She sounds excited. Be patient with her. If you need a little space, tell her you need a little space, but realize her being pushy is because she’s excited and already loves her new grandbaby.
Would u rather have a mil who doesn’t give a d*mn? Good grief woman. I’m guessing from the time difference you mentioned she doesn’t live near by either so.
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Me and my fiancee both have older kids but decided to keep our pregnancy and premature birth of our son off of social media and both our families understand and don’t complain…i hope y’all can get her to do the same
I am widowed so I am very much alone. I have 2 sons and they both have beautiful families. I enjoy the time spent with them very much. Oldest son lives 4 hours from me. My youngest is about 45 minutes. I constantly feel pushed away by my DIL. I think she is an excellent mom and I try to follow her rules. I love them all very much but feel left out so often. I’ve tried to explain how I feel to her but things have yet to change. I understand about privacy but just an invite to go to the movies would be wonderful. If this is your MIL’s situation please find a little patience and understanding with her.
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Your feelings matter. And your family with your s/o comes before her. I had to do that with my family… Yes it’s difficult, but you deserve those moments. We did not allow anyone in the delivery room, and I would absolutely do it again! My husband and I were able to bond with our little one. And we had intimate moments with each person later on.
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I think since she lives away from you in a different time zone she just wants to feel involved
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She just sounds excited to me 
Sounds like you just have an issue with her because the things you’ve mentioned don’t seem that invasive. She could be asking to attend appointments, popping up everywhere you go. I find it really sad when people aren’t close with their parents, me & my OH are really close with all our parents & it makes for a stress free, happy life. Her baby is having a baby of his own, let her be excited & happy about it. You’d soon be on here complaining if she was ignoring you & the fact you’re pregnant 
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Honestly I’d be happy she wants to be apart of ur lives not everyone has that
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His Mom, his place. Tell him to back her off or you will, forcefully.
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Boundaries are good! Stick to your guns about your boundaries
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I hope my son don’t find a controlling woman like this! 
Like she don’t even live near you but she don’t give you space. 
Let her be excited. 
So tired of petty posts about how awful it is that MIL’s want to be involved in their son’s families lifes 
“Oh she just don’t want to let him go” But in reality y’all be the ones trying to push your S/O mom away.
You know some of us dont have parents or in laws that care at all. Check your privilege
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This is a talk you have to have with your husband, dear. She is his mom.
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I’m not sure I understand the problem, she’s excited. Be glad she’s happy for you guys and wants to be involved.
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Honestly I think all this comes down to u!! I think ur jealous of ur MIL! Sry not sry I would love for my MIL to care at all so maybe u should count ur blessings instead of making a big fuss about it!! I just wish I had a MIL that cared! Honestly tho I’m not trying to be rude but maybe find the positive in this bc some don’t have a mother anymore or a MIL that cares!
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She sounds excited. And like she wants to be involved with her grandchild. Doesn’t have to be her first one for her to be excited for. And doesn’t sound like she lives by you even
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Be grateful she cares!!!
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I mean…I wish I had a mom like this lol!
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You are entitled to your feelings.
Talk with your partner about it, how you feel, and let him speak with his mom.
Also, keep in mind that you do not have to answer the phone or respond to texts.
This is mmmmm baby, and this experience belongs only to you and your partner, and it’s up to y’all how you want to share/celebrate/ this experience.
Boundaries are of utmost importance, and they need to be established now, before baby comes.
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I’d be so much more upset if she didn’t care about the doctors’ appointment and was not excited about the baby. Gently set some boundaries but first reflect on what’s really bothering you. Choose your battles wisely…
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It seems intrusive now, but you’ll miss it one day.
Some of us don’t have someone excitedly awaiting all info lol.
Just speak to her. She may not realize the boundaries she’s crossing and that you don’t like it, ya know? Just gently/kindly talk to her and let her know how you feel.
Just talk to hubby about having a talk with her to ease up a little… my MIL passed away when I was 16 weeks pregnant, and I’m stuck in a different country to my family with absolutely no support at all… I would give anything to have someone here to care that much
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I’m on the fence with this one I get she may be excited but some stuff couples like to celebrate as a couple then share with the rest of the world. Not everyone wants to have a crowd celebrating with them.
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I’d be happy with a mother in law that actually cared about her grandkids, instead I have one that abandoned them because her daughter told her to. You should learn to choose your battles. Some things aren’t worth causing a big fuss over. Your mother in law wouldn’t know about any of these things if you didn’t tell her in the first place, so who’s fault is it, really?
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So who exactly is the “problem”
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Ok i think everyone is missing the point. Its not always what is said, it’s HOW! Certain family members in my life have an extreme tendency to be nosey and rude about it! I wouldn’t even respond.
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She just sounds excited hun
But I would try and sit down and talk to her about how you feel and maybe y’all can work something, keep in mind you don’t have to answer calls or texts right away,
It’s great she’s excited and cares I wish my mom was the same way, but it’ll work out soon love just be patient with her
I think you sound absolutely ridiculous …
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Sounds like she’s excited…
Btw, must’ve had “privacy” at some point … 
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My mother in law is the same way. She is driving me insane. I stopped answering my phone hahaa. She can call my husband and he can tell her anything she wants to know. I’m to busy for you sorry.
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Is there a reason she can’t be included? It sounds like she is very excited and just wants to be a part of it. There’s something to be said about a man who is good to his mama. He will be good to you too. Why does it have to be private? I don’t mean to sound like I’m putting down how you feel… just trying to understand.
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I feel for you girl and you deserve privacy but I think she is just excited about the pregnancy.
but honestly these aren’t serious MIL issues if you want to hear a few stories about crazy mother in laws send me a message
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Awww someone cares about you
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I would definitely pick my battles. She sounds really supportive and excited and probably has no idea that you feel that way. Also if you love your partner then you should be careful as to not put him in a position where he feels like he has to choose sides. That’s not fair to him.
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Seems like you have an issue. She is being respectful by what I see. She could have posted all over Facebook about the baby but she hasn’t out of respect. Maybe try including her that way she doesnt feel left out. My kids are getting older and will soon have their own lives. To find out my baby is having their own baby I would be over the moon. I hope I get a dil that is not like this. Yes their are rules as that would be their child. And I would never meddle or go against them but my excitement would be overflowing. And they know how their mom loves babies!
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Allow her to be excited about your baby! Don’t be that daughter in law! Wow!
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Same here. Zero respect for privacy and dealing with our kids our way.
I’m wondering (maybe I’m a cold hearted beeach) why wouldn’t u block her or shut yr phone off when you want privacy? u don’t live with her so bye bye MIL its your life live it how u want
Set boundaries NOW. It will only get worse once the baby is here. She gets updates on YOUR time, not her time and only if you feel like sharing. This is not her news, her pregnancy, or her baby. If she wants to share the news of somebody having a baby, she can have another one herself.
My mother in law was super pushy. At the baby shower we were gonna do a name reveal on the cake. But MIL decided she should know first and looked at it when it was in the fridge and even told other ppl and ruined the surprise. She demanded to be in delivery room and I had the nurses tell her to stay out. When my son was born she wanted to hold him basically 5 mins after birth. Like damn hes still wet chill. You deserve to have things done the way you want for yourself and your baby.
She sounds very excited for this baby! You should feel grateful. I’ve had 2 children after both grandma’s have passed. I wish I could’ve seen a grandma’s excitement.
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So you mean she’s excited? 
none of this sounds bad at all lol.
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You are always entitled to your feelings…to feel them without having to explain yourself (to anyone other than the family you’re responsible for). It must be difficult that you want these moments without someone else (regardless of who) hovering over you wanting every detail right then and there. Just remember, this is your (the both of your) baby… Sorry but you owe your mother in law nothing. That being said, communicate with her. Maybe she’s coming off too harsh and you need to let her know what you need and don’t need from her. Respect goes both ways. Just because this isn’t her first doesn’t mean that she’s not excited and worried and feeling like she wants to be a part of every moment of this childs life.
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I would just breathe cop it on the chin and exhale. I’ve been there too. I felt like nothing was private. There’s no point making a fuss. Enjoy the positives of your pregnancy and the journey from here with your partner. Good luck!
Don’t tell her when the appointments are & put your phone on silent or vibrate when u don’t want to talk to her
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Set healthy boundaries. Start with compromise. She wants you to call and you don’t want that. That’s fine. Message her after the appointment sometime with the news “all is well. Baby is healthy and just fine.” That’s the only info you have to give. Win-win.
As for a gender reveal, it’s up to you. People wanted me to do this grand thing and all I did was post it on Facebook. They were mad, but they still knew what the baby was and got over it. Compromise in a way where you can still put your foot down when it comes to your child.
I’ll be the first to tell you that I HATE people stepping over boundaries and being overbearing. But giving a little isn’t so bad.
I hope everything works out for you.
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You’ll never get private moments. Especially now she just loves the baby already thats a good thing
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I understand your upset and stuff but it’s really not a big deal. So what if it’s not her first grandchild? It’s better then seeing her care more about her other grandkids and not yours. That’s nice she’s excited. The face book and stuff I understand you post and say when you feel like it but everything else it’s really not a big deal. Sounds like she just wants to know about the baby.
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Eh, just stop answering the calls. Eventually she’ll be angry or hurt and stop calling.
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My MIL is overbearing, and has no issue with squeezing in-between my partner and I any moment she can. She is suffocating. She can’t wait to make something about us two, then into us 3. And has no idea of boundaries. And it gets way worse after the baby.
But I just keep telling myself I should be thankful shes in the picture because one day she won’t be around. And ill miss her.
That mostly keeps me sane.
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After the appointment send a text. How much weight baby gained,and length. She loves this baby. Also was wondering how soon you tell your own mother this stuff. Both sets of in laws yours and his need to be treated the same.
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Girllll I get it!!! Everyone is sooooo quick to jump on you about being irritated that your MIL is involved… but don’t know/care how OVER the top some of that can be! My MIL accused me of “stealing her thunder” because I beat her to the punch and told my mans AUNT that I was pregnant before she could because I told her we weren’t telling anyone yet. She called me selfish because I refused to do a public gender reveal outside of my partner and I. It’s one thing to WANT to be involved and it’s a complete other thing to degrade, belittle, or outright disregard YOUR decisions. They are difficult and very delicate waters to navigate. My MIL told everyone about a previous pregnancy even tho she was told not to tell anyone else— then when I miscarried, she forgot who she told and didn’t relay the message to everyone… boy was that an awkward Easter having everyone come up and congratulate me and rub my stomach only 3 weeks after our VERY private and emotional loss. Boundaries are important and so is honesty. You AND your husband need to sit her down and have a serious conversation about YOUR (as a couple) desires and expectations and let her know that there will be some things that you choose to keep between y’all and that it isn’t because you don’t want her involved— but because you’re trying to preserve intimacy in your relationship! Good luck!!! 
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Have a talk to her because she will just keep butting in
Reading this makes me thankful. I try to give my son and daughter in law space and want me with them all the time. I baby sit all week and on weekends they call me to come over. I am blessed to be a maw maw to twin boys
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Sounds like to me she is just excited about having a grandbaby. Im sorry but id be kinda upset to.
Be happy you have someone who cares enough that they actually go over board with it. My mom and mother in law didn’t care about my daughter. She was in the NICU for 9 months after birth and neither came to see her one time. She’s 14 now and it’s still the same way,I don’t no why.
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I’m so glad my SIL sends me pics and videos of my granddaughter all the time! I would be so sad if I had to deal with someone who didn’t let me know how my baby girl was doing.
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Stop answering her calls. And when she eventually asks why just tell her straight up. (And if you haven’t told her yet, tell her first if she keeps doing it then ignore her calls. And go about everything like you normally would)
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You MIL cares about your SO and hence care about your baby. I think it’s alright to call to check up on you guys… be glad she wants to be there for you and your family. I ve seen some grand parents not giving a rats ass about anything related to their grand babies… and i have also seen crazy MILs… yours seem nice from what you said.
I’m just over here wondering if this were YOUR mother doing these “annoying” things would you be THIS upset or would you brush it off as “she’s my mom she just wants to be involved with me and the baby” ?
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Is this your husband’s first child? Sounds like she’s just really excited and I know how overwhelming that may feel but in a way she is respecting you by not posting it and bragging on Facebook. Sounds like she’s just communicating with you on whats bothering her also. Hopefully you both can come to a happy medium where you’ll get your privacy and she will get to brag on her sons first child (If it is his first, not sure if you have kids from previous and thisis your first together) 
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My MIL bought a house big enough for us & your daughter to move in with her, her youngest son, his daughter (part time). She wanted us all under the same roof & so see could see her granddaughters anytime she wanted. Yes, we moved in. Yes, she was always in our business. Yes, I always got unsolicited advice. Yes, she was pissed when I told my mom things first.
She passed away when our daughter was 3. Since then we had two my children that will never get to meet their nana. Never know the love she had to give.
Count your blessings that she actually cares and is trying. She may be over the top, but that could just be the way his “family” is no secrets.
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Set boundaries and stick to them. Tell your man to stop being a mommas boy and tell his mom to back off, it’s his place to do that not yours in my opinion. And it doesn’t even need to be done rudely, it just needs to be done.
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Be thankful that your child has a grandparent that is excited for another grandchild and wants to be involved. Some people wish they had parents to involve during a pregnancy 
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This is your partner’s parent and he needs to address it. Not once did you mention how he feels about all this and I think that has a lot to do with it. Also stop telling her your business , she doesn’t need to know when the next appointment is
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You sound like a spoiled brat! Be happy she cares about your family with your attitude she won’t long
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I think she’s just excited and i wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe mention to her that you would like some space for a little bit because you wanna enjoy your moments before having kids.
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Not everything belongs on social media and not every moment needs to be shared with extended family. You are entitled to your privacy. Set boundaries for family. MIL needs to respect your boundaries. She is not excited…sounds like she wants to take over and control parts of your life. Put your foot down now or her intefering will get worse.
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Sorry - that’s an issue with your partner, not your MIL. If you want stuff private, don’t tell her every little detail. I can understand her wanting to know ‘big’ stuff before it’s posted on social media, but otherwise, keep stuff to yourself.
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As a grandparent we get extra excited. We love our kids but nothing comes close to our grandchildren. I think she just genuinely loves you guys and maybe you should just embrace the love instead of judging it
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Just sounds like this DIL needs something to complain about? Sounds like she already has the upper hand and it is a control factor for her. She’s purposely controlling the gender reveal it sounds like. My Mother was very intrusive many times when our kids were born. You know what we let her be, bc we needed that help and guidance sometimes. My mother only got to enjoy being a Grandmother for 10years before an illness took her. In so many ways I am so Thankful that she was so persistent and intrusive. Some people don’t know how to appreciate what and who they have in their lives.
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Sounds like she wants to be included and you don’t want her at all involved. I think you should take the Initiative to try to include her some and maybe she won’t feel so excluded. It could be worse and she be not interested at all. Sounds to me like you would be complaining either way. Just try being nice.
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Pretty easy. Don’t tell her things. Don’t tell her when you’re appointments are, call her after the appointment and say “oh we had an appointment earlier in the week, baby is doing great!”
She doesn’t need to know every detail beforehand. She can’t demand information from you.
As far as social media. Your SO needs to talk to her. If you don’t want that info out there, she needs to back off. Your body, your baby, your choice. I know a few people who don’t allow posts about their child. We don’t allow people to post photos of our kids. Anyone who doesn’t respect our wishes, doesn’t get access to the photos/seeing them.
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Set boundaries of course. But also remember one day you will be a MIL excitedly awaiting a grandchild and think how you would want to be treated. I only have one son and I try to treat my MIL very well in hopes it stores up in my karma bank. The birth of a grandchild is very exciting and having someone so interested could be a blessing if you chose to see it that way.
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I couldn’t even pay my parents to give a damn… they have only met one of my 4 kids… but I guess I understand wanting privacy. Really though, I just think she’s excited about it all… be thankful for that. Maybe just talk to her. I think that would go a long ways. Good luck to you
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She’s just as excited and happy for this as you are.
Even though this is “your” experience, it’s also “hers”.
She loves your child and any love your child can get, is better for them!
Give her some slack.
Let her express her happiness.
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It’s amazing to me the number of women siding with the grandmother here 
.
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Set firm boundaries now! If you don’t, it could get alot worse. Setting your boundaries allows everyone to know exactly what is acceptable and appropriate.
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Even though this is not her first grandchild, it is her first grandchild from this particular child and yes, even if your partner is a grown adult, he is still her child. I understand that you want to have private moments and you are not wrong for wanting that but I think when people are young, they just don’t realize how important these moments are for the parents/grandparents. We literally live for them. I hate to sound like an old fogey but try to meet her halfway. Yes, have your private moments but release the footage & pictures to the grandparents first and then the general public. Your parents and her are more important than whoever is on Facebook and basically when you tell them the same time you tell “Karen,” who you worked with 8 years ago, you are minimizing their importance in your child’s life. It is very hurtful. Your MIL is going to play a huge part in your children’s lives and one day you are going to be really grateful she wants to be in their lives. So, if at all possible, meet her halfway.
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What’s the big deal?!?!?! I loved sharing every moment of my pregnancy with my mother in law, my mother and anyone I was close with. There are more important things happening in the world we live in today than having to stress over a mother in law that is excited about the new addition to the family.
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You need to talk to your spouse and have him talk to her. I get where you’re coming from. There are some things you want to enjoy as a couple first. She needs to respect your boundaries, but she first needs to know what they are.
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Soooo. U have an issue cause your child has a caring grandmother???I’m so confused 
. That’s not that big of a deal if thats all you are complaint about.
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Girl its GRANDMA even if its not her first grandchild its still like getting a million bucks to her. Is she nice to you? Is she mean. Is she overly nice and makes you uncomfortable? I dont know the back story but I feel like you are lucky to have a g-ma so invested.
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I don’t think it’s a privacy issue it’s a respect issue. She needs to respect that, no matter what her reasons, it’s your choices to make. On the other hand, respect her for being excited and wanting to ‘show off’ the gender and pregnancy stuff; there are plenty of SO’s mothers and even MIL’s that don’t care and some will even reject you and the baby all together. It’s not your SO’s problem to deal with her either. You two are in a committed relationship and with a baby, you will forever be linked to her, so a stern talk with her from the both of you, explaining that you know she cares but needs to respect your choices and your privacy, would be much better than just sending your SO over to deal with her.
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Capture pictures of your significant other in a towel, sitting on the bowl. Send her the pictures and tell her you need to know what to do about his constipation, and the foul smells he emits when he toilets. Ask if she can encourage him to get his prostate exam. After all, he is her baby, albeit her full groan ass manchild That generally cures the over-nosy mil.
We have a new grandchild and my daughter asked me not to post pictures or information without her permission. I was kind of annoyed at first because I was so excited but honestly, it’s her child and I would never go against her wishes in this area. It’s her choice to make, I do post the occasional picture but I always check with her first. I send pictures to her dad every Friday when I babysit but not on social media. She wants to be in control of this, I think it’s just her protecting her baby and there’s nothing wrong with that. She told us from the beginning what she wanted. We love her and the baby - who is so stinking cute btw - so I respect what she wants.
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She sounds like she is just really excited to me. Don’t forget that her son is her child and put yourself in her shoes. One day, this will be you calling to check on your child and grandchild.
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My grandmother was such an important part of my life. I wanted her to be included because she was like a second mother to me. Your child is going to love her SO much and she loves your child so very much. Since this is your first baby you just cant understand yet how much you’re going to love him/her. It wont matter if he/she is 1 year old or 50. She loves your husband that much and wants to be there for him and her grandchild. Dont come between that kind of love, please. Its the most deep and beautiful love there is.
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Buy if she wasn’t so excited you’d be mad and day she didn’t want to be involved…choose your battles wisely…you don’t live with her so how is this a “privacy” invasion???
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Don’t answer the phone. You can control that. Take your life back by dictating how you handle when you answer and when you don’t. If you are old enough to marry and have children then act like an adult and stop tolerating her behavior.
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I would just call and the three of you have a conversation. I wanted to set guidelines with my in-laws and while a little bummed they understood. We announce anything first about kids and once we make it public they can run with it. Honesty is the best approach. I think she may just be excited and it just seems intrusive…speaking from experience!
You’ll get all kinds of advice/comments about this. Maybe she’s being selfish, but she does care. I’ve heard and known stories about inlaws that don’t care or show favoritism, only loving their first grandchild or daughter’s children, which can be so hurtful. Start lovingly setting boundaries now that you can live with. Communicate with her, and have your husband participate with you. Tell her how you are thankful she loves your baby and that you want her to be involved to lovingly support you (you WILL need it). She will respect your ability to be truthful with her about what you need without rejecting her. If you do this, you will have done your best, with loving intentions, for all of your family. Your feelings are valid.
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In my opinion, you marry the family. What I read, is the mother of your SO and grandmother of your child, wants to be included. She does hold a special, revered place in the family. Private moments should be between partners but the next people to be included are those that will love and support you, as they always have. Perhaps, you are not offering her the rightful place in your family.
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She isn’t trying to annoy you she is so excited. I have 7 children 14 grandkids and 7 great grandkids I’m excited over every one
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She should still understand boundaries and be respectful! I would just stop telling her things, or your husband if that’s how she is learning about them!! Your life together is what’s important, boundaries are boundaries
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This is normal. It sounds like you dont want to share your life, that will be hard to so since your SO has family and most likely friends.
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My current monster in law hates my ring so she bought me one she liked and that’s just the last thing she’s done … girl tell your mother in law how you are feeling and that you love that she wants to be a part of things but you guys want time to enjoy it yourselves before being bum rushed by everyone ya know … you gotta speak up so she doesn’t end up like mine but do it lightly so that she’s not hateful .
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Welcome to the world of in laws. Be happy you’re getting one that is interested. It doesn’t sound like you live close to her so you are getting private time.
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I don’t think calling before the appointment is bad. But her being mad about it is a little too much. It sounds like she wants to be included in every little detail. Do what you feel is right.
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Setting clear boundaries is key to having a successful relationship with the MIL. Communicate clearly what you need and want. Your partner needs to be involved in communicating these boundaries to the MIL. And if she can’t or won’t respect them, then it’s your choice whether or not to continue to include them. Respect, boundaries and communication are key.
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