Daycare!!! It’s not as bad as you think! There are ones you can watch your kid all day if you want! Kids n us. Mom can do whatever now and you don’t have to worry about it:)
1 Like
Id maybe set a boundry on the money with her that works for both of you and not give more than that so its not breaking your bank and shes not taking advantage but id also try to have a set schedule with work and tell her if you pay her more you expect her to work those exact days and for her trips she needs to “request” those days off with you just like a normal job would. When my parents watched my daughter like 6yrs ago I paid my moms phone bill and $100 a week
1 Like
Find someone else to babysit.
2 Likes
I gave my in laws $100 a week to watch my daughter and i was only working 3 days a week. And they had her 2 of those 3 days, my husband had the other 1.
1 Like
Your mom is doing you a favor by watching them. A normal babysitter or daycare would charge a crap ton more. Just because she’s your mom doesn’t make her time nor valuable.
3 Likes
Boy, you are interesting. A daycare would cost tons more than what you are paying for now. You don’t seem to feel that anyone has anything going on except you. If you had a daycare they would expect you to work around the time slots they had available or find another daycare. That’s life in the fast lane cupcake. Your mom isn’t the unreasonable one, you are.
8 Likes
I watch my granddaughter for free…I’d never charge…my mom always watched my kids for free…
2 Likes
I would never take payment for looking after my grandson, I willingly have him 3 days a week while his parents work
3 Likes
I think you should think of how much you’d spend in a daycare. Now of course the point of having her watch your child is to save but to only pay her 20-40 bucks is a joke. I wouldn’t watch your kid.
2 Likes
Its a tough situation. I would say pay her a little more then what you are doing (about $100 a week) but also talk to her about the other things you are giving her money for. If she isn’t working and you are paying for it then that money should be taken from the babysitting money. If she has a married boyfriend then maybe he should be helping her instead (which is wrong for her to even see him if he’s married to someone else!)
But I would talk to her and tell her that she should work it out with you on what days would work for her appointments so she can schedule around the babysitting or give you time to prepare for her to be gone. Its not that hard to schedule a month or even 3 months ahead for an appointment.
Some people can be stubborn and seeing its your mom, she might be bold about her own decisions, so stay positive to what you want for your child!!
Its not about you or her, its about your child!
Flip your mum is nice. Of course you have to work around her, she’s doing you a favour and your paying her next to nothing. I’m not saying you give her a full wage but omg show her you appreciate her. If my mum did mind my kids, which she point blank refuses to do, I’d definitely pay her. I’ve even told my kids when they have children ill help out but no way am I gona be minding them all the time. You choose to have children then you take all that comes with it.
Maybe you should get another sitter I think you are getting off cheap you know your baby is not getting treated badly day care i won’t trust or quit your job and take care of your baby
Those are your children not hers. So what if she does not work or have a married boyfriend? Her time is hers!! You sound like an ungrateful entitled brat!! Shame on you!!! Find a baby sitter. Work around the hours they can work for you. Leave you mom alone.
2 Likes
I think a lot of you guys are missing the main point here. Her mom shouldn’t be requesting all these things from her. She’s being paid to babysit- nothing extra should need to be given. If her mom doesn’t feel like what she’s being paid is good enough then she should talk with her daughter about it and be upfront with a $ amount she feels is sufficient and if an agreement is made then that’s it- no expecting anything else. In my experience, it’s easier to have someone else watch your child though. We found stay at home moms in our area and did a meet and greet with them before leaving our son there. So much less stress doing that over having my mother in law at our house watching him. Of course the transition was rough- we got a lot of shit for switching- but I wouldn’t go back. If you can’t afford a daycare maybe try finding a stay at home mom who wouldn’t mind some extra cash and another child.
5 Likes
I watch not my grandsons for both my girls and I’m lucky if i get a day off. I don’t get paid but do require the girls to buy what the boys need, food, diapers, pay for activities etc… They also take time off if I have an appointment that can’t be rearranged around their work schedule. If I need to take a weekend away to visit friends ( not lately due to covid) they work that out. Talk to your mom and see what can be worked out or work an opposite schedule than your husband so one of you can be home with the child.
Get another job like everyone else. She at least deserves $100/week. You’re taking advantage of her
7 Likes
Are you serious?!? Your mother isn’t an on-demand automatic free babysitter for you 
She has a life as well. One you sound jealous of, frankly. YOU made the choice to have your children, not her. If she decides to watch after your kids for the pittance you already pay her, then that’s her gift to you. She isn’t required to babysit. Her life doesn’t stop because it’s inconvenient for you.
8 Likes
Unfortunately I don’t have child cafe or any type of babysitter if there was ever and emergency. My dad used to watch my kids for me and I paid him and everything was fine he was my neighbor so he didn’t have to travel or anything and my kids loved it but he moved and his health is bad. So unfortunately I only work part time now and I leave for work when my boyfriend gets hoke from work and I come home when they are all in bed. It works but it does have its draw back like we never have alone time don’t see each other much but it’s what works for now.
If grandma was a licensed daycare provider it would cost around 400 plus a month
2 Likes
Tell her a set price a week and if she cant watch her during your work hours without the complaining then you will find other means of childcare! I get she is your mom but if she wants to do it then she has to do it those set hours! If not, find a friend to do it…
3 Likes
So I would tell you to start paying her a regular babysitting fee but then let her know since she is being paid for a job to be done that her schedule will have to work around her job just like anyone else’s. But you for sure need to start paying her regularly. She is doing you the favor so give her the choice, but either way its very unfair of you to just assume she needs to do this for free and be committed like it was a real job when you arent paying her. So she can either choose to continue taking whatever trips she wants whenever she wants or to be paid and work around yalls schedule for the trips
3 Likes
She’s already raised her children, pay her what she wants, baby sitting is a JOB.
9 Likes
Funny you have to mention your mother has a married boyfriend. You know you are trying to make her sound bad so you can TRY to make yourself sound better. You should get daycare and stop batching about everything.
6 Likes
I guess I’m a spoiled bitch too my mom watched my daughter for free I did tell her I will pay you for looking after her she told me no. She told me “my job of being a parent will never stop even if it means looking after your little one. She is my family and the love of my life and I want to see you succeed in life and make a better living for yourself.” Now another scenario that I wanna talk about is one of my family members. She was a single mom and worked 2 jobs too and she told her step mother her situation and the step mother told her I’ll look after your son if you pay my phone bill which was $50 a month. Now that her step mom was getting paid she had to report to her like as if it’s a job and barely took off. Now if your looking for daycare and making it affordable try to ask the daycare if they accept CCIS. If they do go to welfare they will give you a packet for affordable childcare and fill it out send it to designated building then your done.
Have a conversation reach an agreement that’s mutually beneficial
1 Like
I think it’s different for different families. But me personally, my kids adoptive nana will not accept any form of payment. To her, payment is spending precious time with sweet babies. Payment is watching me get a full nights rest. Payment for her is her helping make me a mom that’s not burnt out to the max. It’s a selfless act. She would communicate with me if she is tired and she would go home. I would never take advantage of her energy because they aren’t her kids. She recently quit her job to spend more time with her grandbaby’s. It was her choice. I don’t think money should be involved when it comes to family. It takes away the magic💫
NPD MOTHER sounds like. You will never make her happy. They expect you to do w/o. She should be getting a income. If she has no husband. Oh well. You have your own family. I find some one else. To watch baby. Cut ties, give each other a break. see what happens.
I gave my mother my babysitting money when i was a teen. Till just last year. I don’t no more.
1 Like
I’m on a fixed income and wherever I need a sitter I pay my mom $40 for every day of the week that she watches my kid. So if she watched her 4 days that’s $160 just for that week and so on. Baby sitting is a job
5 Likes
First, I would get another babysitter you feel you can trust. Second, your family comes first. Your mother has had her time in life and needs to take responsibility for herself. You don’t need to support her unless it is really really needed.
2 Likes
Your mother throws tempert tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and she guilt trips you into doing things for her. She sounds like a toddler about to hit menopause. Your mother is passing the fit throwing qualities on to your daughter every single day she watches her. Monkey see, monkey do. Your problems are just beginning if you keep her as a babysitter.
2 Likes
Pay her what a babysitter gets paid, $120 to $150 a week per child and tell her that’s all she is getting, and nothing more, paying her$20 to $40 week, better be for a few hours, no wonder she wants more…
3 Likes
You should be grateful . She’s raised her kids. $20 to $40 a week ? Check daycare. She shouldn’t be expected to live her life around your schedule. I dont agree with the extras but if you were paying her more maybe she wouldn’t ask for the extras .
4 Likes
You have a choice this is America if you don’t like it change it and stop complaining and be thankful she even helps you at all
6 Likes
Find someone else! I hope that helps.
grandmas should not be requiring payment to spend time with their grandchildren
1 Like
Get a new babysitter.
1 Like
She is doing a JOB. Pay her!
4 Likes
Umm I wouldn’t want an adult that irresponsible or impulsive caring for my child. Look into 4C in your area they will help cover the costs of daycare. She isn’t even consistent. Get real childcare there are programs to help with costs.
2 Likes
What it portraits that you’re explaining is toxic behavior, children mimmick what they see. Just an outside input. I would look into a daycare if that was my situation. You can pull background checks, social media search, ect to find a good suit for your babe.
Look for another sitter. Do interviews and hire the one your heart trust and likes
Pay a daycare then. Stop sniveling or get over your 'terror" and pull on your big girl panties. You are now the MOM, not the CHILD. I hope someone sees this and shares it with your mom. She needs to let you grow up and you are an ingrate anyway.
4 Likes
Find an in home sitter or daycare.
OR keep your mom and be miserable.
As someone who’s been in a similar situation. No I am not entitled nor ungrateful. I appreciated my moms help always & payed her what i could at the time. If the situation with your mom is bad just hire a nanny. But do interviews, make sure they have references. Follow up with those references & make sure everything checks out. & if possible background checks as well. Invest in cameras for your home, where you & your BF can check from your own phones when needed. It may cost some money but it’s worth it to put your mind at ease.
How old is your daughter? If you’re that unhappy, maybe it’s time for daycare. The advantages of that are your daughter will get to socialize with other children her age, learn play skills, cooperation, etc. The disadvantage is that it will cost more.
1 Like
40 for fulltime which I’m assuming is 40hrs is ridiculously cheap and worth the bs
3 Likes
Is this a joke? Lol. Pay for a babysitter if you don’t wanna haggle with your mom… im sure paying 400 a week would be better for you
2 Likes
She needs to get a full time job! She lives with her mom, she uses her mom’s car. Seem to me that her mommy is already doing alot for her and she expects you to do the same thing! She needs to grow up and act her age come on!
1 Like
Sounds like your mom may be stopping her life to help raise children. Pretty sure she has already done that. Pay her or get daycare set up. Us grandparents don’t mind helping out but we are gonna live our life on our terms not someone else’s. Talk to her, with the bickering though seems taking care of kids is a thing of the past for her. Just expect her to be grandma that’s it. Good luck
2 Likes
You are blessed to have a mom let alone one willing to babysit
That is a very difficult job I believe she is under paid and under appreciated
She comes to your house think about that what a convenience
You need to check your self
3 Likes
I see a lot of people saying grandparents shouldn’t be paid to watch their grandkids. Its different if they’re watching them a few hours out the day or a day or two out of the week. But 40+ hours a week is different. You should either pay her like you would a baby sitter or spend more money with a day care. Of course she’s going to want days to herself to go see her boyfriend or go to appointments. She doesn’t work for you she can do what she wants and if she looks at you and says she’s done being your free nanny then oh well. You’re either going to have to find a day care to work with your schedule or you might end up having to work your schedule around a daycare. She done her job raising you she shouldn’t be expected to raise your kid as well. She asks for stuff at the store? Is buying her something so hard when you don’t even pay her for giving up her life to watch your kid full time? You should be grateful and I don’t blame her if she gets upset because you are using her.
8 Likes
And the fact that your living with your boyfriend setting a bad example of a righteous woman well
1 Like
What… $20? Lmao I wish.
2 Likes
One you are not paying her enough to watch your child. Daycare is not free no matter who is doing it. If I was your mother I wouldnt watch her and take the time to get a “real job” and help herself. $20 a week are you kidding me? Sounds like you are using her more than anything.
6 Likes
You sound like an entitled little BRAT.
5 Likes
I work as a Nanny. I also watched my grandson every night for two years while my DIL was taking night classes and my son worked nights. Never did I EVERY expect nor want to be paid for the time I spent with my grandchild even though caring for little ones was my job. I also would watch him every other weekend so my son and DIL could have some alone time. Again… Never expected nor wanted to be paid. Spending time with your grandkids is a gift!
7 Likes
My mom watch are daughter. I help her out when she needs these. Like income tax we will get her a living room suit. And I took her shopping brought her clothes. It all depends want your mom wants. You could give her 7500 a week that is still cheaper than s daycare.
You just told a national audience, that your mom has a married boyfriend. Then, you expect any of us to side with you as an adult? Asking for an adult answer in an adult situation? You’re kidding, right? You can’t afford real daycare." Um, is your mom providing pretend daycare? You said you don’t trust anyone else. Well, that is HARD to come by. So lemme see if I have this straight. You want your mom to provide full time, loving, trusted daycare. In return, you don’t want to pay anything. She’s not allowed to go to doc appointments, or anything else that every other human being on our planet has to do. She can’t have a social life, unless it fits your schedule. Aaaannnd…you want her to awaken each day, kissing the very ground you walk on, because you are so gracious, as to allow her to play grandma ALL THE TIME, and clearly, MOM…cause you have absolutely no idea what adult or parental responsibility is. I would do absolutely nothing for you. You can sink or swim. You’re so damn lucky that she loves you and her granddaughter so much! I have 6 grandchildren. I never babysit. I do, sure as hell, spend the day/night/week, enjoying every moment with with them, every time the opportunity arises. My 31 yo daughter lives in my neighborhood. I spend a lot of time with my 2 granddaughters. And my daughter appreciates the hell out of it. For once, I’m not asking myself why you don’t have a friend who can provide childcare…but you should be asking you.
7 Likes
Sounds like a lot going on in the back story and I see both sides. We tend to expect our parents (especially moms) to watch the grandkids for free or very little. It’s greatvwhen this works out for everyone involved but truth is, your mom isn’t responsible or required to watch your kid, paid or not. Also, babysitting (even grandkids you love) is still work so she has a right to ask for financial compensation.
1 Like
I’d personally cut out the middle man and pay someone else. I dont think mixing money and family is a wise decision - too close to home for me.
2 Likes
I think you should be giving your mom more IMO.
3 Likes
My advice would be to get a babysitter and pay them an appropriate rate of pay instead of using your mother.
2 Likes
It is your responsibility to take care of your daughter.
2 Likes
Find another babysitter and don’t ask for nothing from her. It’s your responsibility and your kid ! It’ll b 100% better at the end. U will have a better relationship with her at the end. So that’s my advice and as far as her relationship stay out of it that will keep her out of yours !!
2 Likes
Do you have any idea how much daycare cost. It doesn’t come close to what you are paying your mother. You should’ve more thankful for what she does for you
3 Likes
I pay my mum just to drive my daughter to one dance class a week. You have it good. She’s doing you a favour!
3 Likes
Have you priced out childcare?
1 Like
I think you should just go through a daycare or pay your mom what you would for a daycare. Why is it that we always have less respect for the people we say we love than for total strangers? You should totally be working around her schedule and kissing her ass. If you don’t want to do that then get another sitter you might have more respect for.
2 Likes
You need to go get day care and pay for it.
You ungreatfull shmuck
Grrrrrrrt
Your mother has a life too and sorry to say but you had that baby and ultimately you flipping responsibility.
And by the way you have just caused issues and don’t winge if your Mum gets the shits.
You are just plain nasty.
And what’s more something tells me you are earning well.
Because you can get assistance from Centrelink.
And if you haven’t asked,. That’s your fault.
Love your Mum and stop using her because we aren’t around for ever.
3 Likes
Your mum has had her day looking after her siblings, I recon its rude to ask mums to babysit. If the mum volunteers thats good. Stay home and look after your babies as we did.
2 Likes
One word, Entitlement,do resource about baby sister I paid mine baby sister 75 a wk that was only for 2 hr a day for 5 day,that was 20 year😂get real!!!Appreciate!
Grandmothers are child care providers they are there to give above and beyond normal parental duties (that’s how I look at it I will never give my parents the voice to ever say I do this and that for you and your kids) if you spend the money anyway, get a sitter… care.com plenty of other places to look before daycare
I watch my grandsons and love it. I’m glad I’m able to. I recently asked to have my gas covered they were glad to do this. I think it should be a mutual understanding . Childcare is very expensive when I have an appointment we work out our schedules ahead of time so everything works smoothly. Open communication of what’s expected from both sides is crucial. If you can’t reach an agreement you probably should make other arrangements. Sit down and talk about what you need see what she’s willing to do.
Be bloody grateful she is looking after your daughter is what I think …
You need to be paying her more. And as someone who baby-sits you definitely need to work around her schedule. Personally some appointments and all errands I can bring my niece with us but there’s some appointments that I cannot and on those ones I don’t keep her. They get told in advance so they can get something else set in place for that day.
I would not help you with that if I was your mom , get another job or send your boyfriend to get another job to pay for childcare
You’d be better off hiring a babysitter. That way she can live her life the way she wants and there is no guilt for buying yourself something. Everyone wins!
7 Likes
You’re paying pennies for someone you trust your kid with. I would expect some form of hassle in return for how little you’re paying for child care.
4 Likes
Taking care of children is a profession for many, to have peace of mind that your child is in a safe environment , that you are considering paying for a daycare you can’t afford but aren’t willing to pay your mum,doesn’t seem right. Your mum is using her free time to take care of your baby obviously because she loves you both. Compensating her somehow, maybe paying a bill or sorting her groceries or little additional things I’m sure would be appreciated. You can’t put a price on your baby’s safety.
1 Like
Well I babysit for my children sometimes. I don’t expect pay! It’s a privilege to be with my grandchildren. You need to tell your mom to get a job if she wants things. She had her day, now it’s your time to get things you work hard for! Just because she is your mother doesn’t give her the right to sponge off you. She should be happy someone is watching her grandchild and you gave that honor to her. Sit her down and tell her. Why did she have children??? Don’t feel bad you are the one who is right. Check other options for babysitting if you have too!!! Good luck😋
2 Likes
So, if your mother was not doing this for you your child would be in daycare and you would be paying for that. I happily pay my mother $600+ every month to watch my daughter while I am working so SOME STRANGER at a daycare isn’t watching her. But hey, if paying your mom $20-$40 a day to drive to YOUR HOUSE and care for YOUR CHILD is such an inconvenience for you then you should probably consider putting your child in a daycare with a bunch of strangers 
3 Likes
It’s not your moms job to be free child care for a kid you chose to have. Sounds like she’s doing you a huge favor and you should very much appreciate her willingness to do that for you for literally nothing (as you said, the gas you pay her is just to get to and from your house)
5 Likes
You should be paying her for babysitting regardless of her financial situation! If you weren’t using her you’d have to pay for day care. As far as working around her schedule maybe you should put your child in day care certain days of the week & she can babysit the other days.
1 Like
It’s not a grandparents job to raise the grandkids full time. They’ve raised their children and there’s a big difference between visiting for a few hours a week and having them more than their parents. If your mother is having your children whilst you work full time then shes going above and beyond by basically giving up her life to take care of your responsibilities for nothing. If she’s willing to do it then she should be entitled to a fair amount. I wouldn’t be complaining about paying just for fuel and odds and ends. Pay her what you’d have to pay a child minder instead of buying the odds and ends and you’ll fast see which way works out better for you x
1 Like
There is a 18 year gap between my 3rd and 4th child. I was told I couldn’t have anymore children. Definitely a surprise lol. I love them all to pieces. After my maternity leave was up my daughter watched her as I was apprehensive when it came enrolling her into daycare. She watched her for the first year and was paid 125 a week. My little one is now 3 and in daycare as my daughter needs to explore and be a young adult. I now pay reasonable daycare fees of just over 150 a week. Is it easy no not always. That is on a single mother’s income. There are two of you, If i can do it you are more than capable of affording daycare. Also on a positive note they will learn so much in a daycare setting than just being watched by her grandmother. Go get reliable daycare.
1 Like
Your mom isn’t a babysitter, she is grandma.
Of course you should be working around her schedule. She is doing you a huge favor. Imagine what you would be paying to put your child in daycare.
You sound extremely entitled.
Grandma’s aren’t there to act as babysitters as you see fit.
Of course you should pay her and work around her schedule.
1 Like
I’m shocked by these responses. My mom watched my daughter for free. I eventually got a babysitter because my mom had a head injury and as she got older, it was harder for my mom to watch her.
If you’re going to pay her, then you guys need to have a sit down and discuss raising it a bit. She shouldn’t be asking you to buy her random things just because she watches your kid and makes you feel bad. Maybe pay her like $100 a week and tell her she gets nothing else.
As for working around her schedule, you should. That isn’t fair to expect her to live for only babysitting your kids.
1 Like
Your Mom raised you, now it’s time for her to live her life. What you pay her is an insult. You’d be paying a lot more for a nanny or daycare. She has the right to make appointments and go away. The fact you have an issue with that is comical.
1 Like
If she’s Grammaing (couple hours here and there) or is she being a personal nanny?
Pay Gramma- No
Pay Nanny-yes
This is her life too, showing some gratitude would probably go a long way!
1 Like
I can’t believe this woman would even have to ask this question. What an ungrateful human being. Her mother doesn’t even get to be grandma. She is a nanny and should be paid for it. The intitled younger generation showing its true colours! Sad times!!!
1 Like
Parents who get free, or mostly free childcare are very lucky. Many of us never had a choice, and were forced to pay full price for daycare. That is the norm. So I would not complain about your mom’s choices. If I were lucky enough to have grandkids, I would expect my kids to work around my schedule, not the other way around. Sounds like you just need to find new childcare…
Sounds like you expect a lot from your Mom without giving her anything in return She has a life of her own She is helping you out by coming to your house She is probably living on a fixed income
Ummm they are your children, I have never even asked my parents or his parents to watch our kids like they raised me they are not beholden to raise my kids too…if they wanna have em come over and spend overnights by all means but it’s my job to provide for my kids and if we did have an agreement for them to watch the kids they would be paid going rate for a child care provider they give the time and there is no price to steep or nothing I want badly enough that I would gripe about over the safety of my kids you have an assurance that your kids are always in trustworthy capable hands stop being selfish and figure it out
This seems extremely off. You’re upset that your mom won’t give you all of her time for $40 a week? Why don’t you and your bf figure out a schedule to babysit your own child? Or if you’re willing to pay for daycare, then you can afford to pay your mom more. Idk how old she is, but it’s her time now. Especially if you, her child, are full grown with your own family. You cannot expect her to act like it’s her job if she did not sign up for this.
Wow this makes me so mad. My husband and i have no help and are struggling to work and care for our kids. Our moms don’t care to come and help as they have their own lives and live in another state. Honor your mom and get some respect
For one count your blessings that you have family that close that can help you. But I would also find a new babysitter. When you feel like your mom is being more of a hassle then a help time to move on. Good luck
I understand were you are coming from. Sounds like you would be better off finding someone else to watch the kiddo while you work. You can post on babysitting sites an find someone that may cost you about $100 a week min. But will work your schedule as you would be there employer. It is always nice to have family help with babysitting because you know them. I get that. But sometimes we have to step away from that. It’s not like your asking your mother to raise your child. The old saying is it takes a village. Sadly sometimes we can’t depend on family to help. I have raised 3 children with no help from family or friends. It was hard but I didn’t have people telling I had them so they were my responsibility. Cause duh we know that right. You just do what is best for you and your family. As far as having a relationship with your mother I think getting a babysitter might help.
Pay your mom a decent wage or pay for daycare. As for the horror stories about daycare. You need to do your research. I went to 11 different daycare before I decided to put my baby in one. I chose the best one & was told it was a 1 year wait list. I waited because it was the best daycare for my son. It turned out to be the best daycare for me & my son. The staff & director were so amazing. We stayed at that daycare for 5 years. It’s was hard to leave.
Your mom is not obligated to babysit for you, essentially for free. You will have resentments for a while when you have to pay your own way because I’m pretty sure you’ll blame her for the inconvenience. Hopefully you will eventually recognize your own responsibility here and it will help you have a more normalized relationship with your mom/baby’s grandma.
Pay her the going rate if she wants to be paid, or put them in daycare. It shouldn’t be a fight, you are not obligated to provide her an income… she can go get a different job. Plus, daycare is good for development, the interactions with others. If mom wants to fight because of daycare then she needs to learn boundaries and cut the toxic bs
We paid my mom $240 a week to watch our son for 2.5 years. We did this in place of a daycare. That is what it would’ve cost us to send him to a daycare. We wanted him to be taken care of though and not left with a stranger. We NEVER expected her to do it for free. We were working so why wouldn’t she be paid for sacrificing 40-50 hours a week of her time to watch our son full time?