My mom is upset that I do not want her in the room with me when I give birth

My mom is very controlling with everything, and she is pissed off at me cause I told her I don’t want her in the room this time when I give birth; I want my husband in there. She keeps making rude comments and yelling at me, and basically pushing me to allow her in the room. And I keep saying no is it wrong for me to not want her in the room this time? I feel like she’s blowing it way out of proportion. Mind you me and my mom don’t have the best relationship as it is. She’s literally making me cry and feel like shit because I told her no (whenever I tell her no she treats me like garbage) anyways am I wrong for saying no or is she just being a brat?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom is upset that I do not want her in the room with me when I give birth

Just tell her that the Covid restrictions only allow one person right now, and of course your husband deserves to be in there :woman_shrugging:t3:

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You aren’t wrong… that is totally your choice! Your mother sounds like a toxic person! Stand your ground!

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You are not wrong she can get over it!

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She is a brat. Even before COVID my mom wanted me to let her stay and make my boyfriend also the father of my child leave. And might I add while I was in labor she was trying to get me to go to the cafeteria and snack machine to get her stuff. Wanted me to call the nurses and tell them I wanted a drink to give to her.

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Stand your ground. This is YOUR day. A father in my opinion has seniority over a grandparent.

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Youre a married woman whos husband is available to be in the room with you. Mom should be at home waiting on a phone call. Birth and first visiting belongs to Dad. Stand your ground

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She has toxic behavior and is trying to manipulate you by her actions/words. There is nothing wrong with wanting just you 2 in there. Call her on her behavior and tell her it’s toxic and manipulative.

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Just tell her no and leave it at that if she is mad then so be it she will get over it

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It’s a 1000% up to you, dont let her bully you into changing your mind. :blush: plus she can see the baby after the birth! I choose to have both, even tho only 1 person is allowed, I made it very clear that my moms and my husband will be there. And they were!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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My mom tried pulling the same thing with me. I am newly pregnant with my second after 11 years. My mom wasn’t able to be in town for the birth of my son her first grandchild but now I can only have one person in the room. How am I supposed to tell my husband THE FATHER OF THIS BABY he can’t be in the room when HIS child is born. Ya right! My mom isn’t being super mean about it but she keeps making comments as well. Hold your ground and don’t feel bad. She will see the baby right after. Not a big deal.

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Nope. Don’t even feel bad girl. Put her in her place. “I said NO. That is the end of the story” my mom wasn’t in the room with either. Hell I barely wanted the father’s there!!! Bahaha :rofl:

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She’s toxic, stand your ground

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I’d tell her the yelling isn’t going to change your mind her way. If she kept it up I wouldn’t want her I’m the room after the birth either.

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She is selfish as hell. If she’s making you feel upset like this tell her she better stop or she will get cut off. You don’t need this kind of stress while pregnant. Some peoples’ entitlement is just ridiculous.

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She’s a brat…this is your birthing story, not hers. Tell the hospital staff what your plan is and who you want there. Let them be the “bad guy” they really don’t mind telling toxic people NO. Don’t argue with her it’s not worth the stress! Enjoy this beautiful moment :heart:

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I’m sorry she makes you feel bad. Birth should be a happy place and it’s your choice. Keep telling her NO and let the Hosp. now your wishes. If she is not pleasant to you it makes it hard for you to deliver a happy baby and mama + dad. Hang in there girl.

Stand your ground. She sounds very toxic

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If she’s controlling don’t let her near your family period

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Don’t feel like crap. It is your choice. She will get over it. I only had my husband in the room when I have birth to all four of our children.

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She’s in the wrong not you! I went through the same thing with my mom first baby she forced her way into making me feel bad so she was there. Second child she was suppose to pick up the first kid from daycare and bring him to the hospital to meet his brother but she couldn’t do that bc she was already in the waiting room!!! Third kid I had the hospital tell her no and keep her out bc she still wasn’t getting the message! This is your birth and your time. It’s scary for them as apart bc giving birth is the closest thing to losing YOU they will go through but it’s not about them! Stand your ground and don’t feel bad about taking this time to make memories between you and your spouse!

Stick to it . shes trying to bully you into letting her. If she gets mad let her get mad. She will get over it

Your husband should be there

It’s your choice. And especially in the times we’re in, your visitors are extremely limited. You’re not in the wrong, she totally is.

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No you are not wrong. This is your time & it is up to you who is there with you. Just let her be mad, she’ll get over it! Being upset is not good for you or baby.

It is your decision! You need to be in peace when you have your baby! Tell your mom to shut up and grow up!

Your not wrong stick to your word only allow your husband . She ain’t dad so she can wait

Just act like all is well with her & then don’t tell her when u go into labor. Keep it off social media & call her the minute the baby is born. Just be like “everything happened so fast I couldn’t even think… My bad!!”. Also, many hospitals have covid restrictions. She may not be allowed anyway

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You are absolutely not wrong….

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No your far from being in the wrong! Your mum’s being a ‘brat’… It’s 1000% your decision on who you would feel more comfortable with having there at the end of the day your body is going to go through a lot and you have to be as relaxed as you possibly can for the sake of your bundle of joy! Don’t let anyone mother or not dictate on what you can do your an adult now your mum could advise you although its about time your mum let you make your own decisions for yourself!

Your body, your baby, your choice. It’s not a spectator sport. Stand your ground

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This is a special time for YOU! Under no circumstances should you be under any stress from anyone. Stand your ground!

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Totally up to you who u have with you

Stand your ground mama! It’s perfectly fine for you wanting who you want with you when you give birth, and who you don’t want there. Big hugs, I’m sorry you are having to stress over such nonsense. Your mother needs to grow up

No you aren’t wrong at all! She’s wrong for making you feel bad. I’m choosing my husband over my mom to be in the room with me because as far as I know I’ll only be allowed 1 person this time.

It’s good to set boundaries, if a child (and yes your mom is acting like a child) finds out they can push you till you break your boundaries it will never stop set your boundaries and whoever matters will respect them if they don’t respect them they don’t matter

As a grandma, I was happy to be in the room when my daughter gave birth. However if the father wanted to be in the room I wouldn’t have pushed being there. My daughter asked me to be when my grandsons dad wouldn’t go.
You’re not in the wrong. You have every right to choose who you want to be there when you give birth.

No you are not wrong being that you can only have a limited number of people you have every right to tell her no and have your husband there. Stand your ground and if she continues to be disrespectful then limit her around the baby after as well

It’s your baby and your husband’s baby. Stick to what YOU want. Do not let her bully you

i don’t think ur wrong at all! your husband should absolutely be by ur side when u give birth. sounds to me she will just stress u out more if she was aloud in with u. stick to how u feel and don’t allow her in there. she needs to respect ur choice & keep her selfish comments to herself.

It’s your decision to make, not hers. When you check into the hospital, you can inform them that you want a password to be required for entry to your room by any guests. I had to do this. No password, no entry and unwanted guests had to leave the premises.

no, it is not selfish to not want your mom in the room it is time for you to set boundaries with her even if that means that she stops talking to you for a while teach her how to respect you as a woman

Start barging in while she’s on the toilet and see how she likes her privacy invaded

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Say there are covid restrictions and they only allow one support person and have the father in there if he’s involved/supportive or say they don’t allow anyone at all if you’d rather be alone. The doctors and nurses will support and reinforce your decision. Good luck, Momma :heart:

Absolutely not, stand your ground.

Just bc you share DNA with someone doesn’t entitle them to treat you like :poop: cater to their tantrums. This is YOUR baby, YOUR family, and YOUR birth. You can’t get this experience back. Also, tell her hospital has Covid restrictions so only one support person. :wink:

Keep your mind strong. You are right in feeling the way you do. You’re mom is way out of line.

You can call security if she tries to show up.

You do what you want! She really needs to back off! I was in the room with my daughter Amanda first but not the second, I was in the room with 2 of my son’s but not the 3rd one. My oldest daughter April I was not in the room with either one because she c-section and she didn’t want anyone but her husband and I have 7 grandchildren and 1 great grandson and I am in no way upset and she shouldn’t be either.

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Tell her where to go #[email protected] 0# f it’s your day it’s not about her…

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It is important that you set boundaries. Your husband must back you up. This is your family and you must stand strong. Tell her to have respect for your family. If you do not make this clear she will take charge of the children. This is a closed topic of conversation. Believe in your self & do not show her any weakness. Ask husband to stand with you and be a united front. This is important. This is a joyous time & do not let her rob you of this. Only have discussion along with your husband. Power in unity. Bless you.

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It is your baby and your right to have who you want

Didn’t have my mom in the room for either of my babies. She was hurt but I needed people who weren’t gonna stress me out; it’s the same reason I didn’t have my sister. You choose someone who will support and comfort you :blue_heart: Mom can kick rocks if she doesn’t like it.

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… it is NOT her right to be there when you give birth. If you allow it, that’s one thing. Your husband should be there to witness HIS child be born. Grandma needs to sit back down in that rocker

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You’re not in the wrong, she is. It’s about you being comfortable and you and your husband sharing that experience and bonding with your new baby and she needs to understand that.

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Bitch slap her and tell her your husband going in and just leave it at that

DONT. DO. IT!!!
Ugh I hate my mom. We’ve tried many time over the year and of course every time I’m pregnant She wants to be mom of the year. I let in the room with my youngest and regret it to this day.
She pushed my baby daddy out of the way and then was pissed because he was pissed about it. I said Jesus Christ and she told me “I’ll let it happen this time”. I’m also a meditator when in labour. She wouldnt shut the fuck up so I could feel my hips moving. I needed to meditate but couldn’t so I had anxiety the whole time. It was the worst labour.

I say husband! It’s his baby. She had hers and raised hers already.

You tell her no mean no if she feeling some type of way that her. Don’t let her push you around like that are make you feel bad you done nothing wrong.

If you don’t have a great relationship, why is she making such a big selfish deal about being there??!! This is your birth, your body, your vulnerability, your baby, you have who the hell you want in there with you and the father is the perfect person to welcome his child , not hers, into the world. If she carries in I’d be alerting the hospital that she’s not to be let into the ward and tell her that too!! I probably wouldn’t tell her I’m in labour and off to the hospital either

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Your not wrong in the slightest. She needs to learn to respect your boundaries. It will help your relationship so much more if she figures that out.

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It’s totally fine that you do not want her in there. I didn’t have my mom with my last 2 it was just so much easier and less stressful. I had my mom in with my first but not with the other 2. At the end of the day she’ll see the baby after you have it.

You don’t need to explain or feel like you have to defend your decision to say no. To her or this group. You don’t have to convince anyone of why. No means no. It’s okay to say no. She needs to understand these are your boundaries and that’s that. When I had my oldest daughter, I was what they call a “silent patient”. Meaning they could not tell anyone I was in the hospital during my stay and anyone that showed up (word got around) was turned away.
These are your boundaries. She needs to respect that. I hope all goes well for you and baby.

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Stand your ground with her your husband should be in there

My MIL was same way. You generally have to sign to get them in, doc told me there was no need for a family reunion, so was just my husband. They will remove her if she goes to start anything. Stay firm. Should be, in my mind,a bonding time anyway.

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nope, follow your gut. don’t let her ruin your special moment. it’s not about her right now, so she needs to stfd and shut up.

That’s terrible! You definitely want your husband there and she should understand that. Stand your ground and if she’s mad that’s her problem not yours.

Its your choice, your delivery. Your husband should be there. If she upsets you she should not be there. She’ll be ok. And your delivery will be so much better.

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Stress stalls birth, so you’re making the right decision by not allowing her in the room. Shes definitely being a brat and needs to respect your boundaries. Sorry to say but it’s going to get worse when she starts bulldozing your parenting methods.

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My daughter didnt want me in room with her first so i stood outside the door open enough to here but with her second she let me stay in side it was great

Thats a narcissistic person right there and you have every right to allow who ever you want in the room. If you don’t want her in there. That’s your choice. Stay strong and don’t let her get to you :heart:

Tell her the way she is acting is the exact reason she isn’t allowed in the room. Boundaries! She needs to learn them. She clearly don’t have any! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You are not in the wrong at all! You have the final say so.

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Having her there when you’re not comfortable with it can totally lead to a stalled labour and potential csection because of it. It’d stop the oxytocin production in your brain

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Just stop arguing with her. Don’t tell her when you go into labor.

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You are not wrong. I would like to be in the room with my daughter too, but it’s more important that you are comfortable and that the father is the 1st one to see the baby. That being said, I almost want to cut my sil brake line so that he can’t make it to the delivery room and I can be there! Almost. :joy:

Your mom is absolutely wrong. It’s your body, your birth. The only person who has the right to decide who’s in the room is you. It’s not a spectator event. The role of whoever is the room is to support you. Choose carefully.

I hate when people try to force me into decisions. If tell your mom straight “my answer is no. This is the last time we’re going to discuss it. Bring it up again before or after baby is born or not accept any of my decisions of how to raise my child you’ll loose your grandchild & me forever”. If she brings it up again before baby is born don’t even tell her baby is born. If she can’t respect your boundaries now she won’t later. She will try to control everything about how you raise your baby. She’s already making you question if your feelings & choices are ok. Trust me she’ll continue for years to come. Nip it now & be prepared to follow through.

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Stick to you guns. Its your time

No no your right. She has no place in the delivery room. Tell her to get iff your case or she wont be having any part of your life or your babies either. A controlling person, needs to be put in their place

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It takes two to argue. She opens her mouth, you walk away. Let her argue with the mirror.
Don’t tell her when you go into labor. You decide who you want in the delivery room…period

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Absolutely not! Nothing is wrong with setting boundaries, if she cannot respect those boundaries maybe more need to be placed maybe even to the extent of a boundary that you will not be around her if she is pushing your boundaries. Just because she is family doesn’t mean she should be allowed to Harass you because she is not getting her way.

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If u don’t live with her then I suggest blocking her and if she shows up at your place call police n have her escorted off your property. And no you’re not wrong for saying no. Your husband deserves to be there.

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Your baby. Your decision.

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No girl stand your ground with her shes crazy

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absolutely no one has the right to be there unless you want them there and your comfort level is extremely important. her blatant disrespect of your boundaries is very narcissistic and toxic. keep your boundaries and shut down any further conversation about it. don’t engage and don’t react. look up grey rock.

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It’s your delivery and you could also just let the nurses deny her entry too. My nurses always offered to be the “bad guy” to make my delivery more comfortable. They usually have you fill out a birth plan and that is something they ask. “List anyone you do NOT want in the room”. I think it’s great! Good luck!

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No husband only, stand your ground!!!

She sounds toxic so I’m pretty sure you’re making the best decision

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No.
You’re hormonal and that’s ok.
The answer, no matter what emotions you have, is still no.

This is an experience. A beautiful one :heavy_heart_exclamation:once in a lifetime moment (with this exact baby).

AND know she’s gonna make a big stink about it so instead of having her around (perhaps in the room) while you labor…don’t make yourself uncomfortable at the moment when she’s supposed to leave. Don’t put yourself or staff through that. Don’t allow her to throw her hissy fit.
Instead-labor calmly and peacefully (could take all day) and THEN call her to come visit afterwards…like after you change rooms from labor/delivery room to your maternity stay suite/room. (Depending on your hospital. Here we change rooms and beds after giving birth). The post room is where you’ll remain until departure.

The only way to do this is to not let her know once you’ve gone into labor.:ok_hand:t5::100: cuts down on the whole stink she’s gonna try to throw

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This is a personal choice.

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Nope. Someone like that definitely doesn’t need to be in the room. If you wanted stress in the room you would invite your ex’s or a cousin you don’t like. If you wanna save yourself the fight tell her fine. And then when you go into labor tell all the nurses she can’t be in the room. I wouldn’t even bother telling her I was in the hospital till the baby was born.

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Your delivery your choice.
Labour is stressful enough without extra Stess. Its safer for you and baby to limit stress so she shouldn’t be there.
If she can’t understand that as a mother herself then it’s time to go low or no contact. You don’t deserve the issues she is causing.
Make your nurses or midwifes aware she’s not allowed in

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Stand your ground with no regrets. Giving birth is stressful enough without worrying about hurting her feelings.

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It’s your baby, your body and your choice. Stay away from her for a while and when she asks you why, explain because she can’t accept your wishes and then tries to force you into doing something you don’t want to do. Your a grown women and you can make your own decisions. Plus at the moment they’re only allowing one birth partner so of course it should be your husband

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Not wrong at all. Whoever is there is supposed to reduce stress. Not add to it. Clearly this is why she’s not invited so maybe remind her :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Nope, you have a right to have whoever you want in the room with you. Your mom needs to get over herself and learn that she’s not in control over you anymore. Don’t give her control over you anymore. My mom was the same way, and as soon as I could, I moved out just to get away from her. But she still tried to control me by calling every day and I just started ignoring her calls. She tried showing up where I was staying just to talk to me and tell me what to do.

When I went into labor with my first daughter, I didn’t let her know until I posted it on fb which was when I was already in the room with the father. So she couldn’t say anything. Same with my second daughter. And my third. I didn’t even tell her baby boy was born until after we were home. But by now, I got the message across that I’m my own person and the mother of my kids. She has no say in how I raise my kids. But I argued with her multiple times and showed her that I will not be controlled and not tolerate disrespectful comments about those in my little family that I made.

Hang in there, and don’t let your mom bully you. Cut her off if you need to.

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That’s for the parents mom needs to wait out in the waiting room

To bad. Your choice.

Most hospitals are only allowing 1 person due to Covid. Use that as your excuse.

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Tell her that the hospital only allows one person in the room and that person will be your husband. More often than not the nurses are happy to oblige, even if it’s not true, to tell family such things to get them off your back. :slight_smile:

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