos her portion of custody
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Most states have laws around this. Some more severe than others, but most have a fine and or jail time. Also, if you are under 18 in the videos and they are sexual in nature she would be sharing child porn and that carries an even heavy sentence. You should keep all proof of her threats. Your SO needs to go ahead and file for a custody agreement. It will help him a lot over the next 14 years of his childâs life. A child should never be a pawn.
? is has she really got a video or just saying that sounds like a jealous ex let her get on with her blackmail wonât make any difference to childâs daddy silly woman
That video wonât mean anything. I mean unless youâre physically harming a child or something like that. Like if youâre just getting drunk or doing drugs or a sex video, whatever the hell you were doing that does not matter. Plus with it being so long ago, the judge will honestly look at her as being petty.
She canât use it against him since youâre not the legal parent. Regardless, anything that happened before the child was born is irrelevant regardless if you were a legal parent.
Taking her to court might be in your best interest. It can stop her from contacting you with things that do not pertain to the child. Just document everything, harassment can show the judge sheâs not fit to be a parent.
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Being in a mother state doesnt matter as much these days, especially if you have documented evidence of her behavior. Text messages and things like that tend to be an absolute god send these days for custody battles. Besides, Mom would have to prove Dad is unfit, or abandoned the family and clearly neither of those is the case. He can clearly prove that he has been in the childs life and provided for the child so most likely theyâd end up with actual paperwork of the custody arrangement. Also most states will provide a court mediator for a small fee, and that will keep you from having to deal with Mom to much during any court related issues.
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Honestly he needs paperwork I donât care how well they have worked things out for years once she starts shit like this she wonât stop. She will take it upon herself to decide heâs not fit. Take her to court they are going to see what their schedule is and probably go with that regardless. There may be child support but thatâs a small price to pay. In regards to the video it depends on whatâs happening in the video people have completely ruined reputations after saying racist slurs. If itâs of sexual nature then sheâs going to screw herself in two ways. 1. Your probably a minor so thatâs child pornography 2. Revenge porn laws have been put into place to protect people from shitty people using things against them. My husbandâs ex printed pictures off my social media accounts of my tattoos and died hair and tried to use them against him! If you need someone to talk or vent to Iâve been dealing with this bullshit for 6 years now
if there Is a video Iâd leak it first, now what bitch haha
The video of her getting gangbanged by the school basketball team
In CT, the courts allow visitation to both parents and itâs at the fatherâs discretion who the child is allowed to be around. I highly doubt that a video that was taken 5 years ago, or when you were a minor would be admissible in court. When my ex was bringing my son around a questionable person that had a few felonies and a spotty past, the judge said that there was nothing that he could do to stop my ex from allowing our son to be around this person. Iâm guessing that the same thing would apply to your situation as well. Your boyfriend should file for custody since there is nothing in place, and at any time the mother can take the child and leave because thereâs nothing keeping her from doing so. Best of luck to you and your family.
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Iâd say, she will only look stupid and more vindictive what you did or didnât do in high-school 5 years ago wonât matter. As said above he should make the move on getting it legal.
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First of all IF she did take him to court a judge will look at what has been working for this longâŚ.if you were so harmful why would she be ok with the arrangement up til now?!? You were a kid in the video if it was from HSâŚâŚshe canât use that against you nowâŚ.if you have nothing bad going on now I wouldnât worry about itâŚ.sheâs just trying to manipulate your guyâŚ.and heâs letting her if he gives in to her threatsâŚ.if you two are living a good life then donât worry about it or her threatsâŚ.
He needs to go to court or have her agree to a parenting plan and get that parenting plan notarized etc. He needs something like that to protect himself and his daughter from his exâs crazy. Itâs only going to get worse if he doesnât.
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So she is in possession of child pornography? And she is using said pornography to blackmail you? I would go to the police and start some paperwork that way if it does turn into a custody battle, hopefully not, this can be used as evidence against her character.
I guess it would depend on what is in the video⌠if itâs just a sex tape or something of that nature, no. Look at Paris Hilton and Kim K. But if itâs a video of you doing something violent and that could get you in trouble legallyâŚpossibly. But you were a juvenile, we all grow up.
I would tell your Man we fly at midnight and he files for custody. She cannot alienate her childâs father or prevent him from moving forward with his life.
His daughter will be provided a GAL who will question all of you, come into your homes and review your interactions with her.
Like others said, if you were a minor in those videosâŚthereâs greater risk to her for showing them. Let her show her cards and then you can file against her.
Good luck to your family.
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Revenge porn is illegal. So no it canât be used against you. Porn stars are parents. Tell him to take her to court and stop letting her run his life.
If she has an inappropriate video of you in high school thats child porn and she can go to jail
She can go to jail for having that video. How ever she got it.
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Keep trying to play nice for the childâs sake if you can. I really doubt anything that happened prior to your relationship will affect him and his daughter. All else fails sis, go big or go home. Depending on how âlewdâ your video and your age at the timeâŚpossession of child pornography. But be mindful thatâs thatâs dirty can of worms.