Family…sorry for the long post I’ll make it short as possible. Basically we are normally quite a close family. But the siblings dig at me when we are all out. I ain’t allways perfect but I admit it for sure when I ain’t (I’m quite a straight person) But our parent likes us all together when we do things but it’s making me feel sad doing it but I have to ‘keep quite’ to keep them happy to have us all around at same time. They team up and try make me look the bad person for reacting back. Well we was out and I simply was talking to parent and then they start doing sh*tty digs for me to hear. I didn’t say anything bad to them or about them was actually talking about paying for a treat to the parent. They got all funny about it, and because I said no need be an arse hole I’m the bad person. They do this on many occasions. Then they try making me out to be the bad person because I snapped but why should I keep putting up with it. Parent now uptight because we won’t be together all at the same time. now makes me feel bad. I’m type person to help out whenever I can but fed up of keep taking the rubbish to make parent feel happy. My happiness should count to right? Why should I have to keep taking it when we are out to please 1 person and then feel crap for the rest of the time? Don’t get me wrong they can be nice when their being ‘pleased’ or its ‘their way’. I don’t really no what I want out of this really. Maybe just to see if u people think I’m wrong for saying something or just keep my mouth shut to please everyone like normal. Just brings me down feeling trapped having to watch what I say and do knowing they can start with the way they act at any time. Parent feels in the middle as we won’t be alltogether but why should I be made to feel like that. Am I putting parent in the middle by going out separate? Plenty of days in the week right? Why can’t we all just see parent at diffrent times and my happiness count. I just want to feel like I mean something right now
Do whats best for you hun!
See your parents individually but also do not be afraid to speak up, for every comment they make you make one back it sounds mean but they’ll learn to keep to themselves or get their feelings hurt, they continue to treat you bad because it’s not been corrected
because your Mom/Dad want nothing more then have their children get along. You will have plenty of time after they are no longer here to do as you please humor them. My question is how do you know what is in your sister/brothers heart something tell me you have it set in your head and you need to grow up too
I am sorry your siblings treat you this way. I hope you can talk to them privately and resolve this. But if not just keep going out with the group to please your parents.when your parents are gone,mine are, you will wish you had more days to make them happy. Tell your siblings hush it then tune them out. Dont stop doing things that make your parents happy.when they are gone you won’t have regrets. Im wishing you the best!
I say call them out, every time or just start keeping track and laughing cause after a point " we’re just kidding" is bogus…like if you’re joking “shouldn’t we all be laughing?” Turn to mom and Dad and say Hey I love you let’s do tea this Wednesday or get the book on family roles and start talking about the good child, the “bad child.” the family “clown” lots of things so that you don’t feel you’re not sticking up for yourself. Get a good counselor for yourself <3 Good Luck and hang in there!!
My first question/thought is how old are you…you seem young and if that’s the case your parents really need to handle this better. If you’re adult then by no means do you have to put up with anyone…family or not!!!
Please speak up for yourself because the more it’s allowed to happen the worse it will get, let them see how the things they do upset you, but don’t let it change you, because the more resentment you have inside you, will only lead to hatred. Try talking to them individually and see if you can build up a better picture as to why they are treating you this way. Xx
You should never put your happiness in the back burner for no one. Your parents want you’ll there together rhyme they should stick up for you. Your right see them on your own theirs nothing wrong with it.
There’s your side, their side, then the truth.
Nope! I’m way too sarcastic and an AH to deal with that. Have them rocking back and forth in a corner crying when it’s my turn to play their game. Don’t get mad and yell, own your own ish and matter of factly remind them of yours. If your parent cared, they would parent and tell them to knock it off… if they can’t then you have to protect yourself and either put the siblings in their place or avoid them
Sierra Callahan what’s so funny laughing at someone’s pain?
The only thing you have control over in this life is how you choose to react. Sometimes you have to own that you’re just as much at fault. In other words, how can you make the situation less volatile? If you’re always on defense everything is offensive…control how you receive and react. That’s all you can do.
Neither. I think space and time with everyone having some self growth is the only solution to this problem. This sounds toxic all the way around.
No need to be around people who don’t treat you right
So much for this being short!! You sound very young and immature. Speak to yr parents
I think they are trying to control you.
You have right to speak your mind and your parents need to support you.
Maybe you need to sit down with your family and express how you feel and hopefully they will take your feelings into consideration
I’m the black sheep I’m told to tone it down and I’m the embarrassing siblings lol my brother doesn’t like me period it hurts terribly but once you walk away you don’t feel it, sometimes it hits we ain’t close and I’m sad but I’ve reached out so I gave up I’m happy with my own family…ehh embarrassing sister life
Your happiness and mental health matter. You can’t lose yourself trying to please others. I walked away, and I know my mother wishes we all got along. But I needed peace.
Sounds like my brothers, always putting me down every chance they got one day I lost my temoer and reamed them new one. My motger chewed me out and I blew up at her for always allowing mt brothers to treat me like garbage and I did not attend family get togethers for 2 years they knew why and all apologized. Make it kbown you will not put up with this treatment and dont go around them.
Are your siblings all brothers…Maybe they pick on you because they see you as the sensitive one so it is easier to get a rise out of you…they probably dont think they are that bad…maybe communicate with each one asking what their problem is why they have to pick on you…after you talk with each one tell them if they dont change you wont be coming around them for awhile…tell your mother the same thing you cant handle the digging and you prefer to not visit when everyone is all together for your peace of mind…because the next time they all start you could always turn around and tell them off and leave …
I literally cut my sister out of my life for almost 3 years. We did this. I got mom and dad Christmas eve, she got them Christmas day (I had other plans so it worked) the only time we saw each other was at my grandma’s funeral. The back story was different, the outcome though sometimes wasn’t easy but I was happy without that drama. We’ve made up, been talking a year and I think we’ve both grown up a lot, but I’d never live with her again.
Stop speaking when you hear them and just stare them down. Say nothing but stop what you’re doing at stare at them. Just a blank faced stare. If they ask what, just keep staring. After a minute or so continue on as if nothing had been said. They have two choices, double down on what they said, or find something else to do.
Nope speak your mind if they can say what they say you can say what you need to say
I would ask them right out what’s your problem with me
Our New Year’s resolution was to stay away from toxic people. Maybe this is what you need to do. People never change.
Cut them ALL off. Parents too. Your parents want you to keep your mouth shut to keep the peace, but don’t say anything to the siblings for being assholes?! No. That’s not how it works. Defend yourself, each and every time! As long as you allow it to continue, it will continue. You don’t have to go back at them nasty, but each and every time one of them makes a smart comment, speak up about it! If it doesn’t stop, then stop coming around.
I would tell them to kiss your ass No one should have to tolerate being put down just to make someone else happy If this family member really cared about you they would not want you to put up with assholes being rude to ya Delete those idiots for good You will feel so much better Cause ya won’t be stressed out
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I hope mom is setting them straight also…
There’s a “black sheep” in every family . I’m the one in mine. I do alot of " mirror work " to deal with it and other stress.
Tell your parent you don’t want to be around them
Period. And…don’t.
Travel by yourself. If they start up, quietly but strongly say your piece and leave. No matter the age you don’t need to be insulted. Despite others feelings,let family know you are distancing unless the bullying stops
You should be saying all this to your parents. If they want their kids all together, they will either step up and support you, or help you understand what your part in all this is.
Their response will let you know what you need to do to feel better.
You do whats best for you not everyone else
Just because someone is blood doesn’t mean you can’t walk away.
I moved 3,000 Miles away from my family. They are much nicer when they don’t get to see you much.