I am sooo mad at my own mother right now…she was watching my daughter and my daughter went to grab a snack (she is 6) and my mom literally took it from her (it was a cookie) and gave her an apple instead telling my daughter “YOU ARE GETTING TOO BIG AND NEED TO START EATING HEALTHIER”…LIKE LITERALLY called my CHILD FAT. RIGHT TO HER FACE. she used to do the same thing to me as a kid and i thought we were over this…now my child is self consicious and i no longer want to send her there btu dont have another option…what do i even do about this? how do i let my daughter know she is perfect and her own grandma is wrong?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom called my daughter big to her face: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Idk I side with the grandma healthy eating and weight is very important.
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NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!!! “Grown people” do not need to bully 6 year Olds! There’s a right way to go about things and this wasn’t it!
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You just tell her. Everyday. But you also need to teach her about staying healthy I think.
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PUT HER IN HER PLACE RIGHT NOW. My grandmother did this to me and no one ever called her out on it. I’ve been screwed up over body image ever since
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Violence is definitely the answer here 
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Yes healthy eating is important but you really have to watch the message you deliver to a child and the way you say things because you can cause a really big self-esteem issue otherwise. I’m sorry your mother has no filter or compassion to a child’s feelings most don’t my dad was like this for as long as I can remember. Just continue to be a great mom and reassure her that she is beautiful and Worthy no matter what:heart:
And that would be the last time grandma would be around.
Also let her know she’s going to a terrible nursing home soon because she’s a terrible person.
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Boundaries need to be put in place , you’ve already suffered from your mom’s cruel words her delivery is definitely wrong and will create insecurities which I’m sure she created in you. You protect your babygirl speak affirmations to her tell her she’s beautiful loved healthy. I would call your mom out simply Mom do not speak to my child that way, yes we want need to be healthy but do NOT tear my daughter down in the process… try let’s have an apple first and a cookie later etc. We gotta eat our fruits and veggies so we can be big and strong etc. There’s a way to say things and your mom is OUT OF ORDER. Period. Hugs💞
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I’d be finding a different option. Ain’t no way would I let my child continue to go through this
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Speak with your mom & tell her there’s a right & wrong way to tell someone something. Although she was right her delivery was wrong.
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Well…she could have said it nicer but it is important to teach children to make good choices with food. I think telling her to have an apple instead of a cookie wasn’t bad. Maybe just talk to her about speaking of food on a positive way instead of personally attacking the child
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I think healthy eating is definitely the right choice but there are other ways to address the issue with a 6 yr old. I would talk it over with your mom. I’d say something along the lines like thank you for your concern and if you think there is an issue please talk to me about it and we can come up with a solution together. That way your mom doesn’t feel attacked and you can keep the peace so you don’t have to worry about what is going on when she’s with her
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I would defiantly side with grandma, it’s a health concern and eating healthy is important. I wouldn’t take it out of her hands but I wouldn’t offer a cookie to start with, I would just stress the importance of eating healthy. With kids you just got to go about it the right way.
I have a daughter that is 8 and we have to monitor what she eats because she is on the heavier side but we never tell her she is big. We just have rules about health-ish eating
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Reinforce to your daughter she is beautiful and perfect. And tell your mother not to talk to her own grandchild like that again. And I would immediately start looking for other childcare options.
She didn’t call your daughter fat. You did. She said “you’re getting big.” Grandma is looking out for her. She probably should have used different words, but trust me, teach them healthy habits now. If she develops weight problems, she’ll be miserable her whole life trying to manage it. She’ll have low self esteem, could be bullied etc. Plus all the health issues that come from poor diet.
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This is a biggggg no no in my home my mother never called her children fat but her own self and it has reflected onto both of her daughters I have always hated my body but due to me having a daughter my husband told me I have to love myself to show my daughter to always love herself it can affect a kid for the rest of their life due to a person especially family commenting on her body I’d explain to your mother that you are breaking this cycle she caused and you are very upset about the comment said to your little girl that if she can not accept how you feel and not do it again you will not allow her around her or find a different baby sitter due to her ignorance and rudeness because it is not okay and can mentally affect your baby girl
Sounds like you need to try to figure out another option. There is always another option. It might make things harder for you, but in the long run it will be so much worse if she gets messed up in the head from being constantly put down!
There couldve been a nicer way of saying it .
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It isn’t grandma’s place to judge your child’s weight.
She can be perfect, and beautiful, and fat. Fat isn’t a bad word unless we allow it. If you don’t want subjects like weight addressed, then tell grandma it’s not allowed.
Starting to eat healthy at a young age is very important, especially if the eating habits are already bad…but she should not have done it in that manner.
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Yeah there’s no way I would allow her to mentally, emotionally and verbally abuse my child… if you want a child to eat healthier, there’s ways of offering healthy snacks without criticizing…there’s absolutely no excuse. Those type of words stick with adults let alone children…this kind of rhetoric leads to eating disorders and mental health problems…smh unacceptable
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She would definitely be going to the nursing home when she’s older
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And this is why I have no contact with certain people
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Tell her she does it again it will be the last time she sees her. Hurting your child’s feelings is a no no .
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You should have a talk with your mother and your mother should apologize to her and tell her she was wrong for saying that about her
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That’d be the last time that person would ever see my kid.
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Figure out another plan, mama. Grandma should not be watching this child.
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I would confront your mom about that toxic behaviour
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Omg so wrong, my mom snacks etc and is a bigger women she encourages my 10 year old to eat and eat good my daughter is 10 about 80 lbs and is so happy with her body and she’s so beautiful too
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Poor child is going to develop an eating disorder…. Anyone who thinks this is acceptable needs a fucking reality check.
TEACHING healthy eating is good. Telling a CHILD they are getting TOO BIG is WRONG! Something like hey I’m going to start eating healthier because it’s good for our body want to join me? Hey I’m going for a walk because it’s good for my body want to join? That’s the right way!
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Your child will not break! If it is the truth there was nothing wrong with that!
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Find someone else to watch your daughter. That is the best option or it will continue to get worse
Why is eating healthier not better. I agree with the mother.
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You have every right to be upset & shouldn’t allow anyone to make your child feel bad. Although your mother went about it in a wrong way I don’t find it wrong for her to offer healthier options if she does have concern for her weight/health.
You stated yourself your daughter is already self conscious about her body so as her parent it is your job to show her ways in which she can maintain a healthier lifestyle.
As my kids pediatrician said to me if and when concerned about your child’s weight it is more beneficial to push them towards more physical activity than it is to introduce an entire diet to a child. Of course do the simple things like reasonable portion controls and healthier options as opposed to placing strict diet restrictions on them
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Oh hell flipping no. I literally just had this argument with my son’s father because he was fat shaming my boy. 
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Say something on the spot. If someone says something to my kid I don’t like I deal with it right then and there. It corrects the situation and also lets your daughter know that’s not okay and that you have her back.
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Talk to your mom and tell her she needs to be mindful of the wording she uses about this subject. She can cause a lot of damage with your daughters self image and her relationship with food. Tell her if it doesn’t change then she will have limited or supervised visitation so you can monitor the situation. If she doesn’t comply then Find other arrangements so grandma isn’t watching her anymore
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Maybe try to tell her that she meant as you get older it’s important to eat healthy to make sure you big and strong and your body gets enough nutrients. We all know what she meant but maybe your child is young enough to be able to fudge that for her.
As for your mom I’d flip my shit and cut off all communication if she does it one more time. Maybe even supervised visits only until you’re feeling comfortable with her being alone.
Lol my mom did this to me when I was a kid and ended up with a horrible eating disorder as a teen. Talk to your mom about it, if she says you’re over reacting, explain to her why it upsets you.
Did your daughter get upset about it? If so, have her talk to grandma about how it made her feel.
This comment section did not pass the vibe check.
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Tell her absolutely no ones opinions, except her own, about her body matter, esp not some evil old witch.
As her nicely not to call her fat… give her healthy choices but no name calling… if it keeps up try to Gina a new sitter….is your mother fat?
Gotta break the toxic cycle. Considering if she was a smaller built child her grandmother wouldn’t have done this and allowed the child to eat the cookie it sounds, has nothing to do with healthy eating and everything to do with body shaming her own grand child. I would personally make it work so my child wasn’t there anymore.
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She is too abrasive with her nutrition advice. I coulnt send my kid back there after that tho if she was worried about it insulting the child isnt the answer. I would have been 
if my fam said that to me as a teen
That’s why we have so many over weight people. She could of said honey let’s eat the apple it’s better for you. Get rid of the junk food
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your mom wasn’t really wrong but her “delivery” was definitely wrong. Children do need help making healthy choices but should NOT be fat shamed. I always tried to keep less bad foods and more healthy choices in my home when my girls were young, I have always struggled with my weight and did not want that for my girls.
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That is quite toxic behaviour. Something similar happen to me. I still very insecure on my figure, mostly because of my Mother and others that bullied me.
I think you need to have a deep conversation with your mother. Although eating healthy is good for your life. Detonating someone’s self estimate is not. I hope the granny can change her ways and say it to her in a different way.
Comment sections a joke. Be furious.
Anyone did this to my child, they wouldn’t see her again
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I’m 65 years old and I remember my Mom telling me I was getting too big! It crushed me!!! My Dad was standing near by and he told my Mom to leave me alone that I was perfect!! Her comment really affected me my whole life! The GrandMother should be ashamed of herself!!!
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I would make your mom apologize for making your child feel less all because she’s bigger. There’s better ways than snatching it from them and saying she is too big. That is now a seed she planted in your daughter and she will remember that for forever and think fat= bad. You can be fat & healthy. We need to educate kids not belittle them that’s something a grown woman such as your mom should know. I’m sorry that happened I hope it gets better 
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As someone who developed an unhealthy relationship with food due to my parents calling me fat and judging everything I put in my mouth and all the snide comments – get that girl away from your mother. I’d rather the hassle of finding someone new to watch her versus her confidence and self love being destroyed.
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First of all, she is WRONG, but also completely IGNORANT about children’s physically development. It sounds like she has personal issues she needs to deal with instead of taking her frustrations out on her grandchild. Doesn’t sound like someone who respects BOUNDARIES. You would be justified to limit the type and amount of interaction she has with your daughter IMO.
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Don’t imply to the child that big means fat. Lots of kids view big as grown up or adult. Def talk to your mother mention that’s not okay and if it continues she will not be around your daughter like that
I’d honestly try talkin to them both and yourself. Tell mom that she needs to word things differently. Like “hey cookies are too sweet for a snack lets have an apple instead”. It still lets her eat without giving her sweets which children aren’t required to have for every snack. Its bad for them anyway. Tell your daughter that same thing and tell her to love herself regardless of who thinks what about her. Tell her good body image things daily. Like “you’re perfect” or something always. Third, talk to yourself. Do not project your insecurities with your body or your childhood onto her. Do not have conversations about this issue with mom in front of her or with her listening. It will only cause extra undo anxiety for her as she is the child in all this. The adults in her life should be positive and uplifting her and doing the same for themselves. If you’re always snacking on cookies and then in turn downing on your own body, she is watching that and shes redoing the cycle within herself. You should all be more aware of eating habits if she is indeed getting a little out of hand with her weight( as in not at a healthy weight for her height and age or if shes becoming less active etc). We don’t know what your day to day lives are but by this piece of the story…that is my take on it.
Oh hell nooooo!!! I would be furious!
I definitely don’t agree with saying your child is big at all. Teaching a child about healthier choices isn’t wrong. There’s a right way and a wrong way. I am very strict with unhealthy foods in my house. I do have special snacks but I’ve found that when my children watch me eat healthy (mine are 3) they choose to eat healthy as well. I am VERY active and want to be in better shape for my family. My children have healthy snacks that are available at all times. Apples, bananns, grapes, peaches, grapefruit and protein bars. The unhealthy version is put up and thet get them at appropriate times. I’d talk with your mom and express how you feel and how that wasn’t an appropriate way to talk to your child or any child.
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Tell her exactly that and go over how to handle it and respond properly. My mil was bad mouthing me to my son and I told him good nice people don’t talk about other people behind their backs. He told her that the next time she started, she wasn’t happy and confronted her son because she is too chicken to say anything to me.
I would not make a big thing out of it because thats where children will get a complex about it. But tell your mum if she has issues with anything in regards to your daughter she is to bring it to you and not the six year old.
I’m with the minority I guess. I grew up fat and while body positivity and all that is good, its not good to be a plus size kid. Its hard to keep up with your peers in physical activities, its harder to find cute clothes, and to top it off, kids are just mean. Just because all the adults now a days are celebrating being plus size it doesn’t meant the kids are. I ended up losing 180 lbs when I was 26 and it was the most liberating and amazing thing I’ve ever done. It was just with hard work, diet and exercise. I felt accomplished and was able to do so many things I couldn’t do before. Maybe the grandma went about it the wrong way but she isn’t wrong to want the kid to be healthy.
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She should’ve said it in a nicer way and not told her she’s too big. As someone who struggled with my weight all my life j try to watch what I say to my son when I want him to stop eating chips or a junky snack. I tell him everything is ok in moderation but we don’t need to eat too much because we need to stay healthy.
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Don’t let her watch her alone again, that’s horrible
Truth hurts sometimes! Teach her to deal with criticism as it is a major part of life!!
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This comment section is so unbelievably sad. This is why we have thousands of young girls on ED wards across the country. Yall really need to do some research into the harm what your suggesting actually causes.
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My ex mother Inlaw called my son big to his face at the Age of 12 sure he was stocky and plump ever since birth but his uncles were all big boned so to speak. He didn’t talk to her for 2 yrs cos he was upset I told her he would grow out of it and at 14 he still bulky but taller and she had since passed away. It’s just rude
Your mom was wrong. However, it is your duty to teach your daughter good eating habits to prevent her from getting bigger. If you think your mom hurt her feelings think ahead to how mean kids can be to over weight kids. My sister was extremly over weight and I remember still how the other kids made her feel with name calling and rude jokes.
Try feeding her healthier. Not make it about her weight. Let her be more active outside. Yes your mother shouldn’t have been so blunt. It wasn’t nice. But since it was said, just do better.
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She wouldn’t be seeing my child until she apologizes. Obviously treats in moderation are okay, and shaming someone about it makes it a million times worse. Give her hugs and kisses and words of praise in regards to who she is as a person and not what her body looks like.
Dont send her there 
Absolutely not. Growing children (everybody really but especially growing children) do not need comments on their body. Grandma would be giving baby girl an apology and made aware that if comments regarding her weight are made again, she won’t need to worry about her weight because she won’t be seeing her until she learned her lesson.
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This is a hard situation but first off your mom didn’t literally call her fat she told her she is getting big so calm down and breath. Yes she shouldn’t have said it that way to your daughter however eating healthy at a young age is important. If she is indeed over weight you should be encouraging healthy food habits too. I would explain to your mom that you will work on her healthy eating habits however you do not appreciate her talking to your daughter that way. Tell her it hurt her feelings and you would appreciate it if she would apologize to your daughter. Also tell her if she has a problem with her weight and what she is eating she needs to talk to you not your daughter.
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You can be healthy and have a cookie or any other treat. 
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i dealt w this same thing from my grandma as a kid. i ended up with an ED at age like 14/15 bc i was constantly self conscious of how i looked and how my body looked, still am to this day.
don’t allow her to talk to your daughter that way. explain to her that saying things like that, especially to a 6 year old has a lot of effects to their mental health.
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My daughter is 6 as well and a bit on the chunky side. She’s always been chunky since birth. I’m a plus size woman as well. Always have been. My mom was a heavy woman for a few years when I was young but has been thin since. She didn’t really console me about being body confident and positive about myself. Something I’ve had to learn on my own and it’s something I’ve always been positive about with my daughter. No she’s not the healthiest eater, very picky like other kids. But I’ve always been body positive with her and in the picture, it really shows that. It’s so much more easier in this day and age to be positive and show positive plus size women to my daughter. Plus size models and actresses are so more well known now and my daughter sees that. Yeah she’s got her bad days or the kids on the bus are a little too harsh. But I’m always there to remind her that she is and always will be beautiful, no matter her size.
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Tell your mom in no uncertain terms that she is crossing boundaries and has no right to do that. Don’t allow it. The baby sitting is a definite problem and your mom loves her and is only looking out for her health. Nevertheless, she is not allowed to humiliate your child inn any way!!!
I’m a grandmother this is actually harmless. And they should be having fruit over junk. Maybe she does not want her to be picked on
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People on here telling the op to do better ect ect, how do you know she doesn’t eat healthy most of the time. No where in this post does op state her child might be over weight or on the big side ect She just said her mum made a nasty comment about her daughter and snatched the cookie away, … I’m seriously shocked by some reply on here.
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The only suggestion I have is literally telling her she is beautiful/worthy/valid DAILY. Take her on little aelf care days where you both get your hair and/or nails done, and a special treat. This breaks my heart for her. She’s young. That type of stuff can stick with kids and cause eating disorders. Shame on your mom fr fr:angry:
If the child has poor eating habits and gaining weight shouldn’t something be done about it gramal might have been a little blunt by today’s level of sensitivity but truth can hurt sometimes maybe it’s time to have a discussion with your daughter about healthy eating and prepare her for either changing her habits or toughing her up to what others may say because as terrible as bullying is children will say things it may not be fair or right but probably unavoidable somewhere down the road build her self esteem and confidence in who she is. So comments intentional or not will not upset her.
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Some of these comments are downright disgusting. While eating habits are important, and I do believe they should be instilled young, it’s critical to go about it in a positive way. Provide alternatives, watch the words you use, etc. She’s only 6 years old, and the way she views herself is fragile. It’d be so easy to drive her to an eating disorder.
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My grandson just turned 3 and he weighs 40lbs. I am a diabetic and we eat healthy ,some people are just going to be bigger than other’s. It’s part of life. I have a 5 year old granddaughter that doesn’t weigh as much him same parents. She would be what I consider tiny and is the smallest kid in the class. I would talk to your Momma and tell her how you feel and how you felt as child. Eating healthy is a good thing, but it doesn’t mean she’s going to be skinny. We’re all different sizes and don’t need to be self conscious about it she’s too young to end up getting a complex.
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And adult bulling a kid is just wrong , She could just have told her the important about eating healthy with out hurting her feelings
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Idk, I’m conflicted. While the way she went about it is completely wrong, hurtful, and demeaning it doesnt mean she’s not right. Judging by the fact that she reached for a cookie over anything else tells me that’s normal for the child. Good eating habits start young which clearly isn’t happening here. That said “big” doesn’t have to mean fat and could have been played off in the moment. One comment shouldn’t have ruined a six year old confidence so I’ll bet she will bounce right back. Just remind her daily how strong, kind, and beautiful she is.
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She is dead wrong. She should I spoken to you, if she was so concerned about her weight. She is a child. She is YOUR child. Never, ever address a child like that. This is coming from an adult who has suffered from an eating disorder and dysmorphia because ADULTS would address my weight (to my face) as a child.
To the mother, continue to love on your child. Continue to express to her that she is beautiful just the way God created her to be.
I’d honestly have some choice words with your mom about how she’s making not only you but your daughter feel. And that it’s not okay and that if she continues it she won’t be in yours or her granddaughters life.
You do have another option, there are places everywhere that can help and also assistance that can help if you can’t afford it. If your mother did that to you then you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s doing it again.
Well she didn’t specifically say she was fat ,you said that,but you can still have treats sometimes and be healthy and I would ask her to apologize because hearing those things can be very hurtful for young kids
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Cut her out of that child’s life before she does more damage.
My grandmother was the same way with me, and my mother never stepped in (I learned later that she’d been the same with my mom when she was a girl). She would even “gift” me things like workout videos and Nutrisystem for Christmas and birthdays AS A CHILD!! To this day I have a dysfunctional relationship with food.
Some of these comments are downright disgusting. While eating habits are important, and I do believe they should be instilled young, it’s critical to go about it in a positive way. Provide alternatives, watch the words you use, etc. She’s only 6 years old, and the way she views herself is fragile. It’d be so easy to drive her to an eating disorder.
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As some one with an ED let me tell the people who’s saying that what’s she’s done is harmless… is infact extremely harmful! There are deffo ways to encourage children to eat healthy without telling them they are “big”
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I see peop ln d out here who feed their kids inhealthy and their youth snd mobility is taken from them. Literally Beach Whales unhealthy.
The work is MUCH CREULER then GRANDMA.
I dont hear a word about your daughters health or mobility
Start parenting your child and make dure dhe m aas kes it to 18 in good shsoe and with out an eating addiction
I guess I’m a bad mom I tell my kid everyday she’s on the chunky side she needs to stay more active and get off her damn phone and go outside and play or she’s gonna end up like I did and I do want that for her I’m straight up up with ny kids and I tell then all the time eat fruit or veggies over snack cakes and junk food or drinks…drink water if ya thirsty…coddled kids are the worst lol 
As a person who was a chubby child and not encouraged to avoid unhealthy foods having a mother who rewarded me for being good with food who gave me food when I was sad making me clean my plate I wish someone would have been there to say you need to eat healthier and teach me better eating habbits. Maybe I woukd not have gotten up over 300 pounds with a life long struggle of food addiction. You should talk to your mom about how hurtful the way she said it but listen when it comes to eating healthier.
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Put firm boundaries in place. Be direct and firm, cut off if need be. Your daughter doesn’t need to be told she’s fat by a relative and if your mother doesn’t apologise to her, apologise for her and cut her off for a while. What a gronk who even says that about their grandchild.
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That’s emotional damage for your daughter the way she went about it and your daughter will always remember that! I would definitely have a talk about it with your mom because how it can effect your daughter and how it effected you!
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