Need to find a way to leave…
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Do not let his mother tear you down! You’re doing an amazing job and are an amazing mother. She has never lived your life, she will never understand all you do and have done.
I would personally have a chat with your husband and tell him how you feel tell him exactly what you told us. Put your foot down. If He doesnt want to change or at least stick up for you then I would tell him you’re seriously considering leaving…
I would also try to have a nice chat with his mum too…
Oh geez. What is your MILs definition of ‘normal’? That’s the first question to tackle. Her son is not working and yet you still take a child to daycare? Why is that? And, was there a reason you brought a 2nd child into your family knowing you were living at the in-laws house with an unemployed spouse? As for the bad habits: watching porn? Where is he picking this up from? I say talk with your spouse about what’s bothering you.
If he is a stay at home dad, why is your child being sent elsewhere to “save daycare costs”? You don’t need daycare when you have a parent home full time. Also. If you are working 84 hours (so 44 hours of over time) a week and can’t afford your own place, you need to look for a new job because they have to be paying you shit.
You have three children not a husband. Get rid of the man and his mother goes with him.
You CAN do it on your own.
Girl… You know what to do…
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Why is the baby going to your sisters if the dad/ husband doesn’t work? Why can’t you afford a place if you live with your in-laws and work 7 days a week 12 hour shifts? Who’s paying for your husbands weed and cigarettes if he doesn’t work? I’m so confused. Apply for government assistance. And leave . Your 5 yr old will go to school and your sister is already helping with the baby . You can get government assistance to help with day care. Move on it’ll be easier for you alone.
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I bet you would be surprised what you could afford if you drop the husband and his “bad habits” many of which cost a good bit of money that he’s not earning.
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Exactly what is the reason why you can’t afford rent on your own? Wherever you’re located, there’s bound to be a Family assistant/service organization through both state and community, I hope so anyway… use your resources sister!! The rent will get paid. Keep your work ethic, get a different job maybe, you deserve weekends off. Just sayin. Things always work out. Promise you that. Question is, are you in love with your husband, and do you want life with or without him for the rest of the foreseeable future?? If not; like I just mentioned, there are resources. Yes it can be done. Yes there is help. And yes you can pay the rent😉
If so; still go get a place of your own for your little family, and, personally if it were me, only talk to mil on occasional weekends and holidays😉
Wishing you the best of luck on whatever path you choose🌻
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Yup time to move on I’d say
Why are you paying for child care and using sitters when the “father” doesn’t work and is home all the time…
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Let me get this straight, please. You work 7 days, 12 hours per day, live with MIL, and sister babysits, and you can’t afford anything. I can’t even offer advice. YOU are the only one doing anything now!
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I have 99 questions and all of them are what the fuck?
Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job and hes just being a lazy ass. You should be able to rest when you get home from working a 12 hour shift That’s fucking bullshit. I would tough it out till you can save up some money and get the fuck out of there. Him and his Mamma can stay there and be “normal” together
When we lived with my in-laws my husband’s father beat him up twice for standing up for me
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Tell him you all need to move out and if she has problem tell her to get her son off his ass and get a job
That lady needs to keep her irrelevant opinions to herself
So much I want to write. So ill keep it simple, pack you and your kids stuff and move on. Put his bum ass on child support and let him stay with his momma. When he pops a drug test, doesn’t have a job or place to stay you should be able to get financial assistance. Good luck
You better leave that lil boy with his mama where he wanna be acting like a got damn teenager.
That’s not a grown man. That’s selfish as hell. Stand up for yourself !! To his mom and to him. Girlllllll.
You’re working 7 days a week and you come home to LET HIM REST??? GIRLLLLLLLL
Take your babies and go make a better life for u an your children it’s clear your husband is becoming set in his ways an his mother is a pain in the butt considering you are the bread winner hun
Leave. Move in with one of your relatives if you have to but get out of there before it gets worse. I can tell you from experience this will get worse and it is not worth the pain.
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Leave please leave
It doesn’t get any better. Believe me it doesn’t. He can stay with his mother
If been there. Tell him if he can’t take up for you. Then he can fuck his mother. This seems like he or she wants you out of the picture
Sorry just saying
Get ahold of your finances
Stop allowing your husband to dump his kid off at your sisters
Rest after work, your husband is lying if he says he’s exhausted from caring for a mostly independent child.
Move out.
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At a certain point you’re only going to be able to put the blame on yourself for allowing this shit to continue mama!! You sound like a good lady just trying to make thing’s happen for your family! I’m sorry you are having to deal with the foolishness. But, you gotta make thing’s happen for yourself and your kid’s. If he don’t get his shit together like YESTERDAY, good day to him!!!
Ha none of this makes one bit of sense to me at all!!! First an foremost why isn’t your husband working??? And why would you pay daycare if he’s not working, I’d be getting on a list for affordable/ low income housing and get the hell away from them both:v:t3:
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The one who should rest when you get home is you, you work seven days a week, the worst thing that can happen to a family is living with in-laws, I will move from there even if it was under a bridge, by the way.
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I think it’s time to find a new place to live for you and the kids. I’d set some boundaries in place if you want the husband to follow with you. Honestly it’ll get way easier once you’re free.
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Pack your kids and all necessary stuff, and RUN, don’t walk away. My husband always stands up for me, ALWAYS. Since your deadbeat husband does literally nothing, what do you possibly have to lose? You have your sister, at least, on your side. Leave now!
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Move in with your sister and leave the husband. Why doesn’t he have a job?
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Why does your child go to daycare if your husband isn’t working? And where does he get money for weed and cigarettes? Why are you having to work 7 days a week?
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dang, im sorry. Clearly his family is toxic for him. I would do everything i could to save the money to get out with your husband if he’s better when he’s not enabled by his family. But I can relate to this. Its almost like with my husband when we were first at his parents (he would always work on the issues id express) so it worked out. we are out of their house. keep your head up & try if its worth it. My husband almost like went back to being a high school kid when we stayed with in laws. which i understood to soon degree because that is how he remembers his parents house. good luck mama 
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So what do you need him for, what is he contributing? and what happens to the money you earn? Sounds like you would be better off on your own.
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Pressure him to get a job or just move away find family members if you can and move save and get a place for yourself
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Time to get them boots on…and walk. Leave that man with his mom and see if you can share an apartment with one of your relatives, or a friend.
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why isn’t your 6yr old in school? do you guys have oshc? I’m pretty sure living in your in laws house you’d be saving money so you should have enough to put 6yr old in oshc that way hubby can work as well also can you cut back on hours so you can be home by at least 4 to look after kids? or find a cheap rental if you’re working 7days a week
Get out and take your kids!!!
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2 things
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MIL is not who you married f#ck her.
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Get your own $ somewhere and stary saving up for YOURSELF to leave with your kids. He gonna drain you
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You’ll never get your own place if that lazy slug doesn’t get off his ass and help provide and save. Take it from someone first handed, you’d be better off without that anchor around your neck
Take your kids and go not paying for him will save way more than you think especially if you have family or your sister to help just go!
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Girllll, get out of there! There is a way you just have to find it.
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Is telling her to kiss where the sun don’t shine and option and kicking him out
Put your big girl panties on and if that don’t get it done throw some grannie panties on, you are a woman and do what you have to do for you and your kids!
Take your kids and move out. Like yesterday. Do not settle for this worthless man child and his shitty mother !
Living with your in laws for 3 years? F-ck that. Tell him to get a job so you can move or leave his a-s.
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Hugs!! You deserve so much more then you are getting. Look at what you are getting done on your own now. You literally are the sole provider and he is leeching off you. Even worse is he is leeching from your kids. Marriage means being a team to give yourselves the best life possible. He isnt holding up his end.
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Leaving with your in laws for three years! That’s ridiculous. Get your own place for your own family and your husband gets a job.
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If you are having thoughts of leaving, then you’re already making the decision to go (at least in my opinion). If you’re unhappy and your husband isn’t supporting you, then it’s time to go. You’ll figure out the rest as you go (and there are plenty of state services your would qualify for).
It’s worth it to your children to see you happy and functional. Be a good role model to your kids. Take the advice that you would give them if they were in the same situation
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I have questions? Why if your husband is home all day do you take your youngest to your sister? He should be taking care of that child too. If he has no job where is he getting the cash for weed and cigs? You shouldnt be having to work 7 days a week. If your mother in law doesnt like the way the 2 of you have arranged things then i suggest your husband getting a job as well and you 2 moving out. Its not going to get better.
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If your sister is watching the baby then why is he home??? That makes no sense. Sounds like he’s siding with his mom if he won’t have your back. I’d get out and take care of stuff on your own. The bum can stay with momma
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the grass is greener on the other side it is not worth the stress on you i would put my foot down and if that doesn’t work its time
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Apply for housing for just you and the kids. If he has time to lay around, smoke pot, and watch porn, he’s obviously not watching the kids and should they really be around someone like that who is supposed to be a role moddle? And why is the youngest at your sisters if he has no job? And your mother in law is right…your not normal…and she is lucky for that…cuz most normal wives would have kicked his ass by now…she should be lucky you have way more patience then the rest of us. Kick that POS to the curb…apply at social services for housing, daycare, food service help…nothing wrong with help while your at work. Least you try, which is more than I can say for him.
You have already made the decision and you will be better off
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They both sitting at home while you are working and sitting up there Talking about you!!! That is too MUCH!!! You need to Leave both of them!!!
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Cut costs on daycare say WHAT. If he’s at home all day why do you need daycare or your sister?! Wtaf. This whole situation is a nope.
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So…You’re working 12hrs a day 7 days a week, then coming home and doing everything, so He can get a break? But your sister in Law watches the baby? What the hell does He need a break from? Smoking week and cigarettes. Maybe He should get off his a$$ and get a job so you two can have your own place instead of living with his toxic mother. It seems like he expects you to do everything while he doesn’t do much at all and then his Mommy has the audacity to put you down and he doesn’t have the balls to stick up for you. If he can’t man up, I would pack up and leave. You deserve better. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you can stay with a friend or family. He needs to grow up.
Sign up for assistance for housing if you can’t afford it once approved leave his butt with his mom and make him give you some child support because it sounds like he’s a deadbeat and for his mom if he’s slaving away let her deal with him and provide for him on daily basis because taking care of your grown son is such a normal motherly thing to do! Then you get rid of both the issues at once! You deserve better, you deserve time with your babies… they’re only little once. Working 7 days a week is it really worth it when you see no light at the end of the tunnel and you miss out on so much with your babies? I’d stay just long enough until I was approve and put money back constantly so when that time comes you’re good to go and slowly pack random things and take them to your sisters. So when you leave you never have a reason to return!
See an attorney yesterday.
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HELL NO. Daycare? For him to sit on his butt? Move-in with your sister and get housing assistance when you file for divorce.
Yeah that’s a big nope. Especially for her to call YOU not normal when your husband can’t even watch his own kid or defend for you that’s not normal it sounds like he still sucking on mommies titty .
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Sounds like you’re superwoman and he’s a momma’s boy. She obviously wants to keep him home and is overstepping in every way. You should get out of that house asap, there is help for struggling mamas I hope you find what you need mama!
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You already know. Pick yourself and your children over a lazy mommas boy. You and ur kids deserve a better life and a man who helps out on all levels. Not a little boy. Good luck
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Leave 
as fast as you can and don’t look back
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Leave and move on to a brighter future
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Change your checking acct., credit cards and address for direct deposit or take his name off bc there are federal programs that will help you and he doesn’t deserve any consideration since you are the bread winner. Move ASAP!
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You are an adult and letting these things affect your life. Only you can change that.
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You have the job & money, leave. Him, the toxic MIL, the house. Get your own home. He can visit, MIL cannot.
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Sounds like you need to get a lawyer, file for custody of the kids and divorce. If he isn’t really helping anyway (especially since sister watches kids), he won’t stand up for you, he has picked up habits that are costing you money as well…Leave him to his mom and you and the kids go. Maybe see if you could stay with your sister?
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Leave don’t waste your life on someone who has no respect for you plus he is doing drugs not a suitable environment for children your MIL is a witch make sure your husband does not have any access to your money put everything in your name you deserve better but only you can make it happen good luck
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Let his momma have him .And tell her to kiss your @$$.
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The people telling you to leave your marriage and just run are crazy. You two have a child together and if you married him for love then you need to sit him down and make him fix it. Now if he doesn’t want to fix it and if he does not understand that your wife is supposed to be number one! Your wife is supposed to come before any living person in this world yes even more important than your children. If after you have that talk with him and he does not make improvement then look into divorce, but just running is wrong. Only time I say run is if a man is beating you. I hope this helps anyone reading this.
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You already know in your heart what to do.
He and you need to try and move out. Pray. Give it all you got. Let God take the wheel. That woman is vile. And your husband is cheating with porn. What else have you got to lose. Give it all over to God
If you work that much you should be able to effort rent…
Put money aside this next half year, make a plan and leave! Get a lawyer, to ask how to get your kids with you, legally… And go
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Get out as fast as you can!!!
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Don’t say a word to him about ur leaving get things in place frist then have the talk
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It’s time to get a hold of that husband and let him know things have to change…and if they don’t you need to find a change for you and your kids. This is a toxic situation that will end up not only affecting you negatively but also your children…there is help for rent out there. Think of your kids in this above all else. Good luck!
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Run… don’t walk get out with your children. It’s toxic and he has no loyalty period. Let his mom raise him and focus on your future with your children
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Well get your own place then🤷♀️
He needs to step up!! There’s nothing wrong with a woman being the bread winner but sounds like his mother is being an enabler and he is a mamas boy!! They will never change…you can’t raise a man…Fuck that TIME TO GO…he either coming with you or he can stay home with his mama 
Talk to an attorney now. You don’t deserve this kind of treatment and neither do your children.
Why are you guys using daycare when he is home? I would maybe suggest couples counseling and definitely moving out of your inlaws. There are usually all kinds of programs that can help with moving and affording everything. If he isn’t watching the kids and they go to the sisters there are more problems. He also sounds like he is struggling and making couples counseling and he should go to therapy.
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I suggest you sit your man down an talk sense into his head, point out those things that really bother you and your marriage. Open up your mind to him an if he doesn’t change from all things you have pointed out then you can file for a divorce. Moreover mothers in-law are not suppose to be Living with you guys, she can only visit an go.
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Leaving is always an option. Just do it. Low income housing, roommate, family. You deserve better
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Time to plan your departure - say nothing and start putting a little something away out of your pay each week to be able to go and rent somewhere. This mother/son combination is not healthy.
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Leave on vacation for a week. Leave the kids home with him and tell him dont ask anyone for help. You had to do the full time job and work without any help and so can he. They will all appreciate you more. If a person isn’t worth your life time, you need to find it somewhere else even if it means doing it alone. You’ll feel a heavy rock lift off your chest. Life is too short
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Oh honey. Please get out of there. He should be doing everything he can to make a home for you and your children. Something needs to change. Hes Mommies boy for sure!
id be out of there quicker than a rat up a drain pipe, she clearly wants you on a downer so she can overtake. please try and get yourself and your babies out of there as soon as possible. you need your sanity.
You work 74 hours a week, do 40 then time and a half then probably double time and a half.? Still can’t afford an apartment in any city in the country? You could have bought a robot husband at this point!
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I would be asking my sister , could you stay with her ,until you find another place
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Not sure why he’s a SAHD. Your oldest is school age and the baby is at your sister’s house. He needs to be also providing for your children financially. Instead of sitting at home all day (while your MIL is likely caring for the child) he needs to be off his butt and working. You need to have that conversation. Put the oldest child in extended day (due to your schedule make arrangements with your sister to pick the kiddo up by 6 pm) and that leaves the literal entire day for your husband to also have a job. You have to put this in motion as it seems your husband has reverted back to being a kid himself. If he doesn’t get a job and start trying to help your family move out then you start saving enough for you and your kids to move out. Whatever you do DO NOT allow him to move with you UNLESS he has a job and is contributing financially to your household.
This is an issue in your marriage, with your husband-not your mil.
He needs to grow a pair and stand up for his wife. You might need to not so gently remind him and see if that does any good. If not, I’d run like hell. ASAP.
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Dump him, dump the mother in law, dump them all! (Keep the kids tho lol)
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Your husband sucks. Honestly his bad behavior could be partly depression… Could also be that he’s a serious Mommas boy, still. Either way he needs to get his act together. In the 3 years you’ve been at his parents, why hasn’t he gotten a job? You shouldn’t have to work 7 days a week, and why doesn’t working 7 days a week make it so you can move out?? Even a smaller apartment should be affordable.
Also, next time your MIL reminds you of the shitty person you are, remind her about her own lazy son, and let her know you’re a badass for picking up ALLLL the slack while he gets high and watches porn. He doesn’t need to stick up for you, though he should, you just need to be more vocal about your warrior strength.
You’re talking a lot about his mom…yet, you’re taking your baby to a babysitter when the father doesn’t work. Keep your husband. Nobody wants that deadbeat and you clearly don’t mind him.
Working 12 hr shifts, 6 days a week, 3 yrs living w in law and can’t afford your own place yet…?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother in law told me I am not a normal wife and my husband won't stick up for me: Advice?
You deserve happiness. Been there done that. Run to the courthouse to file divorce and custody papers. Have a friend serve him. Let his momma keep his drugging porn watching unemployed self.
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Maybe it’s cuz im a sahm… but how would it be different if the roles were reversed? Your saying your the sole provider etc… usually the roles are reversed. Why are you judging him for smoking, etc? He’s doing his job as a parent right? I could see if you were saying he’s lazy & doesn’t do anything etc. But if he’s doing his part & your doing yours… the issue is living with the inlaws. Your mother in law apparently thinks you should be the one at home etc which w.e. why can’t you have things worked out though where someone is watching your 5y.o. for some time so your husband can work & you save $ to move…especially if you’re staying with family ? You need a plan. I wouldn’t up & leave your husband your mil needs to mind her business but that never happens with family & sorry you gotta deal with that smh. She’s gonna side with her son & im sure he’s feeling overwhelmed being a sah parent & your gone. It’s not fair to fault him for trying to deal with the situation… thats something you’d have to work out. He prob feels stuck he can’t say anything to mom & you can’t change what your doing… gotta come up with a plan to get away from his family & see how yall are (if things were good before that)
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Since you work literally put your money in a seperate bank account and leave. He’s living with his parents. Ask to move in with one of your friends. In home daycare are great and there is alot of help for single mothers out there
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Well you are living with his mother at her place, her rules, her son…he is probably afraid to speak up for fear of getting ousted…if by now he hasn’t made an effort to get your own home something is wrong…and he is more than likely happy with the living arrangements…and will not change by this point…my suggestion is to move out…with a family member of your own or a friend temporarily until you have the funds to go it alone…and serve him papers…with all of the lack of support for you you have to support yourself, both physically and mentally…ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him…
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Leave now, your children are learning how to treat you when they are older and learning how to treat their future spouses
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