My sister doesn't like my spouse: Advice?

I’ve been with my partner for over a year. Ever since day one my sister didn’t like him. They have only saw each other once in person, she never came up and talked to him she kept her distance. She’s one of those nosey people that ask alot of questions and get in your business. One day she was on the phone just asking him 21 questions she was being a little rude and he got upset and said some words and hung up the phone. It’s like ever since I told her about him she’s talked bad about him. She’s told my whole family he’s a horrible guy. So now family that’s never met him talk bad about him, including my parents. They just walk pass him if they see him not talk to him. I always wanna go to family events together but I never go because of what she said and how others act. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. We are having a baby and she told me she won’t be at the hospital as long as he’s there. She wants me to tell him he can’t be there for the birth of his child. And she’s been telling me to not give the baby his last name. This is my second pregnancy and it’s by fair the most stressful. I’m so hurt because I found someone that I can be myself with and loves my son like his own and I love his kids like my own. Of course we have our ups and downs like an other couple. I just want her to get over herself! It’s like she doesn’t want me to be happy. I stopped talking to her for awhile and she blames him when it’s actually her. I don’t know what to do. I wanna have a baby shower but I honestly don’t see a point in it if everyone acts negative about him.


She sounds very judgemental and jealous because some females are just that way… Or she may just know him from the past and doesn’t want you hurt, in that case she should just tell you.


This doesn’t even sound Normal there is something more to this ? Why doesn’t she like him is there a reason does she know him from the pass or is she Jealous of you and has serious issues


Sounds like there is some history there that isn’t being brought to light.


obviously there is something she knows or sees about him that you don’t


It’s your life and sis needs to mind her own business. You can and should cut ties with toxic family members. Live your best life under your terms.


It’s not your problem who your sister does or doesn’t like. That’s your sisters problem. It’s not your job to make her like anyone. That’s a her problem mama. It sounds like she might be a little jealous that you’re happy.


I wonder where she recognized him from. Because it comes across that she recognized him, and it was from something unsavory. I wonder what she said, since you said you don’t go to family gatherings because of what she said. Sounds specific, like she has told you exactly why she doesn’t like him…


She knows something you don’t know :joy: oh sis you need to find out


First of all if she doesn’t like him she can avoid him second of all you’re starting a family and having a baby with somebody that you said you’re comfortable around that’s all that matters if she wants to miss out and be Miss petty Betty let her. How are you gonna tell the babies father he can’t be there?? That child(baby) is just as much his as it is yours and at the end of the day it’s your little family you need to worry about. If your family and your sister can’t accept that then you need to start cutting people off and third of all when it comes to a baby shower sweetheart that is for the baby not for anybody else so invite everybody if they show up awesome enjoy their company and celebrate baby and if they don’t then so be it people will show the true colors it’s up to you what you do with them…. Me personally, I would paint a rainbow and move on.


Have you talked :poop: about him when you guys are fighting? Sounds like there’s more to the story.


People who aren’t happy for you can stay where they are. It’s your life. Live it without them


So, your sister met him once and interrogated him over the phone. She’s made her decision he’s no good. She has told your family he is no good, and they, never having met him, agree he is no good and talk bad about him to you. You’re one year in, you already have a child by another man, he has children by another woman/other women - and you have a baby together on the way.

Sounds to me like either
A. you’re young and your family is guarded considering your situation
B. They know something about him that you don’t or are not telling here
C. It’s time you focus on your child/ren and build a strong unit for your own family

Typically people “judge” when they’re afraid or in defense mode. If your family is judging for no good reason - they are wrong to do that. But if they have reason - put your heart aside for a moment and listen with your brain. I want to believe that they only want what is best for you.


Actions speak louder than words . Go to events let them see how happy you both are . Let them see how he interacts with your other child .


Sounds like your sister is the problem. Something’s going on with her that she acted this way right away… maybe jealousy? Idk. It’s her problem not yours. You and your husband need to keep living your lives together and go to family events. Be yourselves. If they don’t want to get to know him then that’s on them. At least give it a shot.

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Honestly, he should have put up with your sister’s antics when they first met. He was rude. BUT she’s blowing it all out of proportion.

I would completely go n/c with her. Period. Jealous is an ugly thing and sometimes it takes cutting someone out completely for them to understand their behavior is unacceptable. Be happy for YOU. Don’t let her continuously get under your skin. Have a baby shower just make sure she’s not there. If she can’t be an adult she doesn’t deserve to celebrate.

Yes that’s your sister, and you might be missing her at times, but that’s your partner and you guys are having a baby. They should be your main priority. Your kids and your partner. If they have a problem with him, oh well. To sound harsh, fuck em. Maybe eventually they’ll come around and accept him

Time to tell your sister to step back and your family that if they want to be apart of your family they have to accept your partner. He has done nothing wrong and your sister doesn’t even know him.

She either knows something you don’t , or they’ve hooked up in the past.


Oh well your family is now the baby and him…can’t change people’s minds and can’t force him to be around them


Let me guess she’s not in a happy relationship. It sounds like jealousy mixed with not being told off. Talk to your parents. Ask them if they liked him BEFORE sis talking bad & why they’d let her influence the way they feel. Tell them you’re happy with him & want them to be included in your & your baby’s lives but that can’t happen if they make him uncomfortable.

I’d cut sis off. Don’t tell her when baby is born. She’ll find out through family but that doesn’t mean you have to answer her calls, texts etc. She can know baby exists without being near it.

Wow, she sounds very selfish and it’s a shame the family listens without being their own judge. Not right of her to expect him not to be there for his child’s birth… Wow

Your sister doesn’t like him because he confronted her. Most people don’t know how to handle confrontation and it sounds like your sister likes to be in control and when they can’t control someone, they dismiss them. Hence what you are dealing with. I know this is easier said than done; but tell your sister to grow up. Remind her that it’s your partner and she doesn’t have to like him, but you will not tolerate her disrespect. Remind her that her treatment towards him reflects on her level of respect for you. Throw a baby shower anyway and invite your friends and family and if they don’t show up that is there loss. When you hear someone speaking badly of your partner, confront them. Ask them why they feel that way when they haven’t even spoken to him? Be the voice your partner hasn’t been given.

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It’s your life, and if you’re happy with him then it’s not her place to decide what’s going on in your life. She needs a life, go buy her one :woozy_face::joy:

Your child needs a dad more than an aunt. It could be jealousy, just because she’s your sister doesn’t mean she wants to see you happy :woman_shrugging:t2:


Your sister is a jealous vindictive person tell your family to start treating him right put your foot down

Maybe sis knows something about him that she doesn’t want you to know

Toxic people are just to be avoided at all cost. Don’t write Her off yet, invite as many of the other family members to an after the Thanksgiving dinner at your house or a reasonably priced restaurant or AYCE, If anyone askes why she wasn’t invited ,tell the truth, She prefers to not be around “Us” don’t elaborate. We think that would be kinder than She deserves. God Bless,

Clearly she doesn’t like him for a reason and by the sounds of you haven’t asked why just went on about how she talks bad about him :woozy_face: maybe find out the reason she doesn’t like him and go from there :woman_shrugging:t3: you all need to sit down together and come down to the bottom of what the actual issue is (of course without him) because either way he’s gonna be apart of your life especially if you’re having a child with him. Or you can just separate yourself from your family entirely and worry about your own you’ve created and have a baby shower with those who actually care and don’t have an issue with him


I would slap the shit outta my sibling if they put a bad rep on my significant other out of selfishness. If my family acts like they dnt like him without even getting to know him then I would piss a bitch and ruin every event I attended since they’re so fixated on making me miserable. They would definitely think twice before playing with me and mines over the bullshit someone else placed into their heads

Id be asking her why she doesn’t like him. If she knows something you don’t or they have some kind of history better she tells you and you can talk about it with your partner.
Not everyone can get on but sometimes there’s good reason and she should be honest with you even if she thinks you could be hurt.
If there’s no good reason for her behaviour then she should mind her own business and stop causing trouble


She probably can’t get him in bed with her and that’s why she’s mad

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Ordinarily I’d say her soul and his have some aincient feud goin on but with her acting like such a jackass and poisoning the well with your family (and them drinking it) I’d have to say she’s not evolved enough for that, your sister is likely an immature and dysfunctional ass

Maybe they have a history you don’t know about

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Why do so many people think their must be more to the story? You do realize that there ARE controlling narcissistic people, right? Maybe her sister is just controlling

Sounds like sister might know more about him than you do. Ask her to come clean about what she knows.

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Either she knows something you don’t or theirs more to the story that’s not being told

Theirs definitely more to this story

If they can’t respect your significant other and step child then it sounds like they showed you they don’t deserve to know your bio child before it’s even born. Worry about the family you created, not the one you came from.

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You said she’s nosey and in everyone’s business, are you sure there isn’t some business she knows about him? Or have you vented to her yourself when your angry and she’s projecting that onto him now?

tell her to pick her nose more fulfilling fuck her

She’s jealous and doesn’t want you happy. Probably want him for herself

Do they give you any reasons as to why they don’t like him? If it’s everyone sending you warnings, then maybe it would be a good idea to set your feelings aside and look at their reasons objectively – if for no other reason than to say you’ve weighed the issues and made your decision.
If it’s just her spreading crap around, and others choose to believe it, then they’re not really your support anyway.

Who cares he married you not your family

So make the choice and get rid of the toxic family…

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What did he say to her? That’s important. Second she sounds like she knows something about him you don’t know or she’s trying to break you guys up because she’s jealous. You need to talk to someone else about this who knows both of you for an honest opinion on what’s going on. If she’s jealous and trying to ruin your relationship for no reason then she can be cut out. If she knows something she needs to be honest with you.

OP leaving out some important information :eyes:. Why does sister not like him?

I may be wrong, but it sounds like she knows something…

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It’s your husband or BF and kids that matter. Anyone else needs to get over it. If they don’t it’s their loss. Father of the baby needs to be their when baby is born not your sister

Sounds like a her problem. She needs to get over herself. She’s just being a nasty human or she’s jealous. Some of these comments man… :rofl:

Your Sister is toxic, and disrespectful, set hard boundaries with her, I’d also be on the phone with my parent’s straightening shit out, and making it clear how she treats him! In fact I’d cut her ass off, but that’s me.

Sounds like She probably slept with him before you came along

Tell your sister to FUC*K OFF.

Unless there’s something deeper here and she has a legitimate reason for feeling this way…he is your family and should comes first. As someone who was on the receiving end of the same BS with my ex husband’s family, I can assure you it hurts him to his core. You need to stand up for him and if it means to not associate with your family unless they get their heads out of their asses then so be it.

That’s so rude of her! Be happy your family

Sounds like sister found something on your partner or they’ve known each other from the past. If she was a nosey person as you say she would’ve came up to him that day and started asking questions. Maybe ask your parents why your sister thinks he’s a horrible guy. Do a background check on him.


You have a baby shower just don’t invite the people that can’t act right they need to get over it you’re having a child with him hes gonna be in your life forever whether they like it or not and it sounds like your sister’s just jealous to me. it’s not fair to you that they’re adding extra stress to your pregnancy that you don’t need. if I were you I would just cut them out at least until after the baby’s born so you don’t have to deal with all this extra stress. And he should be in the delivery room over your sister that is his child he made that baby with you not her. And it’s only hurting the child later on in life if you do what she says and don’t give The baby his last name. She’s just being selfish and not have your and the babys best intrest at heart.

You need to decide where your priorities are. Seriously evaluate the issues your sister is seeing and figure out if there is any merit to what she is saying. If you truly feel your sister and family are wrong, then tell her she is way out of line for her behavior towards your family and until they can get it together and be respectful- they are NOT welcome anyway. Cut off the toxicity because it isn’t going to change anything but your relationship with your partner.

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Red flags everywhere… your family has loved you since day one. There has got to be more to this. Show up to all family functions and prove he’s great like you say. Have your baby shower and invite them all. If he really is a great guy he’s gonna help you deal with the stress and prove that he is worthy of you to your family.

has to be a good reason talk to her , she knows something and does not want you be hurt .

Tell your sister to grow up. Start acting like an adult.

If she has a problem then she needs to tell you what it is. If she is telling the family tales… talk to them. If she is just being nasty…it’s her problem, avoid her. I’d want an answer to why she hated him before she ever met him and why the family believes her and not you. Talk to them all. Get an answer then you can decide. Sounds like you are happy with your spouse why aren’t they?

I would take him to get to know your family so they can all see and just ignore her.

Have you asked her why she doesn’t like him? It sounds like she knows him from somewhere but doesn’t want to tell you

I’m curious about what she’s saying about him?