Sounds like she isn’t embarrassed she just doesn’t understand. Years ago people just assumed kids like your son were just looked at as misbehaving. So she feels the way she would if he were misbehaving. Since you tell her it’s something else (which she probably has a hard time believing because, like many people your son doesn’t look different) she feels there should be a treatment or cure. Give her time. 
Grandma needs a talking to badly, I have to autistic grandchildren, which I love dearly. Tell her to get her head on straight (she’s worried about gossip shame on her who cares and shame on the gossipers
I have a 10 year old autistic great grand…he is so caring and I love him to pieces…he has his moments as well but that’s just a part of him…
Get together the best literature you can find on the subject. Give it to her to read and to learn. If she still acts the same way… don’t bring your child around her.
Hopefully she will get the hint and want to be with her grandson.
In 5 years has she not taken care of him and gotten to bond with him one on one? A grandma loves her grandchildren unconditionally and shouldn’t have even considered that he wasn’t anything but perfect to her😢. I feel sorry for her that she’s going to miss out on all this love from her grandson☹️
My nephew didn’t even talk til he was 5. He graduated high school, and has a job. I don’t think I could deal with your mom. I’d tell her to NEVER voice her opinion around me,! And if I had to “hide” info on my child, especially because of what people might say? I would not have a mom! In other words, accept reality, enjoy your son exactly how he is, or hit the road, JACK!
My grandson has autism and I am very proud of him! He is also high functioning. High functioning or not she should be proud of any grandson she has no matter what he’s born with. Actually there’s something refreshing about a child with autism because they are so real and true to their feelings.
Forgive her, she’ll adjust. Answer her with things like “thank you for your concern mama” … And do what you would normally do, she’ll learn it’s nothing to hide…
This child is very Special I have A great nephew and a grandson who is Austic I love both of them with all my heart.
Speak up for your child and yourself and tell your mom how she is making you feel. That child will probably keep her alive with his love. I love mine and he loves his grandma.
Oh goodness:cry:. Again, the misunderstanding of autism. In most cases, autistic children grow up to be high performing, exceptionally brilliant and focused, career individuals. I could make a long list of “autistics on different spectrums” individuals that you all would know. We all have to fight to get the information out there. 
Tell grandma,the facts,be honest. If she doesn’t accept your son after that, leave her out of functions.
You might consider that you need a support group who are knowledgeable and experienced with autism at all ages who can provide education, information and experience and one that suggests how to tell other F&F about your sons autism. He is a small boy with autism and overtime the more your family truly and accurately understands what that means , the bigger his AND your circle of support and strength
She probably just needs some gentle ideas of how to relate to him and interact.
If she has learned to accept him for him by now, good chance she never will. Slim possibility as he gets older and can have conversations on at least a somewhat adult level, she will. My next door neighbor is 79. Her son is 61 and a high functioning autistic man. When they realized something was going on the doctors said he was retarded. He’s not.(that was early 1960’s) Keep nurturing, educating, and love him regardless of others. Stop worrying about what your mother thinks. It’s taking focus away from your son. Bryan can talk genealogy with me, something I’ve done since 1987. He has an extensive knowledge of so many things. He is better at handling finances than his mother. The only concerning issue is medical. He knows what’s wrong, he has heart issues, keeps track of meds and appointments. But the actual appointment he has difficulty communicating with a doctor. So his Mom and I started a couple years ago making him go in alone to the exam room. If the doctor still has questions he’ll come get me or Mom depending on who drove him, to help him communicate. He has improved so much in such a short time. He does drive, but main cardiologist is 3 hours away and it tires him.
Get some books on the subject and have your mother read them. Autism is quite common and many autistic people are very intelligent and can lead very rewarding lives. Perhaps, have her watch the movie about Temple Grandin.There are many famous people with autism or autistic characteristics. Some of them are Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Mark Twain, Emily Dickinson, Beethoven, Van Gogh, Mozart, Thomas Jefferson, and Thomas Edison, Cher, Dan Akroyd, Temple Grandin, etc.
I also have a grandson who has autism. He is very bright, and one of the kindest kids I know. He is polite and thoughtful of others, more so than most other teens I know.
Perhaps a book could help her understand it. Talking open with others could help someone else who has the same or a different issue. Love and understanding sent your way.
It’s because she really doesn’t understand it. My mother is the same way about my RA. When I tell her things and people ask how I am doing, she tells them my hand hurts. You can’t make them understand what they don’t know.
Sounds like she just wants to control you both and the negative. Maybe she is a narcissists and needs help herself. Sorry no words of encouragement I will just pray you find an answer.
My husband and I have a 23 yr old grandson and an 8 yr old great grandson who are high functioning autistic. Our family is very accepting of them. We are very forunate that they are very smart, loving boys. If there are family or friends who don’t accept who or what the child is or has, they really need to go to some classes or counseling to under stand about autisim. Autisim is not curable like some people would like to believe.There are classes or counseling for autistic people to help them learn how to deal with issues such as meltdowns, anger, and other things they have to deal with. Even tho our boys are very smart we as family had to learn to accept them and to deal with issues. Family needs to learn that these autistic people, children and adults alike, need to be loved like everyone else.
Tell her straight up!!! My grandson has a slight case of adhd and struggled in school, 3rd grade he was a target for the teachers as being a bad kid…singled out. So his parents medicate him for just school, in 6th grade and a social butterfly, coaches, teachers and parents love him and he’s a straight A student
Purchase her a few books to read about autism. A child with autism can be the most loving.
So sad, she feels this way. You son as a highly functioning Autism child , has the world ahead of him.
It is ignorance. Prior generations would not accept any type of “ different “. Our world has evolved in medical world, as an old nurse I am so happy to see stigmas slowly decrease. Try to educate your Mom. Defend your child with your life but don’t despair if others don’t understand him.
Buy books and articles to help her understand how special he is! I had to learn about autism to inderstand my grandsons behavior❤
STAND UP FOR YOUR CHILD. Have a conversation about it and put her in her place about it. It will never go away…I have a high functioning autistic son as well. Jr eas a little quirky as as small child but eventually grew out of alot of his quirks. He is still socially challenged…but he is ok with it. He excelled thru public school with a great yearly plan, excelled in high school with honors every year and won awards and a scholarship. He graduated with honors from College and is now on the Dean’s list. There is a ton to celebrate. It will be her loss if she cannot accept his differences!!
I understand how you feel and why, my son has Downs syndrome, and even though he’s now an Adult, I think it’s still difficult for my Mother, these last few years is the most time she really has spent time with him, but I can tell it’s different the way she treats him and her other grandkids, I’m not happy about it, but I pray about it, try to encourage him to engage with her more, because he does notice how she treats him! Try to talk to her about it, it won’t be easy, let her know how it upsets you, and that things must change, you love her and your Son, and it’s important that she starts treating him like he’s her grandson
Aww sorry. I work at school with a high functioning autistic boy he is in 3rd grade and is the sweetest kiddo.
I am confused, nothing that you stated shows anything of concern. Your mom is protecting your son by asking not to bring his condition to the forefront. You do not have tell anyone of his disability. In fact why would you? Do you not want your child to be accepted by his peers or do you want him to be picked on cause his mom labelled him as different? People are cruel not intending to be that way.
As for what type of treatment, she should ask if she anything of a mother. She is concerned for her grandchild. The best way to help is through consistently, everyone on the same page. Mom’s know that, and so will you. Its not like he will out grow it or be cure, it is more like lets give him/her every advantage we can. So loosen up, buttercup. The premise was wrong, next time just ask your mom, are you ashamed of ______? And then you will be ashamed even thinking that
Your mom needs too do research on autism. Or she needs too grow up.
Ask her what her feelings are about it.Exsplain to her what autism is.Tell her your feelings.If she dont like it she can go kick rocks. Your son don’t need negativity like that from her. And you don’t either.
Give her the movie Rainman. Or get her a book about high functioning autism if she reads
Autistic people have a lot to contribute to society. It is thought that autism is the next step of evolution. It is not a negative step.
Those support groups might not be available…find a video or book that explains it. I know the internet has endless info. Except that she may not come around . So you be you and provide your child all resources possible.
I have family from the older generation. That is what they believe and think. That is not going to change, complaining about is not going to help.That is the way that generation is.
Open your mouth and start talking. Why is this so difficult???
Your son is your priority. I’m sorry but mom comes second. Sounds like you need some counseling with and without her. Ask your doctor where you might find that. God bless you and good luck.
Advocate for your son. Tell her straight out. Her talk could damage your son.
Get her a book or pamplet on autism.
Get her sme information about Autistic it will help her understand more
She may be your mom but if she says this to you imagine what she says to him. She’s toxic- she must stop or keep him away from her.
Tell her how u feel about her behavior towards ur son. N her ONLY grandchild. She should b ashamed of herself. It’s not his fault or urs. Do not let her make u feel uncomfortable. If she doesn’t like it then tell her she doesn’t need to b a part of his life. Put the ball in her court. This is not about her. She’s very selfish n unkind. 
She’s being ignorant! Tell her to catch herself up on what autism is. Any disease we google and we learn.
Your mom must be 100 years old, that’s how they acted a bout things like this,they were a shamed and sent them to group home prisons to hide them out of embarrassment and shame, these children are only sent to God deserving people, the rest will be judged at the end, for their selfishness.
It’s all new to her you just told her he has autism and in her own way she may think people will make fun of him if they know. She is from a time where it was considered a mental illness type thing. Give her a break. She obviously loves the boy. She may even think it’s something she passed along to him through her genes and blame herself. As long as she doesn’t treat the boy badly I would not worry too much.
I oh honey I’m so sorry for your ignorant mother! You just do you and your son the best that you can because it’s not gonna get any better but you know what stand up for him he needs a champion always stand up for him
Your mom is awful
It’s shame … You deserved a better mother
Being blunt? If he was my child and she acted ashamed, I’d tell her to fk off.
God bless your chid.
Tell her like it or leave it
Keep strong she needs time
Give her time to understand.