My partner called me a bad mom for wanting to have a baby shower

Most adverse outcomes are third trimester unvaccinated. Would I risk it, no. But that’s because I lost my second at 33 weeks because of covid and a placental abruption. I am now vaccinated and boosted. That said, the way he said it, and the way he’s treating you isn’t okay. Do something small, outside, masked if you want to, sanitizer, not buffet style. Make it as safe as you can.

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Well he’s a bad husband for being a prick and not supporting you

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Do you not go anywhere, ever? Cause you can get sick anywhere. Maybe compromise and wear a mask and it will make him feel better

Ok so, you’re throwing your self a shower? Since when did women start giving their own showers? When I had my first one it was a surprise shower and I was 8 months along. Didn’t have one for my second since she was born a year almost to the day later. My third one was 8 years later and they had it a week after she was born. We didn’t know the sex of our babies back then and since she was my last, I wanted to wait till she was born. Maybe someone could have a no contact shower for you and you could register at a store.

He’s trying to control you now when you and baby deserve a shower, just wait a few more months and it will be worse. Get out while you can. Good luck

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Have your party and enjoy it while you can cause If he’s already acting this controlling and the baby not even born, imagine how stupid he’s gonna act once it is :woman_facepalming: does he not go to work everyday and come home to you, possibly exposing y’all every single day?

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How about a shower over the internet. Like video chat . I am sure you know how to do this better than I would. This way you and your baby are safe.

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why not wait until baby is born and have a welcome party?

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Make an Amazon baby registry and do an online shower… everyone orders from it and it ships to you… then do a live video so everyone can join and watch you open gifts.

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I had mine last August with 30 people in a park ! Also got covid 34 weeks prego and was fine ! I’ve had covid 3 times now

Let someone else throw the baby shower and you go there
Like a surprise party
Usually a best friend or family member does this

You are entitled to have a baby shower

I know someone who did a drive by shower, or you can do it outside and wear masks. You can still have a baby shower and be a great mom. I didn’t get to have a shower with my first while I was pregnant because I lived out of state and I still regret it. Have the party. I isolated for two years and barely did anything and my whole house still got Covid. Also my best friend got Covid a few months ago and is pregnant and she was fine. Covid has weakened significantly the last year. You only get to have a baby shower for your first once. :heart:

Can you do a drive by shower as a compromise…? You can hand out items you pre packaged. That’s what I did but we didn’t have food only desserts. I went to another drive by shower where they had tri tip sandwiches wrapped in foil, small bags of chips, pre portioned salsa, soda and water. It was nice. But doing all that does cost a lot of money and you could just spend that same amount toward the baby…… there’s different options and maybe you guys can come to a compromise. I personally didn’t mind the drive by baby shower.

Dude fuck him, if you want a baby shower and it’s doable (like you can afford it and people are willing to help) then you absolutely deserve a shower if you want it! I had COVID in my first trimester, it did suck but with the doctors watching I was perfectly fine. Obviously everyone reacts to COVID differently but I feel like since it’s been out so long and mutated it doesn’t seem as deadly anymore. The worst part was the body aches and fatigue, I didn’t even have that much of a cough

I would have a virtual/ drive by shower… you can set up a decorative table in driveway, folks can drive by drop off a gift and maybe grab a bag of sweets as a thank you. You can also register on Amazon and folks can send gift directly to you.

A shower is about celebrating the baby and showering them with gifts. Yes we are still dealing with covid, but that shouldn’t stop the shower. It can be done outdoors and mama can wear a mask to make hubby feel better.

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Do a zoom baby shower. Get a gift registry and send it out. He’s a shitty person. We’ll show him the hat everything will cost and tell him to get the bill for it all compared to what you can get from the baby shower

This is for you and your son. Not him. Tell him to suck it…

He sounds like a douchecanoe

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Tell him he’s being ridiculous it’s not common for women to lose a baby due to covid smh :woman_facepalming: he sounds like he’s just making excuses because he’s scared of covid :roll_eyes:

Wear a mask and have everyone else as well if he is that concerned about it. Otherwise do a virtual shower online and have the gifts sent to you.

Have a drive by shower! We went to some of those during high covid outbreaks!
Mom sits outside people drive by wave someone else grabs the gifts from the car and off they go.
They also handed out goody bags to the cars

During the pandemic I had a couple of Great grand nieces and a few friends who had drive by showers outside. They all worked well and those who wanted to get out of their cars could and they social distanced the chairs. They all had wonderful turnouts and support from family and friends.

…. Does he work? Does he leave the house? If he works and/or leaves the house for ANY reason - he is increasing the chance of contracting COVID and bringing it home to you and your unborn baby. He needs to practice what he preaches.

You shouldn’t have to cancel your baby shower to prove a point to him. Just request that guests do not come if they are sick, have been sick, or exposed to any illness

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I had covid during this pregnancy and all is fine. Honestly a decently distanced and taking all the precautions, a baby shower would be fine!!

Oh my gosh, this covid bs has everyone irrational af.

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Alarm bells much?! Sounds like he’s jealous of the baby already?!?!

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Sounds like he’s jealous that it’s a celebration for you and the baby and not about him honestly

I just had my shower for my second child and we did it at a public park with tons of kids running around and playing in the water

Don’t let him take this from you just because he wants to be a selfish crybaby

Besides: if you got covid while pregnant the baby would be fine, YOU would just be miserable

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I had Covid 3 times during my pregnancy it didn’t negatively affect my pregnancy in any way.

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I had covid while pregnant and we both had it when he was 2months old. Everyone is still here and good. You are probably more likely to get it from.him or the grocery store.

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There’s a lot going on here, and honestly this type of post deserves a break down of the different issues.

  1. His actions and opinions: a few years ago I read a story about “dry drowning” that summer I was an anxious mess having the kiddos anywhere near water, despite every precaution being taken. Now, dry drowning is a real thing, but it’s the severe/dangerous cases pretty rare. Even knowing that, my anxiety would NOT let it go.
    The same thing has happened to millions of people and their concerns and fears about covid.
    It’s likely, that while initially discussing the shower he hadn’t thought to much about covid but when it was brought up…all that anxiety came to the forefront.
    Remember, even though you’re carrying baby, that’s his baby too and his fears are still valid.
    The best way to combat this anxiety, is to have him tag along to a doctor’s appointment and discuss it with the doctor to help alleviate any fear.
  2. While yes baby and mom deserve to be celebrated that’s absolutely true, it’s not a necessity or mandatory to have a baby shower per se for that to happen. Many women for one reason or another have had to forego showers and while it may have been disappointing it all worked out ok.
    So remember…A celebration doesn’t have to involve grand theatrics and fancy gifts.
  3. Whether you have one or not you have shower, it’s never wise to depend on a shower to get things you need for baby. Because showers happen so late in pregnancy, when you don’t receive all of the things you need, you’re left scrambling trying to get them. With the economy the way it is now, it may just not be possible for people to contribute big ticket items.
  4. You’re not a bad mom for wanting to celebrate and feel spoiled and truthfully, he probably doesn’t truly believe that as much as much as he let his nerves and fears speak for him. I wouldn’t take that but to heart, but remember it’s your job as parents to do what’s best for your baby. You both need to start basing decisions going forward with that question in mind.
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Do the shower and tell him to quit whining

I had covid pregnant with my first. If you fought it off once it should be the least of your concerns. Sounds like he’s using covid as an excuse because miscarriages can happen at any time for any reason.

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I know 2 people that almost died of Covid while pregnant. They had their children delivered when they were in a coma and didn’t meet them for months. All babies and moms are recovered now. Neither moms were vaccinated. I know women that were vaccinated during pregnancy and then and their babies were fine, with it without catching Covid, most didn’t catch it. Now onto a solution, you could do a drive by shower, or if people really care they could just mail gifts. I didn’t go to any drive by showers but I did nails gifts. I’m not a social person (in person) anymore due to medical issues so the fact that it’s ok to just forego a party and send a gift now it’s is my preferred method of giving

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You can do a virtual shower as an alternative, safe and spoiled:)

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Take the CC and buy everything you need and ask your Mama to have a small dinner party and celebrate you. Make sure he gets the bills. Good Luck. PS take this as a warning

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He’s jealous I had COVID in 2019 before media released it was in the us November sick till a week before Christmas.

Found out last year my son has viral syndrome it messes with his immune system. Found out January this year he’s epilepsy & cerebral palsy he slept same room own bed
Relies on me for everything even walking assistance.
He didn’t catch it have them ware mask if they can a stay 3ft apart instead of 6.
Cut it down to certain amount as well.

First of all its not a proper thing to give yourself a shower. A relative or close friend should do it for you. Most people don’t have a baby shower till they’re like 7-8 Mos. No offense but it sounds like you wanting to do it for yourself is asking ppl to come and bring you stuff which is fine if someone was giving you the shower. If someone gives you one that’s different and not much he can say.

Damn I had a baby shower back in March and I was 7 months pregnant

Compromise. Do a scheduled virtual baby shower. Have guests mail you presents and open them during the virtual shower.

Can you hold a shower out of doors?

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Do an outside shower or a drive by shower a lot of people did it hen Covid first started

Also, if he’s calling you a shitty mom now over wanting a baby shower, it’s not going to get any better when the baby comes I fear.

Usually someone else gives you the shower you don’t give your own and I’ve seen a lot of people during this covid where they have the shower online everyone sends a gift and you open it online where they can be present online to watch you that way it’s safe for everybody

Okay firstly, you can isolate away from people and be as cautious as possible and still get covid. This was literally me last year. I ended up catching covid from my mom who also didn’t socialize (she caught it from her neighbor who was being treated for dialysis at the hospital). I caught covid at 30 weeks pregnant, it hit me hard but didn’t affect my lungs at all I was just extremely exhausted (I probably slept for 2.5 weeks straight and couldn’t stay awake if I tried) and it took a while to regain my energy back. My son was never in any jeopardy at all. Your husband’s statement is really harsh. I understand he is worried and probably extra paranoid expecting a baby during all of this but to put blame on you and saying he could never forgive you if something happened is down right cruel.

Well…your Dad is right but he doesn’t have to be so mean about it. Carry your baby safely…have a “welcome baby” shower after his birth.

I know it’s not the same but what about a drive by shower? I had a lot of friends pregnant in the last 2 years and they really enjoyed it. They said they didn’t have to worry about feeding anyone and not as stressful. They did allow people to pose for pictures, but if y’all are concerned about Covid, pictures can be skipped.

Have a virtual shower

Do a drive thru baby shower? Gift bags or little treats for them in their window at the end?

Truthfully it seems he is using covid as an excuse to make you feel bad because he doesn’t want you to enjoy yourself and have a baby shower that’s about you. If he expects you to go grocery shopping and go to work and he hangs out with his friends or goes out to a bar or anything along the lines of being around other people, why would he say you’re a bad mom for having people that you’re close to come gather and celebrate your baby? Sounds narcissistic. Like you can’t have anything be about you without him making it a problem or wanting it to be about him. Covid isn’t much of a worry anymore but most people know not to go places when they don’t feel well.

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I had my baby shower 4 months after mine was born. So he had a bit of immune system built up

Clearly there is another reason he doesn’t want a shower. It’s not that serious. He probably doesn’t want the pictures posted or someone to know you’re pregnant

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There’s not an extra risk if you’re pregnant. I got it during pregnancy and I was fine. We’re two years into this pandemic. I used to be so careful and scared when I had my first son. I lost out on a baby shower and so many other things. I have a second son now and this time I’m living my life. Please mama live your life :heart:

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Do an Amazon wish list they can send it out to you

Do what makes you happy, he can just not go lol

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I would be thinking a lot more about how your husband treats you vs the baby shower. If he treats you like this now. What about in a year. Two years what about when you want to put the child first and he doesn’t like being on the back burner… I’d be much more concerned with the future I’m entering into with this man and my unborn child than any gifts (but yes the shower would be helpful for gifts and you DO deserve to feel special). I’m just saying I’m my opinion this post actually goes a lot deeper and I think you need to consider that

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My family got covid and it was very bad. But the way things are now you really can’t avoid covid. And with the current strain and the vaccine I don’t think it’s as bad as it once was. But the way he is acting is a huge red flag for me. Sounds like he will blame your for everything that happens with your child in the future. If they get hurt or sick or if you get sick and get them sick. And saying your a bad mom cause you want a baby shower. Something is going on there.

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Your immune system is down due to being pregnant so I get yours and his hesitation, however if it’s just family & outside you should be fine!

I say have the shower, forget his opinion at the end of the day you are about to welcome a child into this crazy world. It is sometime to celebrate!

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Yeah I would respect ur hubby’s wishes in fact it’s his baby too …so make a list of stuff u need for the baby and if u both work…tuck some money away so ur able to spoil ur child n buy things and after ur child’s born …CELEBRATE :partying_face:

Do a drive by shower. That’s how alot of people did them when covid was real bad. Or you can do the registry or Amazon wish list and everyone can order you something from there. Just because you want a shower doesn’t make you a bad mom. Tell him to throw a diaper party so he may feel included also where it’s just him and his buddies.

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I caught Covid while pregnant from the hospital . I was positive and my baby was positive at 6 days old along with my 2yr old , 9yr old and my partner . I would have your baby shower Covid has ruined so much for people and people have missed out on so much . If you are worried just take precautions at the party masks hand sanitiser

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Fuck him! Have a baby shower

I’d have my baby shower and add in a leaving a shitty partner celebration onto that

Have a sprinkle where family and close friends can come by during a certain time to celebrate the upcoming birth of your child. You can have refreshments and require everyone where a mask.
When they come, you open their gift, offer them something to eat and drink. Visit s few minutes and they should leave. Minimum seating should be provided so people will not hang around.
If you have a patio, you can do it there. Congratulations on your beautiful blessing!

Do an online shower. That’s what we did for my sister

He sounds controlling…. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Just FYI, even if you did catch covid while pregnant. There is no reason to believe you would lose the baby.

Also, your baby daddy sounds like an ass.

Do the drive in baby shower.

Make a take out food for your guests.
Video taping the whole event. Will still be a beautiful moment and safe for you and your unborn child.

Make it simple and fun for all especially you and baby.

Sou ds like a controlling asshole to me

I personally never had 1 with any of my 5 i feel weird having a party just to get gifts but thats me

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Sounds like he is starting with the controlling negative asshole syndrome. He may be concerned but tell him there has to be a way, even if he needs to buy a air purifier. If you lose the baby cuz u get COVID he will never forgive you. That shouldn’t even be what is on his mind. Making you happy and making this pregnancy as easy as possible for you should be higher on his list of priorities. I am sorry but he is trying to separate you from your family and friends using COVID as a reason.

Talk to your family and friends ask them to throw it for you
That way it’s not you doing it
And you just need to show up

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There is no more of a risk than you going out grocery shopping. I’m pregnant now. I go out and I enjoy myself. I take my girl to soccer practice and no one wears masks and we are all close. We have hosted parties as a family and have fun. Your husband I feel is overly paranoid or trying to be controlling. Have that shower. Let him pout. He starts fights, just walk away and let him yell. Don’t even entertain the idea of talking back or arguing back if he’s gonna act that way.

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You are not wrong for wanting one and why be scared? It’s inevitable. Just have people take precautions like wearing masks and hand sanitizer then maybe someone to serve the guests so everyone’s not touching things other ppl come in contact with idk we’ve lived like normal never have been over the top and we’ve been fine yes we have gotten it but it was before it was huge :upside_down_face: but him saying you’re a bad mom is being over dramatic.

First, he’s already calling you a shitty mom and disregarding your feeling completely.? Ontop of offering no alternatives, or solutions … just no? :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post:

Second, Wanting to celebrate YOUR moment is not selfish. You want to celebrate being a first time mother and I think that’s great! So, is there any room to compromise? How about you wear masks, you buy gloves for everyone, disinfectant wipes, ect … ect. In the backyard would be great because people can have space. I really hope you figure it out. Being a mother is a blessing like none other, but you are still you. :heart: all my best.

Your having a child a with a control freak thats probably going to guilt trip you continually using your child or “because your a mum”, I’d be more concerned about him than covid. You can get everyone to test before they show up.

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We had a drive by shower during Covid for our youth minister…set time and people came by and stayed in their car but dropped a gift and got a party favor and treat…

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He sounds like a complete absolute douche bag!

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You could do an online baby shower. Another thing you could do, if you know enough people that would participate is make a 50/50 board where people guess the minute of birth. The list is 00 to 60 minutes. $20 per spot, winner splits the pot with momma to be and also gets bragging rights.

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My daughter had Covid and she is pregnant… She didn’t lose her baby…

You could still have your friends and family drop gifts off … I’m sure they will understand your partner’s fears about Covid

You can have a shower while also minimizing the risk. There are options like drive by, outdoors or online. You could also have a small intimate shower with just family. On the flip side, covid is here to stay. There will be a risk no matter what you do or where you go. If it’s that much of a concern, have everyone test beforehand.

or have a welcome shower when the baby arrives

Sad that he wouldn’t want you to get spoiled you are just creating his child. Sounds super controlling. You should DEFINITELY have a shower!! It’s a right of passage for a momma! :pray:t4::heart: and if he should understand it’s for HIS kid! It’s very helpful! For all my kids (3) I didn’t buy diapers or wipes for the first year because of getting them from my shower. It’s very helpful. I am sorry. He sounds manipulative and controlling. Also, narcissistic :disappointed:

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And Covid hasn’t been proven to make you lose your baby at all. He’s out of his mind

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He sounds jealous really. Attention isn’t on him and he wants to ruin it for you. Him saying no one would attend or buy anything definitely makes him sound jealous. You could have a shower at a nice outdoor area and ask that everyone has masks .

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He sounds like an idiot

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What a crock. He’s controlling. What’s it going to be like after the baby. Does he work? Shop for groceries? He could run into someone with Covid. Then bring it home to you. Will he blame his self for giving it to you and the baby? Have a shower.

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He sounds like an idiot, but have a drive by shower instead?

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You could catch covid from your husband. Time to stop hanging out with him.

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Your spouse sounds like a asshole and wants to control your life wait until that baby arrives and he tells you you can’t do xyz!! I’ve never understood the men tell a woman they can’t do something. Because excuse me I’m my own person and can and will do as I please. You are the one carrying that child. I don’t hear him saying anything about getting the flu ,chicken pox ,shingles ,bird flu, staff infection… this world has germs everywhere we go. If you are wrapped up in a bubble your whole pregnancy your baby will have no immunity to anything. So his closed mindset means nothing other than to be in charge.
Tell his ass to set down somewhere and go have your shower enjoy your pregnancy and be showered with love for the day… it’s important!!
He can stay home and clean and do dishes or something!

Why would you lose a pregnancy because of Covid? Even if you did get it. You could do something outside in the open air so there’s much less chance of anyone spreading illness.

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Just have one and don’t invite him

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Girl you have you a baby shower and enjoy every moment of it. You don’t get a first again after that it’s about the last. The last time they kiss you the last time they hug you. The last time they stop cooing the last time they stop crawling.

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I’ll just say he’s a prick.

Online video shower? And then people can either mail you stuff or dropp it off at your house

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Have a reveal party …set you and your husband away from your guest …open up presents six feet from everyone. Let your guest know upfront that because of COVID you would appreciate every one wearing a mask if they attend. Keep your guest list under 20 people. This is your husband’s first child too I take it. Don’t push him away, include him in the party make it about both of you…don’t be selfish and think only of you.