My mom is upset that I do not get child support

I’m just curious, how many of you have 50/50 custody with your childs father, and does he pay child support? I share 50/50 of my son and we split daycare. No one pays child support and everything is pretty even. My mom CONSTANTLY brings up the fact that my sons father should be paying child support because he’s the dad. I’ve always thought it was dumb that a man is expected to pay more just because he’s a man. It would be different if we didn’t have 50/50 but we do. I don’t see the point in anyone paying child support when custody and daycare is split evenly. She can’t seem to understand my point of view and I’m sick of her bringing it up. I’m wondering if I’m the only one who thinks this way?

323 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom is upset that I do not get child support

Your mom is toxic af. If he’s there for his children like he should be what’s the problem? That’s just plain greed.

10 Likes

“My mom is upset that I do not get child support” is not a question.

4 Likes

If you have 50/50 care and split all costs related to the child there’s no need for child support

5 Likes

If it’s 50 50 and you share cost of everything and have it in writing you don’t need to claim child support

1 Like

The people I know who have 50/50 do not pay child support. They coparent wonderfully.

3 Likes

I agree with you. Your mom is being toxic.

4 Likes

I think if you share time equally and he pays half the daycare bill, that’s plenty.

4 Likes

If what you and the dad are doing works and is amicable between the two of you and you are happy with what the two of you are doing … Tell mum to mind her own business.

2 Likes

She is being toxic. It is about equally supporting the child not one receiving pay for it

5 Likes

Weird. I thought you said he was YOUR son?? Your mom has ZERO input. Tell her to mind her own business.

7 Likes

I also have always wondered this. Like when I was little, my mom had my brother and I lived with my dad. My dad still got my brother most weekends and I saw my mom sparingly. He paid her a fortune in child support. Never made sense to me because they both had a child in their care…

1 Like

Sounds like you and your kids dad have it figured out fairly and it works for you both. Your mom is the problem.

3 Likes

So you are not in the wrong I have the same issue. When my late husband was on disability one thing they offer you is food assistance Even if your income does not apply and I literally had to petition my state to not request child support on my sons father because we do have a 50/50

Whoever gets paid more should be paying child support. It is designed to keep the standard of living the same between two households, regardless of time spent where.

5 Likes

My boyfriend has to pay child support and we have them the exact same amount of time as his ex. I think it’s absolute bullshit

If you have a true 50/50 and share things like child care, medical expenses, etc there is no need for child support. You are not tripping your mom is.

2 Likes

Child support is for parents who are not supporting their children

If your 50/50 - it’s equal , that would be like his mom saying he need to take you for support

7 Likes

No I share custody with my son and it’s 50/50 he does not pay child support. When he is with his dad he provides and when he is with me I provide. We also went to family court and the court didn’t say anything about child support. We split holidays and communicate if we have plans ect. Every situation is different though. We also switch every Saturday . We were never married.

4 Likes

Ugh no, you should not be receiving child support. Tell your mom to shush it

2 Likes

It’s not her kid or her life! Do what’s best for y’all

My husband pays child support on top of having 50/50. We pay all school fees, doctor and dental bills in fulll and provide his insurance

It’s frustrating to say the least, but I just remember than it’s only temporary

3 Likes

Ignore her. You are doing it now it SHOULD be done.

2 Likes

Its simply none of her business :woman_shrugging:

It’s none of your moms business.

2 Likes

Your mother is only having her say because you would have to be talking about it to her, YOUR finances and situation with your ex is YOUR business. Stop speaking about it.

4 Likes

You are doing what I’m doing and your just fine!!!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

If everything is even, there are zero disagreements on the child’s needs and they are being provided for well at both parenting times then there is literally no need for child support ENFORCEMENT. There’s nothing to force literally. The child is being 100% provided for.

If everything is split 50/50 and all costs split and equal sharing of sick time, appts ect… then there is no need for child support. Each parent is fulfilling their responsibilities.

Seems like you and the father has it figured out. None of ur mom’s business js 🤷

3 Likes

I know two guys that have 50/50 and both still pay over $1200 a month in child support. I thought it was messed up, but they both thought it was fair

4 Likes

When you have 50/50, courts will sometimes order support if there’s an income disparity. They don’t want kids going to dad’s mansion and having a PS5 and a pool and designer clothes, and then going to mom’s one bedroom apartment and wearing clothes from goodwill.

1 Like

It’s between you and your ex not your mom unless she has to financially support you

1 Like

If he provides food, clothes and diapers while he has them daycare split is fair

I thought the parent with the higher income paid child support in the case of 50/50 custody. Unless both parents agree to something else

1 Like

Here in Illinois the new child support laws take into account how much time each parent has with the child, so 50/50 would be zero child support unless there’s a major difference in income

I have my child full time, I don’t receive any help from his father.

3 Likes

My ex and I have 50/50 no child support. If our kids needs something we get it handled.

1 Like

Why would anyone need to pay child support if there is 50/50 custody……

1 Like

My ex and I don’t go through the courts at all. We do 3days on 3days off. We split everything 50/50 or I buy it and he just gives me money back later. Also if one of us need the others day it’s ok because it’s not about us but our daughter. I’m happy that you are able to coparent and that you can make it work without all the extra hassle

1 Like

Depends on your state. Here in michigan I know a mom who had her child more than 50%and she paid him child support because she had The higher income.

I’ve got 50/50 custody. No child support. But I do more money wise than he does. We share physical custody 50/50. But money wise it’s like 80/20. Me being 80. He tries. When he can. Anything to do with school n I mainly pay. I do ask him to pay when I’m stretched thin on money. I pay for his instrument myself. He carries them on his insurance and we split kids on taxes. We split school supplies sometimes. I buy all their clothes and send some to dad’s house. If dad is pulling his weight financially. Your momma needs to pipe down and mind her business. If you ain’t complaining. It don’t matter what mom says… as long as that child has all his needs met… it don’t matter…

1 Like

If it’s 50/50 there should be NO child support. I don’t care what anyone says. If everything is half an half why would someone have to pay child support? Can’t afford your 50%? Give more time to the other parent. That simple. You are doing the right thing. She is speaking out of her butt and needs to stay out of it.

I would never expect him to give me money if we split everything - I provide for my house, he provides for his ! just because he makes more doesn’t mean I am entitled to it ! if he is an active father that does his part, & takes care of his child financially, physically, & emotionally, there is no reason he should have to give the mom money

2 Likes

As long as the child isn’t missing out on anything I think that’s fair and reasonable with the arrangement you both have. I pay my ex child support for two teenagers because he chooses not to work and we do 50/50 for them. Our other two primary school age children I have them the majority of the time but he doesn’t have to pay CS for them. I’m 100% financially responsible for everything for our children because he refuses to pay for anything.

3 Likes

Depends on income at the end of the day. If you are doing well, and have 50/50 I wouldn’t go for it.

Only if there is some significant income disparity between the two of you. The child’s lifestyle should be roughly the same at both houses.

1 Like

If your income is higher than his, you could end up paying him support.

3 Likes

Lmao it’s 50/50 for a reason that would be unfair to him if he had to pay. That’s on some greedy crap. Your mom must be used to dead beats

2 Likes

Since custody is 50/50 it makes sense that everything is split and even as well.

Tell her to mind her business. If it was every other weekend type of thing then yes child support would make sense but 50/50 custody and paying half for daycare it doesn’t make sense for him to also pay child support. If you’re fine with the arrangements and your ex is then your Mom doesn’t need to be concerned.

4 Likes

I don’t think he should have to pay child support if things are 50/50! that’s how it is with my sons father and myself. unless the other parent is making significant more income than you, there shouldn’t be child support !

3 Likes

You are not wrong if y’all are splitting everything then there is no need for the other parent to pay child support with all respect towards your mom she needs to stay out of it or she could end up starting problems between you and your ex keep it the way it is

3 Likes

has nothing to do with ‘men’ or ‘women’. The custodial parent gets child support regardless of who it is, mom or dad. If you split custody, get the kid equal amount of time, split the cost of childcare, healthcare, etc, there’s really no logical reason for child support. man or woman

1 Like

I agree with you, why put child support when everything is 50/50

1 Like

Me and my husband are split; he doesn’t pay child support but we split everything in half, sports, anything for school, meds, ect. And around holidays we split and we support him equally when we have him

If it works,leave it alone,tell her to stop

1 Like

I have 50/50. We each get them every other week for the whole week. He doesn’t pay child support and he absolutely would have had to if I had asked for it because the income difference, but it’s not worth the fight for me.

50/50 is great. Mom needs to mine her own stuff.

2 Likes

Depends on income of both parents.

3 Likes

:100: agree with splitting 50/50 everything

My husband and I have 80/20 of his son and we don’t receive CS. They said it’s all a calculation of his income, BM income, and the time amount breakdown.

50/50 none of use should

Ma’am these are your kids , & she should respect that no matter what !

Your mum needs to butt out because depending on your income you could end up having to pay him.
I’m with you on this one. It works for you guys and clearly he isn’t a dad that tries to get out of paying fees ect. Good on you guys for working so well together

My ex and I share 50/50. No child support and we split all expenses

1 Like

You should go with what you are thinking and feeling. Why cause chaos when it’s not needed

Do what’s working for y’all. Some people can’t understand non chaotic situations. If she thinks you should have more money tell her to pay it. :laughing:

1 Like

Where I live if you have 50/50, nobody pays child support.

1 Like

My daughter is almost 12 so she doesn’t go to daycare but my ex pays child support. If she went to daycare and he paid 50% of it I definitely wouldn’t ask him for a dime.

2 Likes

50/50 and neither pay. We take care of our own homes and split any bills for the kids.

1 Like

Only reason most get child support even when custody is 50/50 would only be if one parent makes a significant amount more than they other so the child needs to have a equal living environment financially. Your mom needs to mind her business, it’s not up to her.

3 Likes

50/50 is best in my opinion! I for one have never received a penny for my older two and he’s been gone since October 2005. He was in Mexico when the state found him and they closed my case.

I totally get what you’re saying hun :100: yes mamas can be and will very opinionated when it comes their own. Doesn’t mean you have to take it on board and action it. If you and the baby daddy can come to any terms where you baby is concerned and it’s working then that’s awesome. You’re the parent she’s just the grandmother…

2 Likes

I have the same. And without saying too much of my situation I’ll say this… its been 6 years , for the past almost 3 dad hasn’t visited his 50% of the time and everything has fell on my household. Child support is now a must, things change.

It is possible to get child support with 50/50. It really just depends on if one parent is carrying more financial weight for the child than the other parent. But that also requires receipts and proof and it’s really not worth it unless the other parent doesn’t contribute whatsoever. I dropped the whole support thing when we settled on 50/50. I take the brunt of the daily necessities and clothes and what not, but if my son needs anything that I can’t provide, his dad will provide. It’s just simpler that way.
His own family told me to take him for support. It’s no one’s business. Maybe your
mom should take a step back. It’s 50/50. Not 50/50 and some 2 cents :joy:

It’s not her business. You and his father have a fair arrangement. Time is split evenly, daycare is split evenly. When he has the kid, he provides meals,.clothes,. Schooling things, toys, extra curricular costs etc. You do the same when you have the kid. Not her business.

My middle sons father and I have 50/50 but my sons with me 24/7 he never sees him(father doesn’t want to be in child’s life) but wanted 50/50 he pays $600 a month in child support plus pays for his health insurance.

I share 50/50 custody of my two kids. When we divorced he made slightly more than I did, so he had to cover the kids on his health insurance. Medical out-of-pocket expenses are supposed to be 49% (me) 51% (him). If I knew then what I know now, I would have required that we called out expenses for extra-curricular activities and to have a set period of time to reimburse the other for expenses.

Child support is based on the time difference spent with the child and the income difference.

1 Like

My nephew has shared parenting 50/50 but he does pay child support because his income was higher. Now she is remarried with 3 more kids, both her and her husband work full-time and income is equal with my nephew and his ex without her husband’s income, they just increased my nephew’s child support. He is afraid to get married and have more kids because he can’t afford to support a family at this time. But his ex-wife is riding high.

Nope absolutely not. If it’s 50/50 all across the board then why should he have to do extra. All extras are split. When it comes to bills you both have the same: food, home, water, electric.

3 Likes

Tell her to stfu. When parents have 50/50 no child support should be paid.

If you’re both paying your fair share already, why would either party have to pay?

When I divorced my husband I asked for only half of what I pay for health ins… No child support cuz he was having the kids half the time also… So I don’t think anyone should pay with joint costody

1 Like

50/50 is just that. Nobody should pay more. Kids are not property

My lawyer told me by law in our state that whoever makes more has to pay. Regardless 50/50.

1 Like

I think if you and him share custody and agree , no need for him or you to pay child support

I think your mom is just used to the old system

1 Like

If he is responsible to help pay for things like he is supposed then I wouldn’t worry about child support.

2 Likes

If me and my husband were to split up, we already have a plan that we’d split custody and we’d just share the kids expenses. No one has to pay child support and the kids can come and go between houses however they want.

Where I live if is calculated by the province.
I’m in a 50/50 situation and do not receive or pay support. We both have minimum amounts of income we are expected to make each year. If there is more than a $30K difference then it will be recalculated

Child support is for absent parents, it seems he isn’t that… your mom should mind her own business

5 Likes

I 100% agree & have the same mind set as you.

1 Like

I think your mom should mind her business because it’s not her kid. :woman_shrugging:t3:

4 Likes

Your child not hers and if you and the child’s father is happy with what y’all are doing then that’s all that matters. She needs to show respect because that’s y’alls child and it’s between you and your ex. She needs to stop interfering.

1 Like

I have full physical custody and 50/50 decision making, granted i make most decisions. No child support, he’s only to cover medical. My current husband medical is amazing so he just pays us $40.00 a month to cover her insurance. I fully claim her for taxes, we make close to the same. He’s happy to help with clothing, school stuff and youth camps. It’s fully up to how you guys want to deal with it. I didn’t want the drama and expectations that came come with it, plus I didn’t “need” it.

No your not, I feel that way to. My son has his kids mist of the time, she maybe takes them 1 night a week, yet she was getting the child credit, finally told him he should be getting most of it since hes paying for everything. She doesnt pay support but should be helping out with groceries and extra curricular things. But hes to dam nice to fight her on this. Shes the one who walked out on the kids for a jerk that treats her like shit and the kids wont go near.
Stand your ground do what you think is best for your kids

1 Like

She’s right. Does he earn more than you? If you were together he would naturally be paying more of your child’s expenses. There is some formula they use in courts to come up with who pays who how much child support.

4 Likes

I have 50/50 and I don’t, how fair is that. You both have equal responsibility, why does the other person need to pay?