Get elder care involved sounds like she need an intervention,
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Advion roach killer. Itās a gel. You can get it online, 4 tubes for around $30. Put it all in the cracks and around the trash and appliances. Everything will be dead with in the week.
Could you hire someone to do a deep clean and then someone weekly to clean for her? I know thatās obviously not cheap and not everyone can afford it, but if she had the assistance often enough, the home wouldnāt be able to get that point.
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If she rents certain states the landlord has to pay for those services.
In MA me being a landlord I am required to have a clean living environment for my tenants. If there are bugs etc. I am responsible for that unless I can prove it came from the tenant which is hard to do in some cases
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If you canāt help her because she doesnāt want you toā¦I understand lack of cashā¦but the offer to come live with you but leave her stuffā¦is she a hoarder??
There are places that help with people who canāt help themselvesā¦ maybe try and call few places to find out what is available in your areaā¦
Call social services
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You could call the police for a well check, or you can call cps( adult protective services) and they will come tell her to either clean it or they will have to place her elsewhere
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Use combat gel in her kitchen and bathroom she will kill them out!! But you have to keep a clean trash and God get home as well while bring them under control
Well, youāre only hurting her by not telling her the truth about her mental health and her living space. Soā¦
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She needs your help , go once a week clean and spray. Yes she is going to fuss, she will still smoke and be messy. I suggest cleaning bathroom and kitchen to start then go from there. You might find she will starting cleaning a little.
Have you considered hiring a professional pest control for your momās home?
Please help her out with this.
Itās not that expensive and a few treatments would do the trick!
If sheās in a rental, the landlord is responsible for providing pest control.
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Meet her at a park, a restaurant, a shopping mall, something besides either of your homes, once a month or whatever frequency works for you.
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Be honest and it might be the push that she needs to clean up
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maybe as a start hire someone to kill the roaches then do a working bee i feel fr her she needs her own space but she needs her family too x
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Honestly she needs adult protective services to come help her!
Donāt feel bad nor afraid to confront her. You are doing more damage by not bringing it up!
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You need to call adult protective services to help her.
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So, my mum bless her soul had lived in her own shit for many many years she was a drinker and smoker. The first thing you need to do is get her a social worker of some sort like Vinnieās and salvos and they can help get the house cleaned up they can also help with her emotional well-being and teach her to unlearn all of that shit and start anew. Its a looonngg road. But trying to just clean it up from under her could really push her to a point of break down, she needs someone to understand the why and then they can help her with the how. I think itās fantastic you want to help. Just remember that being so close to the situation could mean that what you say falls on deaf ears!! Good luck and best wishes for your mumzieā¤ļø
You need to tell her thatās why you donāt come around and why you canāt accept gifts for kids either. She may not feel the impetus to make a change unless she realizes what itās costing her.
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In this case you can always call the authorities. I think that she needs help but she doesnāt want to accept it; probably she is afraid of getting in trouble and end up in an institution.
However, at the end of the day she is putting her life on the line so as other people that surround her.
This woman needs help big time, surely the family can help her out, this seems like an emergency to me.
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Check into possible senior services in your community. Often times businesses will offer discounted services to low income seniors, which I think she is! Maybe check w/ churches & get some information about what would be available to help her!! Just start asking lots of questions! Good Luck!!
Buy some raid in a tub that looks like wood putty. Put it out all around her house to kill them
As a nurse, Iād definitely suggest getting APS involved. They have resources to help clean and all
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Honestlyā¦ I live in Floridaā¦ treat her car and house. But use the gel stuff in the syringe looking tubeā¦ that stuff is amazballsā¦
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Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kindā¦im sorry but id have to tell my mother if she was bringing cockroaches to my house.Why will it hurt her? Surely she knows
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Get the landlord to set a roach bomb every few months. Dishes and some other things have to be sealed in plastic bags in advance, and you will have to go around and pick up the dead bugs and eggs after, put them in sealed plastic bags & dispose of them. So gross but it helps.
Also see if you can get bombs set off in all adjacent units so they donāt just migrate from one place to another and then return. You may have to vacate the place for 8-24 hours while it works. Should permeate the walls too. Spraying wonāt help when itās this bad, you need a total fogging of all the rooms.
Of course if sheās leaving food and drinks around theyāll just come back. Not sure what else you can do other than be blunt. Either she does something about the bugs in her home or she canāt come to see yāall anymore except at outdoor venues. She can be embarrassed or huffy or whatever, but this is not fair to you. Roaches are super hard to get rid of, especially in multi-unit housing where they live in the walls and go from apartment to apartment.
Alert her doctor or other health provider to check her cognitive abilities and screen for depression too.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom's living conditions are terrible, how can I help her? - Mamas Uncut
Anyone telling you your abusive is just straight wrong, do not believe that. Your other is a grown woman if sheās chosing to live that way thatās her decision and as her daughter, despite wanting the best for her, you want her happy as much as you do healthy. When I rented an apartment that was infest I bought raid liquid roach traps from Walmart, they were very effective as long as you replace them as they empty. I would also suggest researching options for social services and exterminators, possibly contact the landlord if she rents as the landlord should be responsible for that. Always do whatās best for your children, good luck 
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I donāt care what you do God loves you and he loves your mother but tell your husband to STFU and stop adding pressure and kill a freaking bug or two ya twit! Love up on ya Mom and tell her she brings the bugs. She can handle it. If sheās against any and everything. Rent a room over night and make every visit a slumber party at the local hotel. Start a new tradition or whatever. But itās true you only get one Mom. Let her be. Love up on her and hug her and kiss and let her smoke and soak her feet. Again, tell your husband to back off or heās stomped shit! On purpose. God bless you ALL. GN.
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She needs help with her mental health, Get her to talk to someone about her worries/ fears.
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Is this a home that she owns or rents? It may be time to call adult protective services and have them do a well check. They will provide resources to get her home cleaned up for her and provide temporary housing until her home is livable again. You cannot take care of the problem on your own. Not if the infestation is as bad as you say. Professionals need to come in and kill the roaches, clean the home, set bait traps, seal off any cracks/holes, repair any water leaks and treat or remove any furniture.
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There are different things you can do, threaten to cut ties, call adult protective services to help her get a new place and or help her get it under control, bomb the house, you can only help if the other person letās you, she has to want your help or itāll always be a trouble, my mom has the same issues but I stopped trying to help them all bc they wonāt help themselves there is only so much you can do
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Maybe upsetting her would make her understandā¦. Tough love!
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I had this happen with a friend. I suddenly had roaches. You have to first clean up the place really well. Set those roach baits and the roach birth control to keep them from breeding. I got mines from Wal-Mart. It took about 3 months of putting new bait down every week and making sure no food is left out and dry the sink area every night and tub because just water alone will keep them alive. Have her pour bleach in her toilet before bed so the roaches will die trying to get something to drink. Itās been 2 years since Iāve seen a roach and i still change the baits every 3 months now just in case. Make sure her plumbing isnāt leaking anywhere.
Call adult social services to check on her and her living situation. They maybe able to get her resources available in her area.
ADVION!!! I follow a lady on tiktok who lives in a NYC apartment that is infested with roaches and she used it and it has helped SO MUCH!
You she live in income based apartment for the elderly? I have a great aunt that lives there. She drinks and smokes.
There is this really good roach treatment called combat yea itās like 10 bucks a tube but it goes a long way it packs bk to.the family it kills em all out I moved into a invested house and was able to clean it up really nice u have to clean ur house tho leave nutin around laying out that roaches like
I bought amazing bug killer on amazon. Its around 50 dollars. Its called Onslaught. A little goes a long way and kills tons of stuff including roachesā¦and scorpions oddly enough.
She needs help from social workers. Is she a senior or disabled? There are services you can contact. Good luck!
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Some people in that stage are not bothered. They have accustomed themselves to that life. What we see dirty they donāt and theyāre comfortable. Its definitely not normal but its pretty common. My ex mother in law was similar. Then I brought her to my house in a super clean room and within a week the room was a hurricane. Then I found food hidden which a lot time is welcomes roaches. I had to constantly stay on top of her room in order to keep roaches away. I visited her home once and them things came out at night like it was a party. I tell my ex this is why you twisted, one of
Them roaches from your mommas house climbed up your ears into your brains and got you all fucked up. 
buy roach powder lay it all around the house. Have a talk with her even if she gets mad. She may not do anything about it but you can help a little. She may just need an extra hand. Also what could it be? Is it the house that is infested or is it that she doesnāt clean up and leave food behind. Try to find the source of the problem. Good luck
Try to contact your/her local Area Agency on Aging and see if they can offer some guidance on what can be done to improve her living situation.
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Adult protective services!
Adult Protection Services may be able to help you help her.
Call Adult Protective servicesā¦
I used roach bombs. They work immediately. I think I paid $10 for 3.
Pay for an exterminator to spray her house in a regular basis
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Im sorry but a lil bit of honesty will go a long ways here. U say ur mom wouldnāt want to live this way, then u be the one who helps her out of this way of life. Its ur responsibility to help kp ur mom on the rt track, when shes no longer on it for herself. Its abuse, by u and ur hubby letting her live in those conditions and not calling adult protective services, or forcing her to make a move to ur home. Help ur poor momma help herself.
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So, Iām gonna be honestā¦ THATS YOUR MOM ā¦. Some people donāt have a mom. Bugs are gross but itās not the end of the world !!! Let her bring the bugs you only get ONE mom ā¦. Either love her for who she is or feel guilty later
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There are plenty of people who would give everything they own to see their mother just one more time. I know bugs can be an inconvenience but when sheās gone you and your children arenāt going to remember bugs yāall are going to remember the person she was.
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Call adult protective services
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Iād tell her point blank not to come over. Shes putting your home, your health and your families health is jeopardy with these bugs and their contaminants.
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Call a Pest control Serviceā¦If she can afford to drink and smoke she can afford a pest control Service š¤· Your nicer than me, Iād be like itās your grand kids or the Roachesš
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Sounds like youāve done all you can do.
Maybe you should help her get this problem under control!
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If she lives in a trailer, you wonāt be able to get rid of the roaches. They are attracted to the sugar in the glue that is used to put the walls together. Very common problem, especially with older trailers.
Get in touch with social services an explain whatās going on see if they can help
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Area office on aaging
Sheās gross hon. If she can deal with those circumstances she can deal with getting her feelings hurt for a minute over the truth. Meeting somewhere is absolutely understandable in this situation. This is a hygiene issue that can affect the health of your little family. The only one that can change her situation is her and it doesnāt seem to bother her so stop babying her. Print out a brochure of the diseases that they can bring if you must. Being clean costs next to nothing. And roach spray is less than cigarettes and booze. What she is really doing is leaving all that mess for you to have to deal with some day. You can be honest with her without being cruel.
She could be having mental issues that are keeping her from living a better life? Maybe see if you can start some sort of fund raiser to help pay for pest control?
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Sweetie In my honest opinion I would call adult protective services and file a report anonymously. Now I Know that sounds like a shitty thing to do BUT it sounds necessary in the situation.
Be honestā¦you can be compassionate and tell the truth at the same timeā¦its your Mom.
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Youāre both adults and I get not wanting to upset her but perhaps itās time for some tough love and direct talk. Be real with her with the blunt facts. Maybe it will shock her into action. Since she doesnāt want to move in with you or an assisted living facility and youāre concerned about her health you might consider calling in a wellness check with DHS in her area. Good luck 
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Just put up the money to get her a monthly services. My mom was your mother in law. My mom came with the excuse she couldnāt be around the bug spray. I have a bit monthly service and there is no smell when my bug man leaves.
Def be super truthful and blunt. Iād honestly not let her visit at all because of this and only do like outdoor visits 
My mother in law smokes in her house like crazy and she had 5 cats at one point with all of them peeing all over the carpets when sheād work so it was STAINED terribly by the time she was home. She refused to keep them in areas with no carpet, and refused to get the cats checked at the vet. She just let the pee and left it. For years YEARS. Her house reeks of old smoke and cat peeā¦ itās atrocious and we donāt ever visit and our kids never have either. She comes to our place and brings the stench with her when she touches things and itās 
but she doesnāt seem to understand how nasty it is. And my husband has offered a million times to help clean and rip up carpets and paint and for her to smoke outside. No go. She wants her house her own wayā¦ 4 of the cats died awhile ago and the one left doesnāt pee anywhere. Yet she still wonāt rip it up. 
sometimes people just wonāt ever allow help.
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You need to tell her the truth about everything. Donāt worry about hurting her feelings. This is about her health and well being and the health of your family.
You need to tell her the truth it may make her feel bad but it also may make her change her ways.
Get this at a do it yourself pest control!! This is the best !! My mom had bugs really bad in her house and I went and sprayed this all over her house and it killed them all! Spray everywhere!! I sprayed really good once and was so surprised al how many there was! And then the next day I went back and swept up all of the bugs and waited three to four days later and sprayed once more just to make sure that I got all of them. This is about 14 dollars a packet. You mix it with one gallon of water in a sprayer . I like to use a pack and a half because I like it to be extra strong! It smells like rotten bold eggs. But the smell will go away in a day or so! This is absolutely the best stuff that actually works great!! Guaranteed to kill all of them in two sprays know matter how many you have!! I would bet my life on this product!!
Call the health department , have her move in with you or tell to meet at the park because youāre already going there anyways for the kids to play. I meet my kids grandparents out for things all the time.
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Get some spray and do her place. If sheās renting the owner is responsible for hiring an exterminator
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She needs to see a therapist . Often times itās a sign of depression or other mental health issue . If sheās able to work through the problem then cleaner living conditions will be sustainable for her
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Get an exterminator for two or three months to spray the place. They use chemicals which are not harmful to humans or pets. They spray around the outside of the house, and around each room of the house. I know because where I live (in the middle of the dessert) there are bugs everywhere just waiting to get inside. I find them dead inside the front and back doors of the house. They make it past the threshold, but donāt get much further past that.
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Call an exterminator and have an extermination done monthly. They can be gotten rid of and kept gone.
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I lived a place that was infested with roches, we didnāt know they were there before we moved in. The house was not dirty, roches are there for the water not dirt. When we moved out I put all my stuff in storage for 3 months and put 3 roach bombs every week. We got rid of all the rochea. You need to tell her why you donāt want her at your house so she can take it seriously and know why. If she is renting then itās the owners responsibility to fumigat the house but canāt do anything if itās not reported. O
If the owner knows about it and dose nothing then you can call the housing department to come and evaluate the house and force the owner to fix the problem and would also be responsible for paying for a hotel for your mom to stay at until the problem is fixed.
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This is a public health issue at this point. Contact the health or sanitation department and let them step in.
That is so sad.i donāt know what to say about it myself 
blessings for a better future.
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Contact the Health Board and ask them about pest control There must be a safe way to sort out her problem discretely without anyone getting too upset Just explain things to her and explain the safety conditions Things seem to have got out of hand on her and she cannot solve it alone You have only one Mother to love and take care of so do your best quietly The children will love to spend time with her when it is sorted It is a very sad situation to be in There has to be someone out there to sort it when you tell them your concerns Best wishes with it all
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My goodness you have a problem, she has mental health issues. Maybe talk to her dr.
Take her out for the day and have her place sprayed then when home spread talcum powder everywhere and they will die off. Do it again after a couple weeks and give the place a good clean and problem solved. The roaches will be gone and you can have your mumma back
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Meet in public places when visiting
Bomb her house every 2 weeks to kill the roaches and the perimeter outside
She need to keep her trash under control and if roaches r falling out of the front door itās time to bring a pest control expert. Landlord wonāt allow that level of infestation Becuz they travel through the walls. The entire building needs to be fumigated. And you guys shouldnāt have her come over until itās resolved
I never had a roach issue but a lice and bed bugs that was only Becuz my kids brought it home from their cousins house who had an infestation. We had to stop visiting and having them stop visiting for it to cease. Then my sister moved in with her kids to my moms house and then it was rat problem and prior to that flea problem. Sometimes peopleās living habits bring plague of bugs. So I donāt go over there much and itās going to take a hug life style change to break the cycle. Lots of health issues and thereās a big Hairy dog there that sheds and poops everywhere and constant barking so itās not a place for my kids. I say the truth of why. Thatās why if anything we visit only in front porch or public places.
Just tell her the truth. Avoiding the real issue is giving u problems. You may need to report to sanitation Becuz if roaches are falling out the door itās beyond repair and u need professional help! An intervention and that will cause her to be homeless but at this point she only has moving out and or senior living home available.
No more coddling or tip toeing around the truth! Her health is at risk.
my mom had same problem with roaches not the living conditions but roaches and she wasnt as infested with them they had too come and spray like 4 or 5 times it didnt get rid of them all but kept it down too a minimum of maybe 1 or 2 youre mom needs too move out or go too a assisted home and they will have too condem the place because if its infested like that they are in the walls too which means they would have too spray more then 5 times and my mom was in a apt building and youre mom sounds like a hoarder maybe shes not but sorry too say after she moves out theyre going too have too condem the place
i use too live in a rooming house like that it was infested with cockroaches 2 type of bugs and 1 type of rodents i hate are cockroaches,maggots and rats trust me if my mom was like that i would never visit if i did would be only for a short time i would be scared that they would land on my head youre mom needs too move out and if shes taking stuff with her best thing too do too kill the cockroaches is douse it in roach spray put it in a garbage bag and stick it on the balcony if you live in a apt or put it on the back porch for like 1 week it kills them dont be surprised if she ends up getting rats and bed bugs no offence and she must be leaving food out as well or dirty dishes because that will attract them too and if she has animals cats or dogs cant leave poison down because the cat or dog might eat it soo my suggestion is get her help and move her out and if shes renting too get the landlord too spray if it wasnt his fault and there were no roaches b4 he rented too her then its on her sorry all
Man up and be straight with her.
This is heartbreaking. Maybe see if she qualities for a home health aide. They will come help keep her house clean so you can treat the house for bugs and the HHA can help keep it clean so they donāt return.
Iām. Going thru. This. Some. One. Brot. Roaches. In. My. Apt. Now we gotta. Spray home. Defence. And borik. Acid
I would call the health department make here do it for herself and everyone else
Dies she have a minister that can go over?
There is a TV show called āHoardersā maybe call them for help. Iāve seen them help with not only the cleaning but the emotional side of getting rid of all the junk that older people have attached themselves to for whatever reason.
You need to tell her why.
Need to get an exterminator in there to take care of those bugs