I started working on the weekends while my husband is working weekdays and going to school on Mondays and Wednesdays. I take care of our daughter all week, and he takes care of her on the weekends. We’re living in my inlaws till hopefully this December. The thing is my MIL is always on my husband’s back whenever he takes care of my daughter. He has some flaws that he needs to work on as he goes to playing games after he takes care of our daughter, and he knows that my MIL is taking care of our daughter. My MIL doesn’t like it; she wants him to watch her at all times plus do some chores. I understand that, but dads have different ways of taking care of their kids, and the same goes for the moms. My MIL wants me to just stay at home again, and my husband works every day. I wanna work at least a couple of days, to get out, to have me-time, to help provide and contribute to our family. But MIL doesn’t trust her own son to change and be a better father to our child. I know my husband relays on his parents most of the time. But that’s why we were trying to move out so we can have our own place and we can be more responsible. And especially, my husband needs to be more mature. Right now, his a bit immature and childish when I tell him my concerns, I ended up being a nagging and demanding wife. He’s not a bad husband and a father, but he has some flaws. My MIL said she’s suggesting those. But it doesn’t sound like it because she’s telling me what to do, and what should do. Idk why she can’t just tell him directly. I’m really tired of this. I hope we get approved for the apartment that we just apply. I don’t want to be in the middle between his mom and him.Plus add to that, she told me if anything happens to my daughter while my husband is taking care of her and he didn’t watch her or take care of her properly it’ll be my fault because she told me the things that I should do.
Why doesn’t she tell her son what to do, instead of you? Yes men parent differently than women but that doesnt mean he should depend on someone else to watch the kid when you’re at work. MIL needs to stop taking care of baby and make her son do it. If she steps away, im pretty sure your husband will step up and take care of his kid.
Let his mother be a mother… tell her to talk to him about it. He obviously needs help since he is playing games instead of taking care of his kid. And i have 3 kids never did the man not do all of what i do. There is not a different way to take care of the child.
Shes a bit brass about it but I think MIL might be trying to help. You said yourself your so is childish and immature yes? The fact shes coming to you instead of him is a respect thing. Your his partner and hold more sway. If hes lacking put your foot down. But also… You don’t have to follow all of her advice either. Take what you want from it.
She’s your ally right now, and you’re living in her home. Be kind. Be patient, and no matter what, DO NOT try to interfere in her relationship with her son. Let her keep “raising” him. He’s the one with the child. He needs to know how to parent full time. Hopefully he’ll do some growing up before you guys get your own place.
First off you’re living with the in laws, move or deal with it till you move. Secondly, stop nagging and compliment him when he does good, encourage NOT discourage. Work and save to move, also you can talk with the MIL and ask her to stop, and tell her that you will go to her first when you have questions regarding your relationship or children. Ask her if her MIL was doing the same to her as she does to you. Sometimes reflection on what someone is doing will open their eyes and they will stop. If it persists, let it roll till you’re moved out. Getting the hubby away from mommy might be the best thing you do, time will tell. If mommy is constantly on him, he doesn’t need you doing it also, you’re a team, not enemies…fight to get your own place and stand up for your man to his mom in front of him…not confrontation but pointing out something good that you admire to his mom in front of him. We all need encouragement to do better…he’s a work in progress, be his partner and support him. Men don’t do hints either, you want something you tell them, then act surprised because he did it and then thank them. I’ve been with my husband for over 20 yrs and we never fight, he treats me like a queen and we laugh daily…we are force against the outside world…create your own team with him and keep the world at bay! You won’t regret it…but moving is your first option! Good Luck!
Yep… leave it alone. They are adults
Just go to work. Smile. Work all you can. Hire a babysitter if you have to.
Hmmmm whered he learn his parenting skills from? Certainly not from you Let it go let them “hash it out”
Shes coming to you bc youre his wife. You should have more sway over his way of looking at things. If MIL goes to son hes going to see it as disrespectful. If hes truly immature and childish as you said getting away from his parents may help him grow up yes but its also going to put a strain on you. You then are going to seem to be the nagging wife that b*****s about everything… I pray God over your situation. Sounds like you all need some of Jesus in your lives.
This is a joke right???
Jeez she’s doing you a favour, clearly this man child needs to grow up.
Fathers take care of their kids differently?? Idk in what world you live but now on this days dads do the same thing that moms do, if they don’t know they have to lear, and that’s exactly what his mother is trying to do, teaching how to be a father, actually she is doing to you a favor I’m pretty sure that the reason because she suggests you to stay home is because she is not seeing any improvement as a responsible dad from his son to the child and she is the right to said whatever she wants because is her house advice??? If you don’t like it get out, that’s the only thing that you can do, unfortunately you can’t ask for anything when someone letting you living in their place for free or for a minimal amount of money, is not your house
I went through immaturity with my 1st husband. TRUST ME…GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!! You have 1 child to raise you don’t need 2 it can get pretty expensive!
First of all your mil needs to get her nose out of your budiness. Uare not between him and his mommy she has her nose between u and him by the time a man is married with a child it is time for mom to but out. Living there will likely distroy your marrage. If he is not ready to choose u and your child over mommy then he is a bad husband a father believe me u will get sick of mommy in the middle i was married 18 years mommy in the middle gets to be old shit. Marriage is 2 people not 3. The 2 of u made that baby and the 2 of u should raise that baby. Mom needs to buttt out
They both sound weird you poor woman I would leave a parenting class for hubby
Take his gaming cords with you like you would a kid. maybe that will make him man up
Wow…So his own mums telling you he needs to become a better dad AND allowing you ALL to live with her and that’s a huge problem?? Agree with every word she says,your leaving soon and if he’s as bad as she’s making out your going to need her! Absolutely no reason he’s not attentive to her just as much as you are.Bullshit.
Getting out is the only way to resolve this issue. As long as you live under her roof I would just smile and agree with her. But get out as fast as you can. You’re husband needs to be responsible for your kid and will never grow into his role as long as he has a crutch.
Where do you find these people?