No, under any circumstances! If she can’t have a good relationship with HER daughter, how/why can she with YOUR daughter? Can you imagine the seeds of bitterness she would plant in your daughter’s life if you allowed this?And why are other people butting into what is you and your husband’s business? 
If she is that childish that she won’t communicate with you. I would say absolutely not.
If hypothetically she had her and there was an emergency. Do you want to wait around till she got ahold of someone to get ahold of you.
Plus as your daughter gets older it would put her in an awkward position that a child doesn’t need to be put in.
If Mom grows up then revisit this.
Had simular situation with my mother for 5 years. No relationship with me untill in her death bed. Then was sorry saying she loved me after waisting all that time and had lost that time with her grandchildren. Her regret.
Maybe counseling with her could bring restoration and healing into this relationship.Without some healing and understanding I would not allow my child to be subjected to by such a toxic dynamic.
Tell your mother when she finally works through her issues with a therapist, that you will re-discuss. Also, you can’t have anyone take your child and not communicate with you while they are in someone else’s care. That’s just crazy thinking on your mom’s part.
Compromise would be to tell your mom she can come to your house to visit the baby and you will give them alone time for 30 mins.
No, you are not wrong at all. She knows where you live, let her come to you. You are the parent, not her. It’s her choice to stay away. As a grandmother myself I can’t even imagine dictating to my daughter and son in law in what pertains to their child. She made the choice, let her deal with it. Good luck sweetie…
Stick to your beliefs. You didn’t do anything wrong. She has no right to dictate who can or can’t be around your child. She had her time to make those kinds of decisions when you were born. Reaching out to her isn’t out of the question, but don’t back down.
Absofreakinlutely NOT!!! My paternal grandmother tried to do this to my parents. My parents wouldn’t allow my grandmother to take me and raise me. I loved my grandmother dearly, but I’m glad I was able to have a relationship with my mom, who passed away last June. I’m also grateful for having with my dad, who may very well be near the end of his life. I’m visiting him now in the hospital near my sister’s house - I live in Florida.
Not in a million years. You raise your child the way you want. Talk to your mother and tell her you love her and want her to be a part of all of your lives. It is important that she know she is welcome to see her granddaughter. The problems she has with your father are only that. Remind her that love for a child is unconditional. You either love them or you don’t. You can’t love them only if they see certain people. The more love a child gets the better that child thrives.
Not on your life. I would make an attempt to talk with my mother once more to clear the air; but she would not dictate with whom my spouse and I determine can be in my child’s life; unless there was a danger element.
My two cents,from experience, my mom who I was with12 years refused to see me ,because my biological mother came when my child was born,for months,I took my daughter to moms house,my dad would come out to the car and take her inside,and I would go back and he would bring her out to me.this being said,I have no regrets
No one has a right to take your baby to someone who doesn’t even acknowledge you or your husband. She has to be the one to come to you and ask to interact with the baby. She also has to learn that she is not the mom and can dictate what your baby has to learn. You have to teach your baby and so does your husband.
She needs to grow up. Your child , your rules. If she does not want to be around the ex and the girlfriend then come see you and the baby when they are not around . It will be a shame as she is going to miss out on so much. I wish you luck.
There doesn’t need to be a perfect relationship with you but definitely communication with a mutual agreement on how the treatment of your daughter will be. So NO on the hunt dropping her off and nothing between you and her 
I am a great grandma and I would climb mountains to get to my grandchildren. (6 & 3 great) If she wants a relationship with your daughter at your house and maybe down the line if they get close you would feel more comfortable with her going to Grandma’s. My youngest grandchild (6) is having a sleepover with me tonight, and I love it even though I am too sick to do much to entertain her she still loves to come to Nana’s. Go with your gut feelings and everything will work out. Blessings for all
NO! U are not wrong, but your mother definitely is. She needs to get over herself and do some growing up!
1 Like
My mother and I didnt speak for 5 years but never was I so selfish enough to keep my children away from her or the family…Just because you dont get along doesn’t mean they dont love her…If she is 15 she is well old enough to decide who is in her life especially family…Dont use your grudge to keep her from her family…Set the boundaries again your daughter os old enough to enforce those boundaries…
Don’t do it. You’re mom is controlling and allowing your child to interact with your mother could be psychologically damaging. She has you second guessing yourself and your decisions. Not healthy. Your first responsibility is to the well-being of your child, not your adult mother.
Nope. My mother tried this years ago. Now she doesn’t have a relationship with any of my kids and regrets her decisions. My child, my rules. Not the grandparents rules. And now that I am a grandparent I couldn’t imagine dictating to my daughters saying who couldn’t be in their children’s life. If sh wants to be in your daughters life then she needs to be in your life as well and she needs to back off. She’s not the parents.
The only one who will lose our is the child. Grandmas and grandpas…are essential in a child’s life. The mother of the child should make good. Her child may resent her when grown. For the child’s sake. End it.
You are right I would not let her have my daughter of she don’t love her own daughter you she is not gonna love you daughter if she wants to see you daughter she needs to visit you to see her
Toxic. Better she left early than after there was a relationship bc she is bound to cause many issues between you and your child. I hope she can see and change this before it’s too late, as grandmas have a special bond with grandchildren…usually. The fact that she could stay away for 3 months… Idk about that.
If she does not communicate with you 100% and defer to you or your husband as the baby’s PARENTS, then she is sadly disillusioned as to the type of relationship she should expect.
Good Lord she needs to grow up! Unless she has a valid reason to still be toxic about your dad this is ridiculous!
She is disrespectful to you. If she wants to see your child it needs to be with you. You are the child’s mother and you will always be the one who decides who is in the child’s life. That is not your mother’s decision to make. I would not want that kind of controlling attitude around my child. I am a great grandmother and I understand my role. I may not always agree but I have to remember who the mother is and who is in charge.
Your child is your responsibility and as her mother you must always put her first. Protect her always and when she is older she can decide if she wants a relationship with her grandmother. Until then, be happy and confident with your decision.
You are not wrong at all. This is your child. If grandma wants a relationship with her granddaughter, she needs to put aside her jealousy and enjoy the time she spends with her.
Just curious…if she tried to have a relationship and has regrets, as you will to later in life because no one is a perfect person or parent, would you still hold your ground and punish your mother the rest if her life? Don’t think one day you won’t disappoint your child and they may have learned from you how to never forget or forgive.
You are not wrong. You are no longer a child living in her home, you are married and you all have produced a child. It is you decision who that child sees and when & where. If your sister wants to continue to see your child, she would do it in your home only, until your Mother gets over her jealousy.
You are in the right,Stick to your guns.If your Mother can’t come to your rearms then it’s her loss.She can’t make you not let your father and his girlfriend see your child because she’s butt hurt by your Dad.Tell her to grow up and get over him.
From a great grandMother that has been there.
No, you are not wrong! Your child, your responsibility to keep her safe. You don’t know if she is safe with someone who wants to hurt you (emotional or physical). Stand up for something or fall for anything.
I would not feel comfortable letting my baby go. If she wants a relation ship with the child she needs to grow up and have one with you too. She sounds manipulative and vindictive.
No, do not allow a drop off. If she wants to see your daughter she can reach out to you and see her on your “terms”. In the end, she is the one who looses. Hopefully your baby has other positive influences.
I would no way let anyone take my baby out of my eyesight for a minute no matter who it was. A fifteen week old baby doesn’t need to be shuffled around between family members no matter who they are.
Do not let her have her way. She will only say bad things about you in front of your daughter. Not only that but you will not know who or what your daughter is exposed to when your not around. You or your daughter don’t need the drama! Sorry but your mother needs to grow up!!!.
Your sister is wrong, she should be encouraging a relationship with mom and dad, without mom and dad, no daughter!
When you continuously get denied and pushed away you try to respect the parents wishes but eventually give up. I still keep a small amount of hope tucked away though.
I’ve tried with my son for over 15 years. My grandsons are 2&4 now and neither has ever been to my house. Their father has a farm less than 1,0000 from my house. He and his wife have hurt me more than I can describe. I don’t need a lecture… I’ve tried everything.
It seems as though this 30’s generation has not considered the feelings of others. No replies needed, just stating the facts.
I would never hand my child off to someone they did not even know. She had to have a relationship with the family. She is not trustworthy in my opinion.
Your mother should not be able to dictate who sees your baby or not. Your sister should not be taking that baby anywhere without your permission. If your mom doesn’t respect your decisions and your husband’s, she should not be involved in the life of your child.
First of all. …who the hell does your sister think she is!!! Did she have your permission? That would be the LAST time she would have my kid. Your mother wants to see her grandchild, she needs to call YOU! I am a Grandmother, so I know how to respect my children.
No you are not wrong, and if your sister take her to your mother’s house than goes to pick her up, who is to say that your mother will let your daughter go with your sister? If she doesn’t want a relationship with you and your husband than she doesn’t get one with your daughter.
NOT, it’s a privilege to be a mom and a grandma …some people haven’t deserve it
1 Like
You are not wrong at all . Your mother needs to grow up . Life goes on . You do not need her approval for anything . you are the adult she is acting like a 2 year old . Go on with your life . If your mother can not have a relationship with you and your husband then she can not be in your childs life .
I’m sorry you have a strained relationship with your mom, sounds like it’s her choice. You can reach out ,if you like ,but remember, your child your choice . Personally, I would NOT let anyone have my child who isn’t willing to put their ego aside . Good luck !
Tell her u understand her being upset with dad and having a girlfriend but he is still your dad and u love them both and this is the way life is sometimes but she can come and be part of u and your daughter or not. But she can’t just take your daughter
You cannot allow any jealousy…anything between you and your grandchild. I know her feelings and it is hard but putting all that away is so worth it!!! She will be glad!!
Before your mother can have a relationship with your daughter she must have a relationship with you and your husband. How will your mother know anything about your parenting style if she does not have a relationship with you. By allowing your mother to have your child delivered to her like a parcel. She is being ridiculous. This is a small baby we are talking about how confused she will be.
How very sad and immature. I understand your mom is hurting perhaps from your father having a girlfriend but nothing is more important in this world than your children and your grandchildren. She is cutting off her nose to spite her face.
It would have to be with all or none at all.You are not wrong in any way shape or form.Stick to your guns all or none.Maybe she will come to her senses eventually. IT is a privilege to be a grandmother 
a n d without stipulations.
Your mother is being inappropriate and will live to regret it. If she can’t have a relationship with you and your husband then she shouldn’t be given the opportunity to form a relationship with your child!!
Shame on her!!!
Absolutely not. Your Mom needs to put her big girl panties on, see her grandchild, and accept the fact what’s done is done. She’s got no right dictating who can and can not see your child. Time for grandma to grow up. Yes, I’ve been there, I’m a second wife and I never, ever infringed up my stepson and his biological Mom’s life.
My mom never wanted to be part of our life until my boys were 8. 9 and 11. Then she acted like it was all my fault.
No I would not send my baby with sis to visit her. The mom needs to visit you or you take your baby to visit her
You are not wrong. Your mom needs to put on her big girl pantries and grow up. Do not let anyone take your baby to her. If she wants be part of your child’s life it is on your terms!!!
I wouldn’t do it! She has to respect your wish. To me it sounds like she is being childish about it
No you’re not wrong, you’re the parent if she doesn’t want a relationship with you, she doesn’t want one with your child. Be firm and let others know that unless you have said so, no one should be dropping your child off to anyone without your permission.
Sorry but your mother is bonkers. She apparently doesn’t understand you are the mother and an adult. I wouldn’t trust her around my child. My in-laws tried something similar. They found out they didn’t see their granddaughter alone. My daughter decided not to see them because of their prejudice when she was 7. She saw them once since then, when my mother-in-law was 2 days from death. She didn’t see her grandfather before his death. It was all over religion. Anyone not a Lutheran was evil and going to hell. The ironic part is my mother-in-law requested to see the Rabbi before her death without her husband knowing.
Your Mom sounds like she has issues which you can’t cure but be aware she may have legal rights depending on what state you live in …too bad your Dad and her can’t agree to make you and your child more important
NOPE! You will respect me, or you will not be around my child. Because we are not teaching our kids those types of behaviors!
I had a mother in law butt in I saw it coming and Yes the kid’s want nothing to do with me. All I did was kept them fed clothed and bought well way to much for them but words are deeper than the material world. The third party needs to let families be families. Words of wisdom
I know the answer to this, but do you want a man’s perspective on this? Didn’t think so, but anyway. Hell no don’t give in to her. She is too immature to be responsible for caring for your child. Put your big girl pants on and stand your ground.
No no no! She needs to remember the good times and move on. She should never tell you who your daughter should be able to see. Not normal!!!
I would not let any of my children have a relationship with any family members that I don’t have a relationship with. You are not wrong with how you feel about it. I personally would not trust her period.
The child is an infant, no one should take her to see anyone! She needs to get over herself!
No you are not wrong in my opinion. Your daughter, your choice who is around her as long as you are keeping her safe - which I am sure you are doing. 
Your mother needs to grow up.
Hate to say this , but, she needs to get over it ! Still your father, and there must be some civility ! No telling what kind of garbage she would tell your child ! She does not get to tell you you can’t have a relationship with your dad and his significant other!!!
It sounds like she is trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants with out regard for your wishes or a compromise.
Your mom is acting like a selfish control freak! Her jealousy of your dads girlfriend is sickening. If it was me, I would be worried about what grandma will be filling my childs head with while she has her.
Well grandmother is not allowed to be by your daughter’s side until said daughter is of age.
I’m sorry this is going on, just move forward and if your mom wants to join in the fun let her if not that’s her choice.
let no one ever even family…except of course your husband take that child out of your sight …she could try to keep her…she could run with her…she could call cps and report the baby’s been abused by you or your husband…no nope noway…
1 Like
I can’t believe your mom wants nothing to do with your daughter. Do not give in to her whims. She made the choice to not be in your lives. Even if your husband and her can’t be friends they can be civil enough to be around each other. For your sake and your mother’s.
I raised 4 if my daughters children because she chose drugs over her children. I then adopted one of my friends daughters. We stay in touch with her birth mom. My daughter was 23 hours old when I brought her home. She is now 16 her mom chose drugs over her child. Now I am raising 3 of my son’s children because he chooses his kids mom over them. She is a drug addict and an alcoholic. There is no way I would not take in my grandchildren. Your mom needs time to figure out what’s more important her family or being alone.
Try not to let this distance last too long. The longer it lasts the harder it becomes to bridge that gap. Do reach out to her. I know she will be missing little one but she is probably missing you too.
I would not drop off child as grandma is being unreasonable. I know she is baby now but I would worry about her influence on child. Call her and invite her over. Don’t mention gossip. Every week invite her over for a visit
Well I’m a real mother and I feel my child’s life opinion and rearing is on me if I grew up with a grudge because me and the grandmother don’t see eye to eye am I don’t allow my child to see their grandmother due to my personal feelings I’m very selfish I would wait to my daughter is old enough to make her own decisions to ask her grandmother why exactly is that she doesn’t want to speak to my parents and allow her The Choice to see if she wants to continue having a relationship with her grandparent due to that but I have no point will be the bearer of bad news to my child when I grow up when they grow up to say I didn’t let you see your grandparent because she didn’t like me didn’t want to talk to me I would never do that to my child
Forget her. Move on and hv a great life wi your lil girl. Your mom will regret it and maybe will apologize whn it hits her what she is missing!!
So they want you to hand your daughter over to your sister so she can take her to someone else that doesn’t have anything to do with you, so you would have no idea where she is or if something happens to her 
uhmm absolutely not
No you are not wrong at all. If your mother really cares about your child then she will talk with you and your husband. If she chooses not to talk to you then she also chooses not to see or know anything about your daughter either.
Your mothers toxic behavior is not conducive to any kind of healthy relationships. If she wants to know your baby, she must make it right with you and your husband.
I would never send my child to someone who didnt want a relationship with me. No telling what she might say to the child as she grows up. Hey, yall are a package deal - all or nothing
if she isn’t going to communicate with the parents of the child I don’t are who it is they have no right being around the child , period ! As far as your sister goes about dropping off at your mothers I would keep a close eye on her and never let her take the child anywhere , she could be visiting mom without your knowledge .Your gut feeling is there for a reason , listen to it .
This totally your call. Your mother needs to grow up. This is not about her, it’s about what is best for your daughter
Your mother is very wrong. You don’t need this drama in your life, nor your daughters life. She should be ashamed of herself.
I’m sorry, but NOBODY is taking MY child that does not want me around, regardless of the reason! I would STRONGLY question what are the motives behind this. Sad situation, but…no!
She could end up taking your baby!!! She sounds very dangerous to be around… Not healthy Stay away, until she…grows up!!!
You’re not wrong. No communication with you or your husband no way she doesn’t have the right, that’s your child and I wouldn’t trust your mother she might take off with your child because she’s pissed with you. You and your husband make the decision and don’t allow your sister or anyone decide your child’s well being
No way would I let my child go to anyone’s home that did not want me or their father to be a part of the visit. She’s trying to control you now why the child is young and it will continue to grow. As the child grows she may go against every rule or guideline you set up for your child. She is immature, selfish and controlling.
If thats the way she feels so be it ,its her lost not your you have more family then her and the baby has another grandmother that will love her as much if not more i know
you are the guardians of you child… your mother is letting jealousy interfere…she can t have it both ways… she has to communicate with you and your husband to even be able to get permission to visit your child…tell her that, and if she can t handle that, you tried…
Not a chance in hell… I feel bad that she is giving up her right…the ultimatum back fired… such a sad loss for her grandbabies are the best
If she want to see your daughter you should be there as a family ,l would not let anyone take your baby to see her she needs to get over it
You are absolutely correct, you decide who can see you not see your children. If your mother wants to see your child she’ll have to come to your house end of story!
I believe in my heart that you already know. As hard as it can get, your baby comes first.
No! It’s your child. You set all the rules. If she can’t communicate with you like an adult how can you think she would respect any rules or boundaries you set? No I would not allow that at all.
1 Like
If she wants a relationship with her grandchild she needs to grow up and do it on your terms. She can come to your home and visit
No sounds like a very narcissistic person she doesn’t dictate anything to you anymore ! Your child your rules !!
so selfish…, sad. I sorry. It won’t get better so let her do what she does and concentrate on the positive people that are in your life.
I’ve always felt that there can never be too much love, but I also know to trust your instincts.
You’re not wrong. If your mom can’t have a relationship with you and your husband, then she isn’t capable of having one with your infant.
Your child your choice, it will only confuse your child wondering why this person doesn’t want you around, since you are their world and security you make the choices when they are young, trying to make you chose one or the other is so very immature, her loss
Big Nope Nope Nope! Enjoy the peace and quiet. It was her decision and her loss. She sounds very toxic.
I would make it clear that you would love your mom to have a relationship with your child, but at this age, it also includes having a relationship with you.