It’s all of u or none of u.
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No I would not be comfortable with that at all, I’d be scared a heck leaving my daughter if I couldn’t communicate with the person who has her, also if she doesn’t want a relationship with you I’d be scared she would turn on your child as well… family has done some scary things before and I wouldn’t chance my child’s life
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Nope. No one is taking my kid somewhere i myself am not welcome. Nope. Nope. Nope.
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To not want a relationship with you is one thing, but to refuse to communicate with you is not on. What if she had your child and there was some kind of emergency, what, shes going to contact your sister to contact you etc?! If she cant be civil and communicate with you at the very least then I’m afraid she doesn’t deserve a relationship with your child. She sounds very petty and a bit controlling, not positive things you want your child around x
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Thats to bad. If she can’t follow your rules then she doesn’t need to be involved. You’re not crazy by far and that’s manipulative behavior to get people involved like that. She needs to grow up.
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Nope… My baby wouldn’t be being dropped off with her under these conditions…
Life’s Too Short make it work.
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Grandparents are there for advice IF asked.Depending on everyone’s attitude you can’t beat a loving family
Sorry to say this as I’m sure ur already conflicted but if ur mom can’t abide by ur rules house guests ex hubs significant other and not to mention doesn’t speak to u or ur husband I’m sorry but bye bye see ya in the rear view mirror ! This is ur child she had hers she did her thing now u do yours ! Good luck god bless:pray:
Maybe bonding with the baby will open her heart. Something similar happened to me but now that parent loves my son more than me lol
It’s cute to see
Good luck
Tell her you will let her see your child at your place once she has completed at least 6 months worth of therapy.
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Nope. There’s clearly a maturity issue. Not everyone deserves a spot in your child’s life, regardless of their relationship to you.
Trust me your gonna wish one day you took back everything you just said. You only get 1 mother, see what’s bothering her. Communicate with each other as much as she don’t want to. Come on that’s your mother ! She’s your reason to life. If it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t be here. Trust me! Mines is resting…
Look All I’m saying is get in good terms quickly! Tomorrow is NEVER promised. I wish you & your family well.
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Not wrong! You want to have a relationship with my child, the LEAST you can do is be awhile enough to be civil with me and speak to ME about MY child.
You are not wrong…I would wonder what her agenda is if she wants to spend time with only my daughter and not with me. She could do some damage to your relationship with your daughter if she wanted to.
It’s not your mothers choice of who you have your child around she’s being very petty. She either wants to be a part of your family or not. I would not be sending my daughter off to her grand mother if she refuses to communicate with you. God knows what she will do with her and what if something happened. She doesn’t know the baby or her routine because she isn’t around you. Definitely not she needs to grow up and either be in all of your lives or none at all.
If she can’t communicate with you, then she shouldn’t have your child, what if something happened, like she got hurt badly and needed to go to hospital, without that communication with her, its not worth the risk in my opinion.
I agree with you. Your mother needs to grow up
Negative, she doesn’t want a relationship with her own daughter for petty reasons, what would she do with your child behind your back.
Honestly for people who may tell you “shes your mother” and “you only get one” need to get bent. Just because they are related to you doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them or your kids have too. If my mother was toxic I wouldn’t GIVE A FCK that she wanted to see my child. Not your child, cry me a river. IDGAF. Don’t let people tell you some dumb sht like that.
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If your mother wants to be in your daughter’s life badly enough then she needs to make amends with you first. That’s Just how I look at it though
My mil tried that. She seldom talks to her son, never talks to me, and we seldom visit(once in the last 4yrs). She tried saying she was gonna come “take” my son for 2wks. On her holidays from work.
I laughed. Told my man to tell her “over my dead body. He don’t know you and I don’t trust you. So no.”
No guilt. It is what it is. It’s MY child. My way goes. Easy peasy.lol
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I don’t think you’re wrong at all…My Husband and I don’t allow my brother in law around our children because he has been so malicious to us in the past, especially me…And to us, if you can’t be civil and respectful to the parents then that in turn hurts the child…You can’t openly hate on a child’s parents, especially in front of the child, and talk about how you love that child…If the parents love their kids and aren’t abusing them, then you got no business talking badly about them…Also I would be PISSED if a family member took my child to see someone I specifically didn’t want them around and not only took them there, but dropped them off…I get it she’s only 12wks so she can’t talk or understand anything, but babies can feel energy and if its allowed to continue I’m sure at some point she’ll hear something…
You are not wrong. If your mom wants a relationship with your child she needs to build a relationship with you.
If your mother doesnt want to see you, i wouldnt let her see the baby, you are a package deal. She made her choice to step back, she should grow up and be a mum/grandma.
So many stories like this about at the moment, with the difference being the grand parents are being pushed away. So feel your sadness, upset. Stand firm. Your mother is being a bully.
No!!! you are not wrong
You are not wrong. You are the mother.
In my opinion, if she wants a relationship with your daughter then it’s a package deal. You, your husband & your daughter. You’re a family and that’s the way it is. Hang in there.
If your mother doesnot have z relationship with you or your husband then she should not have one with your child.
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Well as a grandma myself I only want to say that if your Mom does not want to be in your life she can’t expect to be in your childs. I can control who is in my life and my home but not my children’s. It seems to me that she is upset over your Father’s choices but that should not translate into her dictating who can be around your daughter. Obviously I do not know the entire story but you are the parent and you should discuss this with your spouse and decide what is right for your family together.
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Sorry but your the parent not her if she cant be bothered the child will see adventurly where she is loved. Your mum can make a effort or dont have a chance with granddaughter just cause shea bitter about her ex and his gf
Without communication she cannot appropriately care for your daughter. You wouldn’t leave your daughter with anyone that didn’t communicate with you.
Nope. You have to accept me to see my baby.
Your daughter is a BABY. Heck NO she can’t have a relationship with her without you. If this were at all conceivable to me, it certainly wouldn’t be when the child was still an infant. What kind of alternate reality is your Mom living in?!
No hell no! My mil is like this. She treats my son like gold, but treats me like shit then expects me to let her see my son. She is dead ass wrong. Bc I think that one day she will end up turning my son against me. The things she says to me are mean, harsh, judging and disrespectful. I don’t want my son to talk to me that way or think its okay to talk to me that way. So I had to cut it off. You never know what she might do or say with your child if you are not around.
How would that even work. I would tell her no thanks. You guys are a family she can’t just decide to have a relationship with your child but not you.
Nope! Not wrong at all!! My mother & I have a very tumultuous relationship, but her & my son have a very strong bond, We communicate with each other, even thru the hard times for HIS sake. If she’s not willing to be an adult about communication, that’s going to lead to a toxic situation for your little, and no parent wants that for their child, no matter who the toxic person is!
Not wrong! You and baby are a package deal. If she doesn’t want a relationship with you, she shouldn’t get to have one with baby 
No for the simple fact that it’s unsafe.
If your mother were to go through your sister to see you child then what would happen if your baby got hurt or needed to do to the doctor while she was watching her?
Tell you sister to tell you that something happened?
Nope
It’s your child. Talk to your Mom, clear the air.
You say you’re hearing from other people your mama wants a relationship with the baby, but she’s not talking to you. Find out where you stand.
My kids had multiple grandparents growing up. It’s fabulous.
Ultimately, ITS YOUR DECISION-YOUR CHILD.
I think you are right.
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My mother didnt allow me to see my aunt for years over a stupid argument and she took me away as punishment towards my aunt. I have resentment towards my mother for using me as a weapon against my aunt and taking me away from someone I adored as a child… What Im saying is, forgive but dont forget! Let her see her grandchild because you dont want your daughter resenting you when she grows up because you didn’t let her have a relationship with her grandmother!!
Your mother needs to get over it. She should not let her jealousy of your father’s girlfriend get in the way of a relationship with you. She is being petty and jealous. That’s unacceptable.
It’s the opposite for me. My daughter has hated and disrespected me for years. She keeps her only child from her own family. Mental illness has alot to do with it. I say if the child is not in danger physically or mentally, they need to know their family.
Your not wrong. I grandma wants to be around your child she has to be around you and make nice whether she likes it or not.
waaw all this people telling you keep away your daughter that is wrong she is your mom if she wants to see her grandkid let her
She is wrong in about not about not wanting to be involved in your life and your husband life maybe if you called your Mom and explained your feelings she would come around but don’t allow yourself be pushed to let your sister take your daughter to see your Mom without you present if she truly wants a relationship with you and your family she needs to face you and make peace with Everyone God Bless you and your family
I would not take my child into a toxic situation like that. Grandma needs to grow up.
No I definitely wouldn’t because tending to children requires communication and a mutual understanding. If she is taking care of your child it’s her rules and none of your input. Also I think as your child get older she won’t understand that dynamic. I think your mom needs time to reflect and will hopefully realize she is not making good decisions and try to make amends
No your not wrong. I would not feel comfortable with that situation either. How are you to know if she’s taking care of your child how you would want. She obviously has no respect for you and so who knows what she would do or teach your baby.
Ur right for doin this and ur mother or not keep her at a distance cuz u don’t want harm to come to ur child at all and if she can’t respect u for ur decisions and choices then she has not earned the right to b around ur child
I believe you are completely in the right,she needs to come to you and talk about a relationship with your child.
A relationship with you and hubby is MANDATORY if she wants a relationship with YOUR child.
Your child should not be with someone who won’t communicate with you even if she is your mother.
Cutting you out of her life because she can’t control you is childish and petty. I wouldn’t trust her.
Only when she is old enough to make thst decision on her own. Until then, no. You have to protect your baby.
Nope your not wrong at all and I’d be the same way.
DO NOT let anyone take your child to your mom. Either she has a relationship WITH you and your child together or she has none at all. She does NOT get to dictate the relationship to fit her needs! YOU are the child’s mother, not her! When the child is old enough to express they want to see grandma, then you may want to do what the child wants and that’s ok! Right now that little baby needs YOU!
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No, no, and nope. She has to go through you to see your baby. Not communicating with you is not an option. You obviously don’t trust her judgment, so you wouldn’t feel your child is safe with her. At 3 weeks she already was fighting about your rules, so I expect she wouldn’t follow and might deliberately break any rules you attempt to set which could be dangerous. Have these go-betweens tell her she can talk to you, or she can wait until your child is 18 if she chooses to reach out
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Children should be never used as pawns. But if your mother has issues. With you or your choices. It’s on her! Not your child.
Now what needs to be done is to talk to her, find out ,why,what’s and who.
Then leave it with her.
Keep on her until the truth comes out!
Now if she can not come and see you and your family on your terms. Then it on her!
It’s your home, your family!
Sister need to help with the situation, but never as delivery or pick up! But as to communicate.
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No way! If you all can’t be treated right. She shouldn’t be allowed to possibly influence your daughter in any way
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Nope! NTA in this one! Different story, but same … My hubby’s mother cannot have a healthy relationship with my husband and respect boundaries… that being said, we don’t let her into our daughter’s life. She has to have a stable relationship with us in order to have one with our kid. It’s heartbreaking, I hate that my daughter doesn’t have more grandparents around to love her, but we thought hard about it and really didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to be in the middle of the turmoil that gets created.
My mother is they same way. And I’ve told her many times. If she cant respect me as the parent of her grandkids then she cant see my children
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I’m with you! My one sister and I were estranged for a couple years when my older kids were infants. she was mentally unstable. My mom babysat for us one day a week while I worked. I was very clear that she was NOT to visit when my kids were in her care. If you cannot trust the person watching your child (your sister) to respect your wishes (not taking her around grandma), then I would not let sister watch the baby either. But that’s me. My kids are #1 and if my family can’t respect the way I choose to raise them, then they don’t need to be a part of it. Whatever you decide is right for you, will be the right answer. YOU are the mom, you call the shots. Grandma had her turn with you.
Just because she is your mother does not mean she has to be part of your life or your daughters life. She sounds controlling and toxic and it’s ok for you and your family to distance yourself. Your mental health is more important.
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You aren’t wrong. Also it sounds like your mom is going to make your life miserable. She doesn’t respect you and won’t follow your rules as your child gets older. Don’t give in to her. She’s the one that needs to apologize to you and realize that you are an adult and a mom.
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Your child your choice. I have 2 daughters with children. They parent differently and I follow their rules. And I have a great relationship with them and my grandkids.
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I don’t have a great relationship with my mother, but I allow my children to have a relationship with her. She picks my son up and they go places or she enjoys time with him but I don’t go and get involved. I can remember as a kid how my parents and grandparents didn’t always get along and I wanted to see that set of grandparents but my parents didn’t take me there to visit. Granted they didn’t come visit much either, but the main point is as a young child I was hurting to get to know them better. So I have swallowed the pride my parents wouldn’t and as much as it sucks I find a way for my children to spend time with my mother even though she and I don’t need to spend time together
She’s just hurt be patient she must still love your dad. Would you want your. husband’s new girlfriend around your baby? I think not. Just let mom know you love her and need her. As we get older she knows that you were busy before but with a new baby she knows you may not have time for her.
You are your child’s parents. You get to decide who will be in your daughter’s life and who won’t. I am sorry that things are so unhappy with your family. Right now your mother is being unreasonable and demanding, so I say, that at this time, she does not get to have the baby at her house. No. Your sister may NOT take the baby to your mother’s. She is too young to be carted place to place by relatives. If your mother wants to see the baby, she can call you and ask nicely if it would be convenient for her to go over to your house and visit with ALL if you. It is not acceptable that she doesn’t want to spend time with you and your husband, but that is her choice. The baby stays with you. Perhaps give her time to calm down and think more clearly. I hope she does because she is going to be lonely and furious at Christmas. In the meantime she doesn’t get to see you, your husband, or your baby. It’s too bad, BUT YOU ARE IN CHARGE! Good luck and make Christmas plans that will make your little family happy!
You are not wrong…it’s a safety and peace of mind thing…you have to be able to communicate with whoever has your kid. This is no time for kindergarten 
…
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No you’re not wrong. She is acting immature, and wants to control everything. If she wants to see your child, and be in her life, then tell her yourself that she can only see the child on your terms. She’s not the one in charge, and it’s about time someone tells her so. If she can’t accept that, then that’s her loss. Don’t feel guilty, and other family members shouldn’t be involved as well, and shouldn’t be playing the go between. Sounds to me like they all need to grow up, and act like adults, instead of children.
I can speak from 42 years experience. I was not the favorite daughter in law. Things were said and done to me that i could have been mean. I lost my mother when i was 18. My dad was in my children’s life for 2 years before he past. Knowing my kids would not have any memories of them I made sure to let my kids be close to their other grandparents as possible. I love hearing those memories they share now. We are not promised tomorrow. Let her be a part of the childs life please.
Nope. You are the most important person in your child’s life. You are her teacher, protector example of love that she needs. I refused to play politics with my daughter when she was a baby and growing up. She eventually got to be with grandparents but I was also there. To this day my daughter is still my best friend.
A true grandmother wouldn’t make you choose, the love is natural and unconditional! Be blessed!
I’m sorry you’re being put through this. Your mother is wrong. She isn’t your child’s parent. Be careful. If you give in to her, someday you will regret it. She will try to take your place with your child. Good luck.
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if you let your mom do this, she will be dictating your life by not wanting involvement with you and your husband and basically calling those shots… she has some growing to do as a mother and a person… not everything in life will be on her terms… she may need to learn that lesson this go around… Sorry she is dragging you and the family through this… you and your husband need to enjoy your daughter with or without your mom for the time being…
Absolutely … Do Not do that…that baby is yours…Grandmother…( I would never call that person a “Grandma”)…has made a very hasty decision …she will be missing out on a lot of love…too bad for her😕
I was in almost the same situation with my Mom-in-Law. She wanted relationship with my oldest son after his father died but not the rest of us (siblings). I told her he can come visit her when he was 16. I kept my word. When he got back he didn’t want to have anything else to do with her. She bad mouthed me and the rest of family. Formed his own conclusion.
Unfortunately, mom would not have a relationship with her grand daughter without having one with the parents. Mom is going to miss out on precious moments with her FAMILY because of her stubbornness. Raise your daughter without guilt and keep your mom uplifted in prayer. Peace.
I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure the kids saw their grandparents until they could drive. Then it was their decision. And it just might heal your relationship. Some heartaches take longer to heal (meaning your mom seeing a new woman with her ex)
I give you credit for not letting your mother dictate you or your childs life. She has no right. My Mother was one of 10 children and if she was mad at one, she didn’t want me to associate with them, and I told her it was her battle, not mine. Stick up for yourself and your decision. Good Luck and God Bless your daughter.
If she agrees to family counseling and you can work on your relationship, there is a better chance at real restoration in a healthy relationship to offer your child ! If not , just walk away till healing is a priority ! Babies don’t have need but for parents till a larger awareness comes around age 3-4
You are the parents, and it is your decision who may be around your daughter. Your mother is acting like a “victim”, which she’s not. I would not allow a family member to take my daughter and bring her to your mother. If she wants to see her, she should communicate with you and not acts like you wronged her. Your child, your rules.
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I agree with you, your sister shouldn’t have to be the middle man so to speak. If she truly wants to spend time with your daughter then she should contact you. Follow your heart if you don’t like it don’t let it happen, mother’s intuition is a powerful and strong thing.
Absolutely not!!! She is your child and your mother needs to either get over herself or go have a nice life! She is trying to manipulate you and your family for her personal gain and it will end up hurting everyone in the long run if your don’t put your foot down now.
I would tell whoever you got this info from to tell your mom you would be more than happy to let her see the baby (I am going on the assumption your mother is a trustworthy person and your not afraid to leave the baby alone with her) all she has to do is call you. I absolutely would NOT cater to her having someone else pick the baby up from you just so she can see her. If your mom truly wants a relationship, she’ll come around. You’re not wrong for not allowing her to overshadow your parenting.
A truly loving Mother/Grandmother would never have walked away from her Daughter or her Grsndchild. The baby is yours, you are in charge, to keep her safe from harm! Your Mother walked away, now she wants to be in the baby’s life, but not in your life! I would be fearful of allowing my baby to be alone with her.
I think you are being fair. It is your responsibility to protect your child. If your mom is so petty that she is willing to risk a relationship with your daughter, or you and your husband, just because you let your fathers girlfriend see her, then she seems unstable
It doesn’t say a whole lot about a mother who does not want a relationship with her own daughter, therefore save your daughter the inevitable heartbreak and wait to see if she can have a change in her heart. She is your daughter and you should do what you think is best for her and only her!
I agree with you 100%. If your mom didn’t want to be your mom why should you let her be grandma. First your mom needs to realize what’s she has done and start treating you with respect about your child. I currently doing that to a couple of my relatives because they don’t want to grow the heck up. my mom doesn’t break the rules on how I am raising my kids. My kids do fine cause she knows I am a little strict bout my girls. Or how some people say protective mommy.
Nope! Grandma needs to grow up before she misses your child’s life moments!
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If your mother wants a relationship with her granddaughter then she needs to respect that you are the child’s mother and that it is your right to decide who is around your child and that she has to have a relationship with you and your husband and she is welcome to come to your house to see her granddaughter, but that you are not having your sister get in the middle and take your child to see your mother. If she can’t respect those terms then she really can’t be interested in the relationship
Definitely not. Honestly, that entire situation is filled with tension and confrontation and that’s just not the best environment for your daughter. If your mom is so petty that she would let something like that get in her way of you and her granddaughter, move forward with your life without her. She’ll either come around or live with the regret of her own actions. When your daughter is older, maybe she will choose to seek a relationship and at that point I think that is up to her. The main point being, absolutely no way should you allow someone else to take your child to see your mother. This isn’t a custody situation, this is pettiness.
If your mother wants nothing to do with you or your husband then she has no rights to be in your child’s life when she wants to grow and and quit acting like a child and comes to you and asks for a relationship then she can have one but untill she realizes she’s in the wrong nope not at all she not your daughters mom you are and you have every right to say who sees your child and who dosent and if she don’t like it then tough it’s her loss not anyone else’s I feel up with out family members due to a similar reason and I’m proud of my parents for standing up for themselves and me when I had no voice
Nope nope and NOPE. It’s her loss. She can be the bigger person. Who knows what she will and say and how she will act when your child is with her without you. I know 15 weeks isn’t old. But they can feel how a person feels. I wouldn’t allow it. So sad she is so selfish because your dad moved on.
If she can not be adult enough to respect your wishes then I would not allow her to be at it’s your chi with our you, my mom tried the same and was out of mine and my child’s life for over a year.
Nope. Cut your losses. Let whoever is telling you things second hand rumors aren’t your business. She may grow up and apologize and learn her place and she may not. You and your husband made a new family forsaking all others. If she cant respect him and you as the head of household, guardians of your blessing, she doesn’t belong.
She does not deserve to see your baby at all. If she wants nothing to do with you that includes your child. I’m sorry you are dealing with this at what is supposed to be a happy time,
I think ot depends on what your mothers relationship was with her granddaughter. I have been in this situation for the past 2 years. I was the ONLY babysitter my granddaughters had for 8 years. I catered to whatever my daughter needed and went to their house. This daughter married wealth an
I would not want my child to be around anyone with her views. Stop her seeing the child right now. She some ideas I suspect you don’t want passed on to your child. Sounds like your child has enough extended family members to love her to have to put up with someone who it sounds like can’t get over a failed marriage. Tell your sister not to come to get the baby and let her pass the message on to your mother. She will either come around or suffer a big loss in her life,