My siblings do not like the man I am with: Advice?

If he can’t go then we don’t go, it’s that simple.

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I would have a conversation with my siblings and ask them to tell me what reasons they have to not like him? Either tell me or behave, I wouldn’t let them disrespect my child’s father and also would have a conversation with my parents asking them why they’re not including him as well because in a way they’re also disrespecting him.

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If you are an adult , they have to respect your decision.If they don’t invite him,don’t invite me either.

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Have a get together and don’t invite your sisters

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What is the question? If you want to marry this man nothing about how anyone cares or feels matters. If he becomes your husband then I would explain it’s a package deal with us.

Stand by ur man! Fuck the family that doesnt like him. You love him and he of he is good for you that’s all that matters!!!

If it was me I would be like until you respect and accept my man that treats me right then you wont be seeing me and my kid either then me my man and kid would do our own thing making our own memories and traditions

If I were you I wouldn’t go to a function where my partner is not invited because of stupid reasons,if they don’t like each other fine, stay out of each others way even at a gathering,why would somebody be excluded out of it

Have you complained about him to your siblings in the past? Ask why they don’t like him if you haven’t. Have a sit down with them to find out. Do they specifically say he isn’t invited? If not bring him. Your parents brother and SIL are okay with him so why are your other siblings not? I would need some answers in case there is something I don’t know about him. I was with my husband for 4 years before marriage and believe me I learned allot after I was married.

Let them no he is a permanent figure and that an invite to you included him from now on

If my fiance and father of my children wasn’t invited to family gatherings, none of us woukd go! They don’t have to like him, but they do need to be civil. He will always be there, as the father of their niece!
Your sister’s are petty bitches

Tell them to grow the fuck up and just don’t go to things unless they invite the both of you.

U already have a kid with him… Sooooooo they need to suck it up.

my husband’s sisters and I do not get along well eaither we do not even talk to eachother and this happen when I was dating him, my husband and I did not care we married eachother and did what made us happy . It was meant to be and if they do not care for me that is their proble,

My siblings don’t like me!!All I can say is oh well!!

What did you tell your sisters about him in the past? A number of reasons…like what? Did you vent to them about issues y’all had? Never vent to close family about your SO because then this happens every time and you end up defending them forever.

You see friends and family’s true colors once you announce you are pregnant or getting married. It’s just the way it is. Stop venting to family. I wouldn’t go to family functions if my man wasn’t invited. I’d host and invite friends/family instead. The only thing that matters is, are you happy? Is your boyfriend happy? Focus on your new life, that’s all that matters. Let go of the negative.

That’s not right. If your with him and love him, he should get to come to family functions. what if you were married but divorced? He’s your ex/family, your child’s father what then?

Before you had a child together the lack of invitation may have been acceptable, however there is now a child involved. It’s not really fair to tell him he can’t come to Christmas for example and miss out on that experience with his child

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If that happened to the person I’m with and have a family with… I wouldn’t be going to any of those things. Going to them without him is almost showing you’re picking sides.

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Do they have good cause for not liking him?

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So your male siblings and parents like him. But not your female siblings? Why?

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Are your siblings who don’t like him married or in a relationship? I would tell them this is my family my happiness I should not have to choose between the 2 of you.

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If theres not a super valid reason for their feelings, then I’d say screw their feelings. If my significant other/father of my kids wasnt invited, I wouldn’t be attending either.

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Ur siblings aren’t dating him. Tell them to get over it and live ur own life.

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At this point he’s apart of the family weather they like it or not since you two have a child together. And if he’s not invited then yourself and child shouldn’t be attending.

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Whose with him, your family isn’t and you need to do what’s good for you just as they are doing

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Maybe they see something in him that you dont.

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Personally if my partner isn’t invited without a extremely good reason I wouldn’t go either

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I absolutely love my family but if they treated my significant other that way without valid reasons, I would choose him. He is the one I’m building my life with, especially if children are involved. Just let it be clear you are taking him or you are not going. If they love you, they will make the effort.

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Why do your sisters decide if he’s invited?

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But, are you analyzing what they dont approve of

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I didn’t go to my family’s for Thanksgiving yesterday because my bf wasn’t welcome…it doesn’t bother him but it bothers me.

All family’s are different but you need to decide what is ok to tolerate from your siblings/parents for your created family.

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Make your choice. Him or your family. I had to make that choice. Chose my husband. My family figured out their bullying wasn’t going to work. All is well.

Just a friendly reminder to your siblings: if they aren’t accepting him, then they aren’t accepting your child

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If there is no valid reason(he posses a danger or something) it’s up to you to stand up for your man. They don’t have to like him, but make it perfectly clear he is part of your family and will be attending family functions with you period. If he’s not welcome then don’t bother inviting you. If you do not, you are not only allowing them to disrespect him but you are also disrespecting him. Same goes both ways.

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I think it depends on why they don’t like him. Does he mistreat you in some way? Because other than that it shouldn’t really matter. My family didn’t really like my ex and we had two kids together. BUT they still invited him to everything. They treated him with respect and made every effort to get to know him and make him feel like part of the family. EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDNT LIKE HIM. If you are a couple and have a family then you should come as a pair and it shouldn’t be an option to leave him out.

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Went through this we cut both families off! If you can’t except my spouse then I won’t be there either. You may not like him but you’ll respect him and me!!

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Have you asked why they dont like him? If it isnt for any valid reasons, then politely tell them to deal with it. He is your family. What would happen if you brought him with even without their express invite? I’d do it and see what happens. Gives a chance for you to put it all out there for them all at the same time. I’d never let my family treat my SO like that.

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Is there a legitimate reason they don’t like him? This may not be true in your situation, but a lot of the times I feel like that others see what we can’t see because as they say “love is blind” And I would start by asking myself if they have a valid point and if they do not then I would not worry about it. You do you

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I’m sorry, but if he makes you happy, they’re gonna have to suck it up as long as he is treating you and your children good, then they really don’t have much to say about it…

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Funny she gives no explanation of why they don’t like him.

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Why don’t they like him? Why would you go if he’s not invited?

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You have a child together. It is not acceptable for them to exclude him anymore. I would say to them “if you arent including him, you aren’t including my child or me.” And walk away. Your child should not see him being treated as less than family. Because he is family.

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Personally if my hinby cant come then me and my kids wont be there.

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Not everyone in a family gets along. And that’s fine. But your sisters can and should be civil. If not I’d stop extending an invitation to them. Yes they’re your family but your loyalty should be with this man if he is who you want to build a life with.

I’d also stop showing up if they won’t invite the entire family.

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you know, I was with a guy that my sister hated from the get-go. Turns out, she had a good reason

maybe ask them if they are seeing things that you don’t question mark and take an honest look at everything

Not to be a complete asshole, but if they’re not extending invites to him would they be ok with not seeing you? I mean, our partners are kind of a given, especially when children are involved. I’d call them out on it and have a real frank discussion. Sounds completely unfair.

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My husband and I split up in March but when we were together there was a lot of hostility between him and certain members of my family also (sister, grandma, etc.) As his wife, I felt that we were a package deal and when it was brought up that he would not be welcome, I just very bluntly, but respectfully, told them that we either came as a family or we didn’t come at all. :woman_shrugging:

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If you really feel way this way about him they need to grow up

If he isn’t welcomed or at minimum invited and treated decently, then you should back him up and end not attend either

I would definitely need to know why they don’t like him cause it seems a bit harsh.

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How do they tell you that youre invited but not him… When my bra family invites him to things i always go. Ive been with him 7 yrs amd i dunno maybe cause if I didnt go or make him go he wouldnt go lol tell your siblings that if jes not invited than you amd your kid(s) arent gonna go. Hes part of your family and shouldnt be singled out. Ovbiously there’s a reason they dont like him. Whether is jealousy or just his personality.
But whatever the reason if he makes you happy and treats you right then they should be happy for you and welcome him into the family.

But see how quickly they change their attitudes when you take a stand and start not going to family functions hes not welcome at

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The fact that he’s not invited to events is not right. Unless he did something to cause issues like everyone has said.

I need to know, the relationship between said sister and question asker, and why this “dislike” is so deep, then I can give my opinion. Too many unknowns.

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It’s been my experience that as time goes on and because you do share a child the walls will come down and eventually he will be accepted.

Then extend it and invite him or tell them to piss off

You need to tell them to deal with it because eventually the kid will be old enough to notice and ask why doesnt dad ever come with us. Tell them if they want to see the baby hes included in that

Can’t please everyone 🤷

As much as our families struggle with it, WE pick our mate, not them. The person THEY pick for you would not be the person you spend the rest of your life with. So if they respect you, they must respect your choice; this extends to inviting your partner.

Very immature of your sister. I am not sure I would go if they can’t accommodate him for a short period of time your sister is very judgmental and is has little regard for your feeling.

Have a family get together but don’t invite your siblings! See how they like it!

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Why don’t they like him? Is there some behavior that? you are overlooking

Tbh i wouldnt go either to any of these. Id let tyem know why too

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My husband and I are a family unit, if he is not invited, neither am I. If I am invited, he is going. I have siblings that dont care for him, idgaf.

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Your sisters need to grow up and just deal with it. How would you deal with things if you disliked their partner?

I would let them know if he isn’t invited, I’m not going either. You’re a family now, it’s all of you or none.

If your child is invited then so is her Daddy. Simple as that. That is totally ridiculous unless he is a danger in someway.

Idk the sister issues with the guy, but I delt with this too. Ultimately you have to draw the line. That’s what I did and my sister got over her issue. She still doesnt care for my boyfriend but she tolerates being around him because shed rather still have me involved in her life… the way I look at it is she doesnt have to live with or love him it’s not her call. If your sisterly bond is that important she can get over her feelings, and as far as your family backing her they should have kept a neutral stand point. Family is fickle and eventually you will eventually figure out who’s there to be by your side or sadly who’s too selfish and worried about thier own gains an loses to even care about yours.

If they are inviting you they are inviting your significant other. It’s your boyfriend not theirs. If they can’t respect that and your HAPPY. Then focus on your family at home. Not them

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Guess it depends on what ig anything hes done to make them not like him. Cant form an opinion or give advice without a back story.

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another fabricated story to get people going is there any stories with integrity on this site people are actually going to give an answer when there is no sourcable person for it to go to

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Seems like you are in a tough place, but my husband and children out rank everyone else and their opinion.

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Not their relationship so I wouldn’t worry about it. Tell them to grow up.

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Are you happy with them? Because that’s all that matters

I am in the same boat, I just don’t go to any family functions (not even funerals) we did go to my moms funeral only because he knew that no one would talk to me. I am pregnant with my 4th (almost time to have my c section) and none of my family will know my child. Do what you have to do Momma don’t stress everything works out in the end

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I would tell my sisters that he’s going to be around for a while so get use to it and grow up :joy::woman_shrugging:t2:

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It’s not there happiness!

You date him. Not them. They need to show respect. There are now children involved. Excluding him BC they don’t like him is exceptionally ignorant on all parts. And if you leave him behind to attend events with them…shame on you as well.

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If my husband isn’t invited I’m not going 🤷

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When you stop showing up to the functions then you and your partner will both be invited. Father of your kids not theirs and your partner. If he’s a good dad and partner then that’s all that should matter.

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There is an expression that I truly believe, and that is “the family you come from is important but the family you make is everything” and if this man is the person you want to spend your life with then him and yalls son are the family you are making and they should come before everything. So I would tell your family from now on if your boyfriend is not invited then you and your son aren’t going and stick to it.

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My brothers are always correct. Others not so much. Consider the source and the possibility they see something you cannot :woman_shrugging:t5::woman_shrugging:t5:

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Why is it they dont like him? Maybe give us a little more info??

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Um. Your family should respect your choices. Talk to them sternly and if they still don’t leave you the fuck alone then cut off the whole family. As soon as Grandma sees baby is not coming over anymore she’ll stop this bullshit and if she doesn’t well then she ain’t worth it. He is the father of your baby and obviously there’s a baby now, your siblings feelings can go straight to hell.

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Reason they don’t like him?

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Dont go unless he is welcome…unless he has truly done something awful to them.

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I feel you I am in the same boat he has given my family many reasons not to like him though but always makes it up to me

Well obviously there’s a back story on why they don’t like him…maybe it’s something u don’t know about that their afraid to tell you…i would talk to them privately and ask what the problem is… And if its not a valid reason on why they don’t like him… Then they need to get over it… you guys are your own family now that u have a kid together and u shouldn’t have to segregrate family to be with other family…i would invite him to family functions anyway cuz you’re the one dating him and not them…so If you’re happy then who cares If they love u…then they either accept him for you … And if they can’t then… I wouldnt go to anymore family functions… Until hes allowed… I wouldn’t be apart of their life until they can get over themselves … It sucks and its hard at first but family will come crying back… I would find out the real reason…like i said maybe there something they know or seen something… that u don’t know.

If they want you there, then he will be there. Plain and simple.

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Start hosting the gatherings at your house and whoever comes fine and whoever don’t, that’s fine too.

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My husbands family never liked me, from day one. My MIL was nice but it was kinda forced. I invited them to our family functions but they really didn’t show up. My husband and children were invited to their functions, but I was specifically asked to not show up. Eventually my husband stopped going altogether. Meanwhile my family welcomed him with open arms and so that’s who we spent holidays and special occasions with.

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Well when you marry him they won’t have a choice, my husband goes where I go

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That’s just rude not to include when y’all have kids n they’re family n included ?

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Not ur problem. Do holidays with just u guys. My inlaws dont like me and im not allowed at holidays so we do our own thing with our kids and they all miss out seeing the kids for the holidays. Not my problem and honestly. Its less stress on me

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I need more info, why do they not like him?? This is a major factor in the story, Granted it is your life but if he did something to validate their not liking him then thats a totally different situation. ie: cheated? Abusive? Either mentally, physically or verbally. Doesnt work and you provide all the income? Dated one of ur siblings? Im just throwing things out there

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Let them know that the person they are hurting the most is you.

Why dont they like him? If youve vented to them and they dont like him for those reasons then thats something you need to correct. Dont bring people into your relationship issues. You’ll forgive him they wont.

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I guess I’d give their opinion consideration. Why don’t they like him? The reasons might be legitimate. They want u happy and maybe foresee a horrible future.

Your invited? Bring him anyways. Put them in their place and tell them to stay in their lane. Period. If they can’t accept him, then you stop going to functions as well.

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