Looking for advice on are son he is 7 and he is still peeing his pants all day long but will use toilet at school like he is supposed to we have took him to many doctors they have done test after test and everything was fine help he is ruining the furniture we have tried rewards and schedule breaks nothing is working.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My seven year old still has pee accidents at home
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Ruining the furniture? Have him sit on a pad. But if he were my son I would 1. Put him in some kind of Pull-ups or Depends at home. 2. Have a family session(s) with a family counselor. (A close relative who was a state social worker came across youth who had difficulty with bladder control, and further investigation found there was abuse/sexual abuse of some kind. Not necessarily a family member involved, could be a relative, a neighbor, etc.
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Preschool teacher here- I would recommend one on one time with positive attention (even 30 minutes total a day)and as much consistency in schedules as possible. Not sure about screen time at home but that can also be very distracting for children and if they are too distracted may not even notice they have to go until it’s too late. In class we start with toilet time every half hour, we do this for about 2 weeks then move to 45 minutes then an hour and keep it at an hour for a few weeks before trying an hour and a half.
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Sounds like he’s seeking attention at home. If he’s doing fine at school but not at home, maybe start giving some positive one on one attention and see if that helps. Sometimes with siblings in the house, it’s easy to forget that they need that 1 on 1 time. 
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The child might have issues at home or with either or both parents… try counseling… behavioral health.
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Don’t let him sit on the furniture. More specifically don’t let him sit on furniture and stare at whatever he’s engaged in that’s distracting him from figuring out how his bladder works. When he can manage his bladder, he can manage furniture.
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Omg we went through the SAME THING with our 6 year old!! Then we got quarantined for the whole month of December. Ran out of over night pull ups so we told him “ok bud. This is it. You HAVE to quit wetting the bed. We set a timer and every 30 minutes from 5:30 until 7:30 bedtime he had to go pee. No drinks after 6:30. And once he was in bed, he still went pee every 30 minutes. (They lay in bed and watch 1 hr of tv before bed.) it took a few days but was dry 90% of the time after that. Within weeks, he was completely dry. That was December 2020. 10 months later he has only had 3-4 accidents randomly. We did the “peeing regiment” for probably 3 months. It has also helped his day time accidents.
Also, make sure he is pooping every day. By boy had problems with both having accidents. Make sure he poops after supper EVERY NIGHT!!! At minimum.
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My son does this. Honestly I think it’s pure behavioral. He is too busy to get up and go and frankly just doesn’t care if he sits in his own urine. He now has his own laundry basket and does all his own laundry. He will wear everything he owns before he does it but he does it. He does well at school bc of peer pressure but he does not care at home. It’s gotten better since he has been doing his own laundry.
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He needs more positive reinforcement and more attention, a character boost.mines the same and I’ve realized that’s what’s helping him.
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Seems like he’s doing it purposely. If he knows to go pee at school, but pees on himself at home…he probably just like peeing on your furniture
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Alot of the time this has to do with being distracted/busy have u noticed anything like that …laziness…I know some kids straight do not care and will just go
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Something is probably going on with him emotionally that he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about. I secretly sucked my thumb and pissed my bed until I was 8. I, however, had a very rough, traumatic childhood. It was my coping mechanism. Also he may not know how to hold his bladder at night yet? I had to teach myself to be conscious in my sleep and if I dream I had to pee that meant I would pee for real lol idk what will qork but your best bet is to start counseling and get him to open up to someone.
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Take away a favorite toy because you don’t want him to pee on it.
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Take him to a child psychologist if it’s not physical
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Ask him if he needs to use the bathroom every 20 minutes, consistency is everything.
Also, this might help, limit his fluid intake at night, and especially when he is getting ready for bedtime.
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We had to take my grandaughter to a urologist they did tests on her come to find out she wasn’t emptying her bladder so they put her on meds and now she’s good…lots of kids go undiagnosed to underlying problems and the sad part some kids don’t have understanding parents some think they do it on purpose and get punished which don’t help the child…I’ll pray he gets better​:pray:
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My daughter has high functioning autism and ADHD. Her Dr believes she just misses her bodies social cues to let her know she needs to go
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Not had this issue but he is old enough to understand what he is doing. And he knows what goes on at school. Also how about a treat each time he goes to the toilet.I’m not sure what treat. Something healthy. Or small. Or read a book and each time he actually pees in the toilet he gets a bit more of that book read to him. Have you spoken to school and asked what they do?
Schedule a toilet break each hour at home when you’re at home. TV off or he has to stop what he is doing. Give him notice. Eg 5 mins to toilet break, count down in seconds. So he doesn’t get angry or upset. ( Same for when you’re out shopping or at friends etc).
He’s 7. He needs to clean what he pees on. ( At least give it a good attempt).
I agree he can also put his own washing in the washing machine.
He needs to go into the shower/bath each time he does it too. I’m guessing you do that anyway.
Just suggestions. I literally have no idea and Ive no experience but this is what I’d do. It’s really difficult especially if you’ve got other kids or babies etc. It must be quite frustrating. Keep going. It’s going to take time… Hope it works out.
Could he maybe be nervous at home about something? When kids gets nervous they can’t control that. Yelling or loud noises sometimes triggers that. Im just reaching out, it happened with my 2 and it did turn out to be nerves. Im not saying thats the problem just a possibility. Good luck mama 
Okay so i don’t know if you’ll read this but i actually found out the reason why kids struggle sometimes with bladder control is because their bladder and kidney are still not completely developed. It’s not necessarily their fault it’s just unfortunately their body giving them hell for something that’s out of their control.
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it’s odd he doesn’t do it at school.
does he have any learning disabilities?
what is he usually doing when these events happen?
best I can suggest until it’s resolved to get washable bed pads for furniture. they aren’t pretty but will save your furniture. they are a life saver
and get a waterproof bed cover.
My son is 8 and still poos himself daily. I’ve seen a dr and he’s fine apparently. I know how Ur feeling
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Ok he ain’t doin it at school but he is doin it at home sounds like he is afraid of your toilet
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My last two peed the bed for some time my son was 6 and had to wear pull ups at night. I know nighy and day time is different but for them they missed the signal that said hey you need to get up and go. My nephew popped himself for some time and even would do it at school I think he was like 10 or 11. Good luck.
My daughter had accidents up until 11 years old. It’s normal, what helped us was making sure to go potty before sleeping and nothing but water after 7pm.
i feel you my 7 year old daughter refuses to at all. even at school shes refusing to go
Did drs do a hormone test? I learned but cnt remember the name, some kids lack the hormone that helps with the issue.
Maybe there’s more to it than what it seems, any new trauma that he’s not adjusted to? 
If he is using the toilet at school just fine, then the problem is behavioral. I set timers. Lots of positive reinforcement, set time aside for just him with out distractions.
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That would be the day. I would have him sit in a plastic chair at home and have him clean all the mess he does. Including his underwear.
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Looks like youve exhausted your options. At 7 I would definitely be popping the butt once or twice. You’re 7 and can understand that a toilet is where you pee. If he’s doing it deliberately I would use some force on the bottom and say ENOUGH with this!!
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These are all good suggestions but it could be he just sleeps to deep …it happens with some kids and they just cant help it …good luck
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My oldest son has adhd and would have accidents when didn’t want to stop what he was doing, usually watching TV or video games. As soon as I noticed him start moving around more, I’d ask if he had to pee and he always said no but then minutes later was running to the bathroom and would pee before he got to the bathroom. So I started telling him to stop what he was doing and go to the bathroom, if he refused I would shut off the TV or gaming console until he went.
Take all his favorite things away only give him something to drink at dinner half of watever he drinks n straight to the potty! You gota put your foot down
It can take years for boys to get the concept of potty training.
My 8yr old still has nightly accidents. He’s seen a Dr and everything has come back fine. Boys can take time.
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Get him a potty watch
Try a fruit loop in the toilet …
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I did the same as a kid and still do but as a baby I was diagnosed with 3 kidneys because its doubled on one side and I would have to sleep on a towel in bed incase I peed and couldn’t make it to the toilet in time and I still have the same problem.
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Sounds like laziness and a lack of a strong parent figure to set things straight. The 7 year old child has no problem holding it in school and using the toilets there, but yet pees his pants at home all the time? It’s not a medical condition, and he needs to know this behavior cannot fly.
It’s either that or the other option is sexual abuse. But most likely it’s not this option
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I have also read about older children wetting themselves if they are being abused or are scared or worried about something. If this only happens at home there is something going on there. Take him to a child psychologist, not a regular physician.
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When I was 7-8 I would hold it until I had accidents because I didn’t want to stop playing.
For me personally I would also have accidents at night sometimes and it was related to sexual abuse.
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Maybe sit him down and ask him why he is doing it and ask him if there is something going on or upsetting him that’s making him do it. He’s 7 so he could tell you what’s going on.
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They say if a kid is peeing on their selves or the bed it usually is because they are being sexually abused. Idk if that’s a possibility but if not then they should run test on his bladder. But if he’s holding it at school and using the toilet when he needs to there then maybe there is something going on at home and it’s a cry for help or attention
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I hope your son is okay, but I agree with a couple of the comments that a therapist wouldn’t hurt. I hope all will be well, poor little guy. I’m not going to make assumptions, or project like some of these comments. Some are just plain cruel. I would ask his general practitioner if he has a specialist he could recommend for said issue.
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It sounds like it’s happening during the day? I think a Dr and a therapist is also the answer. At night is one thing but during the day is another.
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Kids this age, put off going to the bathroom cuz theyre too busy playing and wait too long. Youll have to keep track when he get done drinking anything and tell him when its time to go pee… and even thougg its easier dont put pull-ups on him. They dont allow him to feel the wetness but cant hold enough for a 7yr old boys size of bladder. I went through this with my daughter when she was this age. She is now 40yrs old and still once in great while she still has accidents instead of stopping somewhere to go pee she puts it off for too long and it just happens. I tell her she gas a bashful bladder now. Cuz she wont use a public bathroom nor go somewhere along the road while shes driving somewhere. She tells me she cant do this. Maybe you need to tell your son its okay to pee outside where the neighbors cant see him behind a bush or something. This worked for my son. He was introduced to go pee outside as well. And i never had a problem. Also little kids sometimes cant get their pants down fast enough so maybe while hes home let him wear sweat pants. Cuz at school they do have bathroom breaks and tell kids to raise their hands in-between if they gotta go potty. At home youre not keeping track of anyrhing. Drinking liquids and if or when he has to go afterwards… this normal and you just cant let him totally be on his own yet so hes just winging it at home and if hes wet and sets on your furniture hes not saying anyrhing probably cuz he knows youll gripe at him. And its you that needs to keep track of when he drinks anything and how soon he needs to go afterwards… and make scheduled potty breaks like the school does… meanwhile cover your furniture with a plastic barrier and absorbent so it dont run everywhere. Kids just wait too long is all. My kids use to be on my schedule at one point and we had one bathroom in the house. And there were times i had to give up the toilet and stop and hold it so they could go. And once they were done and gone i got to finish what i needed to do. Why? Cuz i had to keep their schedule going. This is something all parents do, to some extent when they have smaller children. Then when they get to be teenager boys… Youll find 2 liter bottles in their room cuz they didnt feel like getting up and running to the bathroom. Or theyll go outside as well. Kids are nothing but all kinds of different things to experience. And dad’s usually dont have time to explain anything to kids without getting really upset about any situation their kids get into and dont want to teach them the art of potty training… my husband decided cuz hes 2 yr old shouldnt sit down to pee he being his boy should stand up and pee in the toilet. Great? Nope dad didnt teach him to hang onto that little firehose and hed pee all over the front of the toilet and floor. So my husband he got tired of me bitching cuz i had to keep a mop and bucket ready at all times in the bathroom. So he had our son to stand next to the toilet which was a great idea until the toilet lid and seat slammed down on our son’s willy. Then he was afraid of the toilet and refused to pee in it. I tried everything at this age too. Bought a stepping stool so he was taller- no good. I ended up finding a old camp coffee pot the was able to stand over and aimed at the spout and then hed pour the pee in the toilet. His dad thought i was crazy and it would ruin his boy. It didnt and wed have to take his pee pot with us if we went anywhere. In public he went in the bathroom with me anyways. His dad wouldn’t take him… but this was something he did until he started school which have shorter toilets for the kids. And boys have urinals in their bathrooms. Maybe your toilet is too tall for your son?? Or maybe he likes using a urinal like they have in school…?, you gotta try and talj to him or go to his school and go see…
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I was at the urologist with my son for bed wetting today actually. It’s not uncommon AT ALL. The doctor also suggested to check out this website for more information, it’s very interesting to read about!
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If he’s using the restroom at school and having issues at home… Maybe look closely at what’s going on at home.
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Sounds like he is used to getting away with it and has become lazy with holding his bladder at home, do what my grandma did and take his pants away till he stops peeing in them, it worked for my son
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Keep trying don’t give up
He could be acting out, or so distracted he doesn’t get up to go in time. If he doesn’t seem worried, I’d suggest pull-up and make a big deal out of him having to get up and clean himself up. There’s a fine line between shaming him and making him realize he’s too old to be doing that, but you’ll have to figure it out.
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PLEASE test for diabetes!! My daughter did the exact thing at that age. Her teacher wrote a note home stating she was drinking a lot of water and going to the bathroom more than normal. She turned out to be T1 Diabetic. When sugars are high the body automatically releases pee to remove the sugars from the body. She peed the bed on a number of occasions, some days back to back. Other than that she acted normal. No other symptoms. All made sense when dx. She’s 13 now and doing amazing!
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Behavioral / emotional
It’s emotional something going on at home . Dad things between you and him jealousy could be anything shaming him qont work sit him down and talk
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My little dude hit six in July. He’s recently stopped peeing his pants during the day 95% of the time and is waking up with a wet pull-up in the middle of the night, changes into another one, and in the morning he’s dry. I limit liquids, have tried different undies, doctors, trying to will him with my mind to stay dry, tried to pay the kid, positive reinforcement, blahblahblah just like you have at this point.
He will do it one day and you will both be SO proud.
No advice. Sorry. Joint suffrage I guess. Good luck!
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Therpy time. He’s acting out of he’s awake and just sitting there and peeing… something is going on and it’s obviously emotional and or mentally.
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Therapy. Sounds like a possible sexual abuse situation.
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My almost five year old refuses to poop in the toilet and my seven year old pees the bed nightly. I have no advice but I want you to know you’re not alone.
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My daughter did this for well over a year. It took me telling her dr I wanted a urologist referral for her to do something. They finally found out the problem and put her on some meds. It’s helped so much. I’d ask for a second opinion. Only because I blamed her and myself the whole time until we finally got answers and now I feel awful for thinking she was doing it on purpose
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Therapy, there’s something going on.
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If he is playing real hard he may put off peeing until the last minute
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Definitely talk to a dr and/or therapist to make sure he’s ok. Stuff like that can be a sign of abuse or stress. Hang in there 
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I personally have not had this problem but if he goes just fine at school an pees all day at home might be a behavior ,wants some type of attention maybe talk to a counselor
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Some kids thrive in the structure of school. When at home they can get lost in playing games or cartoons and just ignore the signals to go potty. If he will sit and play games, set a timer and he has to get up every 45 minutes to try to pee, stretch, and move to a different activity. Don’t restrict his liquid intake because them you create another issue, dehydration.
That can be dubbed neglect if he is seen by a doc 
See if a schedule like school helps. Mimic that structure.
And did he start peeing after school started or was he peeing at home during the day before school started? If it was before I’m surprised they allowed him to go to school 
there is a trigger. My son took FOREVER to get him to poop in the potty. He would pee fine! But if he was doing his puzzle books or mazes he would ignore the cues to go take a dump and literally sit there and grunt it out while finding Waldo at his art table.
THREE AND A HALF YEARS! I tried everything! Then me and a teacher friend noticed he was hyper focused. That’s a sign of a spectrum thing like aspergers. 
so then I set his day up like a school day and we struggled still UNTIL I told him he can’t go to big boy school if he poops in the school chairs. He never pooped his pants again 
he followed the schedule (which caused some trying times getting him to follow a new schedule but I stuck with it) and boom…. Never another crappy pair of Underoos. I felt so dumb after it clicked with him.
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Sounds purely behavioral. I would recommend behavioral therapy to get to the root of the issue. Especially since he doesnt do the same thing at school
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If you have taken to the dr to rule out anything medical then this is a behavior issue. If rewards don’t work try taking something away. My 7 yr old daughter looses her electronics for 24hrs for bad behavior.
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Put him in a diaper and make him change it himself just like he would do when he has " an accident "
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I read an article about chronic constipation that could cause “accidents”. The bladder gets squeezed from a full colon. Worth looking into.
I hope you get it figured out
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My daughter used to wet during the day at school & home then it was just at home when she was too ingrosed in her xbox watching tv or just playing with her toys, she went a urologist for yrs no dark drinks at all we had to tell her to go to the bathroom every 30 mins nothing to drink an hr before bed & go to bathroom twice before sleep, it’s something to do with a hormone not developing & being constipated she had to drink more liquid, please don’t ever punish him for it & don’t belittle him either as some people have suggested & don’t make him clean up his mess or do his own laundry that’s like punishment ask him to help you clean the mess, don’t allow him to sit on the furniture, buy a waterproof mattress & protector it will save the mattress.
My daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in Jan last yr & is waiting to be assessed for adhd/autism i wish you the best of luck please feel free to message if you have any questions x
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Your son is being abused when he’s at home and he has no way of expressing his trauma. He feels safer at school so it would be best to check that out
Well, I imagine at school, it’s pretty clear that peeing in his pants is unacceptable. Perhaps he hasn’t gotten the message at home clearly enough.
My boy is the same he’s 6. Was referred to the school nurse etc he was having accidents at school too. Half the time he Literally wouldn’t know he peed himself was a nightmare. Finally back to school September no accidentsat school, a couple at home and i put him in nappies at bed as he doesn’t wake and was stressing me out changing his bed 2/3 times a night. School prompt him to toilet every 30-45 minutes. I don’t do this at home but once he’s had a drink 20-30 minutes after I do get him to go even if to try as I know he will have accidents otherwise. I keep an empty bottle in the car for him incase as he cannot hold it once he needs to go he needs to go. He is being tested for other problems which may include a weak bladder. But the info the nurse gave me is if they don’t drink enough they can have accidents etc had to increase fluids etc things like that x
Until he gets that specific hormone going in his body it will be a while. Get him some pull-ups.
If you have had him physically tested ask him if there is anything going on at school, or is there something going on at home with someone touching him inappropriately. 7 year olds that can go to school without incidents and been tested is being abused or lazy.