My partner called me a bad mom for wanting to have a baby shower

Need advise I’m 22 weeks pregnant and I was about to start planing a baby shower and when I was bringing up food plans to my mom and husband we decided to go the extra mile to make it separated so not a lot of people touch a bunch of food cuz of covid. After my mom left my husband goes in depth that if I’m any bit nervous about getting covid while pregnant I wouldn’t be having a shower because if I get sick and lose the baby he said he’s never forgive me. He’s never been super on board with a shower he doesn’t understand it’s a celebration to kinda spoil me and welcome our son. I ended up canceling the shower because I don’t want to get sick and don’t want to fight about it. I feel after 2 days I canceled the shower to prove I’m being a good caring mom to my unborn child to protect him when I still want very badly to be spoiled and center of attention and celebrate my son and get gifts because we have nothing and have 4 months left. He implied me wanting to have a shower was being a shitty mom and not caring if I get covid…again and possibly lose the baby but I’m fighting with the idea I built up and I think I deserve a shower it’s my first. He also thinks we don’t have the good friends that will show up or buy gifts but I know I have family. I don’t want to fight but I don’t know how I still end up getting a shower

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner called me a bad mom for wanting to have a baby shower

It’s actually potentially better for your baby for you to get it while pregnant because your baby would get the antibodies your body is making to fight it off.

My friend caught covid when she was pregnant with twins. Her twins are 3 months old now. Have the shower! Screw what he thinks.

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Can’t live life in fear I’m glad I wasn’t brainwashed go have ur babysower life already to short as it is not to celebrate

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This is rediculas don’t listen to him.

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Hugs dear. I didn’t go to my first child’s baby shower my family threw for me because I was arguing with his dad about it. Fast forward 10 years later and his dad isn’t even in th picture but i had a shower for my 2nd and loved it. But I understand wanting to keep the peace. You could do a drive by baby shower if you are worried about covid. A friend of mine was too sick to attend hers so they had her sit on her porch and family and friends drove by and offered gifts advice etc from a safe distance.

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Well first of all, the shower is to spoil YOUR BABY! And to help you have what you need. It’s not to spoil YOU!

This post is literally all about YOU.
A shower is a huge help especially for your first child.
If you’re worried about COVID- do a drive through shower.
Let people mask up if they prefer. You’re not a shit mom for wanting a shower. Its shit that you’re making it about YOU being spoiled and not your child.

If they come they come. If they don’t they don’t. :woman_shrugging:t3:

You need to do it so that you can better protect you and your baby. It’s a good thing to build up the antibodies to fight

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Please speak to your doctor, as they will give you the best information as to what you should do for your specific pregnancy. No one knows your medical history (except for maybe your husband).
He is right that you shouldn’t have a lot of people over, that way you don’t put yourself or the baby in danger from Covid. However, you could invite like 10 people or so, & just make it mandatory that everyone is vaccinated & boosted, that way you all stay as safe as possible, but you can still celebrate you & the baby! :black_heart:

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If he felt that way, why did he get you pregnant during a pandemic in the first place?

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Make a list with prices of all that your family and friends would likely have showered you with and ask him to purchase it all while you take a spa day. See how he feels about that.

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Have you tried a zoom baby shower where people can send you gifts and you open them while on zoom. You could also send little care boxes to people so they can eat as well.

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Try doing a virtual baby shower. I’m in Florida snd my family’s all over the country so we dud a fb live shower. Everyone sent the gifts to my moms house and I opened them on fb live with family and friends that couldn’t be there in person.

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Have the dang shower! Celebrate the baby!

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l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18410 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome891.pages.dev/

You could always do an online live baby shower. Have gifts dropped off to you or sent to you and you go live opening them all.

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So I had COVID when I was 4 months pregnant my son is 15 months. And my pregnancy was really high risk. He’s just being selfish and maybe he just doesn’t like all the attention on you.

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have it outside if it nice where u live

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Have the shower. Covid is here, it’s time people learn to live with it. He is completely in the wrong and just trying to scare you. Make sure you got hand sanitizer. Have a good time and congratulations!

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I just had my baby shower at 29 weeks with over 50 people attending. Have the shower. Celebrate yourself. He’ll be grateful when you get all the gifts and yall dont have to spend that money on everything yourself

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Sounds like he’s afraid and making you feel bad because he’s unwilling to be honest.

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He’s an idiot and trying to be a controlling, manipulative fuckstick. So many women have had covid and not lost their babies. What about if you get the flu? Will he divorce you? Like seriously, he needs to grow up.

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Have the shower after the baby is born and have it outdoors?

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He is being ridiculous and sounds like a dick big time. Does he go to work and is he around people? He could bring Covid home to you too if that’s what he’s worried about. :roll_eyes: I had Covid while I was pregnant and after I had my daughter but not from my baby shower. It was from the doctors office because that’s the only place I went because it was during the time Covid was really bad. I think he is just using that as an excuse for whatever reason and it’s very selfish of him to not want you to enjoy your day.

Have a baby shower and enjoy it. Covid isn’t going anywhere, Don’t let it ruin the fun in life…

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You and your son deserve a shower. You can catch Covid anywhere. Your husband needs to grow up, he sounds like he wants to control you. I had Covid in my first trimester and I’m doing fine. The shower is a support for you. Make it a floating shower if you are worried about the amount of people, that way people can come and go as they please. And ask everyone to not come if they are sick.

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He sounds like an ass. I’m due in August and am most definitely having a shower. I would hope by now people know that if you feel sick to stay away.

Can you do a virtual shower or a parade? People just drive up throw them gift on front yard and you sit away and wave. Can decorate area they drop gifts with a tent and balloons. Tbh though COVID is going no where. I would still have the baby shower but wear a mask since you are pregnant and more at risk.

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Have an online shower or drive through shower

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I had covid when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Baby was perfectly fine.

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Where do y’all find these partners tell his ass buy everything then :upside_down_face:

Have a shower after the child is born with only a few people.

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I had Covid at 10 weeks and was fine… of course I didn’t feel good and was achy and didn’t take anything but vitamin c but baby was fine and I’m 34 weeks now… I think you should get your shower if you really want one!

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Any partner that says you’ll be “a bad mom if…” needs to fucking go.

I had a baby shower last September. I normally wasn’t concerned about covid but was during pregnancy. Everyone wore masks, we had cupcakes and finger foods. We also say as close to 6 feet apart as we could. Have your baby shower. It’s your first and you only get one first baby everything. Or you could do a virtual shower too, or a drive up shower. They give your baby a gift, give them sone cake and they drive off.

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Have an on line shower. Have gifts dropped to you and have everyone log in and watch you open them. You can show your appreciation and stay safe

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Tell this man to quit his job and stay home. He is willingly putting your babies life at risk every time he is around any other human who could infect him with covid and then it’s passed onto you. Don’t go shopping. Not even for food. Don’t go to the doctor. Both of you need to stay indoors . Covid is everywhere. If he disagree that he needs to do this then he has no place saying no to a baby shower .

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Your husband’s attitude sucks. You can get Covid anywhere, and how dare he blame you. I’ve lost 3 babies, and not once did my husband say anything was my fault. Have the shower! You can make sure to supply hand sanitizer and maybe do it outside, like a BBQ. There are lots of ways to celebrate you and baby, and be safe.

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Just have an outdoor shower. Make mask optional and get a family who would be willing to serve the food but absolutely have a shower if it’s what you want and it helps with people getting things you need

What would he do of you had a miscarriage for undetermined reasons?

I think he could have put that across better. Yes you are carrying another life but you are also your own person, secondly remember the baby is for the both of you and your method of protecting the child is different for each parent. Come up with an a baby shower arrangement that works well for u and also puts your husband at easy.

Have you’re baby shower Your husband can very easily get Covid the same as you stop allowing him to make you feel bad he could very easily bring it home to you

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He’s using COVID as an excuse. He just doesn’t want to spend the $ on a shower. He’s selfish, you deserve a baby shower every mom does.

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I’m so sorry sweetie. :disappointed: I did my baby shower in the middle of covid never got Vax and we are healthy as healthy can be. She is now 5 months old.

He sounds like a jerk. And needs to get a grip on life.
Have your shower be spoilt enjoy your day.
Make separate food plates so no one has to touch everything.
Have it outside in a park or big back yard He doesn’t have to attend if he wants to be a jerk.
If you’re going to get covid you’re going to get it,it’s not going anywhere. Do what makes you happy.
It’s your first baby be happy celebrate and enjoy every single second.
He has no right to blame you if anything happens to the baby regardless if it’s from covid it can’t be helped you could get covid from the father just as easy as from anyone else.
Let your mumma organise it. You deserve to be spoilt it’s your last 4 months of life being about you make it memorable.
Oh I’ve also lost alot of babies and my husband has never blamed me ever.

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I am so sorry you are married to a very controlling selfish person. That is sad. You could get covid going grocering shopping but I bet he still wants you to do that. You should absolutely have your baby shower. Just do it and don’t include him. Shame on him he doesnt want you to shine. You could have it in your back yard.have your baby shower.people enjoy buying gifts for the new baby. Your husband has a problem. I will pray he starts thinking of you.

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I don’t know where you live,but in some counties in my state there are only 2or 3 cases .And COVID isn’t going anywhere,so have the shower.

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You can get covid going to the grocery store to buy diapers. Have a shower for you and the babe. All Moms desert it whether it’s you 1st or 10th babe. Your partner sounds toxic af though. Saying if you get covid and lose the baby he’ll never forgive you that’s a horrible thing to say to an expectant mom. He’s trying to control you and make you sound like a bad mom and your friends are bad etc. He sounds like a manipulative pos. What’s next nobody can ever meet your baby and he can’t go to school cause of covid? It’s here to stay

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Maybe you could have a drive by shower! You still get spoiled and the baby still gets stuff, but you dont actually have to be around anyone!!

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Tell him to get busy buying everything!

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Its a baby shower I think he’s making too big a deal.if COVID is a concern have people wear mask and sanitize.i feel it’s more jealousy of him not being center of attention.

Tell him he is a bad dad for going to work and possibly bringing home the virus to his pregnant wife and child. Why did you let him get in your head and manipulate you like this? It’s only going to get worse. Just get vaccinated that’s the best thing you can do. I finally got it this year after taking all precautions and working from home. Don’t put up with his bs either.

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I say have the shower. Covid isn’t going anywhere so we have to learn to live with it just as we do any other illnesses.

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Do baby registry and do Skyping

Wow he needs to calm the f down with all that! Have your baby shower and enjoy it!! Sometimes being a single parent is hard but so worth it in the end. You’re dealing with a manipulative and controlling a hole

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Have a drive thru baby shower!

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He sounds like an @$$hole. Have the shower if you want it. I must be a shitty mom too because I haven’t made my 15 year old daughter with autism wear a mask in over a year and we have went and done all kinds of things and no covid.

You can have a virtual shower I know it’s not the same but when I was pregnant almost 2 years ago with my son that’s what we ended up doing because we couldn’t have an actual shower and it ended up getting us the majority of our stuff that was left on our registry. We just did some little games and I did a gift card for the winner. I’m having our second son in 6 days or less and we had 2 baby showers planned this time around but both of them ended up not happening because of nobody wanting to attend and no one has helped us with our registry either so we have literally had to do everything on our own

I mean some people do take covid precautions more seriously than others, and there have been some cases where people did lose their children due to complications of covid, but I feel like if you’re both not on the same page then maybe you could compromise and do a virtual shower?

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You do still have to be careful, covid is still around and it’s still killing people.

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Holy crap. Red flag. Watch out for this guy. You deserve a shower. Maybe make it outside in the backyard or at a park? Or a drive up. You sit outside at a cute set up table and people can drive up and visit yall drop off gifts and leave. Or rent a bigger space and you wear a mask if it makes him feel better. Don’t let him ruin this for you. Has he always been controlling and talked to you like this?

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Hate to say this but sounds like your husband is self centered, controlling and manipulative… sorry you give him control of your wants and needs.

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Have your shower. U could even have a virtual one. He needs to calm the f down. The amount of stress about u being a “bad mom” “risking COVID” “risking losing the baby” is so unsafe for the baby and worse then the risk of COVID its self. HE is putting you and the baby at risk by causing this much stress on you

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I was 8 weeks pregnant when I got COVID
Baby was perfectly fine

Can’t stop living your life because of covid. I had a baby shower, never got covid. My husband brought covid home from work when baby was 5 months old and we all lived through it. Tell your husband to suck it up a d live! Have a baby shower!

He could bring home the flu, you could get in a car accident, etc. there’s no end to the what if game. Just ask that if anyone has been sick or around sick people they don’t come. Have the shower if that’s what you want. Talk to the doctor with your husband. COVID’s here now… we just live with it existing same the flu,colds,RSV. If we’re healthy we will hopefully be ok. How weird is he going to be when kid catches sicknesses from school.

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No no. You have a baby shower. You or your man can catch covid anywhere at anytime, so you might as well have it.
I worked as a sanitizer at a college while being pregnant and i never caught it. I didnt get covid until my son was 6 months old and we both had it and were just fine. I also had a baby shower and never got covid and i had people come from different states and different cities. He is using it as an excuse and as a controlling mechanism. Go have fun. You let you and that baby get spoiled.

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He sounds controlling as hell and wants you to do only what he wants… i go to work and stores been to the zoo and other outdoor things and even to a big mall in my state it’s been 2 years I have not got it and I have a lower immune System ohh and my little one goes to 3 different therapy’s a week and one is all day and is with others all the time she has never got it either… have your shower enjoy your day for you and your baby 

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You do what you want to do, it doesn’t make you a bad mum at all. Not really relevant but hopefully you can see a positive in this, I avoided covid for 2 years working with young sick children every single day and the day my waters broke I went into hospital to have my son and tested positive on a rapid test. My partner and 2 other children also ended up catching it off me so my newborn son was around and fully exposed to covid for the first 2 weeks of his life and never got sick or contracted it. Being pregnant with covid proved to actually give him the antibodies he needed to be protected from it once he was born. So there was a positive that came out of having it pregnant… my son ended up protected from covid rather then get sick from it x

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I say you run while you have the chance. This is just the beginning of an extremely controlling relationship.

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Yeah I’d be careful about him honestly. He seems like he is jealous because you will be celebrated. It’s kind of weird because as other people have said….drive they baby shower, virtual baby shower. Require Wearing a mask and having bottles of hand sanitizer in every table. There is definitely ways around Covid. If he’s jealous about the baby shower be careful with him being jealous of the baby when it comes. That’s so sad

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I would tell him to kiss my butt and have my shower Covid precautions can be used to me that’s a red flag I’ve been with my hubby 25 years he’s never told me I can’t do something to celebrate me

Runnnnnnnn! If it’s this bad before baby is even here, it’ll get worse when you are sleep deprived and caring for a small screaming leech. :joy:

You deserve a baby shower. Y’all deserve to be celebrated, you are creating a new life!

There’s nothing wrong with taking precautions and planning out how to best avoid sickness. 
All moms take precautions when pregnant that’s why we aren’t allowed to eat certain things like lunchmeat. In this new Covid world I don’t see why you would be a bad mom for thinking in advance of things you can do to protect yourself and baby.

I would have the shower, If you are worried about food contamination etc. then think about personalized plates or a caterer.

I had my first baby shower in a teahouse as a brunch event food costed about $250 it was a small event of like a dozen people we had a prefix menu and we were served like we were in a restaurant. 
My second baby shower was a bigger event we called it a baby Q and we had barbecue catered it came in metal serving trays with tongs to pick everything up and we put hand sanitizer at the beginning of the Buffet line.
I honestly don’t think the food would be where you would get Covid.

I think everyone being together in the same room breathing and coughing on each other and then hugging on you and touching your belly and playing those games that they have to get up in your personal space and wrap the string around your belly would be more likely to cause sickness.

So I would have a large room, lots of open space, hand sanitizer available,  and just say on your invitation if you’re sick don’t come. You could make a nice and say if you’re sick don’t come we’d love to see you but we can make alternate arrangements when you’re feeling better or something like that. 

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Why would you lose your baby if you got a cold?! Or the flu?! Many pregnant women have gotten the flu and colds and Covid etc and baby was fine…
He sounds like a turd. So controlling and an ass…
Do the shower.

The way this is worded sounds like he honestly doesn’t like you being the center of attention. It could be that he has good intentions but we don’t know. This is one of those things you’d really have to know they guy to read the intentions. Because this is worded like he’s simply bothered by you being happy and the attention and party for you. Almost manipulative. Disguising toxic behavior behind “good intentions”. To guilt you. Covert narcassist behavior. But literally without seeing his mannerisms we can’t say.

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Sounds like he doesn’t want you to be the centre of attention⛳

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Dump him. You are in for nothing but a lifetime of misery and self doubt with that dude.

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Fuck that! Have a baby shower! Do it outside, make people wear masks when they approach you or buy some at home kits and have them test when they get there. To not have one is not fair to you. Or do a drive up baby shower. I mean let’s be honest covid is the new flu. It’s not going anywhere ever so what we have to cancel any and all fun in our lives. That’s like saying the baby doesn’t deserve to meet anyone ever or have a first birthday party…. Covid isn’t going away, we just have to live with it. If he’s still working that’s selfish he could catch it and bring it home or you can catch it at a store :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: don’t stop your life because of covid!!!

How about a small outdoor gathering where anyone getting near you must wear a mask? I agree that an indoor gathering is a bad idea. COVID cases are surging right now. Ask your OB about appropriate safety precautions. Alternatively, you could go virtual.

Just do a shower without him at a restaurant. You don’t need a bunch of games and prizes just go to lunch with your family and enjoy the love they show you!

:astonished: Ditch the dad before it’s too late

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Sounds like he doesnt want u to soak up amazing attention…i get the covid thing but thatsa massive excuse sorry not sorry …dont cancel it ma…enjoy tgis pregnancy and do all that u want bc life is about to change immensely after hes born…excuse my french but fuck thattt

Q: Have you two ate a restaurant at all during your pregnancy? Because there’s not much difference than sitting in a rented room, hall or home with family and friends: people everywhere, sitting down together, eating, talking, for an hour or two.
Have your shower.
Have one outdoors.
Take whatever precautions for your own body and health (rapid tests, social distance, mask).
Covid isn’t going anywhere and those that care about you, and are also comfortable and/or prepared to attend, will.
Congrats on your bundle! :blue_heart:

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Maybe you can do a drive-by shower. Do you have copies of your ultrasound yet? Take a picture with your phone camera and put the picture in emails to your guests. With your emails give a list of everything you still need for the baby. Don’t go expensive. I know everything is expensive now, but I mean, don’t go to one of those fancy store registry deals where everything costs triple what it should. With a drive-by shower, all you’ll need to buy are some balloons for your mailbox. I would also get a box of cupcakes from Walmart to give out as refreshments. People could drive to your house, wearing masks, and you could come out, wearing a mask, pass out the cupcakes, and they could pop out of the car and drop off your gift. Easy Peasy. You could even have your thank you notes made out in advance to hand out with the cupcakes. Surely your husband would consider this safe. You would briefly be outside, masked. Not cooped up in a room with a lot of people. Yes, of course there wouldn’t be games, unless you could come up with an ingenious way to do it online. But it’s better than nothing. I think it would be fun!

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Give in this time you will be doing it you’re whole marriage hav you’re baby shower you deserve it

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Well, that’s a shitty thing for him to say … do you not leave the house? Or visit family? What’s the difference? Covid is only a threat at a baby shower but not Walmart etc?

I mean regardless whether you have a shower or not you can get sick it’s evitable. Live your life, don’t live in fear. Just be as safe as you can be. As for your husband, that was a cr*ppy thing to say and imply. Miscarriage could happen at any point in any pregnancy to any good mother so it’s just an absurd thing to say.  if it makes you feel any better you can have a drive-by baby shower or a virtual baby shower even though I’m sure your loved ones would love to see you.

I had covid while pregnant and nobody died. But if you’re that worried do a zoom shower or drive by shower.

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I legit get his concern BUT the way hes saying it and going about it is all wrong! He sounds horrible. If your vaxed and boosted the chances of you losing baby so late term from covid are so low.
That being said you could also do some sort or virtual party or distanced party. You also still have a while to think abiut it. Maybe only invite those who you know are safe, who are vaxed, and you could even ask people to test before coming. Also hosting outside would be best. Thats what we did.
Im 32 weeks and just had a baby shower this past sat. To my horror sat half way through the shower my allergies, or so i thought, started acting up. Sunday i tested positive for covid. I dont think i caught it from anyone there so quick and therefore i probably risked everyone who came. So far no one else has tested positive except my household. So its a very real concern. But im not scared of losing my baby. Im vaxed and boosted.

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:Leave him! and leave now, it’s only gonna get worse. You are not a “bad mom” for wanting something as simple as a baby shower.

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Do what makes you happy!! Even if that means having a simple party and you have put thought into it with the food!! Its not solely about the gifts but the celebration and the love

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So is he going to make you stay at home with the baby 24/7 so the baby or you don’t get sick? What if he brings covid home to you? Or any other simple thing that’s spread like wildfire aka the common cold? If you have to come to Facebook for advice then you already know the answer.

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I would be more concerned about him than I would Covid!! :running_woman::running_woman::dash: Anyway… have a drive by baby shower. You sit in the front yard in a glammed out comfortable chair. Let him run to each vehicle to get the gifts since he likes to be a butt. Make sure it’s a LONG line!!! (Even if they have to go around the block again… just to be sure :sweat_smile:)

l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18410 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome906.pages.dev/

Friends and family can send gift cards… If they choose…

Girl screw him and have your baby shower.

Drive by baby shower!

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Are you sure it’s your first cause hun, that’s a man child.

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Have the shower!!! You deserve it!!

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