So my husband is a photographer and he was asked to do a bikini shoot for a business by a person he knew through other photography business.Don’t get me wrong I already did not like the fact he was going to be taking photos and being around women who had everything out but I’m not going to be that controlling wife and tell him no he can’t do it. Anyway he come home from the shoot and has been bragging about it to others and posting the photos on his personal social media page and stories not his business page which I find very strange but he says he always posts his photography photos on his personal page too which is somewhat true the odd motorbike picture or 2 he does posts. The comments from his friends and family on the bikini shoot are things like tough gig or I bet you enjoyed that shoot. Posting 2 girls with gstring bikinis on his story. I’ve just not long ago had my second baby and do not get me wrong I am so grateful my body has created these 2 beautiful little humans but My body is far from being close to looking like these girls in Bikinis he is posting about and bragging to others about. It just gets to me that when you already feel down about your own appearance he is off bragging about what he has been around all day on his social media and to others.He never gives me compliments to reassure me or anything.He knew the last few days something was wrong and asked me to explain and at first I didn’t want to because I knew he wouldn’t understand how I feel and I was 100% right. All it did was turn into an argument and him being defensive about it all.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My photographer husband has been bragging about his bikini photoshoot: Advice?
Very poor taste and disrespectful of him honestly. Not the fact that he got the gig… but the way he’s behaving after, especially when you just had a second baby. He needs to do better.
Another day I am not disappointed or surprised a man did this
Its ok to realize your insecurities have you in a whirlwind. It’s ok to tell him you are feeling insecure about your body . But you are also making your insecurities a reason to be mad at him and start an issue. I think you are over reacting .
It’s his job none of those women even remember him. He’s proud of the work he is doing let him have the moment. He went home to you not them he cared enough to notice something was off and affress it.
Doing the shoot is one thing
Posting to his business page would be fine
But posting it to personal social media and bragging about it publicly when he has a woman at home who just had a baby?
That’s just childish and distasteful
As a photographer myself its coming across that it’s a shoot he’s extremely proud of, Speak to him and tell him about how it’s made you feel, I’m sure he hasn’t meant to make you feel bad
He’s being very unprofessional posting them on his personal page. He obviously enjoyed himself. He’s showing you very little respect, but you need to make it very clear to him If this is how he acts after a half naked shoot then that’s his last one. Respect or it doesn’t happen.
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Communication is key. If he can’t respect how you feel you need to bring that up to him as well. You should care about each other’s feelings, even if you disagree with the others. Hopefully he can realize how it’s affecting you and stop bragging about it but if he doesn’t, maybe put your foot down next time? I would also tell him how you feel about your body right now and you not ever being complemented adds to the insecurities
A little bit of eye candy never hurt anyone. Don’t tell me you’ve never looked at a picture of a gorgeous man and, at the very least, smiled. We can all appreciate a pretty picture. Your husband is in the unique position of creating some of those pretty pictures for the rest of the world to enjoy.
But pretty pictures aren’t real life. Real life is a lifetime partner who sees you at your worst, and still loves you, anyway. Real life is sharing goals and dreams together, raising a family together, and managing to maneuver through life successfully … together.
Flip the script … if you were in his position and had the opportunity to photograph a bunch of hot males in swim suit attire, don’t you think you’d be excited about it? It doesn’t have any bearing on your relationship … it’s simply a job.
I understand the insecure feelings you are going through, but your husband probably sees you as just being jealous … and it frustrates him. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t get so frustrated.
Allow him to enjoy being a man, because you know he’s coming home to you each day, & choosing to share his real life world with you.
What an ass-clown. Tell him he’s being juvenile and needs to knock it off. What is he 15? Lol
Sounds like he might’ve saw something new…
i say you have someone do a boudoir photo shoot of you !
Are those gals okay with him with posting to his personal page ? they may not like it as much as you . Considering it was for a business not for a man’s personal page .
Sounds like maybe you have some jealousy issues. Maybe you need to have a serious talk with yourself about your body image and self worth.
My niece is a photographer and she posts on both personal and her business pages. She’s proud of her work.
And you know that nobody’s body is perfect, right? Don’t hold yourself up to anyone else because you are beautiful in your own right. We’d all look fabulous if we had professional photographers taking our pictures lol
Honestly I get the part of it is his job. But my heart breaks for women when their partners don’t uplift them. I’ve been with my hubby 29 years. Every day he lets me know how beautiful I am to him, he takes tons of sneak photos of me. Almost 30 years but still tries his best to make me feel like the only woman in the world. You deserve the same. Everyone deserves that.
Either you trust him or you don’t. Self esteem comes from self. He cant make you feel good bad or otherwise about yourself. That you allow
You tried to tell him how you feel, and even help him to understand, and then it turned in to an argument? Sounds like he’s a narcissist and I’m willing to bet he was gas lighting you, during that conversation. Sad.
I would be upset too because of him posting to his personal social media and bragging. I dont understand these people that say “he comes home to you dont worry about it” I still dont want my man out there doing whatever he wants (cheating kind) during the day and coming home to me at night.
Maybe have him take some boudoir photos of you in your intimate space, I think that would be special because he took them and you’d probably feel really good about yourself? I have a friend who’s husband does her boudoir photos during pregnancy and they are so intimate and so incredibly beautiful. Try that? Maybe it would boost your confidence
I would sure watch him…doesn’t look good
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Let him have his show off my fun job moment. I wouldn’t take it personal. But if it others you that much, then tell him. You’re uncomfortable with your body currently and itakes you upset to see him bragging over shooting these women.
There’s nothing worrisome here. You have an issue that even I don’t understand. He’s proud of his work. You’re insecure. He can’t help that. Even with reassurance, you’re going to be.
Sounds like a fun experience for him… not everything with women is sex
Perfectly normal and acceptable to feel undervalued or disrespected. It’s not wrong to feel those things, and insecurities are normal to have as well, especially for women and especially after having a baby when the pressure is on to look flawless. Explain to your husband, maybe he’s unaware of the depth of your feelings. You’re not over reacting, you’re reacting, freely and there’s nothing wrong with needing a little validation or some extra attention from your partner.
I would ask him to do a photo shoot of you so he can be just as proud and show those pics off too. Confident boost for you and he gets practice. And maybe a little insite into your feelings… hang in there momma.
I guess it would be no different than us women who post celebrity men that look really good on our pages. Most of our husband’s don’t look like them and yet we oogle over them. I did see someone mention a boudoir photoshoot. Maybe do that for him or yourself even.
That’s his career, he should be able to have pride in his work. He strives to be a good artist and wants to show that off
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Was he a photographer before he met you? You sound toxic to be honest, be happy your man loves what he does. If your so jealous go put a damn bikini on and ask him to take your pictures. Your whole “everything out” statement makes no sense cause they’re in bikinis. Your too insecure to be with a photographer. He needs to run.
I think it’s weird and unprofessional. I wouldn’t be in a room alone with a guy that does that.
I think it’s weird and very disrespectful.
People saying you’re insecure or self conscious like they’re badmouthing you… what??? You’re allowed to be upset over things like this. Your feelings are 100% valid. And you let him do the shoot, which is more than I’d ever let my partner do! Every relationship is different and there is no right or wrong way to do things. My partner and I set boundaries with one another when we first began dating. Some people don’t care about that stuff and some do.
If it upsets or hurts you, it’s wrong, especially if he’s done something intentionally and just doesn’t care, or gets defensive like the way you’re describing things. He should be supportive and caring and apologetic since his actions have hurt you, and he should have worked with you to find a solution that would make you both happy. Relatiobships are give and take, so look at the way you treat him versus the way he’s treating you.
We live in a world where things like this are expected of men. “Oh, let them mess around, let them look, let them fantasise, because at the end of the day they come home to you.” I’m really sick of hearing this. It’s like they’re given these passes just because of their gender, as though they can’t control themselves. Just my opinion.
I hope things work out for you. Don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings!
My husband did some special efx with Dallas cheerleaders OMG talk about brag fest !! I to felt some jealousy but in the end he came home to me, so I didn’t give him a hard time. If I had a chance to work with Brad Pitt I would brag my ass off
He is not responsible for the way you look , taking pictures is his job and I guess when you have a work long his you have to accept “ almost everything “ because is not a secure one you can have to much gigs one month and none the next .
Have you see how women dress , a big majority dress extremely sexy showing almost everything, so he is exposed to see sexy and beautiful women every day.
Also , is absolutely understandable that he post his work in all of his social media that is advertising his job and showing the difference thing he can do ,and have the opportunity to get more jobs .
You need to start working at yourself with your appearance so you can rebuild your self esteem back and stop expecting your husband to acknowledge you or to compliment you, most are like that .
You should be re posting the pictures not complaining about it
He asked for your feelings… you owe it to your marriage to tell him them…
Your insecurities are getting to you, which is fair. What isn’t fair though is you putting that on him. I have lots of photographer friends and family even. I myself like to take pretty candid photos for fun. This is extremely common in the photography world. Sex sells, and pretty girls in bikinis is something to talk about when talking photography since those types of photos make a lot of conversation, and that conversation turns into money.
It’s ok to feel insecure. It is not ok to make your insecurities your husband’s responsibility. You owe him an apology.
He didn’t have sex with them he took their pictures. There’s nothing wrong with anyone admiring the beauty of others. I’m sure you look at cute guys or shirtless men.
The more you push him about it, the more he’s gonna wanna do it to prove you right.
Where can I find these bikini pics? Asking for a friend…
Do a boudoir shoot and post em
I think you’re just feeling insecure. And if this is your husband job, I’m pretty sure you couldn’t tell him not to do it. What his family and friends say he had no control. Let him brag little bit and be proud of his work.
I’ve done small time modeling work, if my photographer was doing that I’d feel very uncomfortable, it’s one thing to promote your business on your personal page it’s another to do what he is doing. I’ve only worked with 1 male and it was only because he was vouched for and known for being incredibly respectful. He is hurting his own business doing that. As for you of course you feel that way he is being disrespectful and gross. You have hormones still messing with you, don’t compare yourself to others ever but especially now. Do something special for you to boost your confidence and treat yourself.
It’s his job love got nothing to do with how you are .you’ve just had another baby don’t let this spoil it for you be proud of who you are .he doesn’t no how to react after you have said this to him .he feels like you don’t trust him do you that’s the thing .is it the 1 st time he has done a bikini shoot maybe he just feels chuffed to be asked .don’t let this ruin things between the two of you .let it go and see what happens whether he starts acting different towards you
I agree to a certain extent with the consent forms and that’s IF he had allll of them sign a document saying I your photographer can use all of these pics of anyone of you on any site or page id like to. I wouldnt have signed that.
Even so… I’d bet they ALL didn’t agree or even assume they would be posted to his own personal page. I’d feel uncomfortable if it was a pic of me … his professional page … sure.
He’d better make his personal page post of them public for them to see. He’s also bragging… come …on.
Some of these people commenting are the type that need the attention of men validating their looks in a G string. Their feelings about it being okay certainly don’t make her feeling on it not okay. She’s allowed to feel the way she feels, it’s her husband and she has feeling and morals and values. Seems like some of these people could take a lesson on respect
Some of these comments putting her down for feelings Insecure acting like they have never had a Insecure moment in their whole life… might not be a body image insecurity they have but I bet … their face features or the way their voice sounds… or the way the walk or even their personality, aging, ect… something has or still does make them Insecure about themselves.
To put another woman down for her valid feelings shows soooo much about the type of people they are.
I don’t care how I feel about any given subject like this . You tell me you’re upset or feeling not good enough to a man especially your husband and I’m going to build you up so high you will need to learn to humble yourself again but … that’s just me. Dimming another person’s light isn’t somthing I do. I’ll use my flame to help keep theirs lit .
Before people start “ya but” or any argument against it is, is wasting their time . I will not tell you you’re wrong because your own feelings on it are just that YOURS …
I will not entertain it with a response.
Let’s just agree to disagree
Why didn’t you go on the shoot with him?
I feel like that’s disrespectful towards you. For one if he doesn’t build you up or compliment you that’s hurtful in itself but if he’s bragging all over social media about these girls I find that very rude towards you and your feelings. If I was in your shoes I would draw the line and say good for you for doing your job, but it’s done with now so stop posting and bragging about it it’s uncomfortable. I’m sure he wouldn’t like if you had fit shirtless men posted all over your social media bragging about them.
My husband is ALL about me and he would be excited too. Don’t take it personally
Professional photographers typically don’t brag about photo shoots, especially the type of shoot that you described.
THIS is the source of your problem
You have insecurities and self confidence issues and having a baby has exacerbated them
That’s disrespectful to you and very unprofessional
That’s a long way to write that you dont trust him and are insecure
I think he’s being a bit unprofessional honestly. It’s fine to promote on your personal page but the way he’s doing it seems a bit much to me. I also think you’re projecting your own insecurities about your body onto his job though. Your feelings are valid and I’m sorry he doesn’t take you seriously.
That is very disrespectful and after being with someone you eventually get to know their true colors on many things. I’m going through a similar situation just having a baby and the dad is a jerk in so so many ways I’m just trying to say if he loved and respected you it wouldn’t have even happened hell he may not have even done the damn shoot. We got to teach these guy’s how to treat us he should be worshiping you you’re a queen girl
Honestly, I might just leave him. You just birthed HIS kid and that obviously takes a huge toll on your body. I’m not saying it makes it unappealing or unattractive, it just changes it. And it’s completely okay to not feel happy about it or to be self conscious, it’s not being insecure. It’s one thing to do the shoot and post it to his business page. But posting it to his personal page is taking it way too far. For one those women signed consents to having their photos taken and used for business purposes (like his business page), they did NOT consent to them being used on his personal page. If I were one of these women I’d be furious and very uncomfortable. That also combined with the fact he never compliments you is disgusting. As your partner, he should be complementing you more than he does anybody else and vice versa. The fact he noticed something was off IS good, BUT he lost those points when he attacked you and got hyper defensive when you spoke about it. Your feelings are completely valid and he should have listened to them. He could’ve even been like “I understand where you’re coming from, I’ll stop posting these on my personal page and only post them on my business page and refrain from speaking about them to you and around you”. It’s not that hard. Instead he was a jerk and I guarantee he gaslit you. Babe you deserve much better
Men just fucking suck
Sounds like you have some jealousy issues you need to work through, try sitting down with him and telling him what’s going on without sounding like you’re attacking him. Work on yourself and try to understand it’s work related, unless he’s up to no good then you two should be able to work it out.
Photog here…… It’s rare ill share a business shoot on my personal page unless it’s a friend that was ok with me sharing on both, let alone brag about it. His behavior is a tad unprofessional but at the same time you do have to understand that those types of shoots come with the territory, I can understand your frustration over his bragging but to be upset the shoot happened in general is a tad out of place.
If a man’s actions hurts his wife, and she let’s him know, his response should be an apology and to protect her feelings and heart in the future. Truthfully, whether you are or not insecure about your appearance should make no difference. You are entitled to your feelings and your husband should care more about your feelings than shooting and bragging about two women in a g string bikini! The vow he took was to honor and protect you! His insensitivity to your needs speaks volumes and is not the first instance of his lack of sensitivity or concern I would bet. Establish boundaries with his photography and in your marriage as to what you will and will not tolerate. Do not allow him or anyone to belittle you or your feels. Own them and demand to be heard and valued!.
I feel he was crossing many boundaries in the health of your relationship by his behavior, seems he could do a lot better as a husband by respecting you and discussing his choice to post bikini modeling photos on his personal social media page. Ideally you should be the first person he consulted with regarding if that was appropriate and ok with you as his partner beforehand. I believe you are feeling uncomfortable because he has broken through important boundaries in your relationship. I’m sorry you are having to go through this.
Ffs grow up. He isn’t bragging about the women in bikinis. He’s bragging about a job well done
Get over yourself. He did his job. This is just as bad a ob/gyn’s spouse being upset they’re looking at other women’s vaginas. Or urologists spouses being upset they see penis damn near all day, everyday.
Good god. How old are you ?
It sounds like you’re just very insecure. There are times in life that we need to just suck things up and move on and not tell others about. This is something small and you should’ve kept it to yourself for the simple fact that he has done nothing wrong. Maybe he’s proud of his shoot and the fact he had the opportunity to do the shoot. There’s nothing wrong with beautiful women and there’s nothing wrong with women with great bodies. Your husband is going to look whether he’s shooting their photos or not. I think you need to work on your confidence and insecurities. Beauty and a nice body is something to look at, nothing more, nothing less. He married you, he loves you, you had his children. Move on.
Men are such children in the way they act. It’s like Locker room talk he wants to probably one up his friends by saying look what I did. So immature. I would start making comments about how hot other men are in front of him and see how he likes it also I would start posting hot pics of men on my social media accounts. I’m petty though. Good luck!
Super disrespectful of him.
Post ur bikini pics mama I’ll share on my story. Two can play that game
She birthed “their” child. I assume she wanted the baby and she didn’t have a second child just for him. She “birthed” their child.
Many professionals post on both their business page and their personal page.
She said he is bragging.
He may be excited that this job is an opportunity to expand the business.
She is insecure. Her insecurities are her issue. She sounds jealous.
You should go and show up one day not tell him and have lunch with him. I’m this type person I love my hubby im jealous
He sounds like an ass if he got defensive. And that’s creepy he posted them on his personal page, not very professional and I wonder if they(models) were ok with it. Talk with him again and explain your boundaries. Hopefully he will be able to see things from your perspective
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Aww let him brag a little
If it makes u feel uncomfortable maybe try explaining to him ur insecurities and try to focus on that. Maybe something as simple as u and him complimenting each other and boosting each other up will help. My body is far from perfect.I have 2 babies too. He loves u. Ur his wife. U have him two beautiful children. Talk to him. Reconnect. Get to the deeper of the issue
Omg its not like he made a porn video with them just took a few photos and so what if hes bragging if he looks good in them maybe brag along with him Lol I mean c’mon don’t ruin his buzz its not like he’s guna be a worldwide supermodel
I’s he “bragging”, or is he proud of his work? Did he get to use something he hasn’t before (new camera, new sets, new props including human subjects rather than just cars or bikes).
Are you feeling it as bragging because of your own personal issues, or is it ACTUAL bragging?
You say he’s a photographer? That’s his JOB? If you don’t like the idea that as a photographer he might have to take pictures of attractive people, then you are going to be very sad you’re entire relationship.
He honestly may just be excited that he got to do photos of actual people, rather than still objects for once. He may feel like his photography is becoming more sellable due to this ect.
The comments from OTHERS in his family & friend circle would honestly anger me more than him being exited over a subject he got to photograph.
It sounds like he may be a little insecure about his appearance…you have a good excuse for yours what’s his excuse.???
His behavior is gross and very unprofessional.
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From a photographers point of view. I’d brag about work that I like and post of my personal page.
Listen. I’m a confident woman, married, with four kids. I’d be pissed off too. You’re not wrong.
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He’s a photographer. He did this for a business. You knew he was a photographer so……back off
Unless he is using it to promote his business in a professional way and seeking permission to post the pics in social media.
If not i would let him know that its a tad disrespectful
Comparison is a thief of joy. Photography is an art. Maybe you can suggest doing a sexy photo shoot with him? Even if it’s more modest & you keep it between you & him? You have the right to your feelings but ask yourself why your feeling this way. Is it because you feel insecure and need to work on yourself? You didn’t object to the shoot. I get what you’re saying but also ask yourself, Am I feeling this way because I want more attention from my husband? Should I take more time out for me and him to repair our relationship?Can I support my partner in his career? If not then maybe consider walking away. But first please love yourself and don’t compare yourself to others, it’s a thief of joy. You are a strong woman.You got this.
Was he posting pictures that belonged to his client?? That would be unprofessional. Other than that, he’s acting like a little boy. Maybe he just needs to grow up.
His behaviour is childish.
He is a grown man with kids he needs to behave more appropriate ly and take your feelings into account
ill be the odd one out. im a photographer and I get SO excited when i have a good session. I talk about it and post it and share it everywhere because im proud of my work and I want the exposure. now… being a wife and a mom, I get how it could make you feel for sure… especially with friends making comments. But I dont think sharing and being excited about your work is weird - I shoot boudoir as well so its just something my husband and I have to openly discuss and I dont shoot men alone - actually my last bikini model session (girls in swimsuits) I brought my husband and kids to hang out on the beach with me while I did it… not because I had to, but because im blessed to work at the beach and my kids had a good time.
Is it legal to post others images on his personal page? If not illegal, it’s def unethical.
Sounds like your insecurities are making your relationship difficult for you.
Sounds unprofessional and scummy
Don’t hold him back. That is marketing his skills. He has to be able to do ANY shoot he is ask to do. It’s business
If he did not have permission to post their Photos on his page,He make make some people mad. He probably want be ask again.
So disrespectful on so many levels. You need to post some half naked cowboys on your fb and see how he likes it. What’s good for the goose…
Go do a boudoir shoot with another photographer, and gift him the pictures…
I feel like you should support him being proud of his work and not take it so personally.
So my opinion on this will be unpopular but I don’t care. The bikini photo shoot is a business deal, posting his work on social media is vital to them in order to get their name out there to build their clientele. Some of the pictures and shoots you might not like or feel it’s disrespectful to you, but some of his future clients will want something similar such as boudoir, or modeling pictures done. If he’s bragging about just his work and not commenting about how hot the girls bodies are and how beautiful they are, then I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. I know it’s hard, and you’re especially insecure about your body right now. Look into doing a boudoir photo shoot, they do your hair, makeup and make you feel so comfortable doing the shoot and once you see the pictures it’s a huge confidence boost. I’d post the less racer ones on my social media because I’d be proud about how good I look in them. Of he has a problem with it, then so be it because if he can post pictures of women in bikinis then he shouldn’t have a problem what you post
As someone who used to model I gotta say your husband sounds like a creep and like someone I used to call “creepy uncle joe with a camera”… he should be embarrassed